Revelations--A 'Daria' Fanfic"
by Steven Galloway
Summary: What If Daria and Quinn had a brother they thought were dead, but wasn't?
1. Default Chapter

"Revelations--A 'Daria' Fanfic" Part 1 By Steven Galloway SGall23241@aol.com What if Helen and Jake Morgendorffer had a _son_ they thought had been dead for years? How would Daria and Quinn react to having a full-blooded _older_ brother? How would everyone's lives change, for the better--or for the _worse_? Let's find out, shall we? By the way, this is my first fanfic, so please don't be too hard on me if you criticize. Thank you.   
First, the disclaimers. 'Daria' is the superb creation of Glenn Eichler and Susie Lewis Lynn for MTV, which is a division of Viacom International Inc. , and is written solely for the purpose of entertainment and/or enjoyment of the readers of 'Daria' fanfics, and not for profit, so please don't sue me--I'm not rich. This particular 'Daria' fanfic is copyright 2000 by Steven Galloway, and may be used only with my permission, which basically means that you can freely distribute it as long as you use my name, and not change its contents. My thanks to such books as "The Daria Database" by Peggy Nicoll and "The Daria Diaries" by Anne D. Bernstein for providing valuable information on 'Daria'. 

_(Note: This story takes place just after the end of Daria's junior year in high school, in terms of the show, that's after the fourth year. Oh, and one more thing: this is quite a __long_ fanfic. I realize I may discourage some people from reading this by writing that, but I do this out of common courtesy just to warn you--of course, while you could read a little here one day, and a little there the next day, it is my sincerest hope that you will enjoy my take on a terrific show--in other words, read it like **Daria** would--a **book**.)

_Prologue_

  


_(Somewhere over the Rockies, near Denver:)_

  


Both engines of the private jet were stalled. The pilots were frantically preparing for an emergency landing. The jet was dropping at a fast and steep drop rapidly. There is a man and a woman in the jet's luxurious compartment, both securely buckled in their seats, with nervous looks on their faces. The man, a tall, balding gray-haired fellow wearing an expensive blue business suit. The woman, also with gray hair, although not as gray as the man's, wearing an expensive green designer dress. The man reached over to hold the woman's hand.

MAN: It'll be all right, dear. _(Thought v.o.: I'm not sure I believe my own words...I've got to strong for her...)_

WOMAN: O-of course it will be, dear. _(Thought v.o.: Oh God, if something happens to us, what will happen to Darren, especially with what happened to him after--after---no, don't go there---it's not over yet.)_

As if in _answer_ to the woman's thoughts, the jet suddenly _nosedives_ and plows into a _mountain_.

  


Chapter 1- Discoveries

  


_(Five minutes later...)_

  


It was a pleasant late Friday evening at the Appleton estate only forty miles northwest of New York City, at least to _Darren Appleton_ it was. He was reading _Watership Down_, a novel written by Richard Adams. Darren was quite handsome, with wavy reddish-brown hair and deep-blue eyes. He had a jutted jawline, and looked athletic in build, with broad shoulders. He was wearing his pajamas and housecoat, and was sitting at his desk in his room. The spring semester from Eastward College was over, and summer was now here, all the better to relax from his vigorous and rigorous studying, and to try and get past--_her_...

DARREN: _(Thought v.o.: I can catch up on this book now, with dad and mom gone to that seminar.)_

Suddenly the phone rang beside Darren's bed. Slightly irritated, he looked over at his wall clock and saw that the time was 11:30 p.m.

DARREN: _(Thought v.o.: Who's calling this late at night? Everyone should have known that my parents have gone to that seminar. Well, if it's business, dad will **skin** them alive. Best let Elenor pick it up. I'm too much into the book to stop now.)_

Downstairs, _Elenor_ the maid was fixing herself a late-night snack in the mansion's large kitchen. She was a small woman in her early 60's with white hair and a stern, worn look. Looks, however, could deceive. On the inside, she was a softy, at least where Darren was concerned. She picked up the kitchen phone on the third ring.

ELENOR: This is the Appleton estate. Who is speaking?

VOICE: (Cold:) Elenor, this is _William Appleton_.

Elenor's face turned into a _scowl_. She never liked William personally because of his rather brutish, agressive personality, and neither did Darren, for that matter. How _dare_ he call now? She knew that Darren's father, William's brother, gave specific instructions not to call after 10:00 p.m. concerning business. _Wait a minute_. William _knew_ that his brother and sister-in-law were gone to the seminar in Denver, so _why_ was he calling at the _mansion_? 

ELENOR: (Pause:) Master William, is there something wrong?

WILLIAM: (Still cold voice:) Elenor, will you let me speak to Darren, please? Thank you.

Elenor thought about saying something else, but decided to wait. For some reason, she felt that now would not be a good time to haggle over William's untimely call.

ELENOR: One moment, Master William.

Elenor called on the intercom that was connected to Darren's phone in his room upstairs.

ELENOR: Master Darren, I'm sorry to disturb you, but there's a phone call for you from Master William.

DARREN: _(Frowns, thought v.o.: What the--who does Uncle Will think he is? This had better be important...)_ I got it, Elenor. _(Switches on receiver button, curt greeting:)_ Hello, Uncle Will, this is Darren. What do you want?

WILLIAM: _(Pauses, cold voice:)_ Darren, I don't know exactly how to tell you this---but---

DARREN: _(A little annoyed, glancing in his book:) Spit_ it out, Uncle Will.

WILLIAM: _(In still-cold voice:)_ I just found out that your parent's jet has _crashed_---there were _no_ survivors. I'm sorry.

Downstairs, Elenor began to eat her snack, a tuna sandwich. Before she could bite into it, she heard an _anguished_ scream from Darren's room, a scream so _loud_, it seemed to _resonant_ throughout the entire mansion. Elenor dropped her sandwich on the floor, startled. She bolted from the kitchen to the upstairs.

_(The place is Dumas, California circa 1980, the time is about 2:30 a.m. In a house, the scene is chaotic:)_

DOCTOR: Mrs. Morgendorffer, I'm going to have to perform a _cesarean_ to remove the baby. There's no other way. I'm going to have to put you _under_.

Helen Morgendorffer was beside herself. She was laid up on a table and pregnant, screaming for her husband Jake, who was behind her. She reached behind, grabbing him by the front of his shirt.

HELEN: DAMN IT, JAKE! Don't let him do _this_ to me! There has to be some _other_ way!

JAKE: _(Timidly:)_ Doctor Turley, isn't there some other way to do this? I mean, you're by _yourself_ and all--

DR. TURLEY: _(Calmly cuts him off:)_ --You and your wife came to me in the middle of the night, Mr. Morgendorffer. There's no time to get to the hospital. Both of you did the right thing in coming to my home, trust me. I've done this many times without a midwife. _(He puts on his mask--one would think that he's grinning beneath it--he also gives a mask for Jake to put on,)_ I'm going to require your assistance, however, for some minor things--get me some warm water in my kitchen, please.

Jake, now with his mask on, begins to get the water, but the situation seemingly becomes too much for him, for he faints. Dr. Turley immediately notices, while Helen watches him and sighs loudly.

HELEN: JAKE!! Get up!! _Damn_!!

DR. TURLEY: _(Now suddenly in a hurried voice:)_ I'm sorry, Mrs. Morgendorffer, but your husband has fainted, and I don't have the time to help him _and_ you, now! If I don't put you under, you could _die_, the _same_ for your _baby_! Please!

HELEN: _(After a quick glare at Jake sprawled out on the floor, now resigned to her fate:)_ A-all right, Dr. Turley. D-do what you must, just save my baby.

DR. TURLEY: _(Calm again:)_ Of course, Mrs. Morgendorffer, now just relax. _(The doctor places an ether-soaked cloth over her mouth,)_ Now breathe deeply--there you go--breathe now...

Helen's eyes closed. Dr. Turley began.

The next instant, Helen's eyes came open. She was lying in a bed in Dr. Turley's bedroom. Immediately, she saw her husband looking at her with a unreadable gaze. Helen looked down on herself. She had had the baby.

HELEN: _(Smiles:)_ Jake, where's our baby boy? Let me see him.

JAKE: _(Quiet voice:)_ Helen, honey, oh God--I'm so sorry--f-forgive me, it's all my fault, I shouldn't have fainted, m-maybe the baby w-would be here-- _(Sobs, puts head in hands)_

HELEN: _(Becomes alarmed:)_ --Jake, what the HELL are you talking about?! _WHERE'S MY BABY?!_

DR. TURLEY: _(While walking into the room, followed by paramedics, slight pause:)_ I--I'm so sorry, Mrs. Morgendorffer. The baby is--_dead_.

HELEN: _(Eyes wide open:)_ OH GOD!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!

Helen suddenly awoke from her nightmare screaming. Jake, lying next to her, jumped up screaming as well. Both hugged each other fiercely.

HELEN: _(Sobbing slightly:)_ JAKE! Oh God, I'm having _that_ dream again!

JAKE: You _too_, Helen? I thought I was the _only_ one!

HELEN: _(Stunned:)_ Y-you--had the dream about the _baby_, too?

JAKE: _Baby?_ Honey, I thought you were talking about my _Old Man_! _(Eyes begin to narrow, looks up:)_ That selfish _bastard_--

HELEN: _(Really annoyed:)_ JAKE! What the _hell_ are you talking about?! I'm talking about losing our baby!

JAKE: _(Confused at first, but it finally hits home:)_ O--oh, yeah, _that_.

About a few moments later, Quinn bursted into their bedroom, followed a few seconds later by Daria. Needless to say, both were not happy campers, at least one could tell by Quinn. Daria, however, was _another_ story.

QUINN: MUH--OOM! What's the _matter_ with you? I need my _beauty_ sleep! I'll get _wrinkles_ and lose my _cuteness_!

DARIA: _(Usual deadpan, sarcastic voice:)_ Oh _yeah_. That's _definitely_ a loss for _all_ of us. _ (Quinn glares at Daria)_ Look, as much as I would like to see your screaming _wake up_ the dead and _terrorize_ the town, I want to spend my first day of summer fully refreshed, ready to live my life preparing for the hellish boredom and/or relaxation one would expect with this particular season. Please resume your horizontal positions in peace. Thank you. _(With this, Daria goes back to her room, while everyone stares at her leaving for a moment.)_

HELEN: _(To Quinn:)_ I'm sorry, sweetie. I just--had a nightmare. It happens.

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Okay, Mom, _whatever. (Quinn leaves)_

Helen laid back on the bed beside Jake. She looked at the alarm clock beside her bed. It was 3:30 a.m. Jake looked at his wife, worried.

JAKE: Honey, are you all right?

HELEN: _(While looking at the ceiling, sighs:)_ No, Jake, I'm _not_ all right. Those damn recurring dreams about losing our baby are coming _back_. _(Shutters:)_ I thought I'd put _that_ behind me forever, or at least had come to grips with it. Now, for _some_ reason they're _back_, and it scares the hell out of me--again.

Jake, in a rather rare show of decisive movement for him, reached over and embraced his wife. He tenderly held her.

JAKE: _(In a quiet tone:)_ Helen, I know I've said this many times, but if I hadn't _fainted_--

HELEN: _(In a soothing voice:)_ --It wouldn't had made a difference, Jakey. It's okay. I just know I don't want to go back to those _psychologists_.

JAKE: _(Gathers up the courage:)_ Helen, uh--maybe we should _tell_ the girls. They have a right to know that they had a brother, even if he was _stillborn_. They _deserve_ to know. Our families have kept this a _secret_ long enough.

HELEN: _(Gently pushes herself away from Jake:)_ Jake, don't you think I _haven't_ thought about that? It's just--just--they might think that we thought that they were _weak_, that the girls might think we couldn't _trust_ them with something like this, that they couldn't _handle_ it. God, just the other week Amy asked me the same thing over the phone what you just told me. She said it was like keeping a _lie_ going. W--what will the girls think about us lying to them after all of these _years_, Jake? About having a baby of their _own_? They might think this could happen to _them_! _(Wraps her arms around herself)_

JAKE: Is _that_ what you're afraid of, dear? That the girls might be _afraid_ of having children if you tell them? Uh--well--

HELEN: _(Curious look:)_--What, Jake?

JAKE: --Well, Daria's a _strong_ girl, and we can support Quinn if she'd gotten upset over this. But you had Daria and Quinn _after_ what happened that night. You _recovered_.

HELEN: _(Deep in thought:)_ So I did. _(Pauses:)_ All right, Jake. We'll tell them tomorrow, but listen _very_ carefully--_(she looks him dead in the eye with a determined look, one that Jake knows all too well:)_ do not even _think_ of reading a newspaper when we tell them, because I want your _full_ attention, _got_ it?

JAKE: _(Timidly:)_ Y-yes, dear. _(Turns on his side away from her:)_ G-good night, honey.

HELEN: Goodnight, Jake. _(Closes her eyes)_

Later that morning, Helen and Jake were waiting in the kitchen for their daughters. They sat at the table looking warily at each other, holding hands and not saying a word. There was a newspaper that Jake had retrieved earlier that sat on the table between them, but it was still rolled up in a plastic bag. Fortunately, it was a Saturday, and there was no need to do the usual Morgendorffer two-step-go-to-work-no-time-for-talk performance. Helen had even taken the batteries _out_ of her cell phone! This was a serious moment, indeed.

Soon, Quinn came into the kitchen, apparently in a rush.

QUINN: Can't talk now, guys! I've gotta go see the Fashion Club at the mall for a summer fashion meeting---

HELEN: _(In a firm voice:)_ Quinn, sit down.

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ But Muh--oom--

JAKE: _(In "back-up" mode to Helen, firm voice as well:)_ Sweetie, _please_ do what your mom says, this is _really_ important.

QUINN: _(Sits down reluctantly:)_ Look, if this is about my _grades_, I _passed_! I _barely_ passed, but I passed! _No_ summer school, right? _(Slightly sounding desperate, eyes widening:)_ _Right_?

HELEN: _(Sighs loudly:)_ No Quinn, it's _not_ about your grades. It's something _else_, and it's _not_ about you. Just wait until Daria gets here, okay?

As if on cue, Daria walked into the kitchen. She noticed that everyone was looking at her.

DARIA: _(Usual sarcastic deadpan repartee:)_ Okay, I'm here. _(Pauses:)_ You may now resume your daily activities. _(Waves hands:)_ No, no, there is no need to rise up for me. I will continue my daily motion of cereal consumption, early morning style. If you wish, you may watch. _(Pauses:)_ No, don't thank me. It's your _right_.

HELEN: _(Sighs even louder and longer:)_ Daria, _please_ sit down and listen to us. _(Daria does so)_ There is a really important matter your father and I have to tell you and Quinn.

DARIA: It _must_ be. The famed _newspaper_ hasn't been taken out of it's famed _plastic bag_, and you're not talking on your famed _cell phone_.

HELEN: _(Ignores Daria's remark:)_ Girls, your father and I have to tell you a secret, a family secret that _(Pauses:)_ we've kept from you for almost _twenty_ years. You see--

QUINN: _(Suddenly jumps up & points to Daria:)_ I _knew_ it! Daria's _adopted_! You found her _real_ parents! I couldn't _possibly_ be related to _her_!

DARIA: _(Looks directly up at Quinn, sarcastic:)_ Actually Quinn, I came up with a _similar_ conclusion. _(Looks at Helen and Jake, smirks:)_ Now, tell me who my _real_ parents are, and I can _leave_ you all to go _back_ to them, and away from all of this _nonsense_ that I call a _family_.

HELEN: _(Becoming angry:)_ GIRLS--

JAKE: _(Jumps up:)_ DARIA'S--_ADOPTED_?! OH NO! HELEN, I THOUGHT THIS WAS ABOUT THE BABY WE LOST BEFORE DARIA AND QUINN WERE BORN!

The stunned silence, needless to say, spoke _volumes_.

_(The same morning, at the Appleton mansion, an hour later)_

WOMAN: You cold-hearted _fool_! How could you call Darren like _that_?

The scene in the foyer of the Appleton mansion was full of tension. There was a woman, a spunky-looking, attractive, late-forties red-haired beauty with a fierce scowl. She glared up into the face of a large, husky, balding black-haired man with thick, bushy eyebrows and an equally fierce scowl. Also in the foyer were Elenor the maid and Claude the butler, standing to the side.

MAN: _(Finger pointing in woman's face, angry:)_ Now see _here, Millie_--I wanted Darren to find out first, and not let the media get the story out, and let him find out that way by them calling here, or Darren seeing it on TV, or reading it in the paper!

MILLIE: You could've called me and we _both_ could have told him in _person_! You had _no_ right to leave poor Elenor to console Darren! You've _no_ feelings, William!

WILLIAM: _(Now enraged:)_ NO FEELINGS?! Millie, our brother and sister-in-law are _dead_! You--

ELENOR: _(Walking up to both:)_ Please, Master William and Mistress Millie! Master Darren may wake up and hear you arguing! _(Lowers voice:)_ Besides, _Claude_ got out of bed last night and _helped_ me with Master Darren. _(Claude nods frantically)_ It was all we could do to finally get him to sleep, and that was only a _few_ hours ago!

Millie and William seemed to calm down after Elenor's tepid intervention, but still glared at each other. Claude, a tall, thin, grey-haired man with a thin mustache, followed Elenor's lead and walked up to both.

CLAUDE: _(In a soothing voice:)_ Master William, Mistress Millie, won't you have something to eat? You need your strength.

William let out a quick, affirmative grunt and walked to the dining room. Millie glared after William a second more, and then followed him.

The dining room was large and opulent, with a chandelier hanging from a high ceiling over a twenty-foot long oak table. The walls and ceiling were covered with paneled mirrors that were trimmed in a gold leaf finish. The floors were marble with intricate flower designs. William and Millie sat down in two of the twelve matching oak chairs that surrounded the table, with William sitting at the end of the table and Millie sitting near the end, beside William.

MILLIE: _(After staring down at the table a second, looks at William:)_ I'm--sorry for shouting at you, William. It's just that--

WILLIAM: _(Looks away, calming himself:)_ --You don't have to apologize, Millie. You're--right, of course. I shouldn't have called like that. I just wasn't thinking.

MILLIE: _(Reaches over and pats William's hand, in an assuring voice:)_ William, as you've said, we've both _just_ lost our brother and sister-in law. In tragic situations, people do things without thinking clearly. Now we've got to think about Darren. My God, what's going to _happen_ to him?

WILLIAM: Look, Elenor has called his friend Chris--no, _Curtis_--yes, that's his name--over this morning. Along with us, he'll help Darren get through this. Didn't Darren get over his girlfriend's _death_? What was her name--

ELENOR: --_Stephanie_, William. It was Stephanie, and no, Darren _didn't_. He seemed to be coming out of it a little, but her death only happened a little over a _month_ ago. There's no way he could've gotten over it _that_ quickly, or for that fact, maybe _ever_.

WILLIAM: What do you mean, Millie?

ELENOR: _(Sighs, exasperated:)_ Wasn't it _obvious_, William? They were in _love_ with each other.

WILLIAM: _(Rolls his eyes:)_ _Hmph_. Love is for the _weak_ at heart. I've _no_ time for it.

MILLIE: No, you _don't_. _(Sarcastic tone:)_ You're too busy thinking about money, power, and the conglomerate. I think something like love goes _over_ your head.

WILLIAM: _(Now with a low, meanacing tone, talks through clenched teeth:)_ That's _enough_, Millie. _Someone_ has to continue to keep Appleton Industries going, and to handle the fallout from this.

MILLIE: _(Becoming angry:)_ _Fallout_? Is that all you care about, our _stockholders_?

WILLIAM: Damn it, Millie! _Arthur_ and _Lucille_ would think about the company! They'd want us to put their house in order--_(then adding as an afterthought in response to Millie's incredulous look:)_ _after_ dealing with Darren, of course.

MILLIE: _(More sarcasm:)_ _Of course_. Don't you think that's why _wills_ are read? Wills are what put houses in order, don't you _forget_ that.

WILLIAM: Oh, I _won't_. You won't _let_ me.

A moment later, Claude and Elenor walked in with several covered trays. Beneath the trays were several dishes: two egg omelets, bacon, toast, orange juice, jam, and coffee. William and Millie began to eat. For a few minutes, there was only the sound of eating. William then stopped and looked directly at Millie.

MILLIE: _(Mildly frowns:)_ What?

WILLIAM: _(While drinking coffee:)_ There's going to be a press conference a little later this morning at the _Peerdale Hotel_ downtown. The National Transportation Safety Board may have some answers as to _why_ the jet went down. I'm wondering if I should be there to represent the company--

MILLIE: _(Sarcastic, cuts him off:)_ --Yes, William, represent the _company_, don't worry about the _family_. Show your _true_ colors. I'm sure there's no one _else_ in the company to do that.

WILLIAM: _(Grows angry again:)_ _Look_, Millie--

The doorbell suddenly rang.

MILLIE: Do you think that's _Curtis_? The media isn't allowed on the estate's grounds. Did you tell security to let Curtis by?

WILLIAM: _(Rolls his eyes:)_ Oh, come _on_, Millie! Of _course_ I let them know! Do you think I'm a _complete_ idiot?

MILLIE: _(While smirking:)_ No. Just a _half-baked_ one. _(Gets up to go to the door)_

William glared in silence after Millie, then got up and followed. Claude had already opened the front door.

CLAUDE: Master Curtis, thank you for coming.

Curtis stood at the doorway. He was a medium-height, athletic-built African-American with his hair cut in a box shape. He had a look of deep concern on his clean-shaven face. He had walked into the foyer just as Millie and William came in.

CURT: Hey Claude, Millie, Mr. Appleton.

WILLIAM: _(With something of a phony demeaner:)_ Now, Curtis, there's no need to be so _formal_. Just call me William. _(Reaches out to shake Curtis' hand. Curtis returns his shake with a limp, insincere one.)_

CURTIS: Yeah, _right_. _(Looks around:)_ Where's Darren? Is he still asleep?

DARREN: _(Shouting in a level-sounding voice:)_ No, Curtis--I'm awake now.

Everyone looked up at the top of the stairs. They saw a very weary-looking Darren still in his housecoat and pajamas. He looked down on them, his expression unreadable. He came down the stairs in a slow, drawn out walk.

CURTIS: _(Walks up to Darren:)_ Oh man, I'm so _sorry_. _(He grips Darren's shoulder, gently sqeezing it.)_ Is--is there anything I can do for you?

DARREN: No, man. I think I'm still in shock, but I also think I'm all cried out. This is _surreal_. _(He then hugs his Aunt,)_ Aunt Millie, are you and Uncle Will all right?

MILLIE: _Us_? _You're_ the one we're worried about, Darren. 

DARREN: _(In a weary voice:)_ I'll _survive_. I _have_ to. Right now, I've got to eat something, or at least try. _(He walks trudgingly off towards the dining room, then stops and turns around, looks at Claude:)_ Claude, I've already told Elenor this, and I want to tell you as well--thank you for being there for me with Elenor last night. I don't know _what_ I would've done if either of you weren't there for me. _(Claude nods quietly, slightly smiles. Darren begins to walk again, then stops, rolls his eyes, and turns to Curtis:)_ Where _are_ my manners? Curtis, have you eaten breakfast? Did Aunt Millie and Uncle Will offer you something?

CURTIS: It's okay, man. I already ate. _(Hesitates:)_ You want to--_talk_ or something?

DARREN: Later. Right now, I just want to _eat_ or something. Come on, just keep me company, and just watch me eat. _(Curtis smiles weakly, then walks into the dining room with Darren, followed by Claude.)_

WILLIAM: _(Looks after them, with something of a sneer, in a low voice:)_ Well, now. I see he had words for _me_, didn't he?

MILLIE: _(Raises her eyebrow at William's rather bitter tone of voice:)_ He asked if you _were_ all right, William.

WILLIAM: No, Millie, he asked _you_ if I was all right. He didn't say it directly to _me_.

MILLIE: _(Sighs, rolls her eyes:)_ _Now_, William--

WILLIAM: _(Curt:)_ --_Forget it_, Millie. Look, I've got to go home to my _Park Avenue_ apartment and get some company papers, and then get to the press conference. I'll see you later. I'll see that security continues to keep the press out. _(He immediately leaves, slams the door)_

MILLIE: _(Looks at the door with a scowl on her face, eyes narrow, talks to herself in a low, hushed tone:)_ You _really_ push _everyone_ away, don't you, brother? Well, I won't let you try to push and bully Darren in his grief concerning the company, not that he'd _let_ you, I'd suspect. You can count on that, and--oh,no--the _secret_ will be out--my God--Darren, as if everything that has happened to you already _wasn't_ enough..._(Millie's face turns pale)_

_(Scene changes to the Casa de Lane residence, Lawndale, the same morning, Jane's room)_

Jane was packing some clothing into a duffel bag on her dresser, not painting at her easel for a change. Daria sat on Jane's bed, watching her.

JANE: _(With a stunned look on her face:)_ You and _"Princess Prissy"_ almost had a _WHAT_?

DARIA: You heard me, a _brother_. He would have been two years _older_ than me.

JANE: Geez--and run the reason by me _again_ as to _why_ your parents didn't tell you after all this time?

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ Mom and dad, particularly mom, were afraid Quinn and I were going to be afraid of having children of our own after hearing of her losing the baby, or at the least, think of her and dad in such a way that would cause us to _lose_ respect for them for not telling us the truth after all those years, as if I haven't done that _already_.

JANE: Uh-huh--and what did _"Little Miss Cupie Doll"_, who _(lets out a small snicker:)_ "accused" your parents of _adopting_ you, do again?

DARIA: She looked _completely_ stunned--she didn't say _one_ word after our parents told us everything, not even asking _any_ questions, then excused herself and went up to her room.

JANE: Whoa. She didn't say _one_ word at all? _(Daria shakes her head)_ And how did _you_ take this?

DARIA: _(Pauses, then shrugs:)_ It was cool with me. I'm used to the _standard_ Morgendorffer lunacy. The self-centered, egomaniacal "cousin", the wimpy, out-of-touch dad, the domineering mom--this is _tame_ stuff.

JANE: _(Pauses packing, skeptical look on her face:)_ Yeah--_right_. Now, how did you _really_ feel?

Daria stared at Jane a second. She slowly put a finger to her mouth and then got up and went to Jane's door. She opened it and looked out into the hallway both ways, then slowly shut the door back. Jane watched her with a slightly arched eyebrow, curious. Daria then leaned back against the door with a bit of a wistful look on her otherwise impassive face. She stared a second more at Jane, and then spoke.

DARIA: Jane, I _felt_ that---for sure I was--_(dramatic pause:)_ _adopted_. _(Mona Lisa smile)_

JANE: _(Frowns slightly, smirks:)_ Oh, _hardy-har-har_. _Very_ damn amusing. You're telling me you weren't affected at _all_?

DARIA: Well, I have to admit I was caught off guard there for a second. It would have been--_interesting_ having a big brother, someone to confide in, or to just hang around with. Quinn _doesn't_ count, of course, so I'll have to settle for _you_, I guess. _(Pauses:)_ I'm curious though--what's it _really_ like to have Trent as a big brother?

JANE: _(While resuming her packing:)_ When he's _not_ sleeping? It's cool. I can rely on him to really be there for me, you know, giving me rides and stuff. I guess he feels like it's his _duty_ to watch out for me since our parents are usually off gallivanting someplace, and I _ain't_ complaining. _(Pauses:)_ I think a brother's role is to be there for you _anytime_, I guess.

DARIA: _(Subtly changing the subject:)_ Well, your mom's not gallivanting anywhere without you this time. Where are you _two_ going again?

JANE: _(Tries to hide her excitement, but failing somewhat:)_ We're flying out to the Grand Canyon and are going to some Native American villages in the Southwest. She wants me to experience pottery skills from the locals firsthand for a _month_, and I can paint some, too. _(Smirks:)_ At least by some small miracle, all of our bills are paid up for now, so we don't have to worry about the house being _repossessed_. _(Pauses, gets a serious look on her face, reflects:)_ Maybe _that's_ why I'm going with her, so we can have a _little_ time together, to make up for her being everywhere _but_ home--

DARIA: _(Looks slightly despondent because her friend's going to be gone, but inwardly happy for Jane, adds her dry wit:)_--And _nothing_ like a chance for some good, old-fashioned mother-daughter _bonding_, right? _(Slight smirk)_

JANE: _(Looking a bit sheepish:)_ Well, I guess--_(she then smirks wickedly:)_ and _speaking_ of bonding, this gives you a chance to bond with _Trent_! _Nobody_ will be around!

DARIA: _(Shakes her head slowly:)_ Jane, come on, knock it off. Besides, Trent's leaving with Mystik Spiral tomorrow for two weeks on a "find-a-gig-tour" across the country--_if_ he and the band can make it _around_ the country in one piece in the Tank. Why would they come up with a _cockamamie_ idea like that anyway?

JANE: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Besides Trent getting an _excuse_ for a cheap vacation from his sleeping? Trent and the boys think that some record agent out there in the "Great Unknown" will spot their "hidden" talent if they play at carnivals or trade shows or something like that. They even actually have a few gigs already locked up. So what's the big deal? You'll have two weeks left when he gets back to make your move. _(Realizes something, smirks:)_ Hey! _I_ didn't tell you that he was leaving for two weeks, at least not yet. How'd _you_ know? Did he tell you _himself_? Looks like you're _already_ making that _first_ move, girl.

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Foiled your plan to tell me at the last minute, eh? C'mon, cut out the _yenta_ act already. Besides, I got that info from your _mom_, not Trent, and she _volunteered_ it.

JANE: No can do with the yenta act, dear, at least not yet anyway. My plan of getting my mom involved with getting you and Trent together is working _perfectly. (She rubs her hands in an evil way, like an evil scientist in a movie, smirks again, and laughs in a mockingly evil way:)_ WOO-WHO-HA-HA!

DARIA: _(Sighs, slightly exasperated:)_ Yeah, really _smooth_ plan there, Lane. At least you'll have a little reprieve with your mom way off someplace. Me, I'm gonna be stuck with the _hell_ that is my family. My parents are thinking about going to the beach or the mountains. If it's the beach, I can consider _drowning_ Quinn _accidently_. If it's the mountains, I can consider _pushing_ Quinn off a cliff _accidently_. _(Shakes her head slowly, hand on her cheek:)_ What a choice, what a choice.

JANE: _(Crosses arms, mocking motherly sympathy:)_ Awww, poor baby.

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Anyway, have a good time. I know I _won't_ here. Don't worry about the house--I'll keep an eye on it while you guys are gone.

JANE: _(Genuine smile:)_ Thanks, Daria.

Suddenly, there was a knock at Jane's door. Daria opened it and saw Trent standing there.

TRENT: _(In his usual low-key, laid back voice, smiling:)_ Hey, Daria.

DARIA: _(Quietly smiling back:)_ Hey, Trent.

Trent walked past Daria and went to Jane.

TRENT: Janey, I can't find my songbook. Have you seen it?

JANE: Don't tell me you lost it when we went to Fremont. Did you check in the Tank?

_(Note to reader: See, of course, "Speedtrapped")_

TRENT: Hey, maybe you're right. Jesse said for me to leave it in there so I wouldn't forget it again. I'll call Max and Nick in my room and check. _(Turns to leave, walks past Daria:)_ Take it easy, Daria.

DARIA: _(A bit hesitant:)_ Um, see you, Trent. Have a good trip, and uh--be _careful._ _(Trent nods to her and goes into his room, shuts his door)_

JANE: _(Smirks, mocking Daria's voice:)_ _"Be careful."_ Oooh-la-la! Why don't you go to Trent's _room_ and say _goodbye_ to him in your own "special" way?

DARIA: _(Blushes slightly, playfully waves her fist:)_ Why don't I just send you on your vacation in _my_ own "special" way, _ahead_ of your mom, courtesy of "Air Daria", _fist_ class? _(Adds her own smirk:)_ Besides, aren't you going to say goodbye to _Tom_ in _your_ own "special" way?

_(Of course, dear reader, Jane met Tom in "Jane's Addition")_

JANE: _(Now frowns, finishes her packing:)_ He and I _aren't_ on speaking terms right now, you _know_ that.

DARIA: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Oh, come on. Don't tell me you're _still_ mad that he _joked_ about your abstract painting of him yesterday.

JANE: _(Still annoyed, eyes narrowed:)_ He said it looked like a _rodent_, Daria--a rodent! To me it _wasn't_ a joke. Come on, Daria, I take my art really, _really_ seriously, right? _(Daria nods)_ When he laughed, it kind of--_hurt_. I know I shouldn't have _shouted_ at him, but that painting represented my _feelings_ for him, and he didn't seem to appreciate that. _(Frowns:)_ Actually, when I think about it now, this was just _another_ moment in a long line of--_(checks herself, says nothing else)_

DARIA: _(Miffed somewhat, eyebrow cocked:)_ Another--moment--in a long line of--_what_?

JANE: _(Shrugs her shoulders, waves it off:)_ Nah--it's _nothing_. _(Sees Daria's skeptical look:)_ _Really_. _(Looks away uncomfortably for a moment)_

DARIA: _Oookay. (In a serious tone now:)_ Look, Jane--Tom and I aren't still exactly the best of er,--_(hesitates:) friends_, but I really don't think he meant any harm when he laughed at your painting. Remember, it was of _him_, and not of say, _me_. I mean, if he would've laughed at _my_ portrait, you would've been _short_ one boyfriend. _(Jane smirks)_ Just call him and--_(sighs:)_ I can't believe I'm saying this, but--_make up_.

Jane looked at the painting of Tom leaning in the corner of her room for a moment, then shrugged.

JANE: Ah, hell. Okay, okay! You're right! _(Picks up her phone and dials Tom's number)_

The phone rang for about eight times, and then Jane slammed the phone down.

JANE: _(In a frustrated, angry tone:)_ DAMN! He's not home!

DARIA: _(Trying to sound reassuring:)_ He could be on his way over here, or maybe he'll be waiting out at the airport to surprise you. Let's not assume that anything's wrong. _(Looks at her watch:)_ Hey, the plane's going to leave in less than an hour. Is your mom ready?

JANE: Dunno, I'll check. _(Walks over to door, opens it, and shouts down the hallway:)_ MOM, ARE YOU READY TO GO?! _(Daria winces at Jane's loud voice)_

AMANDA: _(From downstairs in a loud but somehow still-soothing voice:)_ YES, JANE, I'M WAITING FOR YOU AND TRENT! WHERE _IS_ THAT BROTHER OF YOURS?

JANE: IN HIS ROOM! I'LL SEND DARIA TO GET HIM! _(Daria glares at Jane)_ Hey, you don't _have_ to walk in there. Just knock and he'll comma runnin' out. _(Waves her hands in a shooing fashion:)_ On withya now, girl, gotta get my bag and easel. _(Daria goes out in the hallway to Trent's room and knocks)_

DARIA: Um, Trent? _(Silence, she knocks again:)_ Trent? _(No response. Daria tries the doorknob, which turns, and she peeps in to see Trent sprawled out on his bed, stomach first, asleep, and yes, in his regular clothing:)_ Well, there's a _newsflash_ for you--_"Trent's Asleep--Again"._

Jane, now carrying her duffel bag by a strap over her shoulder as well as her easel, brushed past Daria and violently pushed open the door to Trent's room, speaking as well in one motion:

JANE: _(Grins, In a loud, hysterical, hurried voice:)_ THIS IS A RAID! PUT YOUR HANDS UP WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM! DON'T HIDE THE STASH! _(Trent promptly jumps out of his bed, wide-eyed)_

TRENT: _(In a panicked state:)_ Officer, it's _not_ mine! I didn't--_(looks around for a second, then glares at Jane:)_ Aw, damn it, Janey! I'd wish you'd _stop_ doing that! _(Sits back on his bed, starts to put on his shoes)_

JANE: _(Sinister smirk:)_ Hey, it's the _only_ way to get you up. Come on, we're ready to go to the airport. _(Looks at Daria, eyebrow raised:)_ You sure you can't go with us, Daria?

DARIA: _(Looks uncomfortable for a moment:)_ Nah--I've got to take care of some--_personal_ stuff at home. Be sure to not send me a postcard, I don't want to send it back to you _mutilated_. _(Jane smirks)_ Remember--don't worry about Tom, like I said before--I'm sure he'll see you off--he's probably at the airport, waiting to surprise you. _(Jane looks hopeful, and both girls go downstairs with Trent)_

_(The Morgendorffer home, same time, Quinn's room. Quinn is lying on her bed talking to Sandi on the phone)_

QUINN: _(Her typical singy-songy voice:)_ --Yeah, Sandi, a--uh--family emergency. That's why I couldn't come to the Fashion Club meeting at the mall.

SANDI: _(Usual haughty valley-girl tone:)_ Well, like, I can _excuse_ that, Quinn. We all have these types of emergencies, like the time I couldn't find the right ruby red lipstick for that white satin dress I bought at _Cashman's_ a few weeks ago. It was _terrible_, I can tell you.

QUINN: _(Fake sympathy:)_ Ohh, right, Sandy. Uh--I was--uh--curious--

SANDI: Yes, Quinn, like, _what_ is it?

QUINN: I wanted to know--what's it _like_ to have Sam and Chris for brothers?

SANDI: _(Sounding slightly put off by Quinn's question:)_ What exactly do you _mean_, Quinn?

QUINN: _(Quickly covers herself:)_ Ohh--nothing, Sandi! I just wanted to know, you know, since I'm an _only_ child, just what it's like to have um--brothers? I sometimes--_think_ about that.

SANDI: _(In a suspicious tone:)_ Hmm--was this, like, the "family emergency" you were talking about, Quinn?

QUINN: _(Wonders if she should say this to Sandi, sighs, then decides to tell:)_ Well, yeah. I just found out that I could 've had an older brother, but he died while being born. You know, I wonder how it would have turned out if he had lived.

_(Note to reader: Remember "Gifted" and "Daria Dance Party", in which we saw Sandi's brothers at their worse against Sandi? This is going through Sandi's mind after Quinn's remark)_

SANDI: _(Sounding bitter:)_ You're _lucky_, Quinn.

QUINN: _(Taken aback:)_ H-huh?

SANDI: You _heard_ me. You're _lucky_. You don't have to put up with bratty, snotty-nosed little monsters who hit and mistreat you, or let you freeze outside! I had to, like, stay out of school for _three_ days because I had a _cold_, remember?! You don't have to put up with stupid screaming and tattling! You don't have to worry about any of _that_!

QUINN: _(Slightly shaken by Sandi's tirade:)_ T-that's _terrible_, Sandi! There has to be some _good_ things about having brothers, right? _(Pauses, no response:)_ Sandi?

SANDI: _(After a moment, cold:)_ No, Quinn, not at _all. (Changes the subject abruptly:)_ Look, Quinn, let me tell you what we talked about at the meeting...

QUINN: _(Thought v.o.: I don't know why she hates them. I don't exactly feel that way about Daria, even though she is a **brain**. I just don't want to be seen **with** her--there's a difference--**right**?)(Speaks as if she understands Sandi's briefing:)_ Yeah, I see, Sandi, uh-huh...

Downstairs, Helen was watching television and Jake was beside her on the couch reading the newspaper. Helen had put the batteries back in her cell phone, but no one from her law firm had called yet about any weekend work. She was watching the morning news when a live report broke in.

NEWSPERSON: ---Thanks, Terri. We have a live press conference at the _Peerdale Hotel_ in New York City coming up concerning last night's tragic jet crash near Denver that killed Arthur and Lucille Appleton of Appleton Industries. The National Transportation Safety Board will give their early findings concerning as to how and why the jet crashed. It is expected that because the investigation is in its preliminary stages, there will be very little information, primarily because of the remote location of the wreckage in the mountains, and that the jet's recording device, it's _Black Box_, hasn't been located yet. Stand by for further information. On a postscript, speculation rages as to what will happen with the Appleton Conglomerate, and how this will affect its performance on Wall Street. There may be a statement from the Vice-Chairman, William Appleton, soon.

HELEN: _(Wistful look on her face:)_ Appleton Industries. Hmm--I've heard that the Appletons had a son--_Arthur_, I think--I wonder why the report hasn't said anything about that _poor_ young man?

JAKE: _(Looks up at Helen from his newspaper:)_ Huh? Oh--_(points to the article in the front page of the paper:)_ It says in the paper, honey, that his private life has been pretty well kept under _wraps_. His family wanted him to not grow up in the _"Glare of the spotlight"_, or something. Even trying to find a good _picture_ of this _"Arthur Jr."_ guy is _extremely_ rare! I guess they wanted him to have a pretty normal life. _(Pauses:)_ Say, _why'd_ you ask about that?

HELEN: _(Glares at Jake, sighs loudly:)_ Isn't it _obvious_, Jake? They had a son that will outlive them, someone to carry on the line. _(Sad look:)_ I wonder what would've happened if _our_ son had lived.

JAKE: _(Thinks about when he mentioned to Andrew Landon about having a son **[Note to reader-see "Gifted"])**_---You know Helen, _(puts down paper, becomes amorous in nature:)_ we could maybe _start_ on possibly having one. _(Begins to put arms around Helen.)_ It's _not_ too late, you know.

HELEN: _(Brushes him off:)_ No, Jake, not like _that_. If there's one thing I learned from those damn psychologists is that I shouldn't have a child to simply _replace_ the one that I lost, but to do so out of _love_. Why do you think we waited awhile to have Daria and Quinn? _(Pauses:)_ Speaking of Quinn, I really should check up on her and see how she's doing. _(Gets up to go to Quinn's room, while Jake resumes reading the paper)_

Helen went up the stairs to Quinn's room with a slight air of apprehension. When Jake "dropped the ball" about the baby, Daria had an unreadable look on her face, (surprise, surprise) and then, after a pause, asked questions as to what happened and why had Helen and Jake kept such a secret from she and her sister for so long. Quinn, on the other hand, simply looked stunned and said nothing, and then after Daria's questions, excused herself, and went to her room. Then, to Helen and Jake's surprise, Daria offered to talk to Quinn. Helen, however, decided that Quinn needed time to fully digest the news, and that Helen herself would talk to Quinn later. Certainly Jake would be of no help, especially after his incredibly stupid outburst. The _last_ thing Helen needed was _his_ imput.

Helen heard Quinn talking on the phone, probably to a boy or one of her Fashion Club friends. She hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should knock and interrupt Quinn's conversation, then decided to wait to talk to Quinn later, quietly leaving Quinn's door.

_(Scene goes back to the Appleton Estate)_

After Darren had eaten breakfast, he and Curtis went to the media room and sat down to watch the press conference. It was quite a large space, with a veritable gigantic fifty-inch television screen and CD/VCR/audio center, with hundreds of VHS tapes. It was in fact, a mini-television studio, with real oak paneling along the walls. Millie came in to join them, and tried to gently dissuade Darren from watching it. Darren had refused, insisting that he had to see why such a well-maintained jet could simply crash so easily, and that the sooner he could deal with what happened to his parents head-on, the sooner he could get on with his life. Darren leaned forward and watched the TV intensely.

_(On the TV screen:)_

SPOKESWOMAN FOR THE NATIONAL TRANSPORTATION SAFETY BOARD: According to reports from the control tower, the pilots said that they were losing fuel, and that the jet was _rapidly_ losing altitude. Early speculation is that the fuel line just built up too much pressure and began to leak fuel profusely. It was amazing that the jet didn't explode in the _air_.

DARREN: _(Mutters to himself:)_ No, just the on the _ground_.

NTSB SPOKESWOMAN: We're still trying to recover the jet's Black Box, and when we do, we'll have more infomation--

Darren suddenly clicked off the TV with the remote, surprising Curtis and Millie.

DARREN: I've seen _enough_. _(Sighs:)_ I'm going to go to the workout room and then take a shower. _(Gets up and prepares to go)_

CURTIS: _(Along with Millie, gets up, too:)_ Hey, uh--

DARREN: _(In a weary tone:)_ It's okay, Curtis. I don't need anything --_really_. _(Looks off in space, narrows eyes:)_ I--I've got to get ready later for the funeral arrangements after I take the shower. _(Pauses, looks at Curtis:)_ I'll see you later, okay? Thanks for being here, but right now, I need to be alone. _(Leaves quickly)_

Millie and Curtis watched Darren leave.

CURTIS: _(Hand on forehead:)_ Oh, Lord, Millie. What are we gonna _do_?

MILLIE: _(Turns Curtis to her, looks at him pointedly in the eye:)_ The only thing we _can_ do, Curtis--_be_ there for him.

CURTIS: _(Looking like he wants to cry, slowly shaking his head:)_ After Stephanie, and now his parents--it's _not_ fair, damn it!

MILLIE: _(Pats Curtis on the back, gently, looking like she too, wants to cry:)_ _Life's_ not fair, Curtis. _(Thought v.o.: And it's going to get worse before it gets better, with that damn **secret** that Darren will find out about soon.)_

The funeral the following Monday was private, with police and security keeping the media at bay. From a local large church, the large funeral procession ended up on the southeastern part of the 450-acre estate grounds, a beautiful wooded area. Darren remembered that his parents loved this part of the estate, and Millie remembered that her brother and sister-in-law wanted to be buried here. Darren had been remarkably quiet throughout the funeral, more than likely because he had cried himself out, Millie supposed. Neither she nor Curtis left Darren's side. Millie could only dread what was coming next, having known from Lucille the _secret_. William, meanwhile seemed somewhat _impatient_. He had gently prodded the pallbearers to go a little faster with the coffins, even offering to leave the bereaved immediate family to help put them in the hearse. Millie noticed this, and she quickly looked over at Darren, who had a brief look of _rage_ on his face while watching William. The looked vanished just as quickly as it came when they had gotten into the limos. After both coffins had been lowered onto the ground, everyone went into the Appleton mansion.

After everyone from the politicians to the business acquaintances of Arthur and Lucille Appleton gave their condolences and left, Darren, Millie, and William went into the huge, book-filled family study, leaving Curtis outside in the hallway. The family lawyer, _Leonard Potter_, was waiting for them, along with several Appleton business associates. Leonard had the look of one of those scholarly-professor types. He had bushy brown-gray hair, glasses that sat on the edge of his nose, with a stern, business-like, no-nonsensical poise about him. He wore a gray tweed suit, with black elbow pads. Darren respected Leonard for his straight-forward bluntness and honesty concerning the family's legal dealings, and because of the fact that William did _not_ like him. William thought that Leonard was too _tepid_ in legal matters, and had even tried to have Arthur Sr. _remove_ him, which of course, Arthur Sr. did not. Except for Leonard, everyone sat down at a large rectangular mahogany table in the middle of the study. Leonard stood at the head of the table,and after a few seconds of looking at some of his notes, began to speak.

LEONARD: We are here to read the will concerning the business holdings of the Appleton Conglomerate, and _only_ the business holdings. The non-business holdings will be read with other parties, family and otherwise, tomorrow. Only those who have been requested here by the deceased--_(pauses, looks at Darren for a moment as if to say, "I'm sorry", Darren nods for him to go on:)_ holders, Arthur and Lucille Appleton, as per instructions from the will, may attend. _(Leonard shifts some papers around, and sighs for a second, then speaks:)_ _Ninety_ percent of the conglomerate's holdings, including all of Appleton Industries, and the Chairmanship, upon approval of the Board of Directors, shall be given to _Darren Appleton_--

At this point, it was safe to say that chaos erupted, with several associates screaming at the same time, and William leaping out his chair, enraged, while Darren looked stunned, completely at a loss for words.

WILLIAM: _(Obviously stunned and enraged:)_ What-in-the-hell-is-_this_?! Tell me this is a _freaking_ nightmare! There's no way that _he (points at Darren:)_ is ready to run a _billion-dollar plus_ conglomerate! He's _not_ even a--_(checks himself, looks around foolishly, red-faced:)_--er, ah, _experienced_.

LEONARD: _(Completely calm, stern-faced:)_ William, if you're through making an _ass_ out of yourself, please sit _down. (To which William, after a momentary glare at Darren, does)_ Thank you. Now, as I was going to continue to say, this is _not_ retroactive, so Darren does not have to be Chairman anytime soon. In fact, he has the option of choosing someone _else_ to run the company in his place until he chooses to take the helm himself. The time he chooses is at his own discretion, or he could simply give up the post to someone else _permanently_.

MILLIE: In essence, Darren can wait until he's _good and ready_ to take over the Chairmanship, _no_ matter the length of time.

LEONARD: Precisely, Millie. The ball's in Darren's court, so to speak. _(Looks at Darren, who's still speechless)_

WILLIAM: _(Eyes wide open, hands thrown in air, looks up, talks in a tone of stunned disbelief:)_ This is _un-be-lieve-able_. I cannot _fathom_ what was going through Arthur and Lucille's minds when they did this. Our entire conglomerate--at the _mercy_ of Darren's _whims_? The whole world has gone _insane. (Buries head in hands while resting elbows on table, consoled by some associates beside him, while Millie, who is sitting across from him, frowns)_

Darren slowly rose up out of his seat and looked at everyone sitting at the table, walking in a deliberately slow motion, with his hands behind his back. Everyone watched him without a word, mesmerized. He walked around the table in silence, gathering his thoughts, then he paused--and spoke.

DARREN: I don't know exactly what to say, so please bear with me for a moment. _(Pauses:)_ I guess I have to make a decision as to what direction this company will take. There's _no_ way I can take over now, that's for sure. I'm just not up to it, with what's just happened and all, and my going to Eastward College, not wanting to end _that_ prematurely. So, I'm going to choose someone with the experience and wherewithal to continue what my parents started, someone who can push the company's goals in a positive direction, one who's been Chairman before: _(dramatic pause, sighs:) Uncle Will_.

At this point, it was safe to say that chaos erupted, with several associates screaming at the same time, and William leaping out of his chair, stunned and delighted, while Darren looked expressionless. Millie looked at Darren with stunned disbelief, her mouth agape. Darren glanced and nodded at Millie as if to say, "I can explain", then he spoke again.

DARREN: _(Looks around:)_ Undoubtedly, some of you are _somewhat_ stunned as to why I chose my Uncle Will on a _temporary_ basis. _(Looks impassively at William, who stops congratulating some of the same colleagues who were consoling him only seconds earlier, and stares uneasily at Darren,)_ Actually, the reason I chose him is quite simple: he is the most qualified person in this company, and--personal feelings aside, he is capable of doing the job, having done it before with a glowing report. _(William beams, his chest is puffed out)_ My parents always said that _personal_ feelings should never get in the way of doing business because it can disrupt one's ability to condusive reasoning in conducting business with others. _(Sighs:)_ I'm sure my uncle will put the best interests of the company first.

WILLIAM: _(After getting up, rushes to shake Darren's hand, delighted:)_ Well said, my boy! Well said! I couldn't have put it better _myself_! You've made a wise choice! _(Darren rolls his eyes:)_ Don't you worry, Darren--the whole conglomerate is in _safe_ hands!

DARREN: _(Shakes hands with fake smile, thought v.o.: It **better** be, or you'll be hitting the highway, Uncle.)_

The rest of the meeting focused on the remaining ten percent of the conglomerate, which consisted of minor holdings. Afterwards, everyone adjourned, save for Darren, Millie, Leonard, and Curtis, who was allowed to come into the study.

LEONARD: Darren, there's something _else_ your parents wanted to give to you--

MILLIE: _(Intercedes:)_ Leonard, can't this wait until _later_? I wanted to talk to you over the phone yesterday about it, but you were out--

LEONARD: _(Calmly:)_ No, Millie, you _know_ it can't. Arthur and Lucille gave me _specific_ instructions to do this after the reading of the company will. _(Begins to pull out a videotape from his briefcase)_

DARREN: _(Looks between Millie and Leonard:)_ Do what? What's going on? What's on that tape, Leonard?

LEONARD: _(Gives the tape to Darren:)_ Just see for yourself, Darren. I can't tell you. I'll see you tomorrow. _(Looks at Millie, then leaves)_

MILLIE: _(Sighs, gently grabs Curtis:)_ H-he's right, Darren, just see for yourself. Come on, Curtis, we should leave Darren alone to view the tape. Let's get something to eat in the kitchen. _(Curtis looks as if he's about to say something, but the quick glare and head shake from Millie stops him, and, after glancing at Darren once more, leaves.)_

Darren watched them leave and stared at the tape. It said, _"Truth"_. For some reason, he felt _queasy_, not exactly knowing why. Reluctantly, he went into the media room, and shut the doors. He put the tape into the VCR and turned it and the TV on, and sat down slowly, watching with a sense of uneasiness. The screen went from snowy to black, then his parents sitting in the study faded into view. They had a _pained_ but _determined_ look on their faces, as if what they had to say was going to do something _bad_, but _had_ to be said anyway. Arthur Appleton spoke.

ARTHUR: _(Completely serious tone:)_ Darren, this is a day that your mother and I have long _dreaded_--your watching this tape can only mean one thing--that your mother and I are _dead_. We can only hope that everything good we've taught you in your life will never be forgotten, and that your mother and I loved you very much. _(He looks pained--holds his wife's hand, then goes on:)_ Please never forget that especially, son. We always tried to be there for you, throughout the good and the bad, the thick and the thin, always there supporting you. But--there's something your mother and I kept from you, something we planned to tell you when you turned twenty-two. _(Pause, looks at Lucille, then the camera:)_ Darren, you were--_adopted_.

Darren stared at the screen in utter and total _disbelief_.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2- Searching For Answers

_(The same moment, at the Morgendorffer residence:)_

Quinn went to Daria's room reluctantly. In the past few days, Quinn had deliberately avoided talking about her parent's stunning _revelation_ about the stillborn baby to anyone, save for her conversation with Sandi. She downplayed how she _really_ felt when Helen finally cornered her, waving it off and saying that it really wasn't that important, and that _"Life goes on."_ Of course, Quinn wasn't so sure _she_ could go on without a few questions--or answers--and, despite their differences, she could only talk about something this personal with only one person--_Daria_. Quinn sighed, then tentatively knocked on Daria's door.

QUINN: _(In a quiet tone:)_ Daria, can I talk to you? It's about--

DARIA: _(Lies on her bed, looks at the ceiling:)_ --The _baby_, right?

Shocked, Quinn quickly came into Daria's padded room, shutting the door behind her.

QUINN: Huh? _How'd_ you know?

DARIA: _(Sighs, gets off her bed, looks at Quinn:)_ Quinn, it was pretty _obvious_ that you were upset over what our parents said about the baby. I saw how you've been behaving in the last few days. Even for _you_, I could see that you weren't yourself. _(Thought v.o.: And there's not that much "self" there to begin with.)_

QUINN: _(Hesitates:)_ Yeah, I guess you could. Mom said you'd even _offered_ to talk to me.

DARIA: _(Slightly caught off-guard by Quinn's statement:)_ Uh, well, it was only a _rare_ moment of weakness. Don't _read_ anything into it. _(Crosses arms, changes subject quickly:)_ So, what did you want to talk about concerning the baby?

QUINN: _(Gathers her thoughts:)_ Daria, what do you think would've happened if our brother had _lived_?

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: That he's one lucky son-of-a-gun that didn't have to live with the hell that is my immediate family?) (Speaks seriously:)_ Quinn, to be honest with you, I think our big brother would've made our relationship --_(sighs:) better_.

QUINN: _(Shocked, mouth and eyes wide open:)_ What? _Better_? How'd you figure _that_?

DARIA: Think--_(pauses for an instant--this is Quinn she's talking to--the word **"think"** and the name **"Quinn"** are used rarely together, save for fashions and boys:)_ about it, Quinn. Our brother could've maybe _bridged_ the galaxy-wide gap between us because I don't think he'd _let_ us fight. He would've played _peacemaker_ and _peacekeeper_ between us, being the older brother we'd look _up_ to. I _really_ believe that. Look at mom and dad. I think mom was so _traumatized_ by our brother's death, she'd decided to _bury_ herself in her work, even after having us, wanting to _forget_ about that _terrible_ moment--and in a way I couldn't _blame_ her if she did. Dad, on the other hand, went into a _shell_, becoming a ghost of the man he used to be, and not just because of Grampa "Mad Dog" Morgendorffer. I think that because dad fainted at the very point our mom needed him most, he's _never_ really forgiven himself. Both of our parents haven't been there for us as really strong role models, though I suppose they've had their moments. As a result, our sisterly relationship _suffered_ because our parents suffered. At least that's what _I_ think. What do _you_ think?

QUINN: _(After taking in all Daria has said, decides to take up only one point of Daria's--Quinn has a headache trying to keep up after all--see "Through A Lens Darkly":)_ Of our brother bringing us _closer_ together? _(Smirks, rolls her eyes:)_ Yeah--_right_. C'mon, Daria. If anything, I think that if our brother would've lived, you and I'd be driven _further_ apart.

DARIA: _(Raised eyebrow:)_ And just how do you _figure_ that?

QUINN: _("Well, duh!" tone:)_ He would've taken _my_ side when we'd argue, making you resent me _and_ him. I mean, why would _he_ want to take the side of a _brain_? _(Points to self, smug:)_ With _my_ looks and charm, Big Bro would've obviously agreed with _me_.

DARIA: _(Frowning, usual deadpan voice:)_ In other words, he'd fallen for the _"Quinn Morgendorffer Charm-My-Brother-With-Fluttering-Eyebrows-And-Singy-Songy-Voice-That-Other-Boys-Fall-For-All-The-Time-So-Why-Not-My-Brother-Strategy"? Dream on_. I don't think _he'd_ be fooled by your shallowness and charm like the _equally_ shallow and charm_less_ boys that you go out with and then _dump_ about as _rapidly_ as the sun _rises_ and _sets_. Remember, this would've been our _brother_. He'd know you _better_ than _those_ guys. _(Smirks)_

QUINN: _(Incensed:)_ You're just _jealous_, Daria! Our brother would see my _superiority_--

DARIA: _(Smirks even more:)_--In _empty-headed shallowness_? You have me there, _"cuz". (Quinn glares at her, then turns around and stomps out of Daria's room, slamming the bedroom door so hard, it opens back, staying slightly ajar.)_

Daria walked to the door and overheard Quinn go downstairs and tell their parents she was going to Sandi's house for a fashion party, and then the front door slammed.

DARIA: _(To herself, low voice:)_ Hmm--now _that_ conversation went rapidly _downhill_. At least she's _back_ to her normal, annoyingly self-absorbed shallow self. _(Leaves her room to go downstairs, sees Helen and Jake in the living room:)_ Mission _accomplished_, Mom and Dad--_fifty bucks_, please. _(Holds hand out)_

HELEN: _(Frowns, hands on her hips while Jake gives Daria the money:) Honestly_, Daria! Making money off of your sister's _pain_! The things we _do_ to get things done around here--

DARIA: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ She's a _pain_, all right--besides, I _did_ offer to talk to her for _free_, remember? You wanted to talk to her _your_ way, and look _where_ it got you. I'm going to the library. _(Begins to walk out, then stops and sighs, turns back to look at her parents:)_ Er, before I go, do you guys, um--_need_ anything?

HELEN: _(Surprised, after looking at Jake and vice versa:)_ Uh, no, sweetie, we don't, but--thanks for asking us.

Daria looked somewhat relieved, then walked out the front door.

JAKE: _(Perplexed:)_ Helen, what was _that_ all about?

HELEN: _(Lost in thought:)_ I don't know, Jake, it seemed as if she--_(it starts to dawn on Helen, for she begins to slowly smile)_

JAKE: _(Now really curious:)_ WHAT, WHAT, WHAT? _(Helen cuts her eyes at him, annoyed)_

HELEN: _(Sighs:)_ Come _on_, Jakey, and I'll explain it over some tea--_(both go into the kitchen)_

_(Back to the Appleton mansion-- the media room, the same time)_

Darren could not believe what he was hearing. Adopted? _ADOPTED_? He had gone through the tape once already, and out of disbelief, decided to play it _again_ to make sure that his sanity hadn't gone by the way of the _dinosaurs_. He had just listened to his father say that word again for the first time, and then heard his mother speak again.

LUCILLE: --That's right, Darren, _adopted_. We--_(looks about to cry, is held by her husband:)_ couldn't have any children of our own, so we worked through a--_(begins crying, her husband continues)_

ARTHUR: _(Grimly:)_ --An _adoption agency_, Darren--arranged for us to get a baby--_you. (Stops for an instant, composes himself:)_ When we first saw you, we fell _instantly_ in love with you. You were--_(Lucille, having stopped crying, cuts her husband off)_

LUCILLE: --You were so _beautiful_, son, we couldn't believe it when we were told that your birth mother _didn't_ want you. The agency said that her family _abandoned_ her when they found out she was pregnant, and that your birth mother thought about getting an _abortion_, but couldn't do it. Your birth father _vanished_, according to the what the agency told us, without any clue. The poor dear felt so scared and alone, she gave up her baby, you, to the agency, with the stipulation that she _not_ give her name. We--we paid the agency a fee of _$50,000_ for getting you, so we jumped to the _top_ of the waiting list.

DARREN: _(Eyes narrowed, thought v.o., cynical: Whoever said money dosen't buy happiness is a dirty liar.)_

ARTHUR: _(Pauses for his next statement:)_ We had previously invented a _ruse_, Darren, a story to cover the fact that we couldn't have children. I announced that your mother and I were going to take off for a _year_, to see the world. We'd figured during the hiatus, we'd say your mother had _"finally"_ gotten pregnant, and that would cover us. To our surprise, the round-the-world ruse was _easily_ believed, for no one questioned it. We left your uncle _William_ in charge of the conglomerate during this time. We didn't want to say that you were adopted because of--certain--_perceptions_--people would think that someone who they thought wasn't a _"true"_ Appleton shouldn't become the head of the conglomerate to haunt you in your _youth_, son, not until your mother and I thought you were mature enough to handle the _scrutiny_ that we knew was sure to come. That's why we wanted to wait until you were twenty-two to tell you. At least you would have your life ahead of you, with no distractions to disrupt your college education, and that you'd have a _normal_ childhood. We'd even go to great lengths to keep the media _away_ from you, as you yourself know. _(Looks into the camera intently:)_ Darren, as far as your mother and I are concerned, you _are_ an Appleton, in _every_ context. That's also why we gave almost all of the conglomerate to you--it's your _birthright_. We also put in the clause that you could take over _anytime_ you wanted. You could give yourself time to _recover_ from our deaths, to take time off someplace, to just get your life together.

LUCILLE: Darren, we can only _guess_ what's going through your mind now. _(She begins to cry again:)_ Just please don't _hate_ us. We only wanted what was _best_ for you. _(Buries her head in her husband's shoulder, crying softly. Arthur speaks again)_

ARTHUR: _Son_--I don't know if you'd want us to call you _that_ anymore, though I hope you _do_--we'd figured that maybe you'd want to try to find out who your birth mother or father is in the _future_. The agency--the _Barnes Adoption Agency_ in Los Angeles--wouldn't tell us, naturally, but we found out _who_ gave them you. It was a _Doctor Hugo Turley_ in a town called _Dumas_, in California. We _tried_ to talk to him about five years ago, but he insisted that we could not find out who the birth mother was out of respect for her _privacy_. Maybe you'll have better luck than us if you try to find out. May God bless you--_son. (The screen fades to black, then goes snowy)_

Darren stared at the snowy screen a minute more in silence, then used the remote control to switch off the TV. He slowly rose out of his chair and simply went out of the media room quietly.

  


In the kitchen, Millie had just broken the news to Curtis. Both were sitting at the table talking over some snacks.

CURTIS: _(Stunned:)_ I can't _believe_ what I'm hearing! Darren's _adopted_? This has got to be some kinda _prime-time soap opera_! On _top_ of everything else--this is a freaking _nightmare! (Slowly shakes his head)_

MILLIE: _(In a quiet tone:)_ It's _no_ nightmare, Curtis, I can assure you. Darren _was_ adopted.

CURTIS: God, Millie--how _long_ did you know about this?

DARREN: _(Walks into the kitchen, interrupting before Millie has a chance to respond:)_ Yes, _"Aunt"_ Millie, how long _did_ you know about this?

Startled, Millie and Curtis looked at Darren. He had something of an unreadable look on his face while watching her intensely. Both Millie and Curtis got up, with Millie walking tentatively over to Darren.

MILLIE: _(In a quiet tone after a moment:)_ A little over a _year_, Darren. Your--_(She hesitates, not entirely sure "mother" is an appropiate word to use in this situation, does so gingerly:) mother_ told me the whole story at that island resort we went to in the Florida Keys last year for the annual stockholder's meeting. I could tell _something_ was bothering her at the time, and after some gentle coaxing, she told me while crying. My reaction was similiar to Curtis when I first heard it. I wanted her and your father to tell you right then and there, but she _begged_ me not to. She said that she had to tell _somebody_, that she had to get rid of her _guilt_, to clear her _conscience_. Darren, I'm so sorry, I can only hope that you can _forgive_ me someday. _(Begins to cry, puts face in hands)_

Darren stared at her for a second, then his face softened considerably. He walked up to his aunt and gently hugged her, letting her cry on his shoulder. Curtis watched both of them, smiling, privately relieved that his friend was taking the stunning news in such a way.

DARREN: _(While still hugging her:)_ It's--it's _okay_, Aunt Millie. I forgive you _now_. I can only imagine what _you_ went through this past year.

MILLIE: _(Looks up into Darren's eyes, sniffing:)_ Darren, there were times I wanted to _scream_ the truth to you, but I waited out of respect to your parent's wishes. I just--just thought it wasn't my place to say anything. _(Starts to cry again, becomes agitated:)_ Dear God, Darren, please don't _hate_ your parents! They were only thinking of _you_!

DARREN: _(Cuts her off gently:)_ Aunt Millie, I--I _don't_ hate my parents, I could _never_ really hate them. They adopted me, and raised me as their own son, being there for me _all_ of the time, loving me. _(Pauses:) How_ could I hate them after _that_? _(Stares in space, frowns for a moment, perplexed:)_ I only wished they had told me _earlier_.

MILLIE: I think they were _afraid_ of what you _might_ do, Darren. That you could have thought of yourself as not really being a _true_ Appleton, of not having the _confidence_ of living with such a discovery.

DARREN: _(Stares at Millie and Curtis for a moment before answering:)_ I heard something like that on the tape. Actually, I think my parents had something of a _point_, though. Maybe I _would_ have done something if I had known _earlier, (narrows eyes, determined look on his face:)_ something that I plan to do _after_ the non-business reading portion of the will tomorrow.

CURTIS: _(After he and Millie look at each other:)_ What's that, Darren?

DARREN: Why, _search_ for my birth parents, of course.

LUCILLE: _(Shocked:)_ B-but _why_, Darren? You--you _don't_ want to be an Appleton?

DARREN: _(Raised eyebrow in surprise, reassuring her:)_ Aunt Millie, as far as I'm concerned, I _am_ an Appleton. Its just that I've become--_curious_ about who my birth parents were. As I watched the tape twice over, I couldn't help but to _wonder_ about that. _Why_ did my birth father leave my birth mother? Is my birth mother _still_ alive, or my birth father, for that matter? Does she or he ever _wonder_ about me? My parents told me that I might have wanted to try and find my birth mother or father, and I do. _(Pauses:)_ You know, next to my parents being there for me when I needed them throughout the years--as well as _you_, Auntie, they did something that was almost just as special--they _told_ me I was adopted. My parents didn't have to say _anything_ to me or to you, to _anybody_. I would've _never_ known. Maybe I need to find this out as some sort of _closure_ for me, so I can get on once and for all with my life, to get past Stephanie's death, my parent's death, and finally, my adoption, to search for my _roots_. The fall semester won't start at Eastward for three months, so why not take some time to _look_ for them? I don't know if I'll find anything, but hanging around the mansion for the summer and hiding out from the media will drive me _stir crazy_, and if I'm going to take a trip, it might as well be for something worthwhile.

Millie was about to say something when William, followed by Elenor, walked into the kitchen. William looked _red-faced_, as if he was caught in the act of doing something _naughty_. He glared at Elenor, who _promptly_ returned it.

DARREN: _(Looking as confused as Millie and Curtis:) Uncle Will_? _Elenor_? What's going on?

ELENOR: _(Still-cold glare at William, accusing look:)_ Should _I_ tell them, Master William, or should _you_?

WILLIAM: _(Rolls his eyes at Elenor:)_ I was going to say _something_, Elenor. Calm down. Darren, Millie, Curtis, I was about to find Darren once again and thank him personally for choosing me as Appleton Industries' Chairman when I--er, _overheard_ you all talking--

ELENOR: _(Angry, looks at Darren then back at William:)_ --More like he was _eavesdropping_, Master Darren.

WILLIAM: _(Sputters, indignant:)_ I did _nothing_ of the sort! I just came upon what you all were doing and wanted to wait until you were _finished_, that's all! _(Exaggerates his arm movements in a wild, twisting motion:)_ Should I have just walked in, unannounced? Of _course_ not!

ELENOR: _(Copies William's arm movements:)_ Could you have just walked _away_, unannounced, _until_ they were finished, Master William? Of _course_ you could have! _(William really stares daggers at Elenor now, and vice versa.)_

DARREN: _(Expressionless stare at William, speaks in a monotone voice:)_ Uncle Will, _what_ did you hear?

WILLIAM: _(Searches for words:)_ That you were--_adopted_ by your parents? _(To this, Elenor looks shocked.)_

DARREN: _(Sighs:)_ Yes, both of you, it's true--I _am_ adopted.

ELENOR: _(Stunned:)_ M-Master Darren? A-adopted? H-how--?

Darren quietly motioned to Millie, and she led Elenor out of the kitchen gently, all the while explaining to Elenor the story of the adoption. Darren and Curtis stayed in the kitchen to talk to William.

DARREN: Yes, Uncle William, I'm adopted. It's a long story, and I--_(William puts his palm up, facing Darren) beg your pardon_? _(Darren and Curtis look at each other, then William, confused)_

WILLIAM: _(In an almost eerily calm voice:)_ I _already_ know about the adoption, Darren. Your--_father_ told me about it. _Everything. (Darren and Curtis now looked shocked)_ Obviously, you're surprised, and I guess I can understand _why_. Your father told me at the annual stockholder's meeting last year _also_. I see that he wanted to get the guilt of not telling you about the adoption off of _his_ conscience, too. _(Looks in the direction where Millie and Elenor walked out:)_ I must say I didn't know that Millie knew it, too. I followed your father's wishes of not saying anything to you.

DARREN: _(Comes out of his stupor along with Curtis:)_ Uncle Will, _you_ kept this secret for a _year_, too? _(Pauses, looks at his uncle a little uneasily:)_ To be _frank_ with you, I'm, well--

WILLIAM:--_Surprised_ that I _didn't_ say anything after _all_ this time? It's quite all right, Darren. I can see _why_ you'd think I'd say something to someone, quite the _opposite_ of what your Aunt Millie did. You'd think you and I can't _stand_ one another, and what could be a more perfect way of _hurting_ you than telling someone _outside_ of the family, and causing a media uproar? _(Shakes his head slowly, sighs:)_ Darren, I'd _never_ do that, not even to _you_. As far as I'm concerned, you _are_ an Appleton, _lock, stock, and barrel_. If I had any _doubts_ about your loyalty to our family, you proved that by making me Chairman of the conglomerate. _(Now Curtis looks shockingly at Darren, who gives him a look similiar to the one he gave Millie that says, "I'll explain later.")_ I wanted to thank you for that again, Darren, and offer to _help_ you find your birth parent or parents.

DARREN: _(Now it's his turn to be shocked:)_ Y-you're _serious_, Uncle Will? How?

WILLIAM: By hiring a _private detective_. He can ask some questions, dig up some facts, that sort of thing.

DARREN: I was planning to do the digging up _myself_, Uncle, right after tomorrow's non-business reading of the will. _(Curtis raises an eyebrow at this)_

WILLIAM: Darren, at least let me get a private dectective for you. Although I know you can _(makes a finger quote:) "take care"_ of yourself, the detective can watch out for your _back_.

DARREN: _(Chuckles in a joking manner:)_ What _for_, Uncle Will? Do you think someone's going to _"attack"_ me, to keep me from trying to find my birth parents?

WILLIAM: No, of course not, Darren--its just that, well, you're quite _wealthy_. In addition to helping you find your birth parents, the detective can serve as a _bodyguard_, to keep someone from, well, possibly trying to _kidnap_ you or something, your being able to _"take care"_ of yourself notwithstanding. _Anything_ could happen. What about the _media_? If _they_ find out what you're about to do--

DARREN: _(Throws hands up, giving in to his uncle's wishes:)_ Okay, Uncle Will, okay. I'll do it, if nothing else, just to keep you from going _on_ about this. You have anyone in mind?

WILLIAM: Yes, as a matter of fact, I _do_. Let me get out my cell phone and call him. _(He does so, and in the meantime, Curtis pulls Darren aside)_

CURTIS: _(Lowers voice, talks to Darren out of the corner of his mouth while watching William:)_ Have you gone off the _deep_ end, bud? I'm telling you, he's _up_ to something--probably wants to keep _tabs_ on you for his _own_ reasons. Okay, so the man's _thanking_ you for giving him the reign over the company and everything--speaking of which, I want ask you about _that_, later--how can you _trust_ him?

DARREN: _(Sighs, his voice lowered also:)_ Ease up, Curtis. I haven't gone _totally_ over the edge yet, _(adds after a pause:)_ though I think I feel I have _every_ right to be _tempted_ to do so after what's happened to me these past few days. Look, _whoever_ uncle Will gets, I'm not letting them out of my _sight_. As much as I hate to admit it, though, uncle Will _does_ know people who know people. Dad told me once if the company needed to get anything--and I do mean _anything_ in a hurry--that uncle Will could get someone or something in an _instant_. I can _attest_ to that. Once, I remember that mom liked a certain dress so much, she wanted to buy into the fashion company that made the dress. I know it sounds _frivolous_, but the next day, uncle Will had called _certain_ people, and _viola_! Mom was a _major_ stockholder in that company--later the _same_ day, and eventually, that company _merged_ with the clothing division. The man has _"connections"_.

CURTIS: _(Frowns:)_ Yeah, and that's what _bothers_ me--what _kind_ of _"connections"_? Your uncle could know some _unscrupulous_ people, Darren--people who can do some _bad_ things in business--and _otherwise_.

DARREN: _(Sighs:)_ Don't worry--I'll be _careful_.

WILLIAM: _(While coming over to Curtis and Darren:)_ It's done. The detective I found will be able to help you immediately--his name is _Gerald Woo_, and he has an excellent reputation in his field. I've hired him _before_ in a case concerning our company. He'll be there waiting for you when you arrive in Los Angeles. _(Gives Darren a slip of paper)_ Here's his number for you to call him later before you leave.

DARREN: _(Extends out his hand:)_ Thank you for your help, Uncle Will. I'll have to buy tickets to Los Angeles and--

WILLIAM: _(Shakes Darren's hand, reassuring voice:)_--No, _thank you_, Darren--and I'll handle everything, including the car rental and jet arrangements--_private_, so as not to draw attention to yourself, as well as the hotel accomodations. You just worry about finding your parents. Consider this as--_payment_ for your faith in my leadership as Chairman of Appleton Industries. I'd better start setting up those arrangements right now. I'll see you tomorrow. _(Punches some numbers in phone while leaving)_

DARREN: Okay, see you then. _(Goes with Curtis upstairs:)_ I'd better get Elenor and Claude to help me pack, Curtis. I'm sure Aunt Millie will probably want to help, too.

CURTIS: Hey, do you need me to go _with_ you? I was surprised that you _didn't_ ask me to come along.

DARREN: _(Pauses:)_ Nah, it's okay. _(Smiles:)_ Your being here when I needed a friend was _more_ than enough. Besides, you're supposed to go visit your grandmother in Florida. When you get down there, leave a message here, and I'll call you after I call here. _(Smirks:)_ And let's not forget about _Lena_, shall we? _(Grins:)_ I'm sure she's wanting to see you again.

CURTIS: _(Starry-eyed, thinking, smiles:) Oh, yeah_--huh? Hey, man, cut it out! We're just--_friends_.

DARREN: _(Still grinning:) Uh-huh_, now tell me _another_ one--

While Darren and Curtis went upstairs, William went out of the mansion to a waiting limousine out front in the mansion's long driveway, still talking on his cell phone. A chauffeur held the door open while William got in. In the back seat waiting for him was one of the business associates at the reading of the corporate will who had first consoled, and then congratulated William on getting the Chairmanship. He had a sneaky, almost _ratlike_ appearance to him, with a long, protruded nose and slick, greasy, combed-back black hair. He had a mole on the end of his nose, and two big front teeth that stuck out of the top of his mouth. The smirk he had on his face only seemed to _exaggerate_ his features. The limo began to move just as William was finishing up on the phone.

WILLIAM: --That's right, have corporate jet number three fueled and ready to go at my nephew's discretion, and get him the president's suite at the _Zenith Hotel_ in Los Angeles. Make sure it's _hush-hush_, right? Keep it a secret--we don't want the media to find out what's going on. _(Pauses:)_ Right. Take care of the other arrangements as well. _(Pauses:)_ No, Darren will pay and work with Woo, _not_ me. In fact, I don't want to know _anything_ about what Darren is doing, for this is _none_ of my business. Goodbye. _(Pushes off the "talk" button and pulls down the cell phone's antenna, smiles:)_ Everything's _done_, Benny. _(Reaches into the limo's backseat small refrigerator, pulls out two glasses and a bottle of champagne)_

BENNY: _(Frowns, confused:) "Done"?_ Uh, Boss, _what's_ going on? I'd thought you'd _want_ to keep tabs on Darren about finding his birth parents.

WILLIAM: _(Pours champagne for himself and Benny, shakes his head slowly:) Benny, Benny, Benny_--you've got a lot to learn about my--_(sounding like a sneer:) "nephew"_--he's _no_ fool, although he does have this rather _annoying_ tendency of being _nice_--like his _"father"_ and _"mother"_, a _weakness_, if you ask me. I'm sure he'll ask Woo if he's working for _me_. I want Darren to find his birth parents on his _own_. You see, the _more_ time he takes up trying to find them, the more time he stays _away_ from company business, the _more_ time I can _consolidate_ my power in the company. _(Narrows eyes, begins to get angry:)_ The _last_ thing I need is Darren coming to me angry about my _"meddling"_ in his affairs, and then possibly taking the Chairmanship _away_ from me, the Chairmanship that _should_ have been mine when my _idiot_ of a brother _and_ sister-in-law died! I thought for _sure_ that it was _mine_! Also, I don't have to worry about Darren looking over my _shoulder_ every time I make a decision, sticking his face in _my_ affairs!

BENNY: _(While drinking the champagne:)_ Geez, Boss--how'd we know that the will would give control of almost everything to your _bastard "nephew"_? _(Gets an "I've got an idea" look:)_ Hey! Why not take _care_ of Darren tomorrow like we did his _"parents"_? I mean, the jet can be--

WILLIAM: _(Quickly becoming enraged:) --YOU IDIOT_! _(Looks at the driver, who doesn't notice them, for he is still driving, while Benny cringes, spilling some of his champagne:)_ You're _lucky_ that this part of the limo is _soundproofed_! If he had _heard_ us--_(begins to calm down:)_ anyway, Darren's _"parents"_ were just killed by the plane crash _we_ caused! _(Stares Benny down eye-to-eye:)_ Are you so _stupid_ as to think that the authorities won't think that _something's_ going on if the _same_ thing happens to Darren? _(Frowns:)_ Sometimes, I _wonder_ about you, Benny. Besides, the National Transportation Safety Board is still investigating the crash, and it may be _months_ before they issue their final report. We won't be in the _clear_ until they say it was a _mechanical_ malfunction, not sabotage. _(Sinister grin:)_ As for _Darren_--well, _"accidents"_ can happen--_later_ on down the road.

BENNY: _(Wiping his brow:)_ Y-yeah, of course, Boss, you're right.

WILLIAM: _(Smug look, drinking more champagne:) Of course_ I'm right. _(Chuckles:)_ Darren will tell Millie what he's found, and then I'll get the information from her as the _"concerned"_ uncle. Why get it from a detective I'd have to pay myself? Now, I'm in the mood to _celebrate. (Reaches over to limo's intercom)_ Driver, take us to _Cherie's_ downtown. _(The driver nods and resumes driving, while William looks at Benny, pulls out and lights up a Cuban cigar, lying back in his seat:)_ They're some _ladies_ waiting there for us. _(Benny grins with a lusty look)_ I plan to make some _changes_ in the company, Benny, _big_ changes, but we'll have to go slow to make these changes--no need to raise the _ire_ of the Board of Directors.

BENNY: _(Becoming more comfortable, now chuckling, talking low:)_ Okay, Boss--er, _how_ did Darren _scream_ again when you told him his _(snickers:) "parents"_ had died?

WILLIAM: _(Puffs cigar, eyebrow raised, smirk on face:)_ You really _liked_ what I had said _before_, eh, Benny?

BENNY: _(With an even bigger grin:)_ Oh, _yeah_, Boss.

WILLIAM: Very well. _(Looks at driver, then screams:) NOOOOOOOHHHHGODNOOOOOOOOOOO_!!! _(Both men roar out laughing, while the driver, not being able to hear them, obliviously drives on.)_

_(The same time, at the Morgendorffer's:)_

The cell phone that laid on the coffee table rang in the living room. Daria, sitting on the couch while reading George Orwell's _Animal Farm_, reached over to answer it.

DARIA: Morgendorffer residence. My time is _your_ time.

VOICE: Daria? I hoped it would be you.

DARIA: _(Surprised look:) Aunt Amy_?

AMY: _(Chuckling sound:) Please_, Daria--remember, it's just _Amy_.

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ Sorry, Amy. I think my _usual_ sharp mind and wit have been _dulled_ by all of the free time this season called summer has given to me.

AMY: In other words, you're _bored_.

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ That's about the _gist_ of it. Have you called to add some _spice_ to my boredom? You said you hoped it would be me. Well, here I _be_.

AMY: _(Now sounding coy:)_ That _depends_. Are you alone?

DARIA: Yeah. Mom and dad are grinding their noses on the wheel at work, and Quinn's out raiding _Cashman's_ with her fellow fashion fiends. What's up?

AMY: Your mother called me yesterday to tell me she and your dad had told you and Quinn about the baby. _(Pauses:)_ I wanted to say that I'm sorry I had a _role_ in keeping it from you. I just hope this doesn't hurt our relationship.

DARIA: Nah, it's okay. I figured you thought it wasn't your _place_ to say anything. Mom said that both her and dad's families _knew_ about her losing the baby. _(Raised eyebrow:)_ Actually, when I think about it, it's kinda _strange_ in a way.

AMY: What?

DARIA: That mom's family would agree on _anything_. I mean, I'd thought for sure someone would've brought something like this out long _ago_. For example, if my mom would've been arguing with aunt _Rita_ over whatever childhood "injustice" aunt Rita did to her, then maybe aunt Rita would've blurted out the secret in _anger_ or something.

AMY: _(Sighing sound:)_ I guess I can see what you mean, Daria. It's a _miracle_ that no one said anything after almost twenty years. But maybe just this one time, the whole family came together to help your mother _cope_, because losing a baby can be _devastating_.

DARIA: Yeah, I figured that out pretty much. Maybe that's why I didn't get _really_ angry with her and dad when they told Quinn and me. My parents must've gone through their own personal _hells_ over this. _(Hesitates, looks around for some reason:)_ I've actually found myself hanging _around_ the ol' homestead when they're here, in case they needed anything. That is _definitely not_ me.

AMY: _(Chuckling sound again:) Uh-huh_. That's _not_ you, all right--but I think they _appreciate_ it, anyway. _(Pauses:)_ Speaking of hanging around, where's your friend _Jane_? I thought she'd be hanging around with you, helping you through your "boredom".

DARIA: She's _bonding_ with her mom on vacation somewhere in the Southwest. I'm _trapped_ alone with my family for a month. I'm thinking by reading, the time will breeze by, and Jane and I can then _suffer_ through our "boredom" together. It's only fair that _she_ gets to go through this, too.

AMY: Or you can make that ol' "boredom" go away by getting a _job_.

DARIA: _(Rolls her eyes:) Please_. After my _previous_ stint, a job is _not_ high on my boredom-busting list.

_(Note to reader: See "It Happened One Nut")_

AMY: Oh, yes, I'd heard that you had a bad experience. Maybe you can consider doing something more in your field.

DARIA: If you mean writing, I'm actually thinking about it, but for now, I'm gonna try and turn this boredom into relaxation by reading.

AMY: _(Laughing sound:)_ I see. Anyway, I'm glad we're able to get _past_ this, Daria. I'll call your mother later. Talk to you soon.

DARIA: _(Gives her Mona Lisa smile:)_ Same here, Amy. I'll tell my parents you called. _(Clicks off cell phone.)_

The doorbell rang, and Daria went to answer it. When she opened the door, _Tom_ was standing there, looking depressed.

DARIA: _(A little surprised, then frowns:)_ You missed Jane by a few days. Maybe if you'd start right _now_ in that _"thing" (motions her head to Tom's blue Pinto parked in front of the Morgendorffers)_ you call a _"car"_, you'll be able to catch her in a _week_ or so. I hear the desert is _nice_ this time of year.

TOM: _(A bit peeved:) Ha_, Daria. _Very_ amusing. Look, my clunker of a car gave out on my way over to Jane's, and by the time I finally got to her house, everyone was gone, the same at the airport. I was hoping she would have called me by _now_. You see, my answering machine is _broken_, so the only way I know if she called is for me to be there. _(Looking hopeful:)_ Has she called _you_?

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ No, Tom, she hasn't called me yet. She's probably way out in the middle of nowhere, and hasn't had the time. I'm sure she'll call you, so don't worry. _(Thought v.o.: --But I did tell Jane that you'd be at the airport waiting for her, so what do I know?)_

TOM: _(Looking regretful:)_ I wish I didn't laugh at her painting now. I should've known she'd get angry. Art is her _life_.

DARIA: Jane's life _imitates_ her art. In your case, when you laughed at _one_, you laughed at the _other_. I told her that if you weren't able to come to her house, you'd be at the airport, and I assumed that when she didn't see you there, Jane could've gotten angry all over _again_.

TOM: _(Frowns, perplexed:)_ What do you mean, _"again"_?

DARIA: She tried to call you at your house and wasn't able to reach you. Jane was getting over what happened with your portrait and wanted to make up with you.

TOM: _(Slaps hand on forehead:) Damn_, why haven't I gotten that answering machine fixed yet? Daria, if by _any_ chance Jane calls you because she's not able to reach me, would you _please_ get her to call me at _this_ time? _(Gets out a pencil and paper and writes the time down, gives the paper to Daria:)_ Thanks, I really appreciate it, I've got to get to work. _(Leaves)_

DARIA: _(Watches him go:)_ Yeah, sure. _(Thought v.o.: I'm now officially the human go-between. Maybe I can add buttons and a cord to my body and go into business. Nah, I'd be giving busy signals all the damn time--too unreliable.) (Shuts the door)_

_(Scene changes to the Appleton estate, the next day)_

Almost immediately after the reading of the non-business will, Darren rode in his limo to the local airport, slipping out past the media horde, and promptly boarded a private company jet. As soon as the jet began to leave the runway, Darren thought about how the way his parents died--on _another_ company jet. He shuddered, briefly wondering if the _same_ thing could happen to him, and then just as quickly putting it out of his mind. Darren turned his thoughts to what awaited him in California. He had talked briefly to Woo the night before, and had given Woo the information from the _"Truth"_ tape, and of when Darren's aunt and uncle first found out about Darren being adopted. Was Woo _trustworthy_, or would Woo go _behind_ his back and talk to Darren's uncle? Darren would have to ask him directly as soon as he saw Woo in Los Angeles.

The jet stopped over to refuel in Kansas City, then landed in Los Angeles later in the day. As Darren exited his jet and went into the terminal with a bag in hand, he saw a burly, bearded, cheerful-looking Chinese-American man smiling and waving curtly at him. Darren walked up to him and extended his hand to shake, to which the man responded in kind.

DARREN: _(Smiles, looking at the man cautiously:)_ I'm assuming that you're Mr. _Gerald Woo_?--

WOO: You are correct, Mr. Appleton, but just for the _record, (Reaches into his coat flap, and pulls out ID:)_ here are my credentials.

DARREN: _(After looking over Woo's ID, while feeling a bit foolish over Woo's straightforwardness:)_ Ah, yes, of course, and please call me Darren. _(Thought v.o.: He certainly is up front with his credentials. Uncle Will knows how to pick them.)_

WOO: Very well, Darren, and please call me _Woo. (Darren raises his eyebrow slightly, curious)_

DARREN: _(Smirks:)_ You don't like _"Gerald"_?

WOO: _(Grins:)_ Actually, I _hate_ the name "Gerald". I'm thinking about changing it--much too _plain_. I favor a more _fancy-sounding_ name, like _"Chauncey"_ or something. _(Walks with Darren, who glances at Woo in a strange way for a moment, to a waiting rental car outside:)_ Do you want me to take your bag?

DARREN: _(Distracted:)_ Hmm? Oh, no, I'm fine--I can handle it. My other bags are being taken to the hotel.

WOO: You are anxious to get started, I see. I have some news for you already.

DARREN: _(Genuinely surprised:) Already_? You work _fast_.

WOO: _(Smiles:)_ That is what you're _paying_ me for, Darren. I will tell you what I have found while driving to the hotel, where you can freshen up, them we can go from there.

Both men got into the rental car with Woo at the wheel. The car began to slowly pull out of its parking space and unto a nearby street.

WOO: You'd best prepare yourself for the news I'm about to tell you, Darren. Some of it is good, some bad.

DARREN: _(Frowns slightly:)_ Okay, Woo--the _bad_ news first.

WOO: Very well. The Barnes Adoption Agency went out of business _five_ years ago. There was a good reason it did--_(pauses:)_ it was a front for _black-market babies_. _(Darren looks stunned)_ On the _surface_, it was _legitimate_, but _underneath_, well, there was some alleged backroom _wheeling and dealing_.

DARREN: A-are you _saying_--

WOO: Yes. You might've been _sold illegally_ as a baby, Darren. _(Hesitates:)_ When you _think_ about it, _$50,000_ is a _hell_ of a lot of money to pay to get to the head of the line, which leads me to wonder if your parents _knew_ what they were getting into.

DARREN: _(Looks at Woo sharply, becoming angry:)_ Just what _are_ you getting at, Woo? Are you saying that my parents _knew_ that the agency was illegal, yet went on ahead and _"bought"_ me anyway? If you're going in _that_ direction--

WOO: _(Sounding in a placating voice:)_ No, no Darren! I'm simply stating that your parents, in their _desperation_ to get a baby, were a bit--_naive_ in their dealings with the agency. I've had several cases in which couples who couldn't have children of their own go through the same process, though none with this agency. In most of the cases, a lot of money was paid, but _no_ baby was produced. Your parents were quite fortunate they weren't _tricked_.

DARREN: _(Becoming calmer:)_ I guess--maybe the agency figured that when that much money was being offered up front, the persons they'd deal with were pretty _influential_, and they would do just about _anything_ to get the couple, my parents, _any_ baby.

WOO: Probably. Anyway, the police tried to break up the ring, but everyone scattered in _several_ directions. When they _did_ arrest some people, there was not enough evidence to convict. The parents who adopted the babies thought everything was on the up and up, at least on the surface, so they couldn't say anything to help the cops--

DARREN: --Hold it. If _that_ were the case--

WOO: _Why_ didn't the police contact your _parents_? I checked--they _did_. Your father said that he and his wife thought everything was legal, even with that $50,000 fee. After an investigation, it was decided _no_ laws were broken, and your parents were in the _clear_.

DARREN: _Whoa_. Wouldn't have the _media_ discovered what the police were doing or something?

WOO: Maybe--if the case wasn't kept under _wraps_. Your dad must've had a _lot_ of influence to keep something like this a secret.

DARREN: _(Narrows his eyes in deep thought, looks off into space:)_ Yeah--he had just about as much as my _uncle Will. (In a quiet voice:)_ In a way, it's almost--_scary_, having that much pull.

WOO: I suppose, but your father was considered to be a most _philanthropic_ man. Having the wealth can cut _"both"_ ways--_(pauses:) if_ you know what I mean.

DARREN: _(Frowns at Woo's implied meaning:)_ That's something I _don't_ want, Woo. I'd like to use my wealth in just _one_ way--the _right_ way. Maybe I'm being a little _naive_, but I believe that giving money is the way to make it a _better_ world for everyone--as long as it's not _wasted_ on something _unimportant_.

WOO: An--_admirable_ goal, Darren--_speaking_ of which, do you think you are wasting _your_ money _now_?

DARREN: _(Confused frown:)_ I don't _follow_ you, Woo.

WOO: _(Smiles:)_ I am speaking about the _burning_ question on your mind--_"Is Woo working for me or my uncle_?"

DARREN: _(Stunned:) H-how_ did you--

WOO: --_Figure_ it out? _(Chuckles:)_ I not only investigate the _cases_ my clients give me, Darren--I also investigate my _clients_, you know, to see if I'm being _used_ to cover up anything that my client might be hiding _from_ me, to do _wrong_? One can't be _too_ careful in my line of work. I found out quickly that you and your uncle were _not_ on the best of terms, that the word _"trust"_ doesn't register between the two of you. That is _quite_ interesting, especially since I have read in the paper of your _giving_ the Chairmanship of the Appleton Conglomerate to your uncle.

DARREN: _(Sighs:)_ You, my aunt Millie, and friend Curtis, and not to mention _most_ of Appleton as well, Woo. Well, I set aside the differences between my uncle and me for the _good_ of the company. He was the _most_ experienced person there. _(Frowns slightly at Woo, realizes:)_ Since you _"asked"_ the question, you can give me the _"answer"_ about working for my uncle.

The car, which had by now turned onto a nearby freeway, pulled onto the shoulder, and stopped.

WOO: _(Looks Darren in the eye, serious tone:)_ As I have said, Darren--I do _not_ want to be used to do _wrong_. If I even had an _inkling_ that your uncle was using me, no matter what _amount_ of money he offered to me--I would cut him _loose_ in an _instant_. I take great _pride_ in my work. Like your wanting to give money away in the right way, I wish to do my work in only one way--the _right_ way. I have my _honor_ and _reputation_ to consider. If you _still_ have any doubts as about whether or not to trust me, I will _give_ you _all_ of what I have found, recommend _other_ detectives I know for you, and then _go_.

Darren simply stared at Woo, dumbfounded for a moment, then he slowly smiled, and spoke in a sincere tone.

DARREN: Woo, I would be _honored_ to have you _stay_ on this case, and I am sorry to have even _brought up_ the question.

WOO: _(Breaks out into a smile:)_ You do not need to apologize, Darren--remember, in my line of work, one cannot be too careful. _(Drives car back unto the freeway:)_ Now, I believe you want the _good_ news--I know _where_ Doctor Turley is, and after you freshen up, we should _immediately_ go and visit him.

DARREN: _(Now with a concerned look on his face:)_ Why _immediately_, Woo?

WOO: Doctor Turley has _terminal_ cancer that started in his liver, Darren, and has spread throughout his body. He does not have much longer to live in this world, at best he may have a few days, or even _less_ to live.

DARREN: _(Reaches for his cell phone located in his bag:)_ In that case, we should go to Dr. Turley _right now_. I'll call the Zenith and tell them to hold the room for me later. _(Starts to punch in the numbers to the phone)_

WOO: Very well. Turley is still in Dumas, which is about 100 miles northeast of Los Angeles. We also have discovered that Turley had been in some _heavy gambling debts_ for years, even before he gave you away. Though even he had gotten _rid_ of them for awhile, the bug caught him _again_, and he built up his debts again.

DARREN: _(Shocked disbelief:) Oh my God_--he gave me away just so he could pay up his _debts_? _(Becomes angry:)_ How _sick_ is _that_? 

WOO: _(In a grim tone:)_ Such is the way of the world that you wish to make _better_, Darren. _(Darren gives Woo a thoughtful look)_ I suggest you get a nap before you meet the good doctor. We will be there in less than two hours.

DARREN: _(While laying back in the seat, closing his eyes:)_ There's _nothing_ good about that doctor, Woo.

WOO: Indeed. _(After a moment:)_ I am wondering--_how_ will you get Doctor Turley to tell you who your birth parent or parents are, whereas your father could _not_?

DARREN: _(After thinking for a moment:)_ I'm hoping for some sort of _"Last Confession"_ or something. You know, _"I'm dying, so to clear my conscience, I'm going to come clean with everything." (Shrugs:)_ Yeah, I know it's a _long_ shot, but that's the best thing I can think of, at least for now.

WOO: Perhaps it will work, Darren--let us _hope_.

About two hours later, the rental car drove into the parking lot of the _County General Hospital_ near Dumas. Darren and Woo got out and went into the hospital, where they went into the lobby and met a receptionist at the front desk. After checking the patient list, the receptionist told them to go to room 204 of the Terminal Care Ward, where dying patients spent their final days awaiting their fateful meeting with death. As both men walked into the hallway of the ward, there seemed to be a sense of _depression_ in the air, of _hopelessness_. The walls were a plain grayish-white, with no other colors on them. The steel blue doors projected a feeling of _finality_, as if to say, _"This is it. You have nothing more to look forward to--now die and get it over with."_ Even the doctors and nurses seemed _resigned_ to the fate of their patients, with monotone looks and conversations with one another. Darren glanced uneasily at Woo, who returned the _same_ look just as quickly. This was a place that did _not_ project cheerfulness or comfort for a patient in their final days.

Both men came to room 204, and walked quietly in. The depression carried itself into here as well, with the green drapes of the room shut tightly together, as if the sunlight had some _gall_ to dare try and shine itself through them. There was little to almost no light in the room as a result, save for a small, lighted lamp beside the bed, which illuminated a chair that was beside the bed. Darren and Woo's eyes came upon the horrible sight of _Turley_, who was lying in the bed, propped up. His skin seemed to be _deathly_ pale, and very wrinkled, with intravenous tubes running in his nose and arms. Turley's eyes looked yellowish and bloodshot, and they seemed to be _sunk_ into his face. He was breathing through a respirator, and a heart-monitoring machine was attached to him by sensors on his chest. Turley stared listlessly at the ceiling above both men.

DARREN: _(Looking aghast:)_ Uh--um--Hugo Turley? Doctor Turley?

For a moment, Turley didn't seem to respond to Darren's question. Darren glanced at Woo and was about to ask again when Turley looked directly at Darren, who promptly _froze_. Turley's stare seemed to go _through_ him, giving Darren the chills, as if death _itself_ were looking at him. Turley then began to speak, suddenly sounding surprisingly _clear_, even with a breathing mask over his mouth.

TURLEY: _(Tired-sounding voice, cynical:)_ If you're here for the collection payments from me, I'm all tapped out. Maybe you can get something from my life insurance agency, but leave my family the _hell_ alone.

DARREN: _(Recovering:)_ No, Doctor Turley, we're with no collection agency or nothing like that. I've come to ask you about a baby that you delivered about twenty years ago. _(Motions to Woo, who's standing beside him:)_ This is a private detective that I've hired named Gerald Woo, and my name is Darren Appleton. I have reason to believe from Mr. Woo's investigations that _I_ was that baby.

TURLEY: _(Eyes narrowing:) Appleton_? _(Looks up at the ceiling as if to search his memory:)_ You mean, as in _Arthur_ Appleton?

DARREN: _(Looking hopeful:)_ Yes, sir. I'm his and Lucille Appleton's--_adopted_ son. Arthur is my _first_ name, and I was named of course after my father. To keep from there being _confusion_, my family and friends call me by my _middle_ name, Darren, which I actually _prefer_, while people _outside_ of my family and friends call me _"Arthur"_, officially.

Turley stared at Darren and Woo for a moment, surprised. He then did something that shocked both men: he began to _laugh_.

DARREN: _(Frowns:)_ I'm sorry, I don't get the _joke_.

TURLEY: _(Still laughing:)_ Y-yes, I _definitely_ remember now. Your parents paid _$50,000_ to get you. Well, son, I don't see _what_ you're _complaining_ about. You've got it _made_ with all of your money. Why in the _hell_ would you want to find your _real_ parents?

DARREN: _(Glares at Turley:)_ Because my _"real"_ mother gave me _birth_. Is _that_ reason enough for you?

TURLEY: _(Now smirks:)_ Actually, I don't really give a _damn_ either way or the other son, about your reasons. I've got _my_ family to think about.

DARREN: _(Still glaring:)_ At least you _have_ your family to think about. My parents are _gone_, both adoptive _and_ birth.

TURLEY: _(Now looks away, suddenly grows quiet:)_ Oh, _right_, I heard about the plane crash. _(Pauses:)_ Well, that's _tough_, son. I mean, I'm gonna die like them soon, so that's _life_. You don't have money problems like my family's going to have _after_ I die, so you don't understand. I mean, when the bills come in, _who's_ going to pay for them?

DARREN: _(Suddenly gets an idea:)_ How about if _I_ do? _(Woo looks at Darren, surprised) Who_ is your immediate family? _(Takes out a checkbook from his pocket, begins to write)_

TURLEY: _(Looking a bit shocked:)_ Uh, well, my wife Martha and my daughter, _Cassie_, who's married and has three children. I'm in the hole more than _$650,000. (Woo gives himself a quiet whistle, awed at the amount of the debt Turley owes)_ The _I.R.S._ has threatened to foreclose on our home, and I know they'll put my debts on my _wife_ after I'm gone.

Just as Darren was finishing writing the check, a small, white-haired old woman came in with a tray of food. The woman had a _haggard_ look on her face, a look that quickly turned into a _scowl_ when she saw Darren and Woo standing beside Turley's bed.

WOMAN: _(Becoming angry:)_ How _dare_ you come in here and _harass_ my husband? He's ill and you're still trying to get _money_ from him!? If you don't get out right _now_--

TURLEY: _(Weakly holds up his hand:)_ --It's all right, _Martha_. These men are here to _pay_ us money, _not_ take any. They're from er--_(looks a bit panicked, motions subtly at Darren and Woo to say something)_

WOO: --The _life insurance agency_, ma'am. Your husband is--er, _cashing out_ his policy. As you can see, my uh--_"partner"_ here has a check to give to him. _(Darren holds up the check)_

MARTHA: _(Stunned, puts hand on chest:)_ I--I don't know _what_ to say. I'm--_sorry_ for my outburst. We've been under a bit of strain these past several months. May I _see_ the amount?

DARREN: _(Reluctant:)_ Er, certainly. _(Gives Martha the check)_

Martha looked at the check and her eyes bulged out, and her hands began to _tremble_.

MARTHA: _(Eyes lighting up:) My goodness_! This check is for _one million dollars_!

TURLEY: _(Shocked with Woo:)_ It _is_? I mean, _of course_ it is! _(Now smug:)_ I told you, dear, that you didn't have to worry about anything! _(Pauses:)_ Now, if you'll excuse us, honey, these gentleman and I have to, um--_(motions to both men again)_

DARREN: --Er, _close out the deal_, ma'am. We just have to talk about _lingering arrangements_, you know, that sort of thing.

MARTHA: _(Nods her head in an understanding manner:)_ Oh, of course, I see. _(Begins to give back check)_

DARREN: _(Holds his hands up:)_ No ma'am, that's _your_ money now.

MARTHA: Yes, you're right, what was I--_(looks at check again, narrows eyes:) --wait a minute_. This check is from an _Arthur Appleton Jr._, not from a life insurance company. _(Looks angrily at her husband:)_ Hugo, what in the _hell_ is going on here? _(Turley looks terrified)_

DARREN: _(Steps up:)_ Ma'am, I--

MARTHA: _(Cuts him off and staring up at him, eye-to-eye, takes another look at the check:)_--Are you this--"Arthur Appleton Jr.", young man?

DARREN: _(Pauses:)_ Yes ma'am, but I go by my middle name Darren.

MARTHA: I see. _(Pauses:) Why_ did you and--_(motions to Woo)_

WOO: --Gerald Woo, ma'am--

MARTHA: --"Gerald Woo", _lie_? I know that my husband has lied _many_ times, but why did _you_ do it?

Darren and Woo looked at each other, and then at Turley, who looked uneasily away.

DARREN: _(Decides to come clean:)_ Mrs. Turley, I'm sorry for lying to you. You see, my parents were killed in a plane crash a few days ago, and then I discovered that they had adopted me via your husband. I hired Mr. Woo here to find my birth parents. Woo found out that your husband was part of--a--well---um--_(becomes hesitant, looks at Turley)_

MARTHA: --It's all right, dear. _(She speaks softly now:)_ I thought that name sounded _familiar_--and I'm _sorry_ for your loss. _(Glares at her now-unconfortable husband:)_ I know all about the illegal adoptions, for I found out about them two years ago. My husband came clean with me on them when he found out he was first diagnosed with cancer, and after the police had questioned him on his connections to the Barnes Adoption Agency. _(Smirks:)_ He told the police that he had done _nothing_ wrong concerning the adoptions, and they had no solid evidence in any case, just _allegations_ of wrongdoing. I could see that he _lied. (Pauses:)_ You see, my husband had a _"thing"_ for gambling. After all, he's lied to me about it for _years_, and I can tell now when he does lie about _anything_. You _name_ it--racing horses and dogs, craps, slot machines, sports games, etc. I only wonder how the man I married could be an obstetrician _and_ a gambler? _Quite_ a _combination_, eh? I didn't leave him or turn him in right then and there because I guess I _still_ loved him. _(Laughs bitterly, looks angrily at her husband:)_ Oh yes, let's not forget about all of those _phone bills_ you ran up between your patient's visits. _(Sneers:)_ You were calling in _bets_, right, dear? _(Turley closes his eyes as if he is in pain, and not just from his illness) (Martha looks over to Woo:)_ But I'm sure Mr. Woo here knows all about the gambling debts already, _right? (Woo nods slowly)_ Good. _(Looks back to her husband, eyes full of contempt:)_ If only you knew about the _hell_ he put our daughter and me through--

TURLEY: _(Laughs uneasily:)_ --Now, Martha, I'm sure these gentlemen don't want to hear about _our_ family--

MARTHA: _(In a cold tone:)_ --No, Hugo, they _don't_. This young man wants to hear about _his_ family--you know--the one you _took_ from him?

DARREN: Uh, pardon me, but I thought my birth mother _didn't_ want me. I just wanted to find her and say I was--_(sighs:) okay_.

MARTHA: _(Glares at her husband:)_ Is that _true_, Hugo? Did this young man's mother _not_ want him?

Turley became silent for a moment, then looked sadly at his wife and Darren.

TURLEY: Well, uh-- _(looks reluctantly at Darren, pauses, then speaks:)_ You see, son, your birth parents think you're--_dead. (Darren, Woo, and Martha look stunned)_ Maybe you'd better sit down. _(Darren does so reluctantly in the chair beside the bed)_ Look, you've _got_ to understand that at the time, I needed some _quick_ cash, and when your birth parents came to me in the middle of the night, it was an unbelievable stroke of _luck. (Turley's wife frowns at him, Turley notices:)_ Aw, _crap_, honey, I wish you wouldn't _look_ at me that way. Just--just let me _explain_--


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3-Establishing Connections

As the sun was setting, the rental car containing Woo and Darren made its way back down the freeway to Los Angeles. Woo, while at the wheel, kept sneaking _concerned_ glances at Darren, who looked as if he could _murder_ someone.

WOO: You're _sure_ you're all right, Darren?

DARREN: _(Glares at Woo, snappy response:)_ For the _one-hundreth_ time, Woo, _YES I AM, DAMN IT! (Looks suddenly remorseful, lays head back in seat and closes his eyes in pain:)_--I-I'm _sorry_ I snapped at you, Woo. _(Puts hand on forehead:) Oh God_, I feel as if my life has _fallen apart_. I can't believe what that _slime_ Turley told me, and then _losing_ my temper like that, and _then_ I--

WOO: _(Cuts him off:)_ --It's okay, Darren. _Anyone_ would've reacted the way you did when you heard what Turley said. Hell, _I_ was tempted to go after him _myself_. But look--at least you know _who_ your birth parents are now. You can tell them you're _alive_. I'm going to call my office and see if I can get the ball rolling on finding them. _(Picks up cell phone and begins to call:)_ After we visit the _cemetery_, I'll drop you off at the Zenith and you can rest up, and the first thing in the morning, we'll go to my office and see if something came up. I guess you'll probably want to call back at your home once we get back to the hotel. _(Is silent for a moment, then speaks again:)_ That was really a very _generous_ thing you did in allowing Mrs. Turley to _keep_ that money, and her agreeing not to tell anyone about your being there was just as generous.

DARREN: _(Looks out the window while still lying back in the seat, in a bitter low voice:)_ Yeah, thanks. It wasn't _her_ fault that her husband is a piece of _sub-human filth_. I mean, why should _she_ have to pay for what _he_ did? _(Looks up ahead:)_ Woo, _there's_ the exit Turley told us about.

The car turned off of the freeway and went down a country road for about five miles. It came to a tiny, abandoned cemetery that was surrounded by an open field. Darren got out of the car alone and went down a small embankment that lead to it, and saw that weeds had grown over almost all of the markers. A gentle breeze filled the air, blowing the weeds. Darren proceeded to carefully look for a particular marker. He cautiously pushed the weeds away from each marker until he came to a very small one, the one he was looking for, near the edge of the cemetery. He looked at the stone marker and put his finger on it, narrowing his eyes to get a better look at it in the approaching twilight. He cursed himself for not having a flashlight, but he could see the inscription on the marker clear enough. Darren took on a sad visage at the message:

_**To the son we never knew-**_

_**always know that we loved you.**_

_**-Jake and Helen Morgendorffer**_

_(Scene changes to the Appleton estate, about two-and-a-half hours later)_

As Elenor came into the study to ask if Millie wanted anything before Elenor went to bed, she heard the phone ring. Millie was reading _The Diary of Anne Frank_ and got the phone, waving Elenor off.

MILLIE: Appleton residence.

VOICE: Aunt Millie?

MILLIE: _(Eyes light up:) Darren_, is that _you_? Where are you, and why hadn't you called earlier?

DARREN: _(Quietly chuckles:)_ I'm sorry about that, Aunt Millie--it's been a _long_ day. I'm calling from the Zenith, and I--found out _who_ my birth parents are.

About this time, the front door rang, and Elenor went to see who it was. Millie looked at Elenor leave for the door.

DARREN: _(Pauses:)_ Aunt Millie? Hello? Are you there?

MILLIE: Sorry, Darren, the doorbell rang and I was distracted for a moment. _(Shocked:)_ Did you say that you found out who your birth parents are? Are they _alive_? Who--

DARREN: --I don't know if they are, Aunt Millie. Look, I'll tell you more about it tomorrow. For now, I'm tired and hungry. I'm going to eat, and then get some sleep. I'll call you tomorrow and leave a message, Auntie. Goodbye. _(Hangs up curtly)_

MILLIE: _(Surprised look on her face:) Darren_? Hello, Darren?

William and Elenor walked into the study to hear the end of Millie's call.

WILLIAM: _(Looking "concerned":)_ Millie, was that _Darren_? _What_ did he say? _Where_ is he at? 

MILLIE: _(Clicks off the cell phone, looking perplexed with a frown on her face:)_ He's at the Zenith Hotel, William. He sounded a bit--_strained_. He said he found out who his birth parents are.

WILLIAM: _(Genuinely stunned along with Elenor:)_ He _did_? _That_ fast? Who are they?

MILLIE: He didn't say, William. He said he'll tell me about it tomorrow.

WILLIAM: _(While hiding his disappointment:)_ I see. Well, I just stopped by on my way from a late night at work to see if you heard anything from Darren. I guess I wasted my time coming up here. Look, let me know when Darren calls. I'm as--_worried_ about his welfare as you are. _(Laughs uneasily:)_ That P.I. I hired really works _quick_, eh? _(Elenor rolls her eyes)_

MILLIE: _(Looking distracted:)_ --What?--I suppose, William. I hope nothing's _wrong_ with Darren. _(Looks at her watch:)_ William, it's almost _midnight_! You came up here from _New York City_ just to ask about Darren? Why didn't you just _call_?

WILLIAM: _(Looks amused, waves Millie off:) Relax_, Millie--I took the _helicopter_. It's just a _forty minute_ ride from the city up to here, and it's _waiting_ for me now on the helipad.

MILLIE: _(Raised eyebrow:)_ Isn't that a bit _much_, William?

WILLIAM: _(While leaving, chuckles:)_ Nothing that we _rich_ people can't afford _not_ to do, dear sister. Be sure to keep me informed about our nephew. Don't bother seeing me out, Elenor. _(Elenor looks relieved she doesn't have to)_

ELENOR: _(Looks back at Millie, concerned:)_ Do you think Master Darren is all right, Mistress Millie? Forgive me for saying so, but for _some_ reason, I have the _impression_ that you're _worried_ about him.

MILLIE: _(Resigned look on her face:)_ I _am,_ Elenor, but I'm sure that _whatever_ it is, Darren will be able to handle it. _(Thought v.o.: For someone who just found out who his birth parents are, Darren didn't sound too happy. I just hope this is something he really wants to do.)_

William sprinted out to the helicopter on the helipad near the mansion and climbed in. He looked a bit _agitated_, a look that didn't escape Benny, who was waiting in the helicopter with the pilot.

WILLIAM: _(To the pilot:)_ Take us back to the helipad on top of the Appleton Tower, pilot.

PILOT: Yessir, Mr Appleton. _(The helicopter lifts off)_

BENNY: _(Raising his voice high enough to be heard over the helicopter's noise, but low enough for the pilot not to hear:)_ Boss, you look a little _worried_. Did something happen concerning Darren and his _(snickering:) "real"_ parents?

WILLIAM: _(In the same level of tone as Benny, watching the pilot:)_ Yes, Benny, and it may _not_ be good for us. Woo apparently did one _hell_ of a job in finding the names of my _"nephew's"_ birth parents, and _before_ you ask, I didn't get their names. I was hoping it would take awhile for Darren to make any sort of contact with them, but it looks like he could _soon_.

BENNY: _(Grins sinisterly:)_ Boss, I could do _something_ to _slow_ him down--

WILLIAM: _(Sharply:) No_. I don't want you to do _anything_. If my _"nephew"_ is as smart as I _think_ he is, he could suspect something _amiss_, and put me at the _top_ of his list. We'll do _nothing_ for now. _(Grins, gets an idea:)_ Now when I _think_ about it, if anything, this may _help_ us even more. Darren's finding his parents _sooner_ rather than later could keep him occupied with getting to know them sooner, and maybe _longer_. Who knows? Maybe he'll even become _so_ attached to them, he'll let me _have_ the company _outright_, wanting to _stay_ with his _"real family". (Smirks:)_ Why, I'd probably feel so happy, I'd even consider _allowing_ Darren to _live_.

BENNY: _(Looks slightly depressed at this last remark, then raises an eyebrow:)_ And _if_ he finds them and they _don't_ want him or vice versa?--

WILLIAM: _(Frowns:)_ --Then, Benny, we may have to move _up_ our timetable on eliminating my _"nephew"_, investigation or no investigation. I'm _sure_ Darren would want to _meddle_ in company business if things don't work out for him, and that simply won't do, oh, no, _I think not_. For _his_ sake, he'd _better_ get to know them _real_ well when--or _if_ he finds them.

_(The Morgendorffer residence, the following morning:)_

Helen and Jake were preparing to go to work, while Daria , who was eating cereal, and Quinn, who was eating a grapefruit, sat at the kitchen table and watched them. Both Morgendorffer sisters were still in their nightclothes.

_(Note to reader: Daria's nightclothes here are her regular blue t-shirt and yellow shorts. She also has the "Mark Twain" pullover pajama shirt from the episode "Lane Miserables". Quinn's nightclothes are what she wore in "The Big House" episode, a yellow pullover pajama shirt, with a pink bunny on the front)_

HELEN: _(While getting her briefcase:)_ Daria! Quinn! Why don't you put on some _regular_ clothing? Surely you two aren't going to _stay_ dressed like that _all day_ while your father and I are gone?

DARIA: _(Sarcastic deadpan, of course:)_ Oh, I don't know, Mom--I'm thinking of _going out_ dressed like this. _(Looks at Quinn, smirks:)_ It's the _new style_, you know.

QUINN: _(Panicked, holds both hands to the side of her face:)_ It _is_? OH, NO! I gotta check in my newest issue of _Waif_ magazine on this! _(Talks to herself:) Damn it_, Sandi, why didn't you tell me? _(Rushes away from the table)_

HELEN: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Quinn, Daria was just--oh, why do I even _bother_? _(Daria smirks at this)_ Daria, promise me that you'll not tease your sister mercilessly _again_ while we're at work.

DARIA: Hey, I gotta do _something_ to relieve my boredom, but, okay, Mom. If Quinn starts _something_, however, all bets are _off_. _(Sinister smile:)_ Then it's every gal for _herself. (Resumes eating)_

Before Helen could respond to this, Jake ran into the kitchen. He was still tying his necktie, and at the same time getting some coffee. He promptly spilled the hot coffee on his ankles.

JAKE: OWWW! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! Stupid coffee! _Wellnotimetochangesocksandshoes!Gottagettoworkandtalktoanewclient! I'llpickupsomethingontheway!Goodbyedear!(Kisses Helen:) Seeyakiddo! TellQuinnIsaidbye!(Grabs briefcase, rushes out the door, starts up Lexus, and is gone, screeching tires in the process, and is heard in the distance, "Get the hell out the way, you wreckless bastards!")_

Daria and Helen simply looked at each other, speechless for a moment.

DARIA: Dad has just broken his own _record. (Pulls out a pad and pencil, begins to write--see this also on "The Misery Chick")_ Let's see now--compared to _yesterday_, there's a difference of--

HELEN: _(Sighs, sits down at the table:)_ --Daria, please. _(Daria stops writing)_ What are you going to do today, sweetie?

DARIA: _(While eating her cereal:)_ I'll probably go to the library again, or just watch some _Sick, Sad World_ on TV, or go up in my room and scheme to do some _evil_. Hell, who _knows_? My plate's _quite_ full today. _(Raises an eyebrow:)_ Uh--Mom, why aren't you _scampering_ to work like Dad? Usually, you'd be _gone_ by now.

HELEN: _(While eating a cold Pop Tart:)_ Believe it or not, Daria, the workload at the firm is a bit _light_ today, with most everyone out for vacation. I can come in a _little_ late.

DARIA: Ripley, eat your _tart_ out.

HELEN: _(Quietly:)_ Actually, I wanted to use this time to _thank you_, Daria.

DARIA: _(Startled slightly:) Huh_? What do you mean?

HELEN: _(Finishes eating Pop Tart:)_ Daria, ever since you saw your friend Jane and her mother Amanda off, you've been here for your father and me when we needed you for _anything_. I'd guess you were _worried_ about how we were after telling you and Quinn about losing the baby. Honey, _thank you_ for not holding that _against_ us, and talking to Quinn about the baby, even with a--_(looks for words:) "financial incentive". (Helen smiles at Daria with a loving look)_

DARIA: _(Becoming uncomfortable:)_ Er, Mom, don't get the _wrong_ idea, here. I was _bored_, and Jane is gone on her vacation with her mom. Usually, I'd be somewhere else with her, and _not_ here, okay?

HELEN: _(Smirks, gives a "Yeah, sure, right, if you say so" look:)_ Whatever you _say_, dear. Speaking of vacations, your father and I want to get with you and Quinn and talk about going to the mountains or the beach tonight over dinner. We'll both be off for next week. Do you have _any_ ideas?

DARIA: _(In her deadpan mode:)_ How about we just stay here and _pretend_ we're in _both_ places at once? It can really save on fuel costs. We can get one of those large _posters_ of the beach and of the mountains, some of those fifty-pound bags of sand, and those _phony_ boulders that those movie studios use, and we can put them in the _living room_ and--

HELEN: _(Sighs, getting up:) --Goodbye_, Daria. There's frozen microwavable lasagna in the freezer for you and Quinn for lunch. _(Smiles:)_ Thank you _again_, sweetie. _(Leaves out the front door)_

Daria stared at the door, and then frowned for a moment.

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: Damn it, Daria, you're getting **soft**. First your family, then Jane and Tom. You gotta get back your hard edge. I hope I can hold out till Jane gets back. If I don't, I'll go crazy and start smiling and wanting to be with my family, which just won't do, no siree bob. What can I do in the meantime to get back my edge--?)_

Daria's thoughts were interrupted by an angry Quinn entering the kitchen and waving the current issue of _Waif_ magazine around.

QUINN: _(Frowns:) DAMN IT, DARIA_! I don't see _anything_ in here about wearing nightclothes outside the house! You _lied_ to me! You _brains_ have nothing else better to do than _ruin_ us beautiful _and_ popular people! _(In a disgusted voice:)_ God, Daria, you're such a _loser_!

DARIA: _(Gets a sinister smirk on her face, thought v.o.: **That's** the ticket!)_ Why, Quinn--are you trying to _start_ something with me? _(Begins to walk toward Quinn, cracking her knuckles:)_ I _do_ hope you are. _(Quinn turns pale, and begins to back up in fear from the approaching menace that is her sister Daria)_

_(The front of the Zenith Hotel, Los Angeles, about three hours later:)_

The rental car Woo drove came in front of the regal-looking Zenith Hotel, driving around a circular driveway that surrounded a spectacular, marbled, tall, and rounded three-level water fountain with a statue in the middle. The statue was of two winged lions that were face-to-face, poised on their hind legs, with the water shooting through their mouths. The car stopped at the foot of the hotel's rounded steps, where there was a doorman waiting alongside Darren, who was carrying a small briefcase. The doorman opened the car's door and Darren got in, then the car drove off.

WOO: Good morning, Darren. _(Whistles:)_ That's _some_ place you're staying at. What's the rate _per night_ again?

DARREN: _(Sighs, sounding resigned, even looking a little embarassed:)_ Good morning, Woo, and it cost a _thousand_. I wish my uncle Will would've chosen a _less-expensive_ place. The _last_ thing I need is to draw attention to myself.

WOO: Well, I guess your uncle is _used_ to that sort of living away from home. Look, I've got some _great_ news that'll _cheer_ you up.

DARREN: _(Looking very hopeful:)_ What's up? Are my birth parents _alive_?

WOO: _(Grins:)_ Yes, Darren. Helen and Jake Morgendorffer _are_ alive, and live in a place called _Lawndale_, a suburban town. I'll tell you more about it in my office. You also better brace yourself--you have _two younger sisters_.

DARREN: _(Shocked, wide-eyed:) I--have--two--_

WOO: _(Still grinning:) --Younger_ sisters, Darren--_full-blooded_ younger sisters.

Darren sat back in the seat, shellshocked, simply staring forward wordlessly. Woo smirked slightly, and said nothing. Neither man said anything else the rest of the way to Woo's office, only twenty minutes from the hotel by the Santa Monica Freeway. The car came up to a rather plain-looking, two-story, red brick building in a quiet, well-to-do neighborhood of turn-of-the-century homes. The windows were tinted in a green hue, as were the front glass doors, which read _Woo Private Detective Agency_ in white letters. There was a small lawn in the front, with the grass freshly cut. Beyond the lawn was a sidewalk. Woo parked the car in the very front, and both men got out. Darren stared at the building for a moment, then spoke.

DARREN: Hmm--not bad, Woo. This looks like a _nice_ place.

WOO: _(Chuckles:)_ If you say _"nice"_ by meaning _"plain"_, then I accept your _compliment_.

DARREN: _(Trying to sound apologetic:)_ Oh, no, Woo, I meant it looks _really_ nice. _(Pauses:)_ Actually, I kind of expected--well--_(voice fades off)_

WOO: _(Laughs:)_ --I believe the word you're looking for is _"dump"_, and I can't blame you for _thinking_ that. Most of my clients think of those _dime store novels_ in which we detectives are _gumshoes_ who work in a _run down office_ that has a ceiling fan, and junked-up furniture. Don't feel too bad, Darren, for you _won't_ be the last person I expect to have that stereotypical image of my field.

DARREN: _(Looks back at the building:)_ I'm curious Woo--this seems to be an awfully _large_ place for what you do. You're _not_ the only one working here, I assume---?

WOO: Oh, no, Darren. I have a secretary, and _five_ people that work under me. Right now, only my secretary is here. The rest are out in the field, two here in the L.A. area, and three elsewhere in the country, all of them working on _other_ cases. They call in every few hours to report in.

Both men went into the reception area, and Darren's eyes lit up almost immediately. The interior brick walls were almost covered with plaques and memorabilia, such as glass cases that contained an old gun and a knife, and a picture of _Basil Rathbone_ as _Sherlock Holmes_. There were African warrior spears and a medivial sword on the wall as well. The carpet was a bright green, with matching lime-colored couches and chairs. Darren looked somewhat awestruck at the walls for a moment more, then turned back to Woo.

DARREN: _(Smirks:)_ Definitely nice _inside_ as well as outside, Woo. I _am_ impressed.

WOO: _(Smiles, with a slight nod:)_ Thank you very much, Darren--_I_ did the decorating. _(Looks around:)_ Where is my secretary, _Carla_?

At that moment, an apparently early-twentyish, attractive blond woman, with a look of intense concentration on an arm full of about fifteen files she was carrying, came out to meet both men from the back.

CARLA: _(While looking down at straightening her files:)_ I'm sorry, Woo, I was in the file room and I didn't hear you.

WOO: That's okay, Carla. This is that client of mine, Darren Appleton. You can call him Darren.

CARLA: _(Looks up and sees Darren, stunned, tries to shift her files around in her arms to shake Darren's hand:)_ Hello, Darren, um--

DARREN: _(Smiles, holding up his hands:)_ --Hey, that's all right, Carla, you don't have to try to shake my hand. I can see you're kind of--_busy_. Ah, do you need any _help_ with those files--?

CARLA: _(Still looking at Darren, this time a bit more on the dreamy side:)_ Oh, um, that's okay, Darren. _(Walks up to him:)_ Did you want coffee or something for breakfast? I could--

DARREN: _(Looking a bit confused:)_ --Oh, er, well, I just ate breakfast at the hotel. That's okay.

WOO: _(Smiling while walking, followed by Darren:)_ Just coffee for me, Carla, black. Hold all my calls, I'll be in the conference room.

CARLA: Yes, Woo--_(glances at Darren again:)_ do you want me to take _any_ notes? If you need me to go through the Appleton files I laid on the table in the conference room for you, I can.

WOO: _(After letting Darren into the room first:)_ That's quite all right, Carla--_(then mutters while shutting the door and chuckling:)_ for _some_ reason, I don't think you'd get _much_ writing or filing done. _(Carla mockingly glares at him, then smirks)_

Darren was directed by Woo to a small room, eight-foot by ten-foot, connected to Woo's office. It was indeed a conference room, complete with a rectangular table full of documents associated with Darren's case. Both men sat down to go over the information Woo had acquired. The room was sparse, save for the table and two chairs, and a small serving table beside the rectangular table. There was a small window and a potted cactus plant in the corner of the room, with downtown Los Angeles in the distance.

WOO: As you can see, Darren, this is my conference room. I use it to lay out all of my client's casework when I talk with one. I don't like to use my office to confer with a client because it's too small, and it tends to _intimidate_ them. _(Frowns for a moment, contemplating:)_ Strange as it seems, I think the reason is that my office may be a bit too _sterile_ in appearance because there's no window in there. I'm thinking of knocking down the wall that connects the two, and doing a complete redecoration.

DARREN: _(Shrugs:)_ Whatever your _fancy_, Woo--if you can do to this room to what was done to the reception area, I think you'll do okay.

WOO: Ah, thank you, Darren. Now to your birth parents--

There was a knock at the door, and Carla came into the room with a tray of coffee, with sugar and creme, and bagels. She stole a quick glance at Darren and then put the tray on the serving table.

CARLA: I know you didn't ask for the bagels, Woo, but I thought you and Darren might get a little hungry, just in case. _(She stares at Darren again, this time a little longer)_

WOO: _(While shuffling some papers:)_ Why, thank you, Carla.

DARREN: _(Looking a bit confused at Carla's staring:)_ Uh, yes, thank you, Carla.

CARLA: _(Still staring at Darren:)_ Will that be all for now, Woo?

WOO: _(Now looking up, noticing Carla's staring:)_ Yes, Carla. If I need you, I'll call.

CARLA: _(Slowly tearing away her look from Darren:)_ Um, okay. _(Leaves and shuts the door, taking a quick last glance at Darren)_

DARREN: _(Hesitant to speak, with a perplexed frown:)_ Woo, was it my _imagination_, or--_(pointing his thumb back at the door)_

WOO: --No, Darren. _(Smirks:)_ I think my secretary has something of a _crush_ on you. _(Pauses:)_ Now when I think about it, I suspect she is _not_ the only one. It appears that some women find you _quite_ handsome.

DARREN: _(Genuinely shocked:)_ You're--_kidding_!

WOO: Nope. You didn't notice that when we were at the airport, some of the females walking by were _staring_ at you? It didn't even occur to me until Carla's staring at you. Then again, I _am_ a detective, and I should've _noticed_ these things. I hope she didn't _embarass_ you.

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ No, not at all, Woo. I suppose I should be _flattered_. I haven't really been with _any_ girl since _Steph--(stops with a slightly pained look, then glances down to the files:)_ can we er, get to what you found, Woo?

WOO: _(After a pause, quietly:)_ Of course, Darren. Helen Barksdale and Jake Morgendorffer were married on June 26, 1975, when they just got out of _Middleton College_. Beforehand, they apparently were part of the _hippie_ culture, wondering around the country before they started to get _serious_ about life, and became part of the _"establishment". (Looks at files, puts a finger on a map and begins to trace it:)_ Your birth parents moved from--_here_--to Dumas in 1979. Both of your birth parents were five years removed from Middleton College, and your birth mother had just come out of four years of law school, working her own way through by being an _intern_ at a local law firm. Your birth father worked at a _consulting firm_, then went with your birth mother out to Dumas and started his _own_ consulting firm, which promptly _struggled_ at the time, while she took a job at the _Pembrooke law firm_ in Dumas.

DARREN: _(Reminiscent look on face:)_ Say, I briefly _considered_ going to Middleton, but I heard that their academic standards had gone _down_ in recent years. Eastward had a _superior_ Business Administration degree program.

WOO: _(Laughs:)_ Perhaps you'd better not _tell_ your birth parents about their alma mater that way, or they might _not_ want to meet you.

DARREN: _(In a quiet tone, looking out the window:) Who's_ to say that they will _want_ to at all, Woo? It's going to one _hell_ of a shock to them when, or even _if_, I tell them. _(Pauses:)_ I think I will have some of that coffee, Woo. _(Pours some coffee for himself)_

WOO: _(Surprised:)_ You _don't_ know if you'll tell them now? What happened to maybe make you _change_ your mind? _(Eats a bagel)_

DARREN: _(Still looks out the window, frowning:)_ I really can't explain it--all I know is just that I _couldn't_ sleep last night, Woo. I kept wondering if I'm doing the _right_ thing. I mean, what right do _I_ have to simply walk into their lives and say, _(talks in a mocking tone:) "Hi, I'm the son you should've had, but you thought had died. Let's talk! So what have you been doing these past twenty years? Oh, really? Me? Well, I've been living another life and all, thanks to a doctor who sold me to get out of his gambling debts. See ya! We'll do lunch, okay?" (Then he talks in a quiet tone:)_ Maybe I should let sleeping dogs _lie_, go off somewhere to think where do I go from here, and then get _on_ with my life. I don't know these people at _all_, they might _not_ want to meet me.

WOO: _(After a pause:)_ Darren, what you decide in the end is up to _you_. But I think you're being a bit too _hard_ on yourself. At the least, perhaps they _should_ have the right to know that you're _alive_. From what I have gathered, your birth family is _still_ together and could very well be a very loving, _close-knit_ family. They may want to reach _out_ to you. You sound like you have _cold feet_, a feeling of fear of _rejection_, which I might add, is perfectly _normal_ to have. _Imagine_ what your birth parents may have felt when they thought you had _died_, the terrible _trauma_, the feeling of _helplessnes_. If they see you _now_, all of that might go _away_, to be replaced with _joy, delight, and relief_. Do you really want to _deny_ them the opportunity to find out what _THEY_ feel, to deny yourself the opportunity of what _YOU_ feel when, or if, you see them?

Darren stayed silent for a moment, narrowing his eyes at Woo, deep in thought, then he spoke in a determined tone.

DARREN: Okay, Woo, I've come _this_ far, so I might as well hear you out.

WOO: _(Grins:)_ Excellent, Darren. Now--_(going back to the map:)_ after what your birth parents thought of as a miscarriage, they moved to _Highland, Texas_ about three weeks later. I suspect they wanted to leave what they thought were _terrible_ memories of what happened in Dumas behind, as well as your birth mother getting an offer from the _Henderson law firm_ there.

DARREN: Pretty good _timing_ that the offer came then, don't you think? Hmm--_Highland, Texas_--that place sounds _familiar--_

WOO: I believe that was the place where _uranium_ was found in the drinking water.

DARREN: _(Snaps his fingers:)_ Ah, yes, _now_ I remember.

WOO: Anyway, while your birth mother joined the Henderson law firm, your birth father finally began to see the fruits of his consulting pay off, for he began to _make_ money. They then had another child, to them the _first_ one, a daughter who was named _Daria_. A year-and-a-half later, they had another daughter named _Quinn_. Daria is 17, and Quinn is now 15 1/2, but Quinn will be having her birthday in another _month_ or so, while Daria's will be a few months after her sister.

DARREN: _(Chuckles, a little excited:) Daria and Quinn_, eh? I have two _little_ sisters! Do you have any _pictures_ of my birth family, Woo?

WOO: Just a picture of your birth parents from their Middleton days that I scanned off of the Internet. Be warned--it's a _bit_ fuzzy. _(Pulls out picture from file and gives it to Darren)_

DARREN: _(Looks hard at the picture, frowns at it, tries to focus:) "Bit"_, nothing, Woo--_"very"_ is more like it. I can _barely_ make out their faces.

WOO: _(Shrugs while drinking coffee:)_ Sorry, Darren. I'm trying to get more pictures of them, but it could take another day or two. I'll try to get them to you should you decide to meet your birth parents.

DARREN: _(Puts up his hands in a gentle manner:)_ That's okay, Woo. You've done so much for me so quickly, I _shouldn't_ complain. So, what happened _after_ Highland?

WOO: Helen Morgendorffer got another offer at the law firm of--get this, I'm _serious_, now--_Vitale, Davis, Horowitz, Riodan, Schrecter, Schrecter, and Schrecter, (Darren looks at Woo as if to say, "Are you kidding?")_ and Jake Morgendorffer took his business and their daughters _right behind_ her to Lawndale, which is located--_(traces his finger on the map)_ right _here. (Darren looks at the map, mildly surprised)_

_(Note to reader: Yeah, I kind of wimped out on what state I thought Lawndale was in--I'll leave that to your imagination--but you can use your logic, and maybe figure it out!)_

DARREN: Lawndale's _here_? That's _not_ too far from where I live. I can probably _drive_ there to talk to them. I'll call them after I get back home and arrange some sort of _meeting_--provided that they _will_ meet me. _(Drinks his coffee)_

WOO: _(Raised eyebrow:)_ Ah, so you _are_ definitely going, Darren?

DARREN: I may as well, Woo. If my birth parents do talk to me and believe my story, we'll probably do some _DNA_ tests to make _sure_ that we're genetically related. _(Pauses:)_ If they _don't_ want to conduct them, _I_ probably will ask for some--just to make _sure_.

WOO: _(Smirks, half-jokingly:)_ Oh, _after_ they hear your story, they may not even _want_ to conduct DNA tests, even if you _do_ ask--for they'll probably be very _angry_ at Doctor Turley, and demand his _head_.

DARREN: _(Drinks the rest of his coffee:)_ Then they'd better get in _line_, Woo. I'm _still_ angry at what he did, and _how_ he did it, _(grits his teeth:)_ the _monster. (Narrows eyes while looking out the window)_

Woo silently stared at Darren for a moment, registering the sound of _hate_ in Darren's voice, and began to quietly gather up the files. There was another knock at the door, and Carla, seemingly a bit more under _control_ around Darren this time, came in.

CARLA: _(Fights herself to look only at Woo:)_ Woo, there was a call that just came in--Doctor Turley _died_ ten minutes ago. _(Darren glances at her and Woo with an unreadable look)_ You wanted to know about Turley's _condition_.

WOO: Thank you, Carla. _(Carla hurriedly leaves without looking at Darren)_

DARREN: _(A bit sarcastic, bitter:) Hooray, hooray, the monster is dead today. (Looks directly at Woo:)_ I guess my birth parents _won't_ be able to get his head, Woo--not unless they can make an _arrangement_ with the _undertaker_ over collecting Turley's body parts. _(Pauses, then adds quietly:)_ I should at least send my _condolences_ to Mrs. Turley. _(Pulls out a pen and notepad from his briefcase and begins to write a reminder note to himself)_

WOO: I'll send some flowers to the funeral for the family--will you be going back _home_ now, Darren? I suppose there is nothing _more_ holding you here.

DARREN: _(In a quiet tone:)_ Yeah, I'd better call the airport and get my jet ready to go back home. _(Pulls out a cell phone from briefcase)_

WOO: Very well. I have the numbers of where both of your parents _work_, as well as their home in Lawndale in this folder, and a few other minor, _personal_ things on your birth family. _(Gives Darren the folder:)_ Here are some copies of the files on your family. _(Darren opens his briefcase and puts the folder in it)_

DARREN: _(While on phone:)_ Thanks, Woo, and I have something for _you_, as well--_(reaches into briefcase and gives a gold envelope to Woo:)_ I believe this will _cover_ everything, and _then_ some.

WOO: _(Opens envelope, sees check amount, stunned:)_ And _thank you_, Darren. _(Smiles:)_ I hope you will have _further_ use of my services in the future.

DARREN: _(Still on phone:)_ Actually, Woo, I _do_--I'll tell you about it while we go back to the hotel. Right now, I want to get back there and leave for home--_(pauses:)_ yes, have the jet ready in an _hour_, thank you. _(Clicks off phone, puts it back into his briefcase, thought v.o.: I'll call aunt Millie on the plane ride back home, just so she won't worry--I did hang up on her pretty quickly last night--I'll tell her what Doctor Turley did when I get back home)_

Darren and Woo walked out of the conference room and into the reception area, where Carla was at her desk, typing at her computer keyboard. She stopped when she saw them.

WOO: We're leaving, Carla. Darren's going back East. _(Carla looks a bit disappointed)_ I'm going to drive him back to the hotel and then to the airport--page me if our man _David_ calls about any developments on the Snell case, other than that, I'm out.

CARLA: Okay, Woo. _(Looks at Darren sadly, but smiling:)_ Goodbye, Darren--I hope everything goes well with your birth parents.

DARREN: _(Smiles back:)_ Actually, Carla, I plan on _meeting_ them as soon as possible. Thank you and goodbye--it was nice meeting you. _(Shakes hands with her, which causes Carla to blush slightly, then leaves with Woo)_

Carla leaned from behind her desk to see Darren get in the rental car with Woo and drive off. She sighed _dreamily_ for a second, then began to type again with a _melancholy_ look on her face.

_(Appleton Tower, New York City, about seven hours later in the executive conference room, 30th floor:)_

There were several Appleton executives, along with their assistants, sitting around a long, black marble rectangular table, all talking to each other. The room they were in was almost totally surrounded by tinted glass, which provided a rather panoramic and spectacular view of New York City's famous skyscrapers. William Appleton, followed closely by Benny and a secretary, walked into the room across its ivory-colored ceramic tile floor, and sat down at the table, with the secretary taking notes. Everyone grew quiet.

WILLIAM: _(Completely in a serious business mode, looking down at a stack of papers in front of him:)_ Good afternoon, everyone. This meeting is called to go over the current status of the conglomerate's divisional holdings for this quarter. _(Looks up:)_ Clothing division, report.

CLOTHING DIVISION SPOKESWOMAN: I'm reporting a 10 percent increase in our Circa clothing line during the first quarter. It's the first increase in the _last_ two quarters, I might add.

WILLIAM: _Decent_, but shoot for _double_ that next quarter. _(Clothing division chief looks miffed)_ Technology division report.

TECHNOLOGY DIVISION SPOKESMAN: I'm _proud_ to report a 15 percent increase in earnings during the first quarter, with the biggest gains in our personal computer market, particularly our _Sharpshooter_ line of PC's.

WILLIAM: Good, but _not_ good enough. Target an increase up to _25 percent_ for the second quarter. _(Technology division chief looks stunned)_ Food division report.

FOOD DIVISION SPOKESWOMAN: We've had a 22 percent increase in earnings during the first quarter--_(smirks before adding:) double_ what Appleton had during the last quarter.

WILLIAM: Good, so I'll expect it to double _again_ for the _next_ quarter. _(Woman looks shocked, turns a bit pale)_ Media division report.

MEDIA DIVISION SPOKESMAN: _(After a quick, uncomfortable glance at the food division chief:)_ The media division's holdings were a bit--_down_ by 2 percent--

WILLIAM: _(Cuts him off, scowls slightly:) --Reason_? 

MEDIA DIVISION SPOKESMAN: _(Looking a little nervous:)_ Our acquisition of _Tramell Press_ last year cut into our profits. We haven't seen a return yet on our investment. _(Adds quickly:)_ But of course, we _knew_ that it would take a _little_ time to turn it around--

WILLIAM: _(Again cuts him off, giving a rather ominous look directly at the media division chief:)--If_ there's no improvement in profits next quarter, then _something's_ going to have to be _done_, don't you _think_?

MEDIA DIVISION SPOKESMAN: _(Looking a lot nervous now:)_ O--oh, _yessir--definitely_ something. In fact, I'm looking at _other_ options right now--

WILLIAM: _(Smug smile:) --Good_. Energy division report.

ENERGY DIVISION SPOKESWOMAN: _(Giving a "He's got to be impressed by this" look on her face:)_ We had a _50_ percent increase in our coal-to-oil, electrical, nuclear, and garbage-burning energy plant profits for the first quarter, a large increase over the last quarter--almost _triple_.

WILLIAM: _(After a pause:)_ I _suppose_ that'll do at the moment. _(Energy division chief looks a little peeved)_ I want you to concentrate on _selling_ our two nuclear plants in the West, they're putting a _strain_ on our garbage-burning profits. I want those plants _gone_ by the _next_ quarter, do you understand? _(Energy division chief is shocked, but instead of saying nothing, she responds)_

ENERGY DIVISION SPOKESWOMAN: _(In a forceful manner:)_ Mr. Appleton, we've _tried_ selling those plants for the last _year_. Maybe we should sell at the _first_ offer that's given to us. It may _not_ be what we're _asking_ for, but at least--

WILLIAM: _(Cuts her off, looking a little menacing:)_ --Are you suggesting that we take a _loss_ on this? Oh no, I _don't_ think so. If you _can't_ do the job, then maybe we could find someone _else. (The energy division chief looks flustered for a moment, then nods curtly, William then smiles) Good_--now that's the _get-up-and-go attitude_ we want at Appleton Industries, speaking of which--_(gets up:)_ I declare this meeting _adjourned_--all opposed? _(No one says anything, looking uncomfortably at each other)_ Very well, I'll see you all at next week's meeting. _(Leaves)_

William, after dismissing the secretary, went with Benny into the elevator at the end of the corridor. William pushed the button that would take both men to the roof where the helipad was.

BENNY: _(After a moment, hesitant:) Geez_, Boss--you were awfully _agressive_ in there, even for _you_.

WILLIAM: _(Looking ahead:)_ You _have_ to be like that, Benny, or they _won't_ respect you.

BENNY: But, well--do you think that's _wise_? What if some of the division chiefs go to the Board of Directors to _complain_? If this gets back to _Darren_--

WILLIAM: _(Pushing the stop button and simultaneously faces Benny, scowls, Benny cringes a bit:)_ --It _won't_, do you hear? _(Calms down a bit:)_ At least not for _now_. Remember, Benny, I have a _grace_ period, here. The Board will cut me some _slack_, and I'm using the time to get the _message_ out that William Appleton is _more_ than just a _(snorts:) "temporary"_ figurehead, that I'm determined to keep Appleton Industries _profitable_. If any of those _crybabies_ go running to the Board, they'll look like they _can't_ take the heat, making them look _bad_ in front of the Board. I know the division chiefs have a lot of _pride_, for they'll go the _extra_ mile to stay one step _ahead_ of me, and _that_ is the factor for the company to stay profitable. _(Smirks:)_ In other words, I'm _motivating_ them. _(Pushes the button to start the elevator again, changes subject:)_ I called Millie about an _hour_ ago, and she told me Darren's on his way back to the mansion with _good_ news, which I'm hoping is about him meeting his birth family. That's why I wanted to end the divisional holdings meeting _early_. I plan to be there waiting _with_ her to meet him. In the meantime, I want you to go over the Roeberson acquisition plan while I'm gone for ideas on how we'll proceed on it.

BENNY: Okay, Boss--I hope everything goes well.

Benny watched William go out to the waiting helicopter, and it took off to the Appleton mansion. By the time William's helicopter had gotten to the mansion, he had found out from the gardener that Darren had just gotten there. Anxious to see what Darren had to say, William _literally_ jogged out to the service entrance on the side of the kitchen, nearly bowling over Claude and the chef, a small, portly man named _Henri_, who were carrying some groceries, in the process.

WILLIAM: _(Nearly out of breath, frowns:) Blast it_, watch where you're going, Claude, Henri! _You_ two almost ran _me_ over! _(Rushes by)_

CLAUDE: I'm _so_ sorry, sir! _(Thought v.o.: Pompous ass!)_

HENRI: Pardon _me_, sir! _(Thought v.o.: Pompous ass!)_

William bolted to the study and practically threw open the doors, where he found Darren talking to Millie. Both looked at William, startled by his rather loud entrance.

MILLIE: _(Concerned:)_ William, is _everything_ all right?

WILLIAM: _(Gasping, leaning against the sofa:)_ I-I'm _f-fine_ you two, just-just let me catch my breath. Go-go on, Darren.

DARREN: _(Looking at William strangely:)_ Er, I just got in, Uncle Will, and haven't started yet. Aunt Millie said that you wanted to be here---_(pauses:)_ so we decided to _wait_ for you. Since you're here, now, I'll tell you what I found out. _(Looks at Millie:)_ You two better sit down, because the story I have to tell you is too _incredible_ to be believed--

The time passed by after Darren's stunning illegal adoption story and of his birth family, with Millie and William just about too shocked to say anything, save for a few questions. Darren was just finishing his story when both were finally coming out of their stupors.

DARREN: --And here I am. I'm planning to call the Morgendorffers after I rest up and talk to Curtis.

MILLIE: _(Sniffling, holding back her tears, gets up to hug Darren:) My God_, Darren! How could Doctor Turley do somthing so--so _horrible_?

DARREN: _(Quietly, looking down to Millie:)_ I--don't know, Aunt Millie, but we can't change what's been done now. All I--_we_--can do is go on.

WILLIAM: _(Looking stunned, thought v.o.: **Damn**, and I thought **I** was ruthless! Too bad the good doctor is dead. I'd make him pay for **cursing** us with Darren--then again, I could've used someone like that to--oh, well:)_ Darren is _right_, Millie--_all_ we can do is go on--it's water under the bridge, now. _(Changes subject and tone, looks at Darren uneasily:)_ Ah, Darren--are you planning to simply _meet_ these Morgen_driffers_--

DARREN: --Morgend_ORFFERS_, Uncle Will--

WILLIAM: --_Morgendorffers_, Darren--right out of the _blue_? I mean, what do we _really_ know about these people? You said that your birth mother is a _lawyer. (Rolls his eyes:)_ Heaven _knows_ what _that_ would mean.

DARREN: _(Narrows his eyes:)_ What would _what_ mean, Uncle Will?

WILLIAM: _(Sounding urgent:)_ She could use legal _tactics_ to get you to give at least _some_ of your money to _them. (Both Darren and Millie look stunned) Think_ about it for a second, okay? Once your birth family finds out how _rich_ you are, your birth mother could say that your--_parents_--used _illegal_ means to adopt you--_(Darren looks like he's about to say something, but William holds up his hands to cut him off:)_ and _we_ know _nothing_ was done wrong, but _how_ would it _look_? _$50,000_? It's possible that _any_ jury in the country could say that your birth family is _entitled_ to a _share_ of your wealth based on _that_ alone, police report or no. Besides, why not get to know your birth family--_without_ the _"money factor"_ coming into play, at least until you get to know them _well_?

MILLIE: _(Confused:) Without_ the _"money factor"_, William? Just _what_ are you getting at?

WILLIAM: _(Smirks:)_ Isn't it _obvious_, Millie? I'm saying that Darren should _pretend_ he's someone _else_ when he meets these people, you know, a _cover_. I mean, don't let the _wealth_ of Darren get in the _way_ of knowing his birth family. Why have it as a _distraction_ at the very _beginning_?

DARREN: _(In a sarcastic tone:) You_ think wealth is a _distraction_, Uncle Will? _(Rolls eyes, while William slightly scowls:) Please_. Look, I don't think it's a good idea to _lie_ to these people, I don't want to be _like_ Turley. I want to establish some sort of _trust_, some sort of _bond_ with my birth family if they want to meet me--

WILLIAM: _(Sneers:)_ --Oh, I'm _sure_ once these people _see_ your wealth, they'll _want_ to meet you and establish this _"bond"_ and _"trust"_ that you seem so _sure_ about. Besides, in case you don't know, you're _nothing_ like Turley, compared to _what_ he did. _(Sighs:)_ All I'm saying is if you meet your birth family, do you _really_ believe that the wealth issue _won't_ be a problem, Darren? Sure, your birth family _could_ be honest, but even still, the _amount_ of money that you have is akin to, say, a _tornado_ coming up the road _towards_ you. Do you simply _ignore_ it, and keep going about your business, or do you look for _shelter_? _(Pauses, waits to see if his reasoning is sinking in:)_ To _me_, the answer is _clear_. At least meet me _halfway_ here. I'm not saying you should _out-and-out lie_ to these people, I'm just saying that you should--well--_skew_ the truth a bit, until you know them well enough to tell the _whole_ truth to them, that's all.

DARREN: _(Along with Millie has a skeptical look:) "Skew"_ the truth--and just _how_ do I do that?

WILLIAM: It's _simple_, Darren--let's take your _name_ for example. You can keep _"Darren"_, because the public knows you by your first name _"Arthur"_ while you of course don't use it, but add something that would _"cover"_ your _last_ name--_(gets an idea:)_ ah, of course! _"Cover-ton"_! _Darren Coverton_! 

MILLIE: _(Rolls her eyes, chuckles:) "Darren Coverton"_? William, you've gone--_coo-coo_! _(Smirks:)_ How about if they ask who the names of his _parents_ were?

WILLIAM: _(Slight frown:)_ Millie, Darren can _make up_ a name for them--_(pauses:)_ or maybe _not_. How about _"Walter"_ and _"Grace"_? _Technically_, he won't be lying if he uses _those_ names.

DARREN: My parent's _middle_ names? _(Snickers:)_ What about what their _jobs_ were?

WILLIAM: You could say that your father was a _businessman_--say, _computers_. Your father started our computer business first, remember, and then _diversified_ into other branches. Just say he worked in computers, that'll _pass_--and _technically_--

DARREN: --_Technically_, it wouldn't be a lie, Uncle Will--okay, what about my _mother_?

WILLIAM: For her, you could say she worked in _fashion_--this is also _true_. She was the _creator_ and _head_ of the clothing division. Just say that she did something _similar_ to that, because--

DARREN & MILLIE: --_"Technically"_ it's true.

WILLIAM: Exactly! Be _creative_.

DARREN: What about my _education_? Eastward is a really _difficult_ school to get into academically, and unless one has a _lot_ of money _and_ brains, it's nearly _impossible_ to enroll there.

WILLIAM: Ah, _here_ you can simply say _exactly_ that you go to Eastward. There's nothing _wrong_ with saying you're smart enough to go there, which you _are_, in fact. As for the _money_ angle, just say your parents could _afford_ it, which of course, _is_ true. Say that your parents were _upper middle-class_--which is the _same_ as your birth family. The only difference here is that your birth family doesn't know _how_ rich you _really_ are--at least not _yet_.

MILLIE: _(Mocking tone:)_ What about the story _behind_ Darren's adoption? Should he be _"creative"_ and _"technical"_ about _that_, too?

WILLIAM: _(Looking exasperated:)_ Of course _not_, Millie! Just _change_ the names of his parents! He can tell the _entire_ truth about that, save for the _money_ he gave to Mrs. Turley. He could even talk about the $50,000 _fee_ that his parents paid. He could say that his parents were wanting a baby, which is _true_, and that the Barnes Adoption Agency offered to give them one, and that his parents _didn't_ know about what Turley did to get them Darren, which is _true_.

DARREN: _(In a solemn tone:)_ --And what if they ask about _how_ my parents _died_, Uncle Will?

William grew a little _pale_ over this, but quickly recovered.

WILLIAM: _(In a faux noble tone:)_ --That they were killed in an _accident_, and that you _don't_ want to talk about it. That's _true_ enough, right? If your birth family wants to establish this--_"trust"_, and _"bond"_ as you say that they might, they _won't_ press you on the matter out of respect for your _feelings_, and because they'd be so _glad_ to see you.

Darren stared at William for a moment out of stunned disbelief, contemplating what his uncle had said, then looked at his aunt.

DARREN: What do _you_ think about all of this, Aunt Millie?

MILLIE: _(Looking at William, uncertain:)_ I--_don't_ know, Darren. Your uncle seems to have made a--_convincing_ argument. _(Darren looks a bit surprised at this)_ It's possible these people you may meet could be--_dishonest_, I--really couldn't say for sure. _(Looks off, deep in thought)_

WILLIAM: _(Sensing an opening:) Exactly_ my point, Darren--we _don't_ know. Why not go _slow_ on this and take your _time_? You know _who_ they are and _where_ they live, so get to know _them_ and let them get to know _you_.

DARREN: _(Still with an unsure look:)_ Well, maybe I should talk to _Curtis_ and see what _he_ thinks about this--

WILLIAM: _(A little alarmed:) --Curtis_? No offense, but _you're_ the one going through this, _not_ your friend. _(In a faux pacifying tone:)_ Sure, he _could_ say to tell the _whole_ truth to these Morgen_daffers_--

DARREN: --Morgen_DORFFERS_, Uncle Will--

WILLIAM: _(Rolls his eyes:) --Morgendorffers_, Darren--but what if Curtis turns out to be _wrong_ if he tells you this, and things go _awry_ with your birth family? Your friendship could _suffer_ because of it. _(Voice gets low, faux deep concern tone:)_ I certainly don't know your friend like _you_ do, but with everything you've gone through these past few weeks, my boy, do you _want_ to take the chance of not only losing _Stephanie_ and your _parents_, but your _birth family_ and _Curtis_, too? My _God_, man, how much can one person _take_? I think you could tell him _after_ you meet your birth parents, at least. _(Hesitates:)_ Just--just _consider_ what I said, and if you _still_ want to tell Curtis, then by all means--_(dramatic pause, in a faux pained look to make Darren feel a little guilty:) do so. (Looks at watch:)_ I've got to go back to work, you two. _(Looks at Darren:)_ Good luck, nephew--I'll call tonight to see what you've decided. _(Pats him on the back, and leaves with a dramatic stride)_

DARREN: _(After watching William leave, a bit tentative to his aunt:)_ Aunt Millie, I'm going up to my room and rest for awhile--I've got some _serious_ thinking to do. _(Leaves the study)_

MILLIE: Okay, Darren--have a good sleep. _(Thought v.o.: Why couldn't I say anything more? Could William actually be right? Oh, God, please let Darren get to know these "Morgendorffers", and that they're good, honest people who can accept him. I--don't know what could happen to his sanity if they don't.)_

_(The Morgendorffer residence, about an hour later:)_

The Morgendorffers were sitting around the kitchen table having their customary lasagna dinner while discussing the option of going to the beach or the mountains. Daria stared forward wordlessly, secretly wishing that a _meteor_ from outer space could _destroy_ Jake's Lexus, Helen's SUV, the mountains, and the beach all at the _same_ time so they could go nowhere. As she chewed her food, she watched the others with her usual expressionless detachment, slightly amused by Quinn's standard ranting and raving over the possibilities of meeting boys in either place, and what she should wear when she does. Helen was controlling the conversation as to where they'd go, _naturally_, and Jake was ocasionally grunting in agreement with Helen while reading the newspaper. _Par for the course_. It became _obvious_ to Daria that her boredom was _defeating_ her relaxation, and she even briefly wished that school was _still_ in session so she could _do_ something. Fortunately, that rather _idiotic_ and _mundane_ thought came into her head and went right on _out_.

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: Come on, got to keep my sanity--must--stay--sane--)_

HELEN: _(Finishing up her reasoning:)_ --And _that's_ why we should go to the _beach. (Cuts her eyes to Daria:)_ What do _you_ think, Daria, and don't go into your "Why we should go to both places speech" _again_, young lady.

QUINN: _(Before Daria can speak:)_ Mom, you _know_ that Daria's not gonna care _either_ way. She doesn't care if we don't go _anyplace. (Sneers at her:) Right_, Daria?

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Well, Quinn--_you_ can go to _h--_

HELEN: _--Daria_! _(The cell phone sitting on the kitchen table begins to ring, Helen answers it in her falsetto voice:) Hellooo_? Oh, _Jane_! How are you? _(Pauses:)_ You _are_? Good! How is _Amanda_? _(Pauses:)_ She _is_? Good! _(Casts a quick glare at Daria:)_ Your _timing_ couldn't have been _better_, dear. _(Pauses:)_ Yes, here she is. _(Gives phone to Daria, who promptly gets up and goes into the living room, sits on the middle couch)_

DARIA: Hello, _stranger. Who_ did my mom _say_ you were again?

JANE: Okay, okay! I know I haven't called in a little over a _week_, so _sue_ me.

DARIA: _(Smirks:) Careful_, my mom's a _lawyer_. I might just take you _up_ on that. _(Pauses:)_ So what's up? You and your mom have decided to become _hermits_? If you have, I will come to seek out and _destroy_ you for trying to _muscle_ in on my _ultimate fantasy_.

JANE: _(Snickers:) Gee_, and here I thought your "ultimate fantasy" was _licking_ the whipped cream off of _Trent's naked body_.

DARIA: _(Blushes slightly at the thought:)_ Nope, _that_ one's between you _and_ Tom. Speaking of which--_(reaches for paper in her pocket Tom gave her:)_ Tom says he wants you to call him about 8:00 p.m. He said that his phone's answering machine was broken, so _that's_ why you haven't been able to call him, and that his car broke down on his way to see you. That's why he wasn't at your house or the airport.

JANE: _(Sounding exasperated:) Geez_--he _still_ hasn't fixed that _crappy_ answering machine yet? Great, that's just _great_.

DARIA: _(Raised eyebrow:)_ Say, you _okay_? You sound a little _annoyed_ with Tom.

JANE: Well--_(pauses:)_ it's just that he seems to have taken a hell of a lot of time to _fix_ a _lot_ of things recently.

DARIA: _(Narrows her eyes:)_ What do you mean, _"fix"_? Is _that_ what you meant when you said, _"Another moment in a long line of--"_ when you were packing to leave in your room last week to me?

JANE: --Yeah, I guess. Think about it--our relationship, his car, the answering machine. It seems like one _feeds_ on the other. I'm beginning to wonder about whether _I_ want to fix how we _feel_ about each other.

DARIA: _(Sounding concerned:)_ Hey, _whoa_. Maybe you should hear _Tom's_ side out before you consider that. He was _really_ worried that he couldn't get to see you off.

JANE: _(Quiet tone:)_ I guess. _(Chuckling sound:)_ You know, I can't believe _you're_ speaking up for _Tom_ now. I remember how you felt about him cutting into our _time_ together.

_(Note to reader: See "Jane's Addition" and "Partner's Complaint" about Daria's attitude over Tom and Jane being together)_

DARIA: _(Uncomfortable now:)_ Well, um--Tom's--_okay_. I realized how much of a _jerk_ I was being when I treated him like a _plague_. You seemed--_happy_ with him, so I had to eventually _accept_ him being there.

JANE: _Umm-hmm_. Listen, I'm calling from a guest room in a house on the Hopi Native American Resevation in Arizona. My mom and I have been staying with some people she knows, and we've been in the _desert_ all of this time, getting in _"touch with nature"_. Let me give you a number to call me, and the time you can call--

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ --Gosh, _that_ sounds awfully _familiar_. Go ahead, I have a pen and a pad.

JANE: Okay--it's area code _(602) 555-1890_. Call after 11:00 p.m. D.S.T., your time zone.

DARIA: Got it. _(Phone rings over the line:)_ Hang on--I have another call.

JANE: Hey, I gotta go, anyway. _(Pauses:)_ I'll call Tom at the time you gave me. Later.

DARIA: Okey-dokey. _(Clicks off phone, then back on:)_ Hello?

VOICE: _(Tentatively:)_ Hello, is a--_Helen_ or a _Jake Morgendorffer_ there?

DARIA: Both of them are here at the _ranch_. Take your pick.

VOICE: _(Slight chuckle:)_ Ah, Helen Morgendorffer, please.

DARIA: You have chosen one Helen Morgendorrfer, sir. Now, to make the _other_ half of this message officially complete, _whom_ may I ask is calling?

VOICE: _(Pause:)_ Er--_Darren Coverton_, miss, and _you're_--?

DARIA: _--Out of here. (Covers phone, raises voice, smirks:)_ Mom? One of your _clients_ beckons, or it's one of those pesky _telemarketers_. His name is a _"Darren Coverton". (Helen comes up and takes the phone, while Daria goes back to the kitchen)_

HELEN: _(In her "get tough" voice:)_ Now see _here_, Mr. Coverton, we're _not_ interested in _any_ product you're selling--

DARREN: --Uh, no ma'am. I'm not selling _anything_. I'm--

HELEN: _(Now in her falsetto "What can I do for you?" voice:)--Ooooh_, you're a _client_, then. All right, young man, I can--

DARREN: _(A bit more forcefully:)_ --No ma'am, I'm _not_ a client. _(Pauses:)_ Is this _really_ the _Morgendorffer_ residence? Maybe I've called the _wrong_ number.

HELEN: Young man, I can _assure_ you that this _is_ the Morgendorffer home--_wait a minute_--if you're _not_ a telemarketer or a client, _who_ are you?

DARREN: _(Sighs:)_ That's what I've been _trying_ to tell you, ma'am, I'm _neither. (Gets into a lower voice:)_ I--I would like to talk to you and your husband about something that happened about _twenty_ years ago, something that you two probably would rather _forget_.

HELEN: _(Now looking uneasy, eyes narrowing:) "Something"_, Mr. Coverton? What do you mean, _"something"_?

DARREN: _(Hesitates:)_ I'm talking about a _baby_ that you lost twenty years ago, Mrs. Morgendorffer.

HELEN: _(Now stunned:)_ W-What about my _baby_? M--my baby is _dead_! _(Pauses, is starting to become angry:)_ A-are you some sort of--of an _extortionist_ or something? Because if you _are_, young man--

DARREN: _(In a pacifying tone:)_ --No, ma'am, I'm not. Just--_please_ listen to me. _(Pauses:)_ You may want to _sit down_ before you hear this--

HELEN: _(Sitting down slowly, trying to stay calm:)_ All right, young man, I'm sitting down. Now what do you want to tell me about my baby?

DARREN: _(Dramatic pause:)_ That your baby did _not_ die, Mrs. Morgendorffer. I know that this may sound _crazy_ to you, but I'm--_begging_ you to believe me when I say--_I'm_ that baby.

Helen turned pale, and stared forward in space with her mouth agape.

DARREN: _(Quietly after a polite moment of silence:)_ Mrs. Morgendorffer, are you _there_--?

HELEN: _(Coming out of her stupor, speaking softly:)_ I-I'm _here_, young man--_D-Darren. H-how_ is this possible? My husband and I saw _your_--the baby's body--

DARREN: --Mrs. Morgendorffer, I'd like to tell you and your husband the _whole_ story. I know this has to be an _absolute shock_ to you, just as it was for _me_. If you have your _doubts_, I can't say that I can _blame_ you. Is--is there any _place_ you and your husband would feel _comfortable_ talking to me about it? It doesn't have to be at your home. _(Pauses:)_ I--I'd really like to _meet_ you both.

HELEN: _(Trying not to faint, considers:)_ Y-yes, Darren--there _is_ a place we can meet--have you heard of a _Cranberry Commons_ shopping mall here in Lawndale?

DARREN: No, ma'am, I haven't, but I know _where_ Lawndale is, and I have a map of your area, so it shouldn't be too hard to find. What day and time do you want to meet?

HELEN: _(Pauses, still fighting the urge not to faint:)_ C-can you meet us _tomorrow_ at 5:00 p.m. in the f-food court area?

DARREN: _(After a moment:)_ I can be there, ma'am. _(Pauses:)_ See you then. _(Hangs up.)_

HELEN: _(Realizes something:) Wait_! How will we _know_ you when we see--_damn_! _(Clicks off cell phone, gets up quietly, takes a deep breath, and then:) Jake_! Jake! Get the hell in here _right_ now!

_(End of Part One)_


	4. Chapter 4

"Revelations--A 'Daria' Fanfic" Part 2 By Steven Galloway SGall23241@aol.com 

_(To the reader: I've decided to skip the recap. I figured that if you've come this far, you're interested enough to go on, and basically know what's happening--in other words, read it like a **book**!. Now, on with the story.)_

Chapter 4 - Contact

Jake nearly _fell_ out of his chair in the kitchen when he heard Helen's _bellowing_, whereas Quinn nearly _choked_ on her skim milk. Daria raised an eyebrow and _smirked_ just as she was about to finish eating.

DARIA: Looks like you're _busted_, Dad.

JAKE: _(In his usual confused state, looking with a sense of dread at the living room:)_ But _what_ did I _do_, Daria? You and Quinn saw me sitting here at the table, reading the paper, and doing _nothing_!

QUINN: _(Smirks, too:)_ I don't what's going on, Daddy, but mom sounds like she's really ready to _explode_! You didn't call that _porno_ service again, did you, and they're trying to make you _pay_ the bill?

JAKE: _(In a tizzy now:)_ It was an _accident_, sweetie! I was trying to call a client, and his number was _one_ number off from that service! I can get the phone bill and _prove_ it--

HELEN: _(From the living room again:) JAKE_! Jake Morgendorffer! Get in here _right_ now!

JAKE: _(Looking sad, resigned to his fate:) Coming_, dear! _(Gets up slowly from the table and drags himself into the living room)_

Jake walked into the living room and was surprised to see Helen sitting on the couch _crying_ softly. He quickly came up to her and sat down beside her, putting his arm around his wife.

JAKE: _(In a "Please don't kill me" tone:)_ Honey, I'm _sorry_ about that porno call, but they're _wrong_ about the charging fee! _(Begins to get into his "Raging at the Old Man" tone, narrows his eyes:)_ A guy makes a _simple_ mistake by calling the wrong number, and he _keeps_ paying for it! Just like my _Old Man_! When _I_ made a mistake, he _never_ let me forget it! I kept _on_ paying--_on and on, and--_

HELEN: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Jake, will you get a _grip_? I'm _not_ talking about that _stupid_ pornography service call! I just received a phone call from someone who says they're--_(looks up to see that Daria and Quinn are standing in the doorway watching her:)_ they're--wanting to get a--_gift_ for someone we _both_ know! Yes, that's it! A gift! _(Grabs Jake's hand:)_ Come on, honey and _help_ me find one for the person we both know! We'll be back a little later, girls. _(Keeps cell phone in her hand, gets keys off counter and pulls Jake out of the front door, Jake pulls front door, slamming it)_

Daria and Quinn stared at each other for a moment, then sat down on the middle living room couch.

DARIA: _(While counting on her fingers:)_ Let's go over the _clues_, Quinn: (1) Someone named _"Darren Coverton"_ calls here and chooses to talk to mom. (2) Mom talks to this guy and _freaks_ out. (3) Mom calls dad and is about to tell him what's up when she _sees_ us, and suddenly _dreams up_ a _lame_ excuse about getting a _"gift"_ for someone to _leave_ you and me behind, and takes dad _with_ her. Conclusion: something _big_ is _definitely_ going down.

QUINN: _(Stares at Daria for a second, then gasps, wide-eyed:) Of course_, Daria! That's _it_! Don't you _see_?

DARIA: _(Confused look on her otherwise passive face:)_ Um--see _what_, Quinn?

QUINN: _(In her "duh" tone:)_ Isn't it _obvious_? They're gonna get a _birthday_ gift for _me_! Look at _my_ clues: _(Counts on **her** fingers:)_ (1) My birthday is in _two_ months. (2) Mom and dad _said_ they _both_ know the person--well, they both know _me_. (3) Obviously, mom and dad wanted to get out of here as _fast_ as they could so we wouldn't know _what_ gift they were getting me, probably telling this _"Darren"_ fellow, who works at some _clothing shop or another_--probably _Cashman's_, 'cause mom an' dad _know_ that it is the _only_ place I'd shop for fashion in Lawndale. _(Ponders by looking in the air for a moment:)_ Gee, maybe I should tell them _what_ I want.

DARIA: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Quinn, didn't you see how _upset_ mom was? I _doubt_ that she'd be like that over a gift for _you--(shrugs, then in an off-handed remark:)_ unless it was _expensive_, of course. _(Suddenly realizes what she just said and slaps her forehead because she knows what Quinn's going to say)_

QUINN: _(Really excited now:) EEEEE_! That's _it_, Daria! A gift that costs a _lot_ of money! I gotta tell the _Fashion Club_! _(Grabs the other cell phone from the center couch, runs upstairs)_

DARIA: Quinn, I was just--_(thought v.o.: It's my own damn fault for helping to put that idea in her head--of course, there's plenty of room **in** her head to put something into, like an empty, barren landscape.) (Goes back into kitchen)_

_(Scene changes to the Appleton estate:)_

Darren came down the stairs. He joined his aunt, who was reading the newspaper on the couch, in the study.

DARREN: _(While sitting down in a chair beside the couch:)_ I made the call to my birth parents, and ended up talking to my birth mother.

MILLIE: _(Looks up from her newspaper:)_ You--_talked_ to her, Darren? What--_what_ did you _say_?

DARREN: I told her that I was her _son_, and that I was _alive_.

MILLIE: What did _she_ say?

DARREN: Naturally, she was _stunned_. I don't know if she _believed_ me--not that I could _blame_ her--but after a moment, she said she'd _agree_ to meet me, along with her husband--my birth _father_.

MILLIE: _(Puts aside her newspaper:)_ They _agreed_ to meet you? Where?

DARREN: In Lawndale, at a mall called _Cranberry Commons_ at 5:00 tomorrow evening. I've just got off the phone with one of those rental car places. I'll get the car _brought_ to the mansion tomorrow morning, take my bag with me, and drive there. I'll look over the Internet on my computer and see what hotels are in the area that I can stay at.

MILLIE: _(Narrows her eyes slightly:)_ I see--and what _name_ did you use?

DARREN: _(Pauses:)_ Well, for the hotel and the car, it'll be _Darren Appleton_. In the Morgendorffer's case, _Darren Coverton. (Raises eyebrow:)_ Is there a _problem_ with that? _You_ didn't raise too much of an _objection_ when uncle Will first brought it up.

MILLIE: You're right, I didn't at _first_, but thinking about it _now_, are you really _comfortable_ with following your _uncle's_ advice about using this "Coverton" last name ruse and cover story? I thought you were going to talk to _Curtis_ first.

DARREN: _(Sighs:)_ I tried to talk to Curtis _before_ calling the Morgendorffers, Aunt Millie, but his grandmother said he was out with Lena, and _no_, I'm _not_ comfortable with taking uncle Will's advice. As much as I _hate_ to admit it, though, he's _right_. I _don't_ know these Morgendorffers, and I want to _get_ to know them _without_ the money question coming into play. _(Chuckles, looks at watch:)_ Hmm--maybe I need to turn in _early_ because I probably _won't_ be able to sleep tonight, and I'm _so_ excited, I'll need the _extra_ hours to make up for all of my _expected_ tossing and turning.

MILLIE: _(In a thoughtful tone:)_ You seem really _eager_ to want to know these Morgendorffers, Darren, for _obvious_ reasons, of course, but--_(pauses:)_ what if they're _not_ the people you _expect_ for them to be, and I'm _not_ talking about the money question.

DARREN: _(Perplexed frown on his face:) What_ do you mean, Aunt Millie?

MILLIE: _(Hesitates:)_ I mean, maybe with these Morgendorffers, you're looking perhaps for a _new_ family? Maybe someone to _replace_ your _lost_ family?

DARREN: _(Shocked:) How_ can you _say_ that, Aunt Millie? My parents--

MILLIE: _(Quietly cuts him off:) --Adopted_ parents, Darren.

DARREN: _(Now angry:) What_ do you mean by _that_, Aunt Millie? They're _not_ my adopted parents--to me, they _are_ my _real_ parents. _(Grows solemn, looks away:)_ I just want to meet the people who gave me _birth_. They didn't _have_ the chance to _raise_ me, and I felt that I _owed_ them the chance to meet me, the son they _thought_ was _dead_.

MILLIE: _(Reaches over and holds Darren's hand:)_ Darren, I'm--_sorry_ for saying that. It's just that you're so _set_ on meeting them, and I'm afraid that you're building up your expectations too _high_.

DARREN: Too _high_, Aunt Millie?

MILLIE: Meeting the Morgendorffers may not be everything you _want_ it to be. They might not _take_ to you as quickly as you'd like, Darren.

DARREN: I'm being _realistic_, Aunt Millie. Let's face it, things might turn out _badly_, but I can _accept_ that. After what's happened to me recently, I think I can accept _anything. (Pauses:)_ But that's not the _real_ issue here, is it, Aunt Millie?

MILLIE: _(Chuckles softly:)_ Now what do _you_ mean, Darren?

DARREN: _(Looking at her completely seriously:)_ You're _afraid_ you might _lose_ me to the Morgendorffers, aren't you?

MILLIE: _(Stunned:) What_? No, Darren, that's _not_ true! I--I--_(begins to sob softly, then almost in a whisper:) yes_. I wanted to believe that meeting the Morgendorffers and getting along with them would be _good_ for you, but, well, you seem so _determined_ to see them--_(looks away)_

DARREN: _(Gets up and goes over to the couch, embracing her:)_--Aunt Millie, I told you _before_, I'm an _Appleton_, and that _won't_ change. _(Smiles:)_ You're _stuck_ with me as your nephew, so get over it.

MILLIE: _(Wipes her tears, and now smiles:)_ I'm going to _hold_ you to that, nephew.

DARREN: _(Grins:)_ Fair enough. _(Takes a deep breath:)_ Okay --now, I'm going to hold _you_ to something.

MILLIE: Oh, and what's that?

DARREN: I want you to get _away_ from the mansion for awhile, Aunt Millie. I've been thinking of _me_ these last few days, and I want to think of _you_ now. Why don't you go to _Europe_? You've been talking about it since last year. This is the _perfect_ time to go, and I'm not taking "no" for an answer.

MILLIE: _(Is about to say something, thinks the better of it:)_ You're a _hard_ taskmaster, nephew.

DARREN: _(In a faux noble tone, with his hand on his chest in a dramatic gesture:)_ I try, Auntie, I try.

MILLIE: I'll make some calls, and leave after I've heard from your meeting with the Morgendorffers, I promise.

DARREN: _(Grins:)_ Going to _take_ someone, Auntie, or are you going to plan a mysterious _rendezvous_ in Europe?

MILLIE: _(Mock glare:) Darren_! You know I haven't been with anyone seriously since my _divorce_!

DARREN: _(Smirks:)_ Well, then, don't you think it's _time_ you did?

MILLIE: _(Now with her own smirk:) Look_ who's talking.

Darren grew pale for a second, then talked in a quiet voice.

DARREN: _(Pained look on his face:)_ I'm _still_ not over Stephanie, yet, Aunt Millie. I _know_ I've got to move on, but I can't just yet.

MILLIE: Oh, Darren, I _didn't_ mean to--

DARREN: _(Gets up:)_ --It's okay, Auntie. I'm going to check on the computer, and then go to bed. I want to get up early enough to _jog_--I haven't done that in a few days, and I want to get back in the _regimen_ again, and then get ready to go. I haven't unpacked too many clothes since I returned, so I'll just take those with me. _(Kisses aunt on cheek:)_ I'll see you tomorrow morning, Aunt Millie.

MILLIE: _(Sighs:)_ I'll call William and tell him what you've decided, Darren.

DARREN: _(Shrugs:)_ Okay, Auntie. He'll probably be _pleased_ with my decision. _(Leaves study)_

_(Somewhere in Lawndale, in Helen's red SUV, in an empty parking lot)_

Jake sat in the passenger seat, stunned. Helen had told him of the call, and what it was about.

JAKE: Honey, are you _sure_ about this? I mean, _how_ do we know if this guy is on the _level_?

HELEN: _(Rolls her eyes:) Of course_ we don't know, Jake! _Why_ do you think I picked _Cranberry Commons_ as the place to _meet_ him? This --_Darren_ wouldn't _dare_ try anything in the open! _(Voice grows low:)_ But, he did seem like such a _nice_ and _mannerable_ young man.

JAKE: _(Eyes light up:)_ Helen, it just _occurred_ to me--_what_ do we tell the girls?

HELEN: _(Narrows eyes:)_ We'll tell them _nothing_ for the moment, Jake--at least not until we know what _exactly_ is going on here. _(Reaches for cell phone:)_ I'm going to make a call to a place I'd rather _not_ want to remember--_(shudders, grimace on her face:) Dumas._

JAKE: _(Looks up to remember:) Dumas_--where we lived for awhile? Why, honey?

HELEN: _(While dialing 411 to get number and frowning:)_ I want to talk to that _bastard_ of a doctor, _Turley_. He handled the miscarriage, and we _couldn't_ sue him because of that _quick_ malpractice investigation that cleared him of any wrongdoing. I'm wondering if he isn't _up_ to something. _(Glares into space:)_ There was something _shady_ about him, Jake, don't ask me to explain. I mean, the _only_ reason why we went to his house that night was because we were too far from the hospital, and we'd heard about him being an obstetrician from our neighbors. _(Talks on phone:)_ Yes, I'd like the number of a Doctor Hugo Turley in a town named Dumas, in California. Thank you.

JAKE: _(Now following his wife's lead, and getting angry:) Yeah_! That--that _sadist_! _(Grows suddenly sad, lowers head:)_ Aw, Helen --do you _really_ want to go through _this_ again? I mean, the police said _nothing_ was done wrong.

HELEN: _(While still on phone:)_ Jake, you're _not_ to blame for what happened that night! We've gone over this already!

JAKE: I know, dear, but--

HELEN: _(Cuts him off:)_ --Not _now_, dear--yes? _What_!? _(Pause:)_ Are you _sure_? _(Another pause:)_ I see. Well, thank you for the information. Goodbye. _(Turns off phone, narrows her eyes deep in thought)_

JAKE: What is it, Helen?

HELEN: They transferred my call to the _County General Hospital_ near Dumas, and I was told Turley _died_ there yesterday morning.

JAKE: Oh. _(Pauses:)_ What _of_?

HELEN: _(Looks as she is going to snap at Jake, but sighs:)_ It was _cancer_, Jakey.

JAKE: _Oh. (Pauses:)_ Well, are we still gonna meet this _"Darren"_ guy now, dear?

HELEN: _(Starts up her SUV:)_ Oh, _yes_, Jake--_(looks angry:)_ and may _heaven_ help this _"Darren"_ if he's doing this as some sort of _sick_ joke. _(Roars off in the SUV, throwing Jake backwards)_

_(Scene changes to a Park Avenue apartment in New York City about the same time)_

Willam Appleton was on his phone talking and grinning. He stood in his posh living room, surrounded by a stunning collection of Ming vases, Colonial-era furniture, and standing on an Oriental rug that covered a hardwood floor. On the marble walls were genuine paintings of Renoir and Rembrandt, and a glass case that contained autographed baseballs by Lou Gehrig, Babe Ruth, and Joe DiMaggio. On the sliding-glass door wall that led to a large balcony was a breathtaking view of the Manhattan skyline.

WILLIAM: That's _wonderful_, Millie! _(Pauses:)_ And you're _sure_ Darren doesn't _need_ anything? Okay, fine. _(Another pause:)_ You're going on that trip to Europe, _too_? Good--I'm glad Darren talked you into it, you need to get away for awhile from this. _(Pauses:)_ You'll go right _after_ Darren calls you? I suppose that'll do. Yes, Millie, fine. If Darren needs something, tell him _not_ to hesitate to call me. _(Pauses:)_ Good night, dear sister. _(Clicks off phone)_

VOICE: _(Apparently female from William's bedroom, seductive:)_ C'mooon, honeypot!

WILLIAM: _(Tosses phone on couch, thought v.o., looks up in a giddy mood: **Perfect**, this is just perfect! Everything's going according to my plan!)_ Coming, _babydoll_, coming! _(Goes into his room, shuts the door, muffled laughing is heard)_

_(The Morgendorffer home, the next morning:)_

Jake and Helen were going through their customary getting-ready-for-work rituals, and Quinn and Daria watched them while sitting at the kitchen table, though this time, both were not in their nightclothes. Daria leaned over to Quinn and spoke.

DARIA: _(In a low voice:)_ Okay, Quinn--now remember, we _know_ Mom's not going to say anything to us about what's going on, so we'll have to get it out of _dad. (Watches Helen go back upstairs:) Now's_ our chance to get it out of him with mom upstairs.

QUINN: _(Also in a low voice, smirks:)_ Don't worry, Daria--I just _know_ dad will tell me about the _gift_ he and mom are gonna get me. _(Gets a "Wait a second" frown on her face:)_ Hey, why are _you_ helping me get _my_ gift? _(Narrows her eyes:)_ Oh, I _see_! You want _something_ out of this, too! Well, it's _my_ birthday, so why can't you wait 'till your _own_ birthday to get something, Daria?

DARIA: _(In an exasperated tone:)_ Quinn for the _last_ time, I'm not--_(sees that this approach with Quinn isn't working, so she goes along with Quinn's "conclusion" to achieve the desired result, sighs:)_ okay, Quinn, you _got_ me. All I wanted to see was what mom and dad were gonna get you for your birthday. I'm just--a little _curious_, that's all, so how about checking with dad like we planned?

QUINN: _(Looks at Daria suspiciously, then relents:)_ Um, okay. _(Sees Jake rushing into the kitchen getting his coffee, goes over to him at the counter, and turns on the charm with her hands behind her back:)_ Oh, _Daaad_! I need to talk to you for a minute, _pleeease_? 

JAKE: _(While in a rush:)_ Gotta go, sweetie, Daddy's gonna be late! _(Drinks his coffee and gobbles down a doughnut from the pack of a dozen of them on the counter)_

QUINN: It's just for a minute, okay? _(Gets a "puppy dog" look in her eye)_

JAKE: _(Relents, not being able to resist:)_ Okay, sweetie, but only for a minute.

QUINN: Umm--I was wondering what you and mom were gonna get me for my birthday gift?

JAKE: _(Thinks for a second:)_ Gee, Quinn, your mom and I haven't thought about getting one for you yet. Did you have anything that you wanted in mind?

QUINN: _(While looking up:) Weeell_...if you go to _Cashman's_ at the _mall_--

JAKE: _(Reacting to the word "mall", panics a bit:)_ --Um, sweetie, _how_ did you know about the _mall_? You're _not_ supposed to know about the meeting your mom and I will have there at _five_ today! _(Daria cocks an eyebrow at this)_

QUINN: _(Confused now:) Meeting_? _What_ meeting? All I wanted was--

JAKE: _(Really panicking now:) OH, NO_! You _do_ know about the meeting? _(Looks around, sweats, eyes wide open:)_ Helen will skin me _alive_! _(Puts both hands on Quinn's shoulders, looks her dead in the eyes:)_ Quinn, _promise_ me you _won't_ tell your mom about this--_(looks over at Daria:)_ and that goes for you _too_, Kiddo!

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Don't worry, Dad--Quinn and I _certainly_ won't tell mom.

JAKE: _(Looking relieved:)_ Gee, thanks, girls! _(Glances at his watch:)_ Wow, I gotta go! _(Rushes out the front door)_

QUINN: _(Utterly stunned she wasn't allowed to finish what she wanted to say:)_ But _Daaad--(stomps:) damn it_!

Helen came back downstairs in a rush with her briefcase in hand, barreling by her daughters. She stopped just as she opened the front door, and looked back to the girls.

HELEN: Goodbye, girls! There's--

DARIA: _(Cutting her off:)_ --Yeah, Mom, we know--_frozen microwavable lasagna_ in the freezer. See ya--and show 'em who's _boss. (thought v.o.: Like you do **here**)_

QUINN: _(Sounding desperate, tries for Helen's ear:)_ Say, _Muh--oom--_

HELEN: --Can't stop now, sweetie! _(Leaves)_

QUINN: _(Completely frustrated now:) AAAAGH_! I couldn't get to tell them about what gift I wanted!

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ Quinn, didn't you hear dad say something about a _meeting_ at _Cranberry Commons_ today at _five_? We wanted to know what was going _on_, remember?

QUINN: _(Baffled:)_ Yeah, I remember--but how is _that_ a gift to _you_? I mean, _I'm_ the one getting the gift.

DARIA: _(Smirks:) I_ can find out what big _secret_ mom and dad are _keeping_ from us--that's _my_ gift.

QUINN: _(Still a bit baffled by what Daria has said, but is suddenly determined not to be left out, narrows eyes:)_ Oh, _no_, not without _me_, you won't! This is _my_ gift, do you hear? _Mine_!

DARIA: _(Raises an eyebrow at this:)_ Are you _sure_ you want to come, too? _(Smirks:)_ You're not _afraid_ your fashion _"comrades"_ might see you _with_ me there?

QUINN: _(Ponders this for a second, then:)_ I'll just say I _convinced_ you to give fashion make-overs a _try_, and they'll believe that! _(Shrugs as an afterthought:)_ Besides, Sandi just left town with her family and won't be back until early next week, and Tiffany and Stacy also just left town with _their_ families, and won't be back until the day _after_ Sandi comes back, and if anyone _else_ asks, I can just use the _same_ excuse.

DARIA: _(Rolls her eyes, usual deadpan:)_ Ah, I see you've gotten all of your _bases_ covered, haven't you?

QUINN: _(Shakes her head slowly in a "She just doesn't get it" way:)_ Daria, this isn't _football_ we're talking about here! I'm just watching out for what gift I'm getting, and when I find out what it is, I can tell Sandi and the _rest_ of the Fashion Club!

DARIA: Don't you mean brag about what your "gift" is to _Sandi--(smirks:)_?

QUINN: _(In a faux "Why, what do you mean?" voice, slightly annoyed:) Dariaaaa_, for the _last_ time, Sandi and I aren't _rivals_, we're _friends_!

DARIA: _(Usual deadpan:)_ Yeah, like _Caesar and Brutus_, and _Lee and Grant_.

QUINN: _Exactly_! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna _catalog_ all of the clothes in my closet--gotta make _room_ for that gift! _(Leaves to go upstairs)_

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: There is **no** excuse for you, **"cuz"**. Oh well, at least I can relieve my boredom a little by finding out about this clandestine meeting mom and dad are having with this "Darren" guy.) (Goes upstairs to her room)_

_(Scene changes to the Appleton mansion, at the same time)_

Darren, in a hooded dark blue sweatsuit, was almost finishing his usual morning jog around the mansion's grounds thinking about today, a day that could _change_ his life, possibly _forever_. It was a beautiful and clear summer morning, and the birds chirped their beautiful and clear melodies. Darren thought about the dense woods that surrounded the estate, which provided the perfect cover for him to do all the jogging he wanted without any prying from the media hordes that, while thinning out, were still surrounding the front gate of the Appleton property. He chuckled grimly to himself over the _"cover"_ part, for in a way, the word "cover" was _symbolic_, as he was about to meet the two people that gave him birth, and he was going to meet them under the _cover_ of a thin disguise. He felt _uneasy_ about this, especially after his call to Helen Morgendorffer the previous night. Darren thought about the _misgivings_ he had read in her conversation, and now he was going to meet her and his birth father, Jake Morgendorffer, under _less_ than truthful circumstances. He quickly put this thought in the back of his mind when he saw the mansion coming into view.

Darren jogged right up to the front door and rang the bell. Elenor let him into the foyer while holding a towel.

DARREN: _(While breathing in and out slowly to decrease his heart rate:)_ Hello, Elenor. It's a _great_ day today, isn't it?

ELENOR: _(Smiles, and hands him the towel:)_ It is, indeed, Master Darren, and hopefully it will be for your meeting with your birth parents. By the way, Master Curtis called while you were out. He wanted you to call him as soon as you came in.

DARREN: _(While wiping his face:)_ Ah, thank you, Elenor. I'll call him right now, and then take a shower and change. I'll eat breakfast afterwards. _(Hangs towel around his neck)_

ELENOR: Very good, Master Darren. _(Leaves)_

Darren went to his room upstairs to call Curtis. As soon as the first ring was heard, he could hear Curtis' excited voice on the other end.

CURTIS: Hey, _"scrub"_, I see you got that customary jog in!

DARREN: _(Grins:)_ Sure did--and did you get your "friend" _Lena_ in, too? I just hope it wasn't in the _early_ morning, or her daddy would've _skinned_ you alive!

CURTIS: _(Chuckles:)_ Nope, I hate to _disappoint_ you, but I got her to her house _just_ under her curfew, so I get to live yet _another_ day. Now, _what happened_? Did you _find_ your birth parents?

Darren told the entire story about how he was illegally adopted and what Turley had done to bring it about, and of his birth parents.

CURTIS: _(Sounding angry:)_ I can't believe that a doctor could _do_ something like _that_ for _money_! That--that _sick son of a--_

DARREN: --_Whoa_ there, compadre. I'm still _peeved_ at the "bad" doctor myself, but there's _nothing_ that can be done about it now. I'm going to go on with living for the _future_. Besides, Turley's _dead_, and I can't _keep_ hating a dead man.

CURTIS: _(Voice grows quiet:)_ Nah, I guess not. _(Lightens his tone:)_ At least you can now meet these--_Morgendorffers_, and your two _sisters_! _(Chuckles:)_ You _do_ realize if you get _tight_ with this _"Daria"_ and _"Quinn"_, you'll _have_ to keep the boys at _bay_, because _(gets into a masculine "protective" voice:) "No one's good enough for my little sisters"._

DARREN: _(Laughs:)_ Oh no, uh-uh, don't _go_ there. I've figured if they've lived their lives on their own _without_ me for _this_ long, they can take care of _themselves_. You're telling me this from your _own_ experiences, Mr. _Watley_ that you've had with _your_ two sisters, _Juanita_ and _Laflita_, so count me out, my good man.

CURTIS: _Bah_, it was worth a _try. (Pauses:)_ So, _when_ are you going to meet your birth parents?

DARREN: _(Hesitant:)_ Er, um--_today_. In fact, I'm going to be leaving right after breakfast.

CURTIS: _(Sounding surprised:) Oh_. Well, I don't want to keep you then--good luck with your meeting and call me later, okay?

DARREN: Sure, and--_Curtis? (Gets a pained look on his face)_

CURTIS: Hmm? What?

DARREN: Umm--_nothing_, it can wait until later. Take it easy, bud.

CURTIS: _(Pauses:)_ Chill. _(Hangs up)_

DARREN: _(Frowns, thought v.o. after hanging up: Nice going, you **idiot**. You didn't tell him of your little **ruse** that you have planned for the Morgendorffers. What are you **afraid** of--them getting their hands on your **money**? Maybe you think Curtis would tell you you're **crazy** and **wrong** for doing this, and that he might be **right**? Well, you're deep in it now, old boy, so you might as well go on with it, and let the chips fall where they may.) (Gets up in a huff and goes into his bathroom)_

_(Scene swicthes to Helen Morgendorffer's law office in Lawndale, about an hour later)_

In her office, Helen was probably more _agitated_ and _nervous_ than she had ever been before in her life _(if that was at all possible)_, far worse than even the night before she took her bar exam. She could barely concentrate on her work, nearly _snapped_ at her secretary _Marianne_ for a typing error over a summons correspondence, and almost forgetting to meet with _Eric_ over a deposition with a client. She sat at her desk, frowning in thought and rubbing her temples, bothered by what lie ahead with meeting this _"Darren"_ person. _Would_ he even come, and if so, what would he _say_? Would she _recognize_ him? _(Helen dismissed Jake possibly doing this for some reason,)_ In a moment, her main thought hit her like a ton of bricks: _What if he really was the son she thought had died almost twenty years ago in childbirth?_ Helen shook her head quickly and and closed off her mind from _that_ frame of thought.

HELEN: _(Thought v.o.: It's impossible Helen, the police had investigated for any mistakes on Turley's part, and finding none on that **bastard**, had cleared him. Your baby is **dead. Gone**. Turley's dead and gone, too. Oh, God...)_

The pressure became too much to bear as she suddenly got up and went to Marianne.

HELEN: _(In her falsetto sweet voice:)_ Marianne, could you _please_ tell Eric I'm _leaving_ for the rest of the day? Something _really_ personal and important has just come up that I couldn't _possibly_ ignore any longer. _(Leaves:)_ Tell him I'll call later to explain, _thank you_, dear!

MARIANNE: _(While typing:)_ All right, Helen. _(Thought v.o., sighs: Thank God she's gone! I don't know how much more of that I could've taken!)_

_(Scene changes to Jake's office, about ten minutes later)_

Jake was half-heartedly listening to a male client talk about an idea for a _liquid-filled drink coaster_, occasionally nodding his head as if he were listening. The other half of his mind was on the pending meeting with this _"Darren"_ fellow. Could it be possible this young man _was_ his son? What would _he_--check that, _Helen_ say? He was frowning, trying to figure out what to do when his client spoke.

CLIENT: _(Excited:)_ --And that's what _I_ think about it, Jake. What do _you_ think? Is it a _plausible_ idea?

JAKE: _(Startled, coming out of his stupor:) Huh_? Oh yeah, it could work if you sell it right. _(Looks at watch:)_ Uh--can we talk about this more _tomorrow_ before I go on vacation? I--just remembered a--_family_ errand I gotta attend to, and it can't wait.

CLIENT: Eh? Oh, sure. _(Gets up:)_ Same time, then?

JAKE: _(Getting up too:)_ Sure, okay. _(Shakes client's hand, client leaves)_

After a few minutes of gathering some papers in his briefcase, Jake was about to leave himself when he opened his door to find Helen coming up.

JAKE: _(Pleasantly surprised:) Helen_! I was just thinking about coming to _you_ to talk about--

HELEN: --The _meeting_, Jakey? Me too--I can't get _any_ work done, either. Maybe we should talk about what this--_"Darren's"_ going to say to us, and what will be said to _him_.

JAKE: Yeah! Where do you wanna go?

HELEN: _(Narrows her eyes:)_ We don't _dare_ go home, that's for _sure. (Looks at watch:)_ We've got about _six_ hours until he shows up. _(Thinks for a second:) I know_! Let's go to the _Sedimentary Rock Country Club and Links_! It's out of the way, and we can rent out a _guest_ room there for a few hours to freshen up. We'll call the girls and tell them we'll be late coming home, and we'll follow each other in our cars to the club, and then to the mall.

_(Note to reader: see the "Daria Diaries" for the location of the links)_

JAKE: _All right_! I can rent some clubs and get in a few holes on my golf game! _(Helen frowns at him)_ Oh _c'mon_, honey, _pleeeease_? It'll help me think and relax, and I haven't played in a few weeks! _(Gives "puppy dog" look Quinn gave him earlier)_

HELEN: _(Rolls her eyes, sighs:) Jake_, even if I _allowed_ you to do so, _how_ would you play the links? You don't have _any_ golfing clothing! Now, I know you played _Windsor Hills_ in your _suit_ following Erin's _wedding--(begins to get angry, talks through clenched teeth:)_ at _night_--but this is almost the _middle of the day in the heat of the summer_! You'll _burn up_!

_(Note to reader: for the "Suit & golf" thing, see the episode "I Don't")_

JAKE: _(Swallows hard, gathers the courage to speak:)_ D-don't worry, honey! I have a locker there with golf clothes and shoes, and some _extra_ clothes! so can I play? _(Begins to sound like a kid begging his mom to want something:) Huh? Huh? Huh? Hu--_

HELEN: _(Throws her arms in the air:)_ All _right_, Jake, all right! You can play some _damn_ holes!

JAKE: _(Giddy with delight:) YAHOO_! _(Hugs and kisses Helen:)_ Thanks, honey! You're the _greatest_! Last one there is a _rotten egg_! _(Runs out)_

HELEN: _(Sighs, closes Jake's door behind her, following Jake, thought v.o.: At least Jakey will be relaxed when we meet this "Darren". Too bad I can't say the same for myself.)_

_(The Appleton mansion, at the same time)_

Darren walked down the stairs with his bags and other belongings in hand. When he went outside, he was surprised to see the mansion's entire staff waiting for him in the front along with his aunt and uncle. Elenor and Claude took his bags.

DARREN: _(Smiles, looks around at everyone:)_ I see you're all here to see me off.

MILLIE: _(Walks up to Darren, hugs him:)_ We _all_ wanted to wish you good luck, Darren.

WILLIAM: _(Walks up to Darren, shakes his hand:) I_ want to wish you good luck as well, Darren.

DARREN: Thanks, Aunt Millie, Uncle Will. _(Goes up to a sobbing Elenor and hugs her:)_ Goodbye, Elenor--take care. Hey, don't cry--I'll be back soon.

ELENOR: _(Wipes her eyes:)_ I _know_ that, Master Darren--it's just I'm so _happy_ for you to get to meet your birth parents.

DARREN: _(Smiles, in a soft voice:)_ Thank you, Elenor.

Darren shook Claude and the rest of the staff's hands, and they in turn wished him luck. Darren then looked around frowning, perplexed.

DARREN: Say, _where's_ the rental car? I thought it would be out in front--?

WILLIAM: Ah, sorry, Darren--it's located about _five_ miles from here. We wanted to _slip_ you by the horde of reporters out front, and I don't think the limo will _work_ this time.

DARREN: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ Then _how_ will I get to the car, Uncle Will?

WILLIAM: Why, by the _helicopter_, of course. The car is sitting by an open field with our security team waiting for you. I figured that the reporters won't be able to _follow_ you if you go by that manner. Besides, _I'm_ going to--_occupy_ their attention while you get away. _(Motions to the waiting helicopter, which begins to warm up:)_ It's all _yours_, my boy, and once again, good luck.

MILLIE: Be sure to _call_ after your meeting, Darren--I _won't_ go to bed until you do. _(Hugs him one more time)_

DARREN: Okay, Aunt Millie, and _you_ be sure to take off for _Europe_ after I do.

WILLIAM: _(Steps in, grins:)_ Don't worry, Darren--_I'll_ make sure she does.

Darren walked out to the helicopter after Claude, Elenor, and the pilot put his bags in it, and got on, waving goodbye one more time. The helicopter then slowly lifted off the mansion's helipad and flew over the trees and out of sight.

MILLIE: _(Looking downcast:) Surely_ he'll be all right, William?

WILLIAM: _(Smugly, comes up beside Millie, and puts his arm around her shoulder while looking in the direction of the helicopter:)_ Not a _doubt_ of it, Millie. _(Looks at the front of the mansion gates:)_ Well, I best get to those reporters and tell them to leave _"Arthur Jr."_ alone. _(Thought v.o.: And let them concentrate on **me**.) (Gets into back of waiting limo nearby, and it leaves)_

Darren had requested a very _"ordinary-looking"_ car to rent so as not to draw attention to himself (as well as deciding not to fly into the airport near Lawndale via the private jet), and he got his wish when he got out of the helicopter and found out it was a green _Chevy Impala_. After shaking the hands of each of the members of his security team, he got in the car and went on his way to Lawndale, and no one other than his aunt and uncle, Curtis, Elenor, and Claude, knew where he was going. (Everyone else thought he was going on a "long vacation".) Darren glanced over in the front seat to the _new_ pictures Woo had scanned and sent to him over the Internet just an hour earlier. He now knew _how_ Helen and Jake Morgendorffer looked, but he _still_ didn't have any pictures of _Daria_ and _Quinn_. He figured if things went well, though, he'd _see_ his--_sisters_ soon enough.

_(The Morgendorffer home, about six-and-a-half hours later:)_

Daria was sitting on her bed watching _Sick, Sad World_.

TV ANNOUNCER: _(While theme music is playing:)_ Can your pets control your _mind_ while you're _asleep_? A _Sick, Sad World_ exclusive, next!

There was a knock on Daria's door.

DARIA: _(Clicks off TV, deadpan:)_ I'm _hibernating_. Come back in _200 years_.

Quinn came into Daria's room, exausted.

QUINN: _(Wipes her face with a cloth, wearing a pink sweatsuit:) Whew_! Well, I'm _finished_!

DARIA: If only that were _true_.

QUINN: Daria, are you ready to go to the mall? We don't have much time, you know.

DARIA: Yeah, I know. Don't worry--I've called a _cab_ to take us there, since mom and dad have both cars.

QUINN: _(Shocked:)_ Daria, are you _nuts_? Cabs cost _money_!

DARIA: _(In her most sardonic, deadpan, monotonic voice:)_ Wow, you _don't_ say--and here I'm thinking they were _free. Silly me_--I'd better call the cab place and _demand_ to know _why_ I have to _pay_ them for picking us up, the _bastards_.

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ You _know_ what I'm talking about. _Why_ don't we take the _bus_?

DARIA: Because the last bus scheduled to leave Cranberry Commons is at _5:30_, an _hour_ from now, and we don't know how long this _"meeting"_ will last.

QUINN: _(Annoyed:) I_ could've gotten a guy to take us there and back, you know--_Larry_ called a few hours ago to _confirm_ our date for tonight, an' I could've had _him_ to do all th' driving, an' he'd have us there an' back without mom an' dad knowing anything!

DARIA: _(Infamous dry wit:)_ But you were having so much _fun_ with your clothes _"cataloging"_. I didn't want to take you away from _that_.

QUINN: _(Thinks Daria paid her a compliment, touched:)_ Gee, that's _okay_, Daria, I wouldn't have _minded_.

DARIA: _(Shakes her head slowly, gives up trying to understand Quinn:)_ Look, we'll _share_ on the fare, okay?

QUINN: _(Becomes hesitant, looking around uncomfortably:)_ Um--gosh, Daria, I don't think I'll have enough money to cover _my_ half--

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Nice try, _"Slick"_, but I checked between your _matresses_ yesterday, and you have _plenty_ saved up, since mom and dad finally _cracked down_ and _forced_ you to save _more_ of the money you get from them for your allowance.

QUINN: _(Furious now:)_ You--you looked _there_? How _dare_ you? _(Turns around, preparing to leave:)_ Just for _that_, you can--

DARIA: _(Grins now:)_ --Go by _myself,_ and find out about the _"gift"_?

QUINN: _(Turns around, calms down:) Okay_, okay! Let me change! _(Mutters to herself, leaving:)_ Gotta find a _better_ place to hide--

DARIA: _(Gets up, goes to the door, and looking out to Quinn in the hallway, raising her voice, deadpan:)_ --Like the _secret_ place behind your _dresser_?

QUINN: _(Shuts her eyes, frowns:) AAARGH_! _(Slams her door)_

DARIA: _(Goes up to Quinn's door, voice the same:)_ How about the place behind your _mirrors_?

QUINN: _(From her room, muffled:) Shut up_, Daria!

Smirking, Daria went back to her room to call the cab company to say when she and Quinn wanted to be picked up. She was about to get the cell phone laying on her bed when it rang on its own, and she grabbed it and turned it on.

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ Hello--_hell_ headquarters.

VOICE: _(Ignoring Daria's comment:)_ Daria, it's me. Your father and I are--um, going to go _out_ tonight, and we may be a little late. You and Quinn can get that _extra frozen microwavable lasagna_ out of the freezer and have it for dinner tonight. Be good, sweetie. _(Hangs up)_

DARIA: _(To herself:) "That"_ again? She's _got_ to be kidding. (Pauses, smirks:) _Me_? _Good_? Yeah, _right. (Turns off the cell phone, then back on to call the cab company)_

_(Scene changes to the Sendimentary Rock Country Club and Links, rented guest room in the club)_

Sitting on the bed, Helen turned off her cell phone and looked over at Jake, who had played a nine-hole round of golf and had showered and put on some more clothes. He was laying on his back across the covers on the other side of the queen-sized bed, snoring with a happy look on his face. She rolled her eyes and got up to stretch, then reached over to shake and wake up her husband.

HELEN: Jake! _JAKE_! It's time to go! Wake up!

JAKE: _(Groggy:)_ Hmmyeah, I'mup. _(Goes back to sleep)_

HELEN: _(Angry:)_ JAKE, _WAKE UP_! _(Jake leaps up off the bed)_

JAKE: _(Looks around, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed:)_ I'm up, Helen! Hey, did you call the girls?

HELEN: _(Sighs:) Yes_, Jake--I told them we'd be late coming in, and for them to get dinner out of the freezer.

JAKE: Good! _(Pauses:)_ Um--ready to _go_, dear?

HELEN: _(Glares at Jake:)_ As ready as I'll _ever_ be, Jakey. _(Gets up:)_ Let's go, and _remember_, let _me_ do the talking. Pay the desk on our way out.

JAKE: _(Frustrated:)_ Aw, gee, honey--can't I say _anything_ to this guy?

HELEN: _(While opening the door out of the room, sounding annoyed:) Yes_, Jake--you can say _hello. (Leaves out with Jake)_

JAKE: _All rig_--geez, Helen, _just_ "hello"?

HELEN: _(Stops in her tracks really angry, Jake almost runs over her:)_ Yes, Jake--_just_ hello! Now, be _quiet_ and follow me there, okay?!

JAKE: _(Quietly, a little timidly:) O-okay_, dear. _(Looks down sadly)_

HELEN: _(Sighs, walks up to hug Jake:)_ I'm--I'm _sorry_ for shouting at you, Jakey--I guess I'm a little--_nervous. (Frowns, becoming angry:)_ How _dare_ this--this--_"Darren"_ do this to us, by _dragging_ up those _horrible_ memories like this? Our baby is _dead_! We _saw_ the body!

JAKE: _(Reluctantly speaking:)_ Helen--well--uh--

HELEN: _(Inquisitive look:)_ What, Jake?

JAKE: --Well, what if this _"Darren"_ guy _is_--

HELEN: _(Suddenly in Jake's face, enraged:) --DON'T YOU **DARE** GO THERE, JAKE! OUR BABY IS DEAD! DO YOU HEAR?! DEAD! (Helen's screaming draws the attention of some of the other guests, who are looking out of their rooms, and she notices:) WHAT-IN-THE-HELL-ARE-YOU-ALL-LOOKING-AT?! (All the doors shut at the **same** time)_ Now, let's get the _hell_ out of here, and put this _"Darren"_ guy in his _place_, Jake! _(She storms off, and a quivering Jake follows Helen down the hallway)_

_(In the "Stopover Motel", beside a highway near Lawndale, about the same time)_

Darren stepped out of his room with a map of Lawndale and Woo's pictures of his birth parents, and took a deep breath. He put on his sunglasses, looked at his watch, went out to his car, and got in.

DARREN: _(Thought v.o.: This is it, hop to it.) (Starts up the car and drives out of the motel's parking lot)_

_(Scene is now at Cranberry Commons mall, about 15 minutes later)_

Darren walked into the mall's food court area and looked around. It was a large, open, and airy space, with several angled glass panes in the ceiling above the seating area. The area was surrounded by tall interior trees that were embedded in separate plant beds that encompassed the area on three sides. Beyond this, there were benches on each side. Darren looked at his watch, and saw that he had come a little early, so he decided to get a snack at a nearby food stand while waiting. It was called _It's A Nutty, Nutty, Nutty World_. He ordered a soda and some peanuts, looked _strangely_ at the cashier, who had given the company's customary _greeting_, and went to find a seat at one of the tables in the middle of the area, so that the Morgendorffers would be able to see him.

_(Note to reader: Of course, for the "greeting", see "It Happened One Nut")_

Helen and Jake walked into the mall's main shopping area and began to make their way to the food area.

HELEN: _(While hurrying along, frowning:)_ Now, _remember_, Jake--let _me_ do the talking to this--this--_phony_.

JAKE: _(Staying at Helen's pace, silly grin on his face:) Okay_, Helen!

Meanwhile, on the other end of the mall, Daria and Quinn were just coming in.

QUINN: Daria, _how_ do we find mom and dad?

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ You could _hone_ in on mom's _purse_ and dad's _wallet_, and we'd be there in _no_ time flat.

QUINN: _(Glares at Daria:) Ha_.

DARIA: _(In a serious tone:)_ I guess we should put ourselves in their place and wonder, _"If we're gonna meet someone, where would we go"?_ I'm thinking one of the restaurants or the _food court. (Considers:)_ Let's check out the food court first. It's open, and we can see them easily from far away without them seeing us first. _(Begins to walk in the direction of the food court)_

QUINN: _(Becomes excited, walks with Daria:)_ I can't wait to see what _gift_ they're gonna get me! I hope it's something that I really _deserve_!

DARIA: _(More deadpan, looks around in a faux concerned way:)_ I don't know if they can fit a _firing squad_ in here, Quinn--now a _guillotine_, that's _feasible_. Or, perhaps a _stretch rack_--maybe--

QUINN: _(Angry:)_ --Oh, be _quiet_, Daria! _(Rolls her eyes while Daria smirks)_

Darren was chewing the peanuts from his bag when he caught a wide-eyed glimpse of his birth parents, _nearly_ choking on the peanuts. He quickly gulped down the soda and stood up to get their attention.

Helen and Jake were walking into the food court when they saw a young man standing in the middle of the area looking at them. Helen _gasped_, wide-eyed, while Jake, much as she expected, stopped and looked at his wife without noticing what was going on.

JAKE: _(Confused:)_ Helen, what's _wrong_?

Helen said nothing. She simply stared at this young fellow, and slowly walked up to him, with Jake in tow. He looked _quite_ tall and handsome, with broad shoulders, and a chin that looked _somewhat_ like Jake's, but not as _pronounced_. He had a full head of wavy reddish-brownish hair, and deep-blue eyes. _Her_ eyes. In fact, he looked a lot like _her_ from the chin up.

_(Note to reader: Draw that, you fanfiction-artists--please?)_

HELEN: _(Stares at him, completely at a loss for words:)_ I--I--oh my _God_. Are--are you--_Darren_? _(Reaches out to shake his hand, trembling)_

DARREN: _(Himself a bit nervous, shakes her hand:)_ Y-yes, ma'am. _(Also looks at Jake:)_ I'm the person you talked to last night, Mrs. Morgendorffer. _(Reaches out to shake Jake's hand:)_ And _you're_ Mr. Morgendorffer, sir?

JAKE: _(Shakes Darren's hand:) Huh_? Oh, yeah. _(Looks at Helen, in a low, sly voice:) Get'em_, honey. _(Helen glares at Jake, Darren frowns at him, perplexed)_

DARREN: _(Confused:)_ I'm sorry, but--?

HELEN: _(Coming out of her stupor:) DAMN IT, JAKE_! _(Begins to cry:)_ Can't you see he's our _son_? _Look_ at him! I was _wrong_! _Thank God_ I was wrong! _(To Darren's surprise, she grabs him in a fierce hug, Darren stands there, stunned)_

JAKE: _(Stares hard at Darren, eyes narrow, then suddenly wide-open:)_ Oh my God, Helen, you're _RIGHT_! _(He hugs both Helen and the still-stunned Darren, and starts to cry as well, while some nearby shoppers gawk at the scene for a moment, and then go about their business)_

Daria and Quinn arrived at the edge of the food court just in time to see both their parents hugging what appeared to be a young man. From their vantage point, however, they could only see the _back_ of the man's head. Both were still too far away to get too close without their parents spotting them, so Daria stopped, (as did Quinn) and watched in stunned silence.

DARIA: _(Eyelids slightly going wide:)_ What the _hell_--?

QUINN: _(Narrows her eyes:) EWWWW_! What're mom and dad _doing_ with that guy? _(Does a bit of a double-take, gasps:)_ I _can't_ see his face, but I'll bet he's _cute_! _(Daria rolls her eyes and approaches Quinn, gently taking her arm) Huh_? What--

DARIA: _(Index finger on her mouth, speaking in a low voice:) Shhh_! You want mom and dad, and that _"Darren"_ guy to _notice_ us? Let's find a place around here where they _can't_ see us.

Both Quinn and Daria sat down at one of the benches behind the trees. They saw the young man, with his back still to them, sit down at a table with their parents, who were facing both Morgendorffer sisters. Daria looked around in frustration.

DARIA: _Damn_! We can't _risk_ getting any closer without our parents seeing us.

QUINN: _(Looks at the back of the head of the young man dreamily, sighs:)_ That's _okay_, Daria. I could sit here and _watch_ this guy _all night_.

DARIA: _(Raises an eyebrow, deadpan:)_ Quinn, you _can't_ see this guy's _face_, remember? How do you know what he _looks_ like?

QUINN: _(Still in a dreamy voice:)_ Oh, I _know_, Daria--trust me, I know. _(Daria gives a "Why do I even bother to ask"? look at her)_

Darren sat down at the table wide-eyed with his birth parents a bit _shaken_. He had half-expected his birth mother and father to be _skeptical_ over seeing him and hearing what he was going to say, but their reaction caught him totally _off-guard_. He took a deep breath and began to speak.

DARREN: Hello, er--_(looks for words:)_ this is a little _awkward_, you understand--what should I _call_ you two?

HELEN: _(Wipes her eyes, now a little lost for words herself:)_ Um, well--that's a _good_ question, er--_Darren_--do you want to call us just--well--

DARREN: --No, uh, offense, ma'am--but would you and your husband mind if I just called you _Helen_ and _Jake_?

HELEN: _(Looks slightly disappointed he didn't say "Mom" and "Dad", but agrees:)_ Oh--sure we don't! _(Looks at Jake:) Right_, Jake?

Jake simply stared at Darren with a _fatherly_ glaze in his eyes, slightly smiling. Darren looked at Jake a little _uneasily_.

JAKE: _(Thought v.o.: I can't believe what I'm seeing. A son. My son. Take **that**, Old Man--)_

HELEN: --_JAKE! (Jake snaps out of his trance)_ Jake, Darren _asked_ if we wouldn't mind if he called us by our _first_ names! You don't _mind_, do you?

JAKE: _(Looks slightly disappointed Darren doesn't want to call them "Mom" and "Dad", agrees:)_ Oh--_sure_, honey! _No problem! (Holds a thumb up at Darren, with a silly grin on his face)_

Darren looked at the two with a quick, strange look on his face, eyebrow raised, as if to say, _"What in the world is going on with these people?"_, then reluctantly went on. He talked to them about the deaths of his (adopted) parents (making sure to _change_ their names), and saying quickly that he didn't want to talk about _how_ it happened, at least not right now. Helen cried over their son's loss, saying she _now_ understood why Darren would want to call her and Jake by their _first_ names _(Jake nodded in agreement)_, for Darren felt he would _disrespect_ his deceased (adopted) parents otherwise. Darren then talked about the tape his (adopted) parents made, (with some _alterations_) and about the _Barnes Adoption Agency_, and of hiring _Woo_ (using some of the money his parents "left" him from their will) to find out what was going on. He then began to talk about his and Woo's trip to the hospital, and of finding a sick and dying Turley. All of what was told was _stunning_ to Helen and Jake, who had not said a word up to this point. Helen now spoke up.

HELEN: _(Completely shocked:)_ An adoption agency that looked legitimate on the _surface_, but was illegitimate _underneath_? B-but _how_ did you get to be _adopted_, Darren--_(frowns:)_ and what does that dead _bastard_ Turley have to do with it?

DARREN: _(Looking slightly surprised:)_ You _know_ Turley's _dead_? _(Both Helen and Jake nod, Helen tells Darren about the call she made last night)_ Hmm--now when I _think_ about it, I suppose you _would've_ called to find out about Turley. _(Pauses:)_ Well, you two had best _prepare_ yourselves for what I'm about to tell you the night I was born. I can only hope you can keep _control_ of your _anger_, though I won't blame you if you _can't. (Helen's eyes get wide, looks at Jake, who immediately responds)_

JAKE: Don't worry, Helen--I _promise_ not to go _crazy_ over this. I won't make a _scene_, dear. _(Looks at Darren seriously, talking in a quiet tone:)_ He's our _son_.

HELEN: _(Stares at Jake, almost in rare admiration:)_ Very well, Jake--go on, Darren.

DARREN: All right--oh, and _one_ more thing--this story is _difficult_ enough to tell as it _is_. I'd like to ask if both of you could please not _interrupt_ me to ask questions while I'm talking. _(Both nod, Darren goes on)_

_(Flashback: Turley's hospital room with Darren sitting by the bed, Turley in it, Martha and Woo standing beside it)_

TURLEY: _(Looking at his wife, Martha:)_ --Honey, it happened while you were out of town visiting some of your friends. _(Looks back and forth between Darren, Martha, and Woo:)_ You see, I was in some serious gambling _debts_ with some loan sharks, and I was counting on a pregnant _runaway_ the "agency" had sent to me to have a baby that she wanted to _give away_. I heard that some people wanted to pay up to _$50,000_ for a baby to the "agency", and with my standard _50% cut_, I could settle up easily with the loan sharks and have _plenty_ left over for that trip you wanted us to take to _Aruba_, remember, dear? _(Martha rolls her eyes)_ It was supposed to be the _usual_ thing: The mother has the baby for the "agency", which pays a small "fee" to the mother, give the baby to the "agency", and the "parents" pay the "agency" money and _take_ the baby. No _muss_, no _fuss_--like _clockwock_.

_(Present: Helen narrows her eyes in anger at this "trade"--Darren continues)_

Turley looked down for a second, then continued.

TURLEY: Only _this_ time, something went _wrong_. When the baby, a boy, was born, it was _already_ dead, deprived of oxygen. I was stunned, I couldn't believe it. The young woman then told me she had been _drinking_ and _smoking_ like there was _no_ tomorrow. I wanted to _beat the hell_ out of her for what she had done--I mean, _how_ could someone _do_ something like _that_, right? _(Darren and the others roll their eyes at Turley's hypocrisy)_ I figured it would draw the cop's attention, though, if I did, so I backed off. Besides, it was no skin off of her, she had said, she _didn't_ want the baby anyway, but then, she had the _nerve_ to demand some sort of _"compensation"_ for her _"trouble"_. I gave her a _hundred_ bucks, and told her to beat it. I was in some deep _crap_ now. The sharks had told me to have the money day after tomorrow, or they'd _kill_ me--or _you_, honey. _(Martha looks stunned)_ I couldn't let them do _that_, could I? _(Pauses:)_ Anyway, I was at my wit's end. I put the dead baby's body in a _plastic bag_ to _throw away_ for later, and cleaned up the place.

_(Present: Darren stops for a moment to gather his thoughts. Helen and Jake look horrified. Darren then continues.)_

TURLEY: _(Looking at a horrified Darren:)_ Hey, look--the baby eventually got a _decent_ burial--but I'm getting _ahead_ of myself. It was getting late, and I was getting _desperate_. What in the _hell_ was I going to _do_? I sat in the middle of the floor, staring at nothing. I don't know how _long_ I was out of it, but then I heard a car coming up outside, and that snapped me out of it. A fella and his pregnant wife got out of the car and came up to the house. It was clear to me that she was really in labor, and she about to have the baby any _second. (Sees Darren narrow his eyes, angered)_ I know _what_ you're _thinking_, so take it _easy_ son, if you want to know _who_ your parents are, okay? _(Pauses:)_ I had to make a split-second decision. Yeah, it all came to me right _then and there_.

_(Present: Helen and Jake look at each other in a **terrible** realization--they begin to get a sinking feeling in their stomachs--Darren keeps talking)_

TURLEY: These people named--let's see,--a--Helen--and--a--Jake Morgendiff--no, wait--_Morgendorffer_, yeah, Morgendorffer--that's it--came up to my home. I saw the clock and it was about _2:20 a.m._ The father was completely _crazy_, I'd say a _nut_, even more than most fathers usually are when they're gonna be daddies. _(Present: Jake frowns, but says nothing)_ The mother was a _little_ calmer, at least. Well, anyway, they said they had heard of me from their _neighbors_, and so they came to me, seeing as they were so far from the hospital, and that the paramedics couldn't get to them in time. I told them they made the _right_ choice, and prepared everything to get Mrs. Morgendorffer ready to have her baby. Her husband and I laid her her up on the table, and I then--_(looks around at everyone:) made up_ a diagnosis that she needed to have a _cesarean_.

_(Present: Helen looks as she is about to faint, but Jake holds her steady, looking enraged, but to his credit, says nothing--Darren continues)_

TURLEY: Of course, for my plan to work, I needed the _father_ out of the way. So I poured a _little_ of the ether for the _"surgery"_ on Mrs. Morgendorffer on the _mask_ I gave to him, just enough that he couldn't _smell_ it, but enough to knock him _out_.

_(Present: Jake's eyes begin to turn red from being so angry, but Helen turns his head to her and mouths, "Control, Jakey, control"--it seems to work, for Jake calms down--Darren looks a bit apprehensive, but continues)_

TURLEY: Mrs. Morgendorffer _flipped_ when she saw her husband fall. I guess she figured he was something of a _wimp_, and didn't seem surprised.

_(Present: Jake's back up to "Explode Mode", now. Darren looks at him, slightly concerned, but Helen, holding Jake, nods at Darren to continue--which he reluctantly does)_

TURLEY: I then went into _"emergency overdrive"_, telling her that her husband had fainted, and I couldn't help him _and_ her. Under that pressure, I guessed she'd _crack_, which she _did_.

_(Present: Now it's Helen's turn to get angry, with Jake holding her tightly, and motioning to Darren to continue the story, and he does with a slight pause)_

TURLEY: After I put Mrs. Morgendorffer out with the ether, I performed the cesarean cut on her to make it _look_ legitimate and took the baby out--_you_, Darren. You were crying and pretty healthy. I put a little _more_ ether on Mr. Morgendorffer's face to keep him out a little longer, and then called the "agency". Someone came over from the illegitmate side of the "agency", and I _gave_ them the baby--_you_. The legitimate side of the "agency" got the _story_ of the runaway mother and the unwanted baby, which they gave to your adoptive parents, Darren. I then took the dead baby and told the Morgendorffers it--_their_ baby--had _died_. No one, save for your birth parents, really questioned what happened to it. I simply told the authorities the baby died from a lack of oxygen, that and my _reputation_ as a good obstetrician saved me from being exposed. The Morgendorffers were natually _devastated_, of course, but I figured they were young enough to have _more_ kids, you would be going to a _(Present: Darren almost says **"rich"**, but changes it to) good_ family, and the dead baby would have a _decent_ funeral, whereas I would get my _money_. The way I saw it, _everyone_ would come out on _top_, eh? _(Slight smile while Darren grows **furious**)_

Helen was softly crying now, with Jake holding her tenderly in his arms and thinking about ripping Turley's _spine_ out of his back.

DARREN: _(Pauses:)_ At that moment, I--_lost_ it. I _grabbed_ Doctor Turley's _neck_ and began to _choke_ him. If Woo and Mrs. Turley hadn't _pulled_ me away from him, I might've--_(grows quiet, looks down, closes eyes in pain)_

Helen got up suddenly and went to Darren's side, hugging him. At first, Darren grew _rigid_, but then he began to hug her _back_. Jake got up and put a hand on Helen and Darren's backs.

DARREN: _(Recovers:)_ Turley told me about the _cemetary_ where you buried the baby you _thought_ was me. _(Helen leans against Jake, sobbing)_ It was _abandoned_--I figured you'd want to _forget_ about what happened as soon as possible when I discovered you wanted to leave Dumas.

HELEN: _(Looks alarmed through her tears:)_ It's _true_ we wanted to get _away_ from Dumas, but we _didn't_ forget _you_, Darren! We just--

DARREN: _(Cuts her off gently:)_ --You just didn't want to _remember_ the _pain_. It's okay--_really_. I don't want to remember the _deaths_ of my (adopted) parents. I _know_ how you feel, _believe_ me.

Daria had watched her parents go through a _gamut_ of emotions with almost a sense of _morbid_ curiousity. From what appeared to be _joy_ for some reason or another, turned into _anger_, and then to _sorrow_. Perhaps for the _first_ time in her life, Daria was thoroughly and utterly _confused_. _What_ had been said to her parents from this--_"Darren"_ that had done such a _number_ on them like _this_? She looked over to Quinn, and for the first time, saw _confusion_ on her face, too.

QUINN: _(Looks lost:)_ Daria, _what's_ going on? _Why_ are mom and dad so _sad_? What did that handsome guy _say_ to them?

DARIA: _(Searches for words, then looks determined, frowns:)_ I don't know, Quinn, but I'm sure as _hell_ am gonna go and _find_ out--_(gets up)_

At this moment, _Jodie_ and _Mack_ arrived behind Daria and Quinn just as Daria was about to go over to the food court.

JODIE: Hey, Daria, Quinn. _(Daria and Quinn are shaken a bit, Jodie and Mack are taken aback for an instant:)_ Hey, are you two _all right_? We didn't mean to _scare_ you guys.

DARIA: _(Looks at Quinn:)_ No, um--we were just a little _startled_, that's all, _right_, Quinn?

QUINN: _(Gets Daria's "signal":)_ Uh, yeah, right, _startled. (Looks back at the food court, then back to the group)_

Jodie looked between the two and surmised _immediately_ that something wasn't _quite_ right, but decided to not press the issue right now. Mack then spoke.

MACK: _(Smiles:)_ Hey, you two just _hanging out_, or what? Jodie and I wanted to get out of our home _prisons_, so we came down here to look around.

DARIA: _(Resumes her expressionless tone:)_ Quinn and I came to the mall to just look around like you. You know, I thought with the summer coming into full _bloom_, you guys would be gone on vacation just about like everyone _else_ in Lawndale. Jane and her mom went to Arizona, and my parents are planning to take Quinn and _force_ me _kicking_ and _screaming_ to the beach next week.

MACK: _(Smirks:) Kevin and Brittany's_ not here--at least for a week, and _that's_ vacation enough for me. _(Everyone snickers at this)_ Thank God for _combination football and cheerleading camps._ Hopefully, when they get _back_, me and my family will be gone to California to visit my grandparents.

JODIE: I'm going to a _college_ expo in Seattle for two weeks next month. You know my dad--_push, push, push_ for college. I figure I can get in some sightseeing and visit my aunt in nearby _Redmond_.

DARIA: _(Smirks:) Redmond_, eh? See if you can go by that _video game company_ and pick up a copy of _Cyberkron II_. I've been itching to find out if it's good as the original. _(Jodie smirks at this)_

QUINN: _(In a bit of a rush, steals glances at the food court:)_ Um, Daria, I'm gonna use the _restroom_, okay?

DARIA: _(Occupied with talking to Jodie and Mack:)_ Sure, Quinn--_(smirking:)_ don't _fall_ in. _(Mack and Jodie laugh at this, while Quinn gives Daria a quick glare, and goes on)_

Darren and his birth parents were walking toward the outside front of the mall.

HELEN: _(Surprised:)_--A _DNA_ test? I guess I can call the hospital and _arrange_ for one--but I can take one _look_ at you and _know_ you're _our_ son! _Why_ do you want one?

JAKE: _(Same reaction:)_ Yeah, _why_? _(Leans over to Helen, low voice:) What's_ DNA, honey? _(Helen looks up and sighs)_

DARREN: I just want it to be _official_, that's all. Sounds a little _crazy_, I know, but I want everything to be on the _level_, with _no_ doubts. _(Grins:)_ Besides, wouldn't you want my _sisters_ or any _extended_ family members to have no _lingering_ questions about whether or not I'm related to both of you by _blood_?

HELEN: _(Eyes grow large:) OHMYGOSH_! The _girls_! _How_ will they _react_ to _this_, Jake?

JAKE: _(Smiles:)_ Gosh, Helen, I think they're gonna be _happy_! _(Looks at Darren, laughs:)_ I know _I_ am!

HELEN: _(Chuckles:)_ I suppose you're _right_, Jakey. _(Turns to Darren, gasps:)_ Oh, my _goodness_! Are you staying at a _hotel_ or something? Because if you are, you can come stay with _us_, young man, and I'm _not_ taking _"no"_ for an answer! We have a guest room for you!

JAKE: _("Back up" mode:)_ Yeah, _damn_ straight! My son's not gonna stay in some out-of-the-way-dump!

DARREN: _(Smiles:)_ Actually, it's at a nice motel by the highway--the _Stopover Motel_. Let me go to my motel room, check out, and come to your home.

HELEN: _(Ponders:)_ The _Stopover Motel_, yes, Jake and I know where that is--do you know where we _live_, Darren? We can _follow_ you, and--

DARREN: _--1111 Glen Oaks Lane_, Helen. _(Shows Helen and Jake his map:)_ See, I've even _circled_ it. I found _Cranberry Commons_ with no trouble, so your home shouldn't be any problem to get to, either. I can drive by the motel, get my stuff and check out. I'll meet you at your house in a while.

HELEN: _(Considers:)_ Well, all right, Darren, if that's what you think is best. _(Grabs Jake's arm:)_ Come on, Jakey, and then we can tell the girls that they have a--_(sobs, hugs a startled Darren again:)_ a--_brother_!

JAKE: _(Grins like an idiot:)_ Okay, Helen, but can we get some _groceries_ first? _(Looks at Darren:)_ Since he'll be staying _with_ us for a while, don't you think we'll need more _food_ in the house? _(Helen rolls her eyes)_

HELEN: _(Exasperated sigh at Jake:)_ I _suppose_, Jakey.

DARREN: _(Begins to reach for his wallet:)_ I can _help_ pay--

JAKE & HELEN: _(Adamant tone:) Absolutely not_!

DARREN: But--

HELEN & JAKE: _(Same tone:) NO_! _(Both leave)_

Shaking his head slowly and chuckling, Darren watched Helen and Jake leave through the front doors, and then he went to the mall's side doors to get to his car. He had walked about a minute when he saw a bright-reddish long-haired young girl wearing a long-sleeved pink shirt with a yellow butterfly on the front of it, and blue jeans approaching him with a _"cute"_ smile on her face, and her arms behind her back. Darren _sighed_ to himself. _Another_ girl attracted to him. When he had thought about it, _several_ girls had asked _him_ out at Eastward since Stephanie died, and he had turned them all _down_ because he was _still_ in mourning. Didn't they _understand_ that he needed time to get _past_ what had happened? It wasn't until Woo had pointed out his _looks_ that it had occured to him about those times with the girls. Darren kindly gave the girl a _"Here we go again"_ look as she spoke.

GIRL: _(Gasps when she sees his face, goes into her singy-songy, slightly seductive voice:)_ Hi, I'm _Quinn_. You're that _"Darren"_ guy, aren't you?

DARREN: _(Surprised:)_ Uh--yes, I am. _(Realizes something:)_ Say, _how_ did you know my name? _(Narrows eyes:) Wait a minute_. Did you say _"Quinn"_, as in Quinn _Morgendorffer_?

QUINN: _(Delighted:) Yeah_! So, you _do_ know my name, an' who I am! I saw you with my parents at the food court. _(Hesitates:)_ Um, they seemed to be _crying_ an' stuff when you were talkin' to them--

DARREN: _(Trying to recover from the fact that he's talking to a girl who could be his sister:)_ Ah, I can _explain_ that--

QUINN: _(Cuts him off:)_ --No, no, it's _okay_! I know the _whole_ story!

DARREN: _(Shocked:)_ You _DO_?

QUINN: _Sure_! You work at _Cashman's_, right? _(Narrows her eyes:)_ You're probably _new_ there because I _definitely_ would have seen you, since that is _the_ place to go for fashion in Lawndale. You see, I'm guessing you told my parents that you agreed to get the _birthday gift_ they wanted for me--of course, when you told them the _price_ of the gift, they got really _upset_ and began to _cry_. You calmed them down, and then told them they could pay for it in _monthly installments. (Smirks to Darren:)_ You can tell me _what_ they're gonna get me, you know--maybe over _dinner_ at _Chez Pierre_?

Darren looked at this girl, eyes wide open and mouth _agape_, utterly _stunned_, as if she had gone completely out of her _mind. This_ was his _sister_?

QUINN: _(Keeps talking:)_ You're _shocked_ to be going out with someone like _me_? Well, I can't _blame_ you, Darren. _Lots_ of guys want to be _with_ me, but I gotta say _you_ might the _cutest_ one I've _ever_ met. _(Reaches into her pocket, pulls out a compact:)_ Wait a second, will you? Gotta put on some rouge. _(Begins to fix her face, while Darren continues to look at her, speechless)_

Daria looked around for Quinn, _annoyed_. After talking to Jodie and Mack, she had called for another taxi to pick her and Quinn up. She had then waited for Quinn to come out of the restroom, and when Quinn didn't show, Daria knew something was _up_. She checked the food court out, and not seeing her parents or that _"Darren"_ fellow, had put it all together. Quinn probably had _followed_ them out, possibly wanting to talk to this --_"Darren"_ alone about her _"gift"_--and possibly a _date_. Daria's suspicion was correct when she came to the side door and found Quinn talking to _"Darren"_. Upon her _first_ glance of his face, which was somewhat _handsome_, even though Daria wasn't the type to say something like that _outright_, save once for _Trent_, and--_nope, that was a **passing fancy**, so put it out of your mind, Daria_--there was something about him that looked _familiar_, somehow, but she couldn't seem to _place_ it. Daria reluctantly walked up to them.

Darren was totally confused. This girl, possibly his _sister_, seemed to think he worked for _Cashman's_ clothing, and was going to get a _"gift"_ for her from her, and possibly his, birth parents! He was about to say something when he looked past Quinn and saw a plain-looking, short girl with brown shoulder-length hair, and wearing large, round-rimmed glasses and a green jacket over a dark orange shirt, with a black skirt and large, black, Doc Marten boots, coming towards them. As Darren watched her, he immediately noticed that she seemed to have a look of _no_ emotion on her face. He became a bit _concerned_ over _this_ latest development--surely _she_ wasn't _interested_ in him as well? Quinn looked at Darren, caught his gaze, and _frowned_.

QUINN: _Daria_, do you _mind_? I'm trying to talk to this _cute_ guy Darren about my gift!

DARIA: _(Deadpan:) Perish_ the thought. I'm just wanting to tell you that when mom and dad come home and not find us there, they're gonna _freak_ out. _(Looks at Darren:)_ If you don't mind, uh--_"Darren"_, we've got to go.

DARREN: _(Looks at Daria, eyebrow cocked:) Daria_, as in Daria _Morgendorffer_?

DARIA: _(Glances at Darren, a little surprised:)_ Um, yeah, I'm Quinn's _si--_

QUINN: _(Panics, cuts her off:) --Cousin_! She's my cousin! _(Daria frowns at Quinn)_

DARREN: _(Looks at Quinn strangely for a second, smiles at Daria:)_ I talked to you last night over the phone, Daria. You see--

QUINN: _(Eyes wide open:)_ --You don't want to get _her_ gift--Daria's birthday _just_ passed! You're getting _my_ gift, okay?

DARREN: _(Having enough:)_ Look--I'm _sorry_, Quinn, but I _don't_ know _what_ you're talking about! I wasn't here to talk to your parents about getting you a _"gift"_ from them! I came here to talk to your parents about a _baby_ they _thought_ they had lost almost _twenty_ years ago!

DARIA: _(Narrows her eyes:) Hold it._ What do you mean _thought_ they had lost? _Our_ mom and dad _(Quinn frantically nods her head "no" to Darren:)_ told us that we _almost_ had a brother who was born, but died stillborn. What would _you_ know about that?

DARREN: _(Dramatic pause:)_ Because _I'm_ that brother, Daria, and I'm _alive_.

Daria and Quinn looked at Darren wide-eyed, speechless, then Quinn _fainted_.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 - Getting To Know You

Quinn walked through a long hallway with doors, giggling, and having the _time_ of her life. As she opened each door, there was a really handsome guy dressed in a suit behind it.

GUY #1: Quinn, go out with _me_!

QUINN: Nah, but I'll call you, _Guy_, okay? _(Slams door in his face)_

GUY #2: Quinn, go out with _me_!

QUINN: Maybe _next_ week, Guy, okay? _(Slams door in his face)_

The same sequence continued until she reached the end of the hallway and came to a large red door. When she opened it, she saw a _really_ handsome guy standing behind it.

QUINN: _(Completely spellbound, dreamy:) You_! I wanna go out with _you_!

GUY: _(Hooking his arm around hers:)_ Of course. By the way, my name's _Darren_. What's yours?

QUINN: _(In a seductive tone:)_ It's _Quinn_.

DARREN: _(Looks stunned:)_ D-did you say _Quinn_?

QUINN: _(Looks confused:)_ Um, yeah--so what?

DARREN: _(Now delighted:) My God_, you're my _SISTER_!! _(Hugs her, kisses her on cheek)_

QUINN: _(Terrified:)_ What are you _doing_? _Heelp meee--(everything goes black)_

Quinn struggled in the darkness, and then suddenly the blackness began to recede as she opened her eyes. She saw Daria looking down on her with a slight _smirk_, holding her hand, and Darren looking at her from over Daria's shoulder with more of a _concerned_ look, as well as several other people behind him.

DARIA: _Wakey, wakey_, _"cuz"_.

DARREN: Is she all right, Daria?

DARIA: Eh, she'll _live_--more or less. Come on, Quinn. _(Helps Quinn up)_

DARREN: _(Motions to the other shoppers:)_ She'll be fine, thanks. _(The shoppers disperse)_

QUINN: _(Looks at Darren warily, talks in a drained voice:)_ Then it _wasn't_ a dream. Y-you really _are_ our _brother_?

DARREN: Pending a _DNA test_ at the hospital tomorrow, by which I'm _assuming_ will be positive, _yes_.

DARIA: _(In a deadpan, skeptical tone, hiding her shock:)_ And how, pray tell did this _miracle_ come about? I can't believe mom and dad became _necromancers_ and _conjured_ you up.

DARREN: _(Chuckles at Daria:)_ No, but with what's happened to me these past few _weeks_, I feel like I've _returned_ from the dead. Look, talk to your parents _first_. They _invited_ me over to your house to spend the night. _(Grows quiet:)_ I'd--like to get to _know_ both of you better, if you'll _let_ me.

DARIA: _(Looking a bit surprised by his frankness:)_ Um--_sure_, okay--I--_guess_.

QUINN: _(Very quiet, looks down:)_ Y-yeah, that sounds _good_.

All three stared at each other a little awkwardly, then Daria spoke.

DARIA: Well, we'll see you at our house, then. Come on, Quinn. We have a taxi waiting on us in the front. _(Quinn looks at Darren red-faced, completely embarassed, while Darren looks as he wants to say something, but holds back)_

Darren watched them go back into the mall, then he went to his car.

DARREN: _(Thought v.o., frowns: Well, Darren, why didn't you offer them a **ride**? That first-time little get-together went swimmingly well--like a sinking **rock**.) (Starts up car and backs out of parking space)_

Daria and Quinn walked out to the front of the mall for their taxi ride and waited in the pick-up zone.

QUINN: _(Still shell-shocked:)_ I can't _believe_ I came _on_ to a guy who _might_ be my own--own--my own _brother_! We could've almost--_EWWWWW_! What do they call _that_? _(Shudders, looks at Daria:) Insects_--?

DARIA: _(Sighs:) Incest_, and you're _beating_ yourself up over _nothing_, Quinn--you didn't know anything about Darren _possibly_ being our brother, _(smirks:)_ and it's like you two didn't _kiss_ or _something_.

QUINN: _(Really disgusted:)_ ICK! _Kissing_ my _brother_? On the _mouth_? _EWWWWW! (Eyes grow big:) Something_ like _S-E-X_? AAARGH! If this gets out, I'll be an _outcast_ like _you_!

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ An _outcast_ like _me_? Ah, just imagine--you, me, and Jane, all against the world of the _popular_ and _fashionable_! You could make a speech that says, _"I saw the light! I now see that my previous life was a **lie! Shallow! Meaningless!** Throw off your **Guccis!** Throw off your **Pierre Cardins!** Become (faux gasp:) **BRAINS**! Do your homework! Study, baby, study!"_

QUINN: _(Upset:)_ I'm _serious_, Daria! You don't understand what this would _do_ to my _reputation_!

DARIA: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Quinn, no one knows about what you did except _me_ and Darren, and _I'm_ not--going--to--say--any--thing--_(realizes something, smiles:)_ for a _price_.

QUINN: _(Narrows her eyes:) You_--I _knew_ it! What do you _want_?

DARIA: _(Smug:)_ You can do my _chores_ around the house for _two weeks_.

QUINN: _(Furious:) Two weeks_?! That's--that's--

DARIA: _(Pretends like she talking to someone:)_ --Yeah, _Sandi_, _Tiffany_, _Stacy_--I couldn't believe _what_ Quinn did--all those _insects_, and--

QUINN: _(Glares, stomps:)--All right_! _Two weeks!_

DARIA: _(Smirks:) Excellent_. Our deal is _sealed_. I'll let you know later when you can start. _(Looks around, then at her watch:) Where_ is that damn cab? It should have been here _20_ minutes ago. _(Notices the sign beside the curb)_ Oh, _hell_.

QUINN: Huh? What's the matter? What's on that sign, Daria?

DARIA: _(Looks at the sign:)_ It says that cabs run from here until _7:30 p.m._ It's _7:45 p.m._ now.

QUINN: _(Gasps:)_ Y-you _mean_--

DARIA: --It means we're _stuck_ here unless we walk off the mall's parking lot and call a cab--or call mom and dad to come _back_ and pick us up--and they'll _know_ we've been out someplace _either_ way.

QUINN: _(Angry:) Damn it_, Daria! You and your _stupid_ cabs!

DARIA: _(Frowns:)_ Hey, don't blame _me_ if you _wagged_ your _tounge_ after a guy who _may_ be our brother. _(Quinn glares at her like crazy, now)_ Had you been _with_ me, we could've gotten to the cab in time. _(Sighs:)_ We'd better _call_ mom and dad and get ready for the _third_ degree. It's getting dark, and the parking lot's getting empty, and Mack and Jodie told me they were _leaving_ after talking to me. _(Raises eyebrow at Quinn:)_ I don't suppose _you_ can get one of your _hundreds of boyfriends_ to pick us up?

QUINN: _(Frowns right back, arms crossed:)_ Do I look like a freakin' _telephone_ to you? I only talk _on_ one, and _they_ call me, _not_ the other way around. _(Shrugs as an afterthought:)_ Besides, I don't remember _any_ of _Joey_, _Jeffrey_, and _Jamall's_ numbers. Face it, we're _screwed_.

DARIA: --That's _Jamie_.

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes:) Whatever_.

After a moment, a green car drove from the side of the mall, stopping in front of Daria and Quinn. Both girls looked in and saw Darren at the wheel.

DARREN: Hey, you two. I drove around the lot and was ready to leave when I saw you standing at the front. _(Looks around:)_ Obviously, your cab's not here, yet--?

QUINN: _(Before Daria can say anything, still fuming:)_ An' it _won't_ be here either, at least not anymore tonight.

DARREN: _(Concerned:)_ What do you mean?

DARIA: Take a look at the sign. _(Darren does)_ Unless we call our parents, or go off the lot to someplace else to call the cab, we're going nowhere.

DARREN: Ah, I see. _(Thinks for a second:)_ Well, how about if _I_ take you to your home--that is, if you can go with me to the _motel_ I'm staying at and wait for me to check out and get my things. _(Quinn becomes alarmed)_ Besides, your parents said that they were going to the grocery store before they come home. _(Shows phone:) I_ have a cell phone you can call them on, in case they're at your home already.

DARIA: _(Considers:)_ Well--

QUINN: _(Cuts her off:)_ --Daria, could you come with me for a _second_? Excuse us, Darren. _(Takes Daria's arm before Daria can say anything, pulls her some ways from the car:)_ Are you _nuts_? Now I _know_ this _"Darren's" not_ our brother! He wants to take us to some _motel_ or _something_! Our _brother_ would _never_ do something like _that_!

DARIA: _(Smirks, deadpan:) Something_, Quinn? You mean like _S-E-X? (Quinn nods quickly, eyes wide open) (Looks up in mock thinking:)_ Hmm--you, me, and him, a _threesome_ in _bed_. Well, you can take the _left_ side--

QUINN: _(Suddenly stomps, frustrated:)--Damn it_, Daria! Why can't you take me _seriously_ over a guy who wants to take us in _his_ car?

DARIA: _(Serious tone now, frowns:)_ Now that's _ironic_ coming from someone who _picked up_ a wanna-be country music star on our way to _Fremont_, and asks guys over what _cars_ they drive _all_ the time. _(Note to reader: See of course, "Speedtrapped" for the Fremont comment) Look_, Quinn--for _some_ reason, I'm willing to _believe_ he's on the _level_ with us. _(Looks over at Darren's car:)_ He seems _genuinely_ concerned about us, and our parents did _hug_ him, _(ugh)_ so let's give him the _benefit_ of the doubt. He also offered us the use of his _phone_. Would a guy who wanted to do anything _bad_ to us do something like _that_? _(Sees Quinn still not sure, sighs, reaches in her shirt pocket:)_ Here--I'll give you my cannister of _pepper spray_ to keep. If he tries _anything_, you can use it _on_ him--but if he's _really_ our brother and tries _nothing_, you're gonna feel awfully _foolish. (Thought v.o.: Not that you don't already, **"Insect Queen"**)_

QUINN: _(In a rare moment of reflection, looks down, becomes quiet:) No_, that's okay, Daria, _keep_ it.

DARIA: _(Cocks an eyebrow over Quinn's frankness:)_ All right, then--now let's go back to Darren and get the hell outta here.

Darren watched the two girls with a sense of _dread_. He looked at both of them with a deep, sad look on his face.

DARREN: _(Thought v.o.: They don't trust me--I guess I can't blame them. Maybe I can--) (Sees Daria and Quinn coming back to the car, gives a small, hopeful smile)_

Daria and Quinn got into the car, with Daria riding shotgun.

DARIA: _(Embarassed:)_ Uh, Darren, we didn't mean to--

DARREN: _(Cuts her off gently, smiles:)_ --It's _okay_, Daria. I assume your parents told you to never ride with _strangers_, and to you two, _(adds quietly:)_ I guess _I'm_ one.

DARIA: _(Slight smile, not quite Mona Lisa:)_ Well, then, um--I guess we're going to have to _change_ that, huh?

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ I guess. _(Gets cell phone from seat, gives it to Daria:)_ Here, call your parents so they won't be worried, provided they've come from the store. Punch code _8-7-2-3-*_ to activate it. _(Drives car out from the front of the mall while Daria does so)_

QUINN: _(In a sheepish tone:)_ Um, Darren?

DARREN: _(Glances at her in the interior rearview mirror:)_ Yes, Quinn?

QUINN: _(Red-faced, hesitant:)_ I-I'm _sorry_ for--you know--what happened back at the mall--uh--

DARREN: _(Smiles:)_ --It's _forgotten. (Smirks, pause:)_ You know, I was actually _flattered_ that someone with your _looks_ would come _on_ to _me_. I'd bet _all_ the guys _fight_ over you, huh?

QUINN: _(Now gets back into "Regular Quinn" mode, smirks:) Thanks_! Weeeell--_yeah_. But it's so _silly_ for them to do so--even if I don't _really_ mind when they actually _do. (Darren looks at her with a perplexed frown in the mirror, while Daria rolls her eyes)_ Speaking of which, _you've_ probably have had a _lot_ of _dates_ like _me_, right? _(Smirks:)_ I bet all the _girls_ are after _you_, huh?

DARREN: _(Sighs, apprehensive, thinking of his dead girlfriend, Stephanie, and what's happened since with other girls:) Yes_, Quinn, I guess you _can_ kind of say that the girls _have_ been _after_ me. _(Quinn smirks, thinking Darren's having the same "problems" as she does)_

DARIA: _(While on Darren's cell phone:)_ Nobody's home on the range yet. I guess we're still in the clear.

DARREN: Don't worry, you two--_I'll_ speak up _for_ you if they say anything.

DARIA: How far is the motel where you're staying from here?

DARREN: About 15 minutes.

DARIA: Okay--to pass the time, maybe you can tell us _why_ our parents seemed to be really _upset_ when you talked to them. It must've been one _hell_ of a story you gave them about telling them you're their--_son--(adds:)_ and um, our uh--_brother_.

DARREN: _(Frowns deep in thought, glances at Daria:)_ You might say that. _(Sighs:)_ I'll give you two the _lowdown_, but I _warn_ you--it's _not_ for the faint of heart. _(Quinn shudders in the back seat, while Daria merely shrugs)_

_(The "Stopover Motel", about 15 minutes later)_

The car arrived in the motel's parking lot. Darren looked back at a _crying_ Quinn, while Daria's expression was _(unsurpisingly)_ unreadable.

DARREN: _(Clearly concerned:)_ Quinn, are you all right? Daria, could you reach in the glove compartment and get some of those fast-food napkins, please? _(Daria gets them and gives the napkins to Quinn)_

QUINN: _(Takes the napkins while sobbing, and wipes her eyes:)_ I--it's _terrible_! That--that--_creep_! How could someone do _that_? _(Frowns:)_ I hope--I hope he _rots_ in _hell_! _(Daria looks slightly surprised at that comment)_

DARREN: Believe me, Quinn--I've had thoughts that were _nearly_ as bad, but what's done is _done_, and I can't change it. _(Pauses, glances over at Daria:)_ Eh--are _you_ okay, Daria?

DARIA: _(Looks at Darren, no expression on face or voice:)_ I'm _fine_.

Darren stared at her for a second more, trying to read her emotions (fat chance), then glanced back to Quinn.

DARREN: Um--I'll get my stuff and check out. It'll take a few minutes. _(Gets out, goes to his room)_

Quinn watched Darren leave, then looked in the front seat at Daria, who simply looked forward without saying a word. Quinn hesitated for a moment, then spoke.

QUINN: _(Timidly:)_ D-Daria? Are you _sure_ you're--

DARIA: _(Furious, turns on Quinn:) --Damn it_, Quinn, I _said_ I was _fine_! I mean, _Darren's_ the one you should be asking, _not_ me! _(Quinn cringes back in shock:)_ Why shouldn't both you _and_ me _be_ fine?! _We're_ not the one's who've been _deprived_ from each other by some sick _S.O.B._, who kept our brother _from_ us for almost _twenty_ years! A brother who could've been there _for_ us, a brother who _never_ had the chance to _live_ in our family because of a _bastard's_ debt! You--_(looks at Quinn, suddenly remorseful, shocked that she could react like that:)_ oh, God, Quinn--_(grows quiet, looks pained:)_ I--I'm _sorry. You_ didn't do _anything_ to me--I--don't know _what_ came over me--I've _never_ been _that_ angry before.

QUINN: _(Gives a rare genuine smile at her sister, reluctantly puts a hand on her shoulder:)_ It--it's _okay_, Daria. _(Nervous chuckle:)_ Geez, remind me to _never_ get you _that_ mad, okay?

DARIA: _(Smirks, resumes normal deadpan tone:) Believe_ me, you've _tempted_ me a lot of times, _"cuz"_, but I'll save the _usual_ sibling teasing and tormenting for _you. (Frowns, looks off into space:)_ For that _slime_ Turley, killing would've been too _good_ for him, not that it _matters_ now. Let's see--I would've started with a long, _arduous_, Turkish torture technique that would've eventually broken his _legs_. Next, I would've _pulled out_ his _fingernails_, then--

QUINN: _(Shuts her eyes, shaking her head in disgust:) --EWWWW_! Come _on_, Daria! _Stop_ it! That's _too_ gross!

DARIA: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ Oh, _really_--and what would _you_ have done to him--recommended an _unfashionable makeover_ on his _face_?

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes:) Daaaria_! I would've just, well--_(grows quiet, reconsiders:)_ gee, I guess _anything_ you said would've been _okay. (Daria again looks surprised at this)_ We really were _depraved_--

DARIA: --_Deprived_--

QUINN: --Yeah, _whatever_, of our brother, weren't we? _(Pauses, grows quiet:)_ What do we do _now_, Daria? How do we get to _know_ him?

DARIA: _(Shrugs:)_ I guess we just _talk_ to him. _(Pauses, looks around:)_ Ah, Quinn, _promise_ me you won't say _anything_ to Darren or our parents about my little _outburst_, okay? _(Smirks:)_ After all, the _"Misery Chick"_ has a _"reputation"_ to keep.

_(Note to reader: The term "Misery Chick" comes from the 'Daria' episode of the same name, courtesy of Tommy Sherman, of course--or is that "Sheridan"?)_

QUINN: Sure, I _won't--(gets a scheming smirk on her face:)_ for a _price_.

DARIA: _(Narrows her eyes:)_ Why you _little_--

QUINN: _(Talks to an imaginary person, smug:)_ --Sure, _mom, dad, Darren_-- Daria _really_ showed a _lot_ of _emotion_ over the adoption story, and--

DARIA: _(Curt:)_ --Okay, _fine_. I'll _drop_ the two-week chore deal, and we'll call it a _draw_, capeesh?

QUINN: I don't know what this _"capeesh"_ is exactly, but I heard _"draw"_, and that's good enough for me. _(Smirks:)_ Our deal is _sealed_.

DARIA: _(Glares at Quinn:)_ Okay, then. _(Gets Darren's phone:)_ I'm trying mom and dad again. _(Dials, listens to rings:)_ Hello, _Dad? (Flinches:) Whoa_, Dad, _calm down_, we're fine. _(Pauses:)_ Yeah, Quinn's with me, and we're with _Darren. (Another pause:)_ That's right, _Darren_--you know, the guy who _may_ be Quinn and mine's _brother_? _(Another pause:)_ After he checks out. Look, we'll _explain_ when we get back, but _you_ guys have some _explaining_ to do, too. _(Another pause:)_ About your _little_ secret you and mom _kept_ from us over your meeting him. What's that, _mom_ wants to _talk_ to me? _(Begins to gently tap the phone:)_ Um, Dad, we're _breaking up_, I can't hear you anymore. See ya. _(Clicks off the cell phone)_

QUINN: _(Apprehensive:)_ I guess they're at _home_, huh?

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ Your sense of _deduction_ hasn't dulled yet, I see. _(Sighs:)_ Well, I hope Darren can _rescue_ us, because there's gonna be _hell_ to pay if he can't.

Darren walked out of the motel with his belongings, and put them in the car's trunk. He got into the car.

DARREN: Everything's taken care of now, you two.

DARIA: If not _now_, it _will_ be when we get home. I called there, and our parents know we're _with_ you.

DARREN: Hey, it's okay. Like I told you, I'll _explain. (Starts up the car:)_ Since you two are with me, I won't need my map to tell me how to get to your house, so you can show me the way, okay?

About 15 minutes later, Darren's car came to the Morgendorffer's home base, and Darren, Daria, and Quinn got out. Jake _bolted_ out of the house, excited, while Helen came out, and gave her daughters _"The Look"_.

JAKE: Hey, _Big Guy_! Need any _help_ with your stuff?

DARREN: _(Opens the trunk:)_ Uh, sure, but some of what I have is a little _heavy_, so be--

JAKE: _(Jumps right in and grabs a bag, and he promptly strains to lift it:) HUURGH_! You've--got--a--lot--of--stuff--in--here--don't--you?

DARREN: It's some _dumbells_. I _work out_.

DARIA: _(Starts to walk into the house:)_ But _Quinn_ is out _here_, not in your bag.

QUINN: _(Glares, follows Daria:) Real_ funny, Daria.

DARREN: _(Quietly chuckles at Daria's remark, sees Jake, goes forward:)_ Do you need any--

JAKE: _(Waves him off, struggling with the bags:)_ --No--no! I--have--it! _(Drags bag and himself in the house)_

HELEN: _(After leading everyone into the living room:)_ Daria! Quinn! _How_ did you know where your father and I were, and _why_ did you follow us, and _how_ did you meet Darren?

DARIA: Sorry, Mom, but Quinn and I are _sworn_ to _secrecy_--you know, _"secrecy"_, a word you and dad have become _familiar_ with? _(Helen is about to say something, when Jake speaks)_

JAKE: _(Very contrite:)_ Honey, _please_ don't get _mad_ at the girls. I-- _accidently_ let out where we were going this morning while leaving for work.

HELEN: _(Really angry:) JAKE_! I _knew_ I--_(Darren steps in at this point)_

DARREN: _(Smoothly interjects:)_--No offense, but can't we _forget_ about _how_ Daria and Quinn found out what was going on? I told them _everything_ about the adoption and what Doctor Turley did, and quite _frankly_, they took what I said well. _(Pauses:)_ I just want to _enjoy_ my stay here, okay? _(Looks down in Helen's eyes, smiles)_

HELEN: _(Softens, hugs Darren:)_ Oh--well, I _suppose_ it's okay, Darren. _(Daria raises an eyebrow, and Quinn looks shocked, Jake sighs in relief)_ Well, son, what do you _think_ about our home?

Darren looked around, and then did a bit of a double-take. This place was--_huge_ for an upper-middle class home, with it's high ceilings and wide-open living room. From what he could see of the kitchen and dining room, it was the same thing. Certainly, it was _nowhere near_ the size of the mansion, but it was an impressive-looking interior nevertheless. Maybe it would not be so bad when his birth family, assuming they _were_ his birth family that he expected them to be after the DNA test, found out about his estimated personal fortune. These people _seemed_ well-off. He smiled out of courtesy to Helen, and spoke.

DARREN: It's really a _nice_ place you have here, very--_homey_.

HELEN: Thank you, Darren. _(Looks at Jake:) JAKE_! _(Darren flinches at Helen's shout)_ Don't just _stand_ there! Take Darren's things and show him to his room! I'll serve the lasagna in the dining room, and you all can wash up! _(Helen goes back into the kitchen)_

JAKE: Huh? Oh, right, dear! C'mon, Big Guy, and follow me! _(Strains to pick up Darren's bag, while Darren picks up his other bag and follows Jake, with Daria and Quinn in tow)_

DARIA: _(Talks to Darren in a low tone:)_ Hey, how did you do _that_ to mom?

DARREN: _(Perplexed, glances back:)_ Eh? Do _what_?

QUINN: _(Same tone as Daria:)_ You know, _calm_ her down. God, I've _never_ seen _anyone_ do that to her.

DARIA: _Ding-a-ling's_ right. Mom seems to have developed a _soft_ spot for you--_(adds:)_ quite _impressive_ for someone who _just_ met her.

DARREN: _(Surprised:)_ Really? Well, if everything's on the _level_ about that DNA test tomorrow, then I am her and your dad's _son_. She might've responded to me like that for _that_ purpose. Besides, I was just trying to bring in some _peace_ for everyone. _(Daria ponders this, then smirks at Quinn)_

QUINN: _(Cocks an eyebrow at Daria, in the low tone:) What_?

DARIA: _(Leans back to Quinn:)_ Just thinking on my little _"theory"_ about if our brother had never _"died"_, remember? He'd be a _"peacemaker"_? _(After a moment, Quinn gives a look that says, "Ohhh, yeahhh...")_

Jake lead Darren, Daria, and Quinn into the guest room. It was a simple space, with a full-sized bed, a dresser, a closet, and a desk and chair. Jake slid the bag beside Darren's bed, and stretched his back in relief.

JAKE: Here you go, son! There are towels and toiletries in the closet, and the bathroom's right across the hall! _(Looks eager, gets up in Darren's face:)_ Do you _need_ anything else?

DARREN: _(Recoils from Jake slightly:)_ Oh, ah, no, this'll _do_, thank you.

JAKE: _(Thumbs up:) Okay_, Big Guy! Don't _hesitate_ to ask for _anything_! Oh, and _dinner_ is a-comin' up! _(Leaves)_

DARREN: _(Stares after Jake for a moment, looks back at the girls, eyebrows raised:)_ Is he _always_--

DARIA: _(Deadpan, smirks:) --Yep_.

QUINN: _(Ditto:) --Uh-huh_.

DARREN: _(Looks back at where Jake left, slightly concerned, in a whisper:) My God. (Resumes normal tone:)_ Well, uh, I guess I'll wash up for dinner--

QUINN: _(Excited:)_ --And after dinner, I can _show_ you _my_ room!

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Don't _kill_ him with the _cuteness_ in your room, Quinn--he _just_ got here. _(Darren looks at Daria inquisitively)_

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes, annoyed:)_ At least it's better than the _schizo_ room you're living in--you'll probably _scare_ Darren out of there when he _sees_ it. _(Darren looks at Quinn, begins to grin)_

DARIA: _(Deadpan:) "Schizo"_, as in _schizophrenia_? Hey, you know what my room _used_ to be used for--I, for one, am _damned_ impressed. You haven't been _sneaking_ a peek at the _dictionary_, have you? _(Darren's beginning to chuckle quietly, looks between the two, amused at this exchange)_

QUINN: _(Makes a disgusted face:) EWWW_! You mean like a _"brain"_? _(Waves her off:)_ Daria, we _popular_ people don't have _time_ for such things--

DARIA: --Of course you popular people don't. You're all so busy being so _shallow_ and _phony_, and _obsessed_ with your appearance, that even the _notion_ of a looking in a dictionary, possibly opening up those closed-off, _peanut-sized_ brains you all possess would be _sacrilegious_.

QUINN: _(Narrows her eyes at Daria:)_ I don't know exactly what that _means_, but--

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ --Then look it up in a _dictionary_. It's between _"sacrifice"_ and _"sacrosanct"_, and it's an adjective of _"sacrilege"_. If you wish, I can let you look through _mine_.

QUINN: _(Frustrated, angry:)_ You're such a _loser_, Daria! _(Looks at Darren:)_ You see with what _I_ have to put up with? _(Leaves Darren's room in a huff)_

DARIA: Ah, _"loser"_, the old _fallback--(shouts at Quinn in the hallway:)_ don't _ever_ change, Quinn! _(Turns to Darren:)_ As you can see, Quinn and I get along like _typical_, teen-age siblings. You can _join_ in on our little _disputes_ anytime you want, you know, to feel right at _home_.

DARREN: _(Laughs:)_ I think I'll just sit back and _watch_, okay? I'm kind of _new_ at this sort of thing. _(Grows quiet, smiles, thought v.o.: I have two sisters.)_

DARIA: _(Leaves the room, followed by Darren:)_ Well, we'd better remove the _grit_ and _grime_ from the _ends_ of our _front limbs_ and join the others to consume _nourishment_.

DARREN: _(Grins:)_ You mean wash our hands and go to eat?

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Hmm--didn't I _say_ that already? _(Both go in the bathroom)_

Daria and Darren came downstairs to the dining room, where Helen, Jake, and Quinn were sitting at the table waiting for them. Darren and Daria sat down on the same side of the table.

DARIA: _(While sitting down at the table, looks around, deadpan:)_ Wow, we're back in the _acclaimed_ dining room again for the _second_ time in several months. _(Looks at Darren:)_ You should be so _honored_--you _share_ this distinction with that _phony_ wanna-be teen-ager fashion editor of _Val_ Magazine--_Val. (Helen and Quinn glare at Daria, while Jake continues to look at Darren like a grinning idiot)_

_(Note to reader: See "The Lost Girls" for the "Val" thing, obviously)_

DARREN: Yes, I've _heard_ of her. My--_(looks at Helen uneasily, checks himself) adopted_ mother said that she was a bit of a _flake_. You all _met_ her?

DARIA: Yep--she was an _egotisical control freak. (Smirks:)_ Put her in her _place_, though. _(Gets a portion of lasagna along with Darren)_

HELEN: _(Curious:)_ Darren? Did your--_(slightly hesitant:) mother_ work in fashion?

DARREN: Yes ma'am--she was a _fashion designer. (Quinn's eyes light up)_

QUINN: _(Excited:)_ She _was_? Wow! What was her _name_?

DARREN: Um--_Grace Coverton_.

QUINN: _(Looks up:) Grace Coverton_--hmm--nope, never heard of her. Was she with any fashion company?

DARREN: _(Feeling a little uncomfortable he's going through with this "cover":)_ She--worked at _Circa_ clothing.

QUINN: _(Really excited now:) Circa_? _The_ Circa Fashion Company? The Fashion Club _raves_ over their clothes at _Cashman's_! I'm thinking of going to the _Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising_ in California after high school myself, and then working _at_ Circa.

DARREN: _(While eating:) "Fashion Club"_? You belong to one at your school?

QUINN: Oh, yeah! There's me, the vice-president, _Sandi Griffin_, the _(sounding slightly disgusted)--president_, _Tiffany Blum-deckler_, our treasurer, and _Stacy Rowe_, our secretary. We watch out for any fashion _no-no's_ at our school--

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ --And just about _anyone_ or _anything_ else at school that's a no-no. With _your_ grades, Quinn, going to fashion school is most _definitely_ a _no-no_. Maybe you should set your sights a little _lower_, you know, like on _packing and stacking_ clothes in the fashion _warehouse_? I hear they're _always_ looking for a _truck driver_, or perhaps you're afraid to break a _nail_ at the wheel or on the _pallet jack_? _(Quinn glares at Daria)_

HELEN: _(Frowns at Daria:)_ Daria, that's _quite_ enough. _(Looks at Darren, smiles:)_ Quinn's grades are _improving_--

DARIA: (Mutters while eating:) --From _F's to D's_, _quite_ an improvement. _(Helen and Quinn look really angry at Daria, while Darren catches this, and tries to diffuse the situation)_

DARREN: Uh, I _know_ some of the people that worked with my mother at Circa. Maybe I can _talk_ with someone there and see if I can get you to work as an _intern_ during the _next_ summer before you go to FIDM, or at a _branch_ of Circa near there.

QUINN: _(Shocked, estatic, gets up and runs around the table to hug a startled Darren:)_ Oh, _thanks_, Darren! I can't wait to _tell_ Sandi and the Fashion Club! _(Goes back to her seat, sits down)_

HELEN: _(Stunned and delighted:)_ Darren, can you _really_ do _that_?

DARIA: _(Before Darren can speak:)_ He can if he has a _staff_ and is standing in front of the _Red Sea. (Darren tries not to laugh at this, while Quinn looks ready to scream murder. Helen gives a look to Daria that says "Strike Two", and Jake keeps staring at Darren like a grinning idiot)_

DARREN: Well, if Quinn has good grades, _(Daria smirks a "Yeah, right" look on her face) yes_. Let's just say I have some--_"clout"_ with my (adopted) mom's co-workers. _(Notices Jake staring at him, looks at Helen and Daria, then quickly looks down at his food:)_ This is really _delicious_ lasagna--uh, Daria, what do _you_ plan to be?

QUINN: _(Before Daria can answer, sneers:)_ She's just gonna be some _dumb_ writer, or something. _(Eats while Helen glares at Quinn)_

DARREN: _(Smiles, inquisitive:)_ Really? Are you thinking about being a _journalist_ or an _author_?

DARIA: _(Now a little uncomfortable that she's the center of attention:)_ Um--maybe a journalist, maybe an author, I'm not sure yet. I've been submitting transcripts to _several_ colleges.

DARREN: Oh? Any one in _particular_?

DARIA: _(Shrugs:)_ Nah, but I'm trying to _narrow_ it down. _(Takes another bite)_

JAKE: Hey, _Big Guy_! _(Darren looks at Jake a bit uneasily over the "Big Guy" comment, Daria notices this and gives a slight smirk)_ What college are _you_ going to?

DARREN: _Eastward College_. I'm going after a bachelor's degree in _business administration. (Daria cocks a slight eyebrow)_ I had a _3.9_ grade point average for this year. _(Daria cocks an impressed eyebrow)_

HELEN: _(Falsetto surprised voice:) Ohhhh_! Eastward College! Do you plan to _run_ your _own_ business someday?

DARREN: _(Slight smirk:)_ Um--you _might_ say that.

JAKE: Say, what'd your um--_dad_ do?

DARREN: _(Quickly searches for words:)_ He--worked in _computers_. He was very good in creating programs for them and repairing them.

HELEN: _(After a quick glance at Daria:)_ Are you involved in any _clubs_ or anything, Darren?

DARREN: I'm just in one right now--the _Eastward Alumni Society_. We help those whose who graduate find employment, and stay in touch with the college after they get jobs, and we are active in recruiting new students. I probably will wait until my _senior_ year to get into a few more clubs. Right now, my class schedule is just too much.

JAKE: Do ya play any _sports_, Big Guy?

DARREN: Well, in addition to working out with weights and jogging, I play some tennis and _golf_, and--

JAKE: _(Excited:) --Golf_? I _love_ golf! How about you and me _play_ some holes this weekend? _(Helen rolls her eyes)_

DARREN: Er, um--sure, I guess.

QUINN: _(Smirks, looks at Darren:)_ I _can't_ wait to tell the _Fashion Club_--

DARIA: --_Especially_ Sandi--

QUINN: --about _you_, Darren! They're gonna be _so_ jealous I have a _gorgeous_ brother!

DARREN: _(Slightly blushes:)_ Ah, thank you, Quinn, I--

QUINN: _(Cuts him off:)_ --Could I um, _borrow_ your phone, Darren? I gotta tell _Larry_ I _won't_ be going out with him tonight. _(Daria, Jake, and Helen look stunned over this)_ I'll just explain to him that he can take me out _another_ night!

DARREN: Sure, Quinn, it's on its charger in my room. The access code is--

QUINN: --8-7-2-3-*, I know! _Thanks_! _(Gets up, rushes out the kitchen)_

HELEN: _(Looking annoyed, shouts after Quinn:)_ Now, _Quinn_--

DARREN: _(Shrugs:)_ --It's no problem. I guess she wants to get used to having her, uh, _big brother_ help her out.

DARIA: _(Smirking:)_ Either that, or she's just _learning_ how to _use_ you to help _her_ out.

HELEN: _(Frowns, ready to explode:) DARIA_--

DARREN: _(Getting involved again, smoothly interjects:)_ --Hey, it's all right. I suppose big brothers are there to _help_ out their little sisters, and I don't mind. _Really_, I don't. _(Reaches across table, puts hand on Helen's, which calms her down. Daria cocks an eyebrow)_

JAKE: _(Looks up, grins like a madman, shakes his fist:)_ You _see_, Old Man? _I_ have a _son_! What do ya think of 'ol Jakey, _now_, you selfish _bastard_? _(Darren follows Jake's lead and looks around at the ceiling, sees nothing, cuts his eyes back down at Jake while keeping his head in the "up" position and glances at him, eyebrow cocked, and feeling a little rattled by Jake's tirade. Daria looks at Darren and smirks again)_

HELEN: JAKE! Will you _stop--(her cell phone rings:) helloooo_? Ah, _Eric_, I'm _so_ glad you returned my message. I want to explain _why_ I left work early today. _(Pauses:) Nooooo_--of course I can come in _Saturday_ for a few _hours_--

JAKE: _(Still looking up in his little tirade:)_ --That's _right_, you _tyrant_, I'm the _man_, now! _Bastard_! My son is an _extension_ of _me_! _(Darren turns a little pale over that remark)_ What do you _think_ about that?

HELEN: _(At the same time:)_ Eric, I have to say--_JAKE_! Will you stop with the _damn_--_(quickly changes her tone:)_ oh no, Eric, not _you_.

DARIA: _(Leans over to Darren, lowers her voice:)_ Are you _sure_ you want that DNA test to be _positive_? You may _regret_ it.

DARREN: _(Stares ahead, blinking, with a blank look on his face:)_ Um, ah, will you all _excuse_ me for a moment, please? I--think I--_left_ something out in my car. _(Gets up and leaves the table, and the moment he gets out of their sight, rushes out the front door)_

Darren ran out to the front yard and looked around the upper-middle class neighborhood. He looked up at the now-nighttime sky and then leaned forward against his car, with his arms stretched out, and his hands on its top, looking down.

Then he _laughed_.

Not _just_ a laugh, oh no, but _a_ laugh, the type of a laugh that could wake the _dead_, the type of a laugh that could be heard over a _roaring_ crowd at a football game. A laugh that could not be _controlled_, nor would the person that was doing it would want it _to_ be controlled. Darren was laughing _so_ hard, his face turned _red_. He bent over _holding_ his stomach, slowly _shaking_ his head, and _tears_ started to form in his eyes. He turned his back on the side of the car, and _slid_ down slowly until he was sitting on the driveway and laying back against the bottom of the car's door, holding his knees. He was so into his laugh that he didn't see _Daria_ come out of the house and look down on Darren's _giggling_ form.

DARIA: _(Smirks:) Ahem_. Did you find _what_ you were looking for _in_ your car, or did it _fall out_ in the _yard_?

DARREN: _(Caught in mid-laugh, suddenly looks up at Daria, looking like a deer caught in the headlights:)_ Oh, eh--_Daria_! _(Jumps up:)_ Look, I'm _sorry_! I can _explain_--

DARIA: --There's _no_ need--it's _okay_. I _officially_ welcome you to the Morgendorffer _lunatic asylum_. Of course, if you would have _left_ here, I _wouldn't_ have _blamed_ you.

DARREN: _(Glances at her for a second, not sure if she's kidding, then wipes his eyes:)_ I--_how_ can you--

DARIA: --_Survive_? _(Leans back against Darren's car, crosses her arms:)_ It's quite _simple_, actually--I just go into my _own_ little world and totally _disdain_ the _insanity_ and _stupidity_ that confronts me _everyday_ of my life, a _hell_ that has _lasted_ until this _very_ day.

DARREN: _(Grins, leans against his car like Daria:)_ Hmm--_that_ simple, huh?

DARIA: Pretty much. Occasionally, I'll come out it and _humor_ myself with the recommended _doses_ of _sarcasm_ used on the _unsuspecting_ recipients of my verbal barbs. _You_--?

DARREN: _(Wipes his eyes again, with a small smile:)_ I haven't gone _through_ what you have. _(Smile begins to fade:) My_ hell came on me in the span of about _two months_.

DARIA: _(Grows quiet:)_ I'm--_sorry_ about your--_parents_ dying, Darren.

DARREN: _(Looks up at the stars, sighs:)_ Oh, it's not _just_ that. You see, Daria, I had a girlfriend named _Stephanie Reardon_. I--_loved_ her. She was _very_ beautiful, and--I was about to ask her to _marry_ me.

DARIA: _(Stunned, not knowing what to say:)_ I--um--

DARREN: _(Seemingly talking to himself more than Daria while still looking at the night sky:)_ --She died of a _cerebral hemorrhage_. It was so _sudden_, the bleeding so _great_ on her brain, that the doctors couldn't get to her in time. _(Snaps his fingers:) That_ fast. _(Looks now at Daria, with a sad look on his face, voice low:)_ You know, that happened only a little over a _month_ before my (adopted) parents died.

DARIA: _(Searches for words, looks down, even more shocked:)_ Darren--I--I don't know what to say--

DARREN: --It's okay. I never told anyone other than my (adopted) parents, best friend, and aunt that I was going to marry her. You're the _first_ person _outside_ of those people to hear that. _(Hesitates, stares down at her, frowns to himself for a moment:)_ I don't know _why_ I told you that, Daria. _(Pauses:)_ I also don't know why I saying this--but, well--there's something about you that I can--_trust. (Daria looks down, shocked and blushes a little after hearing this) Silly_, isn't it? I mean, I _just_ met you and your family! _(Chuckles quietly:)_ I didn't know what to expect when I did, except I didn't think it was--well, so _funny. (Looks off:)_ I guess I just _needed_ to laugh. I held a lot of _pain_ inside of me for awhile, and my--well--_possible_ birth family provided the _impetus_ to let out my pain by _laughter. (Chuckles again, this time a little louder:)_ I hope you don't think that I've gone off the _deep end_.

DARIA: _(Gets back to her usual sardonic self, Mona Lisa smile:)_ If you have, I can tell you that you're right at _home_ here--_no_ pun intended there. _(Looks at watch while Darren grins:)_ Hey, it's getting pretty late. You wanna go in, or add some _more_ laughter out here?

DARREN: Nah. I'm all laughed out like that for tonight--_(pauses, looks at Daria uneasily, wonders if he should say something to her about his real identity:)_ uh, Daria?

DARIA: _(About to walk into the house, turns around:)_ Yes?

DARREN: _(Ponders:)_ Never mind. I can tell you later. _(Daria cocks an eyebrow, then goes into the house, followed by Darren)_

Daria and Darren walked into the living room and saw Jake and Helen watching the late news on the TV while sitting on the couch. Both had just cleaned the kitchen up, and had put the dishes in the dishwasher. Daria kept going, and Darren waved at both, who returned the wave. Daria walked upstairs, while Darren, who was about to follow her, stopped at the bottom of the stairs and cocked an eyebrow at what he saw on the screen--it showed _William Appleton_ in the front of the mansion giving a press conference, surrounded by a horde of reporters.

WILLIAM: --And I think that Appleton Industires will continue to _thrive_ with _me_ at the helm.

REPORTER: What's happened to _Arthur Appleton, Jr._? Is he going to _come back_ and take over the company _from_ you? Rumor has it that you're a _"temporary"_ figurehead.

WILLIAM: _(Gives a bit of a glare at the reporter, then rapidly regains his composure:)_ Arthur is on _extended leave_ following the _deaths_ of his parents. My _God_, what's _wrong_ with you people? My nephew's in _pain_ and all you care about is the _company_? Look, I ask you all to give my nephew some _room_ to mourn, that's all. Can't you do that for _awhile_? _(Faux dramatic look:) Please_?

JAKE: _(Gets angry:)_ Yeah, _damn it_, why don't you _vultures_ leave that kid _alone_?

HELEN: Now, Jakey, I'm _sure_ that they'll give that young Appleton man _plenty_ of space and time to _mourn_--if they don't, then he can always _sue_ them for _harassment. (Pauses:)_ Hmm--I'd better keep a _note_ on that in case he needs a good _law firm_ to do so. _(Gets a pen and pad from her folder and writes it down, notices Darren, voice grows low:)_ Darren, I suppose you know _how_ that young man _feels_, don't you? He--

DARREN: --Lost _his_ parents, too. _(Grows quiet, goes up stairs:)_ I know _exactly_ how he feels, Helen. _(Helen watches him go up with a sad look on her face)_

Darren went down the hallway when he saw an excited Quinn come out of her room and _grab_ his wrist. She practically _jerked_ him in and shut the door just as Daria was coming out of the bathroom and saw what had happened. Daria went up to Quinn's door and spoke.

DARIA: _(Deadpan:) Insects_, Quinn! _Insects_!

Quinn ran up to the door from her side and promptly returned the verbal barb:

QUINN: _Emotions_, Daria! _Emotions_!

Darren stared at Quinn, completely lost.

QUINN: _(Turns back to Darren:)_ Um--Daria and I have a _joke_ that we've got going between us, you know. It's kinda--_private_.

DARREN: _(Looks at Quinn with a perplexed frown on his face:)_ I--_see_.

QUINN: _(Walks past Darren to the center of her room beside her bed, arms stretched out, twirls around:)_ Well, what do you think of my room?

Darren looked around. Daria wasn't far off when she had said Quinn's room was cute, in fact, it seemed to be the _epitome_ of cuteness. There was a pink dresser on his left that had various make-up items lying on it. The room contained several stuffed animals, both on the carpeted floor and on her bed. A bulletin board was on the far wall, with a huge amount of notes on it. In the far corner, there were several mirrors in almost a _hexagonial_ shape (similar to a clothing store), and on his right, a gumball machine. On the right wall above the gumball machine, posters of some handsome young male models and movie stars were proudly displayed, and, in the middle of the room, against the right wall, was a full-sized canopy bed. _Pure_ cuteness, all right. Quinn leaped on her bed and looked at Darren _adorably_ while lying on her stomach and resting her face in the palms of her hands on her elbows, and crossing her legs. Darren looked further to his right and saw a chair, and sat down.

_(Note to reader: For Quinn's room, see "The Daria Diaries", the same for Daria's room. I wrote this in case someone out there doesn't have the book)_

DARREN: _(Looks around:)_ It--looks--_cute_, Quinn.

QUINN: _(Still excited:)_ Yeah, I _know_! Do you want any gumballs, Darren?

DARREN: _(Looks around uncomfortably:)_ Uh, sure. _(Quinn reaches over and gets some out, gives them to Darren, goes back to her previous position)_ Thank you.

QUINN: _(Smirks:)_ Now, you and me have to _really_ talk, _bro_.

DARREN: _(Eyebrow raised, privately surprised while chewing the gumballs, thought v.o.: Did I just hear Quinn **directly** call me her **"bro"**? Should I say something about--no--maybe I should wait until later:)_ Er--what about, Quinn?

QUINN: _(Sing-songy laugh:)_ About our _burdens_, silly!

DARREN: _Burdens_? _(Confused:) What_ burdens?

QUINN: _(Playfully rolls her eyes:)_ You knooow--about looking _cute_! Having everyone liking you because of your _looks_ and everything. Why, I just had to tell this guy Larry that I couldn't go out with him, and he just _cried_, and I had to kinda _calm_ him down. Is it that way with _you_ when girls ask you _out_? I think people like us have a _curse_ of being _so_ good looking, we have to _beat_ the _ordinary-looking_ people off, and I--

Darren just stared at Quinn with a _phony_ grin and inwardly _groaned_.

(Scene changes to Daria's room, about ten minutes later)

Daria was on her bed, propped up on her pillow. She had her diary and pen that she had taken out of her _strongbox_ that was in her closet, in her hand. She had tried to watch some TV, but there was nothing on, at least not until _Sick, Sad World_ would come on in a few minutes. Daria decided to write in her diary until Darren would arrive.

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: Leave it to Quinn to shanghi Darren. Oh well, maybe Quinn's boring self-gratification will drive him out before he goes insane. If not, maybe he and I can put Quinn out of her misery.) (Starts writing in her diary:)_

From the "so-called" diary of one Daria Morgendorffer:

How do I put this? Oh yeah. I have a brother, or so it seems that I do, pending a DNA test that he and my parents will take tomorrow. His name is Darren Coverton. I don't know exactly how to put what I feel in words, especially since feeling hasn't been a part of the Daria Morgendorffer vocabulary, or anything else about me, save for my writing. This--"Darren" seems to be a nice guy, which could hurt him from my point of view because "nice" is something that I have a hard time doing when it comes to my family--quite an insane thing for me to do, this--"nice". However, recent events have caused me to question my sanity. Helping out my parents when I found out about what they thought was a miscarriage that mom had. Helping Jane and Tom patch up their differences. My little "outburst" at Quinn. Am I, Daria Morgendorffer, growing nice and/or soft? Please say it ain't so.

But for some reason, I don't think it'll be so bad having a brother. For one, he can keep Quinn and me apart. I remember telling Quinn that Darren was a peacemaker--his presence in our house has immediately done several things--(1) Quinn broke a date to be with him! Thought I'd never see the day that would happen again since she lucked up on writing that stupid essay on "Academic Imprisonment" by breaking a date with that guy Corey. Quinn also hugged Darren on her own--now that is a story in itself, especially since the only people she lets hug her are the guys she goes out with--and that's only if she allows them to. (2) Mom's behavior. I'd never seen her get so quiet when Darren stepped in and defended us from her wrath. He defended me when mom was about to go ballistic in the kitchen. Hmm--perhaps when I cut all of Quinn's hair off one day, I can hide behind Darren, and mom will forgive me. (3) Dad's behavior. He just looked at Darren without saying a word. Dad didn't even read the newspaper at the table while we were eating tonight. That hasn't happened since our parents told Quinn and I could've had a brother--which, apparently, we do--unless, for some reason, that DNA test turns out negative. Wait'll Jane hears about this--it should be one hell of a story for her to take in.

More than anything else, I was shocked over what he said about a girl he knew named Stephanie Reardon, and what he said about her. He's going through more pain than I can imagine. Maybe I can--

There was a knock on the door.

DARIA: _(Raises her voice:)_ If it's the guys in the white coats, you can just leave me _here_ and change the plain 'ol wooden door to a _12 inch steel_ one. You can also put the bars _back_ on my windows. I do, however, reserve the right for bathroom privileges, unless you want to send in the bedpan. Now as for _food_--

HELEN: _(From outside Daria's door:)_ Daria! It's your _mother_, and I have _Jane_ here on the phone!

DARIA: _(Sighs, talks low to herself:)_ Crap, I forgot to call her. _(Raises voice, gets up:)_ Hang on. _(Puts diary[?] under her pillow:)_ Come on in. _(To which Helen does)_

HELEN: _(Gives Daria the phone:)_ Where's Darren?

DARIA: Thanks. _Guess_--Quinn's _kidnapped_ him in her room and is _boring_ him to death, probably telling him about how _cute_ she is and such--we may have to call the _undertaker_ to come and get him.

HELEN: _(Exaggerated sigh at Daria:)_ I wanted to tell him that his _grandmothers_ and your _aunts_ want to meet him, and they'll be here sometime next week. Your father and I have decided to _cancel_ the trip to the beach. _(Daria gives something of a tiny relieved smile)_ Oh well, I'll wait until he and Quinn _bond_ first. _(Starts to leave)_

DARIA: _(While covering the speaker part of the phone:)_ You'd better hope Quinn hasn't tried to bond with him using her so-called _"charm"_, which is her _super glue_, otherwise, we'll _never_ get him back. _(Helen sighs and rolls her eyes as she shuts Daria's door, and Daria takes her hand off the speaker part of the phone)_ Hey, sorry I hadn't called you yet--you might say something really _big_ came up.

JANE: _(Sounding subdued:)_ Yo, it's no problem.

DARIA: _(Narrows her eyes:)_ Um--you _okay_? You seemed to be sounding a bit _down_.

JANE: _(Sighing sound:)_ Yeah, I am--Tom and I--_broke up_.

DARIA: _(Shocked:)_ What do you mean, _"broke up"_? Are you _serious_?

JANE: _(In a low voice:)_ Oooh, _yeah_.

DARIA: _(Searches for words:)_ But--_how_--_why_?

JANE: After I talked to you, I tried to call Tom the next day at the time you told me. He wasn't there. _"Okay"_, I said, _"I'll wait until the next time."_ The following day, I called again. Finally, he came on, saying that he had to work late, and he couldn't get back to me in time. I offered to give him my number and time to call me, which he took, and we then talked.

DARIA: _Annnnd_--?

JANE: Tom _apologized_ for laughing at my painting of him, which I accepted. He said we shouldn't have argued over such a _silly_ matter, anyway. I told him it _wasn't_ silly, that the painting represented my _feelings_ for him, just as I told you. He kind of _chuckled_ and said that I was kind of _overreacting_, to which I said that I was doing no _such_ thing. He told me to _calm down_, and I--just launched into _another_ area of our relationship.

DARIA: _(Perplexed frown:) Another_ area of your relationship--?

JANE: _(Sounding a little bitter:)_ Yeah, such as _talking out_ things, like Tom wanting to _tell_ me what college _he_ thought I should go to. He said _he_ thought we agreed on _Leeville Community College_, you know, someplace near where he worked and not too far from his family, and where he'd go after getting out of _prep school_. I wondered where in the _hell_ he came up with _that_ idea. He said I _told_ him when we went out one night. I can say _clearly_ that I don't remember that. Tom added that _he_ thought that we should talk about something like this when I got back, and not over the phone, to which I said why he should do _all_ the thinking in our relationship? I mean what am I, some sort of _damn brainless puppet_ for him, lying around to have my _strings_ pulled by _him_? _(Pauses:)_ It never occurred to me until that instant: Tom likes to _control_ me--maybe he doesn't _know_ that he's actually _doing_ it, but I think that's what's going on here.

DARIA: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Oh, _come on_.

JANE: No, _think_ about it, Daria. I remember once when he and I went to the Zen for one of Mystik Spiral's gigs. He _told_ me to not eat those _tacos_ they serve there because they made my breath _smell_--in and of itself an _insensitive_ thing to say, and guess what? I did _anyway_ just to see what would happen, and he _didn't_ kiss me that night--even after I popped a _mint_ in my mouth.

DARIA: _(Sarcastic deadpan:)_ Oh, _wow_. Because of some _tacos_, you two are now broken up. I'd _sue_ Taco Bell, if I were you--you wanna let me go and get my _mom_?

JANE: _(Sounding angry:) Hey_! I wanted to _add_ that he didn't kiss me because he was _angry_ that I didn't do what _he_ wanted me to do. I looked at him a little _funny_, and I let it _slide_, because at the time, it _was_ trivial. Then there was the time we went to the movies. Tom _told_ me what movie we were going to see, and _he_ thought I'd like it. We ended up seeing _his_ movie--a _macho-guy_ flick. _(Adds:)_ Don't you _see_, girl? There's a _pattern_ developing here!

DARIA: _(Thinks for a moment, then speaks:)_ Look, maybe you two should let yourselves _cool down_ and talk to each other after you come back. I can't believe you two can't get past this.

JANE: _(In a quiet tone:)_ I told him I wanted this relationship to _end_, and he practically _begged_ me to think it over.

DARIA: _See_? There you have it. Give it a _chance_, and air out your concerns. Don't _throw_ away a chance that you may _regret--(grows pale:) oh, God._

JANE: Huh? What?

DARIA: I'm beginning to sound a little like a _marriage counselor_, or one of those _daytime talk show hosts_. Look, just talk to him when you get back, okay?

JANE: _(Pauses after a moment:)_ Um, _okay_, but I'm _not_ promising anything.

DARIA: Fair enough. _(Changes tone:)_ Now, how's everything going down there in _Sandsville_?

JANE: Painting and pottery, baby, painting and pottery. Plus, a little sightseeing thrown in. I'll show you my work when I get back, and _before_ you ask, my mom and I are _bonding_. She showed me how some of the Hopi did their pottery, and some of her Native American friends took me out in the desert to watch a tribal dance. All-in-all, a somewhat _rewarding_ experience. _You_--?

DARIA: _(Sounding nonchalant, which is easy for her:)_ Eh, the usual _bug-the-hell-out-of-Quinn-and-my-parents_, and reading and writing to get past my boredom. _(Pauses:)_ Oh yeah, and the _brother_ me, Quinn, and my parents _thought_ was dead is actually _alive_ and all grown up, that's _all. (Suddenly flinches from the phone because she hears a tapping sound from the other end:)_ Hey, what the _hell_--?

JANE: --I'm _sorry_, I believe we're having a _communication problem. (Snickering sound:)_ I thought I heard you say that the baby who could have been your older brother you and Quinn had thought for dead was actually _alive and grown up_. That can't be, right?

DARIA: _(Dead serious tone:) No_ joke, Lane. I'm serious as a _heart attack_, and I don't mean my _dad's_. Pending a DNA test tomorrow, it'll be _official_.

_(Note to reader: See "Jake of Hearts" for Jake's heart attack)_

JANE: _(Sounding stunned after a very long pause:)_ You're--_not_ kidding?

DARIA: _(Smirks:) Nope_. His name's _Darren_, and to be frank with you, it's a _long_ story, a little _too_ long to talk about it over the phone. You'll have to come back and let me tell you face-to-face, and you can _meet_ him yourself.

JANE: _(Sounding her disbelief:)_ Well, I'll be _damned. (After another long pause:)_ Um--_who_ does he _look_ like, Helen or Jake?

DARIA: Actually a little more like _mom_, with a bit of dad's chin. He thinks we're _funny_ and a little _crazy_, with my _family_ on the crazy part, and _me_ on the funny part. As you can imagine, mom and dad have gone _wild_ over him, and Quinn even--_(checks herself:)_ um--thought he was _"nice-looking"_.

JANE: _(Snorting sound:) Did_ she now? It's a wonder _"Tinkerbell"_ didn't _come on_ to him! Now _that_ would've been _funny_! _(Laughs)_

DARIA: _(Smirks, decides to keep her word to Quinn:)_ Yeah--_funny_.

JANE: So, ah--what do _you_ think of this _"Darren"_ fellow?

DARIA: I think he's--_okay_. I guess you can say he's a _nice_ guy. He seems to be able to _control_ my mom's _belicosity_, and _mesmerize_ my dad--there's a _stunning surprise_, as well as _excite_ Quinn--little sister plans to use Darren as a _club_ to wield on Sandi Griffin's _head_, I'm _sure_ about that. _(Rolls her eyes:)_ She'll probably _brag_ about Darren's _"looks"_ to her _"friends"_--

JANE: _--Oh, ho_! So he really _is_ a _looker_, eh?

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ I'm not worried about _you_ making a _move_ on my brother, Jane--not with _"Tommy Boy"_ in the wings. So, _hop_ to it, my dear, and call him.

JANE: _(Voice snapping to attention like a soldier:) Yes ma'am_! I'll get right on it, ma'am! _(Wicked snickering sound:)_ Speaking of calls, has _Trent_ called _you_ yet? You know, to tell you that he's being _"careful"_ out there?

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ Heh. _Amusing_. No, I haven't heard a _word_ from him since he and Mystik Spiral left on their _"Magical Mystery Tour"_. It's been pretty quiet around here, save for "Big Brother's" appearance.

_(Note to reader: The "tour" Daria's talking about is **not** the same tour based on the excellent series done by one Crazy Nutso--just thought I'd add that note to clear up any confusion you might have, thank you.)_

JANE: Okay--so noted. That should be one _hell_ of a story about your brother that I want to hear. _(Daria smirks at this, having wrote the same thing in her so-called diary)_ How's the Lane _fortress_?

DARIA: It's okay. I'm checking the locks and I'm feeding the cats. The post office is keeping your mail. That kid that lives next door to you guys is mowing your lawn, and I'm gonna go over there tomorrow morning and go through my customary checks.

JANE: _(Sincere-sounding tone:)_ Okay. Thanks, Daria--I _owe_ you.

DARIA: _(Mona Lisa smile:)_ No problem--make sure that you send that _money order_ on time, okay?

JANE: _(Laughing sound:)_ Later. _(Hangs up)_

Daria was about to go back to writing in her diary(?) when there was a knock on her door.

DARIA: _(Raised voice:)_ Is that you, _Death_? If it is, I'm ready to go.

VOICE: _(Chuckles:)_ Sorry to _disappoint_ you, but I've been told you're going to live _forever_ trapped with the "hell" that is your family.

DARIA: _(Smirks, puts her diary [?] back under her pillow, sits up on her bed:)_ One more _crack_ like that, and I'll send you _back_ to Quinn. You may enter, _Darren_.

Darren entered Daria's room and was immediately _shocked_--this room was the _complete_ opposite of Quinn's. As he slowly panned around with his eyes _and_ mouth wide open, he noticed that just about the _entire_ room, save for the ceiling, and a part of the right wall, was covered in gray padding. On the part of the wall with no padding, was a _poster_ with the bones of an partially unearthed human on it, and beneath the poster was a support bar. In the far corner of the floor was a box of a human skull and bones. (Darren _assumed_ they weren't real) Above the box, bolted up in the corner, was a TV. Darren noticed that Daria also had a TV on a stand as well. Beside her bed, Daria's dresser had a model of a wedge of swiss cheese, as well as one of the human heart. On the windows, Darren noticed _sawed-off bars_. Finally, he looked to his left and saw that Daria had a computer on her desk right inside of the door. Darren pulled the chair out and turned it towards Daria, and sat _slowly_ down, at a _complete_ loss for words.

DARIA: _(Sinister grin:)_ Welcome to _my_ world. Before you ask, the TV bolted up in the corner is for _decorative_ purposes only--it doesn't work. Well now--what do you _think_ of my room?

DARREN: _(Gathers his thoughts, looks around:)_ Oh, for _some_ reason, it's _you. (Smiles:)_ Your sense of _irony_ is quite _wicked_, I've got to admit.

DARIA: _(Perplexed:)_ What do you mean?

DARREN: That while my birth parents and Quinn seem, no offense--_wacky_, and you seem to be the _sane_ one, that _you're_ the one in here.

DARIA: _(Smirks, deadpan:)_ Then I've done my job _impressing_ you. I just _live_ for irony.

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ I can imagine.

DARIA: How'd you _escape_ Quinn?

DARREN: Actually, Quinn gave me an _out_--she got so carried away with talking about herself, guys, and this--"Fashion Club", that she eventually fell _asleep_. I then slipped out and came in here.

DARIA: Yeah, Quinn never gets tired of talking about those _three_ things. I'm surprised you were able to stand her going on like that.

DARREN: _(Shrugs:)_ I'm used to my professors _lecturing_ in class. Quinn was no different. _(Pauses:)_ Daria, I meant to ask her something, but I wasn't able to get in a word edgewise, so I'll ask you.

DARIA: _(Eyebrow cocked:)_ What?

DARREN: Earlier tonight, when you first saw Quinn and me talking at the mall, you came up and Quinn said you were her _cousin_. What was _that_ all about?

DARIA: _(Looks uncomfortable for a moment, but then a thought v.o.: "Why the hell **not**?":)_ Look, Darren, I'll _level_ with you. Quinn believes because of the way I _dress_ and _act_, I'll somehow _embarass_ her in front of her friends, so she _makes up_ a story, which she uses for everyone at my school, _especially_ in front of her Fashion Club _"cohorts"_, that I'm her _"cousin"_. She believes that somehow my _"deepness"_ will _corrupt_ her _"shallowness"_, and drive _away_ all her friends.

DARREN: _(Shocked:)_ That's--_terrible_.

DARIA: Well, yeah--and the thing about it is, and you'd better not say _anything_ to _anyone_ about this--_(Darren shakes his head, "no")_ but Quinn is a lot _smarter_ than she _wants_ us to think. I think she can do _better_ in school, but she thinks that being a _"brain"_ will affect her _"popularity"_.

DARREN: _(Deep in thought:)_ I see--but _surely_ she _has_ to know she _needs_ good grades to get into the Fashion Institute? What does she _expect_, to just _waltz_ in there and enroll with no problem?

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ I don't think Quinn wants to _cross_ that bridge until she gets to it. By that time, it could be too _late_. Remember when I made that crack at the table about her _"improving"_ grades? I _wasn't_ kidding. For a while there, mom and dad were _sweating_ bullets. I sat back and watched to see if the little _sprite_ would make it or go to summer school, and _damned_ if she didn't _barely_ pass. It was _way_ too close for comfort.

DARREN: Maybe she'll _crack down_ on her books for her _junior_ year--

DARIA: --And maybe I'll just grow a _beard_, and become a circus _oddity_. Look, I think Quinn's gonna have to see how _rough_ real life is, and _then_ see the _importance_ of a good education.

DARREN: _(Cocked eyebrow:)_ I--suppose my _offer_ to get her _work_ at Circa was _wrong_?

DARIA: No, I just think Quinn's gonna believe that _everything_ can be _handed_ to her without really _working_ for it. _(Narrows her eyes at Darren:)_ Can you _definitely_ get Quinn that job?

DARREN: _(Speaks with a certainty in his voice:)_ Oh, _yes_ I can--and I _really_ believe that I _can_ help Quinn--

DARIA: --_If_ she wants to help _herself_.

DARREN: Well, while I'm here, I'll _definitely_ encourage her to _hit_ her books for her junior year, and stress the _importance_ of getting good grades. _(Looks down at Daria's desk, notices college brochures, especially the one for Eastward College on top, delightfully surprised:)_ You're _considering_ Eastward College?

DARIA: _(Looking a little uncomfortable:)_ Well, _yeah_. In fact, it's on the _top_ of my list of the colleges I want to _go_ to. I heard it has an _excellent_ journalistic major, and the campus is pretty quiet.

DARREN: _(Grins, excited:)_ Oh, you don't know the _half_ of it. It's in the middle of _nowhere_, but not so far that you can't go somewhere. It's only _25 miles_ from New York City. The campus is not only quiet, but also very beautiful, located in the middle of a _forest_. There's also plenty of college _activities_ you can get _involved_ in, if you want.

DARIA: _(Shakes her head slowly:) Nope_. I don't do school activities. I'm no _joiner_. Involvement with _any_ of the popular people is _hazardous_ to my health. _Isolation_--it's the answer for we of the _recluse_ society. I've found out that participating in such activites have resulted in, shall we say, _humiliating_ personal experiences for myself.

DARREN: _(Grows quiet:) Oh. (Thought v.o.: **That's** why Helen looked over at Daria when Helen asked me about my extracurricular activities at Eastward--she's apparently tried to include Daria in some as well.) (Decides not to press the issue:)_ To be honest with you, I had the chance to join _more_ clubs, but I'm going _very_ slowly to get into the activities of Eastward. My _education_ is the most _important_ thing to get.

DARIA: I _hear_ you there. I want to get a good job and get _away_ from and _through_ my teen-age years. For my senior year at Lawndale High, I want to concentrate on more of my writing to submit to colleges. _(Looks away:)_ It's probably a _safe_ bet that I'm _not_ going to Eastward because of the _cost_ of tuition, even _with_ a full scholarship.

DARREN: _(Alarmed:)_ Hey, _whoa_, hold on there a second. _I_ can talk to some of the _alumni_ there, and they can _help_ you.

DARIA: _(Raises an eyebrow, smirks:)_ First Quinn, and now _me_? What are you, some sort of _"godfather"_ who just _snaps_ his fingers and gets things done?

DARREN: _(Becomes careful here, realizes he may have overstepped his bounds, compensates:)_ No--no--just--that I _can_ help you--_financially. (Adds quickly:)_ Uh, you know, _financial aid_, with a _Pell Grant_. I can get some--_information_ on how you can get enough money to go to Eastward. It's not out of the question to go, don't give up just yet.

DARIA: From what I've heard, Eastward's room-and-board cost _per_ semester can buy a small _house_, and that _doesn't_ include food. _(Ponders for a second:)_ Say, how can you _afford_ to live on campus?

DARREN: I--live off campus with my _aunt_, and my--(adopted) parents had some _money_, as well as in their will they left for me. We have--_plenty_ of room where we live. _(Hesitates, then goes on:)_ You can live there _with_ us, if you want, you know, while going to Eastward.

DARIA: _(Surprised:)_ Um, I wouldn't want you to put you and your aunt _out_-- 

DARREN: _(Chuckles at the rather absurd thought:)_ Oh, you _wouldn't_ put us out, _believe_ me. _(Smiles:)_ At least _think_ about it.

DARIA: _(Hesitates:)_ Ah--sure, _okay. (Searches for words:)_ Sooo--what's your _aunt's_ name?

DARREN: _(Pauses for a moment, decides to tell partly:) Millie_--um, Millie _Coverton_. You might say she's my _favorite_ aunt. She's been living with me and my--(adopted) parents since she was divorced. She had _no_ children--said I was the _closest_ she wanted to _having_ some. Aunt Millie _changed_ her last name back to her _maiden_ name after the divorce.

DARIA: Whoa. I guess the divorce was _bitter_, huh?

DARREN: A--_little_. She and her ex-husband, _Jim_, who I _still_ consider as my _uncle_, are now friends.

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ So, I guess she doesn't _hate_ men, right?

DARREN: _(Perplexed:)_ Uh, _no_--I think she's gotten on with her life by seeing _other_ guys--say, _why'd_ you ask that?

DARIA: My science teacher, _Ms. Barch_, had a hell of a bitter divorce, and since then, has declared _war_ on all of the male species--save for my English teacher, _Mr. O'Neill_, whom she has a _thing_ for. She gives all of her female students _passing_ marks, while the male students are lucky enough to _barely_ pass. 

DARREN: _(Mildly frowns:)_ Now, that doesn't seem _fair_.

DARIA: _(Shrugs:)_ Eh, but at least they're passing, I guess. _(Changes subject:)_ Ah, you said while we were outside the house you had a _best friend_--

DARREN: _(Nods:) --Curtis Watley_, my good buddy. He goes to Eastward with me, and we hang out together. He's in Florida now, visiting his grandmother, and his girlfriend, Lena. He's majoring in engineering. You have a buddy?

DARIA: Yeah, _Jane Lane_, an aspiring artist, and my _"Partner In Crime"_. She and her mom are out in the Southwest on vacation, and they won't be back for two-and-a-half weeks. Her brother _Trent Lane_, is a musician for a group he's in, called _Mystik Spiral_, and they're out on some sort of a self-promotional tour, and won't be back for a few more days. I'm keeping an eye out on their home until they get back.

DARREN: I look forward to meeting your friends. _(Looks around:)_ So, you said you want to be a writer--may I see some of your _work_?

DARIA: _(A bit nervous, a little wide-eyed:)_ Um, sure, but I'm going to _warn_ you--my writing is kind of _dark. (Gets up, goes to her closet, pulls out a box full of her papers, some in notebook form, and gives it to Darren:)_ Here you go--enjoy.

DARREN: Thank you. _(Gets out a notebook from the box, places it on Daria's desk, sits down, and starts to read it)_

DARIA: Do you mind if I turn on the TV? I'll keep it down so it won't disturb you.

DARREN: _(Reading Daria's writing intensely, barely looks up:)_ Hmmm? Oh, no, it's okay.

Daria clicked on _Sick, Sad World_, and sat back down on her bed.

TV ANNOUNCER: _(While theme music is playing:)_ Will there be an invasion from _Atlantis_? Finicky Fish People--A _Sick, Sad World_ exclusive, next!

DARREN: _(Looks up at the TV for a moment, grins:)_ I've seen that show a _few_ times. It's _really_ funny. _(Goes back through Daria's work)_

DARIA: Yeah, funny _and_ pathetic in describing our world. It's my _favorite_ show.

DARREN: _(While still reading:)_ Daria, this is really _good_. I like the way you wrote about the _"Darkness that tortured your soul"_. It really _stabs_ at the heart.

DARIA: _(Cocks an eyebrow in surprise, cutting her eyes sideways at Darren:)_ You're not _offended_ or _afraid_ by what you're reading?

DARREN: _(Looks directly at Daria:) Yes_, and that's why I _like_ it. Writing is supposed to _move_ the reader, to create an _image_ in the reader's mind, to _convey_ what's on the writer's mind. _This_ definitely does that. By reading this, I can tell that your vision of the world is clearly one of _brutal reality. (Puts aside notebook, gets another one out of the box)_

DARIA: _(Now looking directly at Darren:)_ Let me get this straight--you think my work is one of _brutal reality_?

DARREN: _(While still reading:)_ Pretty _much_ so--but it's an _honest_ type of brutal reality--something one can _appreciate_. At least one can know where you _stand_ on an issue.

DARIA: _(Looks back to the TV, quietly impressed with Darren's assessment of her writing:)_ Well, yeah, I guess--you might say honesty is _really_ important to me.

Darren stared _uncomfortably_ at Daria for a second, then went back to reading. For the next hour, neither said a word until _Sick, Sad World_ went off the air. Daria turned off the TV, while Darren was finishing up reading Daria's work. He put the box back into the closet for her, and prepared to leave Daria's room.

DARREN: Daria, I'm no expert, but I think your writing is _terrific_. If you'll let me, I would like to run off a few copies to take back with me so I can show some of your writing to the dean of the journalistic department, I think he'll be impressed.

DARIA: _(Hesitant:)_ Well, okay, but promise me that you'll show them to the dean only. I'm--kind of _possessive_ about my work. I know it kind of sounds _creepy_--

DARREN: _(Cuts her off:)_ --No, no, it's understandable you'd feel that way, because you want to protect your writing from being _plagiarized_.

DARIA: _(Shrugs:)_ That and the fact that my writing kind of _is_ me. It makes me feel a little--_exposed_ if others see it.

DARREN: _(Looking sheepish:) Oh_. Don't worry--I'll keep it low key. But _don't_ blame me if the word gets out that your writing is wonderful.

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Well, if people start breaking out in _song_ and sing their _praises_ unto me, I'm gonna have to go _postal_ and _shoot_ everyone. I think that'll keep my _reputation_ in tact.

DARREN: _(Laughs:)_ Tell me when that occurs--I want to be as far _away_ as possible when you do.

DARIA: _(Shakes her head slowly:) No_ can do. In fact, you'll be _front_ and _center_--you're the one who _started_ the ball rolling.

DARREN: _(Grins:) Hmph_. Figures--I get nothing but _trouble_ for my efforts. Thanks a _lot_.

DARIA: Don't mention it. _(Looks at alarm clock on her dresser:)_ Hey, it's almost _midnight_. You're still gonna get up and _drag_ yourself out of bed to jog tomorrow morning?

DARREN: I try to stay to my _regimen_.

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ Same here. I have to get ready for _my_ regimen of _sarcasm_ and put downs for tomorrow. _(Darren chuckles at this while opening Daria's door)_ You know, my friend _Jane_ jogs, too.

DARREN: _(Raises eyebrows:)_ Really? _(Shrugs:)_ Well, maybe we can jog _together_, and she can show me her jogging _routes_.

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Oh, I don't know if her boyfriend _Tom_ will like that.

DARREN: _(Gives Daria an "Oh, I see" look:)_ Ah, of _course_. I guess I can find my _own_ routes, then. Do the Lanes live far away from here?

DARIA: Nope, just _several_ houses down from us. _(Note to reader: Read "The Daria Diaries") (Daria pauses:)_ Say, I'm going over there tomorrow morning to check on their house while they're gone. You want to come with me when I go, you know, after you finish jogging, and we eat breakfast?

DARREN: Are you sure they won't mind me being there _with_ you?

DARIA: Nah--unless you plan to _blow up_ the place, in which case I'll have to _help_ you. Jane and Trent won't mind, it'll be okay, and I can show you some of Jane's art.

DARREN: _(Thinks:)_ It's set, then--I'm going to have a busy day tomorrow. _(Pauses:)_ Well, I'm going to call my aunt and tell her I'm fine--see you. Goodnight. _(Leaves)_

DARIA: Goodnight. _(Shuts door behind him, gives a slight smile)_

Daria changed into her "Mark Twain" pullover pajama shirt and pulled out her diary(?) and pen from under her pillow, and began to write again:

Maybe I can actually get along with another relative other than my Aunt Amy. Darren told me he likes my writing, and will talk to the dean of journalism on my behalf. Dare I dream to go to Eastward, and even more, with the man who may be my brother? I wonder if Darren can really get Quinn an internship where his--mom worked. Well, I guess anything's possible--and I suppose I'll join the damn Fashion Club tomorrow, and replace Quinn as the vice-president, and scheme to outdo Sandi. Speaking of Quinn, maybe the little princess was right (I write to myself sickeningly,) about the "gift" she thought she was getting from our parents--just that instead of some sort of dumb dress or shoes, it's a brother. If that DNA test is correct, then he is our brother. Until I survive another hell-filled day--well, maybe made a little less hell-filled by Darren, I'll see you tomorrow, my so-called diary.

Slightly smirking, Daria locked her diary(?) in her strongbox, and put it back in her closet, then clicked out the light and went to bed.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 - Odds and Ends

Darren twisted and turned in his sleep, dreaming of the Morgendorffers discovering his secret and becoming _angry_. Helen, Jake, Daria, and Quinn, wearing white robes, came through a foggy mist in a dark room, surrounded him, and began to accuse.

HELEN: _(Frowns, points at him:)_ How could you _lie_ to me, your own _mother_, like that, young man? Just think--I _hugged_ you!

JAKE: _(Frowns, points at him:)_ Thanks a _lot_, Big Guy! You had to be a _bad_ son that _stabbed_ me in the back--just like my _Old Man_ in _reverse_!

QUINN: _(Frowns, points at him:)_ Congratuations, Big Bro--I'm _humiliated_ because of your _lie_! Sandi's gonna eat me _alive_, and it's all _your_ fault!

DARIA: _(Frowns, points at him, usual deadpan:) Oooooh, boy_, bro--you've broken Daria's _Rule of Law #1_--Thou shalt not _deceive_ Daria Morgendorffer, and you shall pay _accordingly. (Takes out a rope that's tied with a noose at the end, throws it over a branch of a suddenly-appearing tree, and pulls the noose over Darren's head, while Helen, Jake, and Quinn start to laugh at Darren sinisterly)_

DARREN: _(Panics, wide-eyed:) Wait_! I'm sorry for _lying_ to you all! _Please_ give me _another_ chance!

DARIA: _(While shaking her head slowly:) No_ can do, bro. _(Darren looks down and sees he's standing on a trap door, while Daria grins:)_ See you in _hell. (The trap door opens, Darren screams)_

Darren suddenly woke in a cold sweat holding his neck, and a _hand_ was laid on his shoulder from the side.

JAKE: _(Sitting beside Darren's bed in his pajamas and housecoat, concerned:)_ Are you _okay_, son?!

DARREN: Yeah _Jake_, I--_(sees Jake, and falls out of bed, screaming:) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH_!! _(Now on floor, looks up at Jake stunned:)_ What are you doing _in_ my room?!

JAKE: _(Gets up out of his chair and waves his hands frantically, tries to reassure Darren:)_ I'm _sorry_, Darren! I was just _sitting_ there, _looking_ at you, watching _over_ you! _(Narrows his eyes, looking into space:)_ Unlike my _Old Man_--that _rotten_ jerk! He left me to fend for _myself_ at military school while he treated my mom like _dirt_! Well _now_, I'm _not_ gonna make _that_ mistake, oh, _no_! I'm gonna _be_ there for _my_ son! _(Darren backs slowly away from Jake while still on floor, terrified, [think of "Terminator 2"--Linda Hamilton] and about this time, Helen, Daria, and Quinn, who was now in her nightclothes, come in)_

HELEN: _(Angry:) JAKE! WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! (Darren flinches at Helen's shouting)_

QUINN: _(Confused:)_ What's going on, Daddy?

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ Dad's just _reliving_ old childhood memories, again. _(Pauses, looks at Helen, slight frown:)_ Didn't we go through this _before_ with you and dad?

JAKE: _(Snaps out of his ranting with Helen's shout, suddenly nervous:) H-huh_? Um, Helen, I just, ah--

DARREN: _(Now gathers his wits, covers for Jake, looks at Helen:)_ --He--just heard me having a _nightmare_ while he was out in the hallway passing by my room, and came to see what was going on, that's all. He found me on the floor when you came in. _(Jake catches Darren's story, mouths a "thank you" to him)_

HELEN: _(Now calmed:)_ Oh, my! You must've had _some_ nightmare, Darren. _(Thought v.o.: My poor son--you must've been thinking about **your** parents, weren't you?)_

DARREN: I--was dreaming I--fell off a _cliff_. I saw the ground coming _towards_ me--

DARIA: --And remember, it's _not_ the fall, but the sudden _thump_--

HELEN: _(Annoyed while Darren tries not to laugh:) --Daria_! _(Looks at Darren:)_ Well, if you're all right Darren, Jake and I are going back to bed and get another hour of sleep. _(Pushes Jake out of the room)_

QUINN: _(Looks out the window:)_ Hey, the sun's coming _up_--

DARIA: --It's called _sunrise_, Quinn--you'd be _surprised_ that it does that _everyday_, and you wouldn't miss it if you'd get up and not sleep _half_ the day away.

QUINN: _Ha_, Daria. I'm gotta get my _beauty sleep_--not that _you'd_ ever want to get some for _yourself. (Looks at Darren:)_ See you later, _bro. (Leaves out of Darren's room)_

Daria frowned to herself in slight _shock_. Did Quinn just _call_ Darren her _"bro"_? She looked over at Darren, who looked at her a bit uneasily. Did _he_ notice it, too? _Well, she wouldn't know unless she asked--here goes_.

DARIA: Um--Darren?

DARREN: Yes, Daria?

DARIA: Did I just hear Quinn call you--

DARREN: _(Cuts her off gently:)_ --Her _"bro"_? Yes, I heard that. _(Hesitates:)_ She said the _same_ thing last night while we talked in her room. I was planning to say something about it to her today--

DARIA: _(Now cuts him off gently:)_ --Do you feel--_(pauses:)_ well, uh--_uncomfortable_ with Quinn calling you that?

DARREN: _(Looks at Daria, surprised:)_ Eh? _N-no_, of course not--it's just that, well, maybe that we should make _sure_ that her calling me _"bro"_ is true _after_ the DNA test is done today. I wouldn't want her to be, er--_embarassed_ or something if for some reason or another the test comes out, well--_negative_.

DARIA: _(Eyebrow cocked:)_ You _don't_ think the DNA test will be positive, Darren?

Darren stared at Daria wordlessly for a moment, with no expression. For the briefest of moments, Daria wondered if she said the _wrong_ thing. Darren then spoke.

DARREN: _(Shrugs:)_ I'm _assuming_ that it will be, Daria--we _all_ are. I mean, with the _stories_ that I heard from _(pauses:) your_ parents about what Turley did, and their hearing _my_ story in _comparison_, it _has_ to be true--_(then in a way that sounds like he is trying to convince himself:) right_? I'm just wanting to be _careful_ here, that's all. _(Pauses:)_ Do you think I shouldn't say _anything_ to Quinn about her calling me her _"bro"_?

DARIA: To be _honest_ with you-- _(sighs:) no_, I wouldn't, Darren--at least not until _after_ the test is taken, and if it does turn out negative. I think Quinn's really getting into this _"brother"_ thing, and has _accepted_ it with _no_ questions asked. _(Adds:)_ I mean, _our--(catches herself:) my_ parents think you're their _son_, so, why not let Quinn think the _same_ sort of thing about you being her bro? _(Darren ponders this)_ I mean, if the test _is_ negative, then, well, she won't be the _only_ one to be disappointed, and mom and dad could be there to _help_ her through that.

DARREN: _(Gives a quiet smile:)_ Would _you_ feel _disappointed_ if the test is _negative_, Daria?

Daria's eyes grew _wide_ for the shortest possible moment, then she resumed her _"expressionless expression"_.

DARIA: _(Looks for words, shrugs, in a low voice:)_ I guess I'd be a _little_ disappointed--_(smirks:)_ you know, I couldn't have a bro to _tease mercilessly_ like Quinn--_(Darren grins)_ and I would want to try out some _new_ barbs on _another_ sibling, and I _need_ you to _test_ them on before I use them on anyone else. _(Darren laughs)_

DARREN: Well then, I guess we'd better hope that I'm _ready_ for that, huh?

DARIA: _(A little red-faced, Mona Lisa smile:)_ I guess. _(Smirks, changes subject:)_ So, did dad _really_ catch you in a nightmare?

DARREN: _(Glances at Daria:)_ What do you mean?

DARIA: I mean, dad used to sit down beside Quinn's and my bed when we were little, watching us _while_ we were asleep. When we woke up, he was there _staring_ at us.

DARREN: _(Wide-eyed:)_ You're--_kidding_!

DARIA: Nuh-uh. He did it occasionally until Quinn and I were about eight years old, and then mom _stopped_ him because she thought he was _scaring_ us. I think he came to us about an _hour_ before we woke up, and just _sat_ there, _worried_ about _"his little girls"_. Quinn told me once she kind of _missed_ it once in awhile.

_(Note to reader: Jake did this with an **awake** Daria-see "Ill")_

DARREN: _(Looking uncomfortable:)_ That's--_scary_.

DARIA: _Tell_ me about it--so, _did_ he catch you in the nightmare, or did you wake up and find him there _looking_ at you--_(adds, smirks:)_ and _then_ you thought you were in a _real_ nightmare?

DARREN: _(Smirks back a little at Daria:) Both_. I had the nightmare, and when I woke up, he was there. He put a _hand_ on my shoulder, probably trying to _reassure_ and _comfort_ me, at least from _his_ point of view. I looked right at him and _fell_ out of the bed, _hollering_, because I was startled at the time.

DARIA: _(With a look that says, "Oh God, he's embarassing the family again":) Yeesh_. Look, I'll _speak_ to dad about that so he _won't_ do it again--

DARREN: _(Shakes his head:)_ --No, it's _okay_. I'm guessing that, to _him_, at least, that he's trying to _make up_ the time he _lost_ by not having a--_son_. This may sound _crazy_ to you, and it _probably_ is--but _let_ him _keep_ doing it. _(Daria looks surprised)_ After I got over my _initial_ reaction over what he did, I listened with you all when he talked about _his_ dad, my _possible_ biological grandfather, and I couldn't help but feel a little _sorry_ for him. If it _helps_ him to get to know me _better_ by doing that, it'll be _fine_--for a _while_ at least. _(Narrows eyes:)_ What sort of _"hell"_ did his "Old Man" put him _through_? He said something about a _military school_--?

DARIA: _(Looks up to think for a moment:)_ Hmmm--well, from dad's "rantings", he's told us that grandpa _"Mad Dog"_ Morgendorffer was a real _tyrant_ and _bully_ to him and grandma _Ruth_. Grandma generally looked the _other_ way and _supported_ grandpa when he _rode_ dad. Grandpa wanted dad to be a _"man"_, and thusly sent him to the _Buxton Ridge Military Academy_, which promptly _changed_ dad _forever_. Dad became _bitter_ over what grandpa did, and even got _angry_ with grandma over not standing up to grandpa. _(Note to reader: see "Jake of Hearts")_ That little _"confrontation"_ dad had with grandma over grandpa came after dad had a mild _heart attack. (Sees Darren's concerned look:)_ I said _mild_. He's doing okay now, although he has to watch what he eats. _(Pauses:)_ Speaking of which, I'd better _warn_ you that mom's called _her_ mom, grandma _Evelyn_, and grandma Ruth, along with aunt _Rita_ and aunt _Amy_ to meet you next week.

_(Note to reader: I got the name of Jake's mom from "Jake of Hearts", and the name of Helen's mom from Kara Wild)_

DARREN: Yes, remember the _private eye_ I told you and Quinn that I _hired_ while going on our way to the motel where I stayed at? _(Daria nods:)_ Well, he gave me some _basic_ background info that I had some relatives _outside_ of you guys. What are they _like_?

DARIA: _(Smirks:) Prepare_ yourself. Grandmas Ruth and Evelyn hadn't _seen_ each other in _years_, and there's a _good_ reason for that--they couldn't _stand_ one another then when they had first met.

DARREN: _(Cocked eyebrow:)_ Oh? Why's that?

DARIA: _(Shrugs:)_ What _else_? _"Your son/daughter isn't good enough for my son/daughter"_. Grandma Evelyn at best _tolerates_ dad because she kind of _still_ sees him as the _spineless hippie_ mom had left her family for, and at best tolerates him for _mom's_ sake, while grandma Ruth has _never_ forgiven mom for having the _audacity_ to actually leave the house, and her family, to _work. (Smirks some more:)_ But that's _only_ the beginning. My aunts _Rita_ and _Amy_ are _coming_, too, and maybe my cousin _Erin_ and her husband _Brian_ will tag along, also. The only one _worthy_ of my attention and respect is _my_ favorite aunt, Amy. By the way, _don't_ call her _"Aunt Amy"_, just _"Amy"_.

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ Okay, I will--so _why_ is Amy your _favorite_ aunt?

DARIA: _(Sounding a little like admiration:)_ Well, she doesn't give a _damn_ about what anyone else thinks, like _me_. Amy takes _no_ crap from anybody, and speaks her mind when she _feels_ like it, and tells it like it is. She told me at Erin's wedding that when she was little, she was largely _ignored_ by my mom and aunt Rita, who went at each other to _compete_ over grandma Evelyn's attention. Amy told me she was left only with _color commentary_, and then one day, she found herself all grown-up, and taking no _B.S._ from anyone--_ever_.

_(Note to reader: Of course, this was in "I Don't")_

DARREN: _(Holds his breath, letting it out slowly, sounding unsure:)_ Ooooh--I _seeee_.

DARIA: Ah, _don't_ worry--Amy will _probably_ like you--you're _innocent_ of our family's _neurotic_ tendencies. She likes to use sarcasm just like me to deal with _inordinate stupidity_ when _confronted_ by it. Some in our _nutty_ family say she looks like an _older_ version of me, and with her glasses, I suppose she _does_. However, _I_ think _without_ her glasses, she looks more like _(shudders:) Quinn_. Oh well, I guess even our _heroes_ aren't perfect. _(Nod to Kara Wild on this one)_

DARREN: I guess. _(Looks at his wind-up alarm clock on a table beside his bed:)_ Hmm--it's almost _6:00 a.m._ Good time to go jogging right now--its _cool_ in the morning. _You_ jog?

DARIA: Nope. I tried _once_ with Jane, but after _dragging_ myself home, I vowed to _never_ do it again. There's no way in _hell_ I'd want to _kill_ myself that way. A _self-inflicted gunshot to the head_, yeah--but _no_ jogging.

DARREN: _(Laughs:)_ That's probably because you simply just _jumped_ out there and jogged. Maybe you might want to start _slowly_ and work your way _up_, you know, stretching and such, then--

DARIA: --Jane told me the _same_ thing, and I told her to go take a _hike_. You now have the _honor_ of hearing the _same_ thing--_go take a hike. (Smirks)_

DARREN: _(Grins, holds his palms up, facing Daria:)_ All right, okay! Well, in the meantime, I'll get the feel of the neighborhood, and see you in about an hour, and by that time, you people will be up and about to let me in.

DARIA: All right--and if by some reason mom and dad _die_ between now and then, _I'll_ let you in. _(Yawns:)_ See you then. _(Leaves the room)_

Darren changed into tan sweatpants and a white cotton short-sleeved shirt, and quietly slipped out the Morgendorffer's home. He stopped on the front steps, put his hands over his eyes to shield them from the glare of the rising sun, and breathed in the morning air. Darren went out on the driveway to stretch his muscles, and after about ten minutes, began to jog.

As he jogged, he took in the sites of this tiny suburban town called _Lawndale_, being careful to remember exactly where he was going, and looking at the street signs and for any particular landmarks. Darren had a small black pouch on a belt around his waist, facing the front. It contained a tiny amount of change, the map of Lawndale with the Morgendorffer's home street circled, and a slip of paper with the Morgendorffer's phone number, in case he got lost. He noticed that few people were up at this time of the morning, and that was _fine_ by him. Darren needed to think, and with no distractions, he could do so at his leisure. He jogged up to a statue of a bearded man, and noticed the sign in front of it, which said _"Village Green"_. Darren jogged on the sidewalk that encircled the statue, and then stretched some more.

He remembered the call he gave to his aunt the night before, and of her _shock_ after he told her that he was staying with the Morgendorffers--she sounded _stunned_ that they would take him in so quickly. Of course, Darren _didn't_ tell her about his initial _impression_ of them, for fear that she'd _scream_ for him to come home. All he told her was that the Morgendorffers were very nice people who had invited him to stay over their house after they had _insisted_ for him to do so. His aunt had sounded _reassured_, and said she'd leave for Europe immediately. Darren chuckled to himself over these people who were more than likely his birth family. _Helen_, the hard-driving attorney and _"I-wear-the-pants-in-this-family"_ mother, who seemed to care more about her _job_ than her family (although Darren was _sure_ this _wasn't_ totally true). _Jake_, the _meek_ father who appeared to be _out_ of this world (and of _reality_ itself) at times, except when watching over _Darren. (Darren shuddered slightly over this thought,) Quinn_, the youngest sister who stresses _boys, fashion_, and _popularity_ over anything else (though perhaps there was _more_ to her than meets the eye).

Then there was _Daria_. Darren narrowed his eyes when he thought of her. Where to _start_? She gives the impression that she's _above_ it all, hiding how she _really_ feels behind her sarcasm and _(very)_ dry wit. _No_ facial expressions. No _emotions_. Very _ordinary-looking_ in appearance and in dress, but _highly_ intelligent. _Not_ popular--in fact the very _opposite_ of Quinn. _How_ to tell what she _really_ thinks? Then it _hit_ him--her _writing_. The words Daria wrote were _powerful and dark_, and contained a force that gave him the _chills_, in fact, the _same_ sort of chill he had received when he saw _Doctor Turley_ on his deathbed. Darren _winced_ silently to himself when he thought about Daria, giving himself a _grim_ chuckle.

Darren finished his stretching, and began to jog around the statue again, this time almost retracing his route on his way back to the Morgendorffers. He rounded a corner that was blocked by a tall hedge of bushes and promptly ran _into_ a man, who was wearing a baby blue sweatsuit, and a _woman_, who was wearing a pink sweatsuit, and jogging in the _other_ direction. All three fell unto the pavement, and the woman got up and promptly _screamed_ at Darren.

WOMAN: _(Definitely PO'd:)_ You _MAN_! Can't you watch _where_ you're going?

DARREN: _(Flinches back slightly, looking up at her:)_ Er, _sorry_, ma'am--I didn't see you!

MAN: _(While getting up and offering a hand to Darren, sounding very soft-spoken and timid:)_ Now, _Janet_, I'm sure that we were just as _much_ at fault as this young man, if not _moreso. (Points to a small sign nearby:)_ See? It says _Joggers-One-Way-Only_, and that young man _(motions his head in Darren's direction:) was_ going in the _right_ direction. I'm afraid _we_ were going the _wrong_ way._(Helps Darren up)_

JANET: _(Slightly calmed down, but still glares at Darren:)_ He's a _MAN_! _ALL_ men are _always_ wrong! _(Sees the soft-spoken man wilt slightly over her remark, softens her tone for him)_ Well, maybe _not_ you, _"Skinny". (The soft-spoken man gives a "cute" smile to her)_

DARREN: _(Remembers what Daria told him last night about a "Ms. Barch", carefully chooses his words:)_ Uh, may I ask you a _question_, ma'am?

JANET: _(Raises her voice back at Darren, which makes him flinch again:)_ What _sort_ of question, you _MAN_?! Oh, I _see_! You're trying to _proposition_ me, aren't you?! _All_ of you men _always_ want to proposition us women, _get_ what you _"want"_, and then _spit_ us out--_(points into Darren's chest with every word:) just--like--HIM_! _(The soft-spoken man watching them both cringes back from her ranting)_

DARREN: _(Fights against the urge to run from this "she-demon", asks:)_ No ma'am! It's _nothing_ like that, _really_! _(Looks over at the cringing man, who looks ready to about to cry, points at him)_ I mean, er, I wouldn't have a _chance_ with _him_ around anyway, _right_? I just want to know something--_(narrows eyes:)_ is your _last_ name _Barch_?

JANET: _(Now surprised:) Hah_? _(Frowns:) How_ did you _know_ my name, you _man_? _(Begins to walk towards Darren meanacingly:)_ Have you been _stalking_ me?

DARREN: _(Backs away calmly, holds up his hands:) No ma'am_! It's just that my, uh--_sister_ told me about you, that's all!

JANET: _(Still scowls, moves forward:)_ And _who_ might _that_ be, you _man_?

DARREN: _(Pauses:)_ Um--_Daria Morgendorffer_.

Janet Barch and the cringing man looked at each other, stunned, then Ms. Barch turned back to Darren, and _really_ frowned, this time _rushing_ forward towards him.

JANET: Now I _know_ you're _lying_, you _man_! Daria Morgendorffer's a student of _Timothy O'Neill's_ and mine, and she has no _brothers_, only a sister named Quinn! _(Takes a swing at Darren, who avoids it, and runs for his life)_ Come _back_ here, you _stalker_! _(She now chases him)_

Darren _flew_ around the corner of a nearby building, with Ms. Barch _hot_ on his heels. Only when he hit the _afterburners_ did he lose her, but not before he heard her shout:

JANET: Wait until I call the _police_, you _scum_! There's no place you'll be able to hide from _them_--or _me_!

Darren ran _wide-eyed_, and did not stop until he was sure he had _completely_ lost that woman--and eventually _himself_. He looked around for any sort of landmark while leaning against a telephone pole, and gasping for breath. He then scratched his head in confusion--he was _lost_. Darren took out the map of Lawndale from his pouch and spread it out on a nearby bench, slowly tracing his finger from the street where the Morgendorffers lived relative to his current position. He looked around and saw immediately that he was near some _shops_. Taking the map with him, Darren followed the street until he saw a street sign that said _Dega Street_. This was Lawndale's _dying_ shopping district, thanks to _Cranberry Commons_. He folded up the map and put it back in his pouch, and began to make his way back to the Morgendorffers, all the while _watching out_ for that _Barch_ woman. He paused for a second when he thought about that, and _chuckled_ to himself at at the irony--_another_ female was _after_ him--but _this_ time, wanted to _hurt_ him, not try to _like_ him--quite an--_interesting_ change in a way.

_(Scene is back at the Morgendorffer's--the same time)_

Helen Morgendorffer was preparing to do the _unthinkable_--take a _half-day_ off from work, her final day working until she and Jake would be off for vacation all of next week. There was so much to do between now and then, with her mother, mother-in-law, and sisters coming over to see Darren, and in that aspect, her _house_ for the first time, save for Amy, Ruth, and her niece Erin, who had been over before. Then she thought about the _DNA test_ she had arranged for her, Jake, and Darren to take at the _Cedars of Lawndale_ Hospital, a test she thought there was _no_ need for, for from the moment she _saw_ Darren standing up and _looking_ at her and Jake in the food court, she knew _immediately_ that this _handsome_ young man was indeed her and Jake's _son_. Any trace of _doubt_ or _skepticism_ had _vanished_--those _eyes_ did the _trick_ for her--the type of eyes that only a _mother_ could understand. Helen thought of what her mother, Amy, and Rita would think when they saw Darren, and _smirked_. Her mother had _no_ sons, of course, and her dad _Howard Barksdale_ had always wanted one, instead getting Amy, and according to Amy, _holding_ it _against_ her.

Then there was _Rita_. Helen thought about how it seemed how her mother would always _favor_ Rita over her, and all of the _fights_ that would take place between she and her sister. The rivalry was _always_ fierce between the two, vying for their mother's attention, with, from Helen's point of view, _Rita_ coming out on top more than often. Well now, with _Darren_, the scales could be tipped in _her_ direction, _not_ Rita's. Even with the long _talk_ she and her sisters and mother had had when Helen had _separated_ from Jake for a few days, both _still_ had that rivalry. After all, one simply can't sweep years of _resentment_ under the rug after _one_ talk, right?

_(Read Kara Wild's terrific fanfics "The Tie That Chokes" for Amy's visit, and "None In The Family" for Helen's father's name, Amy's claim, and the Barksdale-Morgendorffer women's "talk")_

Helen smirked _again_ at this thought while she sat at the table and drank her usual cup of coffee, when her cell phone rang. She clicked the phone on.

HELEN: _(In her falsetto voice:) Helloooo_?

VOICE: _(Sounding soft and hesitant:) H-hello_, M-Mrs. _Morgendriffer_?

Helen _frowned_. She knew _immediately_ who this voice belonged to, having heard it several times concerning her daughters about school. It represented everything she _loathed--slow_, and _unsure_, not knowing how to proceed, _easily_ intimidated--something Helen Morgendorffer vowed she'd _never_ go through again, not since that night she had decided to allow that _S.O.B._ Turley to _"operate"_ on her after she thought Jake had fainted.

HELEN: _(Annoyed:)_ Hello, _Mr. O'Neill_, and it is Morgen_DORFFER_, at least get it _right_! If this is about Quinn's _grades_, you'd _better_ have one _hell_ of an _explanation_ as to _why_ you're calling about them _now_! Why did you wait to say there was a _mistake_ in her passing? You _do_ realize--

MR. O'NEILL: _(Cuts her off frantically:)_ --N-no, no, Mrs. Morgendorffer! It's _not_ about Quinn! I'm calling to ask if you've ever heard of a young man who _claims_ to be your and your husband's _son_--Daria and Quinn's _brother_!

HELEN: _(Stunned:)_ H-how did you know about my _son_, Mr. O'Neill? What in the _hell_ is this all about?!

MR. O'NEILL: _(Sounding equally stunned:)_ Y-you mean that that fellow _is_ your son? B-but _how_--?

HELEN: _(Now furious:)_ I _ASKED_ you a _question_, Mr. O'Neill! _How_ did you _know_ about my son?!

MR. O'NEILL: _(In his "I'd-better-hurry-up-or-this-woman-will-kill-me" mode:) Eep!I'msorry,Mrs.Morgendorffer!Ms.BarchandIwerejoggingtogetherandweranintothisyoungmanwhoclaimedthatDariawashissister--_

HELEN: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ He _is_ Jake and mine's son, Mr. O'Neill, and _slow down_! You said he was jogging when you and Ms. Barch ran into him?

MR. O'NEILL: _(Now a bit calmer:)_ Y-yes, Mrs. Morgendorffer! B-but I-I don't understand--

HELEN: It's _quite_ a _long_ story, Mr. O'Neill, one I _can't_ tell to you over the phone. Now, what _happened_ to him?

MR. O'NEILL: W-well, Mrs. Morgendorffer, after we ran into him, I helped him up. M-Ms. Barch, w-who's _standing_ here beside me at the telephone booth, g-got _angry_ with him, and--_(voice changes)_

MS. BARCH: _(Sounding a bit apologetic:)_ --I thought he was trying to _proposition_ me because he told me my last name, and I'd never seen him before. He said that Daria was his _sister_, and I said that Daria _never_ had a brother. I--_swung_ at him, but he avoided me, and ran away. I _chased_ him a little bit, but I lost him. I was going to call the _police_, but _Skin_--I mean, _Mr. O'Neill_, wanted me to call your house _first_ to see if that young man's claim was true. _(Pauses:)_ He really _is_ your son?

HELEN: _(Sighs, tries to remain calm:)_ Yes, Ms. Barch, he is, or I _assume_ will be after my husband and I take a _DNA test_ with him later today. I only hope he didn't get _lost_.

MS. BARCH: I'm _so_ sorry, Mrs. Morgendorffer. Mr. O'Neill and I plan to resume our jog and keep an eye out for that _MAN_--I mean, your _son_. Is there _anything_ we can do?

HELEN: _(Thought v.o.: Haven't you done enough, **man-hater**?)_ No, no--_wait_. Maybe you _can_ do something. I'd like to ask you and Mr. O'Neill to keep _quiet_ over what you heard concerning our son. My husband and I want no unnecessary _gossip_ to _spread_ around the area, and we want to break the news to everyone on our _own_ terms--will you _please_ do that?

MS. BARCH: Of course, dearie--it's the least we can do. _(Pauses:)_ I have _one_ question to ask, though--_what_ is your son's _name_, in case we spot him while we're out?

HELEN: _(Sounding relieved:)_ His name is _Darren_. Thank you, Ms. Barch, goodbye.

MS. BARCH: _Darren_--goodbye, Mrs. Morgendorffer. _(Hangs up)_

Helen clicked off her cell phone and sat down at the table a little _worried_. She thought about telling _Jake_, who, like her was getting ready to work a half-day, but she held back out of knowing that he'd go _berserk_, and tear out of the house looking for Darren, the _last_ thing any of them would need right now. She narrowed her eyes, deep in thought. Helen considered that her son seemed to be a responsible young man, and there was no need to panic, at least not yet. She decided to wait at least for at least about _twenty_ minutes, then alert the others. About this time, Jake walked into the kitchen tying his necktie, getting some coffee.

JAKE: _(Excited:)_ Hi, honey! _(Bends down to kiss Helen's cheek:)_ Today's the day we get that DNA test thingy! Are ya ready, Helen?

HELEN: _(Tries to sound calm, covers her nervousness to keep Jake in the dark:) What_? Oh yes, Jakey. It's a _big_ day, today, yes indeed.

JAKE: _(Narrows his eyes:)_ Say, honey, you _okay_? I heard the phone ringing when I was changing in my clothes in our bedroom, and I knew you were downstairs and let you get it. Something wrong? _Who_ was on the phone?

HELEN: _(Widens her eyes:)_ It was a--_wrong_ number, Jakey, and _nothing's_ wrong with me! I'm just--a little _nervous_ about the test we're taking today, that's all. I suppose the phone suddenly ringing like that made me a little--_jumpy_.

JAKE: _(Sits down beside Helen, puts his arm around her:)_ Aw, it's all right, Helen. _You're_ the one who said he's our son, and after looking at him _myself_, I can see that you're _right_! That test is just a mere _formality. (Chuckles:)_ Don't tell me you've gotten _second_ thoughts?

HELEN: _(With a quick glare at Jake:)_ No, of course not, Jake. I'm just thinking--_(changes the subject:)_ about, uh--_next_ week, you know, with our mothers, my sisters, and Erin and Brian coming over, and how we'll have to handle the _expected_ chaos over our mothers coming _together_, and all that.

JAKE: _(Waves Helen off:)_ Oh--well now, I wouldn't worry too much over _that_, honey. I'm guessing _Darren_ might be able to help everybody _come_ together and stuff. When our mothers take one _look_ at him, they'll go _ga-ga_!

HELEN: _(Glances at the front door in the living room, expecting to see Darren at any moment:)_ I suppose they will, Jakey--I suppose they will.

Darren had finally found his way back to the Morgendorffer's, although he had to go around the way he came through before because of that _Barch_ woman. He was into his jogging regimen again and had spotted the Morgendorffer home base, when a beat-up, smoking, early-70's model blue Pinto came driving past him, leaving him in a cloud of smoke, gas, and oil fumes. He coughed and waved his hands, trying to fan the smoke away from him. Darren noticed that the car pulled in _front_ of the Morgendorffer's, and a young man with not-quite shoulder-length brown hair got out of the car. Though he couldn't see the man from a distance too clearly, the man looked _worried_. Darren picked up his pace going back.

Helen suddenly heard the doorbell ring. Jake had went back upstairs to finish getting ready for work, so she wouldn't have to worry about him seeing her _reaction_ over Darren coming back. She felt relieved--her _baby_ was okay. Helen rushed to the front door, and reached out to _hug and kiss_ her son.

HELEN: _(Sobs slightly, eyes closed:)_ Oh, _son_! It's okay! You're _home_, now! _(Kissing the person she **thinks** is Darren's cheeks)_

TOM: _(Eyes wide open over Helen's fierce hug and cheek kisses:) Mrs. Morgendorffer_! _Stop_! What _are_ you doing?! _(Helen's eyes open, grow even bigger than Tom's, and she draws back, horrified)_

Darren saw the woman who could be his birth mother _hug and kiss_ this _stranger_. What in the _hell_ was going on?

Jake, who had come out of his room with his briefcase, and Daria, who along with Quinn were in their nightclothes, had come out of their rooms and had met their father in the hallway, and then came down the stairs. They became _stunned_ at what they saw. What in the _hell_ was going on?

JAKE: _(Grows furious:)_ What-the-_hell_--?

QUINN: _(Frowns in disgust:) EWWWWWW_!

DARIA: _(Stunned for an instant, then smirks while coming down the stairs with Quinn and Jake:)_ Now, _how_ long has _this_ been going on? What will _Jane_ think? Mom, I didn't know you had it _in_ you! _(Begins singing in her sarcastic tone, Mona Lisa smile:) Mom and Tom, sitting in a tree--_

HELEN & TOM: _(Both frantically waving their arms, hollering over each other, Tom wiping his cheeks:) NO, NO_! It's _not_ what you think! _No_ way in hell--_(both look at each other, red-faced:) no offense! I only like Jane! Jake, I only love you! Nothing happened!_

HELEN: _(Quickly steps in front of an **angry** Jake, who's coming down the stairs past Daria and Quinn, and staring **daggers** at a **frightened** Tom:)_ Take it _easy_ Jake! I thought Tom was _Darren_!

DARREN: _(Looks in the doorway:) That_ was for _me_?

HELEN: _(Sees Darren, delighted:)_ Oh, son! Thank _God_ you're okay! _(Runs forward and hugs him, but leaves Tom er, **defenseless**)_

TOM: _(Eyes **really** wide open now, because Jake isn't stopping, looks at Helen **frantically**:)_ Uh, Mrs. Morgendorffer, _help_ me!

HELEN: _(Takes her attention away from Darren, frowns at Jake:) JAKE_! GET A _GRIP_!

DARIA: _(Steps up:)_ Um, you know, Mom, for _some_ reason that I can't quite _gasp_, I kind of think that is the _worse_ possible thing you can say to Dad at this _critical_ moment in time--

JAKE: _(Suddenly snaps out of his rage just as he was about to put his hands around Tom's neck:) Huh_? _(Sees Darren, grins:)_ Oh, _hi_, Big Guy! Been joggin', huh? _(Tom wipes his head in relief, sighs)_

DARREN: Uh, yes I _have. (Looks down at Helen:)_ Ah, _why_ the sudden show of _affection_?

HELEN: Mr. O'Neill and Ms. Barch called me this morning and told me you ran into them while jogging. Ms. Barch said she swung at you because she thought you had _propositioned_ her--

DARIA: _(More smirking:) --Wow_, Darren, _first_ Mom _and_ Tom, and _now_ you _and_ Ms. Barch? I guess _love_ is _truly_ in the air-- _(Darren snickers at this, while Helen and Tom scowl at Daria, red-faced again--even Quinn tries not to laugh, while Jakes stares at Darren like a grinning idiot again)_

HELEN: --_DARIA_! _(Looks back at Darren:)_ Anyway, she said you ran off and out of sight, and I thought you might've gotten _lost_ or something. I decided to wait for a little to see if you came in, which you did.

JAKE: _(Snaps out of his "trance", inquisitive:) Hey_, Helen! You told me that phone call was a _wrong_ number this morning, _not_ Ms. Barch and Mr. O'Neill!

HELEN: _(Sighs, goes up to Jake, puts her hand on his chest:)_ I'm sorry, Jakey. I didn't want you to be _worried_--

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ --Or driving out on the street like a _madman_ looking for Darren--_(Helen glares at Daria) what_? _(Looks at Tom, motions to him to follow her into the den:)_ C'mon, Tom--I've got the feeling that you've come to talk to me, am I right?

TOM: _(While following Daria:)_ Er, yeah, Daria--did I just _hear_ your parents say that this guy _"Darren"_ is--

DARIA: --Their _son_ and mine and Quinn's _bro_? Uh-huh, just _about_--it's kind of a _long_ story. I'll explain in our den, and tell you about Jane's call to me last night. _(Both she and Tom disappear in the den)_

DARREN: _(Looks at Helen:)_ Actually, I _did_ get lost--for a few minutes, anyway. But I had the map of Lawndale in my pouch here, _(pulls out map to show Helen, Jake, and Quinn:)_ and I read it, followed it, and it turned out okay.

QUINN: _(Walks up to Darren:)_ Darren, can we go _out_ today? We can go to eat out at _Chez Pierre_, and--

HELEN: _(Glares at Quinn:)_ --Now Ouinn, Your father and I are going with Darren to the hospital about 1:30 today for the test. He _won't_ be able to eat lunch with you at _Chez Pierre_.

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes:) MUH--OOOM_! You and dad won't be with Darren at the hospital _all_ day, right? Darren and I can go _after_ you get back --

HELEN: _(No-nonsense tone:)_ --And _ruin_ your appetite for dinner? I _don't_ think so, young lady!

DARREN: _(Looks over at Quinn:)_ Hey, it's okay, Quinn--we can go to eat at this _"Chez Pierre"_ early next week, or whenever. How about you, me, and Daria go out to eat lunch _before_ I go to the hospital? You know, a cafe or something?

QUINN: _(Disappointed, but somewhat pacified:)_ Oh, okay. _(Thinks:)_ I guess we can go to that _Pizza King_ place that Daria and her _weirdo_ friend Jane go to, and I can get _cheeseless_ pizza, or something.

HELEN: _(Satisfied:)_ Good. You and Daria can _bond_ with Darren, and then he can take you two _with_ him to the hospital. _(Looks at her watch:)_ Oh! I'm late! _(Gets her briefcase that was lying near the door:)_ I'll see you later at the hospital, Jakey, Darren, Quinn. _(Leaves out the front)_

JAKE: _(Looks at his watch, too:) Yipes_! I gotta go, too! Take it easy, you two! _(Snatches up his briefcase, and leaves, shuts the door)_

QUINN: _(Stretches, yawns:)_ Gee, I'm still tired, Darren. _(Goes to kitchen, followed by Darren)_

DARREN: _(Smirks:)_ Maybe you wouldn't feel so tired, Quinn, if you excercise _and_ jog.

Quinn and Darren entered the kitchen.

QUINN: _Jog_? _(Shudders:) EEEW_! I'd get _hot n'sweaty_ n' stuff! Sweat does _not_ look good on the _fashionably correct_. It's so--_icky_. Besides, I watch my weight by eating right and stuff. _(Opens refrigerater door, gets out fruit and a diet soda:)_ See? This is all I need for breakfast. _(Sits down at the table while Darren gets a bowl and pours out some cereal, then sits at the table with Quinn)_

DARREN: _(Shrugs, sits down at the table:)_ Suit yourself. I meant to tell you about going to the Fashion Institute--you need a _good_ grade point average to get in, Quinn. What was it in high school this year?

Quinn _moaned_--this was _not_ a good sign to Darren, who cocked an eyebrow in curiousity.

_(Scene changes to the den, about 10 minutes later)_

Daria had explained to Tom the story about Darren. Tom, of course was just as shocked as she thought he'd be.

TOM: That's--_incredible_!

DARIA: Yeah, I know--_instant_ brother--_maybe. (Changes subject abruptly:)_ Look, before you ask, Jane called me last night. _(Narrows her eyes:)_ I was able to convince her to give you _another_ chance, and you _damn_ well _better_ make the _most_ of it, because I'm _not_ gonna keep trying to put you both together.

TOM: _(Grows quiet:)_ Yeah, I see your _point_. It _was_ stupid of me to think that Jane doesn't take her art _seriously_, dismissing the argument like that.

DARIA: She also said that you _control_ her.

TOM: _(Raises an eyebrow:) What_? Hey, I want what _Jane_ wants! I _don't_ control her! _Where'd_ she get that? What in the world is _she_ seeing?

DARIA: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Hey, we girls see things you guys _don't_. Maybe if you looked through _her_ eyes, you'd see what _she_ sees. _(Pauses, hesitates:)_ Look, Tom--I'm going to ask you to do _one_ thing for me concerning what's going on between you and Jane.

TOM: And _that_ is---?

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ Leave me _out_ of it from now on, okay? This isn't the _"Dating Game"_, and I'm not the _host. (Goes into a dark tone:)_ You've gotten _one_ more chance, mister--_make_ it count. Call her _tonight_.

TOM: _(Considers the tone of Daria's words:)_ Okay, fair enough--no more _dragging_ you in the middle of our problems, Daria. I know you've done _more_ than enough, and I want to _thank_ you for that.

DARIA: _(Smiles slightly at him, catches herself, then suddenly frowns:)_ As you _damn_ well _should_, Tom. Jane's my friend, and I don't want to see her _hurt_.

TOM: Don't worry, Daria--I'd never _willingly hurt_ Jane--

DARIA: _(Cocks eyebrow:)_ --Or otherwise _unwillingly_, right?

TOM: _(Chuckles softly:)_ Right. _(Pauses:)_ I'd better get to work, then. See you.

DARIA: Okay, then, and good luck--break a _leg. (Thought v.o.: Just--just don't break a damn **heart**.)_

Tom and Daria came out of the den just as Quinn and Darren were coming out of the kitchen.

QUINN: _(Frowns:)_ I have to have at least a _"B"_ average to get in? That's _not_ fair! I'd _have_ to be like a freakin' _brain_ to do _that_!

DARREN: Sorry, Quinn--that's what I heard about enrolling in the Fashion Institute. We can get into their _website_ later on your _laptop_ and see what they have in their curriculum.

QUINN: _(Looks down, pouts:)_ Oh, _all right_.

TOM: Hello, Darren. _(Extends hand)_

DARREN: _(Shakes Tom's hand:)_ Hello, Tom--nice to meet you, although it was under less than--_ideal_ circumstances. _(Grins)_

TOM: _(Grins as well:)_ Sorry you thought I was making a _"move"_ on your _mom_.

Darren stopped for a brief moment and thought about Tom's seemingly _innocuous_ remark. His _mom_? They would all find out later if this were true--for the moment, he let it slide, and spoke.

DARREN: No problem--I don't think she was your _"type"_, anyway.

DARIA: _(Smirks, looks at Tom:)_ Hey, if you and Jane can't work out your differences, maybe my mom will be _available_ for a _torrid_ affair.

TOM: _(Rolls his eyes:)_ No offense, but _that'll_ be the day. See you all.

DARIA: Adios. _(Opens door for Tom, who leaves, then shuts the door, gives a little sigh:)_ And that is _that_.

QUINN: _(Disgusted look:) Ugh_! Jane sure knows how to _pick_ 'em, huh?

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ Look _who's_ talking. _You_ pick guys about as often as a _snot-covered booger_ is picked out of a _nose_ --by _anybody_--at anytime. MMM-yum! _Brown gold, Texas-tee_! _(Darren tries to hold it in, but to no avail, for he's laughing out loud)_

QUINN: _(Now so disgusted, she dosen't notice Darren's reaction:) EWWWWWWW_! You're _gross_, Daria! I'm gettin' out of here! _(Goes upstairs)_

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ I've done it _again_--Quinn has been _driven away. Damn_, I'm good. _(Looks at a still-laughing Darren:)_ I _do_ hope I've started _your_ day right, _bro_--Ms. Barch's little _"chase"_ notwithstanding.

DARREN: _(Tries to control his laughing:)_ O-oh I'm g-getting there, Daria. When do you want to leave for the Lane's?

DARIA: Let me change out of my pajamas, shower, and I'll be ready in an hour. I'll use the master bath in mom and dad's room.

DARREN: Okay, and I'll use the guest bath--_(stops, realizes something, his smile slowly fades, looks directly at Daria:)_ uh, Daria--?

DARIA: Huh? What is it?

DARREN: _(Hesitates:)_ Ah, I don't know if you _noticed_ this or not--but, well--you just called me, uh--your _"bro"_. 

Daria's eyes grew _wide_ in realization--Darren was _right_. She _did_ call him that--and it seemed to come out in a _casual_ way, like it was _always_ so. What just _got into_ her? _Why_ did she _say_ that? For a _rare_ moment, Daria felt _exposed_, as if her inner _weakness_ had been _torn_ away--she considered herself _fortunate_ that Darren did _not_ know her that well--if it had been _Jane_, she'd _die_ of embarassment, not that she wasn't feeling it _now_, at least a little. She quickly developed an _excuse_ to _cover_ herself.

DARIA: _(Shrugs, gives a quick little smile:)_ Well, uh--_why not_? If _Quinn_ can get _away_ with calling you that, and mom and dad can get away with calling you their _son_, then I might as well get with the _program_ too. _(Turns around quickly:)_ See you in a few--er, _bro. (Leaves up the stairs quickly)_

Darren stared up at the stairs for a moment, then slowly _smiled_. He then started up the stairs as well. He did not know that Daria had quickly went into her room, leaned against her closed door, _completely_ red-faced, and _relieved_ to get past the moment, taking deep breaths.

_(Scene changes to the Appleton Tower, the same time)_

William Appleton stood in the middle of his office, a large, opulent area with a huge oak desk and a white Persian rug in front of the desk. There were two white leather couches that sat perpendicular to the desk in the front of it, and both couches were on either side of the rug, which lay on the black plushy carpet of the entire office floor. Sitting on the rug was an ivory coffee table, and on the table was a silver tray with a silver pot full of tea, some biscuits, and sugar. The walls that surrounded the office on three sides were made of white marble, with tall oak bookcases full of books on two of the walls, and a small oak conference table with four chairs along the other wall. The remaining wall was of tinted glass, with a breathtaking view of the New York City skyline. The office's fluorescent lighting was turned down so that the light that had shown through from the outside was the predominant light. Benny, who was writing on a pad, was sitting on one of the couches, listening to William, who in turn was staring out of the window across his desk.

WILLIAM: _(Deep in thought:)_ --Yes, Benny, _Leonard Potter_ has to be _dealt_ with as soon as possible. I'm _sick_ and _tired_ of his _damn_ legalistic company nonsense. Every time I make a _move_, he sticks his nose in, and says _(in a mocking tone:) "We can't do this, we can't do that"_. I think a _transfer_ way out to our _West_ coast branch will do him some good, as well as us, and then we can put _our_ own legal man in.

BENNY: I'm on it, Boss. _(Smirks:)_ That stiff jerk's as good as gone, but--_(hesitates, while William cuts his eyes back to Benny)_ do you think he'll go _willingly_, Boss? He might _fight_ it. _(William grins at this)_

WILLIAM: _Let_ him. My _dream_ would be to see Leonard _quit_ in protest, but I'll guess that he'd _fight_ it, not that it will do him _any_ good, because we have an opening in the legal department out there that needs to be filled, and I can say that he's the _only_ one that can fill it, based on his _experience_. If he fights it, I'm within my power to _fire_ that _bastard_. Either way, I _can't_ lose.

BENNY: _(Grins wickedly:) Shrewd_, Boss. _(Looks down at some notes on the coffee table:)_ The _energy division chief_ should be up here soon for that meeting she wants.

WILLIAM: _(Scowls, sits down in the couch opposite of Benny:)_ That damn _know-it-all shrew_. I _hope_ she says she _can't_ sell those two nuclear plants so I can _fire_ her. _(Looks at Benny with a bit of a reflective look on his face:)_ You know, Benny--I _miss_ the good old days, when women _knew_ their place, stayed at home, and _laid up_ and had the _babies_. They'd cook our _food_, washed our _clothes_, and raised our _children. (Shakes his head slowly:) Damn_, I'm glad I _didn't_ marry in this day and age, or _ever_. My wife would run _everything_, and I'd have to _cower_ at every _rant_ she'd make. It would have been _pathetic--hell_, I'd have no _backbone_, because if I'd ever laid a _hand_ on her in anger, I'd be in _jail_ so fast, my head would spin.

BENNY: _(Nods his head, grows quiet:) Yeah_, Boss--those _were_ the days.

The intercom on William's desk buzzed, and his secretary came on the speaker.

SECRETARY: Mr. Appleton, Ms. _Constance Waters_ is here.

WILLIAM: _(Gets up with Benny:)_ Very good, send her in.

The secretary opened the door, and Constance Waters walked in holding a folder. She had been in the divisional meeting a few days before, the one division chief that had _stood up_ to William. Constance had a _confident_ air about her, dressed in a blue power suit, with deep brown eyes, and had brown and gray-streaked, shoulder-length hair. Her face was rather youthful-looking, with what William would classify as something of a--_smirk_? _Could it be--_?

CONSTANCE: Thank you for meeting me on such short notice, William. _(Shakes his hand)_

WILLIAM: Well, I was rather _curious_ as to why you'd insist on meeting me so quickly after our divisional meeting. _(Manages a faux smile:)_ Don't tell me you've already _sold_ those plants, eh?

CONSTANCE: _(Definitely smirks even more now:)_ Okay, I _won't_ tell you, William.

WILLIAM: _(Eyes grow as big as saucers:)_ Y-you _DID_? _(Pauses, narrows his eyes at her:)_ Did you sell them at a _profit_?

CONSTANCE: _(Gives William the folder:)_ See for yourself. _(William looks in the folder) Fuju_, a Japanese energy subsidiary of _Tsunama_, bought _both_, and intend to convert them to garbage-burning plants. _(Smiles:)_ Not only _that_, but they intend to _share_ the cost of converting it with us in return for _our_ investment _in_ Tsunama--we will have a _50%_ share of it--pending approval from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission and the Federal Trade Commission.

WILLIAM: _(Stunned with Benny:) W-what_? H-how? Appleton's been trying for _years_ to get in that area of the Asian market! _(Looks in the folder again, with an equally-stunned Benny looking over his shoulder)_

CONSTANCE: _Simple_. As I said before, we'd help them convert--for a share of their head company, Tsumana. Garbage-burning plants are _very_ profitable these days, and Fuju wanted a share in the American market as well, so we stepped in _their_ market, and they stepped in _ours_. I'd like to add we came out _ahead_ in making a profit--at least a _33%_ profit margin for us in terms of investing in their market verses the cost of helping them convert our two plants. Their chairman will be here next week to sign the agreement with you. _(William looks up slowly from the folder, with a strained look on his face)_

WILLIAM: _(Shakes his head slowly, faux impressed:)_ Well, I must say, Constance, I _am_ pleased with this. _(Shakes her hand:)_ Good work, good work indeed. You, of course, _will_ be there for the signing?

CONSTANCE: _(Smirks:) Of course_. Now, if there's anything else--?

WILLIAM: _(Distracted:)_ Eh? Oh, no--no, not anything else. Get in touch with my secretary, and I'll see you then. Benny, see Constance out, will you?

BENNY: _(Follows Constance:)_ Sure thing, Boss.

CONSTANCE: Until then--goodbye. _(Benny opens door, she leaves office, Benny shuts door behind her)_

William stared at the door for a moment more, then _scowled_.

WILLIAM: _(Through clenched teeth, throws his arms in the air:) DAMN, DAMN, DAMN_! Hell, Benny--_I_ couldn't get Tsunama, but _Constance_ could? What does _she_ have that _I_ don't?

BENNY: _(Shrugs:)_ Beats the _hell_ out of me, Boss--but _so_ what? Appleton will come out on _top_, and _you'll_ get the _credit_.

WILLIAM: _(Glares at Benny, who cowers:)_ That's _not_ the _point_, you _idiot_! When the Board _and_ the stockholders hear of this, Constance will score some damn _brownie points_ with them! Hell, she may even _challenge_ my control someday! _(Slumps down at his desk, dejected)_

BENNY: _(In a condescending tone:)_ Boss, maybe you should take it _easy_--

WILLIAM: _(In a low tone:)_ --Get _out_, and leave me _alone_, Benny.

BENNY: _(Narrows his eyes, strains to hear:)_ Sorry, Boss, but _what'd_ you say?

WILLIAM: _(Now enraged, gets up out of his seat:) I SAID GET THE HELL OUT_!

Benny _cringed_ back, and immediately left out.

William slouched back in his chair, and looked out at the city.

WILLIAM: _(Thought v.o.: No one's going to take Appleton from me--NO one!)_


	7. Chapter 7

"Revelations--A 'Daria' Fanfic" Part 3 By Steven Galloway SGall23241@aol.com 

_(To the reader: I've typed it once, and I'll type something like it again: they'll be no recap since you've come this far, and I'm assuming you're still interested--at least I hope so--so, remember, please read it like a **book**! Now, on with the story.)_

Chapter 7- First Meetings

Daria came down the stairs into the living room where she found Darren waiting for her.

DARREN: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ Ready to go?

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ I've been ready to go from this _world_ for _years_--oh, I'm sorry--you mean to the _Lane's_? I guess. We can walk there. _(Leaves out front door, followed by Darren)_

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ You _never_ stop, do you?

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Only when I'm _dead_ will I stop. Until then, the world will _see_ me and _hear_ me in my own _special_ way, and it can see me and hear me say it can go to _hell_.

DARREN: _(Smirks himself now:) No_ compromise from you, eh?

DARIA: You see, that depends on what _you_ think this _thing_ called _"compromise"_ is. To compromise is to _"give-and-take"_ on any particular issue. If any _jerk_ comes up with something that _insults_ my _intelligence_, then I'll _give_ it, and they can _take_ it. _See_? _Simple_.

DARREN: _(Laughs, looks at Daria:)_ Such a--_direct_ way at looking at things.

DARIA: _(Mona Lisa smile:) I_ thought so.

The two came up to a light brown, almost yellowish-looking two-story wood-paneled house, with several shrubs in front of it, that had something that looked like a _sculpture_ in the freshly-cut front yard. Darren stopped to examine the sculpture while Daria continued up the concrete sidewalk, which separated the front yard that led to the front door.

DARREN: _(While going back to Daria, motions his head at the sculpture:) Post-modern_?

DARIA: _(While searching for the key on her chain that Jane gave her:)_ Post-_something_. I've _never_ really asked Jane. Ah, here we go. _(Unlocks door)_

Daria walked into the Lane's living room with Darren, and as soon as they walked in, two cats, a gray-striped one, and a white one, came up to them. The gray-striped cat leapt into Daria's arms, purring.

DARIA: _(Smirks, rubs between the cat's ears:)_ Hey, _Zachary_. I assume this display of affection is a result of your wanting to _eat_, now? Trying to get on my _good_ side--you should know by now I have _no_ good side.

The other cat was picked up by Darren, and it also purred as he rubbed its fur.

DARREN: _(Softly speaks to it:)_ Hello, kitty--um--_(looks at Daria)_

DARIA: Your cat's name is _Taylor_.

DARREN: _(Smiles:) "Zachary"_? _"Taylor"_? As in the 12th President of the United States? _(Puts Taylor down)_

DARIA: _(Puts Zachary down:)_ One in the same. _(Smirks:)_ Don't ask me _why_--except maybe when these cats _die_, they won't be missed _or_ known by _anybody_--much like _"Old Rough and Ready"_ himself. Wait in the living room while I go and feed these two. _(Goes into the Lane's kitchen while the cats follow her)_

Darren looked around at the various paintings on the walls that Jane had done, and the pottery pieces on the coffee table and end tables that Amanda Lane had created. Daria came back out of the kitchen with a bit of a _confused_ frown on her otherwise impassive face.

DARREN: _(Takes note of Daria's frown:)_ What's wrong?

DARIA: They're two _opened_ cans of cat food on the kitchen table, meaning somebody's _already_ fed them this morning, and there's some dirty dishes and cups in the sink as well. _(Smirks:)_ You don't suppose _"Goldilocks"_ has been in?

DARREN: _(Smirks back at Daria, looks around:)_ Maybe one of the Lanes are _already_ here--?

DARIA: If it is, it's gotta be _Wind, Summer, Penny,_ or _perish_ the thought--_Mr. Lane_. Though I can't be too sure of _any_ of them being around.

DARREN: What do you mean, Daria?

DARIA: Let me put it this way--if you thought _our_ family is _dysfunctional_, you haven't met the Lanes. Most of the time, the _only_ people here are Trent and Jane. Mr. Lane and Mrs. Lane are basically gone _all_ the time, he with his _photography_, and she with her _pottery_, and the rest of the Lane siblings are scattered all over the _world_. Wind Lane can't keep a _wife_, Summer Lane can't keep her _kids_, and Penny Lane can't keep her _citizenship_ because of politics and _wild_ get-rich-quick gimmicks in those third-world Central American countries. Jane and Trent basically fend for themselves. Now, as I told you, Mrs. Lane _is_ taking a vacation with Jane, maybe trying to create some sort of _bond_ with her.

DARREN: _(Smiles uneasily:) Oh_. I guess the old saying is true, you know, something like, _"As bad as you think you might have it in life, there's always someone worse off"._

DARIA: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Don't tell me you see the glass as _half-full_?

DARREN: I see the glass _needing_ to be full, or at least where's there enough in it to _pass_ as full. What I'm saying is, Daria, is you could have had it _worse_ in your life when you compare _your_ family to the Lanes. _(Smirks:)_ In fact, you said it _yourself_ when you told me about them, remember? So as bad as you think the _Morgendorffer_ family is, there's the Lanes to _compare_ them to. Your _"hell"_ might not be quite as _bad_ as theirs.

DARIA: _(Ponders what Darren has said for a second, grudgingly admits:)_ Okay, you've _got_ me there. _(Pauses:)_ Of course, Jane and Trent _never_ had a sister like _Quinn_, so my hell _there_ is _worse_ than their's. _(Darren laughs, while Daria looks around:)_ That still doesn't get us any closer to _who_ fed Zachary and Taylor.

Darren stopped laughing and narrowed his eyes for a moment, listening.

DARIA: What?

DARREN: I thought I heard someone _talking. (Pause:)_ You _hear_ that?

DARIA: _(After pausing to hear:) Yeah_. It sounds like it's coming from the _cellar. (Walks in that direction, and Darren follows her)_

Daria and Darren followed the muffled voices to the cellar door. It sounded like there was some sort of _heated_ discussion.

DARREN: _(Listens through the door, whispers:)_ Do you _know_ those voices, Daria?

DARIA: _(Hearing it for a moment, in the same tone:)_ Hey, it's _Mystik Spiral_. They're back a few days early. _(Knocks on door)_

VOICE: _(Muffled:)_ Huh? _Who's_ that?

DARIA: _(Shouts:)_ It's Daria!

The door opened, and Trent was at it. He noticed Daria and some _guy_ beside her. He cocked an eyebrow at the fellow for a moment, and then looked down at Daria.

TRENT: _(Slight smile:)_ Hey, Daria. _Who's_ this _guy_ with you?

DARIA: Hey, Trent--um, this is gonna come as a _shock_ to you and the fellows, but this _"guy"_ is my, um--_brother_, Darren, pending a DNA test today at the hospital.

There was total _and_ complete stunned silence at Daria's remark, as the band looked at Daria and Darren, and then at each other.

DARREN: _(Breaks the ice, reaches out to shake Trent's hand:)_ Ah, hello, Trent. Daria's told me about you. _(Shakes a stunned Trent's hand, looks past him down at the band:)_ Hello, everyone. _(Everyone mouths a reluctant "hey")_

TRENT: _(Looks between the two, then down to Daria:) Whoa_. You two _do_ look kind of _alike_, now that I see the two of you side-by-side. But _Janey_ said while I took my mom and her to the airport--

DARIA: --Yeah, that my--_bro_ was dead, but as you can see, he's here. I can explain. _(Pauses, looks around uncomfortably:)_ Um, Trent, could you let us go down the steps and not let us just _stand_ here?

TRENT: _(Comes out of stun mode:) Huh_? Oh, yeah, sorry. _(Goes down the steps followed by Daria and Darren)_

Darren walked over and shook the hands of the band. Daria sat down and began to explain the story of how Darren came to her family, with Darren occasionally helping her out. Afterwards, Trent and the others were _speechless_.

MAX: _(Looks at Darren:) Geez_, man--you were given a _raw_ deal. _(The other band members nod their heads and agree)_

DARREN: _(Shrugs:)_ Yeah, well--my (adopted) parents were always there for me, so I can't complain. There's _nothing_ I can do about Turley now. _(Changes subject:)_ So, Daria said you guys are a _alternative_ rock band?

TRENT: _(Slight smile:)_ Yeah, man--an _underground_ alternative rock band. We'd like to think of ourselves as _"on the cutting edge"_.

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: Yeah, and if you guys "cut" any **closer**, you'll fall right **off** the edge. She then speaks:)_ Um, yeah. Say, why are you guys back a little _early_? Don't tell me that the rest of your tour was _cancelled_?

Trent and the other members of Mystik Spiral looked at each other a little uneasily, then Trent spoke.

TRENT: Well, Daria--we, uhh--

NICK: _(Jumps up:)_ --Aww, man, just _tell_ her--I _screwed_ it up!

JESSE: Hey, man--it was an _accident_. It wasn't your fault.

DARIA: _(Perplexed:) What_ wasn't Nick's fault? Trent, what happened?

Trent took a big sigh, _(followed by a cough:)_ then he explained.

TRENT: It happened about two days ago. We had just finished a gig in a town called _Reidsville_, about 250 miles from here, and we decided to camp out under the night sky. _(Looks over at a sad Nick:)_ Nick was driving the Tank, and he parked it near a _gorge_. We all got out to look around --

DARREN: _(Whispers to Daria:)_ The--_"Tank"_?--

DARIA: _(Whispers back:)_ --Their _van_.

NICK: _(Jumps in:)_ --And I _forgot_ to put on the damn parking brake! The Tank--the _Tank--(looks down, grows quiet, while Max pats him on the back)_

TRENT: --The Tank rolled _off_ into the gorge and _exploded_ when it hit the ground. _(Pauses:) Everything_ we had was in the Tank, our instruments, camping stuff, as well as the _money_ we made from the gigs that was in a strongbox. It was a _total_ loss. _(Becomes silent, looks down like the rest of the band)_

DARIA: _(Appalled look, Darren cocks an eyebrow at her reaction:)_ Trent, I--I'm _sorry. (Pauses:)_ Uh, did you have any _insurance_ at all? _(Darren quietly mouths a "Thank you, Daria" to himself)_

TRENT: _(Looks up at Daria:)_ Hey, insurance is part of the _authority_ system. No way are we gonna be part of _that_. I mean, the _man_ can keep an _eye_ on us, and _control_ us with his insurance _"numbers". (The band members nod their heads in agreement, while Daria and Darren look uneasily at each other)_

JESSE: Yeah, and it's _expensive_, too. _(Everyone stares at Jesse for a moment)_

TRENT: Anyway, like you said, Daria, we had to _cancel_ the rest of our tour, and had to _hitchike_ our way back to Lawndale. We got a ride on the back of an old pick-up truck, and didn't arrive until late last night. The guys stayed over with me and we were trying to figure out our next move when you two showed up. _(Pauses, sighs:)_ I don't know what we're gonna do now.

DARREN: Er, I guess you lost _(shrugs:) what_--

TRENT: --Not that it matters anymore, but probably about one to two _thousand_, I guess. _(Daria raises both her eyebrows)_

DARIA: _Whoa_--about _two thousand dollars_? _That_ much?

TRENT: _(Smiles sheepishly:)_ Yeah. We were really on a _roll_ there, Daria. When word got out at the concerts we were giving, people came out and we were actually doing _real_ well--

NICK: --Until I messed up _everything_! _(Suddenly gets up and tears up the stairs, distraught)_

MAX: _(Goes after Nick:)_ Hey, man, calm down! Stuff like this _happens_! We're _criminales_--we'll recover, man!

JESSE: _(Follows Max:)_ Yeah! _(Both go out of sight upstairs)_

Trent watched them go up and out of the cellar, then looked back sadly at Daria and Darren. Darren looked at both Daria and Trent, and started to leave.

DARREN: Uh, I'll be up in the living room, you two. Trent, I'm really sorry about what happened to you and your band. _(Pauses:)_ Maybe this is the _last_ thing you want to hear right now, but things _will_ get better. Believe me, I was feeling the _same_ way you were after my (adopted) parents died, but I knew I had to keep going _on_ with my life--and _you_ should, too. See you later. _(Leaves up the stairs, goes out, looks around, and shuts the door, but leaves a crack in it, just enough to stop and listen to Trent and Daria talk, out of sight)_

Trent and Daria watched Darren go up the stairs, then Trent looked back to Daria.

TRENT: Your brother's a _nice_ guy, Daria.

DARIA: Yeah, I guess he is at that. _(Pauses:)_ Don't you guys have any money saved up _other_ than what was on the Tank? You know, to get some more instruments?

TRENT: _(In a quiet tone:)_ Nope. You know how I _feel_ about _banks_, Daria--

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ --Part of the _"authority"_ scene, yeah, I know. _(Sighs:)_ I wish I could do _something_, Trent--

TRENT: --Nah, it's okay, Daria. I know if you could, you _would. (Chuckles:)_ You remember when we talked about me living my _dream_ on our way to _Alternapalooza? (Note to reader: You know this is from the episode "Road Worrier", of course) (Daria nods)_ Well, I can say I _did_ succeed on my dream---at least for a _little_ while, anyway.

DARIA: _(Searches for words:)_ Trent--I--don't give up, you said you were beginning to do pretty well--

TRENT: _(Frowns to himself:)_--And just as I was, it fell _apart_. Face it, Daria--it just wasn't _meant_ to be. Geez, what are Janey and my mom gonna _say_? _(Shakes head slowly, closes eyes in pain:)_ Could you just leave me _alone_? I--gotta lot to _think_ about. See ya, and thanks for watching the house while we were gone. _(Goes over to the cellar's old couch and lays down, away from Daria)_

Daria looked as if she was about to say something, but decided not to, and slowly went up the cellar's steps. (Darren left the door and went to the living room when he heard Daria come up the stairs) She stopped midway and looked back to Trent.

DARIA: Trent, if you need to talk, well, um, don't hesitate to call me, okay? _(Pauses:) Trent_? _(Hears him snoring, thought v.o.: Well, I guess some of us have our own ways to deal with trouble--with Trent it's sleep.) (Leaves cellar)_

Darren came into the living room to see Nick sitting on the couch being consoled by Jesse and Max, and feeling a little in the way, didn't say anything more, so he waited near the kitchen for Daria, who came up.

DARREN: _(To Daria, quietly:)_ Ah, maybe we should come back at a later date to see some of Jane's art--I don't think this is the _right_ time to do that, if you know what I mean.

DARIA: _(Quietly back to Darren, sounding a little distant:)_ Yeah, maybe you're right. _(Looks at Nick and the others, speaks:)_ Hey, guys, Darren and I are leaving, okay? Trent's down in the cellar, um--_thinking_.

JESSE: _(Attention off of Nick for a moment:)_ Huh? Oh, sure, Daria. Nice to meet you, Darren. We'll _wake up_ Trent a little later. _(Daria raises an eyebrow at Jesse)_

DARREN: Yeah, nice to meet you guys, too. _(Leaves with Daria)_

Daria and Darren left the house quietly. Both walked back without a word, then Darren broke the ice about halfway.

DARREN: _(Looks a little uneasily sideways at Daria, hesitates:)_ So--are you and Trent _"just"_ good friends, or--_(stops when Daria stops and looks at him with an unreadable look on her face, but Darren can guess it's something that borders a little on annoyance)_

DARIA: _(Sounding curt:)_ --We're just _friends_, Darren. It's not like Trent and I are _involved_, or something.

DARREN: _(Slightly taken aback:)_ Eh, I'm sorry, Daria. I didn't mean to--

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ --No, it's okay, and I'm sorry for _snapping_ at you. Trent and I really _are_ friends--_(pauses:) close_ friends. _(Resumes walking with Darren:)_ I--did have something of a _crush_ on him once, but it's kind of in _remission_ now. Jane occasionally still plays a _yenta_ once in awhile with us, but I don't fall _apart_ anymore when I'm around him now. _(Thought v.o., frowns to herself: Where in the hell did **that** come from? I **barely** know Darren, and here I am **opening** myself up to him? Damn it, I **am** getting **soft**!)_ Anyway, I've never seen him like _this_ before--it's as if he has _no_ hope left.

DARREN: _(Looks for words:)_ Well, who knows? Trent and Mystik Spiral could come _back_--

DARIA: _(Old deadpan back in full force, sounding bitter:)_ --Yeah, but only if they can catch the next _spaceship_ from _Alpha Centuri_ to get _back_ here.

DARREN: _(For once not laughing at one of Daria's barbs:)_ But _surely_ something _could_ happen--you _never_ know.

DARIA: _(Mumbles, still bitter:)_ Yeah, only in _fairy_ tales. Damn it, it's not fair what happened to Trent and the guys. _(Darren gives a quick, thoughtful look at Daria)_

Neither said a word on the rest of the way back home. Both came into the house and while Daria went in the kitchen, Darren went upstairs to his room. As he was reaching the door to his room, Quinn came out of the bathroom in the hallway in a housecoat.

QUINN: Hey, you guys are back so soon?

DARREN: Yes, Quinn--Daria didn't have to check out the Lane's home anymore because Trent and Mystik Spiral are back-- _(pauses, then adds:)_ just not under the _best_ of circumstances, I'm afraid.

QUINN: _(Cocked eyebrow:)_ Huh? What do you mean?

DARREN: _(Shrugs:)_ Maybe you should talk to _Daria_ about what happened. When do you want to be ready to go to eat lunch?

QUINN: _(Looks up:)_ Hmmm--_11:00_? We can have _brunch_!

DARREN: All right--brunch it is. See you then. _(Goes into his room)_

QUINN: Okay. _(Goes downstairs to the kitchen)_

Darren went to his cell phone and began to dial.

DARREN: Hello? _Northolt Bank_? This is Darren Appleton--let me speak to _Mr. Schnider_, the bank president, please. _(Pauses:)_ Thank you.

_(Scene fast forwards to the Pizza King, about 11:15 a.m.)_

Daria, Quinn, and Darren sat in a booth eating their pizzas, with Quinn sitting on one side with Darren, who was on the outside part of the booth, and Daria sitting on the other side. True to form, Quinn ordered a small cheeseless pizza, with a diet soda on the side. Darren and Daria, on the other hand, ordered a large pepperoni, sausage, and cheese pizza, with a pitcher of regular soda. Darren had offered to treat, and both Morgendorffer girls took him up on his offer.

QUINN: _(Looks around the restaurant:)_ Gee, we're the _only_ people in here right now, aren't we?

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Trying to _show off_ our brotherly _"trophy"_, Quinn? _(Darren gives a quiet smile at this)_

QUINN: _(Glares at Daria:) Ha_, Daria. I'm just wondering where everybody is, that's _all_.

DARIA: I think it's _obvious_ that Lawndale's non-student population is working mostly, and the student population got the _hell_ away from here as far as they could go for vacation--and for _me_, that's _my_ vacation. _(Bites into a pizza slice)_

DARREN: Say, where were you all going on vacation?

DARIA: Before you came, we were going to the beach, but now that you're here, we're going to take the vacation in good 'ol Lawndale, and have an old-fashioned family reunion with _you_ as the guest--_(hesitates for an instant:) bro. (Darren gives a small smile to Daria, who quickly looks down and away)_

Though he could not tell conclusively, to Darren it seemed that Daria was feeling _uncomfortable_ over using the _"bro"_ remark. He decided to say nothing else, not wanting to put her on the spot. His middle--_sister_ obviously was not much for showing _emotion_, which confirmed his thoughts about Daria while jogging this morning. He continued the talk about the vacation.

DARREN: _(Raises an eyebrow:)_ I hope I didn't _ruin_ your vacation plans because of that.

QUINN: Nuh-uh--mom and dad still have another week of vacation after this one. Besides, we can go to the beach _anytime. (Daria looks at Quinn, surprised) What_?

DARIA: _You_ not wanting to go to the beach is like an _ant_ not wanting to go to a _picnic_. As a matter of of fact, I'm wondering why you didn't _object_ to not going right away.

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes:) Daaaaaria_! We have a _brother_! A _handsome_ brother! _(Darren blushes slightly, looking uncomfortable at Quinn's remark)_ Can't we spend a _little_ time with him without going anywhere? I'm _surprised_ that _you'd_ wanna go anywhere! _(Slides over and hooks her arm under Darren's, smirks, while Daria rolls her eyes)_

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ What a _moving_ scene. It's making _me_ want to move, too--to the _restroom_, that is. _(Slides out of the booth:)_ I'll be back.

QUINN: _(Smirks, remembers the other night at the mall with Jodie and Mack:)_ Don't _fall in_, sis.

DARIA: _(While walking off:)_ Only if you fall in _with_ me, _"cuz". (Quinn sticks her tounge out at Daria, while Darren quietly chuckles)_

DARREN: _(Looks at Quinn for a moment, hesitates, but asks:)_ That _reminds_ me--I meant to ask you about something, Quinn--what is this I've heard about Daria being your _"cousin"_? _(Quinn becomes wide-eyed)_

QUINN: _(Frowns, becomes alarmed:)_ Where did you hear _that_? Did _Daria_ tell you? 'Cause if she _did_--

DARREN: --Actually, _you_ did, Quinn. Remember when Daria came up while you were talking to me at the mall, and you claimed she was your _"cousin"_? Daria told me _her_ side of the story--what's _your_ side?

QUINN: _(Becomes sheepish:) Oh. (Searches for words, looks away:)_ Well, uh--you see, um--

About the same time, _Joey, Jeffrey,_ and _Jamie_ came into the Pizza King, and of course they saw Quinn with a _really_ handsome guy, arm-in-arm. One doesn't have to guess what happened next, for all three boys _swaggered_ up to the table, intent on doing some _harm_ to this stranger who _dared_ to infringe upon _their_ Quinn.

JOEY: _(Frowns:)_ Hey, Quinn--

JEFFREY: _(Frowns:)_ --This guy--

JAMIE: _(Frowns:)_ --Is _bothering_ you, right? _(Reaches for a surprised Darren along with the others)_

DARREN: Hey, what--

QUINN: _(Wide-eyed:) --Wait_, you guys, he's my--

Daria washed and wiped her hands and looked in the mirror. She thought about Quinn and shook her head slowly. It was obvious the little _minx_ was trying to _cozy_ up to her--_their_--"Big Bro" and turn on the _charm_. Would Darren _fall_ for it, or would he _stand up_ to her? Daria smirked. As much as she _hated_ to admit it, Quinn was good at getting her way with a _lot_ of people. Daria shrugged at the thought and left the restroom, when she heard a _commotion_ in the restaurant area. It sounded like--shouts of _pain_?

Daria rushed into the room and promptly saw Darren standing _over_ the heap that was Joey, Jeffrey, and Jamie, with Quinn frowning down at the three, hands on her hips. The manager, a thin, small, boney old man, came from behind the counter, angry.

MANAGER: _(Looks down at the three J's:)_ What-in-the-hell-is-_WRONG_ with you crazy kids?! _Why_ did you _attack_ this fellow?! Get out of here, right now!

QUINN: _(Glares down at the three:)_ I _tried_ to tell you guys that he's my _brother_!

All three J's looked up at Quinn and Darren, stunned.

JOEY: _(Dazed, in pain:) He's_--

JEFFREY: _(Dazed, in pain:) --Your--_

JAMIE: _(Dazed, in pain:) --Brother_?

QUINN: Yeah, damn it--and you could have _hurt_ him! _(Daria, comes up to the sight, looks at Quinn with a cocked eyebrow of disbelief)_

DARREN: You know these three, Quinn?

QUINN: _(Shrugs:)_ Yeah, they're Joey, Jeffrey, and _Jean_--

JAMIE: _(Still dazed, but coherent:)_ --That's _Jamie_!

QUINN: _Whatever_. Anyway, bro, they're my _admirers_--

DARIA: --Or _boot-lickers, lap-dogs, manservants_, take your _pick_--

QUINN: _(Giggles:)_--and they thought you were trying to _harm_ me, or something.

DARREN: Ah, now I see. _(Bends down to give the three J's a hand:)_ Sorry about that guys. Let me help--

JOEY: _(Suddenly jumps up with Jeffrey and Jamie, nervous:) --No, no_! That's _okay_, right, guys?

JEFFREY: _(Also nervous:)_ Y-yeah! We're _fine_!

JAMIE: _(Yep, ditto:)_ T-that's _right_! W-well, Quinn, since you're in _good_ hands, we'll just go! _(Turns around with the others, runs to the doorway, and all three get stuck at the same time in it, trying to get out, and then Jamie breaks out first, followed closely behind by Joey and Jeffrey)_

QUINN: _(Perplexed:) God_, what's with _them_?

MANAGER: _(Smirks:)_ They got their _tails_ kicked, that's what! _(Smug look:)_ That and the fact that I _told_ them to get out--

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ --Oh, _yeah_, of course. One look at _you_, and they were _shaking_ in their boots. _(Pause, smirks:)_ Manager _and_ bouncer--what a combination of _intimidation_ you are, sir. My _hat's_ off to you. _(Manager glares at Daria)_

DARREN: Sir, I'm _sorry_ for any damage that I might have caused, and I'll pay--

MANAGER: _(Waves his hand:)_ --Nah, there's no damage as you can see--save for what happened to those punk's _egos_. Just go back to eating your food, okay? _(Walks back behind the counter)_

Darren and the Morgendorffer sisters sat back down in the booth.

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ So, our bro is a _Bruce Lee_, too. Does this mean you're gonna get angry and take some sort of brutal _revenge_ against any _evil warlords_ that kill your _family_ and friends, then go up in the _mountains_ and _contemplate_ your actions?

Darren looked down at his pizza uneasily, then spoke.

DARREN: _(In a quiet tone:)_ You'd be surprised how many guys think you're _after_ their girlfriends, and want to _fight_ you, so my (adopted) parents got me into it. _(Thought v.o.: That and the fact that you're a "rich" guy, and your parents wanted you to be able to defend yourself in case someone tried to kidnap you one day)_ I don't like to use those moves--only in _absolute_ self-defense. Quinn's friends caught me _off-guard_ a bit.

DARIA: _(Taken aback slightly, then remembers her "crack" about Darren's family, thought v.o: Damn--nice use of **words**, Morgendorffer:)_ Hey, um, I didn't mean to--

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ --It's okay, Daria. _(Looks at Quinn:)_ I just hope I didn't _scare_ your "admirers" off in such a way they won't want to come back.

QUINN: _(Waves her hand, dismissing **that** thought:)_ Nah, they'll come _back_--they _always_ do. _(Resumes eating her cheeseless pizza, while Daria shakes her head slowly)_

DARIA: What were some of those moves, anyway?

DARREN: Moves called _aikido_, and _tai chi chuan_, which are considered to be the _gentlest_ forms of the martial arts. I also know a little _karate_, and _judo_, along with some _tae kwon do. (Quinn looks at Darren with a look of admiration)_

DARIA: _(Eating more pizza:)_ You're a _school_ of martial arts all by _yourself_.

DARREN: _(Shrugs:)_ I suppose. _(Pauses:)_ Say, maybe I can _teach_ my--_sisters (Daria cocks an eyebrow at Darren's use of the "sister" word, while Quinn is oblivious)_ how to defend themselves. Are you two game?

QUINN: _(Eyes light up, then relents:)_ Uh, that's okay. It's too hot an' sweaty to workout like that, plus it's not too _fashionable_. Besides, _why_ do that when you can get a _guy_ to do it _for_ you?

DARIA: _(While eating her pizza, sarcastic:)_ Yeah--why not allow the _guy_ do all the work of putting his _neck_ out for you while you stand on the _side_ admiring your _exclusive new designer shoes and dress? (Darren smirks at this)_

QUINN: _Exactly_, Daria! Why get icky _blood_ on yourself if you don't _have_ to?

DARREN: Does this mean that _you're_ interested, Daria?

DARIA: _(Smirks:) Hell_ no. I don't think anyone would come after _me_--

QUINN: _(Smug tone:)_ --'Cause _who'd_ wanna come after a _"brain"_ who dresses as a _loser_, with no make-up? I don't think _you'd_ have to worry about anything, sis, unless they're _desperate_, or something. _(Finishes her pizza while Daria frowns at her, and Darren looks disappointedly at Quinn)_

Darren was about to say something to Quinn when Mack and Jodie walked into the restaurant, saw Daria, Quinn, and Darren, and came to them at the booth.

JODIE: Hi, again, guys--_(notices Darren, stares:)_ uh, hello--? 

QUINN: _(Before Daria can say something:)_ This is our _brother_, Darren! Darren, this is _Jodie Landon_ and _Michael Jordan MacKenzie_, better known as _"Mack"_.

DARREN: Hi, Jodie, Mack. _(Reaches over and shakes their hands)_

After shaking Darren's hand, Jodie and Mack looked at each other, stunned.

JODIE: Um--hi, Darren--did you just say he was your _"brother"_?

DARIA: Yep, that's what _blabbermouth_ said, at least after a DNA test at the hospital this afternoon. Sit down and we'll tell you the details. _(Jodie and Mack slide in beside Daria, and the now-familiar story is told again)_

About 15 minutes later, Jodie was _crying_ on Mack's shoulder, while Mack had a deep _frown_ on his face.

MACK: I don't normally wish anything _bad_ to happen to anybody--not even to _Kevin_ or _Brittany_--but if anyone _deserved_ something bad to happen to them, it was this "Turley" _jerk. (Shakes his head in disbelief:)_ I mean, how could anybody do something like _that_?

DARIA: Money can do a _lot_ of things to those who _let_ it, Mack. _(Darren cocks an eyebrow at Daria over this)_ This Turley guy was a first-class _jerkwad. (Pauses:)_ At least our bro is alive and kicking, and that's _something_ to build on, I suppose. _(All smile at Daria, even Quinn)_

DARREN: _(Smiles, cocks a coy eyebrow:)_ So, are you two something of an _"item"_?

JODIE: _(Steals a quick glance at Mack, smiles, and vice-versa:)_ I guess you can _say_ that. Most everyone is out of town, and Mack and I are--uh, just _enjoying_ our time together with no _"interruptions"_ from Kevin or Brittany.

DARREN: _(Perplexed:)_ There's that _"Kevin and Brittany"_ thing again. _Who_ are they? _(Everyone save Quinn looks at each other uneasily as if to say, "You want to tell him, or should I?")_

As if on cue, Kevin and Brittany walked into the Pizza King restaurant with their arms around each other's waists, kissing one another. Mack's eyes grew as big as _saucers_, while Jodie held her head, shaking it slowly. Daria smirked, while Quinn simply looked at the two. Darren watched everyone's reaction with an _amused_ look on his face. As Kevin and Brittany approached the table, Darren leaned over to Jodie and Mack and spoke in a low voice.

DARREN: _(Smirks:)_ Something tells me that you two don't exactly _jibe_ with those two.

DARIA: What was your _first_ clue, bro?

KEVIN: _(With that idiotic grin on his face:)_ Yo, _"Mack Daddy"_, Jodie, Daria, Quinn, and, uhhh---_"Unknown Guy"_! What's up?

MACK: _(Frowns:)_ Kevin, we've gone over this a _trillion_ times--_don't_ call me _"Mack Daddy"_! Why in the _hell_ are you guys back so _soon_ from that football/cheerleading camp?

KEVIN: _(Shrugs:)_ Hey, bro--I said we'd be back _Friday_, and here we are!

MACK: No, you'd said you two would be back Friday of _next_ week!

KEVIN: I _did_? _(Looks up for some of answer from the heavens:) Uhhhh_--gosh, you mean this _isn't_ next week, dude? _(Darren looks at this fellow shocked)_

DARREN: _(Leans over to Daria, speaking low:)_ Is this guy _serious_? And why is he carrying a _football_ and wearing that football _uniform_, and she that _cheerleader_ uniform? Did they _just_ come back from this "football/cheerleading" camp or something?

DARIA: _(Speaks to Darren in the same tone:)_ Darren, the only thing Kevin is ever _serious_ about is _football_, making out with _Brittany_, including some _other_ girls, and _booze_. Everything else goes out the _window_. As for his and Brittany's _uniforms_, they wear them _everyday_ at school, Kevin with his _shoulder pads_ and all. _(Darren is stunned)_ That's right, everyday, bro--it's _no_ joke. This is part of the _lunacy_ I have to put up with at school during the year.

BRITTANY: _(Notices Darren for the first time, gasps, gets a dreamy look on her face while looking down at him:) Hi_. Who're _you_?

QUINN: _(Before Darren can say something:)_ This is our _brother_, Darren! Darren, this is _Kevin Thompson_ and _Brittany Taylor_!

DARREN: Hi, you two.

KEVIN: _(Stunned with Brittany:) Whoa_! How come we've never seen you around _before_, Darren?

DARIA: _(In "as a-matter-of-fact" tone:)_ Oh, he's _always_ been around, Kevin--he's just has the power to turn _invisible_ while he's out in _public_. We decided to allow him to make his first appearance _today. (Darren, Jodie, and Mack try not to laugh at this, and even Quinn smirks)_

KEVIN: _(Completely over his head:)_ Wow! Cool! Hey, dude, make yourself _invisible_! _(Darren looks at Daria, then at Kevin, mouth agape)_ C'mon, lemme see!

BRITTANY: _(Suddenly slides in beside a flinching Darren, still looking at him dreamily, sounding in a low, husky, voice:)_ That's okay, Kevie--he doesn't have to turn invisible _yet. I'm_ enjoying the view just _fine. (Sighs while Kevin seems oblivious to Brittany coming on to Darren)_

DARREN: _(Leans away from Brittany, uncomfortable, almost leaning back on Quinn:)_ Ah--well, no, Kevin's _right. (Everyone other than Kevin and Brittany look at Darren in surprise)_ Let me, er--_(reluctantly puts his hands on a giggling Brittany's shoulders and gently pushes her out of the booth, getting out as well:)_ just get out of the booth here. Daria, Quinn, I'm going to ah, _need_ your assistance, please. _(Daria, Jodie, and Mack guess what Darren's going to do, while Quinn looks at Darren inquisitively while getting out of the booth with him and Daria)_

BRITTANY: _(Still looks at Darren dreamily, while Kevin gives his customary blank-smiling look:)_ What do you want us to do, Darren?

DARREN: Ah--yes, _do. (Searches for words:)_ I know! You and Kevin _shut_ your eyes, please, and sit down in the booth. _(Both Kevin and Brittany do so after sitting down)_ Now, count to a _hundred_ and then open them. You see, it takes an extraordinary amount of--_energy_ to really build up my um--_"invisicells"_, and I need those people who are around me to _concentrate. (Daria smirks while Quinn, Mack, and Jodie try not to laugh)_ Now start counting. _(Motions to Daria and Quinn, while Jodie mouths to Darren, "We're coming out with you" while quietly slipping out of the booth with Mack)_ Don't peek, now. _(They slip out of the Pizza King while Kevin and Brittany start counting)_

KEVIN: Um, _1-2-3-4-5--_ what's _next_, babe?

BRITTANY: _6_, Kevie!

KEVIN: Oh yeah, _6_! Um, _1-2-3-4-5-6... (the Pizza King manager, who had witnessed the entire incident, rolls his eyes and goes back to work)_

Daria, Darren, and Quinn came out of the Pizza King with Mack and Jodie.

DARREN: _(Shakes his head slowly, chuckles:)_ That _has_ to be the _slowest_ guy and girl I've ever met! _My God_! Are they really _that_ bad?

JODIE: _(Laughs:)_ You don't know the _half_ of it--

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ --Or even the _sixteenth_ of it. _(Looks at watch:)_ Hey, we'd better get going to the hospital--mom and dad will be there waiting for us.

DARREN: _(Shakes Jodie and Mack's hands:)_ Goodbye, and it was nice meeting you two.

QUINN: Yeah, bye! _(Pulls Darren with her to his car)_

MACK: Likewise--we'll see you guys later--I hope everything turns out ok for you guys.

JODIE: Yeah, good luck. _(Leaves with Mack)_

Darren, Daria, and Quinn got into the car and began the drive to the _Cedars of Lawndale_ Hospital. When they got there, Jake and Helen were waiting for them, and the tests were conducted by a Doctor _Larry Mull_, a genealogist. The doctor took blood and hair samples from Helen, Jake, and Darren for the test, which took about two hours. For a moment, Darren was privately _apprehensive_ because he thought Doctor Mull would ask for some sort of _identification_ from him, but the doctor simply took the samples and informed them that the _raw_ preliminary results could be available later that _night (at Helen's insistence)_, since the lab had had a very light week of little to no other DNA testing that would take the time from the Morgendorffer's tests. The doctor also told them that the raw results would be sent via special courier, and that the _overall_ written report would be sent in about two weeks. It was the _raw_ results, however, that had garnered everyone's interest. Doctor Mull pointed out that there was a _99%_ chance of the raw results of the DNA test comfirming the rest of the _overall_ test. Simply put, if the raw results showed that Darren was indeed the _son_ of Helen and Jake Morgendorffer, then the overall results would only be a mere _formality_, explaining only the entire written report, while comfirming Darren as Helen and Jake Morgendorffer's son.

The testing finally over, Darren and the Morgendorffers went back home to await word of the results.

_(The scene is back at the Pizza King, about the same time)_

KEVIN: _(Still with his eyes shut, sitting in the booth with Brittany:)_ let's see--um--_95_--no wait, _96-97-98-99_--uh, _100_! _(Opens eyes with Brittany, completely stunned:)_ Hey, you _are_ invisible!

BRITTANY: Yeah, Kevie--and he made _Daria, Quinn_, and even _Mack and Jodie_ invisible, too!

KEVIN: _(Shouts:)_ Hey, _where_ are you guys?! _(Other customers who had come in just look at them funny)_ Yo, _"Mack Daddy"_? _(Gets out of booth with Brittany:)_ Tell me if I _bump_ into you! _(Starts to "feel" the air around him while he and Brittany leave the Pizza King with everyone there staring at them even more strangely)_ Daria? Quinn?

BRITTANY: _(Angry, frowns:) Ooooh_--you'd better not _"bump"_ into _Quinn--(pauses:)_ or _Daria_ either!

KEVIN: _(Rolls his eyes:)_ Awww, babe! You know I only have eyes for _you_!

BRITTANY: _(Now delighted:)_ Oh, Kevie! _(Kisses him)_

Inside the Pizza King, one of the observers was _Andrea_, who was sitting at a table eating pizza, and rolled her eyes.

ANDREA: Those two are _piiiiitiful. (Resumes eating her pizza)_

_(The scene changes to Casa de Lane, about the same time)_

Trent was lying on the couch in the living room, staring at the ceiling, and not sleeping for a change. He had seen the rest of Mystik Spiral off, and had tried for a final time to convince Nick that the Tank's destruction was an accident. An _expensive_ accident, but an accident nevertheless. The band still was at a crossroads, with everyone deciding to talk some more about it tomorrow. Zachary and Taylor crawled on his chest, with Trent petting both of them. He thought about what his mother and Janey would say when they heard the news. When Janey would hear about what happened, she'd probably make a _joke_ to try and cheer him up, as if that would _magically_ make everything all right. As for his _mother_, she'd make that damn statement about _"Holding the butterfly"_ and such. He chuckled to himself softly when he thought about that, and snuggled deeper in the couch.

TRENT: _(Thought v.o.: Hey, this is really peaceful. Janey was right when she said that Daria relaxes and thinks this way.)_

As Trent watched the ceiling trying to figure out what to do, there was a knock on the front door. He was so depressed, he thought about _not_ answering it. But as the knocking continued, he forced himself in the upright position and got up.

TRENT: _(To himself, mostly:)_ Okay, okay, I'm _coming_! No need to beat the door down!

Trent opened the door, and a man in a mustache dressed in a white courier's uniform holding a gold-colored envelope and a pad and pen was staring at him.

COURIER: _(In a no-nonsense tone:)_ Are you a Mr. Trent Lane?

TRENT: Yeah, I am.

COURIER: _(Gives pen and pad:)_ Sign here, please. _(Trent does)_ Thank you. _(Gives Trent the envelope, and then holds out his hand for a little tip:) Ahem--_

TRENT: _(Looks down at the envelope, then back up at the courier, notices his hand out, reaches over and shakes the courier's hand:)_ Hey, _thanks_, man. _(Goes back into home, shuts door, while the courier looks down at his hand and frowns at the door, then leaves)_

Trent opened the envelope and read the letter:

Dear Mr. Lane:   
It has come to my attention that you and your band, a **"Mystik Spiral"**, have had a rather unfortunate turn of events recently, resulting in the loss of everything that you hold dear concerning your music. I am an admirer of your music, having followed your group from afar off, and upon hearing of what happened to you, wish to help you **financially** get back on your feet. Enclosed is a cashier's check for **$8,000.00** that you can cash **immediately** at the Northolt Bank. I have heard also through the music grapevine that you have a certain amount of **disdain** for banks and insurance. If you wish to **repay** me sir, then I encourage you **strongly** to get both for your band's own good--after all, the insurance and banks are designed for your own use, and not the other way around. Enclosed with the check is a list of very affordable insurance agencies and banks with high CD returns. The money is provided to aid your band in purchasing new instruments, as well as a good used vehicle to enable you to continue to travel to your gigs. Follow your dreams, Mr. Lane--and **never** let them go. One more thing I ask, sir: please do **not** attempt to find out who I am--I prefer to remain **anonymous**. Good luck. 

-Sincerely, 

Your "Benefactor" 

Trent sat down slowly on the couch, stunned--he then read the letter and looked at the amount on the check once again to make sure this was indeed real and not some dream, then he _leaped_ off the couch, and _screamed_ out of joy.

_(Scene changes to the Morgendorffer residence, about an hour later)_

Darren was helping Helen with preparing yet _another_ lasagna dinner while Daria was up in her room reading and Quinn was getting ready for a rescheduled date with the fellow named Larry. Instead of reading the paper, Jake was practicing his golf swing in the living room for his golf outing with Darren tomorrow. The cell phone on the living room table began to ring.

HELEN: Jake, would you get the phone, please? I'm trying to get dinner ready, and I _know_ the firm _won't_ call me this week--_(pauses:)_ unless it's _really_ important.

JAKE: _(Gives a "puppy dog" look:)_ Aw, Helen--I'm trying to practice for tomorrow! I'm getting in the _swing_!

HELEN: _(Begins to frown:) JAKE, I'M GOING TO START "SWINGING" IF YOU_--

DARREN: _(Smoothly cuts in:)_ It's okay, Helen--I'll get it. _(Picks up the phone and turns it on:)_ Hello, Morgendorffer residence.

VOICE: Hello. _(Pauses:)_ Who's _this_?

DARREN: _(Smirks:)_ Uh--no offense, but I think since _you're_ the one calling, you'd know _who_ you'd want to speak to.

VOICE: _(Slight chuckling sound:)_ Hmm--good point. This is _Jane Lane_--is Daria there?

DARREN: _(Eyebrow raised:) The_ Jane Lane, as in _Daria's_ friend, Jane?

JANE: _Hah_! I told you who I _am_, who I _want_, and yet you ask _anyway_? Since you're the one _asking_, you'd know who I'd want to be _speaking_ to since I told you _already_, buster, so _there_.

DARREN: _(Grins:)_ Hmm--now _you've_ got a good point. _(Laughs:)_ She's here, Jane, I'll go get her for you. _(Starts to walk upstairs)_

JANE: And _who_ might you be, stranger?

DARREN: I'm--_Darren_, Daria and Quinn's soon-to-be-official, ah, _brother_.

JANE: _(Pauses:) Oh_--the _"Big Bro"_. Well, now, how are you enjoying staying at the Morgendorffer _looney_ bin, Darren?

DARREN: It's--_interesting_. I'm getting used to the goings on in this place, so it's okay so far.

JANE: Don't worry--it'll get _out_ of control soon--you'll see.

DARREN: _(Laughs:)_ Actually, it has already--_several_ times. I'll tell you when I meet you. _(Reaches Daria's door, begins to knock)_ Hang on, and Daria will be here in a moment--_(raises voice to door:)_ Daria! It's Jane on the phone!

JANE: No problemo--nice talking to you, Darren.

DARREN: You too, Jane.

Daria opened the door.

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ And what do we have here? _Phone delivery service_? I'm afraid I don't have a _tip_ for you, but _Quinn_ might. Simply look between her _matresses_ for the money to--

QUINN: _(From her room:)_ I _heard_ that, Daria! _(Pauses, then adds as an afterthought:)_ Besides, I've _moved_ it already!

DARIA: _(Shouts down the hall at Quinn's room:)_ Yeah, I _know_--you put it in one of your designer _shoeboxes_ under the chair in the den. I _saw_ you put it there after we got back from the hospital!

QUINN: _(Peeks out of her room, angry:)_ You'd better _not_ touch, it, sis!

DARREN: _(Smiles, chuckles:)_ Take the phone, Daria, before I have another _giggling_ fit. _(Daria does)_ Thank you. Dinner will be served in ten minutes. _(Leaves)_

DARIA: _(Shouts after Darren:)_ Thank you, _"Jeeves"_! _(Goes in her room and shuts the door)_

Darren was about to walk downstairs when Quinn come out of her room. She was wearing a chartreuse-colored dress and matching strapless shoes, with just a touch of make-up. Darren stopped and looked at her, nodding his approval. Quinn saw his reaction, and Quinn being Quinn, promptly spun around and showed off, smiling.

QUINN: _(Giggles:)_ What do you think, bro? Am I _hot_ or what?

DARREN: I have to admit Quinn--you look very attractive. Larry's a lucky guy.

QUINN: _(Eats it up:)_ Thanks! _(Pauses:)_ Hey, maybe sometime next week, or whenever, you and me can _double-date_! What do you say, Darren? I can _fix_ you up with somebody!

DARREN: _(Looks uneasy:)_ Uh--maybe I'll take a _raincheck_ on that, Quinn--

QUINN: _(Cocked eyebrow:)_ Huh? Why?

DARREN: _(Searches for words:)_ Well--it's--just--

Daria came out of her room holding the phone's speaking end, and not looking too pleased.

DARIA: _(Frowns:)_ Quinn, your _damn_ date Larry just _interrupted_ Jane and me talking to each other. _(Smirks now:)_ He just wanted me to tell you he _won't_ be able to take you out because he heard that our bro here is of the _ass-kicking_ variety. _(Darren raises his eyes in surprise)_ He's _scared_ to come here, so I guess it's _"lasagna a-la-mode"_ for you, sis! Ta-ta! Gotta go finish talking to Jane, now. _(Goes back into her room while Quinn is fuming)_

Darren looked _sheepishly_ over at Quinn.

DARREN: _(After a pause:)_ Ah, Quinn, I'm _really_ uh, _sorry_--

QUINN: _(Sighs, looks down:)_ It's not your fault, bro--_(frowns, looks off in space:)_ but I _do_ know 'ol _"Larry-boy's"_ not gonna get _another_ chance with me! You can put that in the--um, _(looks up:)_ what do they call it, Darren?

DARREN: I believe the word you're looking for is _"bank"_, Quinn.

QUINN: Yeah! _"Bank"_, or whatever.

DARREN: Cheer up, Quinn--say, maybe we can get some more info off the Internet concerning the Fashion Institute after dinner and see what they have in their curriculum. You up to it?

QUINN: _(Shrugs, sounding a little down:)_ Why not? My evening's _shot_, anyway. Lemme change for dinner, and I'll see you down there in a few, okay?

DARREN: Okay. _(Turns to go downstairs, but stops and turns to Quinn, in a quiet tone:)_ Quinn?

QUINN: _(About to go in her room:)_ Huh?

DARREN: _(Smirks:)_ He wasn't _worth_ it.

QUINN: _(Smiles:)_ Yeah, I know--thanks, bro.

DARREN: Don't mention it--_(ponders:)_ eh--

QUINN: What?

DARREN: With so much happening today, we never got around to talking about _why_ you call Daria your _"cousin"_, and--

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes:) --Daaarren_! We can talk about that _later_, okay? Right now, I just wanna eat something. _(Quickly slips into her room)_

Darren stared at Quinn's door sadly for a moment more, and then went downstairs.

The dinner started several minutes later when Daria came down and sat at the table.

HELEN: _(Starting the conversation:)_ Daria, how's Jane?

DARIA: _(While eating:)_ She's fine.

HELEN: Just _"fine"_, sweetie?

DARIA: Yes. _(Keeps chewing)_

HELEN: _(Sounding a bit exasperated because she can't get much conversation out of Daria:)_ Well, how is _Amanda_?

DARIA: She's fine, too. _(Chews on, while Darren is watching the exchange, amused)_

HELEN: Do you know when they'll be coming home, sweetie?

DARIA: _(Sighs--she decides to humor her mom to get Helen off her back:)_ Oh, yeah--Jane says they're gonna cut their vacation short and come home the end of next week--right after our families meet Darren. It seems that Mrs. Lane wants to go to a _seminar_ about pottery in nearby Connerville, something that kind of "slipped" her mind. _(Pauses:)_ I guess the _"Great Bonding Experiment"_ is over now, and Jane and I can now get back to our _world takeover plot. (Darren chuckles at this)_

HELEN: Did you tell her about _Trent_, sweetie?

DARIA: Yeah, just as soon as she got off the phone with me, she was--_(pauses:)_ hey, how'd you know about _that_?

QUINN: _I_ told her--so what's the big deal, Daria?

DARIA: _(Glares a second at Quinn:)_ Oh, I guess you get some sort of _sick kick_ out of seeing _unpopular_ or _unfashionable_ people have _difficulty_, that's all, and you can't _wait_ to tell someone. _(Keeps eating)_

HELEN: _(Surprised at Daria's tone of voice:)_ Daria!

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Oh, _pluh--eeease_, Daria! I've got _enough_ things on my mind without worrying about Jane's _brother_--

DARIA: --Like the right _mascara_ to be used with a certain _dress_, you know, _that_ sort of thing.

HELEN: _(Looks over at Quinn:)_ --Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry about what happened with your date, _(brightens up her tone:)_ but at least you're here with _us_! _(Daria smirks)_

QUINN: _(Smacks her mouth, disgusted:) Whoopee_, Mom. _(Picks at her food)_

JAKE: _(Looks at Darren, grins:)_ Ya ready for tomorrow, Big Guy?

DARREN: _(While eating, in a distant tone:)_ I suppose. _(Looks off in space)_

HELEN: _(Concerned:)_ Is something _wrong_, son?

DARREN: _(After a moment:)_ Well, yes--what you just called me--_son. (Pauses while Helen and Jake, and Daria and Quinn look at each other, curiously:)_ That and the fact that I have some fresh _new_ doubts. This may sound crazy, but what if by some chance the test results come back _negative_? What will happen _then_?

HELEN: _(Looks at Jake, and catches Daria and Quinn looking at Darren and her, sounding determined:) No_, Darren, _don't_ go there. There's _no_ doubt in mine or Jake's mind that you're our _son_, and Daria and Quinn's _brother_. When I first laid my eyes on _you_, I _knew_ you were our son.

JAKE: _(Jumps in:)_ Yeah! No doubt about it, son--you have your 'ol dad's _looks_! _(Helen rolls her eyes, and Daria smirks)_

QUINN: I agree with Daddy--you're _handsome_ and I'm _beautiful_, so we _gotta_ be related--

DARIA: _(Looks at Quinn:)_ --And I guess I'm just an _aberration_ in the family tree, right, Quinn? _(Darren smirks)_

QUINN: _(Smirks herself:)_ Or _something_.

HELEN: _(Curt:)_ Quinn! Darren, what I'm trying to say is, there's _no_ doubt those tests will come back _positive_--

DARIA: --And if they _don't_, you can then say, _"I lucked out!"_, so you can't lose _either_ way. _(Darren laughs, while everyone else glares at Daria)_

The doorbell rang at that moment, and Jake practically jumped up to answer it, with Helen right behind him. Daria, Quinn, and Darren looked at each other for a moment, then got up and followed them.

JAKE: _(Excited:)_ It's the test results, Helen! I can't wait to see--_(opens door, sees who it is, becomes disappointed with Helen:)_ Oh, it's _you_, er, _Trent_, right?

TRENT: _(Who himself looks excited, ignores Jake's question:)_ Uh, hey, Mr. and Mrs. Morgendorffer. Is Daria here?

DARIA: _(Comes out from behind her parents:)_ Trent? What are you doing here?

TRENT: _(Comes in, smiles:)_ Hey, Daria--I've been talking to the guys in Mystik Spiral. We're _back_ in business.

DARIA: _(Miffed:)_ Huh? But I thought you guys lost _everything_ on your _"tour"_.

TRENT: _(Produces the letter:)_ Well, we did, but uh--here, read this. _(Daria takes letter and reads it while Trent talks)_ Man, this is incredible! A _miracle_! _(Sees Darren, who along with Quinn comes up:)_ Hey, Darren--you were _right_, man.

DARREN: _(Feigns surprise:)_ Right about what, Trent? What's in that letter? _(Daria gives Darren the letter to read, with Quinn, Helen, and Jake looking over Darren's back)_

DARIA: _(Sounding suspicious:)_ Trent, um, I don't want to throw _cold water_ on your celebration over your good fortune, but _who_ is this guy--or _girl_, for that matter? _Why_ did he or she give you guys _$8,000_? Yeah, he or she says they're an _"admirer"_ of Mystic Spiral's music, but what do they _gain_ from helping you guys out?

DARREN: _(Comes up beside Daria after giving the letter to Quinn and her parents:)_ Well, Daria, the letter said that this _"benefactor"_ wants Trent and his band to follow their _"dreams"_. I can see why you'd think something wasn't _quite_ right with this, but I far as I can tell, it seems on the up-and-up. _(Looks at Trent:)_ Eh--is it true you guys _don't_ like _banks_ as well as insurance, and if so, will you _get_ any now that this--_person_ asked you to?

TRENT: Well, yeah, we didn't, but I talked to the guys and we decided to give the _"saving and protecting"_ thing a try. We figured it'd be worth a shot.

HELEN: _(Now comes up as well:)_ Well, I agree with Darren about nothing being wrong with what this _"benefactor"_ has done--at least from a _legal_ point of view. It seems your band has a _wealthy_ admirer, Trent.

QUINN: _(Excited:) Wow_! I wonder if that _"benefactor"_ person will give _me_ some money? _(Darren narrows an eye slightly at Quinn)_

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Well, if it's a _guy_, maybe if you do a _dance_ for him on his _la--_

HELEN & JAKE: _--DARIA_! _(Quinn glares at her, while Trent smirks, and Darren tries not to laugh)_

TRENT: We're _not_ selling out or anything, Daria. We figured if the guy or girl wants us to say, _play_ for him or her or something in the _future_ after the person tells us who he or she _is_, then the money they gave us would be like a _payment_.

DARIA: _(Ponders this, shrugs:)_ I guess that makes some sort of sense. Are you guys going to purchase the same instruments and stuff?

TRENT: _(Smiles:)_ Yeah--I've got my eye on a new guitar, and Jesse's got his eye on a new rhythmic one. Max and Nick want to get their new instruments as soon as possible, and we're gonna get a _better_ used van, too--greater gas mileage and more _comfort_ and stuff. We're gonna keep the _same_ name for it: _"Tank"_.

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ And why change that _wonderful_ name when it works so _well_?

TRENT: _(Laughs and then coughs:)_ Good one, Daria. Oh, and Janey called to see how I was doing when she found out about what happened--

DARIA: _(Slightly alarmed:)_ --Um, Trent, about that--

TRENT: --It's okay, Daria, I'm not _mad_ you _told_ her what happened to us, or anything. I mean, I told Janey and my mom about my good fortune, so it's okay. Anyway, I just wanted you guys to know everything's cool, now. The only thing I don't like about this is we never got a chance to _thank_ this person. _(Darren gives a quiet, personal smile to himself while Trent gets an "idea" look on his face:)_ Hey, that's _it_! I know how we can thank our _"benefactor"_!

DARIA: Let me guess--a _song_? _(Darren looks as he's about to say something, but doesn't)_

TRENT: Yeah, Daria--something that shows our _gratitude. (Opens front door:)_ I gotta get started on _writing_ that. I'll see you guys later. _(Leaves)_

DARIA: See you, Trent. _(Stares after him quietly, while Helen, Jake, and Quinn go back in the dining room. Darren, who's about to follow them, gives a quick glance to Daria, stops)_

DARREN: _(Cocks a curious eyebrow:)_ Everything _okay_, Daria? You seem to still be a little worried.

DARIA: _(Hesitant:)_ Well, um, don't get the _wrong_ idea, Darren, but I'm only wondering if this _"benefactor"_ person is a _female_--

DARREN: _(Shrugs:)_ What if it _is_, Daria? _(Pauses, realizes:)_ Surely you don't think she'd _want_--

DARIA: _(Adamant, cuts him off:)_ --No, of _course_ not--though it would be _none_ of my business if she _did_. I'm just wondering _why_ someone would want to _help_ Trent and his band all of a sudden.

DARREN: _(Stares at her for a second, chuckles:)_ Maybe someone out there actually _wants_ to see them _succeed_, Daria? From what I understand, people still give a _helping_ hand to those in need--too bad _more_ people don't do that nowadays. _(Leaves Daria to ponder his words)_

Daria shut the door and was about to go back when the doorbell rang again. Helen, Jake, and Quinn promptly ran out again, followed by Darren, who had just sat down at the table. Daria opened the door and a man from the courier service was there. _(Yes, reader, the same one)_

COURIER: _(To Daria:)_ Are _you_ Helen Morgendorffer?

DARIA: _(Deadpan, smirks:)_ Are you _kidding_? _(Helen comes up beside Daria, gives her a quick glare, then addresses the courier)_

HELEN: _I'm_ Helen Morgendorffer.

COURIER: _(Produces a large gray envelope:)_ Here you go, ma'am. _(Helen takes the envelope, while the courier produces his pen and pad:)_ Sign here, please. _(Helen does, gives the courier the pen and pad back, and like with Trent, the courier holds out his hand:) Ahem. (Helen smirks, looks over to Daria)_

HELEN: Handle that, sweetie, will you? _(Goes back into house)_

DARIA: _(Now smirking herself:)_ Can do, Mom. _(Looks at courier:)_ The tip is this: _Never try to get a tip from a teen-ager. (Shuts door)_

The courier looked at his hand, looked back at the door, then walked back to his vehicle, got into it, and _cried_.

Helen looked down on the envelope, her hands _trembling_. She simply stared at it, too afraid to open it. Jake and Quinn looked at each other, the same for Daria and Darren.

DARIA: Um--Mom? That envelope isn't gonna open _itself_, you know.

QUINN: Yeah, Mom--_open_ it!

JAKE: Honey, if you want _me_ to--

HELEN: _(At Jake:) Absolutely_ not! _I'll_ do it!

Helen _fumbled_ with the envelope for a moment, then took out the document with the raw DNA test results. Her eyes lit up, and she _gasped_. There was dead _silence_ in the living room.

JAKE: _(Swallows hard before speaking:) H-honey_? W-what does it _s-say_?

Helen looked at Jake, then at Darren.

HELEN: _(Begins to cry:)_ Jake, it's _positive_! He _is_ our son! _(Drops the results, runs over and fiercely hugs a shellshocked Darren, while Jake picks up the results)_

DARREN: _(Thought v.o. while Helen's hugging him: I-it's true--they really **are** my birth family. Even though I--we **assumed** it, it's still a shock to find out that it's **official**, now. It's almost--**anticlimatic** in a way--)_

JAKE: _(Eyes light up as he reads:) "--and the results match." (Looks over to Darren, tears in his eyes, runs over and hugs him, too) YAHOO_! My son! _My_ son!

_(Note to reader: What? Surely you didn't think Darren **wasn't** going be the Morgendorffer's son, did you? For **shame**!)_

DARREN: _(Struggles in Jake's iron-like grip:)_ Can't--breathe--you--have--to--lessen--grip-- _(to which Jake does, and Darren takes deep breaths)_

Quinn came up to Darren, with _tears_ in her eyes. She _struggled_ to speak.

QUINN: _(In a very quiet tone:)_ Y-you really _are_ my brother--there's _no_ doubt about it now. _(She hugs him with a grip, too, while Helen and Jake hold each other, and watch the scene, sobbing, and pleased)_

Daria looked around at everyone, feeling _uneasy_. She certainly wasn't used to this _"touchy-feely"_ stuff, and she guessed that she'd be _expected_ to do the _same_ thing. She looked over at her _now-official_ big brother. Daria had worked _hard_ to acquire the so-called _"Misery Chick"_ reputation. Over the years, she'd built up her emotional walls to such an extent, that she felt for sure _nothing_ could tear them down. Then she moved to Lawndale, and she met Jane, and then Trent. Those two broke _somewhat_ through her steel exterior, and she bent a little. Daria also considered the last few days since she had gone on an private emotional roller-coaster of discovering that she and Quinn _could have_ had a brother, only to discover that he died in childbirth, and then later discovering that he _didn't_ because of some _monster's_ debt obligations. All those years _never_ to be experienced. All that time to see a brother who could've been there for not only _her_, but _Quinn_ as well. Maybe if he _had_ been here, things would've turned out _differently_. After helping out her parents after thinking they had went through their _own_ personal nightmare, _Daria_ might have started to think a little differently, too. Helen came up to her, breaking her train of thought.

HELEN: _(Quietly:)_ Sweetie, you have a _brother_, now. Aren't you going to, well, _do_ something? _(Daria's eyes light up slightly, and she freezes)_

DARREN: _(Interjects, thought v.o.: Uh-oh, better do something, myself, here--:)_ Uh, it's _okay_. Daria doesn't have to be put on the _spot_ like that--_really_. Let's just go back and, uh, finish eating, okay? _(Waves his hand as if dismissing the notion, and Helen sighs, seeing that her oldest daughter isn't going to do the deed, which shouldn't have surprised her)_

Daria was _stunned_. Darren actually seemed to _understand_ her reluctance. He certainly wasn't going to pressure her. She looked at the others, who looked at each other, shrugged, and started to walk off. _Whoa--**they** understood as well?_ That was a bit of a _shock_--or maybe they had _expected_ her to do that--so it probably _wasn't_ a shock, now that she thought about it. Daria quickly considered herself. _Was_ she so _distant_ that she couldn't feel _anything_? She looked over at Darren, who had waited for Helen, Jake, and Quinn to walk back into the dining room. He was about to go when she spoke.

DARIA: _(Deadpan, in a low voice, sighs, thought v.o.: Ah, **hell**, why not this **once**--at least not in front of the others?:)_ Wait a second--_bro_.

DARREN: _(Eyebrow cocked, curious:)_ Yes, Daria?

Daria took a quick glance at the rest of her family, who were sitting at the table and out of sight. She then turned to her intrigued brother and smirked.

DARIA: _(Gives him a mock-warning glance:)_ I _swear_, if you _tell_ the rest of the family what I'm _about_ to do, I _will_ kill you.

DARREN: _(Surprised look on his face:) Huh_? What do you mean, Dar--

Darren couldn't finish his statement because his sister had him in a rigid _hug_. He was startled for a moment, then he slowly hugged her _back_. They held each other for a few seconds more, then Daria broke away, red-faced.

DARIA: _(While walking to the dining room:)_ That _never_ happened, got it?

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ Got it--_sis_. _(Daria looks at him for a moment, then gives a ever-so-tiny Mona Lisa smile)_

Both sat down at the dining room table, and had an old-fashioned _family_ meal with the others.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 - Prelude to "F-Day"

The next few days that spilled into the early part of the following week passed quickly. During that time, Jake and Darren had gone golfing (with Darren _allowing_ Jake to win) and by chance had met _Andrew Landon_ on the Sedimentary Rock golf links. Jake had wasted no time in proudly introducing his son, and Andrew, who along with his wife Michele, had been told by his daughter Jodie about Darren. Needless to say, Andrew was _still_ in shock over the story. Jake, who had been in a sort of personal _"can-you-top-this"_ competition with Andrew, pointed out (half-jokingly) that unlike Andrew, he didn't have to worry about _diaper changes_ or _temper tantrums_, or the like, as opposed to Andrew and his baby son _Evan_. All three went into the clubhouse and ate lunch, and the talk lapsed into general conversation about business and politics. After Andrew had gone into his standard _"welfare cheats"_ speech, Darren pointed out (over Andrew's trying to cut him off, for which Darren kindly asked that Mr. Landon listen to _his_ opinion like he took the courtesy to listen to _Mr. Landon's_--a moment that made Jake feel proud of his son for _standing up_ for himself, something that Jake himself wished he could do more of) that _workfare_ was fine, too, and that daycare should be provided for the children of those mothers who get _off_ of welfare. Darren explained that if those politicians favor workfare so _badly_, then they should find ways to help _pay_ for it. Andrew Landon, for once, was at a _loss_ for words, and that couldn't have _pleased_ Jake more.

As for Helen, Darren _dragged_ her out to a coffee shop in Lawndale's shopping district the following day for a _"Mother-Son"_ get together. Fortunately, Helen had gotten some experience with "relaxing" from her sister Amy _(See Kara Wild's excellent fanfic "The Tie That Chokes")_ and had been reminded by her son that she should take it easy because she _was_ on vacation the following week. Helen looked at her son and smiled, and the two had a talk about the upcoming Morgendorffer-Barksdale family get-together. (An affair Daria had called _"F-Day"_ privately to Darren because of what Daria said would be the _hellish_ invasion of their families upon the Morgendorffer home--a play of words on the World War II Allied invasion of Europe--_"D-Day"_.) Helen certainly was excited about _"showing off"_ her son to her mother and sisters. Darren smiled at this, but one thought in the back of his mind still nagged at him: telling the Morgendorffers the _truth_ about who he really was. These people were now _officially_ his birth family. Would it really make a _difference_ that he was _wealthy_? When would he _tell_ them? He figured perhaps the time just _before_ he met his grandmothers and aunts might be the time to do the deed.

The following day, Quinn had gotten word from _Sandi_ that Sandi and her family were back in town from their vacation. Quinn could detect a _hostile_ note of _doubt_ in Sandi's voice about Quinn's claim that Quinn had indeed gotten the _"gift"_ Quinn had bragged about and wanted to show _"it"_ off at the Pizza King tomorrow to the rest of the Fashion Club. Quinn _smirked_--when she would _show off_ her brother to Sandi, Tiffany, and Stacy, it could completely _shatter_ the make-up _(no pun intended)_ of the Fashion Club. Quinn could see her friends be so completely _overwhelmed_ by Darren's _looks_, they'd be like _putty_ in her hands, even _Sandi_. Dare she'd even think of the _presidentcy_? The only problem she could see was her _cous--sister_, Daria. Would Daria go _along_ with saying Darren was _her_ "cousin", while saying Quinn was Darren's _sister_? Maybe she could be _bribed_. Daria, after all, had been bribed into saying she was Quinn's _cousin, foreign-exchange student, and au pair_ when Quinn's dates would come around, and had even made a hefty _profit_ over it. (Quinn made up the difference when she got dinners and gifts from her _dates_, so as Quinn figured it, _everyone_ came out on top.) Of course, _Darren_ would have to be _persuaded_ to go along as well, but Quinn was confident he'd come around to _her_ way of thinking--especially after she laid on her sisterly _charm_. First things first, though--phase _one_ of her plan--_bribing_ Daria.

_(The scene is Daria's room, a few minutes later)_

DARIA: _(While propped up on her pillow reading Truman Capote's "In Cold Blood":) Hell_ no.

QUINN: _(Stands in the middle of Daria's room, arms wide open:) Pleeeease_, Daria? You didn't have a problem with any of the _other_ times when you were given money and pretending to be _my_ cousin!

Daria looked up from her book, frowning.

DARIA: Quinn, I have _no_ intention of saying that Darren is my _cousin_, and _your_ brother. You seem to think this is the same _damn_ thing, and it's _not_. I've got a _brother_ now, and there's _no_ way I'm gonna pretend he's anything _else. (Pauses:)_ Maybe you're _ashamed_ of me because of the way I am, but _he's_ not. _(Looks back down to book)_

QUINN: _(Frowns now, stomps:) Fine_, then! Go on an' _say_ he's your brother an' everything! But he's _my_ brother too, and he'll do what I _ask_ him to do, you'll see! _(Runs out of Daria's room, slams the door)_

Daria tried to continue to read her book, but she looked up after Quinn, troubled. Daria recalled in the Pizza King's restroom about thinking how Quinn could be _very_ persuasive when she wanted to be--God knows she had been all these _years_ with their parents and a lot of other people. She slowly slid off her bed and quietly slipped out of her room, knowing full well where her sister had gone--to _Darren's_ room. Surely enough, she heard both Darren's and Quinn's voices behind the door. Narrowing her eyes, Daria listened through it.

QUINN: _(With her patented "puppy-dog" look:) Pleeeease_, Darren? All I'm asking is that you'd say that Daria's _not_ my sister!

DARREN: _(Stunned, sounding a little angry:)_ I can't _believe_ this, Quinn! Daria _was_ right! You _are_ ashamed of her! _(Frowns:)_ Why--do you _hate_ her or something? _(Outside the room, Daria smirks--it looks as Darren won't fall for Quinn's charm)_

QUINN: _(Frantic:)_ No, no! I _don't_ hate Daria! _(Daria raises an eyebrow) Really_! _(Grows quiet:)_ It's just that--she's got this--_thing_.

DARREN: _(Eyebrow cocked:) "Thing"_, Quinn? _What_ "thing"? _(Daria strains to really listen now)_

QUINN: _(Looks down, red-faced:)_ She's--just so darn--what's that word? Oh yeah--_rigid_ in what she wants to do an' stuff. Daria doesn't wanna be _like_ everyone else--you know, she has no _dates_, no _fashion sense_, nothing! She just wants to be a _"brain"_, an' that's it. She likes to do _homework, read books_, an' _keep to herself_, save for her _weirdo_ friend, _Jane_. It's _embarassing_--it keeps me from having _any_ sort of life because she's always tryin' to do something to _humiliate_ me an' stuff. _(Daria frowns over this)_

DARREN: _(Ponders, then sounding sarcastic:)_ In other words, most things you _don't_ want to be. _(Quinn nods, frantically)_

QUINN: Would _you_ wanna be _like_ her an' everything? All I want to do is keep my reputation _impact_--

DARREN: _(Sighs:)_ I believe you mean _"intact"_--

QUINN: Huh? Oh yeah, _intact_-- and if the Fashion Club finds out we're _sisters_, I could be kicked _out_! _(Darren looks at Quinn with mild disbelief)_ Popularity and fashion mean the _world_ to me! It _is_ me! _Without_ it, I'd just _die_! I need _that_, just as Daria needs _her_ stuff! _(Voice grows low:)_ Daria doesn't _have_ to know, Darren--all I'm asking is that you'd say Daria's _not_ my sister--at least not in _front_ of my friends--_pleeeeease_? _("Puppy dog" look again, walks up to him and hooks her arm under his, looks up into his eyes)_

DARIA: _(Gets a dread feeling in her stomach, thought v.o.: Oh, **hell**, he might just **buy** Quinn's little "act"---)_

Darren stared at Quinn for a moment, then did a _slight_ smirk, so slight, Quinn didn't register the look on his face--or the _plan_ he was developing in his mind. _Quinn did not want this "Fashion Club" to know that Daria was **her** sister, eh? Okay, Quinn--be careful what you wish for._

DARREN: _(Faux long sigh:)_ Okay, Quinn--I'll _do_ it--I'll _promise_ to tell your Fashion Club friends that Daria's _not_ your sister. _(Daria looks devastated for a moment, then slowly shuffles back to her room, pauses to look back with her normal expressionless face, then goes in)_

QUINN: _(In the meantime wildly elated, squeals:)_ Oh, _thank you_, Darren! _(Hugs him, kisses him on the cheek:)_ Thank you! You're the _best_ brother in the world! _(Smirks wickedly:)_ Wait 'till _San_--um, I mean the _Fashion Club_ finds out--I'll be the _envy_ of them all! _Hah_! _(Pauses:)_ Oh, yeah--we're gonna meet them at about 2:00 tomorrow afternoon at the Pizza King, okay? _(Gets ready to leave, but Darren gently holds her arm) Huh_, what?

DARREN: _Waaait_ a second, sis--_(gets a scheming look on his face:)_ why say anything to your friends _before_ they see me? I mean, why give _away_ your secret? Your friends will know what to _expect_ when they meet me, and where is the _fun_ in that? Wouldn't you rather _spring_ the surprise on them when they first _see_ me?

QUINN: _(Gasps:)_ You're _right_, bro! Why should I give away my _tramp_ card--

DARREN: --That's _"trump"_ card, Quinn--

QUINN: _--whatever_, away? _(Pauses, narrows her eyes in thought:)_ Hmmm--I should look my _best_ when I introduce you, so I think I'll go to _Cashman's_ for a new blouse, or something. I guess I can get some of _my_ money an'--

DARREN: --Wait a moment, Quinn. _(Reaches into his wallet and pulls out some cash:)_ Here's _$50_--I was going to use it to help _pay_ my way while living here, but our--_parents_ won't let me--maybe it can help _you_ out. _(Lowers his voice, looks around:)_ We'll _keep_ this to ourselves, okay?

QUINN: _(Estatic beyond words:) Wow_! Sure! _(Takes the money:)_ Thanks, Darren! _(Hugs and kisses him on the cheek again)_ I'll show it off to you when I get back, okay?

DARREN: Sure, sis--now, remember: if you happen to _see_ any of your friends on your way to _Cashman's_ or anywhere in between, don't say _anything_ to them about me.

QUINN: _(Opening the door, winking at him:)_ Don't worry, bro--I won't ruin the _surprise. (Leaves the room, goes down the stairs, and is heard telling Helen that she's leaving to go to look at some clothes at Cashman's)_

DARREN: _(Looks in the direction where Quinn went, smirks, thought v.o.: Oh, yes, sis--we wouldn't want to ruin the **surprise** without you looking your **best** now, would we?) (Leaves, goes to Daria's room, knocks on her door:)_ Daria? It's Darren! May I come in?

There was _no_ response.

DARREN: _(Knocks again:)_ Daria? Are you in there? It's Darren!

The door slowly opened, and Daria looked at Darren with her usual impassive look.

DARREN: _(Pauses, miffed:)_ Say, are you _okay_? Did I wake you up or something, if I did, I didn't mean to--

DARIA: _(Turns around from Darren, walks back to her bed, in a low voice:)_ --No, I was just--_thinking_ about something, that's all.

DARREN: _(Inquisitive, follows her:)_ Oh? Something I can _help_ you with?

DARIA: _(After staring at Darren for a moment, sighs, sits down on her bed:)_ Yeah--maybe in a way you _can_--how does Quinn _do_ it?

DARREN: _(Perplexed, sits down beside her:)_ Do--_what_?

DARIA: _(In a quiet tone:)_ You know, _win_ people over to her side with that damn _"charm"_ act of hers. Ever since we were _kids_, she's always been able to pull the wool over _mom and dad's_ eyes. She been able to pull the wool over our _relative's_ eyes. She's been able to pull the wool over her _date's_ eyes. _(Pauses, shrugs:)_ It's now pretty clear to me _what_ Quinn really is--she is one hell of a _sheep shearer_, what, with all that damn wool she keeps _producing_ that keeps covering everyone's eyes--including, apparently, _yours. (Looks away)_

Darren looked at Daria for a second, confused, then the realization suddenly set in.

DARREN: Daria, you _heard_ us talking in my room, didn't you?

DARIA: _(Frowns at Darren now:) Brilliant_ deduction, _"Sherlock"_--it's all _"elementary"_ now, isn't it?

DARREN: _(Looks at Daria softly:) Sis_, I can _explain_ that, if you'll let me.

DARIA: _(Suddenly gets up, sounding a bit hurt, for her:)_ Don't you mean _"cuz"_? What in the _hell_ is there to explain, Darren, other than _"Quinn wins again"_?

DARREN: _(Gets up, smirks:)_ Not even if I told you that I had a little _idea_ to teach our sister a _"lesson"_ she won't soon forget?

DARIA: _(Now confused, but becoming a little curious:)_ What in the _hell_ are you talking about, Darren?

DARREN: _(While leaving Daria, stops at the doorway:)_ I was going to _tell_ you, but I think I'm going to _show_ you instead. I'm going to ask you to _trust_ me, Daria--let's just say things might not be the _same_ for Quinn after we meet the Fashion Club tomorrow at the Pizza King. Come about ten minutes before two, and wait in a booth out of the way--you'll see what I'm going to do. _(Leaves)_

Daria looked at her open door, perplexed for a moment. Darren suddenly appeared at her doorway again.

DARREN: Oh, and _sis_?

DARIA: _(Uncertain look:) Yeees--_?

DARREN: _(Genuine smile, in a quiet tone:)_ I'm _proud_ that you're my sister. _(Leaves)_

Daria went over to the door, shut it, and then went back and resumed reading her book on her bed. She glanced back at the door and gave her small Mona Lisa smile.

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: No doubt about it now, I'm developing a **soft** spot for my "new" bro--how in the hell does he do that to **me** of all people?)_

Darren went in his room and dialed his phone. He waited for a few rings, and someone answered on the other end.

VOICE: Hello?

DARREN: Hey, _Curtis_--I hope I didn't disturb you, or anything.

CURTIS: _(Sounding like a sneer:)_ Well, _now_--if it isn't Mr. _"Coverton"._

DARREN: Yes, I--_(realizes something:)_ wait a moment--_how_ did you know about the last name I was _using_ while I'm here?

CURTIS: _(Now sounding subdued and disappointed:)_ Your _aunt_ called me before she went on her vacation to Europe. She gave me your cell phone number to call you, and imagine my _surprise_ when she told me what you were doing. Millie must've thought that I had known about your little _"ruse"_, you know, her thinking you had _told_ me? Anyway, she wanted me to call you just to see how you were doing.

DARREN: _(Perplexed:)_ If _that's_ the case, _why_ hadn't you called me yet?

CURTIS: _(Now sounding a little angry:)_ I wanted you to call _me_ so I could ask why in the _hell_ are you trying to _trick_ these people?! _(Darren flinches)_ Even _more_ importantly, why are you listening to your _uncle's_ advice in _lying_ to them? You know _damn_ good and well that you can't _trust_ him! Do you really think that your _money_ will make these people see you any _differently_? When _we_ first met, I sure as hell wasn't _impressed_!

DARREN: _(Sighs:)_ Look, Curtis--I'm going to tell the Morgendorffers _tonight_ when I eat dinner with them, okay? I know you're _right_--I just wanted to get to know my birth family without the _"money thing"_--well--just being there as some sort of a _distraction_. As for my _uncle_, even I have to admit he was _right_ about Woo and his work, so why not _this_? _(Pauses, changes subject:)_ Speaking of Woo, I'm _still_ using him to check out if the jet that was carrying my parents really crashed because of mechanical error.

CURTIS: _(Sounding confused:)_ I'm sorry--I'm _missing_ something here. Isn't the _National Transportation Safety Board_ still investigating that crash? _Why_ would you want to hire Woo to investigate on the _side_?

DARREN: Because Woo can do his investigation without any governmental _red-tape_ getting in the way, and he has a record of getting things done, as I can attest. You see, my parents were always _adamant_ when it came to maintaining our company's private jet fleet. I remember one time when my mom found out that a company jet had a loose wheel that had resulted in a rough landing. She, like my dad, became _very_ upset, and insisted on having _all_ of the fleet's landing gear checked. My parents never wanted anyone working for the company or using the jets for pleasure to die, so they wrote a _company memo_ that required that all jets from now on would be _double-checked_ for inspections. _(Grows quiet:)_ Do you know that no one died in any of our company jets until my _parents_ did?

CURTIS: _(In a low voice:)_ No, I didn't know.

DARREN: My mom's uncle had gotten _killed_ in a plane crash when she was a teen-ager. Apparently, they were close, and it made her kind of _fearful_ of flying for awhile until my dad got her out of it. That landing-gear incident kind of _re-triggered_ her fears. _(Pauses:)_ Look, I'm probably worried about _nothing_, but I guess I'm doing what my parents would do if someone _else_ had died on our jet. If Woo finds nothing on the side like I _expect_, well--then I can leave it alone.

CURTIS: Okay, I can understand where you're going with that. _(Lightens tone:)_ Now, how about your birth family? Tell me what's up.

DARREN: _(Grins:)_ First and foremost, I am now _officially_ related to the Morgendorffers, courtesy of a DNA test, which is the main reason that I'm telling them who I really am tonight. As for _knowing_ my birth family, ah, well--it's sort of like stepping into a _cartoon_--

_(Scene changes to the Appleton Tower, about ten minutes later)_

_Leonard Potter_ came into William Appleton's office in a _huff_. William got out from behind his desk to meet him, wearing a _false_ smile. Benny, who had been sitting in the couch in front of William's desk, got up as well.

WILLIAM: _(Faux grin:)_ Ah, Leonard, I'm _glad_ you could--

LEONARD: _(Frowns:) --Save_ it, William. It's been going around that you've been wanting to _replace_ me by sending me out to the West coast branch.

WILLIAM: _(Feigns surprise:)_ Why, Leonard, I can't figure out _why_ you're so _upset_, here. I mean, you'll be getting a _raise_, and will be _heading_ our branch out there. You have _no_ family here. What's the _problem_?

LEONARD: You know _damn_ well what the _"problem"_ is, William--my _legal advice_. You've tried to make some business decisions that we both know are _ill-conceived and dangerous. (Smirks:)_ When Darren _chose_ you to head the conglomerate, I actually thought he had made the _right_ decision based on your experience and past record, but you've seemed--oh, I don't know--a little _paranoid_ lately? _(Sneers:)_ Maybe _Constance's_ recent success is _getting_ to you--?

William's face grew red with _rage_, and his mouth grew into a _twisted_ smirk, as if he were trying to control the growing _contortion_ on his face. He quickly walked to within a few _inches_ of Leonard's face. Leonard, however, looked completely _unfazed_. William looked as if he were about to do something in anger, but he caught a quick gaze at _Benny_, who was behind Leonard, motioning _desperately_ with his head not to do something _foolish_. William's frown turned into a slow _smile_, his eyes narrowing.

WILLIAM: _(Still in Leonard's face, speaks in a low voice:)_ Oh, no you don't. You're not going to hold that _bait_ out there for me to _bite. (Backs off, turns around:)_ If you want to _refuse_ to go--

LEONARD: --You'd _want_ me to quit, or give you a _reason_ to fire me, wouldn't you? That way, you can tell the Board and the shareholders that I did _either_, and get you out of the hot seat. _(Narrows his eyes at William:)_ I'll go out to the West coast, William--I won't give you the _satisfaction_ of getting what you want. _(Leaves, but stops at the door:)_ After all, the way _you're_ going, I figure that I _won't_ be out there long anyway. _(Goes out of the office)_

WILLIAM: _(Stares at the door, talks in a low voice through clenched teeth:) DAMN HIM_! It's all going to _hell_, Benny.

BENNY: Boss, you gotta _calm down_. Look, I wanted to tell you about that _payment_ to _Sanchez_--

WILLIAM: _(Glares at Benny:)_ --Benny, now is _not_ the time to tell me about Sanchez. Tell that _idiot_ to lie low, and he'll get the _second_ half of his payment after the NTSB completes their investigation, per our agreement.

BENNY: _(Shrugs:)_ Sure, Boss. _(Pauses, remembers the last time he was in William's office:)_ You want to be _alone_?

WILLIAM: _(Sighs:) Yes_, Benny, I don't want to be disturbed anymore this afternoon, all right?

BENNY: Okay, Boss. _(Leaves the office)_

William sat down at his desk, rubbing his temples. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, trying to relax. As much as he hated to admit it, Benny was right. _Why_ was he so _worried_? He was the _Chairman_. He was _exactly_ where he wanted to be, even at the _expense_ of his brother and sister-in-law. He smirked to himself. They were _weak, helpless, gullible fools_. They had a _bastard_ son, his _"nephew"_, the result of a greedy _nincompoop_ who wanted to clear his gambling debts. At least Darren would be _out_ of the way for awhile, thanks to William's _ingenious_ plan, and William could begin to _consolidate_ his power, possibly convincing the Board of Directors to _push_ Darren out because William could say that Darren _wasn't_ interested in the business anyway. He grinned to himself over _that_ thought. He then thought about his sister _Millie_--now _there_ was woman who knew to stay _out_ of the way of business--besides, he _favored_ her _over_ Arthur Sr. in the sibling _rivalry_ the two had while growing up. She only _casually_ dabbled in it, and that in a way that didn't _threaten_ William--_unlike_ Constance, who might have to be _dealt_ with soon because she _overstepped_ her _boundries_ like _Potter_ did.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sudden beeping on the private line of his phone. William cocked an eyebrow, preplexed. The line was an _old_ one he was planning to change later. _Who_ could be calling? _Few_ people knew of the line, save for immediate family. It was used for private family conversations, and in some cases, _backroom_ business dealings, though in recent years, Arthur Sr. had decided to use it again for _private_ family purposes only--the _fool_--William would have _continued_ to use it for business. What was that that President _Calvin Coolidge_ said? _"The business of America is business"_? Curious, he hit the intercom button and began to speak.

WILLIAM: Hello? Who is this?

VOICE: This is _Darren_, Uncle Will.

WILLIAM: _(Frowns, but forces himself to sound happy:)_ Why, _Darren_! How are you doing, my boy? It's been awhile!

DARREN: Everything's fine, Uncle Will. I just wanted you to know that I'm okay--I decided to call you at the _last_ moment. I was concerned you'd be in a _meeting_, but it looks like I caught you at a _good_ time. I see my dad's _old private phone number_ still works.

WILLIAM: _(Talks through clenched teeth:)_ Indeed it _does_, Darren. How is everything going with your birth family? _(Looks hopeful:)_ Are you getting to _know_ them?

DARREN: Actually, I wanted to _touch_ on that thought. _(Pauses:)_ I found out after taking some DNA tests that I'm _definitely_ related to the Morgendorffers.

WILLIAM: _(Sounding actually a little happy:)_ That--that's _wonderful_, Darren! Does this mean you're going to be _staying_ with them for awhile, at least until fall registration at Eastward?

DARREN: Something like that, Uncle Will--but I'm going to tell them the whole truth _tonight_.

WILLIAM: _(Mouth agape, alarmed, jumps up:)_ Y-you _can't_, Darren--you just _can't_! _(Calms down:)_ I-I mean--do you _really_ know these people well enough to do that so _soon_? You don't want to be too _hasty_, do you?

DARREN: _(After a pause:)_ Well, yes I do, Uncle Will--I think _do_ know them well enough to do it. No more _lies_. I just wanted _you_ to know my plans, that's all.

WILLIAM: _(Looks to say something, anything:)_ But--but--what if they _reject_ you after you tell them for lying to them?

DARREN: _(Sighing sound:)_ Uncle Will, I'm _officially_ the Morgendorffer's son now, remember? I doubt they'll hold that _against_ me for too long.

WILLIAM: But what about the _media_? Once they find out--

DARREN: _(Cuts him off:)_ --It won't matter either way, Uncle Will--they're going to find out sooner or later _anyhow. (Pauses, starts sounding suspicious:) Why_ do you seem so _worried_ over the Morgendorffers finding out who I really am, anyway, Uncle Will?

WILLIAM: _(In grand lying mode:)_ I--just think that these Morgen_dullers--_

DARREN: --Morgen_DORFFERS_, Uncle Will--

WILLIAM: --Morgendorffers, Darren--might not like the _attention_ of having an _Appleton_ being related to them do to their _private_ lives. Do you really want to put them on the _spot_ like that, Darren? The media will give them _no_ peace when the story gets out--or _you_ for that matter. Did you know that _several_ media outlets have been asking _where_ you are? The office has been doing a _bang-up job_ keeping them guessing, but it's only a matter of _time_ before everything comes out in the open.

There was a pause on the other end. William hoped against hope.

DARREN: _(In a low voice:)_ What you've said makes _some_ sense, Uncle Will, but as _I've_ said, and you've _confirmed_, sooner or later, they're going to know about it _anyway_--no, it's going to be _tonight_.

WILLIAM: _(Tries to control his temper, sounding curt:) Fine_, then. I just hope you know that your family's _lives_ will change _forever_.

DARREN: I understand the _risks_, Uncle Will. Well, I'd better hop to it. I'll talk to you later--oh, by the way, I read in the business section of the local paper--let's see--the _Lawndale Sun-Herald_ I believe-- that _Constance Waters_ got us a share of Tsumana, and _sold_ those nuclear plants! You and dad had been after Tsumana for _years_! Could you _congratulate_ her for me, Uncle Will? _(Pauses:)_ Hey, look at the time, gotta go--tell aunt Millie I said hello, and take it easy, okay? Goodbye. _(Hangs up)_

William stared at the phone for a moment, then suddenly and violently pulled the phone _out_ of its socket, and _threw_ it across his office. Upon hearing the noise, his secretary barged into his office, looking around, concerned.

SECRETARY: Is everything all right, Mr. Appleton? I heard--_(sees phone on the floor:)_ my goodness, the _phone_--

WILLIAM: _(Fights every instinct not to shout at her:)_ It's all right--the phone needed to be--_replaced_ anyway. Call the phone service company, will you, oh, and get _Benny_, please? Dial his pager number if he isn't in his office, and tell him to come up here a.s.a.p. _(Sits back down at desk, and turns his chair away from his confused secretary, who after a moment, goes out of the office shaking her head)_

_(The Morgendorffer home, a few hours later, dinnertime)_

The Morgendorffers and Darren were at the dining room table going through the events of the day, with Helen talking about having everything ready for the visits by their families. Jake was reading the paper while Quinn was talking about introducing Darren to her Fashion Club friends tomorrow. Darren and Daria were eating their food while listening to Helen. Helen explained that their relatives would be staying at the _Stopover Motel_, based on Darren's recommendation from his short stay there.

DARIA: That motel better call in the _National Guard_ to _protect_ the other guests. I hear a _tank_ might not be enough for _that_ crowd, and I don't mean the "new" used one Mystik Spiral's getting. _(Darren tries not to laugh while Helen glares at Daria)_

Darren then stared down at his food, perplexed--yet _another_ dinner of lasagna. Previously, he wouldn't say anything out of common _courtesy_, but now, this was getting a bit--_repetitive_. Daria, sitting beside him, cut her eyes over to Darren and smirked. She slightly leaned over to him and spoke in a low voice.

DARIA: Yum, yum, bro--_eat up_. There's plenty _more_ where that came from.

Darren looked over at Daria sheepishly, then chuckled. He certainly wasn't going to complain, especially after his pending _announcement_. Perhaps after his birth family got over the expected shock and possible _anger, (for which Darren hoped for very little of)_ he could offer to take them _out_, or possibly prepare--well, that could wait--no need to give away all of his _secrets_. No matter--time to end this _charade_. He took a deep breath and was reluctantly about to tell them who he really was, when Helen's cell phone rang, which Helen promptly answered.

HELEN: _(In her falsetto voice:) Hellooooo_? Eric? The _Van Reef_ case? Oh, of course, yes, _do_ go on. _(Gasps:)_ Those _bastards_! _(Everyone looks at each other)_

DARREN: _(While Helen is talking:)_ Doesn't she know she's on _vacation_? I tried to tell her that when we were at the coffee shop.

DARIA: You don't know mom. Work is the _rule_ and _never_ the exception with her, all the time. If it _moves_ at the firm, mom's on it. _(Looks at Quinn, smirks:)_ So, how goes the _"dating game"_, sis? You sure have been hanging around _here_ a lot lately. _(Quinn narrows her eyes in a dangerous glare at Daria)_

JAKE: _(Looks from behind his paper:)_ Yeah, sweetie--usually, you have to _beat_ the guys back! _(Becomes alarmed:) OHMYGOSH_! One of them didn't--they didn't _GIVE_ you something, and it got _out_, and now the rest of the boys are _afraid_ of you? _(Daria smirks some more while Darren almost chokes on his food because he's ready to explode in laughter, and Daria reaches over and gently pats him on the back)_

DARREN: _(Coughs slightly, drinks some water:)_ Thanks, sis.

DARIA: Eh, no problem, bro.

QUINN: _(Disgusted look:) EWWWWW_! Daddy! I didn't get anything like _that_ from the guys! I'm just here because I gotta get ready for tomrrow's meeting with the Fashion Club! _(Laughs a little uneasily:)_ The guys aren't really afraid of _me_--

DARIA: --Quinn's right, Dad--they're afraid of _Darren_, and since he's here, they're not stepping _one_ foot in our home until he's gone. You _remember_, Dad? I told you and mom about the incident at the Pizza King with Joey, Jeffrey, and Jamie--

QUINN: --That's _"Jasper"--_

DARREN: --No, Quinn, Daria's _right_, it's _"Jamie"._

QUINN: Oh, yeah, right. _(Pauses:)_ Well, like I said, I won't hold it _against_ Darren--especially after _tomorrow. (Smirks, looks at Darren:)_ When they see _you_, bro, they're gonna _flip_!

DARIA: And just think, it won't be because _Darren_ did the flipping--_(ponders, looks across at Quinn:)_ and you know, that's a _damned_ shame. I would've _loved_ to see any one of your fellow fashion _airheads_ go head-over-heels by Darren's _hands_, and not by his _looks. (Darren grimaces, rolls his eyes, amused, while Jake chuckles and goes back to his paper)_

QUINN: _(Angry:) Shut up_, Daria! Those are my _friends_ you're talking about!

DARIA: And with friends like _them_, why do you need _any_ enemies?

QUINN: _(Smirks:)_ Yeah, sis--I've got _you. (Resumes eating)_

DARIA: _(Impressed tone:) Touche_, sis--I have to admit, you're getting _better_ with your _comebacks_. Why, someday, you might even _rival_ me--you noticed I said _"might". (Notices Darren staring forward in space:)_ A _nickel_ for your thoughts, Darren? I'd say _penny_, but they're not _popular_ anymore. Hmm--now when I think about it, that's _my_ kind of money since it isn't. _(Sees that Darren is still staring forward, becomes a little concerned, looks at everyone else, and leans over to her brother, in a low voice:)_ Darren, are you _okay_?

DARREN: _(Comes out of his trance:)_ Huh? Oh, sorry--I was deep in thought about something.

DARIA: _(Still in her low voice, gives a quick glance at Quinn, who isn't paying attention because she's looking at her fingernails:)_ Don't tell me you're having _second_ thoughts about tomorrow at the Pizza King?

DARREN: _(Leans over to Daria, in the same tone:)_ Oh--no, although I don't really want to do it, I think this _has_ to be done for Quinn's own _good_. I'm just thinking about something _else_, that's all. After uh--_your_ mom gets off the phone, I'll say what it is.

Helen finally finished talking, and she didn't look too pleased. She frowned, clicked off her phone, and spoke in an _acid-laced_ tone.

HELEN: Those _damn_ Van Reefs! _(Jake, distracted, looks from behind his newspaper)_ How in the _hell_ did they get _off_ so easily?

DARREN: _(Confused look:)_ Uh, _who_ are the Van Reefs?

HELEN: _(Glares at Darren for a moment out of frustration, then begins to eat her food:)_ Only the county's _richest_ family--they own only about _half_ of it. You see, our firm was hired by a client who claimed that the Van Reefs _bilked_ him out of a _$1,000,000_ land deal, and was suing for breach of contract. Our client even _produced_ the evidence to back up his claim, _(makes a disgusted face:)_ but the _fancy_ high-priced lawyers representing the Van Reefs _some-damn-or-another-how_ got them off completely. _(Sighs:)_ I suppose money _talks_, and the truth _walks_. It _infuriates_ me that the wealthy can use their _damn_ money to take _advantage_ of everyone else. _(Darren looks at Helen a little uncomfortably, begins to say something, but Jake jumps in)_

JAKE: _(Angry, slams his fists on table, rattling the food and everyone's nerves:)_ Boy, I'll say! I've been competing with a big consulting firm across the street from where I work, and the head of the firm, _Calvin Hopkins_, is a big, fat, _filthy_ rich _bastard_ who calls me _everyday_, and tells me how much _better_ his firm is doing than mine! _(Frowns:)_ One of these days, I'm gonna get a client that's gonna put _me_ over the top! _(Looks up:)_ You hear _that_, Old Man? I'm gonna _succeed_, and then I'll be able to buy the things my kids will need, and no rich _scrooge_ will have all the money and power to _rub_ it in my face! _(Darren looks uncomfortable at Jake's words)_

HELEN: JAKE! get a grip! _(Looks at Darren:)_ You're _scaring_ Darren! _(Darren looks at Helen as if to say, "Are you crazy?") (Sighs, resigned:)_ I think we can say that having that much money gets things _done_--

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ --Such as _bribery_ or _kickbacks, self-indulgent extravagance_, an _overnight stay in the Lincoln bedroom--(hearing Daria's barbs makes Darren quietly wince)_

QUINN: Well, if the guy's _rich_, I'm definitely gonna get _something_ out of him--

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ --What a _surprise_--

QUINN: --and I'm gonna come out ahead, especially if I can _marry_ one--_(Darren looks sadly at Quinn)_

HELEN: _(Frowns:)_ --Quinn! That sort of talk is something I'd expect from your _grandma Ruth_! A woman these days has to work _hard_ to become successful--_(narrows her eyes, looks out in space:) unlike_ those _rich fuddy-duddies_ who inherit their parent's _incredible_ wealth and connections, and haven't worked a _damn_ day in their lives, but who can _still_ influence the _outcome_ of a case! _(Looks at Darren, who is looking at everyone wide-eyed, trying to say something, but nothing's coming out)_ Oh, Darren--do _you_ have something to say on this, son?

JAKE: Yeah, Big Guy--weigh in on this _with_ us! Don't be _shy_!

QUINN: Come _on_, bro--tell our parents that _marrying_ or even _knowing_ a rich guy can get you _ahead_!

DARIA: _(While eating:)_ You might as well put in your _two cents_ worth, bro--they're not gonna stop until they hear _your_ opinion. Believe me, I'm the _living proof_ of being annoyed to _death_ until I say something to _pacify_ them. _(Everyone but Darren glares at Daria, who looks at them with a mischievous sort of innocence and shrugs:) What_?

Darren looked between Helen, Jake, and Quinn, while Daria looked at Darren, smirking to see what he'd say out of curiosity.

DARREN: _(Searches carefully for words:)_ Well--uh--I think you all--have um, some _good_ points, yes, _very_ good points. _(Keeps eating)_

HELEN: _(Looks concerned for a moment:)_ Darren, we didn't mean to put you on the _spot_ like that--

DARREN: --It's okay. _(Keeps eating:)_ I mean, that's what family dinners are supposed to be for--

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ --You mean, to try and _sum up_ the _whole_ day in an hour around the good 'ol family _dining_ room table? What _planet_ are you from?

HELEN: _(Glares:)_ Daria! _(Looks at Darren, smiles:)_ Didn't your parents have the customary family dinners, Darren?

DARREN: Oh, yes ma'am--we always um--sat _around_ the table and talked, almost everyday. _(Resumes eating)_

DARIA: _(After a moment, glances at everyone, then leans over to Darren in a low voice:)_ Uh--bro? What was that you were going to say to everyone after mom got off the phone?

DARREN: _(Hesitates, then in the same voice:)_ Uh, it can keep until _later_, sis. _(Eats while Daria cocks a slightly inquisitive eyebrow at Darren)_

The rest of the dinner actually went quietly. Darren resolved to himself to keep the secret at least a little while longer, perhaps just before he returned to the mansion. Now was _not_ the time to tell them who he really was, _no way, no how._

_(Scene changes to the Pizza King, the next day)_

Daria came into the restaurant with her book _"In Cold Blood"_. She had slipped out of the house about ten minutes early, per her brother's instructions, and told her parents that she was going to the library. Throughout the morning, she had tried to _ask_ him on the side what exactly was he up to, but Darren only told her each time to be at the Pizza King about 1:50 this afternoon, and she'd find out. Daria knew, however, that Quinn was going to be in the _middle_ of it, and learn some sort of "lesson". That thought somehow _pacified_ her. She suspected something _humiliating_, and to miss out on her sister's pending embarassment would be something she would _never_ forgive herself for--about the only thing missing was _Jane_, and that problem would be addressed by the end of the week. Immediately she saw Sandi, Tiffany, and Stacy sitting in a booth talking and giggling. Daria rolled her eyes, and started to go to a booth on the far end near the rear when Sandi spotted her.

SANDI: _(Raises her voice to get Daria's attention:) Hellooo_, like, Quinn's _cousin_, or whatever. Could you like, come over here or something? We'd like to talk to you.

DARIA: _(After walking over to the Fashion Club, deadpan:)_ Aren't you all afraid I'm gonna _contaminate_ your space if I come too _close_ to you?

TIFFANY: _(Slowly shakes her head in disgust:) Ewww....contam.... contamin....ewwww!_

SANDI: _(Looks suspiciously at Daria:)_ Is that, like, some sort of _joke_, or something?

DARIA: You mean, you actually _got_ it? _(Pauses:)_ Look, what do you want?

SANDI: We want to know if you know what Quinn's _gift_ is. _(Looks around at the other members of the Fashion Club:)_ We've been, like, um--confer--conferr--

DARIA: _--Conferring?_

SANDI: Yes, like, since you _live_ with her, we thought you might know.

DARIA: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ Don't tell me you're _worried_ that her gift might affect your _standing_ in the Fashion Club?

SANDI: _(Looks flustered, defensive:)_ I thought of _no_ such thing! We were like, just curious, that's all, _Quinn's cousin. (Daria frowns slightly)_

DARIA: Look, the least you can do is get it _right_--it's _Daria_, and I don't know what sort of gift she's going to show you. _(Glances at the window and sees Darren's car parking at the curb:)_ All I can say is that she's really _excited_ for you all to see it. I've gotta go on now--excuse me. _(Leaves quickly to the booth on the far end)_

SANDI: _(Perturbed, looks after Daria, frowns:) Well_! She like, _brushed_ us off, or something!

STACY: Maybe she was in a hurry to _really_ do something, Sandi. _(Sandi gives Stacy "The Glare":) Eep_!

SANDI: _Staaacy_--if she had to _do_ something, she would, like, _not_ be here unless she was waiting for _someone. (Smirks:)_ Like, who would be wanting to pick up _"loser" girl_ there? _Upchuck_?

TIFFANY: _(Ever the "yes-woman" mode:)_ Good...one...Sandi.

SANDI: _(Smug:)_ I _know_.

Darren and Quinn got out of the car. Quinn was wearing a new pink silk blouse she had brought at _Cashman's_ with her regular jeans. As soon as Darren had gotten out of the car, Quinn walked over to her brother and hooked her arm with his, smirking. Sandi was going to get the _surprise_ of her life.

DARREN: _(Smiles at Quinn, faux:)_ Gee, I only hope your Fashion Club friends will _like_ me, Quinn.

QUINN: _(Grins:)_ Oh, I'm _sure_ they'll like you, bro. _(Smirks:) Trust me_--they'll like you.

The two came into the Pizza King, and Quinn looked around and saw the Fashion Club in a booth located in a middle of a row of booths beside a wall. She did not see Daria, who was carefully keeping herself hidden in the booth at the end, watching and privately wondering what her brother was going to do. Quinn smirked at the Fashion Club, and practically _pulled_ Darren along with her to meet them. Apparently, the Fashion Club was talking about--what else--_fashion_. Quinn and Darren came upon them, and Quinn promptly spoke.

QUINN: _(Smugly:) Hiii_, guys!

SANDI: _(Sounding annoyed, rolls her eyes:) Hello_, Quinn. I see you're _late_, and--_(sees Darren, becomes speechless, mouth wide-open:) --um--ah--wh--who--_

STACY: _(Mouth agape, looks at Darren:) Wow_! Who--who--

TIFFANY: _(Simply just looks, stunned, doesn't say a word, which is just as well)_

QUINN: _(Smirks, thought v.o.: Got 'em, now--hello, presidentcy.)_ I'd like to show you all my _"gift"_.

DARREN: _(Feels ill for acting like this, but talks like a debonair "loverboy":)_ Hello, ladies. _(The Fashion Club girls, even Sandi, giggle:)_ My name's Darren. _(Looks at Quinn:)_ Why, Quinn--you didn't tell me you had such _lovely_ friends. _(Quinn gives a sinister smirk, Darren looks back at the Fashion Club:)_ Now, who's who?

SANDI: _(Speaks before the others can, blushing and tries to sound nonchalant:)_ I'm like, _Sandi Griffin_--president of the Fashion Club. _(Gets up and extends her hand, which is trembling)_

DARREN: _(Smiles, gently takes her hand and kisses it:) Charmed. (Sandi's eyes go wide, and she looks as if she's going to faint, puts her hands on her chest, sits reluctantly down)_

STACY: _(Jumps up from the booth and stands in front of a flinching Darren:) I'm Stacy Rowe_--the secretary! _(Extends her hand like Sandi does, and Darren does the same thing as he did with Sandi. Stacy looks at where Darren kissed her hand, and wobbles back down to her seat)_

TIFFANY: _(Still speechless, simply struggles to get up, and nervously puts out her hand for Darren to kiss, which he does. She looks at it, blushing:) Wooow....(sits back down)_

DARREN: And I uh, guess you're _Tiffany Blum-deckler. (Tiffany simply nods slowly at Darren, stunned and blushing, while Darren looks at Quinn:)_ Quinn, your friends want to know about me as your _"gift". (Pauses:) I'd_ like to do the honor of telling them, okay?

QUINN: _(Looks at Darren for a moment, ponders:)_ Um, okay.

DARREN: _(Looks at the dreamy faces of the Fashion Club, then announcing loud enough for Daria to hear:)_ I'm Quinn's _cousin_--Daria is my long lost _sister. (Quinn's eyes go as wide as they've ever been, and her mouth drops in disbelief, interestingly, the same thing happens to Daria as she overhears)_

SANDI: _(Shocked with the others:) You're_ Daria's brother?

DARREN: _(Proud look on his face:)_ Yes, I am. She and I are _re-connecting_ with our _lost_ past. If you wish, I'd like to explain how we _found_ each other. _(Quinn turns furious, is about to say something when Stacy makes her move)_

STACY: _(Shoots up again, hooks her arm under Darren's:)_ Oh, _yes_, please! _(Pulls, almost jerks him down beside her. Stacy sits on the outside, while Darren is pushed to the inside. Sandi and Tiffany, who are sitting across the booth from both of them facing the rear, are clearly looking jealous. Stacy still has her arm hooked under Darren's, and is staring dreamily at him, practically leaning on him, while Quinn glares at them, then sits down beside Sandi and Tiffany fuming)_

Daria turned back into her booth, smirking widely. She couldn't believe her ears. Darren had _destroyed_ Quinn's plan, Daria suspected, to possibly take over the Fashion Club. Daria _had_ to admit it was _brilliant--damned_ brilliant, worthy of Daria's rare _respect_. Quinn had asked Darren to promise not to tell the Fashion Club that Daria was _her_ sister, and he complied by saying Daria was _his_ sister--a sister he was _proud_ of. Of course, Daria knew Quinn would be _PO'd_ at Darren, but so _what_? She'd be _angry_ at him for awhile, then would _have_ to get over it. After all, this was the person who said he could get her into an internship at Circa, something Quinn could only _dream_ of. He also said he'd help her with her studies to get in the Fashion Institute. Quinn, she knew, was _smarter_ than she let on--she wouldn't _dare_ bite the hand that helped to feed her. Daria resumed reading her book, deciding to wait for a little while until she'd leave, but with her Mona Lisa smile in full force--for a moment. Daria began to feel the need for--_relief_. A trip to the restroom was in order.

Quinn sat beside Sandi, glaring across at her brother, deep in something she rarely did, save for fashion, boys, and math problems--_thought_. Her own brother had _betrayed_ her! The question was _why_? Why would he do such a thing? She looked at her Fashion Club cohorts. Sandi, her fiercest competitor, was _mesmerized_ by her brother's looks, head resting in her hands, listening to the adoption story--Quinn had _never_ seen her like that before. Tiffany, the same. Stacy stared at Darren with a _glazed_ look in her eyes, still with her arm hooked around his. _Damn it, it wasn't fair! She was **so** close_! Her eyes wondered around the restaurant to get her mind off this fiasco, and saw _something_ that seemed to make all the missing pieces _fit--Daria_ had slid out of a booth at the rear of the restaurant, apparently going to the restroom in the rear.

_(Note to reader: The "math problems" dig comes from Kara Wild's fanfic "Of Absolute Value" --geez, **another** fanfic reference of her fics?)_

It all hit Quinn like a ton of _bricks_. Daria must've _heard_ Darren offer Quinn money for her to shop at _Cashman's_, and had _confronted_ him. Daria probably told Darren that if he didn't tell the Fashion Club that Daria was his _sister_, she'd have to tell their _parents_, who'd probably be angry at, and then would _punish_ Quinn for trying to take _advantage_ of Darren--despite the fact that _Darren_ was the one who had offered Quinn the money. Daria had _refused_ to go along with saying Darren was her cousin--what better way to get _back_ at Quinn with this _horrible_ twist of fate, also by making _sure_ Darren would keep _his_ end of the bargain by coming down here to see the _carnage_ for herself--how _low_ could Daria get? _Damn it, Daria wasn't going to get away with it--confrontation time_. She slid out of the booth and got up.

QUINN: _(In her singy-songy voice:)_ Uh, will you excuse me, guys? I'm gonna go and check my, um, _make-up. (Darren cocks an eye at Quinn, who looks at him with a neutral look on her face)_

SANDI: _(Waves off her hand at Quinn quickly, while still looking dreamily at Darren:)_ Like, sure, Quinn--take your _time_, or whatever. _(Quinn leaves for the rear)_

Daria had just stepped out of a stall when she saw Quinn coming into the restroom with a look of pure _rage_, glaring at Daria icily, her hands tightly balled up in fists. Daria, of course, was expressionless and unfazed.

QUINN: I hope you're _damn_ happy, Daria!

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ I've _relieved_ myself. Why _shouldn't_ I be happy? _(Goes to the sink to wash her hands)_

QUINN: _(Shakes her head violently and closes her eyes:)_ That's _not_ what I'm talking about, Daria, and you _know_ it! Of all the things you've done to _me_, this _tops_ them all!

DARIA: _(Still deadpan while wiping her hands with the paper towels:)_ Quinn, what in the _hell_ are you talking about?

QUINN: _DARREN_, Daria! I'm talking about Darren! _How_ could you _do_ that to me?! _Telling_ him to say that _I'm_ his cousin! Do you have _any_ idea of how _humiliating_ that felt when he called me that?

DARIA: _(Frowns slightly:)_ Oh, I have an _idea_ of how it felt, Quinn--_lots_ of times have I had _that_ idea.

QUINN: _(Considers what Daria has said, it finally hits her:) Hey_! You didn't seem to mind it when I _paid_ you to be my cousin! _(Daria rolls her eyes)_

DARIA: Maybe I've gotten _tired_ of the "cousin" thing because of _Darren_ being here now--

QUINN: _(Cuts her off, points at Daria:) --AHA_! You _admit_ to putting Darren _up_ to it, didn't you? You found out he gave me some money, and because he didn't want me to get in _trouble_ with mom and dad for taking advantage of him, he _had_ to say _I_ was his cousin, and _you_ were his _sister_!

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ Let me get this _straight_--you think _I_ put Darren up to this so I wouldn't tell mom and dad about some money he gave you? Quinn, even for _you_, this is _outside_ of reality. _Newsflash_--Darren came to _me_ and said he wanted to teach you a _"lesson"_ about your wanting to say that I was your "cousin". He asked me to come _ahead_ of him here--remember, I told mom and dad I was going to the _library_--which, of course I didn't, since I'm here--and I sat in the last booth in the rear, and heard the rather _delightful_, and I must say, _ironic_ thing our bro said. _(Quinn frowns, while Daria smirks)_ It's _true_ that I _overheard_ you two talking in his room, but I only heard the part about him saying he'd go _along_ with you telling your fellow Fashion Club _dimwits_ that I wasn't your sister, _period_. I felt--_(pauses:) hurt_ when I heard him say that, so I went to my room, where he then came to me and _hinted_ to me his plan about teaching you a "lesson". Your little financial _transaction_ must've taken place _after_ I left. _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ So how much did you _weasel_ out of him?

Quinn glared at Daria for a moment, taking in all she said, then she abruptly turned around and left the restroom. Daria raised both eyebrows in mild surprise, half-expecting her to say something more.

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: Whoa--what brought that about?) (Throws towel in can, leaves restroom)_

Darren had finished telling his story to the now-crying members of the Fashion Club _(mascara running even)_, when he saw Quinn quickly walking out of the rear with a _stone-cold_ look on her face. She did not _acknowledge_ Darren or the Fashion Club as she walked by. Darren looked after her, trying to get her attention. Daria started to come out from the rear.

DARREN: Quinn? _(Pauses, no response, because Quinn keeps walking, and goes right out the Pizza King)_ Quinn, wait!

SANDI: _(Wipes her eyes, looks after Quinn:)_ Like, what's _wrong_ with Quinn? We were going to talk about the newest styles of _sequin_ clothing! _(Looks at a still-entranced Stacy, who is still dreamily staring at Darren:) Staaacy_! I want you to mark down Quinn as _"absent"_ for this meeting! What Quinn has done was like, _uncalled_ for!

STACY: _(Snaps out of her trance:)_ Huh? Oh, um, maybe Quinn had a fashion _emergency_, Sandi!

SANDI: _(Not buying it:) Staaacy_--if that were _true_, she'd _tell_ us. Something is _obviously_ bothering her!

DARREN: _(Slides Stacy gently out of the way, much like he did Brittany:)_ Ah, would you please excuse me? I've got to talk to my, er--_cousin_ about whatever's bothering her. Nice to meet you all--perhaps we'll see each other again. _(Gently grabs Daria's arm:)_ Come on, _sis. (Leaves in a hurry, pulling Daria with him)_

SANDI: _(Shouts after Darren:)_ Like, sure, Darren--nice to meet you! _(Thought v.o.: Oh, I'm sure I'll see you again, Darren--count on it.) (Gets a scheming look on her face, then sees Tiffany and Stacy looking after Darren with the same look as well, becomes suspicous:) Tiiiffany_! _Staaaacy_! What are you like, _thinking_ about?

TIFFANY: _(Searches for words:) Nothing_....Sandi....nothing....at....all!

STACY: _(Searches for words, looks around, panicked:) Nothing_, Sandi! I was--just--_excited_ about the newest issue of _Waif_! _(Quickly pulls out the Fashion Club's fashion "bible":) See_? _(Laughs uneasily)_

Sandi _glared_ at both Tiffany and Stacy for a moment, then curtly nodded her head.

SANDI: _(Smugly:) Very_ well. Let's start the meeting...

Quinn practically speed-walked down the sidewalk, frowning, with her hands balled into fists. Darren chased her down, with Daria _sauntering_ up behind them.

DARREN: _(Cuts in front of Quinn:)_ Wait, Quinn! Let me--

QUINN: _(Cuts him off, her anger turning into hurt, begins to cry:) Leave_ me alone, Darren! Haven't you done enough to _humiliate_ me?

DARREN: _(Tries to put his hand on her shoulder, which Quinn slaps away:)_ Quinn, _please_--

QUINN: --"Please" what? _"Let me embarass you, again, Quinn?" "Let me see if I can twist the damn knife in further?" (Looks at Daria, sounding bitter:)_ Looks like you _win_, sis. Congratulations--he's _your_ brother, now! _(Brushes past Darren)_

DARREN: Quinn, I--_(Daria grabs his arm:)_ Daria, let me go!

DARIA: Let her cool down, bro--you can talk to her at home.

DARREN: _(Still worried, looks back at Quinn, then Daria:)_ Are you _sure_?--

DARIA: I'm sure, Darren--c'mon. _(Leads Darren, who's looking back at Quinn)_

Darren and Daria went back home to wait for Quinn. During the next hour, Helen was busy finalizing plans for her mother, sisters and mother-in-law's visit, and Jake was fixing his _infamous_ "Kitchen Sink" stew. (By which Darren was privately ever so _grateful_ for the change in food--something Daria would have to _straighten_ him out on concerning Jake's food) When Helen asked Darren where Quinn was, Daria, before Darren could say anything, merely said that Quinn was out with her Fashion Club friends, and she'd be home later. Helen then talked about the pending visit, excitedly.

HELEN: _(Looking down at her list:)_ Let's see, we have a caterer bringing in the food--meatballs, bread rolls, tossed salad, chicken wings, macaroni and cheese--

DARIA: _(Deadpan:) --Arsenic, strychnine, cyanide--_

HELEN: _(Continuing on, not hearing her:)_ --and for dessert, banana pudding! _(Looks up at both Daria and Darren:)_ Am I _missing_ something?

DARIA: _(Looks up in mock thought:)_ Let's see now--the _riot-control_ squad?

HELEN: _(Glares at Daria:)_ That'll be _enough_ out of you, young lady. I want you on your _best_ behavior when your grandmas and aunts come tomorrow morning--your aunt _Amy_ even agreed to be _with_ them when they come over form the _Stopover Motel_--you know, to show your grandma Evelyn and your aunt Rita the way here.

DARIA: _(Surprised:) Aunt Amy_? Don't tell me you guys somehow or another _hypnotized_ her into doing that? _(Darren, though still worried about Quinn, manages to give out a little chuckle to Daria's crack)_

HELEN: _(Annoyed with Daria:)_ Very _amusing_, Daria. We all are a _little_ closer since we got together from our _talk_ when we last visited your grandma Evelyn, although we still are working to _understand_ each other better--

DARIA: --Mom, _federal labor negotiators_ couldn't breach _that_ gap--_(Darren tries not to laugh)_

HELEN: _(Frowns now:)_ Daria, that's _enough_! _(Looks at Darren, who quickly controls his laugh:)_ Darren, you seem to be awfully _quiet_.

DARREN: _(Searches for words, glances at Daria:)_ Oh, no--I just was--_thinking_ about tomorrow. I'm hoping I can make a _good_ impression, that's all.

HELEN: _(Goes over to her son, squeezes him:)_ Oh, Darren--you'll do _fine_ with your grandmas and aunts! They'll _love_ you, and _welcome_ you into the _family_--

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ --Where you'll be _assimilated--(Helen gives Daria "The Look", Daria gets the message, while Darren tries not to laugh again:)_ and I'll be in my room reading--_"hasta la vista". (Leaves)_

DARREN: Do you need any _help_ with the _bill--(Daria's about to go up the stairs when she hears this, cocks an eyebrow, thinks for a moment, then goes upstairs)_

HELEN: _(Cuts him off:)_ --Absolutely _not_, Darren! You need to _save_ your money for Eastward! _(Lowers voice:)_ Jake and I have been talking about well--_helping_ you finan--

DARREN: _(Not its his turn to cut her off:)_ --Oh no, I'm _fine_, really, thanks. My--(adopted) parents left me _enough_ money to get by, so it's okay. _(Changes subject, claps and rubs hands, looks around:)_ So, do you need anything to be done around the house, you know, like the _dishes_ or something, to put them in the dishwasher?

HELEN: _(Looks at her son lovingly:)_ Oh, how _sweet. (Hugs him:)_ No, sweetie, it's okay, everything's taken care of--you've done _more_ than your share around here by helping out with the yard and housework and such. Why don't you go up to your room and relax until dinner?

DARREN: Uh, sure. _(Goes upstairs, while Helen adoringly watches him go)_

HELEN: _(Sighs, thought v.o.: His--**parents** raised him well. I wonder when he'll tell us **about** them? What were they like? We don't want to pressure him to talk about them. I hope he lets Jake and me into his life--he seems to be getting along well with Daria and Quinn.)_

Helen smiled at the thought--maybe tomorrow will go off without a _hitch_--one could only hope. She was about to check at the office out of habit when Jake called.

JAKE: _AGH_! HELEN, I BURNED MY TOUNGE! GET ME SOME ICE, PLEASE!

HELEN: _(Rolls her eyes, sighs:)_ Oh, for the love of--coming, Jake! I'm coming! (Goes into kitchen)

Darren walked to his room and was about to go in when Daria motioned to him to come into her room, which he complied to.

DARIA: Darren, I meant to ask you about something concerning _money_--

DARREN: _(Slightly alarmed, but not trying to show it, sits down at Daria's computer:)_ Eh--what, Daria?

DARIA: Quinn said that you _gave_ her some money. She thought I had _blackmailed_ you into telling her Fashion Club "friends" that I, and not she, was your sister. _(Pauses:)_ Um--_how_ much did you give to her?

DARREN: _(Slightly relaxed:)_ Ah, _only_ $50 to buy her something at that _Cashman's_ place--I guess in a _twisted_ way, I wanted her to look her best when I pulled off that _boneheaded_ stunt. _(Looks grim)_

DARIA: _(Raises eyebrows:) "Boneheaded"_? I thought it was _brilliant_ what you did to her. _(Hesitates:)_ Don't tell me you _wanted_ to say _she_ was your sister?

DARREN: _(Looks directly at Daria, in a serious tone:) No_, of course not. I told you I was _proud_ that you were my sister, and I _meant_ it, Daria. _(Daria gives a quick smile)_ I just wished I could've handled this situation _better_, that's all. Both you and Quinn, well, are beginning to mean a _lot_ to me. _(Daria looks stunned, blushes slightly)_ I've been an _only_ child, and I wondered what it would be like to have a brother or sister--

Quinn, who had come into the house and had _slipped_ by her parents, something that she _rarely_ did, save for avoiding them when she came in _late_ at night from her dates, was in no particular mood to talk to them--or anyone _else_, for that matter. She had gone up to her room and was about to go in, when she had heard Darren talk to Daria in Daria's room. She narrowed her eyes and went to listen at Daria's door, figuring that _turnabout_ was fair play. She guessed they were having a good _laugh_ at her expense, and she might as well find out how Daria and _Daria's_ brother Darren were getting along, though she wondered why she'd allow herself to be _tortured_ like this all over again. She came along at the time Darren said that _both_ she and Daria were beginning to mean a lot to him. Stunned, Quinn _blushed_ when she heard that, and listened intently for more.

DARREN: _(Quietly:)_ --and I wanted for all of us to get _along_, you, me, and Quinn. I guess I've _pushed_ Quinn away for _good. (Quinn looks a little heartbroken at this remark)_

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ Listen, bro--Quinn will be _okay_. She'll _forgive_ you. Hey, _I've_ done things to her that makes what you did seem _tame_ by comparison--remind me to tell you later. _(Quinn smirks at this)_ Just give her some time, and she'll come around. _(Pauses:)_ Quinn isn't all _that_ bad, you know. _(Quinn is stunned to hear that remark from Daria)_ You keep that to _yourself_, bro. _(Darren nods, smirks)_ She just doesn't seem to take life all that seriously when it comes to her future. _(Quinn frowns slightly)_

DARREN: _(Gets up, frustrated:)_ I wish she'll _let_ me help her with her future, and let me apologize. I just didn't want my sisters to be at each other's _throats_ with me being in the middle. _(Quinn becomes thoughtful on this)_ I'm not trying to _change_ you and Quinn, Daria, really, I'm not. It's just that high school lasts only _four_ years, and then afterwards it's college. You two won't be living with each other again, and you'll soon be out in the world. Based on what I've seen of you two, you probably _won't_ miss that, _(Daria smirks and nods)_ but _I_ will. I've missed out on being there for _both_ of you, though _obviously_ it was no fault of my own. _(Daria grows solemn behind her expressionless face, while outside the door, Quinn looks down sadly, looks as she wants to cry)_ I wanted us in the short time we have with each other to be _siblings. (Sighs, looks away:)_ See you at dinner, sis. _(Daria looks as if she's going to say something as Darren reaches for the door. As he opens it, Quinn, who was so immersed in what Darren has said, falls inside the door and into a surprised Darren's arms. She is beet red.)_

QUINN: _(Sheepish look:)_ Uh, _hi_ guys.

DARIA: _(Deadpan, smirks:)_ More _insects_, sis? Don't tell me you're _"falling"_ for Darren, again? _(Quinn glares at Daria)_

DARREN: _(Delighted, smiles, too excited to respond to Daria's little running inside joke with Quinn:) Quinn_! _(Hugs her:)_ Look, I'm _really_ sorry about what happened--

QUINN: _(Giggles, enjoys her brother's attention:)_ --It's okay, bro--_really_!

DARREN: _(Concerned:) Where_ did you go? I was really worried you'd done something _foolish_ in your emotional state.

QUINN: _(Waves him off:) Nahhh_--I just went to _Cashman's_ to try on some _expensive_ clothes--it helps me to relax and stuff--

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ --You _did_ do something foolish. _(Quinn glares at her again, this time sticking out her tounge at Daria)_

QUINN: Anyway, after I cooled off, I came back here, and um--_eavesdropped_--

DARIA: --_Listened to_--

QUINN: _(Narrows her eyes at Daria:)_ --to your talk. Look, Darren, what's done is _done. (Sighs:)_ I guess I'm your _"cousin"_ in front of the Fashion Club's eyes. _(Darren looks stunned, and Daria rolls her eyes)_

DARREN: _W-what_? I don't _get_ it, Quinn--why don't you want to tell them the _truth_? _(Thought v.o.: Of course, **I'm** one to talk.)_

QUINN: Darren, my _popularity_ and _fashion sense_ mean _everything_ to me--I told you that! If the Fashion Club finds out Daria and I are _sisters_, I'll be kicked out!

DARREN: _(Looks at Quinn incredulously:)_ B-But--

QUINN: _(Looks up at Darren sadly, hooks her arm around his:)_ Bro, _pleeease_ just pretend you're my _cousin_ in front of the Fashion Club? You can _still_ be my brother when they're _not_ around! _(Darren stares at Quinn as if she has lost her mind)_

DARREN: _(Looks over to Daria, who simply shrugs, then back at a pleading Quinn, and weakly responds:)_ Okay, sis, if that's what you _really_ want--

QUINN: _(Excited, hugs Darren:)_ Thanks, Darren! You're the _best_ brother in the whole world! _(Leaves, starts to go into her room, but stops and looks at her brother with a rare sincere look on her face:)_ Don't worry, bro--I'm gonna get _serious_ about my books 'n stuff for my junior year. _(Pauses, while Daria's eyes are slightly wide-eyed in surprise:)_ I know you're only tryin' to _help_ me. _(Winks at him, leaves)_

Darren stared after Quinn for a moment, his mouth slightly agape. He looked back at Daria, slowly shaking his head.

DARREN: I just don't _get_ her. Everything's just _reversed_ now about the _"cousin"_ thing.

DARIA: _(Smirks:) Now_ you're beginning to understand what I have sometimes called the _"Morgendorffer Mystique"_--the pure, absolute, unadulterated, _lunacy_ that surrounds our family. You'd best _prepare_ for the oncoming _onslaught_ tomorrow, bro--I'll do what I can to _help_ you through it. _(Darren looks at Daria wide-eyed, then takes a deep breath)_

DARREN: _(Rubs his temples, thought v.o.: Tomorrow's going to be a **looong** day...)_


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 - "F-Day"

Darren woke up out of his bed in the early morning, stretching his arms. He suddenly _flinched_, quickly looking around for _Jake_. Darren then let out a deep breath, relieved that he wasn't there, for Jake had been sitting beside his bed watching him on and off since Darren first came to the Morgendorffers. Eventually, he'd have to say something to him about that, but he still didn't have the _heart_ to do it just yet. Obviously, the man wanted to just _look_ at the son he had thought he lost all those years ago, and was trying to somehow make up the time. Darren sighed and got out of bed, stretching his legs and arms, loosening himself up for his regular morning jog.

As Darren started stretching with his dumbells, he thought about the upcoming meeting with his grandmothers and aunts, and how he'd react to them. Helen said they came to the _Stopover Motel_ late last night, and had stayed in four rooms--his grandma Ruth in a room completely on the other side of the motel from the others, his grandma Evelyn and aunt Rita in another room, his cousin Erin and her husband, Brian, and finally, the illustrious _aunt Amy_ in her own room. For some reason, Darren found himself looking forward to meeting her the _most_. If someone like the _cynical_ Daria could admire this woman, then he'd want to find out for _himself_ what she was like. Darren put on his jogging paraphernalia and went outside for a quicker-than-usual jog--there was _no_ way he'd want to miss any of them coming over.

_(Scene changes to a bedroom, Los Angeles, about the same time--you can imagine it's pretty early in the morning there)_

As the phone kept ringing, an arm came out from under the sheets. The hand on the end of it kept grasping to find and _silence_ the noise the infernal device was making, finally making contact. It quickly seized it, and turned it on. The phone then was pulled to the ear of the tired-looking man that was _Gerald Woo_.

WOO: Mmmhello?

VOICE: Woo--it's _David_. Did I _wake_ you?

WOO: _(Looks at the alarm clock:) No_, David, you _didn't_ wake me--I _always_ sit here in the early morning _waiting_ for someone to call me--sleep isn't all _that_ important. Why in the _hell_ are you calling me _now_? The Snell case was _solved_! You did a _great_ job! _(Narrows eyes:)_ Are you _trying_ to get me to _fire_ you?

DAVID: Woo, this isn't about the Snell case--I couldn't sleep, because I was so _excited_ about the _Appleton_ case--possibly our most _lucrative_ one--so I decided to come down to the office to look in our files and get a head start on investigating that jet crash, and--

WOO: _(Rolls his eyes, cuts David off:)_ --David, I've _already_ talked to Darren Appleton about the investigation. The NTSB hasn't found anything out of the ordinary yet--

DAVID: --because the NTSB had investigated that the jet had maintenance at La Guardia International before going out towards Denver that night. They only made a _scant_ check when the jet had been in Los Angeles only a day _before_ going to La Guardia--

WOO: _(Annoyed, lying on the bed, looks up at the ceiling:)_ --yes, I _know_ that--what is your _point_?

DAVID: My point is, I decided to look a little _more_ into the jet's maintenance at Los Angeles International, and I found something _very_ interesting--there was a list of people who had worked on that jet's fuel line. On that list was a _"Juan Lopez"_--only I found out that Mr. "Lopez" had _quit_ his job the _same_ day after the jet took off for New York City. I kind of thought that was _strange_ because, get this--Mr. "Lopez" had just been on the job for only _three_ days, and he had done _nothing_ to get fired.

WOO: _(Considers, sits up in his bed:)_ So, a guy who had helped worked on the Appleton jet's fuel line, considered to be the _main_ cause of that crash, had come on for only _three_ days, and had left afterwards, even though his boss said that this "Lopez" guy had done _nothing_ to get fired? _(Pauses:)_ Seems kind of suspicious I must admit, but it could still just be a _coincidence_, David--

DAVID: _(Sounding smug:)_ --Even if I told you that "Lopez" really _isn't_ this guy's name?

WOO: _(Now fully awake, stunned:) WHAT_?

DAVID: Yep. I looked at this guy's I.D. work badge picture, and on a hunch, checked it with the computer _criminal profile picture database_ I _hacked_ into at the L.A.P.D. Seems this "Lopez" is really a fellow named _Julio Sanchez_. He's got a rap sheet a _mile_ long. Extortion, racketeering, aggravated assault, larceny, and _(sounding sarcastic:) no_ maintenance experience on working on jet planes, but--

WOO: _(Gets out of his bed, clad in white pajamas:) --Possibly_ a hired _killer_? _(Grins:) Excellent_ work, David! I'm going to change and meet you down there. We'll see if we can _locate_ Mr. Sanchez and ask him some questions as to _who_ may have hired him to sabotage the Appleton's jet and cause it to crash.

DAVID: _(Sounding confused:)_ Er, Woo--shouldn't we take this information to the _police_?

WOO: _(Curt:) No_. Despite your work, all we have here is _circumstantial evidence_--still not enough to go on. Besides, telling the police could _alert_ whoever did this and put them on their _guard_. I'm thinking that the person or persons who did this had a motive to _eliminate_ the Appletons--getting the conglomerate. These people could be some _seriously_ powerful folks with a lot of _influence_--also, Sanchez _himself_ could be put in _danger_ if the person or persons found out what was going on. They'd want to _silence_ him to _cover_ their tracks, and we'll need Sanchez _alive_ to point the finger.

DAVID: _(Sounding shocked:)_ But then, _what_ do we do? Just _sit_ on the evidence, circumstantial, or not?

WOO: _(Gets some clothes out of his dresser, holds the phone to his head with his shoulder:)_ No, of _course_ not. Like I said, we'll locate Sanchez and then we'll get the answers we're looking for, you know, like how he did it, and who hired him. I think he'll tell us because when he sees the _"cicumstantial"_ evidence, he sure as hell won't want to go down _alone_.

DAVID: But he could be _out_ of the _country_!

WOO: Then _we'll_ go out of the country to _get_ him.

DAVID: _(Hesitates:)_ Woo, do you think _Darren Appleton--_

WOO: _(Cuts him off:)_ --Don't even _go_ there, David. Why _kill_ your parents, and then _not_ take over the business? I _know_ what you're thinking--_"Maybe to throw off suspicion?"_ Look, you know how I am when it comes to _knowing_ my clients. I worked _with_ that young man. He was in _pain. Real_ pain. He couldn't kill his parents anymore than I could kill _you_. Besides, why hire _us_ to investigate what happened, only to point the finger at _himself_? Nope, _not_ Darren Appleton.

DAVID: _(Pauses, considers:) Millie Appleton_?

WOO: _(Rolls his eyes while setting up his ironing board:) Please_. Millie Appleton was _crazy_ about her brother and sister-in-law. Yeah, she's in _Europe_, but she's planning on coming back, and she's been known to have _little_ interest in the conglomerate's inner workings. _(Puts shirt on board, plugs up iron)_ Nope, _not_ Millie Appleton.

DAVID: Um, _William Appleton_?

WOO: _(Silent for a moment, frowns, perplexed:) Possibly_, but he was chosen by _Darren Appleton_ to run the company. If he had a _motive_, then he would've known he was _next_ in power to take over, and then he would've _promptly_ had his brother and sister-in-law killed. _(Pauses, voice grows low:)_ That doesn't mean he might've _not_ had a hand in this--someone on the _Board of Directors_ or a group of stockholders could've _joined_ William Appleton, though it would seem _inconceivable_ to me that he'd conspire to kill his own _brother_ and _sister-in-law. (Voice then becomes serious:)_ We'll have to check out this Sanchez's old _hangouts_. Get on it.

DAVID: Will do--_(pauses:)_ er, Woo?

WOO: _(While ironing:)_ Yes?

DAVID: Would you mind bringing in some _breakfast_ when you come in? I'm kind of hungry.

WOO: _(Smiles:)_ Sure--I _guess_ you've earned it. See you then. _(Hangs up, thought v.o.: I'll call Darren later and tell him what was discovered--I think he told me when we last talked that he's got his extended family coming in today--best wait until he's had them over--) (Pauses, frowns, continued thought v.o.: --and maybe hold off telling Darren about my wondering on whether or not saying his **uncle** is a suspect--no telling what could happen if Darren or his uncle would do if they knew that.)_

_(Scene goes back to the Morgendorffer home, an hour later)_

Darren and the Morgendorffers were preparing for the impending arrival of grandma Morgendorffer and the Barksdales/Danielsons. Quinn was primping herself in front of her mirror when Daria walked by Quinn's open door and noticed her.

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ Fix yourself up _anymore_, and you'll be set for going _100,000 miles_ before you need a _tune-up_.

QUINN: _(Glares at Daria in the mirror:) Look_, Daria, just because _you_ don't care about _your_ appearance, don't go an' try to make fun of _mine_, okay? _(Goes back to looking in her mirror:)_ I want my grandmas an' aunts to see me at my _best_--

DARIA: --At _manipulating_ their _attention--(pauses, realizes something, smirks:)_ hey, wait a minute--_Darren's_ gonna get their attention. Is _that_ why you're taking even _more_ time in getting ready than _usual_, sis? You don't want them to _forget_ you?

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes:) Pleeease_, Daria! Like I said, I was just _trying_ to look my best! _(Annoyed:)_ Now if you don't _mind_, I've gotta finish my _makeover_! _(Walks over, shuts her door in Daria's face)_

DARIA: _(Smirks, thought v.o.: You need a "makeover" all right, sis--someone to **make over** you all the time.) (Goes to Darren's room, knocks:)_ Big Bro, are you about ready to face that sweet, sweet _music_?

DARREN: _(Now showered and dressed in a brown short-sleeved Dockers shirt and those long Dockers shorts that go down to the shins, opens door, grins:) Tah-dah_! How do I look, sis?

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ Like a lamb going to the _slaughter_, bro. _(Small smile)_

DARREN: _(Sounding a "little" disappointed:)_ Um, yeah. _(Takes a deep breath, closes eyes for a moment:)_ Chin up, chin out, hop to it. _(Hesitates for a moment, then decides to extend an elbow to Daria:)_ Shall we proceed, Daria?

DARIA: _(Raised eyebrow, looks at his arm, shrugs:)_ Ah, what the _hell. (Hooks her arm with his:)_ Lead on, bro. _(Both start to go downstairs when Quinn comes out of her room)_

QUINN: _(Frowns slightly when she sees Daria's arm hooked with Darren's:) Hey_! What about _me_?

DARIA: It's _always_ about _Quinn_, isn't it? _(Darren chuckles slightly while Quinn gives a quick glare at Daria)_

DARREN: _(Extends his other elbow, smirks:)_ There's always room for one more, sis.

QUINN: _(Faux smug:)_ That's _better. (Hooks her arm with Darren's, and they all go downstairs)_

Helen and Jake were already downstairs and had cleaned up after the family had breakfast. Helen was looking outside through the front window apprehensively, while Jake was finishing the morning edition of the paper, sitting on the middle couch. He looked up and saw his son and two daughters coming down the stairs, arm-in-arm. Jake _grinned_ at the sight.

JAKE: _Awww_--isn't that _cute_? _(Looks over at Helen, who's still looking out of the window:)_ Hey, Helen! You gotta see _this_! Where's the _camera_? _(Looks around)_

HELEN: _(Not bothering to respond to Jake, still looks through the window:)_ Not _now_, Jake! I'm watching for our _families_!

JAKE: _(Whiny:)_ But honey--our kids are _arm-in-arm_! Look! _(At this time, Daria, Quinn, and Darren look at each other, smirk, and unhook their arms, all the while looking innocently straight ahead. Jake is still looking at Helen, and doesn't notice what they have done) C'mon_, Helen!

HELEN: Oh, for the love of _God_, Jake--_(turns around, exasperated, sees her son and daughters looking straight ahead:)_ what in the _hell_ are you talking about, Jake? They aren't arm-in-arm! What's _wrong_ with you? _(Looks back out the front window)_

JAKE: _(Doing a double-take at his son and daughters:) Huh_? But I could've _sworn--(shakes his head as if to clear it, then shrugs and looks back in his paper)_

Darren looked curiously at Helen.

DARREN: _(Speaks to his sisters in a low voice:)_ She's sure _anxious_, isn't she?

DARIA: I think mom wants to make a _good_ impression on grandma Evelyn and aunt Rita because this is their _first_ visit to our home. Aunt Amy, cousin Erin and her brother Brian, and grandma Ruth have been here before.

_(Note to reader: As mentioned before--at least in some of the 'Daria' fanfics---Amy visited in "The Tie That Chokes", Erin and Brian in "None In The Family" [Part 2], both done by Kara Wild, and grandma Ruth's visit was on the episode "Jake Of Hearts")_

QUINN: _(Goes up beside Helen, looks out window:) God_, what's taking them so _long_ to get here?

DARIA: _(Walks up to Helen and Quinn, smirks:)_ Maybe aunt Amy's taking the _long_ way around to get here--you know, to _draw out_ grandma Evelyn and Ruth's _eagerness_ to see their grandson? _I_ would, if I were her--a _slow, arduous, tortuous process_ to get here. _(Helen and Quinn glare at Daria, then look back out the window, while Daria sits down on the far couch, picking up and reading a magazine from the coffee table. The magazine has the "Sick, Sad World" eyeball logo on it.)_

Darren walked over to Jake and sat down beside him on the couch, and noticed that Jake had the business section of the _Lawndale-Sun Herald_ clutched beneath the sports section in his hands while reading the paper.

DARREN: _(Speaks low:)_ Uh, Jake, may I see the business section, please?

JAKE: Huh? Oh, _sure_, Big Guy--_(hands him that section:)_ here ya go! _(Takes on a proud look:)_ Guess you wanna check out more on your _future_ occupation, huh?

DARREN: _(Takes paper:)_ Thanks, yes--you might say that. _(Begins to read it, sees headline in the section, then frowns. He reads a little more of the article under the business headline, then slowly rises up with a troubled look on his face.)_

JAKE: _(Notices Darren out of the corner of his eye:)_ Gosh, you sure finished reading that fast, son.

DARREN: _(Distracted:)_ Eh? Oh, yes--_fast. (Looks at the paper again as if to confirm what he read was true:)_ Will you _excuse_ me for a moment? I have to make a--(Quinn gasps, and Darren and Jake look in her direction:) eh?

QUINN: _(Looks out the window with Helen, excited:)_ They're _here_! _(Jake and Darren get up to see, but Daria keeps reading her magazine)_

HELEN: _(Perplexed frown:)_ Hmmm--I see only _one_ car, a yellow taxi. _(Becomes excited:)_ Come on, everyone--let's see who it is! _(Leaves out the front door with Quinn and Jake--Darren waits for Daria)_

DARREN: _(Raises eyebrow, smirks:)_ Coming, Daria?

DARIA: _(Shrugs, sighs, flips magazine to the side:)_ I guess--why the hell not? _(Smirks, gives Darren a sly look:)_ Now remember, you can't _sue_ me for the introductions.

DARREN: _(Laughs:)_ I'll remember. _(Goes out with Daria)_

Helen, Jake, and Quinn came out to the curb in front of the house, and saw _Ruth Morgendorffer_ get out the taxi. She was about to pay the driver when Jake gently cut her off and did it himself. He then turned to his mother.

JAKE: _(Happy:)_ Mommy! _(Hugs her)_

RUTH: Hello, Jakey. How's your _heart_?

JAKE: _(Pats his chest proudly:)_ It's _super-duper_, Mom! The doctor told me last month that I was in _great_ shape, and I'm eating _lighter_, too!

RUTH: _(Gives a kind smile to him:)_ I see. _(Looks at Helen with a droll look, gives a curt greeting:) Hello_, Helen--with the way you cooked the _last_ time I was here, I'm surprised my son could still eat _anything_ at all--

HELEN: _(Strains to remain civil, cuts her off:) --Hello_, Ruth--you're still your usual _chipper_ self, I see. _(Sees cab pull off:)_ I thought my mother and the others were supposed to be _with_ you.

RUTH: _(Shrugs her shoulders, faux surprised:)_ Oh, dear--you mean they haven't shown up yet? How _awful_! Maybe we got our _signals_ mixed up. _(Looks at Quinn:)_ And how is my _beautiful_ Quinn? _(Hugs her)_

QUINN: _(Giggles and eats it up:)_ Hi, Grandma Ruth! I'm fine!

RUTH: That's wonderful, Quinn--_(chuckles:)_ and I assume the boys keep coming at you in _waves_, dear?

QUINN: _(Looks away, becomes uneasy:)_ Um, well--

DARIA: _(Comes up with Darren, smirks:)_ --More like the waves are becoming an _undertow_, Grandma Ruth, thanks to my _bro_ here. _(Quinn frowns at Daria, while Darren looks uncomfortable)_

RUTH: _(Curious:)_ Why, what do you mean, Dar--_(sees Darren:)_ oh, my _Lord. (Walks slowly up to Darren, mouth agape, and puts her trembling hand on his chest, and then face:)_ Y-you're m-my _grandson_, dear?

DARREN: _(Looks down at his grandmother, slightly red-faced:)_ Er, yes ma'am, I am--_(pauses:) Grandma Ruth. (Suddenly gasps as Ruth hugs him tightly)_

RUTH: _(Estatic, grins, looks up into Darren's eyes, about to cry:)_ My _grandson_--and quite a _handsome_ grandson, too! _(Looks over at Jake:)_ He looks _completely_ like _you_, Jakey--but he has _my_ eyes! _(Jake's chest is puffed out from being so proud, while Helen scowls at Ruth, then at Jake, who catches it, and quickly deflates)_ Come into the house, Darren, and we can talk, young man. _(Hooks her arm with Darren's, and both go into the house, followed by Jake, Quinn, and a still-scowling Helen. Daria brings up the rear.)_

DARIA: _(Talks to herself, deadpan:) "Hello, Daria. How are you?" "Oh, I'm fine, Grandma Ruth. I'm still planning on getting some more tattoos."_ Story of my life. _(Goes into house, shuts the door)_

Just as everyone came into the house, the cell phone rang, and Helen grabbed it. In the meantime, Ruth and Darren sat down on the middle couch, Jake sat on the left couch, while Quinn and Daria sat on the right couch.

HELEN: _(In that falsetto voice:) Hellooo_? _(Pause:) Mother_? _(Daria and Quinn look at Helen, while Ruth keeps talking to Darren and Jake)_ Where _are_ you all? _(Pause:)_ The _motel_? Why--_(pause:)_ yes, she's here. _(Slowly looks over to Ruth, narrows her eyes:)_ I _see. (Pause:)_ Well, we'll be expecting you in about thirty minutes, Mother. Goodbye. _(Clicks off phone, walks over to and sits down beside Jake, and is now frowning at Ruth, who has stopped talking to Darren for the moment because she now sees how Helen is looking at her. Daria, who smirks at this because she suspects what's going on, inquires)_

DARIA: _(Faux concern:)_ Mom, _who_ was that on the phone? Was it your _job_? Don't tell me _Eric_ needs you to come in from your hard-earned vacation? _(Darren raises an eyebrow at this, looks curiously at Daria, who smirks at Darren.)_

HELEN: _(Glares at Daria for a moment, then cooly looks at Ruth, and speaks in a deliberate and cold tone:)_ That was your grandma _Evelyn_, Daria. It seems that she was under the _impression_ your Grandma Ruth was at the motel in her own room waiting for my mother and the others to come and pick her up. _(Pauses:)_ Your grandma Evelyn also said that the hotel manager told her that your Grandma Ruth checked out already, and to meet her over here--the only problem was that your Granma Ruth _didn't_ tell them what she was going to do.

RUTH: _(Waves off Helen:)_ Oh, _bother. (Pauses:)_ Well, I _told_ you that we must've had our signals mixed up, Helen. It's not _my_ fault your mother can't seem to _grasp_ what I said to her. We'll just have to wait for them to come in, and in the _meantime_, I can get to know my grandson. _(Helen looks about ready to explode, while Ruth simply looks and smiles at Darren:)_ Tell me about Eastward College, Darren. _(Daria and Quinn look at each other uneasily, and even Jake looks disappointed at what his mother has done)_

DARREN: _(Looks at Ruth uneasily, then at everyone else:)_ Er--perhaps we should wait until my _other_ grandmother and my aunts and cousin get here. I mean, why should I tell you about myself, Grandma Ruth, and then tell it to them _again_? _(Ruth scowls a bit at Darren, who quickly adds:)_ Uh, it's just that I want to see both of my two _beautiful_ grandmothers, who I can _appreciate_ being here to meet with me. _(Gently takes a surprised Ruth's hand, looks at her in the eye, and smiles:) Please_ do this _for_ me. 

Ruth seemed mesmerized for a moment, and then _smiled_ at Darren.

RUTH: _(Blushes somewhat:)_ Oh, I--well, that is, um--very well, Darren. _(Adds, pats her hair, flattered:)_ Do you _really_ think I'm _beautiful_?

DARREN: _(Smiles:)_ Of _course_ I do! _(Motions in Jake's direction, grins:)_ Where do you think my birth father got _his_ good looks? _(Jake gets puffed up in pride again)_

RUTH: _(Gets up while grinning herself, and Darren does as well with everyone else:)_ Oh, my--what a _wonderful_ grandson you are, Darren! _(Pinches Darren's cheek:)_ I'm going to go and freshen up, everyone, and wait for the others! _(Actually giggles and leaves for the bathroom)_

Everyone simply _stared_ at Darren, who was rubbing his cheek.

DARIA: _(Impressed:) Damn_, you're good, bro.

QUINN: _(Equally so, awed by her brother:)_ Boy, _I'll_ say!

HELEN: _(Delighted, looks about to cry:)_ Oh, my son! _(Hugs a startled Darren)_

JAKE: _(Sticks out his hand:)_ Put 'er there, Big Guy! _(Shakes Darren's hand, getting it in a vice-like grip)_

DARREN: _(Rubs his hand that Jake nearly crushed, a little baffled by everyone's praise:)_ All I did was ask her to wait for my other grandmother.

HELEN: _(Looks at her son with pride:)_ It's just that you _diffused_ a difficult situation, Darren.

DARIA: _(Smirks:) I'll_ say--from the way _mom_ was looking, you'd think a _nuclear bomb_ was about to go off. _(Helen narrows her eyes at Daria)_

JAKE: _(Suddenly slaps his hands together:)_ Well, we might as well have something to drink while we're a-waitin' for the rest of our relatives! Who's for some lemonade? _(Leaves for the kitchen)_

QUINN: _(Follows Jake with Helen:)_ I'll want some, Daddy--but make sure you put some of that _sweetner_ stuff in mine--

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ --How _fitting_--phony _sweetner_ for a phony _person_ who _pretends_ she's sweet. _(Darren chuckles to himself, while Quinn sticks her tounge out at Daria)_

Daria and Darren sat back down, this time on the middle couch.

DARIA: You ever thought of selling that _B.S._ you've gave to grandma Ruth, bro? You could make a hell of a lot of _money_.

DARREN: _(Cocks an eyebrow, chuckles to himself, thought v.o.: If you knew how much I had, sis, you wouldn't ask that question:) "B.S."_, Daria? I would like to think I was telling the _truth. (Sighs:)_ Sure, I wanted to calm everyone down, but that doesn't mean that I as a grandson can't tell my grandmother that she looks nice. _(Grows quiet:)_ You see, Daria, the grandparents I had _thought_ that were mine in blood have _passed_ away--on _both_ sides of my (adopted) parent's families. _(Daria looks at him quietly)_ Call it _corny_, but seeing the mothers of my _birth_ parents kind of gives me _another_ chance on seeing _more_ grandparents. _(Smirks:)_ I mean, how many people you know can say they saw _more_ than _four_ grandparents in a _lifetime_? Not many.

DARIA: _(Reflects on what Darren has said, feels a little guilty over her remark:)_ Um, look--I'm _sorry_ for saying that, Darren--

DARREN: _(Shows a melancholic smile:) --Forget_ it, sis. _(Ponders for a moment:)_ Look, I have to make a _quick_ call up in my room. Could you tell everyone that I'll be back in a few minutes? I'll make sure to be done before our other relatives get here, okay? _(Gets up and goes upstairs)_

DARIA: _(Watches him go up:)_ Sure, bro. _(Thought v.o. while frowning to herself: Nice going, Daria--make light of your brother's pain. Maybe you can twist the knife the other damn way) (Sighs, gets up and goes into the kitchen)_

Darren went into his room, and quickly picked up his cell phone. He pushed a few buttons, and waited for a response. He frowned when the operator told him the number he called was no longer in service. He began to push a few more numbers, and finally got an answer.

DARREN: Hello, is this William Appleton's secretary, _Lilly_?

LILLY: _(Sounding nonchalant while typing:)_ Yes, it is. Who is speaking?

DARREN: This is Darren Appleton. Is Mr. Appleton in conference?

LILLY: _(Becomes more alert after hearing who it is:)_ No sir, Mr. Appleton--he told me that he was going to be _late_ coming in today, and if he was needed, to call him at his _apartment_. He said he had some _personal_ business to see to.

DARREN: I see. Well, thank you for your help, Lilly. _(Clicks off phone, punches some more buttons)_

_(Scene changes to William Appleton's Park Avenue apartment, a minute **earlier**)_

William Appleton paced back and forth on his living room floor, looking worried. Benny, standing in the middle of the floor, watched him wordlessly.

WILLIAM: Benny, we've got to figure out what to do about my _so-called_ "nephew". He's no doubt told his _"family"_ who he is, and I'd wager he'll be coming back here soon to _meddle_ in _my_ company affairs--I'm _sure_ of it.

BENNY: _(Grins wickedly:)_ Arrange some sort of _"accident"_, Boss?

WILLIAM: _(Distracted:)_ Hm? Well, I don't know yet, Benny. _(Ponders:)_ I must admit, however, that I'm somewhat baffled as to _why_ we haven't heard anything from the _media_ on this--you know, a large _press conference_ with him on the front of the television screen telling everyone that he was adopted, and how he wants to introduce to the world his _"real"_ family. _(Glares into space:)_ I tell you, Benny, it _sickens_ me to see my damn _"nephew"_ do this crap to _embarass_ me, especially after I'm planning to put my _own_ man to head the legal services of the conglomerate, and then to be free to look for a _legal_ way to wrestle the conglomerate from Darren _permanently_--unless I decide to have him _killed_ first.

BENNY: Maybe he asked them to keep _quiet_ about it, Boss--Darren can be awfully _persuasive_ when he has to be. _(Sneers:)_ Maybe he promised to _pay_ them some money not to say anything--?

WILLIAM: _(Snorts:)_ Yeah--_right_, Benny. My _"goody-goody two-shoes"_ of a _"nephew"_? Get _real_. Even though he's _lying_ to his birth family, I'm _convinced_ that his _(speaks the word as if is some sort of curse, spits out:) "conscience"_ will win out in the end. Looks like I'll have to make a _decision--(pauses, looks at Benny with a faux sadness:)_ poor _Millie_--I'll have to _console_ her over Darren's impending _death_, but she's strong, and I'll be there for her. _(Benny smirks, delighted)_ Go ahead and call--

William's cell phone rang just at that moment, and he _snatched_ it up, clicking it on.

WILLIAM: _(Sounding annoyed:)_ This had _better_ be an _emergency_, Lilly.

VOICE: _(Sounding equally annoyed:)_ This isn't Lilly, Uncle Will--and in a way, it _is_ an emergency.

WILLIAM: _(Suddenly sounding "happy":)_ W-why _Darren_! _(Motions to Benny, who turns on the cell phone's base intercom speaker to listen in)_ What a _pleasant_ surprise! To what do I owe the _pleasure_ of your call?

DARREN: _Save_ it, Uncle Will. I read in the business section of the local paper here that you _transferred_ Leonard Potter out to the West coast branch of the legal services division. Is that _true_?

WILLIAM: _(Thinks for a moment:)_ Well, yes, but he _chose_ to go, Darren, and we needed someone of his experience out there to handle our legal matters. He's getting more money, and more responsiblity. _(Adds quickly:)_ I just chose him because of that like _you_ chose me to head the conglomerate--you know, because of his _experience_? _(Stresses this word as if to drive the point home to Darren, then adds faux concern:)_ Is there something _wrong_, dear boy?

There was silence on the other end of the phone, then Darren spoke.

DARREN: Well, I guess _not_--but I _assume_ you have a replacement?

WILLIAM: _(Smug look on his face:)_ Of course--_Sam Norwood._

DARREN: _(Sounding alarmed:) Sam Norwood_?! Didn't I hear dad say once that he made a living off of defending _Mafia_ figures, and that Norwood would _never_ work for Appleton Industries?

WILLIAM: _(Looks cooly at the back of his hand:)_ Darren, Sam Norwood hasn't represented any of those people for _years_, and has worked at a _prestigious_ law firm in lower Manhattan for quite awhile now. He is considered to be a _very_ agressive lawyer who will watch out for Appleton's interests like Leonard did. _(Pauses:)_ If you wish, I can give you a number to call and check yourself--_(adds, with a little hint of accusation:)_ since you don't seem to _trust_ me.

DARREN: _(Hesitates:)_ I never _said_ that I don't trust you, Uncle Will, I mean you've done _so_ much for me and all--it's just, well --_(voice fades off)_

WILLIAM: --It's quite all right, Darren, I only know you have the company's best _interests_ at heart--like _I_ do. _(Changes tone, looks at Benny, narrows eyes:)_ So, I guess you've _told_ your birth family who you _really_ are by now?

DARREN: Um, _not_ yet, Uncle Will. _(William smirks, while Benny mouths "Damn")_ I've decided to wait a bit _longer_ for--_personal_ reasons. Let's just say the time I wanted to tell them wasn't a good one at the moment, but I'll eventually get to doing it. _(Lightens tone:)_ So, have you heard from aunt _Millie_?

WILLIAM: Yes, I have, Darren--she's doing quite fine. Millie called me yesterday and said she's on a _cruise_ in the Mediterranean this week, and next week, she'll be in _Spain_.

DARREN: _(Sounding pleased:) Excellent_, Uncle Will--I'm glad she's having a good time--God only knows she _deserves_ it. Would you tell her that I'm fine, and not to worry about me?

WILLIAM: Of course I will, Darren--_(frowns:)_ anything _else_?

DARREN: _(Voice becomes low, pauses:)_ Look, Uncle Will, I'm--_sorry_ for calling you and questioning your decisions, and giving you the _impression_ that I'm looking over your shoulder. _(William and Benny look shocked, and Darren is heard chuckling)_ I know you're probably _shocked_ to hear that. Tell you what--I _promise_ I won't call again unless it's an _absolute_ emergency. I've got to go, take it easy, Uncle--see you later.

WILLIAM: _(Still shocked, weakly gets out his words:)_ Er, ah, sure, Darren--have a good time with your birth family. _(Slowly turns off the phone)_ Well, I'll be _damned_.

BENNY: _(Sounding surly:) Crap_. What do we do _now_, Boss?

WILLIAM: For the time being, _nothing_, Benny. Let my _"nephew"_ have his fun for now--maybe he'll _finally_ understand that I'm the _"Man"_ when it comes to this company. _(Smirks:)_ Let's get back to work and welcome Norwood, Benny.

BENNY: _(Sounding depressed:)_ Sure, Boss.

WILLIAM: Now, now, Benny--I know you're _disappointed_ you can't get to Darren, but remember, I said _"For the time being"_. I could very well _"address"_ the matter of Darren in the near future, _especially_ if I hear from him and he _meddles_ in my affairs again, so _cheer_ up! _(Slaps Benny on the back, and Benny stumbles forward, which amuses William. Both men leave the apartment)_

_(Scene is in a small, covered red convertible sportscar driving on a street on the way to the Morgendorffers, about ten minutes later. The car is followed by a taxi.)_

_Amy Barksdale_ drove her car listening to her mother sitting in the passenger seat ranting about getting _back_ at Ruth Morgendorffer for her deception. Her mother was going at it so much, that Amy secretly wished she could be in the taxi that was following _behind_ them that contained her sister Rita, niece Erin, and Erin's husband Brian--she suddenly shuddered at _that_ thought, frowning slightly to herself. Why in the world would she want to _willingly_ be with _any_ member of her immediate family? God, she must be getting _desperate_ to wish something like that. Too bad _Joel_ wasn't here to act as a _firewall_ of a sort. She smirked at the little plan Ruth had formulated at getting to see her grandson first--too bad Amy _herself_ didn't come to think of it, but at least she could see her nieces _and_ nephew to cushion the blow.

A _nephew_. How was he _like_? How did he _look_--like Helen, or Jake? Maybe _both_? The way Helen had went on about this _"Darren"_ fellow, one would think he could _fly_ or something. She had thought about calling _Daria_ to ask her some questions about Darren, but Amy didn't want to risk _stirring_ back up any feelings of _jealousy_ from Helen when Amy had last visited there. Amy decided to just see for herself her "newest" nephew. Amy wearily glanced at her mother, who was finishing her ranting.

_(Note to reader: The "jealousy" thing and Amy's beau Joel are from Kara Wild's "The Tie That Chokes", and a little bit of that spilled over into "That Thing You Say", from Kara as well)_

EVELYN: _(Angry:)_ --And Ruth will be getting an _earful_, I can tell you that, Amy. _(Looks at Amy, concerned:)_ You seem to be awfully _quiet_, dear.

AMY: _(Comes out her deep thoughts:)_ What? Oh, I was just thinking about my _nephew. (Pauses, considers something for a moment, talks to her mother in a gingerly way:)_ Mom, I know you're _obviously_ upset over what Mrs. Morgendorffer did, and I don't _blame_ you, but don't you think you should, well, _hold off_ giving her a piece of your mind? _(Sees her mother looking at her with a mild look of disbelief:)_ I mean, do it for your _grandson_. After all, we should try to give to him the best _impression_ of our family. _(Thought v.o.: Oh no, we certainly can't let him know what he's going to get himself into when he sees the **lunatics** that populate our family. [Smirks:] Not that **Daria** hasn't probably already **warned** him of what to expect.)_

EVELYN: _(Ponders her daughter's words:)_ Well--I'll _try_ for my grandson's sake, Amy, but if Ruth says _something_ to me about the so-called _"mix-up"_, I can't promise I won't say anything _nasty_ to her.

AMY: _(Looks forward, smirks:)_ Fair enough, Mom. _(Cuts her eyes outside the car, looks up at the sky through her windshield:)_ It looks like it's a nice day. _(Cocks an eyebrow at her mother:)_ Why didn't you want to ride in my car with the top _down_?

EVELYN: _(Gives a surprised look at her daughter, chuckles:)_ And ruin my _hairdo_, Amy? I want to look my _best_ for my grandson. Besides, I didn't want to ride with Rita, Erin and Brian--I see _enough_ of them at home--and I wanted to spend at least a little time talking to _you. (Amy glances at her mom, shocked)_

AMY: _(Makes sure to keep her eyes on the road:)_ You're--_serious_?

EVELYN: _(Smiles:)_ Of _course_ I'm serious, dear. After all, I've _never_ rode in your car before--and being here keeps me from listening to Rita's _constant_ bickering with Erin over Brian having trouble keeping a _job_.

AMY: _(Smirks:)_ Yeah, especially since she herself can't _keep_ one.

EVELYN: _(Glares:) Amy_! Your sister is trying to--_(sighs:)_ look, why don't you take some of your _own_ advice, dear--try not to _upset_ your nephew by giving out your--_"special"_ remarks, all right?

AMY: _(Gives a mock salute:) All righty-rinny-roo_, Mom.

In the taxi that was following them, the driver already was getting a _headache_ from listening to _Rita Barksdale_, who was sitting up front with him, and her daughter, and son-in-law, who were arguing in the rear. He _rolled_ his eyes, and strained to look forward, _screaming_ to himself privately for this ride to end _mercifully_.

RITA: _(Frowns:)_ --And I can just see Helen _bragging_ about her son to me. Well, she'd better not try to _laugh_ in my face, or I'll--

ERIN: _(Exasperated:)_ --Mother, _please_! Can't we get along for my _cousin's_ sake? _(Smirks:)_ Quinn called me yesterday and told me her brother was _gorgeous_! I can't _wait_ to see him!

BRIAN: _(Cocks an eyebrow at this:)_ Hey, should I be _jealous_ over this guy?

ERIN: _(Looks at Brian as if he has lost his mind:)_ You _idiot_! He's my _cousin_! Why in the world should you care _how_ he looks? It's not as if I'm going to _fall_ for him or something!

BRIAN: _(Looking surly:)_ Yeah, well--it's just that you've been making such a big deal out of meeting this _"Darren"_ guy, and I feel kind of--_neglected_.

ERIN: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Oh, _Brian--(hooks her arm with his:)_ no one can _replace_ you, dear. _(Brian looks smugly ahead while Rita shakes her head slowly)_

The two vehicles pulled in front of the Morgendorffer's home, and Helen led her family out from the house. Ruth, smirking, had her arm hooked with Darren's as they both came out of the house. Daria gave a small smile when she saw her aunt Amy (and vice-versa), and Quinn suantered up to the taxi to meet Erin and her husband Brian, who had gotten the cab fare from Rita, and was paying the _"All-too-ready-to-get-rid-of-these-people"_ driver. As Amy's car pulled into the Morgendorffer's driveway, Evelyn cast a quick _glare_ at Ruth, but then saw her grandson just as quickly, and her visage grew softer. She got out as soon as Amy had come to a complete stop, and went straight for Darren, only giving a quick _wave_ to a startled Helen as Evelyn walked right _past_ her. Evelyn put her trembling hand on Darren's face and chest, _(much to the chagrin of a jealous-looking Ruth)_ and like Ruth, was overcome with emotion.

EVELYN: _(Looks up into her grandson's eyes, about to cry:)_ S-so you're my grandson, Darren.

DARREN: _(With a still-jealous looking Ruth watching both of them:)_ Yes ma'am--and you must be my Grandma Evelyn. _(Hugs her:)_ It's a pleasure to meet you.

EVELYN: _(Gently caresses her grandson's face, and looks at Helen, who is coming up to them with Jake in tow:)_ He looks _completely_ like _you_, Helen--but he has _my_ eyes! _(This time, it's **Helen's** turn to look proud, while Jake looks heartbroken, and Ruth merely glares at Evelyn)_

DARREN: _(Who catches this, and remembers the same thing was said by Ruth to his birth father, looks for peace:)_ Actually, I think I look like _both_ of my birth parents--and I have _both_ of your eyes. Wouldn't you _all_ agree? _(Jake and Helen look at each other, and smile, while Ruth and Evelyn look at each other, and grudgingly put aside their differences for their grandson's sake, and force a smile towards each other)_

HELEN & JAKE & EVELYN & RUTH: _(All at the same time:)_ Oh yes, son! Sure, Big Guy! Of course you do, Darren! You're certainly right about that!

DARIA: _(Smirks, thought v.o.: And even though "Having both eyes" would mean you would have one **blue** eye from mom, and one **brown** eye from dad, you still win them over, Big Bro--way to go.)_

DARREN: _(Nods his approval:)_ All right, then, that's settled. _(Sees the others coming up to him:)_ And who have we _here_? _(Looks down at Rita:)_ My _first_ pretty aunt?

RITA: _(Looks up at her nephew, mouth hung open:)_ Um, I'm--uh, your aunt _Rita. (Helen smirks at Rita's behaviour)_ H-hello, Darren. _(Hugs her nephew)_

DARREN: Hello, Aunt Rita. _(Rita blushes, and looks at everyone with a bit of a foolish look on her face, steps back)_ Ah, okay. _(Looks at an awestruck Erin, smiling:)_ And _you're_--

BRIAN: _(Suddenly steps in front of a surprised Erin, tries to give the impression that he's "protecting his woman":) --I'm_ Brian, and this is Erin, _my_ wife, and your _cousin. (Emphasizes the word "cousin" to a partially confused Darren, as if to drive the point home that's **all** Erin is to Darren--his cousin)_

DARIA: _(Smirks, stands to the side and watches all of this with Amy and Quinn, leans over to Quinn, speaks in a low voice:)_ Those _"insects"_ seem to be _escaping_ you and are now entering Brian's _brain. (Quinn rolls her eyes at Daria, while Amy cocks an amused eyebrow at both of her nieces)_

ERIN: _(Steps in front of her husband, gives him a quick glare, looks up into Darren's eyes:)_ We're _both_ pleased to meet you, "cousin" Darren. _(Smirks:)_ Welcome to our family. _(Suddenly hugs a stunned Darren, while Brian looks at this scene, boiling mad. Helen, Evelyn, Quinn, Daria, Amy, Rita, and even Ruth smirk at this, while Jake simply looks at the whole thing with a goofy, loving, "Aww, isn't that cute" look in his eyes. Erin stares up at her cousin for a moment, clearly liking the hug, surprising herself, then hesitantly backs off)_

DARREN: _(Gathers his bearings back, looks at Amy, smirks:)_ Uh, and I guess you're my _Aunt Amy_, the _second_ pretty aunt here--?

AMY: _(Walks up to Darren and hugs him, smiles:)_ Yes, Darren, and flattery will get you _everywhere_ with me. _(Thought v.o.: Oh, boy, **this** is my nephew? Damn, he's a **hunk**!) (Tenatively releases him, steps back and looks him over, smirks:)_ And it's just _Amy_, okay? _(Darren nods, curses at himself imwardly because he forgot what Daria told him over the "aunt" thing)_ You ever thought of putting on a _pied-piper suit_ and walking onto the campus of an _all-woman's college_? I'd bet you'd have them all eating out of your hand. Why, you could probably get them to _strip willingly_ for you--

HELEN & EVELYN: _--AMY! (Ruth smirks at this, the same for Daria, and Quinn and Erin--they all suspect that Amy is at least **partially** right on her barb, while Darren blushes)_

After the rest of the customary greetings among the families, everyone went into the house, and the caterer came in soon after. The food was served, and then Darren was called on again to tell the story of the adoption. Evelyn and Ruth sat and watched their grandson, going through the same emotions that Helen and Jake had gone through went they first heard the story--sadness, horror, and anger. Rita was stunned, Erin was crying, and even Brian, who after he had heard the story, had a _apologetic_ look on his face--he realized he had been _very_ hard on Darren, feeling guilty as well as foolish, and decided to be _civil_ to him from now on.

Amy was _seriously_ PO'd. She also went through the same emotions as everyone else, but something _awoke_ in her--a feeling of pure _rage_ towards the now-deceased Turley, something she had _never_ felt so strongly about before, even against her family in the past. Throughout the story, she had sat on the middle couch with Daria and Quinn, and had exchanged sad glances with both of them. Amy looked over at Darren, who was sitting with Evelyn and Ruth on the opposite couch, feeling completely _sorry_ for him--although she suspected that he didn't _want_ her pity--at least not in that way. Her nephew had gone through _hell_--and she was determined to help him in any way she could--if he _allowed_ her to. She snapped out of her thinking just as Darren was finishing his story.

Darren, who had gotten up and stood in the middle of the living room during his story, looked around quietly, trying to gauge his relative's reactions. He didn't have to wait long, for Evelyn and Ruth got up and _hugged_ him on either side, crying. Rita and Erin did the same, Brian looked away quietly for a second, then walked to him and shook his hand, promptly apologizing to Darren for the behavior Brian had treated Darren with, much to the silent pleasure of a pleased Erin. Amy simply walked up to Darren and looked up at him in the eye, holding the sides of his arms, and spoke.

AMY: _(Looking and sounding serious:)_ Darren, I think I can safely speak for everyone here when I say that even though we were _denied_ a chance to get to know you after all these years, that you are a _welcome_ addition to our family, and that we'll do everything we possibly can to make you feel that you belong here, as if you _always_ had been--we're _proud_ of you. _(Smiles, hugs him warmly--Daria, after giving a quick look around, gives a tiny Mona Lisa smile, Quinn looks as if she's going to cry again, the same for Helen, and even Jake)_

Darren looked down at his aunt, still holding her, and smiled back in kind--with a _ton_ of _guilt_ inside of him. _Damn_--why don't I just _tell_ them? They'd understand why I couldn't, wouldn't they? He slowly shut his eyes, as if he were in pain, and was about to tell them the _truth_, when the doorbell _rang_. Darren quietly cursed it for the intrusion, and himself for not having the _courage_ for saying something. Helen went to answer it while Darren looked back down at his aunt.

DARREN: _(Looks at his aunt lovingly:)_ Thank you, Au--er, _Amy_. That really means a _lot_ to me.

AMY: _(With the same look:)_ And I meant _every_ bit of it, Darren--_(smirks:)_ I guess this means that I'll have to _scrape_ up some more _money_ for _birthdays--_

EVELYN: _(Mildly annoyed, but chuckling:) Amy! (Slowly smiles:)_ I, for one, look forward to _spoiling_ another one of my granchildren during the holidays!

DARIA: _(Smirks, thought v.o.: You mean Darren can get some socks, bloomers, and other cheap crap too, Grandma?)_

RUTH: _(Cuts in, looks smug, waves her off:) Please_, Evelyn--let's not give our grandson the _illusion_ that you'll spoil him like _that--_

DARIA: _(Smirks, thought v.o.: Oh no, not when you can give him **used** books, Grandma Ruth--)_

RUTH: --when _I_ can actually make _your_ spoiling him look, well--rather _mundane--(Evelyn frowns, walks up to Ruth, now in her face)_

EVELYN: Are you saying that I can't _out-spoil_ you when it comes to my grandchildren, you _cow_?

RUTH: _(Now in Evelyn's face, frowning:)_ What do _you_ think, you _sow_?

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: **How now sow cow**? Nah--it'll never catch on.)_

DARREN: _(Frantically looking at both:)_ Grandma Ruth, Grandma Evelyn, _please--_

QUINN: _(Looks horrified, first at Jake, who's too scared to do anything, then Brian, who does the same, then at Erin and Rita, who step back and watch from the side, looking at each other uneasily, and then at Daria and Amy, who are both smirking:) Do_ something, Daria, Aunt Amy, this is _horrible_!

DARIA: I'll say--we didn't get the caterer to bring any _popcorn. (Amy tries not to laugh)_

QUINN: _(Frowns, shouts:) Damn_ it, Daria--this isn't funny!

Both grandmothers heard Quinn, and stopped their bickering long enough to look at her, frowning.

EVELYN & RUTH: _(At the same time:) Language_, Quinn! _(Quinn looks at both of them sheepishly, red-faced)_

QUINN: Sorry, Grandma Ruth, Grandma Evelyn.

JAKE: _(Looks at Quinn as well, frowns:) Yeah_, language, Quinn! _(Everyone looks at Jake for a moment, as if to say, "Boy, are you behind the times.")_

Ruth and Evelyn turned back to each other, and were about to say something else, when Darren spoke, suddenly putting his arms around both of his grandmothers.

DARREN: _(Looks back and forth between his grandmothers, smiles:)_ Can't we all try to get along, _please_? I was told that you both _promised_ you would for _my_ sake. _(Both Ruth and Evelyn look at him for a moment, give quick glares at one another, then look back at Darren with a softer glance)_

RUTH: _(Sighs:)_ For _your_ sake, I will, Darren.

EVELYN: _(Sighs as well:)_ Very well, Darren--for _your_ sake, I will, too.

AMY: _(Cocks an eyebrow, impressed, leans over to Daria, talks in a low voice:) Wow_. How does he do that?

DARIA: _(Talks to Amy in the same voice, smirks:)_ Remind me to tell you about that later, Amy--he's _damn_ good at diffusing situations.

VOICE: _(From the entrance to the living room, sounding feminine, impressed:)_ You're quite _good_.

Everyone looked and saw a petite brunette standing beside Helen. The woman walked up to Darren to introduce herself.

WOMAN: _(Extends her hand, looks at Darren a bit flushed:)_ Oh, um, hello, I'm _Meg Rosata_, Channel Four news. You're Darren Coverton, I assume--?

_(Note to reader: Meg Rosata was first seen in "The Lost Girls")_

DARREN: _(Looks slightly alarmed, thought v.o.: Oh, great--the media.) (Shakes the woman's hand:)_ Er, yes I am, Miss--Ms.--

ROSATA: _(Smirks:) Ms._ Rosata, but you can call me Meg. _(Glances at Darren a second more, then remembers why she's here, shakes her head slightly to clear it:)_ Oh, yes, I've heard from around our community about you, Mr.--

DARREN: _(Gently cuts her off:)_ --Please call me Darren--

ROSATA: --Darren, and I thought it would be a great _human-interest_ story for our viewers--you know, a long-thought-of dead son who has come back to his birth family.

HELEN: _(Glares at Rosata for a moment, then looks at Darren:)_ I _tried_ to tell Ms. Rosata--_"Meg"_, that you weren't ready for an interview, Darren, but she _insisted_ upon asking to hear from you herself. 

DARREN: No, it's okay. _(Looks at Rosata:)_ Meg, I'd like to give you your interview, but could it wait a few _weeks_, at least? _(Thought v.o.: By that time, my secret should be out--I **hope**.)_ I've had some--_troubles_ in my personal life, and I want to get to know my birth family a little better first--you know how it is.

ROSATA: _(Pauses, considers:)_ All right, Darren, I guess I can wait, but would you promise me that you won't give any interviews to any _other_ media outlets until _after_ you talk to us first?

DARREN: That seems fair, Meg. _(Reaches out to shake her hand, which she returns:)_ Deal?

ROSATA: _Deal_. It was a--_pleasure_ to meet you, Darren--_(Rosata looks at him with a slight dreamy gleam in her eye, which no one but Amy and Daria catch:)_ I--_definitely_ look forward to the interview. _(Hesitates:)_ Um, good bye, everyone, and thank you all for your time.

HELEN: You're welcome, Meg. I'll see you out. _(Leaves with Rosata)_

AMY: _(To Daria in a low tone, smirks:)_ Did you see how that reporter _behaved_ towards Darren? _(Daria slowly nods)_ She was practically _drooling_ at him! Well, it's _official_ now--if I had _any_ doubts after my little _"woman's college"_ remark, it's _long_ gone. My nephew and your brother can _snap_ his fingers and get _any_ girl he wants. He probably has a whole _stash_ of them somewhere.

DARIA: _(Looks at Amy uneasily, speaks in the same tone:)_ Um, well--that's _not_ exactly true, Amy--

AMY: _(Cocks an eyebrow at Daria:)_ Oh? What do you mean, Daria?

DARIA: Well, um--_(Jake, who had slipped out of the living room, comes back with a box full of tapes, interrupts everyone, including Helen, who had just came back from seeing Meg Rosata out)_

JAKE: _(Grins like an idiot:)_ --Hey, everybody! I've got some of our _tapes_ of Daria and Quinn while they were _babies_ and little _kids_! Let's watch them!

_(Note to reader: some of the tapes of baby Daria and Quinn were seen in "Monster")_

DARREN: _(Chuckles, with both of his grandmothers on each arm:)_ Hey! You didn't tell _me_ about those tapes since I've been here!

HELEN: _(Smiles, walks up beside Jake, puts her arms around his waist:)_ We wanted to wait until the rest of our families came to see you, son.

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: And insure my total and complete humiliation.) (Rolls her eyes:)_ Oh, _God_. Amy, you don't _have_ to see this--

AMY: _(Smirks:)_ --And _miss_ out on seeing you taking your first _baby_ steps? _(Daria gives her a tiny glare) Not_ on your life! C'mon! _(Turns to go back to the living room with the others, thought v.o.: What did Daria mean by "not exactly"? Maybe I should ask her or Darren about that later.)_

QUINN: _(Delighted to get the attention, looks over to Erin, follows everyone:)_ Oh, I was _so_ cute when I was little! Now, I know it's incredible, but I'm even _cuter_ today! _(Keeps talking to Erin while both of them go into the living room. Daria waits for a moment, sighs, and goes in. She is the last one to come, and sits beside Amy.)_

After viewing the tapes, (much to Daria's consternation and Quinn's wild delight) the families had looked through the Morgendorffer's family photo album. _(Note to reader: See some of the photos in "The Daria Diaries")_ Darren quietly looked through the photos while Ruth and Evelyn, who were sitting on both sides of him on the middle couch, argued about what clothes that Daria and Quinn were wearing in the photos, and _who_ gave it to them for Christmas, birthdays, and the like. Darren, however, didn't hear them because he was looking at the lives of his birth family pass--_without_ him there with them. When he heard at first about the photos, he thought seeing his sisters growing up wouldn't affect him, but now, going through them made him feel _sad_. He narrowed his eyes slightly, _pretending_ to place himself as a little boy in those photos with his sisters--but he couldn't. _Damn_ that Turley. Amy noticed him with a concerned look from him that bordered on mild _depression_. She took the initiative and spoke up.

AMY: Um, Helen--_(this interrupts the bickering from Ruth and Evelyn:)_ why don't you show Mom and Rita around your house? They really haven't had a good look at it since they've been here.

HELEN: _(Gasps:)_ Why, Amy--you're _right! (Smirks at her mother and Rita:)_ Let me show you both around, Mother, Rita--let's start upstairs.

RUTH: _(Gets up as well:)_ I'll go with you all so I can give Helen some decorating _tips. (Looks around:)_ She certainly hasn't _done_ anything since I've last been here, like she said she would! _(Helen glares at Ruth with daggers as they go out of the living room, while Evelyn and Rita smirk at each other)_

AMY: _(Looks at Jake:)_ Jake, didn't you tell me the last time I was here about that car show you were at? _(Jake nods)_ Didn't you have some sort of _brochure_ with a lot of pictures in it from that show?

JAKE: _(Becomes excited:)_ Hey, _yeah_! _(Looks around, snaps his fingers:)_ It's in the den on the shelf above the desk!

AMY: Well, why don't you show _Brian_ what's in it? I'm sure he likes cars--right, Brian?

BRIAN: _(Shrugs:)_ Sure, I guess. _(Gets up and goes out with Jake to the den)_

Daria looked at her aunt curiously. It was obvious she was up to something by splitting up everyone, but she wondered what it was. Daria waited with a mischievous sense of guessing who she was going to send off next. She even noticed _Darren_ giving Amy a curious look as well, trying to understand her motives.

AMY: _(Looks at Quinn and Erin:)_ Quinn, didn't you say something to me about the newest issue of _Waif_ magazine? Why don't you show Erin the latest fashions?

QUINN: Sure, I guess--it's up in my room. C'mon, cuz! _(Pulls Erin along)_

DARIA: _(Smirks and watches Quinn and Erin go upstairs, waits until they're out of sight, turns to her aunt:)_ Okay, Amy, what's _up_? Why'd you send everybody all over our house?

DARREN: _(Raises an eyebrow:)_ Yes, I'd like to know that, too.

AMY: Actually, I'm not _quite_ finished yet. _(Looks at Daria:)_ Daria, you told me Jane and her mom were coming in late tonight. Why don't _you_ see if you can call her and find out what time she's coming, okay?

DARIA: _(Caught a little off guard that Amy would want **her** gone so that Amy could talk to Darren alone, searches for words:)_ Um, sure--_(looks at watch:)_ I'll see if she's there. _(Leaves)_

DARREN: _(Smirks, watches Daria go, talks in a low tone:)_ Hmmm--for _some_ reason, I _never_ thought you'd get rid of Daria. _(Looks back at Amy:)_ So, what do you want to talk to me about?

AMY: _(Points to the door:) Outside. (Goes out, followed by Darren)_

Both went out to Amy's car in the driveway. Amy went on the passenger side, and got in. She looked up at a perplexed Darren through the driver's side window, who was standing on the driver's side, and gently motioned for him to get behind the wheel, which he did. Amy gave him the keys, and he started up the car. She turned on a switch that folded down the red sportscar's soft top.

AMY: _(Lies back in the seat, closes her eyes:) Drive_. Anywhere. Just drive.

DARREN: _(Looks back and backs out the car:)_ Eh--what about if anyone wants to know _where_ we are?

AMY: _(Opens one eye, notices Daria looking at them in the front window:)_ Oh, I'm sure _someone_ will know we've gone someplace. Drive. _(Shuts her eyes, lets her hair blow in the breeze)_

DARREN: _(Shrugs:)_ Sure. _(Car drives off down the street)_ Now, what's _up_?

AMY: Oh, I just wanted to get you out of that place before your _melancholy_ feelings took you down for the count.

DARREN: _(Keeps his eyes ahead, but cuts them over to Amy occasionally, looking sheepish:)_ Um--I didn't think _anyone_ noticed--

AMY: --How you were _wishing_ what it could be like to be with your birth sisters and parents as a _kid_ while you were looking at the videos and the photo albums? Hey, it could've been _worse_--_(smirks:)_ you could've ended up like _me_ in my childhood as a kid.

DARREN: Ah, Daria told me about what it was like for you in your childhood--something about your providing _"color commentary"_ while your sisters fought one another for your mother's attention?

AMY: _(Still laying back, eyes closed:) Jack_ straight. My point is--

DARREN: _(Cuts her off:)_ --Your _point_ is, it could have been worse for _me_. I told Daria the _same_ thing when she compared her--_our_ family with her friend Jane's. At least Daria and Jane _had_ siblings--and so did _you_. Okay, maybe in some cases they could be a _pain_, but from what Daria told me, you and Helen have grown _closer_ to each other recently. _My_ point is, a brother or sister in my childhood could've made me feel a little less--_lonely_.

AMY: _(Opens her eyes, looks at Darren concerned:)_ Weren't your, um, _parents_ there for you? I mean since you were a only child, and I'd think they'd kind of--

DARREN: --_Spoil_ me? Actually, they _didn't_ do that. Oh, don't get me _wrong_, my (adopted) parents were there with me _every_ step of the way, really. _(Thought v.o.: And even the **servants**.)_ But with a brother or a sister, well, we could just hang out and talk, or _(chuckles:)_ get into _trouble_ together, and _protect_ one another from our parent's punishments--

AMY: _(Smirks:)_ --Or get each other _into_ your parent's punishments. _(Mimics her voice like a child's:) "I'm gonna tell mama and dada on you!"_ or _"You're gonna get it **so** bad..." (Darren laughs)_

DARREN: I stand _corrected. (Grows quiet:)_ I guess it's just one _more_ thing to add to my _recently-turned-to-crazy_ life. _(Amy looks at Darren sadly, then puts her hand on his in a reassuring manner. The hand she she pats is shifting the straight gear. She then smiles at him)_

AMY: I'm _sorry. (Pauses, lightens her tone:)_ That kind of reminds me--earlier today, Daria told me something that _surprised_ me somewhat--you're _not_ a _"loverboy"_? I'd think you'd be the one just about _all_ the girls would go after.

DARREN: _(Looks uneasy:)_ Well, you see, I don't want to be that _type_ of a guy. I had only _one_ girlfriend for about _two_ years, and I--uh--well, _loved_ her.

AMY: _(Smirks:)_ Ah, _now_ I see why you're not like that. I think that's very _sweet_--and very _right_. Well, I'd like to _meet_ her, Darren--she's one lucky gal. _(Considers something:)_ Hold it--you said _"loved", past_ tense. Did something happen?

DARREN: _(With a pained expression, hesitates on whether or not to tell Amy, then relents:)_ You can--_say_ that. Look, Amy, I told Daria about what happened, so I guess I can tell you, but would you kind of keep it to _yourself_? Eventually, I'll tell everyone else, but what happened is sort of like talking about my (adopted) parents death--I generally _don't_--it happened not too long ago, you know.

AMY: _(Looks at her nephew softly, understands:)_ Okay, Darren--sure, I promise.

DARREN: _(Pauses:)_ Well, her name was _Stephanie Reardon_--

_(Scene is back at the Morgendorffer home, at the same time)_

Daria had just watched Darren leave with Amy. She felt a little _miffed_ at being left behind, but then decided that maybe Amy wanted to just have a little time alone with Darren. Daria shrugged, then figured since she was alone for the moment (something Daria fully relished) she might as well _really_ call Jane and see when she'd come in. Daria picked up the cell phone in the kitchen, and started to dial. She wondered briefly if Jane and her mother would spend their final day getting in some last-minute sightseeing, but the phone was answered.

VOICE: Yo!

DARIA: Hey, Jane--did I catch you at a bad time? I know I shouldn't have called this early, but--

JANE: --Nah. My mom and I were a'packing. _(Pauses:)_ Kind to think of it, she seems to be _more_ eager than me to get out of here. That 'ol pottery seminar's calling to her, I guess.

DARIA: When do you guys plan to leave?

JANE: About 3:00 p.m. our time--6:00 p.m. yours. After an hour layover in St. Louis, that means we'll arrive at the local airport about midnight your time--although the Forecast Channel says that some _seriously_ nasty weather is headed your way. That could delay our plane for about an hour or more before landing, so maybe we'll get there about 1:00 a.m. your time if everything goes right.

DARIA: _(Smirks:) 1:00 a.m._? Do you think Trent will be _up_ at that time? He might be sleeping, and you guys'll end up at the airport waiting for him, or the phone's ringing from trying to call him might not get him awake. Maybe you should get _Tom_ to be there for you.

JANE: _(Pauses for a moment, sounding somewhat **disappointed**:)_ Don't _start_ with me about Tom.

DARIA: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ Huh? What do you mean? _(Narrows eyes:)_ What'd he do _now_, Jane?

JANE: _(Now sounding hurt:)_ It's what he _didn't_ do that bothers me, Daria--I called yesterday, and what do you know--his answering machine is _now_ working. I hear on _it_ that he's going to be _out_ of town with some of his prep-school buddies for a few days, saying he needed a _vacation_, and this was the _only_ time his boss would let him go--even _after_ I told him I'd be coming in for the weekend. He said he'd see me when he came in Monday. _(Snorts:)_ This from the guy who practically _begged_ me to give him _another_ chance, remember?! Why couldn't he have taken _some_ of his vacation with _me_? He knew _when_ I was coming in! Sure, I went out here with my _mom_ on _my_ vacation, but don't you think that was kind of _different_?

DARIA: _(Considers this for a moment:)_ Well, you've got a _point_ there. _(Pauses, shrugs:)_ Maybe that was his _logic_, or something, you know, like, _"If she can spend some time with her mom, why not me with my friends?"_

JANE: Yeah, but _now_? Daria, this is our _relationship_ at stake, you know, not some sort of _guy-oriented excursion_! Why should I give Tom the _time of day_ anymore? _(Pauses:)_ Don't tell me you're _still defending_ Tom?

DARIA: _(Defensive tone:)_ It's not that, Jane--_(sighs:)_ out of fairness, he _did_ tell you he'd be in Monday, and he was really relieved when I told him you'd talk to him. _(Pauses:)_ Look, just wait for his _explanation_ when he returns, okay? _(Thought v.o.: And he'd damn well better have a good one--I'm getting really tired of this crap.)_

There was a _very_ long pause on the other end, then Jane spoke.

JANE: _(In a quiet but cold tone:)_ One--more--_damn_--chance--Daria--that's it. _(Gives a long sigh, lightens tone:)_ Look, _enough_ about me--how's your little _"Family Reunion with the Big Bro"_ going?

DARIA: _(Shrugs:)_ Eh, it's actually going okay with Darren here to _calm_ everyone down. The boy has really _shown_ his stuff.

JANE: _(Sounding curious:)_ Oh? What'd he do?

DARIA: He's just been able to make my grandmas act _civil_ to each other, my aunt Rita to go _ga-ga_ over him, the same for my cousin Erin, and he even made Brian _jealous_ over the way Erin reacted over him. _(Pauses:)_ I think Darren's even _won over_ my aunt Amy, who's out with him now in her car talking about _who-knows-what_.

JANE: _Wow_--even your heroine, the _"Great Aunt Amy"_? I'm _definitely_ looking forward to meeting your bro. _(Snickers, sounding half-serious:)_ Does he have a _girlfriend_? 

DARIA: _(Cocks an eyebrow for an instant, then guesses Jane is just **joking**:) Ho-ho._ You just keep that _eye_ of yours on _Tom_, okay?

JANE: _(Snorts:)_ Yeah--what _little_ I have of it _left_, sure. Speaking of _eyes_, are you keeping _your's_ on _Trent_? _(Daria rolls her eyes, shakes her head slowly:)_ How's he and Mystik Spiral doing with their newfound _"wealth"_?

DARIA: They bought the "new" used Tank a few days ago, keeping even the _same_ color, as well as their new instruments. Trent called here yesterday and said he and the band are finishing up on a new song that will _"thank"_ their _"Mysterious Benefactor"_, and will debut at the Zen tomorrow night, so you'll be able to listen to it then. _(Deadpan:)_ Boy, I can't wait for the world _"premiere"_ of _that_ little _ditty_.

JANE: _(In her usual playful scolding motherly mode:)_ Now, now, Daria. Trent called me and my mom yesterday, too, and said he and Mystik Spiral have _really_ been working on this song--in fact, he's _very_ excited about it. _(Pauses:)_ Geez, I wonder _who_ this person is? Ya got any ideas, _"Shorty"_?

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ Afraid not, _"Stick Girl"_--although I wonder if this guy--or girl--has some sort of _motive_ in doing this. No offense to Mystik Spiral, but I can't for the _life_ of me figure out why they'd be _singled out_ for this.

JANE: Hey, somebody might just have a _good_ heart--I mean, it's _possible_, right?

DARIA: Maybe--I don't know. Perhaps it's just my _cynical_ nature that is rearing it's _ugly_ head that's made me wonder about this in that way. _(Hears some voices:)_ Uh-oh, family _chaos_ is approaching. I'd better get off. _(Pauses:)_ Say, maybe Darren and I can pick you guys up if Trent can't make it to the airport.

JANE: Hmm--tell you what--if Trent's not there when mom and I come in, I'll make a beeline to the payphones and call you, okay?

DARIA: Roger.

JANE: Later. _(Hangs up)_

Daria had just clicked off the phone when Helen, Evelyn, Rita, and Ruth walked into the kitchen. Helen was _scowling_ at Ruth, who was _sneering_.

RUTH: --And _that's_ what I'd _do_ in the living room. Now as for the kitchen here, I'd definitely change the color of those _ugly_ drapes! _(Helen has had just about enough when Evelyn speaks)_

EVELYN: _(Looks at the draped window above the sink:)_ Yes, Ruth--as much as it _pains_ me to say this--I have to _agree_ with you. _(Helen looks at her mother, stunned)_ Those drapes _are_ the wrong color. How about _yellow_?

RITA: _(Jumps in, figures this is a good way of siding with her mother against Helen for some brownie points:)_ I favor _gold_. Yellow's too _loud_--

DARIA: _(Deadpan, smirks:)_ --How about _zig-zag orange polka dots with vertical little bananas on a tangerine and purple checkerboard pattern that is in the shape of lightning_?

HELEN: _(Glares, shocked:) Daria_!

EVELYN: _(Considers, looks up:)_ No, dear--_that's_ too loud, too.

RUTH: _(Also looks up, considers:)_ Hmmm--I _agree_.

RITA: _(Does the same as the other two:)_ Oh, most _definitely_ too loud, Daria. _(Helen slowly closes her eyes, puts her hand on her forehead and sighs, while Daria smirks even wider)_

EVELYN: _(Looks around:)_ Where's my grandson and your aunt Amy, Daria?

RUTH: _(Jumps in before Daria can say something, slightly frowns at Evelyn:)_ Don't you mean _our_ grandson, Evelyn?

EVELYN: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ All _right_, Ruth--_our_ grandson!

DARIA: He and aunt Amy went out in her car, Grandma Evelyn. They didn't say where they were going.

RUTH: _(Suddenly glares at Evelyn:)_ Leave it to your _weirdo_ daughter to take _my_ grandson out on a _joyride_ to _God-knows-where_!

EVELYN: _(Narrows her eyes at Ruth:)_ How _dare_ you call my daughter _"weird"_! She's a _grown_ woman who may be a _little strange--(Daria gives a slight frown at Evelyn, and Rita smirks)_ but I seriously doubt that she'd _ever_ let something terrible happen to her own nephew! _(Realizes something:)_ And I thought Darren was _our_ grandson!

RUTH: _(Waves Evelyn off:)_ I don't know if Darren should _be_ your grandson now--he might take up some of _your_ family's _bad_ habits!

EVELYN: _(Now becomes furious:) WHAT-IN-THE-HELL DO YOU MEAN--_

Helen was about to _scream_, Rita had stepped back to see the fireworks, and Daria was about to make some microwavable _popcorn_ (she remembered they actually had some, and did not have to wonder anymore if the caterers had any) when Darren and Amy walked into the kitchen. Ruth and Evelyn looked at Darren and both rushed up to him, hugging and kissing him on the cheek. Silently snapping her fingers, and mouthing _"Damn"_, Daria put the small pack of popcorn back into the cabinet.

DARREN: _(Overwhelmed, looks down at his grandmothers:) Whoa_! What's going _on_?

RUTH: _(While caressing his face, in a concerned tone:)_ Oh, my grandson, did _she (glares at Amy:)_ try to drive you into a _telephone pole_, or something?

AMY: _(Smirks, decides to go into sarcastic mode:)_ No I didn't, but I did try to get him to _spin wheelies_ all over town to _incur the wrath_ of the cops. _(Ruth frowns at Amy, while Daria smirks, and Darren tries not to laugh)_

DARREN: _(In a soothing tone, gently holds Ruth's hands, much to the consternation of Evelyn:)_ Calm down, Grandma Ruth, I'm fine, really. Besides, _I_ was doing the driving. We just talked, that's all. _(Looks at Amy, smiles:)_ Amy wanted to let me drive her car, and it was a _blast_. Great _horsepower_ under the hood! _(Amy smirks)_ We came back in when we saw that the sky was starting to get _dark_.

DARIA: I heard that the Forecast Channel has predicted some _really_ bad weather for this evening. _(Smirks:)_ You might be _stuck_ here overnight if you stay here for a couple of hours more.

RUTH: _(Looks over at Evelyn, uneasily:)_ Well, what do _you_ want to do, Evelyn?

EVELYN: _(Considers:)_ I think we should _leave_ before it comes in. _(Looks at Darren, puts her hand on his face:)_ Now, I'll be back here again soon, Darren.

RUTH: _(Nudges past Evelyn, does the same thing:)_ And so will _I_, sweetie. _(Hugs him)_

DARREN: _(Smiles:)_ Well, if you two _really_ have to go, I'll miss you. But, I'll be here until about _two_ weeks before I have to register at Eastward College for the fall semester.

HELEN: _(Dumbfounded:)_ Do you all _have_ to go so _soon_? We could _make_ some room, and--_(Daria shuts her eyes and slowly sighs. Darren catches this, and tries not to laugh, while Amy, who also sees Daria, smirks)_

EVELYN: Now, now, Helen--I have to be back home by tomorrow for some painters. They said that is the _only_ day can fit my house in for a few _months_. Rest assured, I'll _try_ to come back before Darren leaves.

RUTH: The _same_ goes for me, Darren. I have a _flower_ show to go to tomorrow. _(Looks around:)_ Helen, will you call two cabs for us, please? _(After a moment, Helen grabs her cell phone and starts to call)_

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: **Now** I see, it's all in the family, this **"love-em-and-leave-'em thing"**. Gee, I look forward to doing that to **my** family come Graduation Day from good 'ol Lawndale High) (Leaves with everyone into the living room)_

Jake and a _bored-looking_ Brian came out of the den, with Jake showing his Middleton College pictures to Brian. Both walked into the living room.

JAKE: _(Points in the book, excited:)_ Those _were_ the days, Brian m'man--_(looks off, reminisces:)_ me and Helen, _Coyote, Willow, Ryvre, Lavendar, Serenity, Mook,_ and even _Sebastian_! Us against the _world--(narrows eyes, goes into ranting mode:)_ and _away_ from my _Old Man_! _(Sees Ruth:)_ Yeah, Mom--dad put _both_ of us through some _hell_ didn't he?!

_(Note to reader: Coyote and Willow come from the episode "That Was Then, This Is Dumb", and Sebastian, Ryvre, Lavendar, Serenity, and Mook come from C.E. Forman's "retrolarious" fanfic "Fireworks")_

RUTH: _(Gives Jake a sympathetic look:)_ That he did, Jakey--that he _did._

Quinn and Erin came downstairs, chatting and giggling.

QUINN: --And that style looked _so_ silly on her, you _know_ what I mean, Erin?

ERIN: _(Rolls her eyes:) Tell_ me about it, Quinn. That _tube dress_ looked like a _rag_ on her with that dumb _peach_ color.

DARIA: _(Deadpan, walks up to them:)_ But I thought her _shoes_ set the dress off _perfectly_.

QUINN: _(Snorts:)_ Come _off_ of it, Daria--the shoes were _dreadful--(realizes something:) hey_! You're just _kidding_ me, aren't you?

DARIA: _(Smirks:) Never_ let it be said that I _ever_ did that, sis.

About ten minutes later, everyone said their goodbyes when the two yellow cabs, driven by _nervous_ cab drivers from the _same_ cab company who had drawn _straws_ when they had heard _who_ they were picking up, (because the previous driver had _warned_ his fellow drivers of what to expect) drove up to the front of the Morgendorffer home. Rita grabbed her nephew in a _vice-like_ hug, and kissed Darren on the cheek, saying she looking forward to seeing him again. Erin did the _same_, but Brian simply _shrugged_ and smiled sheepishly when he saw it this time, and shook Darren's hand. Rita, Erin, and Brian got into their cab in the front. (The driver in this cab _crossed_ his heart and looked up and said a quick _prayer_)

Ruth saved Darren for last when she said goodbye, hugging him, and kissing him on the cheek. She then got into the back of the rear cab. (The driver of _this_ cab sighed in _relief_, believing that Ruth was going to be the _only_ one he was taking back to the motel. He looked at the other driver in front of him and _smirked_.) After giving her own hug and kiss to Darren, Evelyn informed Amy that she was going back _with_ Ruth so Evelyn could _"set Ruth straight"_ on a few things about the _"remarks"_ Ruth had made about Evelyn's family. Without hearing from Amy, Evelyn promptly got into the back with a surprised Ruth and started to _argue_ with her, much to the now-horrified rear cab driver's chagrin. (The cab driver in the front looked in his rear view mirror and gave his _own_ smirk at the driver in the rear. Daria looked at the cab driver in the rear, smirked, and gave a slow, drawn-out motion with her thumb going across her throat, like a pirate gives the _"cut-throat"_ signal. The driver in the rear _glared_ at Daria for a second before following the other cab away. Amy then got into her car, and _winked_ at Darren, who smiled, and slightly _blushed_. She then backed her car into the street and took off. Helen, Jake, Quinn, and Daria looked at Darren, inquisitive.

DARIA: _(Eyebrow cocked:)_ What in the hell was _that_ all about, bro?

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ Aunt Amy was giving me some _encouragement_, sis--that's all. We just talked about a few--_personal_ things. _(Starts to go back into the house with the others)_

HELEN: _(Smirks, half-joking:)_ Should I be _worried_ about some _"competition"_, son? _(Daria rolls her eyes at this, remembering the last time Amy was here)_

DARREN: _(Puts his arm around his birth mother, smirks:)_ Nah--everything's _kosher_.

QUINN: _(Suddenly grabs her brother's other arm:)_ C'mon, bro--let me show you what fashions I think are gonna be in for the _fall--(pulls Darren away from a surprised Helen)_

DARIA: --The "fall" of _"skorts"_, or the "fall" of _"schrungies"_? What will you do--what _will_ you do? _(Darren chuckles)_

QUINN: _(Annoyed:) Ha_, Daria. _(Pulls Darren into the house)_

JAKE: _(Shouts after Darren:)_ Hey, Big Guy--don't forget about watching the 'ol baseball game with me after you talk to Quinn!

DARREN: _(Being pulled up the stairs with Quinn:)_ I woooon't! _(Goes out of sight upstairs, while Jake goes into the living room)_

HELEN: _(Looks up the stairs while walking inside with the others:)_ Well, Quinn certainly seems _taken_ with her brother--

DARIA: --Don't you mean he's being "taken" _from_ us? When he comes out, he'll _never_ be the same again after she finishes _boring_ him to death with her clothes _crap_.

HELEN: _(Frowns:)_ Now, Daria--Darren has been _very_ supportive of your sister in helping her get the feel of what to expect at Circa for her internship, fashion-wise. You _have_ to admit Quinn is becoming more _determined_ about her grades because of her brother's dogged _encouragement_.

DARIA: _(Grudgingly admits, sighs:)_ I _suppose_ so. I just hope Quinn doesn't _wear_ him out while Darren's doing it.

HELEN: _(Smirks:)_ I wouldn't _underestimate_ Darren, sweetie--he held up fine after our _relatives_ came to visit us, right?

DARIA: _(Stares at her mother for a moment, ponders:)_ Hmm--you got me there, Mom--anybody who can _survive "F-Day"_ is okay in my book--speaking of which, I've going to read one up in my room. _(Goes up the stairs)_

HELEN: _(Watches her go up:)_ All right, Daria. _(Turns to go into the living room to catch up on a little work Eric wants her to do while finishing up her vacation, then pauses, speaks in a low voice to herself:) "F-Day"_? What's _that_? Oh, well..._(shrugs, goes into living room) (Outside in the distance, thunder is heard)_

(The scene is Darren's room, about 11:00 p.m.)

Darren came in, almost _exhausted_. Between his relative's "visit", (chaos included) Quinn's excitement over the newest fashion craze, and Jake's constant _wild_ hollering at the TV screen during the baseball game (what was shown between the _power outages_ from the _ferocious_ storm outside), Darren found himself in a continual _whirlwind_ of activity, and was grateful that the day was coming to an end. While watching the game, Daria, who had to stop reading occasionally because of the power outages, told him he might have to get up in a few hours if Daria's friend Jane and her mother called to pick them up at the airport, but that was no big deal. All-in-all, an--interesting, if not--_fasinating_ day. He plopped down face-first on the bed, ready to sleep, when his cell phone rang. He looked at it, cocked an eyebrow, and reached to answer it. Probably _Curtis_. Great--what would he tell his best friend about _still_ not telling the Morgendorffers who he really was? He pondered that for a moment, then decided to _definitely_ tell them _tomorrow_, so he wouldn't _technically_ be _lying_ to Curtis when he would tell him that he _did_ already. His birth family had a _right_ to know what who he was. Darren sat up on the bed, took a deep breath, and picked up his cell phone, clicking it on.

DARREN: _(Talking wearily:)_ Yeah, Curtis?

VOICE: Actually, Darren, this is _not_ your friend Curtis.

DARREN: _(Surprised:) Woo_? _(Is suddenly startled for a moment from the sound of thunder outside)_

WOO: _(Hears the thunder from over the phone:)_ Having quite a summer storm, I see.

DARREN: Yes, a real _doozy_ of a storm, Woo--there's already some flooding near Lawndale--we're okay, though.

WOO: Ah, good--did I call at a bad time? You told me that you had your relatives over today when I last talked to you--is anyone there with you?

DARREN: _(Now more alert from the thunder and from talking to Woo:)_ No, everyone's gone home, and I'm in my room alone--what's up? Found _something_?

WOO: _(Grows quiet, takes on a serious tone:)_ You might _say_ that--_brace_ yourself, Darren--

About several minutes later, Darren stared at his phone in utter _disbelief_, his mouth agape. This _couldn't_ be happening. Had to be some sort of _nightmare_--that's it--when he _pinched_ himself, he'd _wake up_ from it. _Wake up, damn it--wake up_. First _Stephanie_. Second, the _death_ of whom he _thought_ were his birth parents. Third, learning he was _adopted_. Fourth, the _way_ his _"adoption"_ took place. Now, fifth--_this_. He continued to stare at the phone for a moment more until Woo's _shouts_ shook him out of his daze.

WOO: Darren?! Darren, are you still there?

DARREN: _(Weakly:)_ Yes, Woo--I'm still here. This is just _not_ possible--this--this _"Sanchez"_ murdering my parents? _Hired_ to make it _look_ like an _accident_? _(Voice grows low, speaks through clenched teeth, angry:) Who--why--how--_?

WOO: I don't know, Darren, but as I said, if the police or the NTSB are told, it could _alert_ the person or persons who've done this go _after_ Sanchez, and _silence_ him before we can get to him. Our best hope is _finding_ Sanchez, confronting him, and getting the information out of him. _(Pauses:)_ You said you _haven't_ told the Morgendorffers who you are--maybe it's _best_ if you don't until we find Sanchez because it could _drag_ them into this if that person or persons come _after_ you.

DARREN: _(Frustrated tone:)_ I--I can't believe this, Woo! I was going to tell my birth family who I was _tomorrow_, and now you're telling me I shouldn't because of _this_? _(Narrows eyes, realizes:) Back up_ a moment--are you saying that the Morgendorffers could be in _danger_? 

WOO: _(Hesitates:) Possibly_, Darren, _(adds quickly:)_ though I don't believe they could be in it _directly_--who _knows_ you're in Lawndale?

DARREN: _(Thinks:)_ Let's see--Curtis, obviously, my aunt Millie, Elenor, Claude, and, oh, yes, my _uncle Will_. No one else knows, I'm _positive. (Becomes alarmed:)_ Do you think anyone could come after _them_ as well as the Morgendorffers and me?

WOO: _(After being silent for a moment:)_ Not your friend Curtis or your servants--they don't poise a threat, and now when I _think_ about it, the Morgendorffers obviously the same. _(Darren breathes a small sigh of relief:)_ Your aunt Millie isn't much into the business, so I can't fathom someone going after her. This is all about getting Appleton Industries, I'm sure.

DARREN: So it comes down to me and uncle Will. _(Eyes light up, alarmed:)_ Maybe I should _warn_ him--

WOO: _(Sounding alarmed himself:) No_, Darren--_(calms down:)_ ah, remember, we don't want to give the person or persons who've done this any opportunity to know that someone knows what they've done. If your uncle finds out, er--he could be on _pins and needles_ like you are, and if whoever did this is on the _inside_ of Appleton, will know by your uncle's sudden change in _behavior_ that something's up. Let us find Sanchez first, and _then_ we can warn your uncle.

DARREN: _(Ponders:)_ Well, okay, Woo--if that's what you think best. _(Grows solemn:)_ I guess--I guess I can keep this to _myself_ for now, and wait to tell the Morgendorffers later.

WOO: Thank you, Darren--and we're checking out Sanchez's hangouts. We're going to be moving as fast as we can on this, so hang in there. Take care.

DARREN: Sure, Woo--and do _whatever_ it takes, okay?

WOO: Of course, Darren. Good night.

DARREN: Good night, Woo. _(Clicks off phone) (Thought v.o.: I can't tell **anyone** about this--not without **dragging** them into it, and possibly putting their **lives** in danger. I'm **alone**, all alone.) (Lays back on the bed, turns off lamp light beside his bed, stares at the ceiling, wide-eyed, still in shock. The thunder, lightning, and heavy rain is still going on outside while Darren is doing this)_

_(Scene changes to Woo's office, Los Angeles)_

Woo hung up the phone and turned to David, a husky, blond-haired, blue-eyed tanned man with a goatee. David was reading the _business_ section of the paper.

WOO: _(Cold, serious sound in his voice:)_ We've got our work _cut out_ for us, David--but at least we have _some_ place to start--_(points at the paper:) Leonard Potter_. First thing in the morning, I'm going to pay Appleton's newest West coast legal head a little _visit_--and find out what in the _hell_ is going on with _why_ William Appleton brought him out here. _(David nods his head in the affirmative)_

_(End Part Three)_


	10. Chapter 10

"Revelations--A 'Daria' Fanfic" Part 4 By Steven Galloway SGall23241@aol.com 

_(To the reader: Still here, eh? You know the drill--**no** recaps. Read it like a **book**! Now, on with the story.)_

Chapter 10-I.O.U.

The storm from the previous night had finally abated into a misty rain outside the Morgendorffer home. In his room, Darren slowly opened his eyes, and saw a nodding and snoring _Jake Morgendorffer_ sitting beside the bed, with his arms crossed. By now, Darren had become _used_ to seeing his birth father in this way, not even flinching anymore. Darren quietly chuckled to himself as he slowly slid out of the bed on the other side. He tiptoed around his bed, so as not to disturb Jake, and gently laid Jake, who was mumbling in his sleep about Helen not letting him do anything, (to which Darren cocked a quick, amused eyebrow at this,) down on the bed, covering Jake with the bedsheet. Darren then put on his housecoat over his pajamas, quietly gathered his jogging clothing out of his dresser (he decided to get his red hooded sweatshirt to wear with his white sweatpants after he got a quick look out of the window), socks and shoes, and slipped out of his room.

Darren went in the bathroom and changed into his jogging clothes. He wished he could've used his dumbells to stretch before he went jogging, but thought the better of it, as it would disturb Jake. Darren carefully folded up his pajamas and housecoat, and put them on top of the clothes hamper. He quietly came out of the bathroom and went down to the living room. Since he wasn't awoken by Daria during the night on going to the local airport to pick up Daria's friend Jane and her mother, he assumed that Trent had picked them up already--with what was on his mind, he was privately _grateful_ for the sleep, which surprisingly was fitful. Darren suspected it was because of the rain that pelted the roof--he could always sleep better at night when it rained.

As he stepped out of the house while stretching, Darren immediately saw that the storm had caused some branches from the trees around the neighborhood to fall down on the street and in the yards. He pulled his hood over his head, and stepped out into the damp, misty air, and started to jog. If this had been any other day, Darren would've considered not going out, but he needed to get out and think about what Woo had told him last night.

_Murdered_. His parents were murdered by a hired killer. This was _beyond_ incredible--and this "Sanchez" _bastard_ was still out there. Darren secretly wished he could _find_ him, and--_no_. That _wasn't_ him. He had almost went over the _edge_ when Turley told him how Turley switched him for the dead baby by _choking_ Turley--and that _scared_ him.

But _who_ could have done it? It _had_ to be someone wanting to get control of Appleton Industries, like Woo had speculated. He remembered when he was given the Chairmanship of Appleton Industries through the reading of the business will, and the _chaos_ that ensued immediately afterwards, as well as when he chose his uncle to head everything--the _same_ thing had happened. Could it have been someone _there_? He thought about the people who had attended the reading of the business will--most of them were _ambitious_--a good trait to have when it came to wanting to be a success. Maybe one of them went too far with _wanting_ that success? Just thinking about that gave Darren the _chills_. He suddenly thought about his uncle's right-hand man, _Benny Lodell_--now _there_ was a man that didn't like Darren for _some_ reason--Darren could _feel_ the _hate_ resonating from Lodell when Darren went around him. Of course, there's always the very real fact that somebody out there doesn't like you, no matter how nice you are to them--Lodell seemed to be that way to Darren. He shook his head quickly as to get the thought out of his mind, and continued to jog.

Darren's jogging route went from the Morgendorffers, near the Cranberry Commons Mall, past Lawndale High School, by Quinn's favorite restaurant, _Chez Pierre_, (Where Darren had promised to take Quinn tomorrow afternoon, whereas Daria had respectfully declined to go) and Darren also jogged past the exclusive neighborhood called _Crewe Neck_, and then proceeded to go near the area's unstable landfill. All throughout the jog, he had to contend with the misty conditions, but it wasn't enough to really slow him down. He saw more tree branches on the ground and on the streets, as well as some minor flooding, with the water receeding into the gutters. Here, he treaded carefully, avoiding the water--good thing his hooded outfit and jogging shoes were waterproofed.

_(Note to reader: See "The Daria Diaries" for Darren's jogging route--I'm guessing that from looking at the map, Lawndale is about 10 to 20 square miles in size--quite possibly someone in great shape could jog around the tiny suburban town, at least around the shopping district and the homes that surround it)_

As he was jogging near the unstable landfill, (Daria had warned him not to go across it, because of the possiblity of _sinkholes_ that could be formed from the old landfill's light soil, epecially after it rains), he heard a _scream_ that sounded like a female's. Responding to it, he rushed onto the landfill, getting some mud on his sneakers and sweatpants, and saw that indeed a sinkhole, about 20 feet in diameter had formed, probably because of the torrential rain from last night, but he could only see on its top edge. He carefully came up to it, and peered over. The sight in front of him made his heart race with _fear_.

In the middle of the sinkhole, (about 12 feet deep) there was a mud-covered person, possibly the female, struggling like mad to get out. The person, however, thanks to the mud-covered walls that were collapsing as fast as that person was trying to scale them, was making _no_ headway--in fact, it only made it _worse_ by attempting to do so because the person then began to _sink_ in the thick muddy pool that was in the middle of it. The mud was quickly up to the figure's _shoulders_, and getting worse. The figure screamed _again_--definitely a female's voice--a _teenager_. The young woman then began to sink to her neck, gasping for air in the mud.

Looking frantically around outside the pit, Darren saw nothing he could use to lower over the edge and use to pull the young woman out of the sinkhole--the whole landfill was one large muddy bed. He looked back into the sinkhole. the head of the young woman had almost gone under, and her arms were still flailing around--but they were slowing down from exaustion.

DARREN: _(Screaming and still looking around:)_ Try to be _still_! Moving around only makes it _worse_! The mud is like _quicksand_! _(Focuses on the young woman:)_ Do you _understand_ me?!

The mud-covered young woman, apparently so covered now that she couldn't see _where_ the voice had come from, nodded in a direction that was pointed _away_ from Darren for a second, (the mud had kept her from speaking now--it was so thick) but then she started to sink a little _more_, and then panicked, giving a muffled scream, and the mud started to get _higher_ on her face. Darren looked into the pit and saw something that could help--thanks to the still-collapsing mud walls, a large, long-buried thick tree root was now protruding out from the side of the sinkhole, opposite from him. It was on the side that was a little _lower_ than on Darren's. He rushed to the side where the tree root was sticking out, and carefully slid down the walls, grabbing on the root for support, and effectively putting himself at risk. If the root suddenly fell out, then he and the young woman would be in trouble because the mud-covered walls could keep them _both_ in, for there was no traction to grab onto anything else. He then looked for the head of the young woman.

There were _bubbles_ in the mud where the head once was. The young woman was _gone_ beneath the mud.

Now frantic, he reached over to where the head was, using his right arm and hand to feel around through the thick mud, splashing it around while holding on to the root using his left hand. For a moment, he felt _nothing_--then his hand _grabbed_ the shoulder of the young woman, and he used his arm to reach under and around her, pulling her out of the mud. The woman was _limp_. Darren, now himself completely covered with mud, couldn't tell if she was alive. He looked back at the root to see if it had gave, but it didn't--thank _God_ it didn't. He pulled himself and the young woman up the root, and struggled to get both of them out of the sinkhole. For the next 10 seconds or so, it was touch-and-go, but eventually, he got himself and the young woman out. Carrying the young woman in his arms a safe distance away from the edge (in case it collapsed even more, thus possibly causing them to fall back in), he gently laid her on her back, and put his finger on her neck, checking for a pulse--which he did _not_ get. He positioned her head for CPR, breathing in her mouth, and listening for any breathing from her. He did this a few times more, then the young woman suddenly awoke, coughing and spitting up mud out of her lungs, and gasping for air. She fluttered opened her eyes and saw the mud-covered man who had saved her life. She started to sit up.

DARREN: _(Immediately speaks in a gentle tone:)_ Careful, miss--don't get up _too_ quickly. You don't want to get dizzy. _(Pauses:)_ How do you _feel_?

YOUNG WOMAN: _(Still coughing and gasping:)_ L-like an _idiot_. I've gone over that area a whole _damn_ number of times, and nothing's _ever_ happened to me like that before. I _knew_ it was _unstable_, but jogging across it saved me time. Damned _landfill--(slaps her leg in disgust, splashing up mud:)_ damned, damned, _DAMNED_, landfill! Damned _IDIOT_!

DARREN: _(Slightly taken aback from the young woman's reaction:)_ Hey, take it _easy_--you're _alive_ at least--_(chuckles:)_ nothing _"idiotic"_ about _that_.

YOUNG WOMAN: _(Grows quiet, looks directly at the man:)_ Yeah, I am--thanks to _you. (Offers her mud-covered hand:) Jane Lane's_ my name--your's?

DARREN: _(Stunned, shakes her hand:) J-Jane Lane_? _Daria's_ friend Jane?

JANE: _(Eyebrow cocked beneath her mud-covered face:) Uh-huh_--how do you know Daria? _(Pauses:)_ Hey, are you from Lawndale High?

DARREN: _(Smiles sheepishly under his mud-covered face:)_ Ah, no--you see, I'm _Darren_--Daria and Quinn's _brother_, and Helen and Jake Morgendorffer's _son_.

JANE: _(Eyes light up, shocked:)_ Well, I'll be _damned--(smirks:)_ so _you're_ the _"Big Bro". (Starts to get up:)_ What a way to _"meet"_, eh? _(Thought v.o.: **Crap**! I can't see how he __looks_ under that all that damn mud--just have to wait until we're cleaned up, I guess.)

DARREN: _(Helps Jane up by her arm, sounding a little concerned:) Easy_, Jane--don't get up _too_ fast, now. The blood could _rush_ to your head.

JANE: _(Stands up with Darren, a bit unsteady:) Whoa_--yeah, I see what you mean. Thanks, Darren.

DARREN: You're welcome, Jane--_(gives a quick smile:)_ I wouldn't want Daria's _"Partner In Crime"_ to hurt herself trying to get up. _(Pauses, looks in the direction of the sinkhole:)_ I suppose we'd better call someone and tell them about that sinkhole, don't you think? We don't want anyone _else_ to fall in.

JANE: _(Looks in the same direction, smirks:)_ Good idea--one person _per_ sinkhole should be the _standard_ from now on. _(Pauses:)_ Tell ya what--_I'll_ do the callin' when I get home, and before I change, capeesh? _(Starts walking with Darren away from the old landfill)_

DARREN: Okay, that sounds reasonable. So--what _time_ did you and your mother get in last night? I'm assuming Trent was waiting for both of you at the airport--?

JANE: Yeah, we got in about _1:30_ this morning--the plane had to _circle_ the airport for about 20 minutes until we could land, it was so stormy. The surprising thing about Trent was that he was wide _awake_ and waiting for us when we got in--_(chuckles:)_ I'm going out on a limb and say it was the thunder and lighting that _kept_ him awake in the airport terminal--_(adds as an afterthought:)_ oh, and I guess he was also kind of _worried_ about us, too.

DARREN: _(Laughs:)_ Uh, yes--Daria told me about Trent's rather--_narcoleptic_ tendencies.

JANE: _(Nods her head, smirks:) Uh-huh_. Anyway, my mom and I had our first look at Mystik Spiral's "new" used van, too. Trent's car is in the shop, being repaired, and he's the one using it to drive around until he gets his own car back. As for that van--_(in a mock commercial-sounding voice:) "New interior van" fresh smell_! _No more "pukey-like" aroma_! _No more "beer-like" stench_! _(Goes into a faux sorrowful mode:) It just won't be the same's, I tells ya. (Snaps fingers in mock frustration:)_ Aw shucks--I'm gonna miss not having _that_ in the "new" Tank!

DARREN: _(Looks over at Jane, chuckles, thought v.o.: Daria said Jane had a bit of a **twisted** sense of humor--let's see if I can add a little of my own--no need to let her have all the fun:)_ Well, maybe Mystik Spiral needs to _break_ it in, first--who knows? A little _beer and vomit_ here and there, and I'll bet you won't be able to _tell_ the difference! _(Looks up, mock ponders:)_ Oh, give it about, umm, _six_ months, and you'll have that vaunted, old-reliable smell, _guaranteed_!

JANE: _(Cuts her eyes over to Darren, smirks, thought v.o.: So, the boy **does** have a sense of humor--that little "trick" he played on Quinn, notwithstanding:)_ Oh, I don't know, Darren--Trent said that he and the guys want to keep the "new" Tank _clean_ inside. _(Darren cocks an eyebrow in surprise beneath his mud-covered face)_ I couldn't believe it, but it seems like they're really _serious_ about it--like they have a _renewed_ sense of purpose. Trent told us that the _"Mysterious Benefactor's"_ financial _"help"_ made him and the guys think--_hard_. He told me that if someone as _rich_ as this person could give them _$8,000_ and tell them to not give up on their _dreams_, then the guys figure they could at least go _all out_ and not give up, if not for the "benefactor's" sake, then _themselves. (Darren smiles to himself over this) (Jane then ponders for a moment:)_ I told Daria yesterday I wish I knew _who_ this person was--from what I heard from Trent, the way he and the guys have been _going_ since that generous gift, makes me wish I could _thank_ them for doing something like that.

DARREN: _(Holds down the satisfaction he feels after hearing Jane:)_ Daria told me she thought that this "Mysterious Benefactor" had some sort of ulterior _motive_ for doing something like that. _(Pauses:)_ Do _you_ think he or she did?

JANE: _(Shrugs:)_ I dunno--what would be the _point_? It's not like Mystik Spiral's _successful_ enough to warrant any special attention, or something. _(Pauses:)_ Daria's just, you know--

DARREN: _(Laughs, nods his muddy head slowly:) --Daria_, I'm beginning to _understand_ that. Don't take this the wrong way, but is it _me_, or is she really _unyielding_ when it comes to judging other people when they don't meet up to her _standards_?

JANE: _(Rolls her eyes:) Oooooh_ yeah. Daria's standards are _unique_, to say the least. A _cynical_ outlook when it comes to life, _mistrust_ of authority, the hard, harsh light of _reality_, etcetera, etcetera--you know, the _usual_ stuff.

DARREN: _(Gets quiet:)_ How are _you_ her friend, Jane? You seem to be more, well--

JANE: --_Open_ to more things in life than she is? I guess you can say that I'm kind of _like_ her--_enough_ to pass her _"standards"_, but I'm more willing to be _tolerant_ of people's _shortcomings_ than Daria is--don't ask me why, I just am. _Underneath_, though, I know Daria has a _good_ heart.

DARREN: _(Nods in an understanding manner:)_ Yes, I know. Did Daria tell you about _Quinn_, and what I'm trying to do with her?

JANE: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Yeah! She said that you're gonna perform some sort of _"miracle"_ and help Quinn get into a fashion school--after she becomes an intern on a summer job working at a fashion company, or something.

DARREN: _(Grins:)_ Well, _"miracle"_ may be a bit too _strong_ of a description. Quinn's going to have to do _her_ part. She's going to have to work really _hard_ to get in, school-wise _and_ work-wise. _(Pauses:)_ Believe it or not, I think I'm getting _through_ to her.

JANE: _(Snorts:)_ Well, good luck with _"Quinny-poo"_--she's gonna _need_ it. _(Darren gives a little snicker at this)_

Having seen no one else as of yet, the two walked down the broken branched-covered street in the still-misty morning, they went past the abandoned quarry, and here encountered two county maintenance men who were gathering up the broken branches, and putting them in a garbage truck. The two men, a tall, skinny fellow, and a short, fat fellow, stopped and looked at the mud-covered Jane and Darren, and _smirked_.

SKINNY MAN: _(Starts to laugh, points at Jane and Darren:)_ W-what in the _hell_ is _that_, Roy?

FAT MAN: _(Ditto:)_ L-looks like the _pigs_ have escaped their _pens_, Harry!

JANE: _(Smirks evilly, leans over to Darren, and speaks in a low voice:) Pigs and pens_, huh? Seems like _Mutt and Jeff_ over there are looking at us like we're _freaks_. I'm gonna _scare_ 'em off, and remind them to mind their _own_ damn business.

DARREN: _(Looks a Jane a little uneasily, speaks in the same low tone as her:)_ Ah, what are you going to _do_?

JANE: _(While walking slowly forward towards the men:) Watch. (Stops about ten feet in front of the two men, and then suddenly starts to jump up and down, and screams:) WAAAUGH_! _EEEEYARGH_! _OOGA-BOOGA-BOO_! _OINK_! _(Starts to suddenly run at the two wise-guys)_

The eyes of the two men suddenly grew wide, looked at each other terrified, and they dropped the branches they were carrying, and ran for their lives, screaming and shouting all the while, eventually running out of sight. Jane stopped and watched them go, pointing at them and laughing hysterically. Darren looked at her for a second, stunned, then began to _join_ in as well. Both started to continue on their way.

DARREN: _(Still laughing:)_ D-Daria's _right_--y-you _are_ a _wicked_ woman, Jane--

JANE: _(While laughing as well:)_ --And I'm _damned_ proud of it too, _"Kimosabe"_--'till the day I _di--(stops in her tracks, realizes what she was about to say, grows quiet:) God. (Looks up at Darren, suddenly afraid, who has stopped along with Jane, looking at her, baffled:)_ I-I _almost_ d-did, didn't I? Y-you did _save_ my life. _(Pauses:)_ I-I guess I _owe_ you, huh?

DARREN: _(Looks down at Jane, grows quiet himself, tries to look for words:)_ Hey, uh--I just did the _right_ thing, Jane, that's all--you don't owe me _anything_, okay?

JANE: _(Narrows her eyes on her mud-covered face up at Darren, walks up to him, sounding angry:)_ You're _kidding_, right? Are you saying my _life's_ not _worth_ anything, Darren?!

DARREN: _(Taken aback, slightly stunned, holds up hands:) No, no_, Jane! I-I'm just saying that you don't feel like you _have_ to owe anything to me for that, that's all! _(Pauses, chuckles uneasily:)_ Besides, if I didn't think it was _worth_ anything, I wouldn't have tried to _preserve_ it, right? _(Starts walking immediately from Jane to try and alleviate the tension in the air:)_ Um, we'd better _hurry_ up and get on, don't you think? Even though the misty rain is keeping the mud on us moist, I'm _still_ starting to feel uncomfortable, if you know what I mean. _(Uses his hands to slide a glob from his arms, plops it on the ground) Ugh._

Jane stared at Darren walking away for a second, then began to follow him.

JANE: _(Comes up beside Darren, thought v.o.: Don't think you're **off** the hook, buster--I **owe** you, and I'm gonna **pay** you back for saving me.:)_ Sorry to _snap_ at you like that, Darren, and you're right about thinking enough about it to try and "preserve" it--it's just that the _reality_ of _death_ that's _hit_ me in the _face_, okay? _(Darren gives Jane a sympathetic nod and smile) (Jane pauses, changes tone:)_ So, um, _how_ did you _find_ Daria and her--_your_ family?

DARREN: _(Glances down at Jane sideways, smirks:)_ You know, I could take that question _one_ of _two_ ways, Jane. _(Jane chuckles)_ In this case, I'm _assuming_ that you're wondering about how I came to _discover_ that the Morgendorffers were my birth family, and how I came to be adopted in the first place. I kind of figured that you'd want to hear my story _with_ Daria in tow. _(Pauses, realizes something:)_ Say--wouldn't have _Trent_ told you? Daria said that you talked with him occasionally while you were on vacation.

JANE: _(Waves him off:)_ True--but he said that the story he heard was _so_ unbelievable, that it was too much to get into over the phone--like Daria had told me--and that I should get it from her. Since _you're_ here, however, you can give me the _shorthand_ version if you like, and Daria can help you fill in the blanks later.

DARREN: _(Hesitates:)_ Well--okay, but you'd better _prepare_ yourself, Jane--it isn't a _pretty_ story.

JANE: _(Cocks an inquisitive eyebrow up at Darren:)_ Somehow, I'm not too _surprised_ to hear that. _Shoot_.

_(Scene changes to the Morgendorffer's home, about the same time)_

Helen, who had awoke and found that Jake wasn't beside her in bed, got up and looked around for him in the house, stopping only to make a quick call on her cell phone in the kitchen. When she had searched around a little more and found nothing, she had a hunch and peeped into _Darren's_ room. Surely enough, she saw Jake sleeping _in_ Darren's bed. Helen walked up to the bed and gently shook Jake.

HELEN: Jake--Jake--_(shakes him a little harder:) JAKE_!

JAKE: _(Wakes up:)_ Wha-huh? _(Sees a scowling Helen, becomes meek, pulls sheet up to his chin in fear:)_ Oh, um, _hi_, honey!

HELEN: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Jake, haven't we gone over this _before_ when I caught you in here a _few_ days ago while Darren had gone on one of his jogs? Darren's too _polite_ to say anything, but you've got to stop watching _over_ our son! He's practically a _(sighs:) grown_ man!

JAKE: _(In his "whiny" mode:)_ But, Helen, I can't _help_ it! I just wanna be there for him if he _needs_ me! _(Becomes solemn, looks down:)_ I mean, _I_ wasn't there for him all those _years_, but that _"Walter"_ guy was. _(Looks at Helen forlornly:)_ He calls me _"Jake"_, and you _"Helen", not_ "Dad" and "Mom" to us! _(Frowns, slams the palm of his hand on top of the bed:)_ It's just not _fair_, damn it! _(Pauses, grows quiet:)_ Helen, it's just like my Old Man wasn't there for _me_--except to _berate_ me all the _damn_ time! _(Helen sits down beside him, pats Jake on the back gently)_

HELEN: _(Sighs, gently turns his head to her, looks at him in the eye:)_ Jakey, it wasn't your fault. _(Emphasizes again:) Wasn't-your-fault_. Your father _chose_ to treat you the way _he_ wanted to--you didn't have a _choice_ in the matter of raising our son--_(looks off in space, narrows eyes:)_ thanks to that _S.O.B. Turley. (Looks back at Jake:)_ We can be thankful that Darren's here with us _now_, and that he turned out to be such a _fine_ young man--that's all we can do. _(Becomes quiet, looks off again:)_ Maybe _someday_, he can call _us_ "Mom" and "Dad". _(Looks back at Jake:)_ For now, dear--I want you to _promise_ me that you won't watch over our son like that again, okay? _Please_? He's _safe_ right here, and he's not going anywhere.

JAKE: _(Looks away, snorts:) Yeah_, Helen--just back to _Eastward_ and then living with his _aunt_--what's her _name_ again? Oh yeah, _Millie_, and not with _us_.

HELEN: _(In a gentle tone:)_ Now, Jakey--he can come and _visit_ us, and I'm sure that eventually, we can visit _him_, too.

JAKE: _(Sounds sheepish, slowly looks at Helen:)_ I guess so, honey--_(takes a deep breath, and gets a determined look on his face:)_ and I promise _not_ to sit beside Darren's _bed_ again!

HELEN: _(Looks up in mock thought, playfully chuckles:) Weeell_--I suppose if he gets _sick_ or something, that's okay, Jakey.

JAKE: _(Now back to his usual "chipper" self, giving a thumbs-up:)_ A-okay, honey!

HELEN: _(Smiles:)_ Good--now get up and out of that bed, mister--we don't want Darren to find you in here when he comes back from his jog now, do we? _(Stands up)_

JAKE: _(Gets up as well:) Okey-dokey_!

Daria, who had gotten up to get a glass of water, had been out in the hallway listening to Helen and Jake talk. After cocking a slight eyebrow to her father complaining about Darren calling him and her mother by their _first_ names, she listened a little more, then went back into her room unseen after they had finished.

Quinn, who was half-dozing in her bed at the time Daria had walked by her room, had become fully awake when she heard Daria. Quinn slipped out of her bed, opening her door _ever_ so slightly and peeked into the hallway where she saw Daria listen to Helen and Jake talk, which by the way, Quinn could also hear herself. She saw Daria turn around from the door when their parents had finished, and Quinn quickly, but quietly, shut the door before Daria could see her. Quinn crawled back into her bed, and lying back on her pillows, put her arms under her head, looking at the ceiling with her eyes narrowed, thinking.

_(Scene goes back to Jane and Darren, this time in front of the Lane home)_

Jane couldn't believe her mud-covered ears. Darren's parents being killed (he didn't say how), and then of his learning of being adopted, and the kicker--being _illegally_ adopted because of some _sicko's_ gambling obsession, and being taken away from the Morgendorffers while just a baby, being substituted for a _dead_ one. It sounded like a _nightmare_, except it was all _too_ real for Darren. Jane thought that _no_ one had had it harder than she did growing up, because her parents and siblings were all over the place, save for home. Only _Trent_ was there for her--but at least she _knew_ about what her family was all about. Darren _never_ knew about his birth family until his adopted parents were killed. _Hell_ of a way to find out. _Damn_--listen to this guy, and you can only feel _sorry_ for him. Still, he seems like a genuinely _nice_ fellow, so his adopted parents must've done a good job raising him. Jane briefly wondered if that was a _wash_ either way? Daria said her always-on-the-go parents met _Quinn's_ needs almost all the time _before_ they met hers, and look how _"Miss Everything-Revolves-Around-Me"_ turned out, as opposed to Daria. What _kind_ of _"attention"_ would've _Darren_ gotten from them? _Crap--maybe, just maybe, this guy was **better off** growing up under his adopted parents, Jane. Maybe--_

DARREN: _(Waves a hand in front of Jane's face, chuckles:)_ Uh, _"Earth to Jane"_--are you _there_?

JANE: _(Snaps out of her deep thought:) Hah_? Oh, um--sorry. I was just thinking over what happened to you. How--how could you _stand_ to go through all of that?

DARREN: _(Thought v.o.: You think that's all, Jane? Not by a **country** mile:)_ Well, learning about the Morgendorffers helped keep me going, Jane--that and my friend and aunt.

JANE: _(Smirks, thinks for a moment:)_ Tell you what--how about _we_ be friends? _(Holds out her muddy right hand)_

DARREN: _(Shakes her hand with his muddy right one as well, smiles:)_ Actually, kind of I thought we _already_ were, but I suppose we can make it _official_.

JANE: _(Strikes a dramatic false poise:)_ I hereby declare us to be _good_ friends, dear sir! _(Laughs)_

DARREN: _(Grins:)_ So be it! _(Pauses, laughs, jokes:)_ You don't think this will get Tom _jealous_, do you?

Jane _slowly_ stopped laughing, and frowned to herself, deep in thought. Darren caught on to this, and added his own frown, perplexed by Jane's sudden change.

DARREN: _(Slowly speaks:)_ Uh, did I say something _wrong_?

JANE: _(Comes out of her deep-thinking mode:)_ Huh? Oh, no--I was just--_thinking_ about Tom--yes, um, when you said his _name_--?

DARREN: _(Seemingly satisfied with what Jane's explanation:)_ Ah, okay--I'm sure you really _missed_ him. _(Jane looks away for a moment, in deep thoughts again) (Darren pauses:)_ I guess I'll see you at the Morgendorffer's after we both clean up, then?

JANE: _(Grins:)_ Wild _horses_ couldn't keep me from going over there, Darren. _(Thought v.o.: And I can see how you **look**, buster.)_ And then you and Daria can come over here and look at what art I've done while on vacation. Daria said that you saw a little bit of it in the living room when you guys came over our house.

DARREN: Yes, but we didn't stay long because of Trent and Mystik Spiral's _"problem"_--which of course has apparently been _"solved"_ now. From what I saw, your paintings in the living room displayed a tremendous amount of _abstract expressionism_--very powerful _emotions_ are being brought out from some of your work. _(Pauses:)_ Were you influenced by artists like _Picasso_ and _Goya_, by any chance?

JANE: _(Cocks an eyebrow, inwardly impressed by Darren's knowledge of art:) Yeah_--you could say that--plus a little of my _own_ emotions thrown in on the side to put on the canvas for all the world to see. _(Pauses, smirks:)_ You're planning to use your business knowledge to become an _art critic_, bub?

DARREN: _(Laughs:)_ No, not really--you see, I learned from my er, (adopted) dad and uncle about some art. I have a art class at Eastward also, and I've--_dabbled_ in some painting _myself_, nothing much, mind you.

JANE: _(Smiles:)_ Hey, art's _art_, no matter how long or much anyone's done it. Hmm--maybe I can see some of your artwork someday?

DARREN: _(Shrugs, smiles back sheepishly:)_ I guess--_someday. (Pauses:)_ I assume that you plan to go to an art college or university after high school--?

JANE: You betcha--I'm thinking about going to the _New York City Art School_.

DARREN: _(Thinks, looks up:)_ Yes--that _is_ quite a prestigious art school--about _30 minutes_ from Eastward College, I believe.

JANE: _(Thinks about the close distance for some reason, smirks:) That_ close, huh?

DARREN: Yes. _(Looks off in the direction of the Morgendorffers:)_ Well, I'd better take off, Jane--see you in an--hour-and-a-half or something---?

JANE: Yeah, sure, okay. _(Pauses:)_ See you then.

DARREN: See you. _(Leaves)_

Jane watched Darren leave up the misty street, a bit _longer_ than she intended, then walked into her home. Immediately, she saw Trent sprawled out on the couch in the living room, snoring. She looked as if she was about to say something, but she smirked, and shook her head slowly--the boy had _earned_ his rest this time by picking her and her mom up from the airport early this morning--she decided to _let_ him rest. Jane then went up to her room to call about the sinkhole to the authorities--and then to shower and change as quickly as possible to meet the _newest_ member of the Morgendorffer's family.

Several minutes later, and after enduring some _hard_ stares from the neighbors (at which he had been _tempted_ several times to do what _Jane_ had done to get rid of those people), Darren came up to the Morgendorffer's home. He was about to ring the doorbell as usual when he looked down at himself and remembered that he'd _better_ let someone in the house get a towel to wipe off some of the mud so he would be able to walk in without tracking mud on the rug. Darren took off his mud-soaked socks and shoes, and was about to ring the doorbell when he noticed a man and a woman walking up the driveway. He turned to them.

MAN: _(In a syrupy nice voice:)_ Hi, we're the _Gupty's_, and we've just come from our _vacation_ last night, and heard about--_(looks at Darren strangely:) oh_--my--_Lord_--

WOMAN: _(With an equally strange look on her face, and an equally syrupy nice voice:)_ --W-who--_what_ are you, sir? Why do you look like _that_?

DARREN: _(Looks down at himself, and then back up at the Guptys:)_ Oh, no, I can _explain_ this--you see--_(starts to come down the front porch)_

MR. GUPTY: _(Becomes concerned, grabs his wife's arm:)_ --N-never mind, fellow! We'll come back _later_! Come _on_ dear! _(Hurries away from Darren with an equally concerned and afraid Mrs. Gupty)_

DARREN: No, wait, I--_(watches them leave down the street, thought v.o.: These people around here are **crazy**. I'd better get in the house before someone calls the police, and they arrest me for looking like a **dork**.) (Goes back up the front porch and rings the doorbell)_

All the Morgendorffers were in the living room, fully dressed, with Jake and Daria reading sections of the morning paper, and Helen talking on the phone to Eric about what work Helen would have do when she got back from her vacation for Monday. Quinn was walking by the front door to the kitchen when the doorbell rang, and she went to answer it.

QUINN: I got it! _(Opens the door:)_ Yes? What--_(sees a muddy person, becomes horrified, makes a disgusted face:) EWWWWWW_! _(This makes the rest of the family look up and take notice)_

DARREN: _(Sighs:)_ Quinn, it's just _me_.

QUINN: _(Looks at him uneasily:) D-Darren_? What happened to _you_? Ick!

DARREN: Long story, sis--could you get me a towel so I can wipe some of this mud off, please?

QUINN: Huh? Oh, sure--be back in a jif. _(Leaves up the stairs to the bathroom, while the others see Darren at the door and come up)_

HELEN: _(Comes up, worried:) Darren_?! Oh my _word_, son--what happened to you?

JAKE: _(Comes up behind Helen, equally worried:)_ Yeah, Big Guy--what in the heck happened--

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ --I think Quinn _already_ asked that question.

DARIA: _(Comes from behind both of her parents, smirks:)_ Yeah, Mom, Dad--we don't want my bro here thinking he's in an _echo chamber_ or something. So, bro--are you trying to _make up_ for all those times that our mom couldn't _admonish_ you for _playing in the mud_ and dirtying up your clothes? _(Darren tries to not laugh, as does Jake, who quickly goes silent when Helen looks at him sharply)_

HELEN: _(Turns her attention back to her son, cocks an eyebrow:)_ Darren? _Explanation_?

DARREN: _(Looks at Daria:)_ It involves your friend _Jane. (Quinn comes back from upstairs with a towel and **gingerly** gives it to Darren by her fingertips, making another disgusted face)_ Thanks, sis. _(Starts to wipe himself off)_

DARIA: _(Raises an eyebrow:) Jane_? What does _she_ have to do with you being in the _mud_? _(Smirks:)_ For some reason, I'm almost _afraid_ to ask.

DARREN: _(While still wiping himself off, and removing his socks and shoes, cocks a mock-glare eyebrow at Daria, quick smirk:)_ To be honest with you all, I'd like to shower and change before I say anything else, please--this mud is beginning to make me _itch_. Besides, I think Jane herself wants to be here when I do, okay? She'll be over here, soon. _(Carefully walks in the house after wiping his feet off, and wraps the now-muddy towel around his shoes and socks, gingerly going up the stairs, then halfway up, stops and turns back:)_ Oh yes--just before I came in, some people called the _"Guptys"_ came up, took one look at me, then _shot_ out of here, saying they'd come back some other time--go _figure. (Continues up the stairs)_

HELEN: _(Alarmed, slaps her forehead:)_ The _Guptys_? Oh, no! What will they _think_? I called them this _morning_ after they came in from their vacation, and wanted to _introduce_ them to Darren--

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ --Whom, I believe, they've already had the _pleasure_ of just meeting in all of his muddy _"guts and glory"._

HELEN: I'd better see if I can call them back--excuse me. _(Goes into the living room)_

JAKE: _(Shrugs his shoulders:)_ Guess we'll catch them later, huh, girls? _(Follows Helen)_

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes and smacks her mouth in disgust:) God_! I hope they _don't_ want me to _babysit_ their kids again! I used to _love_ going over there an' stuff, but for _some_ reason, they've been real _monsters_ most of th' time, an' the parents can't keep _anybody_ anymore! _(Daria smirks at this, and follows Quinn into the living room)_

_(Note to reader: See "Pinch Sitter" for the babysitting thing, of course)_

_(Scene is now in Jane's room, about thirty minutes later)_

Jane had put on her regular ensemble of clothes and was combing her hair when there was a knock on her door.

JANE: _(While looking in the mirror:)_ C'mon in.

Trent came into her room, yawning and stretching.

TRENT: _(Comes up behind Jane:)_ Hey, Janey--I went to use the bathroom, and I saw that your jogging outfit and shoes on the floor were kind of _muddy. (Pauses:)_ Did you _fall down_ in the mud or something?

JANE: _(Smirks while still looking in the mirror, catching Trent's reflection in it:)_ Yeah, you might _say_ that. _(Pauses:)_ You know the old landfill, Trent?

TRENT: Yeah, _everybody_ knows about it--and?

JANE: Well, I was jogging across it as usual to save time in getting home, when the ground suddenly _collapsed_ under me. _(Trent cocks an eyebrow)_ I fell into a damn, deep, mud-filled sinkhole, and I couldn't get out. _(Pauses, turns to look at her brother, grows quiet:)_ Trent, I would've _drowned_ if _Darren_ hadn't risked his _life_ to save _mine_.

TRENT: _(Stunned, walks up to Jane to hug her after she gets out of her chair to allow him to do so:) Darren_, Daria's brother, _saved_ you? _(Jane nods) Whoa_--are you okay, Janey?

JANE: _(Smiles while hugging her brother:)_ Yeah, I was a little _shaken_, but otherwise, I'm fine--thanks to _Darren. (Releases Trent:)_ I was going over to the Morgendorffers to meet him in the _flesh_ without the muddy covering. _(Pauses:)_ Mom up, yet?

TRENT: Yeah--she _left_ for the seminar while you were in the shower, I guess.

JANE: _(Rolls her eyes:) Hmmph_--we come in from vacation, and she goes right off _again_. Though I knew she'd go to that pottery show when we got back, I didn't know it would be _this_ soon--so what _else_ is new, huh?

TRENT: _(Shrugs, his voice gets low:)_ Yeah. _(Ponders:)_ Hey, I gotta figure out some way to _thank_ Darren for saving you, Janey--

JANE: _(Smirks:) --Way_ ahead of you there, bro--how about if I invite him to come out tonight with Daria and me to the _Zen_ to listen to you guys? You can thank him there, and he can hear your, um--_debut_ song to thank your _"Mysterious Benefactor"._

TRENT: Good idea, Janey--I'm gonna go down to the Zen with the guys for another final practice--_(looks up, raises voice, shakes fist:)_ and then the _return_ of Mystik Spiral will be back in full force! _(Coughs)_

JANE: _(Shakes her head slowly, smirks, thought v.o.: And may **God** help us all.)_ Okay, bro--we'll see you then. _(Trent leaves while Jane sits back down at her dresser and keeps combing her hair)_

_(Scene is back at the Morgendorffer's, about ten minutes later)_

Darren had goten out of the shower and had changed into some more sweatclothes, this time a gray shirt and pants. He was on his cell phone in his room talking to Curtis.

DARREN: _(In a no-nonsense tone:) --Curtis_, I won't _argue_ the point on why I _still_ can't tell the Morgendorffers who I really am, okay? You've got to _trust_ me on this!

CURTIS: But you haven't told _me_ why you've _suddenly_ changed your mind, bud!

DARREN: _(Tries to stay calm:) I-told-you-to-trust-me--_ I can't say anything more! _Please_!

CURTIS: _(After a long pause, sounding curt:) Fine_. I guess you know what you're _doing_. It's _your_ life, after all. _(Suddenly hangs up)_

DARREN: Curtis, wait! I--_(stares forward, narrows eyes:) damn_! _(Thought v.o.: Wonderful--fantastic--that's just **great**. Risk losing my best friend over something like this--better find something **soon**, Woo.) (Clicks off, then clicks on cell phone again, punches some numbers)_

_(Scene changes to the Appleton estate)_

Elenor had just finished cleaning the study from the _party_ William had hosted there last night, and she had _hated_ to be around his so-called _"associates"_ with their constant _lewd_ behavior and _drunkeness_. She secretly wished that she could hear _something_ from Master Darren or Mistress Millie, for she missed them not being around--for that matter, _all_ of the staff missed them. The mansion just wasn't the same without them--it seemed big and empty.

Elenor suddenly frowned to herself. Now _just a minute_--wasn't it _selfish_ to think like that? After all Master Darren had gone through, wasn't he _entitled_ to some time off to be with his "birth" family? Of _course_ he was, the same for Mistress Millie and her vacation. _Foolish thinking, Elenor--how could you think like that about them--or only about yourself_? She quickly lost herself in thought, cleaning the endtables in the family room, when the phone that was on the one she was cleaning rang. She answered it on the first ring.

ELENOR: This is the Appleton estate. Who is speaking?

VOICE: _(Sounding coy:)_ I'll give you _one_ guess, Elenor.

ELENOR: _(Eyes light up, sounding estatic:) Master Darren_! _(Sees Claude walking by in the foyer:)_ Claude! It's Master Darren calling! _(Claude grins, comes over to the phone, leans to hear in it with Elenor)_ Oh, Master Darren--it seems like it has been _so_ long since you've been here--

DARREN: _(Chuckling sound:)_ --I know, Elenor, Claude--and I'm _sorry_ for not calling sooner. It's just been so _hectic_ since I came here to stay with my birth parents and sisters for a while.

ELENOR: _(Gasps, delighted:)_ So, you _have_ gotten to know them _well_, Master Darren? That's _wonderful_!

CLAUDE: _(Speaks over Elenor's shoulder into the phone, happy as well:)_ Indeed it _is_, sir!

DARREN: _(Now heard laughing:)_ Thank you--I miss _all_ of you as well, you know.

ELENOR: _(Hesitates:)_ Do you--do you know _when_ you'll be back, Master Darren?

DARREN: _(After a pause, then speaks:)_ Just about two weeks before Eastward starts--before registration--maybe a little sooner, Elenor, I really can't say for sure.

ELENOR: _(Sounding quiet, looks at Claude:)_ I see. _(Lightens up her tone:)_ Mistress Millie called yesterday, and said she was having a wonderful time in Europe.

DARREN: Yes, uncle Will told me she did, and for that matter, I'm relieved for her. _(After a pause:)_ So, is--everything _okay_ there, you two? _(Tries to sound nonchalant, worrying privately about Woo's warning, doesn't want to alarm Elenor or Claude:)_ You know, the same, old _boring_ sort of stuff that usually happens around the place?

ELENOR: _(Makes a disgusted face, rolls her eyes:)_ Well, Master Darren, we've had some of those _wretched_ reporters try and ask us _where_ you were, but we've told them nothing--

CLAUDE: _(Cuts her off, speaks into the phone over Elenor's shoulder:)_--We've even had one try and _infiltrate_ the staff to find out where you were! _(Frowns:)_ The absolute _nerve_ of that fellow to say he was one of the _groundskeepers_! _(Darren is heard laughing on the other end)_ I am _proud_ to say he did not get too far on the grounds before security escorted him off!

DARREN: Excellent work, you two--_(is heard sighing:)_ still, I know it's only a matter of _time_ before they find out what's going on. Just _try_ to hold the "dogs" off a little longer, okay? _(Knocking is heard on the other end, Darren has now lowered his voice:)_ I think one of my birth family members wants to come in. Take care, you two, tell the rest of the staff that I called, and that I'm okay--and--_thanks_.

ELENOR & CLAUDE: Goodbye, Master Darren! Godspeed, sir! _(Elenor hangs up, smiles along with Claude)_

Darren quickly clicked off his cell phone and opened his door. He saw a smiling Helen.

DARREN: Hey--sorry, I was on my phone talking to some friends. What's up?

HELEN: That's all right, son. I just wanted to tell you that _Jane_ is downstairs in the living room with Daria and everyone else, waiting for you.

DARREN: Thanks. _(Leaves his room with Helen)_

_(The scene is downstairs, at the same time)_

Jane had come in, and was waiting for Darren, standing in the middle of the living room with Daria. Jake and Quinn were sitting on the right side couch, watching them. Daria noticed that her friend seemed a bit _impatient_. Daria cocked an eyebrow at her behavior, curious.

DARIA: You _really_ want to meet my bro pretty _badly_, don't you?

JANE: _(Now arches her eyebrow at Daria, smirks:)_ Why _shouldn't_ I, Daria? He's your _"Big Bro"_, and he _sav--(pauses, sighs:)_ look, you'll find out _soon_ enough.

Darren came down the stairs behind Helen, and saw a thin, but lithe-shaped young woman, a little taller than Daria, who was standing beside her in the center of the living room. She had short, almost shoulder-length black hair that had been styled with one side _slightly_ longer than the other, and was wearing three earrings in each ear. The young woman wore a red jacket that had its sleeves rolled up to her elbows, and it was worn over a black tee-shirt. She wore short, black pants over black stockings, and had on tall, black Doc Marten boots that were even _bigger_ than Daria's. Darren smirked slightly at this young lady, who he knew _had_ to be Jane--no _wonder_ she and Daria became friends--they seemed to have a similar _fashion_ sense that they shared, as well as a similar view of _society_. He casually, but quickly allowed a thought to come into his mind as she turned to him--Jane was _attractive_. Tom was a _lucky_ guy. Darren grinned as he approached Jane, extending his hand.

Jane turned to see the _"newest"_ member of her best friend's family, and needless to say, was _stunned_. Her eyes bulged wide-open, and her mouth was agape. This guy was--_gorgeous_. His reddish-brown hair was thick and wavy. His eyes were a deep blue, and he was quite the athletic _specimen_, judging by his looks. He wore a gray sweatsuit that covered his body, but it _still_ couldn't quite hide Darren's _physique_--not that she was _complaining_. He was not completely as athletic-looking as say, _Jesse_, but taller, and definitely more built than--than, yeah--_Tom_. Darren came up to Jane with a sincere _grin_ that could've _melted_ the heart of just about any female, with those _perfect-looking_ straight white teeth he was showing. She quickly snapped out her trance when Darren spoke, reached out and shook his hand.

DARREN: _(Looks down at her:)_ Hey Jane, sans the mud, right? _(Jane nods, smirking)_ How are you doing?

JANE: _(Looks up at him, now smiles:)_ I'm--_okay_, Darren. _(Pauses:)_ Uh--I've called the police, and they've sealed off the landfill area.

HELEN: _(Cocks her eyebrow, curious:)_ The _landfill_? _(Narrows her eyes, puts her hands on her hips:)_ All right, you two--we've been patient up to now, so tell us what happened.

Then and there, Darren and Jane explained about the sinkhole incident.

JANE: --And if it wasn't for Darren, _(looks quietly over at him:)_ I wouldn't be here now. _(Darren looks uncomfortable a bit with everyone staring at him in admiration)_

HELEN: _(Becomes proud of her son, looks as if she's about to cry:)_ Oh, Darren! _(Hugs him:)_ That was so _brave_ of you to do that for Jane!

JAKE: _(Even more proud, jumps up and hugs his son in a **python-type** of grip:) Damn_ straight it was, son! You've done us proud! My boy!

DARREN: _(Struggles to breathe:)_ Thanks--a--lot--now--can--you--let--me--go,--please? _(Jake releases him while grinning, a Darren takes a big breath inward)_

QUINN: _(Delighted, jumps up to hug her brother:)_ Oh, _wow_! Wait'll the _Fashion Club_ hears about this--

DARIA: _(Smirks while hiding her relief that her friend is all right:)_ --I'm sure they'll want to hear how your _"cousin"_ saved Jane's life, sis. _(Jane smirks, while Helen and Jake look at each other in confusion, and Darren glances at Quinn with an unreadable look, then a curious Helen and Jake look at a now-nervous Quinn)_

QUINN: _(Quickly plays it off, glares at Daria:) Ha_, Daria--very funny _joke_ there! _(Looks at her watch:)_ Well, I gotta meet the Fashion Club at Sandi's house, you guys! _(Kisses Darren on the cheek:)_ Good work, bro! See you all later--glad to see you're okay, Jane! _(Quickly leaves out of the front door, slams it after her before Helen can say anything)_

DARIA: _(Looks in Quinn's direction, in her deadpan tone:)_ And so goes our resident little _"getter-outta-troubler". (Everyone looks at Daria strangely)_ Hey, I think I'm entitled to _make up_ a word every once in awhile--Quinn does it _all_ the time.

HELEN: _(Looks at Daria, exasperated:)_ Daria-- _(Picks up her cell phone:)_ I'd better see if Eric needs anything _else_ for me to do Monday--you know, looking out for any new _cases_ that might've cropped up while I was out--

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ --Yeah, I heard that the _ambulance drivers_ need a _new_ chaser, Mom--we wouldn't want to _disappoint_ them now, would we? _(Darren struggles not to laugh while Jane smirks)_

HELEN: _(Gives a "You're really pushing it, young lady" glare:) Daria_--

DARIA: _(Gets the message:)_--We're gone to Jane's. C'mon, guys. _(Leaves with Jane and Darren)_

The three just got out of the house when Daria held out her arms, stopping them both. Darren and Jane looked at each other, confused.

DARREN: Sis, is something _wrong_?

DARIA: _(Looks around quickly, then gives Darren a slight smile:) Nah_--I just wanted to _thank_ you for saving Jane's life--and I didn't want to do it in _front_ of our parents--_personal reputation_ and all, you know.

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ In _other_ words, you can't let them see that the _"Great Stoneface"_ that is one Daria Morgendorffer is beginning to really _appreciate_ having a brother, because if your parents _do_, they'll try and _tear down_ those super-duper high walls that you've created for yourself around them? _(Darren smiles at this)_

DARIA: _(Deadpan, smirks at Jane:)_ Welcome back, _"Partner In Crime"_--now, when are you going to _leave_ again? Oh, I know--by the _seat_ of your pants from the front of my boot _buried_ in your _ass. (Darren grins at the verbal exchange between the two)_

DARREN: _(Looks at Daria softly:)_ You're welcome, sis. _(Pauses, looks at both girls, motions in the direction of the Lane's home:)_ Shall we proceed to Jane's? _(Jane gets a **wicked** smirk on her face)_

JANE: _(Suddenly **hooks** her arm with a surprised Darren's, something that causes Daria to do a double-take when she notices it)_ Let's go, good sir--our _destiny_ awaits! _(Leaves with him, while Daria follows them with a quick, slightly perplexed expression)_

_(Scene changes to the Appleton Industries West coast branch legal office, the same time)_

Woo came into the large, carpeted glass and concrete reception area and greeted the female receptionist, who put a moving box down on her desk.

WOO: _(Smiles:)_ Hello, I'm Gerald Woo. I believe Mr. Potter is expecting me.

RECEPTIONIST: Yes, Mr. Woo, he is. One moment, please. _(Clicks on her desk speaker:)_ Mr. Potter, Mr. Woo is here to see you.

POTTER: _(On speaker:)_ Very good--send him in.

RECEPTIONIST: Go on in, Mr. Woo--just be careful of the _boxes_ in Mr. Potter's office--he's still moving in. _(Points down the hall:)_ Go through that double-door about three doors down on the left.

WOO: Thank you, I will. _(Goes down the hall)_

Woo walked into the office and immediately saw what the receptionist was talking about. There were moving boxes, some opened, some unopened, of all sizes strewn about all over the floor and on Potter's desk and the chairs sitting in front of his desk. Packing paper was protruding out of some of the opened boxes. In the middle of the office, Leonard Potter was on his knees, taking out some law books. He saw Woo, and got up. Leonard came over to Woo, smiled, and shook his hand.

LEONARD: Hello, Mr. Woo--_(makes a sweeping motion around his office:)_ sorry about the _mess_ in here. I just came in yesterday, and decided to come in on the weekend to try and get as much unpacking done as possible, and my secretary volunteered to help me out. You've done some work for Appleton _before_, haven't you?

WOO: Thank you for meeting me this early, Mr. Potter, It's just _Woo_, and I did do some investigative work for your company concerning some company securities fraud, I believe. William Appleton _hired_ me.

LEONARD: _(Ponders:)_ Yes, I remember--and please call me _Leonard. (Pauses:)_ So, why are you here?

WOO: _(Pulls out a pen and pad, starts to write:)_ Actually, Leonard, I'm working on a case that I'd prefer to keep _confidential_ for now--the same as to _who_ hired me. At the moment, I want to ask _why_ did Mr. Appleton send you out here?

LEONARD: _(Thinks about what Woo has said, then decides to answer:)_ The _official_ story is that I _"volunteered"_ to come out here--_(frowns:) bull. (Countinues to unpack his law books while talking:)_ You see, William Appleton didn't _appreciate_ me having the _audacity_ to actually do my _job_. He felt that I was _"hindering"_ his decision-making efforts concerning the company legally, so he decided to ship me out here in _no-man's land_, where there's _less_ legal work to do. _(Pauses, looks at Woo:)_ Uh, _no_ offense about the "no-man's land" term--with your _living_ out here, and all.

WOO: _(Smirks, keeps writing:)_ No problem, Leonard--sometimes I feel like I actually _am_ in a "no-man's land" here, what, with all the _smog, fires, mudslides, and earthquakes_. So, William Appleton sent you out here because you were getting in his _"way"_?

LEONARD: _(Shrugs while taking out more books:)_ That about sums it up.

WOO: _(Stops writing for a moment:)_ I heard that you two _didn't_ get along well, and there were some _rumors_ that Arthur Appleton Sr. had to sometimes keep both of you from a _physical_ confrontation. Is that _true_?

LEONARD: _(Chuckles:)_ We had only _one_ such incident, Woo--though there were times that I _did_ want to _"clean" William's "clock"_, sort to speak. You see, as much as I _hate_ to admit it, William Appleton is a _brilliant_ businessman--the problem with him is that he thinks he should be in charge of _everything_, making _all_ the decisions, having everybody _cater_ to his _whims_. He _always_ was like that, but on a much _smaller_ scale--_(pauses, frowns in perplexity for a moment:)_ until about a little over a _year_ ago.

WOO: _(Narrows his eyes:)_ Why more than a _year_ ago, Leonard?

LEONARD: It was after the _annual stockholder's meeting_ last year in the Florida Keys. _(Woo cocks an eyebrow, remembers his conversation with Darren about the same event when they first talked to each other)_ William seemed--I don't know--_changed_ for some reason. He became more _agressive_, more of a _bully_--like he had some sort of a _chip_ on his shoulder, and that everybody had _damn_ well better get _used_ to it. It was like he _knew_ something that no one else knew, not even _Arthur Sr._ knew what was wrong with him. Once, I heard after a meeting that Arthur Sr. asked William what was going on with his _"attitude"_. William simply looked at him with something of a _sneer_ and said, _"As if you **didn't** know"_, and just left it at that. Arthur couldn't for the _life_ of him figure out what was going on, and said nothing more. William eventually kind of _leveled_ off, enough to keep Arthur Sr. from asking anymore questions, but _not_ back to what he _used_ to be _before_ the shareholder's meeting.

Woo thought about this for a moment, wrote in his pad, then continued.

WOO: I see. I'm surprised that you didn't go to the Board of Directors and _protest_ William Appleton's decision.

LEONARD: _(Snorts:)_ Oh, William _knew_ what he was doing with this situation--if I _protested_, he'd simply say that I _refused_ to go along with the transferal--and that he had _no_ choice but to _fire_ me. He'd be in the _"right"_, I in the _"wrong"_, and the Board could see nothing done except me not wanting to do my job.

WOO: Why not _quit_?

LEONARD: _(Cocks an eyebrow at Woo, as if you say, "Are you kidding me?":)_ And give him the _satisfaction_ that he had _beaten_ me? No way in _hell_ was I going to allow him to do that! _(Starts to take out more books:)_ I'm going to _bide_ my time. I think eventually, William's going to _fall_ anyway.

WOO: _(Raised eyebrows:) Fall_? Why?

LEONARD: He's become too _paranoid_ for his own good, Woo--being on top has made him just about _jump_ at every_one_ and every_thing_. He's convinced _Constance Waters_ is out to get his job--_(shrugs:)_ not that I can _blame_ him in a way. She's quite _good_ in her job. _(Pauses, narrows his eyes:)_ I just hope he _does_ go after her.

WOO: _(Startled:)_ You _do_? Why?

LEONARD: To the Board, she's become the _darling_ of the divisional chiefs, thanks to a recent _coup_ over getting a share of a foriegn company. I wonder would would happen if William tries to do something like _move_ her to some other area--you know, like he did _me_. In Constance's case, however, she poses more of a _direct_ threat to him. The Board could take note and move _against_ William.

WOO: _(Frowns, thinks:)_ Hmm--what do you think of the man who _replaced_ you on the East coast legal branch, _Sam Norwood_? I read about it in the _Los Angeles Times_ business section last night.

LEONARD: _(Rolls his eyes:) Please_. All personal _bias_ aside, it's a _well-known_ fact that Norwood worked for _organized crime_ once by representing several _crime lords_ during their trials. I wouldn't be surprised if William didn't _pay_ a so-called _"prestigious"_ law firm money to take Norwood and make him _"legit"_--either that, or _blackmailed_ them in some way. From what I heard, the Board looked into it, and _nothing_ illegal was found. _(Snorts:)_ William covered his tracks well.

WOO: _(Still writes:)_ Okay, _one_ more question--in addition to being the executor of the reading of the business will, did you _write_ it up as well?

LEONARD: Yes, I did. Arthur and Lucille worked with me--I was also their _personal_ lawyer, and in case your wondering, _no_ one else knew what was _in_ that will except them and me.

WOO: _(Finishes up his writing, takes pad, flips it closed, and puts it and his pen back in his pocket:)_ Thank you, Leonard--I may be in touch with you again. _(Shakes Leonard's hand)_

LEONARD: My pleasure--_(pauses:)_ do you mind if I ask _you_ a question?

WOO: _(Gives a quick shrug:)_ You may do so.

LEONARD: I understand your position of _confidentiality_ concerning your case and client, since I am a lawyer. Based on your questions concerning _William Appleton_, however, may I _assume_ that you think he's done something _wrong_, or at least that you _suspect_ he's done something wrong?

WOO: _(Ponders for a moment:)_ To be honest with you, Leonard, I'm not quite sure if Mr. Appleton's done _anything_ wrong--_(then adds as an afterthought:)_ at least not _yet_. I _can_ say, however, that he _is_ on my list, and that the information that you just supplied me with _will_ help me decide where to go from here--on _some_ things.

LEONARD: _(After a moment, nods head:)_ All right. _(Pauses:)_ I suppose that'll do--for _now_. Call me _anytime_ at work, Woo--with the _so-called_ "workload" that is here right now, I think I'll have _plenty_ of time to _twiddle_ my thumbs. _(Escorts Woo to the door)_

WOO: I will, Leonard--and thank you again for your cooperation. _(Opens door:)_ Goodbye.

LEONARD: Goodbye, Woo. _(Watches him go down the hall, then goes back into his office)_

At that moment, a sinister-looking tall, red-haired thin man, wearing small dark glasses, and with a small, red goatee in a black Armani suit came from around the corner on the opposite end of the hall from the receptionist. He watched Woo leave, looked slowly at Leonard Potter's office, then quietly slipped back around the corner.

_(Scene is back at the Lane's home in Lawndale, Jane's room)_

Jane was showing Daria and Darren her art done from Jane's trip with her mother, as well as some of her current art. While Daria and Darren were looking at the work--Native American pottery, and Native American portraits in the abstract, Jane was finishing unpacking her clothes from her vacation. Darren was clearly impressed, mostly with Jane's paintings.

DARREN: _(Sounding excited, looking at one of Jane's paintings:)_ Jane, this is _terrific_! Your emotions on _this_ painting really come out _at_ me! _(Pauses, raises an eyebrow, looks at Jane:)_ I'm assuming you have some of your art on _display_ somewhere--?

JANE: _(Feels pleased that her work is being appreciated:)_ Thanks for the compliment Darren, and yep--at least _some_. A couple of pieces are in the county art museum. There are also several art shops around the area that I have paintings in, and have _sold_ some as well.

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Jane's pretty _well known_ around here--_art-wise_, that is. Soon, I expect some of her work will be _so_ well-known, it'll be _stolen. (Darren laughs, while Jane smirks)_

JANE: _(Snorts, rolls her eyes playfully:)_ I _wish_. Right now, any potential thief would probably just pick it up, look at it, turn it upside down, and put it _back_. I'll never make the _news_ if _that_ happens.

Darren looked around, and saw Jane's abstract painting of _Tom_ laying in a corner of her room. He went over to it, looked at Jane to get her approval to pick it up, which she gave by a quick nod and smirk, gingerly picked it up by its sides, and looked at it. Daria was about to say who it was, but Jane motioned to her to say _nothing_ by giving a somewhat-surprised Daria a _sharp_ look. Darren was too engrossed into the painting to notice the exchange. After about a minute of silence, he put it carefully back down, and looked at Jane curiously.

DARREN: _(Motions his head at the painting:)_ That's _Tom_, isn't it?

JANE: _(Smiles at Darren, grows quiet:)_ Yeah, it is. _How'd_ you know?

DARREN: Well, based on the _care_ you put in the detail of your _brushstrokes_, and the _facial features_ that, while not evident at _first_, slowly come _out_ of the painting, and form a rather _handsome_ face. _(Jane gets a smug look of approval on her face)_ It's quite clear, Jane, you put a _lot_ of work in this painting. _(Looks back at the painting:)_ I'm _sure_ Tom really _appreciated_ it, am I right?

JANE: _(Now **frowns**, while Darren is looking at the painting:)_ Well, to tell you the _truth_--

DARIA: _(Cuts her off:)_ --It, um, took Tom a _little_ while to see what Jane had done, but once he _did_, he understood _what_ it was. _(Jane looks at Daria, a little miffed)_

Darren caught on to Daria's cutting off Jane and the subsequent baffled looks both were giving to one another, but said nothing more. Whatever it was, probably _about_ Tom, he decided that it was _none_ of his concern--God knows he had _enough_ things on his mind already. Perhaps the two needed to talk--time to use an _excuse_. After an awkward silence for a moment, Darren spoke.

DARREN: Ah--I need to use your bathroom, Jane. Where--?

JANE: _(Cocks her head at her door:)_ Second door on the left in the hallway.

DARREN: Thank you. _(Leaves the room. Daria quietly follows Darren to the door, watches him go into the bathroom, shuts the bedroom door)_

JANE: _(Looks suspiciously at Daria:)_ Why'd you cut me _off_ like that?

DARIA: _(Gives Jane the same look:)_ I could ask you the _same_ thing.

JANE: _(Shrugs:)_ Hey, _I_ wanted to know if your bro had a good _eye_ for art--you know, if he could tell whether or not if that was Tom, and he did--_(frowns:) unlike_ Tom--_(cocks an eyebrow:) you_--?

DARIA: _(Frowns:) I_ didn't want Darren to get _drawn_ into your _troubles_ with Tom like I felt _I've_ been, that's all. _(Pauses, goes into a serious tone:)_ Look, Jane--Darren's really been through a lot of _hell_ lately, and I just thought that he needed a _break_ from getting into the middle of something _else_.

JANE: _(Who now frowns herself, starts to raise her voice:) Look_, I--_(sighs, lowers her tone:)_ Daria, I _wasn't_ trying to get Darren into _anything_, okay? I _know_ he's been through everything under the sun because of the deaths of his adopted parents, _whatever_ happened to them, and the adoption story he told me about--I _know_ I don't want to add any _additional_ grief to what he's gone through, so give me a _little_ credit, okay? It's just that he's gonna _know_ something's up when Tom comes in, and that we're _not_ getting along. I figured that he might as well know about it _now_, and not _later_.

DARIA: _(Narrows her eyes:)_ You talk as if you _don't_ expect to get back with Tom at _all_.

JANE: _(Snorts:)_ Hey, I'm just being _realistic_, okay? Remember, Tom _left_ town on _his_ vacation with his friends _knowing_ when I was supposed to come in, and then had the sheer _gall_ to leave the message on his _damn_ now-fixed answering machine, and this after he had _begged_ to ask me to give him another chance!

DARIA: Yes, and you said you'd give him a _chance_ to _explain_ himself. _(Pauses:)_ I'd _damn_ well would like to hear his explanation, too, if you must know--I'm just asking you to _not_ say anything to Darren until _after_ you talk to Tom, okay?

JANE: _(After staring at Daria for a second:)_ Sure, okay--but don't expect me to _pretend_ that everything's _"hunky-dory"_ with Tom if Darren asks me about him--_deal_?

DARIA: _(Stares at Jane, sighs:)_ I suppose that'll _have_ to do--_deal_.

There was a knock on the door. Daria opened it, and Darren came in. He could feel a slight _tension_ in the air between the two. Darren paused for a moment, looked at the two, then decided to cut through the tension.

DARREN: _(Starts to smile:)_ Say, I'm hungry. _(Looks at his watch:)_ It's about noontime--anybody want some _pizza_?

JANE: _(Smirks at Darren:)_ Daria, your bro's a man after my _own_ heart.

DARIA: _(Smirks as well:) Tell_ me about it. Are _you_ treating, bro?

DARREN: _(Smiles:)_ Of course.

JANE: _(Realizes something, snaps her fingers, looks between Daria and Darren:)_ Oh, yeah! I meant to ask that if Darren has nothing to do tonight, that maybe he could come with you Daria, to the Zen to listen to Mystik Spiral play together for the first time since they had lost their instruments and the original Tank. Trent, who's there now practicing with the guys, wants to thank you for saving me, and he wants you to listen with everybody else the song he and Jesse have been working on, thanking Mystik Spiral's _"Mysterious Benefactor". (Walks up slowly to Darren, looks up at him **intently**, smiles--something that causes Daria to raise her eyebrow ever-so-slightly:)_ Say that you'll _come_--?

DARREN: _(Ponders, looks down at Jane:) Weeell_--I _was_ going to read a book and have a quiet evening at home--

DARIA: _(Smirks:) --Definitely_ a man after _my_ own heart--no _damn_ doubts about it now--

DARREN: _(Looks at Daria:)_ --but since _Daria's_ going, I guess I can go, too.

JANE: _(Swings her fist, triumphant, gets into her "Delores" tone:) Supoirb, kid_--see ya at 7:00 tonight?

DARREN: _(Laughs:)_ 7:00 tonight, it is. _(Pauses:)_ Now, as for that _pizza_--?

JANE: You guys wanna go to the Pizza King, or call in?

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ Call in this time--let them _"come to us"._

JANE: _(Gets her cell phone:)_ Okay. _(Starts to call:)_ What do you guys want on your pizzas?

DARIA: You know, and Darren does as well, that I like pepperoni, cheese, and sausage pizza--

JANE: (Smirks:) --With a scoop of _ice cream_ covered with _chocolate sauce_ on top?

DARIA: You're confusing me with that scruffy-haired, thin kid that has a _Great Dane_ as a pet, and rides in a _goofy-looking_ van with his friends--

_(Note to reader: This is a sly homage to one Crazy Nutso's downright funny fic, "Daria, Where Are You?")_

JANE: --_Trent and Mystik Spiral_? _(Darren is amused by this exchange)_

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ There's _no_ Great Dane dog with Mystik Spiral, Jane--

JANE: --Unless _Jesse_ is on all _fours_--and believe me when I said I've seen it _before. (Begins to talk on the phone:)_ Yeah, Pizza King--?

DARIA: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ I don't _even_ want to know. Hey, I'm going to use the bathroom myself--be right back. _(Gets ready to leave)_

JANE: --Right, with sausage, and--wait a second--_(looks at Daria just as she's about to leave the room:)_ Daria, Darren and I will be downstairs in the living room when you come out, okay?

DARIA: Yeah, okay. _(Leaves)_

Darren watched Daria leave, and then waited for Jane to finish ordering the pizzas on her phone. Both went downstairs to the Lane's living room, and sat on the sofa. He looked at Jane, hesitating to speak for a for a moment. Jane caught his reluctance, and took the initiative.

JANE: _(Cocks an eyebrow:) Sooo_--you wanna _ask_ me something, Darren? _(Thought v.o.: Is he going to ask me about **Tom**?)_

DARREN: Well, yes, I meant to ask this earlier with you on our way back from the landfill--it kind of got lost in all the _"excitement"_--but does Daria _like_ Trent? She told me when we left here the first time that her _crush_ on him was in _remission_.

JANE: _(Surprised look on her face:) Whoa_--she actually _told_ you she _had_ a crush on my bro? _(Smirks:)_ Well, now--_I_ never heard her so much as _admit_ it to me before--I'd only _seen_ it in action with all the _blushing_ and stuff when Daria was around Trent at times, at least in the early days. Yeah, she _did_--and to a certain degree, _still_ does--_(narrows her eyes, looks off:)_ I _think, (frowns:)_ though I'm still not quite _sure_ anymore. You see, about the same time I met--_(pauses:) Tom_, Daria and I had a school project to do, and we enlisted Trent's help. Trent said he'd have his part ready, but when the time came, he didn't come through for us. Trent had always, _bless_ his heart, been something of a _slacker_, but Daria basically looked _past_ my bro's faults. When he didn't do his part to _help_ us, well, Daria kind of _drifted away_ from him for awhile because I think she realized his, um, _shortcomings_. Add that to the fact that Tom and I _(frowns slightly:) liked_ one another, taking away some of her time usually spent with me, and Daria was generally _miserable_ for a time. I don't think she's _ever_ gotten over Trent _completely_--_(pauses, hesitates:)_ but I _could_ be wrong--with _Daria_, one can't be too sure. Only recently has she come out of her _funk_--that and the fact that Trent _finally_ seems to be taking his musical career _really_ seriously in a positive direction, thanks to the _"Mysterious Benefactor"_--a new push from my bro that _hasn't_ been lost on Daria. _(Shrugs:)_ Of course, she might just be trying to _encourage_ Trent in his musical career, and nothing more, who knows? _(Suddenly gives Darren a sheepish, apologetic look:) Sorry_, that's the _best_ I can do.

_(Note to reader: Of course, the "school project" thing, Tom, and Trent's "slacking" happened in the episode "Jane's Addition")_

DARREN: _(Smirks:)_ Er--_thank you_ for _"clearing"_ that up, Jane. _(Jane grins:)_ Um--so does Trent have _any_ feelings for _Daria_?

JANE: _(Shrugs:)_ I _thought_ I heard him say to her once that if Daria was a year older, 18, he'd _take_ her out. But when I asked him _and_ Daria, they _denied_ it was real--though to Trent, it seemed to be more of a _joke_--Daria kind of _brushed_ it off, too. _(Note to reader: Trent's statement **did** happen at the end of the episode "Lane Miserables")_ Other than that, he seems _oblivious_ to her crush on him. _(Gets a **scheming** look on her face:)_ Hey, maybe if you _helped_ me--

DARREN: _(Cuts her off, shakes his head:) --Uh-uh, no way_, Jane--Daria lived her life _waaay_ before I came into it. I want to see her _happy_, but _she's_ got to make her _own_ decisions, the same for _Quinn_. If she _asks_ me what I think, I'll give her advice from _my_ relationship with--_(stops, realizes he's said too much, looks away for a moment:)_ er--as her "Big Bro", the only thing I can offer is to be there for her for _support_.

Jane cocked an eyebrow at Darren for an _instant_--he had _almost_ let something out about who she assumed to be his _girlfriend_, but stopped at the last second--she wondered _why_ he did. For some reason, that near-admission made her feel--_disappointed_. She guessed he was _already_ spoken for. Hey--where'd _that_ thought come from? Jane quickly shook it from her mind as Daria entered the living room from upstairs. Darren gave a sudden, urgent look at Jane, ever-so-slightly shaking his head at her as if to say, _"Keep this talk between us, okay"_? Jane gave her own slight, quick nod at Darren, confirming her silence on the matter. Daria, not noticing the subtle jestures between the two, sat down between them on the sofa.

DARIA: _(Crosses her arms:)_ Well, while we're waiting for the pizza, why don't we watch some TV?

JANE: _(Gets the remote from the coffee table:)_ Good idea--I think _Sick, Sad World_ has a midday Saturday afternoon special. _(Clicks on TV)_

As if on cue, the _Sick, Sad World_ eyeball logo came on the TV screen, and the announcer spoke.

TV ANNOUNCER: _(While theme music is playing:)_ Are some of the _trees_ in your yard actually _secret alien beings_ that are in _hibernation_, and intend to _wake up and take over_ our planet some day? A _Sick, Sad World_ exclusive, next!

DARREN: _(Laughs at the screen, smiles at Jane:)_ So you like that _funny_ show too, eh?

JANE: _(Smirks at Darren:) Umm-hmm. (Pauses:)_ So, um--have you seen _Sick, Sad World_ a lot, Darren?

DARREN: _(Gives a quick shrug:)_ Some, though not much, although if I'm watching TV, and I run across it while channel-surfing, I'll stay with it--like I told Daria, I've seen it a _few_ times.

DARIA: _(Deadpan, lies back, puts her feet on the coffee table in front of the couch:)_ Nothing like pizza and _Sick, Sad World_ to pass the day away--other than reading a book and writing, that is. _(Smirks:)_ The rest of the whole damn world can do whatever the hell it wants.

JANE: _(Does the same thing as Daria:) Amen_ to that, sister. _(Darren shakes his head slowly as he looks at them and chuckles to himself)_

DARREN: I suppose everybody has their _"priorities". (Sits back on the sofa and watches the TV, but unlike Daria and Jane, doesn't put his legs on the coffee table)_

_(Scene changes to the Griffin home, at the same time)_

Quinn sat in the living room on a couch with Stacy, while Sandi and Tiffany were standing. Sandi was pointing out the clothes Tiffany was wearing--a white, short-sleeved cotton blouse, with a white "skort".

SANDI: _(While making a sweeping jesture at Tiffany:)_ --And that is, like the way to wear a summer blouse, according to _Waif_ in their summer edition.

QUINN: _(In her "follow-the-Sandi" mode:)_ Oh, most _definitely_, Sandi.

TIFFANY: _("Yes-woman" mode:)_ You're...so...right...Sandi.

STACY: _(Nods in her "follow-the-Sandi-or-else" agreement:)_ Loose is the way to go, Sandi! Our skin can _breathe_ and everything, and we _don't_ sweat!

THE ENTIRE FASHION CLUB: _(All frown, shake their heads in mild disgust while closing their eyes:) Sweat--EWWWW_!

SANDI: _(Gives a curt nod to Tiffany, who sits down beside Stacy:)_ Very well--Stacy, mark everyone as agreeing to wearing our summer blouses loosely, but not _too_ loosely as to look unfashionable! _(Stacy writes in her secretary's book)_

Sam and Chris suddenly entered the living room, chasing one another. As soon as they saw _Quinn_, they stopped and ran up to her, ready to do her bidding.

SAM: _(Eager:)_ Do you need _anything_, Quinn?

CHRIS: _(Eager:)_ Maybe something to drink?

QUINN: _(Looks up, thinks:) Weeell--_

SANDI: _(Cuts her off, irritated with her brothers:)_ --Get out of here, you little _monsters_, before I call motherrr!

CHRIS: _(Licks his tounge out at Sandi:) NYYAAH_! _(Sandi swings at him, and he ducks, runs while Sandi glares at Sam, who licks his tounge out at her as well, then also runs from her--both go outside, while an angry Sandi stops at the door, watching them go. Quinn secretly **smirks** at Sandi's annoyance)_

SANDI: _(Glares back at Quinn, who has quickly wiped the smirk from her face, while coming back into the living room:)_ Aren't you like, _soooo_ glad that you _don't_ have any brothers _now_, Quinn? They can be _sooo_ annoying! _(Quinn winces at Sandi's statement)_

QUINN: _(Sounding uneasy, singy-songy voice:)_ Yeah, Sandi--_(weakly:)_ like who _needs_ a _brother_?

STACY: _(Giggles, blushes slightly:)_ I bet you'd wish your _cousin_ Darren was _your_ brother, right, Quinn? _(Quinn **moans** inwardly)_ He's like, _so_ gorgeous--and like you told us, he even _saved_ your cousin's friend's life! _(Sighs:)_ What a _hero_!

TIFFANY: _(In a dreamy tone, looks in space:)_ Yeeeah...gorgeous...hero.

SANDI: _(Tries to not blush **herself** over thinking about Darren, attempts to seize back control:) Staaacy--Tiffannny_! Like, come out of that _trance_ both of you are in, and concentrate on the meeting! _(Stacy and Tiffany look at each other foolishly for a moment, then get "serious" looks on their faces--stop that laughing!)_

STACY: _(Contrite:)_ Sorry, Sandi.

TIFFANY: _(Contrite:)_ Yeaaah...soorry.

SANDI: _(Gives another curt nod:)_ Good. _(Thought v.o.: I'll come over to Quinn's house tonight, and have that hero Darren all to myself! He won't be able to resist me!) (Smirks)_

STACY: _(Thought v.o.: I'm gonna go over to Quinn's tonight, and talk to that hunk of a hero **cousin** Quinn has--I wonder if he has a girlfriend?) (Smirks)_

TIFFANY: _(Thought v.o.: Darren...is...handsome...I'll...meet...him... at...Quinn's...tonight.) (Smirks)_

SANDI: _(Suddenly glares at Stacy and Tiffany:) Tiiiiffany_! _Staaaacy_! Like, what are you two _thinking_ about?

STACY: _(Looks innocent:) Nothing_, Sandi!

TIFFANY: _(Looks innocent:) Nothing_...Sandi!

SANDI: _(Looks at both suspiciously for a moment, then gives yet another curt nod:) Good. (Quinn simply looks at all three, and rolls her eyes, more in frustration over **not** being able to tell them Darren's her brother than disgust)_

_(Scene changes to the Appleton Tower--William Appleton's office)_

Benny was talking on the phone while William Appleton was conferring with Appleton's newest employee, _Sam Norwood_. Norwood was a short, stocky, balding man with black-grayish curly hair. Both were going over Appleton Industries' legal documents concerning the Chairmanship of the conglomerate. It was obvious that this more than a weekend work day. William was sitting at his desk with Norwood looking over his shoulder.

WILLIAM: _(Scowls while looking down at the documents:)_ --Then what in the _hell_ did I hire _you_ for, Sam? Why did I _blackmail_ that firm to take you and _"legitimize"_ you if you can't see any legal way for me to take over Appleton free and clear?

NORWOOD: _(Sweats, and feeling intimidated:)_ I know you don't want Darren Appleton looking over your _shoulder--_

WILLIAM: _(Now glares back and up at Norwood, cuts him off:)_ --Like what _you're_ doing--

NORWOOD: _(Nervous chuckle, goes around to the front of the desk:)_ --but at the moment, this document Potter drew up has _no_ legal loophole in it. The only way that you can get it all without Darren Appleton as the future Chairman is that he _gives_ it to you _willingly_ or if something _happens_ to him, and the Board puts your nomination up for a vote to the shareholders to replace him. I can keep looking--

WILLIAM: _(Cuts him off again, rolls his eyes:)_ --If not for that _damn_ Constance, I'd be seriously _tempted_ to have Darren _killed_ by now. I can't be too sure, but she _might_ have enough votes from the Board to _oust_ me, or at least give me a _hard_ time with some strong support among the Board and some prominent shareholders.

NORWOOD: _(Evil smirk:)_ Why not take _"care"_ of Constance, Boss?

WILLIAM: _(Looks off in space, narrows his eyes:)_ Too _soon_ after my _"nephew's" "parent's"_ deaths. _(Looks at Norwood pointedly:) You_ don't worry about that, Sam--just about how I can find a way for Darren to willingly give me the conglomerate. _(Grabs up documents, shuts folder, **shoves** it in Norwood's stomach)_ Now, get _out_.

NORWOOD: _(Winces, bends over forward from William's sudden move:) S-sure_, Boss. _(Quickly leaves the office)_

WILLIAM: _(Glares after Norwood, mumbles under his breath:) Idiot. (Scowls, turns to a troubled-looking Benny, who's just gotten off the phone:)_ And what-in-the-hell is _your_ problem, Benny?

BENNY: That was the man you sent to _spy_ after _Leonard Potter_, Boss--he said he saw _Gerald Woo_ come out of Potter's office.

WILLIAM: _(His eyes grow wide, gets up from behind his desk, growls:) WHAT_?! _(Benny cringes) Woo--was--WHERE_?!

BENNY: _(Now cowers a bit:)_ H-he was in Leonard Potter's office, Boss! That's _all_ he could tell me!

WILLIAM: _(Through clenched teeth, turns from Benny, paces around in the office, worried:)_ Why would Potter _need_ Woo, Benny? To get _something_ on _me_?

BENNY: _(Watches William intently:)_ Maybe he needs Woo to investigate something out there, Boss, you know, like those recent company reports about an employee _stealing_ some our company secrets from our West coast branch and selling them to our competitors?

WILLIAM: _(Waves Benny off, sounding impatient:) Yes_, yes, I know all about those reports, Benny--and I know Woo is one of the very _best_ when it comes to getting to the _bottom_ of these things, like hiring him over the company's security fraud case, finding Darren's birth family, and the like--I'm just wondering if I'm _missing_ something here. _(Stops in his tracks, pauses, realizes something, turns slowly to Benny:)_ Oh--_hell_--could it be _that_?

BENNY: _(Perplexed:)_ Uh, Boss--do _you_ know something _I_ don't?

WILLIAM: _(Looks at Benny with contempt:)_ Benny, I know _everything_ you don't. It just occurred to me--_(narrows his eyes at Benny:)_ what if _Darren_ suspects something about _me_ on the _crash_? I wondered _why_ he simply decided to leave me alone so _suddenly_ the last time he called. _(Gives a questioning look at Benny:)_ Perhaps he _knows_ something, or is _trying_ to know something by retaining Woo? _(Pauses:)_ It's too much of a _coincidence_ that Woo would go to see Potter so _soon_ after Darren had hired Woo to find Darren's birth parents.

BENNY: _(Grins wickedly:)_ Do you want me to send a man to this _"Lawndale"_ and _"take care"_ of your _"nephew"_? You said that if Darren _"interfered"_ with your running the company again, you'd get _rid_ of him.

WILLIAM: _(Now gives Benny a **pathetic** look, as if to say, "You really **are** stupid, aren't you?", sighs:)_ Benny, you _imbecilic twit_, if Darren did hire Woo to find something on me, don't you think Woo would put _me_ at the _top_ of his list if something happened to Darren so soon after Woo talked to Potter? Besides, we really _don't_ know if my _"nephew"_ knows _anything_--like you said, this could be about something _else_. I don't want to play my _hand_ too soon.

BENNY: _(Blinks, looks down foolishly, then back up at William:)_ Well, how about if you send a man to spy on _Woo_?

WILLIAM: _(Gives Benny a **"The numbskull might have a good idea"** look:)_ Yes--you could have _something_ there, Benny--call the man who was spying on Potter to watch _Woo_--and see if there's any way we can get some _surveillance equipment_ to monitor Woo's phone calls, or to at least _bug_ his office. _(Pauses, narrows his eyes at Benny again:)_ Have another man on _standby_ for my _"nephew"_--just in case he _is_ involved in this, and tries to _pin_ his _"parent's"_ deaths on me. I want to be ready to _eliminate_ him, too--possibly _Woo_ as well. _(Sits down at his desk)_

BENNY: Right, Boss. _(Starts to leave)_

WILLIAM: _(Looks up, eyebrow cocked:)_ Oh, and Benny--?

BENNY: _(Stops at the door just before he opens it:)_ Yeah, Boss?

WILLIAM: _Another_ thought has just occurred to me--do you know where _Sanchez_ is? You said that he wanted to get the _second_ part of his payment, and I'm assuming he left an _address_ for us to contact him after the NTSB has finished their investigation?

BENNY: _(Hesitates:)_ Uh, actually, Boss--he said he'd get touch with _us_, not the other way around, and no, he didn't leave any address.

WILLIAM: _(Having spun his chair to face the window, thinks while looking out over the city:)_ Well, _find_ him--I want to make sure to keep an eye on _him_ as well. If he tries to _double-cross_ us, I want him _silenced immediately_. Got it?

BENNY: _(Gives a curt nod:)_ Right, Boss. _(Leaves the office)_

_(Scene is back in Lawndale, at the Morgendorffers, a few hours later)_

Daria and Darren had been back from Jane's for awhile now, and were preparing to get ready to go to the Zen, and it was agreed upon by all parties that Jane would ride with them there. Helen, Jake, and Quinn were sitting at the kitchen table finishing eating the usual lasagna dinner, when Daria and Darren walked into the kitchen. Daria was wearing her usual attire, while Darren wore a modest black short-sleeved shirt and faded blue jeans with Rockport shoes. He put on a faded blue-jean jacket to complete his ensemble.

HELEN: _(Notices both:)_ Are you two _sure_ you won't eat anything before going?

DARREN: _(Thought v.o.: Any **more** lasagna, and I'll turn **into** one.:)_ Er, no thanks.

DARIA: Yeah, Mom--we're gonna pick up a burger after we leave the Zen, or get something while we're there.

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Gee, bro--_I_ wouldn't be caught _dead_ at that _loser_ grunge nightclub--

DARIA: _(Deadpan, smirks:)_ --No, just _alive_ at any _other_ nightclub in Lawndale, at any other _time_, at any other _place_. Just ask _anyone--"Ms. Illegal I.D.". (Helen and Jake gasp, shocked, and glare at a now-shocked Quinn, while Darren looks up quietly, mouths to himself, "Ooboy".)_

HELEN: _(Frowns:)_ Quinn, is that _true_?

JAKE: _(Also frowns, in "back-up" mode:)_ Yeah, _is_ that true?

QUINN: _(Glares a second at Daria, then pleads to her parents:) Muh--oom_! I just _had_ to--

At that moment, the doorbell suddenly rang, and Quinn seized the moment by jumping up to answer it. Everyone followed her out of the kitchen to the living room.

DARIA: _(To Darren while walking:)_ Saved by the _bell. (Darren quietly chuckles)_

A relieved Quinn gratefully opened the door and found _Sandi_ standing there. Sandi simply brushed past Quinn and came in.

QUINN: _(Stunned, while watching Sandi go by:) Sandi_? What are _you_ doing here? I don't remember us agreeing to have _another_ meeting so soon--?

SANDI: _(Smirks:)_ Actually Quinn, I can here to see _Darren_, your--_(Quinn grows wide-eyed and pale, because the jig's about **up**. Sandi's about to find out in front of Quinn's parents that Darren's her brother, which would mean Daria is her sister, and that would mean "Goodbye, Fashion Club")_

Before Sandi could finish her sentence, _Stacy_ came up, followed a moment later by _Tiffany_--both girls looked at each other, surprised to see the other here at the same time, as well as Sandi. Sandi glared at both as they came up through the Morgendorffer's front door, and into the living room. Daria rolled her eyes in frustration.

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: My "cousin" leads an **utterly** damned charmed life.)_

SANDI: _(Really frowns:) Staaacy--Tiiiffany_--like, what _are_ you two _doooing_ here? We like, _already_ had our meeting today!

STACY: _(Looks nervously at Sandi:)_ Well, I--uh--wanted to talk to Quinn to--uh--go over something in the meeting that I _forgot_ to ask her!

TIFFANY: _(Jumps on the "excuse" bandwagon with Stacy:)_ Yeeeah...I... wanted...to...talk...to...Quinn...about...something...too.

SANDI: Both of you could have like, _called_!

QUINN: _(Smirks, not wanting an opportunity to show up Sandi go by, jumps in:)_ Why did _you_ come again, Sandi--to um, ask Darren _"something"_--? _(Stacy and Tiffany look at Sandi expectantly, both showing a bit of a smirk, while Daria and Darren, and Jake and Helen look at each other, then at Sandi)_

SANDI: _(Glares a little at Quinn, who has the upper hand, if only for a second, gets an idea:)_ I--um, wanted to ask Darren about your _internship_, you know, what you _told_ us about, Quinn? I wanted to know if he could get _me_ on at Circa, too? _(Quinn rolls her eyes)_

DARREN: Well, like I told Quinn, it depends on your _grades_. Maybe we can get together next week. Right now, I have an engagement to attend to.

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Yeah, you fashion gals will have to wait until then to try and get your _claws_ into my bro. _(Pulls a red-faced Darren out, while the Fashion Club, with the exception of Quinn, who's actually **smirking**, glare at Daria:)_ See ya. _(Shuts the door behind her)_

QUINN: _(Turns to the Fashion Club:)_ Well, since you guys are here, maybe we can go over the next meeting's fashion ideas!

HELEN: _(Steps in, smiles:)_ Do you girls want something to--

QUINN: _(Cuts her off:)_ --It's okay, Mom--_I'll_ take care of everything. _(Pauses:)_ Don't you gotta get some work to do for _Monday_, you know, like to _prepare_ for, or something?

HELEN: _(Remembers:)_ Oh my--I suppose I _do_ have _some_ work to do. Excuse me, girls. _(Leaves)_

JAKE: _(Grins like an idiot:)_ Hey, girls, _I_ can--

QUINN: _(Jumps in, alarmed:)_ --Like, um, isn't the _thingamajig_ game on TV now, or something, Daddy?

JAKE: _(Eyes light up:)_ Gosh, sweetie, you're _RIGHT_! Excuse me, girls! _(Runs into the living room)_

Quinn rolled her eyes, and motioned the Fashion Club up to her room. Pouting, Sandi, Tiffany, and Stacy grudgingly followed Quinn upstairs.

In the meantime, Daria and Darren were in Darren's rented car going to Jane's.

DARREN: _(Sighs in relief, glances over at Daria:)_ Thanks for getting me from those girls, sis--I'm kind of _glad_ I didn't stay tonight now--I would've _never_ had any _peace_ with them there.

DARIA: _(Smirks, cuts her eyes at Darren:)_ No problem, bro--Quinn's fellow fashion _simpletons_ can say, drive the most _ardent anti-death sentence advocate_ to jump in an _electric chair_ and pull the switch _themselves_ to end their _suffering. (Darren laughs)_

The car pulled up in front of the Lane's. Jane came out of the house, and got in the back. She leaned over the back seat, giving her _full_ attention to Darren, a moment _not_ lost on Daria.

JANE: Yo, guys--_(smirks at Darren:)_ ready for a rollicking-rip-roaring time at the Zen, Darren?

DARREN: _(Shrugs, looks through the rear-view mirror at Jane:)_ I guess, Jane--_(smirks:)_ just don't blame me if I dance like a _log_--I generally _don't_ go out much. I'm more of a _homebody_, you see. _(Daria and Jane look at each other, surprised)_

DARIA: You generally _don't_ go out much, bro? I thought, well--

DARREN: _(Chuckles, gently cuts his sister off:)_ --You thought with my _"looks"_, I'd _party_ into the night, sis? _(Grins:)_ And have _all_ the women _after_ me? _(Jane smirks)_

DARIA: _(Rolls her eyes:) No_, bro--I know you _had_ a _girlf--(stops, checks herself, looks over at Jane, who narrows her eyes at Daria for a moment, while Darren cuts his eyes at Daria, looking pained for an instant, then forward on the street)_--your, um, _friend_. I thought maybe that you'd be out a little _more_, that's all. You don't seem to be the _sheltered-in_ type. Turn here, bro.

Upon hearing this, Jane leaned back in the rear seat, _laughing_ so hard, she was holding her stomach.

JANE: _(Trying to control her laughter:) T-this_ coming from _you_ of _all_ people, Daria? You, who I had to practically _drag_ out of your house and _comfortable_ room the _first_ time I mentioned about going to see Trent and Mystik Spiral at the Zen? _(Daria glares back at Jane)_ Don't tell me that _Quinn's_ been able to _brainwash_ you into believing that all _good-looking people_ like your _brother_ need to go out and _tear up_ the town because _she_ does? _(Darren glances in the mirror at Jane for a second at the word "good-looking", then back on the street)_

DARIA: _(Defensive tone, frowns:)_ That's _not_ what I was saying, Jane. I'm just thinking that Darren would be a little more _well-travelled_, that's all. _(Looks at Darren:)_ I mean, _did_ you go out, you know, anywhere in your _spare_ time, to relax? _(Motions, points:)_ Turn down this street, Darren.

DARREN: _(While turning:)_ Well, like you two, I did go out to eat at some fast-food outlets, and I also hang out at the _gym (thought v.o.: At **home** that is--:)_ working out with my friends, and I went to the arcade and such, but with college now, I generally don't have the time to do that. I never thought of myself like a _"loverboy"_--people who see me for the _first_ time get that impression. I had a _few_ dates, but I _never_ ran around, or anything like that.

JANE: _(Thought v.o., smirks: Geez, the boy's a genuine "cookies-and-milk" guy--wait a second: Did Daria say he **had** a girlfriend--does that mean--[frowns to herself:] **damn**! I'm thinking that **type** of thought again! Get rid of it quick, Jane girl--he doesn't want to talk about what happened with her, except with Daria. I wonder if he has the same problems with her like I'm having with Tom) (Shakes her head to get rid of **that** thought also)_

DARIA: _(Gives a quiet, quick smile to Darren:)_ Yeah, I kind of _figured_ that for _some_ reason. _(Changes subject, smirks:)_ So, what's this I hear about you calling _our_ mom and dad _"Helen" and "Jake"_? I overheard this morning dad _lamenting_ over that little fact while being in your room _again. (Darren looks ahead, wide-eyed, surprised, while Jane leans over the seat, curious, eager to hear)_

JANE: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ Now, _this_ is interesting--_both_ subjects, that is, this--_"room"_ and _"Helen" and "Jake"_ thing.

DARREN: _(Looks sheepish, shrugs:)_ So you know about the _"Helen" and "Jake"_ thing, eh? I couldn't very well call my birth parents _"Mom" and "Dad"_ right off the _bat_ when I found them, could I, Daria? When I first met them, I asked them if I could call them by their _first_ names, because it didn't _feel_ right if I called them that, and not to _disrespect_ my late (adopted) parents. I took care _not_ to call them by their first names in _front_ of you and Quinn to set an _example_--though I don't think, er, _Helen and Jake_ noticed that. _(Smiles:)_ As for the _"room"_ thing, well, _Daria_ can tell you about that later.

DARIA: _(Ponders:)_ I suppose that's understandable about mom and dad what you told told us. _(Pauses, smirks:)_ You didn't want me or Quinn to "demand" that we have the right to call _Helen_ "Helen", and _Jake_ "Jake" because we heard that _you_ did? Don't worry--I call them that _all_ the time--just not _around_ them--unless they get me _PO'd. (Darren shakes his head slowly, smiles quietly)_ Relax, bro--they won't hear it from me. Down the end of this street.

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ Yeah--I don't see what the _big_ deal is, I've called my mom _Amanda_ before, and my dad _Vincent--(stops when she sees where they are, gets into an "astronaut's" tone of voice, whatever **that** sounds like:) "Houston, we have arrived."_

Darren's car pulled in front of the Zen, near the shopping district, and they got out. When they walked in, immediately, the sights, smells and sounds of the underground alternative rock nightclub hit Darren full force. The sights and sounds were what he had expected from Daria and Jane's brisk description--young people chatting away, in their late-teens to early twenties, wearing loose, bold, and in some cases, _outrageous_ clothing. Many of them had different colors of hair, such as blue, deep red, green, and pink. _Goth_, no doubt. Darren looked up and around--the building was obviously an old, converted warehouse. Some rooms on the side were boarded up. No telling what was _behind_ there--one directly in front of him had the walls knocked out, and it had been changed into a food stand, with some hot dogs, tacos, and soda being sold to the long line of hungary teen-agers. The lighting was adequate, though perhaps it could be turned up just a _tad_. He rolled his eyes at that last thought. _Great, Darren--let these people think that you're some sort of **fastidious** person--that'll fit you in **here** nicely. You've been in places like this **before**, just not much--no big deal._

He smelled the air, picking up an aroma of beer in addition to the food, and--wait--_marijuana_? Umm--best not to _inhale_ it if possible. Daria and Jane were ahead of him, and were making their way up to the front through the crowd where Trent and the other band members of Mystik Spiral had set up their instruments. Darren moved forward through the crowd to catch up to them.

Trent looked up at Jane and Daria as they were coming up, and smiled.

TRENT: Hey, Janey, Daria.

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ Yo, bro.

DARIA: Hey, Trent.

TRENT: _(Looks above Daria and Jane:)_ Hey, where's _Darren_? Isn't he with you guys?

JANE: _(Looks behind her into the crowd, along with Daria:)_ Yeah--he _was_ behind us. You see him, Daria?

DARIA: Not yet--_(notices him, then smirks:)_ ah, _there's_ the _cassanova magnet._

Darren was almost near the front when _several_ women, who had noticed him, promptly _surrounded_ him. The Goth-looking women were looking at him dreamily, and asking him questions. He looked around at each of them, red-faced, smiling uneasily. _Here we go again._

GREEN-HAIRED YOUNG WOMAN: _(Smiles at him:)_ I've never seen _you_ around here, dude. You _new_ here, or something?

PINK-HAIRED YOUNG WOMAN: _(Smiles at him, speaks before Darren can say anything:)_ Yeah, you're new here, dude. Do you wanna dance with _me_?

BLUE-HAIRED YOUNG WOMAN WITH A MOHAWK HAIRCUT: _(Grins wickedly:)_ Hey, c'mon with _me. (Darren looks at them all a little panicky)_

DARREN: (Searches for words:) Well, ah--I'm with-- 

_Jane_ suddenly came into the circle, brushing past the now-glaring girls, and hooked her arm with Darren's. She pulled him away from them quickly, smirking.

JANE: Sorry gals, but he's with _me. (Leaves with Darren)_

PINK-HAIRED WOMAN: _(Frowns, looks at the other two girls with her, who are also frowning:)_ Geez, I thought she was with that _Tom_ guy. How'd you like _that_? _(Rolls her eyes, and walks away with the others)_

DARREN: _(Turns to Jane, sighs:)_ Thanks. That's the _second_ time tonight I've been saved from the _she-wolves. (Chuckles:)_ Are we _even_ now following the _sinkhole_?

JANE: _(Smirks:) Nope_. Sorry, but I still _owe_ you, buster.

Jane and Darren came up to the front where Trent and the others were waiting for them, and they walked up to Darren to shake his hand. Daria stood on the side with Jane, privately _proud_ of her brother.

TRENT: _(Smiles:)_ Hey, man--you saved my sister's _life_. I wanna _thank_ you for that, dude. _(Shakes his hand)_

JESSE: Yeah--you're _cool_, man. _(Shakes Darren's hand as well)_

MAX: You the _man_! _(Slaps Darren's hand in a high-five)_

NICK: You're the _one_, son! _(Pats him on the back)_

DARREN: _(A little embarassed:)_ Thanks, everybody. I'm just glad I was there when it happened.

JANE: _(Comes up beside Darren, looks up at him, speaks in a quiet tone:)_ I know _I'm_ glad you were there when it happened. _(Smiles, stares up at him, yet **another** moment that makes Daria raise her eyebrow, wondering)_

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: You know, if I didn't know **any** better--that's **stupid**, Morgendorffer--put it **out** of your mind--she's just **grateful** to him for saving her **life**--that's it--**nothing** else.)_

TRENT: _(Breaks the moment:)_ Okay, then--we'd better get started. _(Looks at Darren:)_ Chill, man, and enjoy yourself. _(Goes back to the front with the others, who take their positions, while Trent takes the lead, grabs a microphone and shouts to the crowd:)_ Let's rock, everybody--Mystik Spiral is back and kickin'! _(The crowd goes wild)_

The music started, and everyone got into the groove. Mystik Spiral went through several of their old songs _(yes, including "Icebox Woman")_, and were about to wrap up the evening with their newest song. In the meantime, Darren had stayed with Daria and Jane about in the middle of the large wall-to-wall crowd, with Jane acting as a _"shield"_ to Darren whenever any girl came up to him, saying he was with _her_, ditto for Daria. _(This happened a few times with the **green**-haired woman, especially)_ Darren, trying to enjoy the songs without the dreamy-looking girls coming up, played into the act by shrugging his shoulders to each one that did, saying he was with Daria and Jane, and privately grateful for his sister's and her best friend's help. Some of the boyfriends of the girls nearby, while at first _frowning_ because of Darren's somewhat remarkable ability to attract their girlfriends, seemed _satisfied_ that he didn't take an interest in their dates. Trent got on the microphone and began to speak over the wildly cheering crowd.

TRENT: Okay, everybody--we've got one more song to sing, our newest tune that will express our _gratitude_ to our _"Mysterious Benefactor"_! We call it: _"Thank You Mysterious"_! _(The crowd really cheers wildly, now:)_ Hey, mysterious dude or dudette--if you're in here _now_, this one's for _you_! _(Darren smiles quietly. He looks over at Daria and Jane, who have genuine small smiles on their faces)_ Hit it, everybody! _(Music begins to play)_

_Got stuck in the muck_ _Ran out of luck_ _Then you showed with $8,000 bucks_ _We weren't doing too well_ _Our lives shot to hell_ _And even our clothes were starting to smell_ _So thanks whoever you are_ _If you're near or far_ _You helped us to get to this here bar!_

_(Note to reader: Kudos to the one and only Austin Covello for the lyrics)_

Darren looked at the group as they finished their song (after several more of the same verses, with some slight differences) with an _uneasy_ grin on his face. _Ooooh--yeah. Veeery interesting song there_. He glanced at Daria and Jane, and they looked back at him with the same look.

Yet the crowd went _ballistic_. Darren, Jane, and Daria looked at each other, stunned. They came close together to talk over the wild cheering.

DARREN: _(Shouts:)_ I guess they _liked_ it--?!

DARIA: _(Shouts:)_ These people will listen to dead _skin_ being _scratched off_ from the _body_! What do you expect?!

JANE: _(Ditto, smirks:)_ Either _that_, or they'd listen to old _paint_ that's _scraped off_ from the side of a _house_! _(Darren laughs)_

DARIA: Seeing all of these people _jumping_ around has made me a little thirsty! You guys want something to drink?!

DARREN: No, it's okay, I'm fine! _(Looks back at the front)_

JANE: Nah, you go on and get something, pard! _(Looks back as well)_

Daria made her way to the rear where sodas were being sold, and stood in line for a few minutes. From her point of view, the crowd noise was starting to dissipate, but the crowd itself wasn't. In fact, she noticed something of a _commotion_ from the middle of the room--where she had left Darren and Jane. A little alarmed, she decided to leave the line, and see what was going on. Daria struggled to get past the throng of humanity in front of her.

In the meantime, Darren found himself looking up at the biggest man he had _ever_ seen. The man, staring down at Darren, who himself was no slouch, looked to be almost _seven feet tall_. He had long, black hair that was tied in a pony-tail, a full, scraggy, black beard on his scowling face, as well as a scar on his right cheek, and had thick eyebrows and a big nose. The man also had large, muscular arms with tatoos over almost every part of both of them. He wore only a black leather vest over his bare, hairy, muscular tatooed-chest and wore black leather pants, with large black boots. Jane, standing beside Darren, narrowed her eyes up at the man and spoke.

JANE: _(Sounding angry:)_ What in the hell are you doing, _Rocco_?!

ROCCO: _(Glares at Darren, cracks his knuckles, snarls:)_ This _"playboy"_ was after my girl!

DARREN: _(Looks at the man with mild disbelief:)_ What are you talking about? _What_ girl? _(Thought v.o.: Only someone who wants to commit **suicide** would want to go after **this** guy's girl!)_

Trent and the other band members were about to pack up their equipment when they heard the commotion in the middle of the room.

TRENT: _(Tries to look in the middle of the crowd:) Damn_, what's going on?

JESSE: _(In his "clueless", laid-back tone:)_ Dunno, man--wanna find out?

TRENT: I guess, dude. _(Looks at Nick and Max:)_ You guys keep an eye on our new stuff, okay? _(Tries to make his way into the crowd)_

NICK: No sweat, man--we'll keep packing it up.

Back in the middle of the room, Rocco's girlfriend, who had been standing by the scene, came out of the crowd, looking none too pleased at him. Darren recognized the girl as the _green_-haired one who had come up to him when he first came in the Zen, and a few times throughout the songs. She stepped in between Rocco and Darren and Jane.

GREEN-HAIRED YOUNG WOMAN: Crap, Rocco--_nothing_ happened! _(Sniffs at him:)_ Damn it! You've been _drinking_!

ROCCO: The _hell_ it didn't, _Sesame_--and I only had _two_ beers! I saw you talking to _"Mr. Debonair"_ here a few times--don't _deny_ it!

SESAME: _(Grudgingly admits:) Okay_--so I _tried_ to talk to him--no _biggie_, see? _(Glares at Jane, then back at Rocco:) She_ and her friend kept me from talking to him, so _nothing_ happened, you big ape!

JANE: _(Looks at Rocco, frowns:)_ Yeah, she's right--I was around him the _whole_ evening! So why don't you find a _banana tree_ and make your _home_ there, Rocco? Darren's with _me_!

ROCCO: _(Narrows his eyes at Darren:)_ You sayin' he's your _boyfriend_, Lane? _(Darren looks stunned when he hears this) (Rocco sneers:)_ I thought you liked ol' Tom-_what's-his-name_! _(Steps menacingly towards Darren, who at this time was **sizing up** Rocco, and Darren narrows his eyes, preparing to defend himself)_

JANE: _(Suddenly steps in between Rocco and Darren, while Sesame backs up on the side, terrified:)_ That _loser_? _(Rolls her eyes:) Please_. Yeah, I'm saying Darren's _my_ boyfriend! _(Darren looks at Jane with a look of disbelief on his face)_ You think I'd allow him to even so much as _look_ at another girl while he's with me?

DARREN: _(Leans over to Jane, while not taking his eyes off Rocco:)_ It's okay, Jane--you _don't_ have to--

ROCCO: _(Cuts him off, in a mocking tone:)_ --Yeah, you don't have to _"protect"_ him, Jane! _(Darren frowns at Rocco's mocking voice)_

Daria had finally made her way to the edge of the crowd in the middle of the room, (not hearing what had just transpired, mainly that Jane had said that Darren was _her_ boyfriend) and saw Darren, Jane, and the _jerkwad_ Rocco all looking at each other--and _smirked_. Rocco had been somewhat of a recent _bully_ around the Zen, practically doing anything he wanted, from _kissing_ other guy's girls, to _cutting_ into dances between couples, using his enormous size to his advantage. He even had tried to come on to _her_ once, but she put him down with a typical remark. The police had looked _down_ on places _(and people)_ like this, and rarely would respond to a call from here when trouble broke out--basically the Zen was on its _own_. Daria suspected that Darren _could_ clean Rocco's "clock"--someone _needed_ to do it--if only Jane would get the _hell_ out of the way. She scanned around the crowd, and became stunned over seeing _Tom_ just coming in the front, and making his way into the crowd to see what was going on. He must've just come back early from his vacation to talk with Jane--about _damn_ time. She looked back to the scene.

JANE: _(Frowns, glares up at Rocco:)_ Who in the _hell_ says that I'm trying to _protect_ Darren? If I _wasn't_ his girlfriend, would I do _THIS_? _(Suddenly turns around, grabs a surprised-Darren's head and **KISSES** him, full on the lips, and **deeply**, wraps her arms around his neck, and pulls him close to her)_

Time _stopped_ for a moment.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11- Aftermath

_(Scene is at the Morgendorffer's--15 minutes later)_

Darren's car pulled into the driveway, and Darren and Daria got out of the car. Daria looked over at her brother, who seemed very _quiet_--and who could _blame_ him after what just happened? Both came up to the door. Before Daria was about to take out her keys, she stared at her brother for a moment, and spoke.

DARIA: _(Sounding unsure:)_ Um, are you _sure_ you're okay, Darren? You haven't said _two_ words since we got back from the Zen.

DARREN: _(Looks at Daria with no expression, shrugs:)_ Ah, I'm _fine_, sis--_(pauses:)_ I'm just a little--_shocked_ Jane would do that, that's all. I was just thinking about _nothing_.

DARIA: _(Stares at him, thought v.o.: Uh-huh, **right**--well, I guess you want to keep your thoughts to yourself, bro--too bad **I** can't.:)_ What Jane did was a shock to _both_ of us, bro. I _still_ can't believe she actually _did_ that.

DARREN: I'm--_sure_ she did it to _protect_ me from that Rocco guy, and it actually _worked_--he _didn't_ fight me.

DARIA: _(Frowns:)_ But you _knew_ martial arts! Jane didn't _have_ to do that--and in _front_ of Tom!

DARREN: _(Ponders for a moment, then looks at Daria curiously:) You_ said to me while you were _angry_ in the car on the way back here that Tom wasn't due to arrive back until _Monday_, so Jane _didn't_ know that he was there, having not seen him yet. _(Pauses:)_ Did you _tell_ Jane I knew martial arts _all those times_ you were on the phone with her while she was on vacation?

Daria's face turned _pale_, and her mouth opened slightly in _shock_.

DARIA: _(Puts her hand on the side of her face, small gasp:)_ Oh, _hell_--I guess I didn't because at the time, I thought it wasn't all that _important_ that you laid out Quinn's _"admirers"_. I _did_ tell her that Quinn was _"boy-less"_, but I forgot to mention _how_ it came about. I _was_ planning to do so while we were watching TV, eating pizza, and looking at _Sick, Sad World_ earlier today, but the episode was _so_ damn good--

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ --You got _carried_ away in the moment. _(Grows quiet:)_ Hey, it's okay, sis--really, I'm--_fine. (Hesitates:)_ Do--do you think everything will be okay with her and _Tom_? He looked at what had happened and _took off_, at least that's what you _told_ me after you saw him come in--

DARIA: --And Jane went _after_ him when I told her. I gotta tell you, bro--he looked like Jane ripped a _piece_ of his heart away. _(Darren looks a little troubled at this)_ Trent was supposed to take her to his place right after what happened. Tom got into his car and left before Jane could stop him, so Trent offered to take her.

DARREN: _(Looks uneasily at Daria:)_ I just hope nothing _bad_ comes from all of this. From what you told me, those two seemed to fit _well_ together.

DARIA: _(Ponders:)_ I don't know what's gonna happen, Darren--but I hope _you_ don't feel _guilty_ over this. If anything, this is _Jane's_--and to a certain extent--_Tom's_, and to an even _lesser_ extent, _my_ fault. _(Darren cocks an eyebrow, while Daria looks down guiltily:)_ You're right, I _didn't_ tell her about your knowing martial arts--

DARREN: _(Gently cuts her off, absentmindedly puts his hands lightly on both of Daria's shoulders, reassuring her, an act that makes her flinch, then relax a little:) --Hold_ it right there. Okay, so maybe you feel a _little_ guilty of forgetting something to tell your best friend--but don't blame yourself, sis--what happened, _happened_. How could you have known that something like _this_ would occur? Leave it at that. _(Turns to door:)_ Let's go inside.

DARIA: _(Turns to the door also:)_ Um--okay. _(Pauses:)_ What will we say if mom and dad, and even _Quinn_, ask us about tonight? _(Looks up directly at Darren:)_ Should we say _anything_?

DARREN: _(Takes a deep breath, looks down sideways at Daria:)_ Well, _I_ don't plan on saying anything. _You_?

DARIA: _(Shrugs her shoulders:) Nah_, I guess not--no need to hear our family give their _sterling_ opinions. _(Unlocks door and both go in)_

Jake was sleeping on the right couch in the living room with the TV on and Helen was sitting on the center one looking over some work for Monday when they saw Daria and Darren walk in. Helen got up and came up to the both of them with a smile on her face.

HELEN: Well, you two are back, I see. How did Trent and Mystik Spiral perform?

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ As well as could be expected--meaning that no fruits, vegetables, or beer bottles were _thrown_ at them, so I suppose it was okay.

HELEN: Darren, did you _enjoy_ yourself?

DARREN: _(Turns a little red-faced over Helen's innocuous remark:)_ Yes--er--I _did_. Though it was a little--_loud_, I--had a good time. _(Looks at watch:)_ Wow, it's late--think I'll turn in. Goodnight, everyone.

HELEN: _(Cocks a curious eyebrow:)_ Late? It's only ten--_(pauses when she sees Darren "yawning":)_ well, if you _really_ feel tired son, we'll see you tomorrow morning. Goodnight. _(Watches Darren leave up the stairs)_

Daria watched Darren go up the stairs like Helen did, then turned back to her mother.

DARIA: Where's _Quinn_? _(Pauses, smirks:)_ Don't tell me she's _back_ in the _"love-em-and-leave-em"_ business? Big Bro's little _"skirmish"_ with Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie has now lost its fearsome _luster_ in the eyes of the _Quinn-crazy_ boy's club?

HELEN: _(Glares at Daria:) Very_ funny, Daria--she's in bed--I think being with the Fashion Club _wore_ her out.

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ You don't say. _(Pauses:)_ You know, in my opinion, the Fashion Club wore out _something_ in our home the _first_ time I saw them here.

HELEN: _(Arched eyebrow:)_ Oh? What?

DARIA: Their _welcome_.

HELEN: _(Rolls her eyes:) Daria--_

DARIA: _(Snaps her fingers, gets a faux look of concern on her face, cuts Helen off:) --Damn_! I knew I _forgot_ something! Mom, could I _borrow_ your SUV and drive over to _Jane's_? I just remembered that I left, uh--my _favorite writing pen_ over at her house when I went there with Darren earlier today. I can't write anything in my _"diary"_ without it. _(Pauses at Helen for effect:)_ It's _really_ important that I get it from her--it won't take long, okay?

HELEN: _(Hesitant:)_ Well, Daria--I suppose if you _really_ need your er--"favorite" writing pen--

DARIA: _(Makes haste, grabs Helen's keys:)_ --Thanks, Mom. _(Leaves before Helen can say another word, slams door)_

Darren went into his room, shut his door, and immediately leaned on his back against it, still stunned over what Jane had done. He slowly bowed his head, closed his eyes, and began to think.

DARREN: _(Thought v.o.: Why didn't I try to **resist** that kiss? **Why**? She did it so __fast_ before I could do anything, but **still**--I don't need to dwell on this!) (He begins to undress himself for bed, notices his dresser mirror then slowly walks up to it, sees a **tiny** amount of Jane's lipstick on his lower lip, which was not noticeable to Daria and Helen, and puts his right index and middle finger on it, stares at the mirror)

Daria got into Helen's SUV, started it up, and pulled out into the street. She had a _deep_ frown on her face as she began to drive to the Lane's.

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: Okay, Jane--seeing Tom's given you an **out** for the moment, but that doesn't mean **I'm** going to give you one. What in the **hell** were you thinking?)_

About two minutes later, the red SUV pulled in front of the Lane's and Daria got out, leaving the SUV parked on the street. She went up to the front door, and knocked. Amanda Lane opened the door.

AMANDA: _(Surprised, talks in her soothed-over voice:) Daria_! This is a surprise!

DARIA: _(Deadpan:) Tell_ me about it. _(Pauses:)_ Is Jane here yet?

AMANDA: Oh no, not yet, dear. She and Trent are still out. _(Pauses:)_ I do hope nothing's _wrong_. I thought Jane would come with you and your brother.

DARIA: Well, um--_something_ came up, Mrs. Lane, and Jane er, _opted_ to go with Trent in the "Tank" to take care of it. Would it be all right if I waited for her here until she comes in? I _really_ need to talk to her.

AMANDA: Of course, Daria--come in. _(Lets Daria in, and leads her into the living room couch where they sit down)_ Oh, I meant to tell you that I wanted to meet your _brother_ and thank him for saving my daughter's life. Jane left me a _note_ and told me what he had done. I found it when I came back from the pottery seminar while you all were at Trent and his group's _little show_.

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: How **charming**. Following your little **"bonding session"** with Jane, you found out by a **note** that you didn't lose your daughter to **death** because you were at some **dumb** seminar--way to go, Mrs. Lane:)_ Uh, yeah, I see. Well, me and my family are kind of um, _proud_ of him too. 

AMANDA: _(In her soothing tone:)_ Oh, I'm sure you all are, Daria. That reminds me of a _story_ about a large, but gentle _butterfly--(Daria groans to herself, for she certainly doesn't want to hear this)_

_(Scene is in the Tank, about 10 minutes later)_

Trent had taken Jane to Tom's right after what had happened in the Zen, by which he and Jesse had _seen_ the kissing scene right when it had happened. Needless to say, both were _stunned_ when they saw it. While Trent was taking Jane over to Tom's, he asked her _why_ she had done such a thing, and all she would say is that she was _protecting_ Darren from Rocco because she thought Rocco was going to beat the _hell_ out of Darren--and it had actually _worked_, for Rocco _did_ back off. Trent asked if he should wait for her when he dropped her off at Tom's, and she had said _no_--she wanted to talk to Tom alone. Trent had then went back to the Zen to pick up the other members of Mystik Spiral and took them home--Daria and Darren had _already_ left. He was on his way back to Tom's when he saw Jane waiting out in front of Tom's for him. She had a _unreadable_ look on her face, and her arms were crossed. Trent pulled up beside her, and happened to glance at Tom's window. A light, which had been on with a silhouette that was presumably Tom's against the door's window, suddenly turned _off_. Jane got into the Tank quietly. She simply stared forward, saying nothing. Trent looked at her for a moment, then drove on.

TRENT: _(Glances sideways at Jane:)_ Janey--you okay?

JANE: _(Still stares forward with that unreadable look on her face, talking in a neutral tone:)_ Yeah, I _guess_.

TRENT: So, uh--how long had you been waiting for me?

JANE: _(Still looks forward, speaks in the same tone:)_ I'd just gotten out there before you came, about a minute. Tom said he'd watch out for me until you'd come.

TRENT: _(Pauses, talks in a quiet tone:)_ Janey, if you want to _talk_ about what happened with Tom--

JANE: _(Gives a quick, annoyed glance at Trent:) No. (Looks forward again:)_ I just want to sit here and _think_, bro--okay?

TRENT: _(After a second:)_ Uh, sure, Janey--whatever you want.

For the rest of the ride, not another word was said.

_(Scene is back at the Lane's, about 10 minutes later)_

Daria, after enduring Mrs. Lane's soothing and annoying _"butterfly stories"_, had called her mother and said that she was waiting for Jane to arrive with Trent. Helen, who had assumed that Jane rode back with Darren and Daria, asked Daria why didn't she say anything earlier when Daria was at home with her. Daria then said that Trent had to help Jane with something _important_, (certainly _not_ a lie) and that Jane and Trent would be a little late coming in. Daria added that she had thought they'd be there by now. After a pause, and Mrs. Lane assuring Helen that Daria was perfectly all right being there in the Lane household, did Helen say it was fine for Daria to wait for Jane. Mrs. Lane then told Daria that she was going to bed, and for Daria to let in Trent and Jane. Daria sighed in relief as she saw Mrs. Lane go upstairs, for Daria could at least have a little peace while waiting to talk to Jane--and thinking about what exactly she would say when she saw her best friend. Deep in thought, Daria bent down to rub Zachary and Taylor as they came up to her in the living room.

The Tank turned into the driveway of the Lane's about the same time, and both Lane siblings saw Helen's SUV out front.

TRENT: Whoa--isn't that _Mrs. M's_ SUV? What's it doing here?

JANE: _(Narrows her eyes:)_ I _don't_ think Mrs. Morgendorffer was the one that drove it, Trent.

TRENT: _(Raises an eyebrow:)_ You mean--

JANE: _(While getting out:)_ --Yeah, _Daria_ did. She's probably _waiting_ for me. _(Walks with Trent up to the front door, then stops:)_ Look, Trent, could you leave me and Daria alone to talk? _Please_?

TRENT: Sure, Janey--no problem.

Daria had heard the Tank come into the driveway and went to open the front door. She decided to try and _not_ look angry at her best friend, because Daria suspected that Jane may have had a _tough_ time talking to _Tom_--no need to _pile_ on Jane's feelings. Daria, however, was also _determined_ to find out why Jane had done such a thing to Darren. Daria took a deep breath and opened the door before Trent could knock on it. All three of them looked at each other a little awkwardly, then Trent spoke.

TRENT: Uh--hey, Daria.

DARIA: Hey, Trent.

JANE: _(In a quiet tone, sounding sheepish:) Yo._

DARIA: _(Tries to sound civil, keeps her expressionless face:) Jane. (Lets both in, follows them into the living room)_

TRENT: _(**Faux** stretch and yawn--something **shocking** for Trent to do, by the way:)_ Man, I'm _beat_. I'll see you guys tomorrow. _(Begins to go upstairs, followed by Zachary and Taylor)_

DARIA: _(Smirks:) Afternoon or night_? _(Jane gives a hopeful look to her friend--maybe the talk won't be as **bad** as it was with Tom because Daria gave her usual sarcastic remark--one could only **hope**, right?)_

TRENT: _(Chuckles, then coughs:)_ Good one, Daria. G'night. _(Goes up stairs)_

DARIA: Goodnight, Trent.

JANE: Goodnight, bro--thanks for picking me up from Tom's. _(Watches Trent go out of sight up the stairs)_

DARIA: _(Now gives her full attention to Jane, tries to not sound angry:)_ You forgot to thank him for taking you there in the _first_ place right after Tom had seen what you _did_ to Darren.

JANE: _(Sighs, resigned to her fate, now goes into the living room to sit down on the couch, followed by Daria:) Yeah_, yeah--I screwed up _big_ time, okay? _(Pauses:)_ Lemme _have_ it. _(Sits down on the couch with Daria, shuts her eyes, **cringes** to wait for the onslaught)_

DARIA: _(Sighs herself after seeing Jane cringe:) At ease, private. (Jane cautiously opens one eye to look at Daria)_ First things first. Some of what happened tonight was _my_ fault because I should have told you that my bro was _proficient_ in the martial arts--you didn't have to er--_"protect"_ him against Rocco.

JANE: _(Stunned, rolls her eyes:)_ Oh, great--fantastic--_wonderful. (Pauses:)_ Now I even feel _worse_ for making myself look like an _idiot. (Looks at Daria uneasily:)_ Um--_how's_ Darren?

DARIA: _(Narrows her eyes:)_ Still in _shock_, I believe--you saw _yourself_ when you finished your little _lip-lock_. He was _completely stunned and red-faced. (Ponders:)_ When I think about it now, _you_ were the _same_ way.

JANE: _(Blushes furiously, takes a defensive tone:)_ Uh--actually, I really _didn't_ see his face--hey, _I_ couldn't believe what I had done either, you know! I _owed_ Darren for saving my life, and I thought that by _kissing_ him, making it look--_(hesitates:)_ um--_"convincing"_, Rocco would think that I was Darren's girlfriend, that Rocco would leave him alone, and--

DARIA: _(Cuts her off:)_ --It _worked_. Yeah, yeah, I know all about that--I _was_ there too--_remember_?

JANE: _(In an off-handed way, shrugs:)_ Besides, _you_ let it _slip out_ on the way to the Zen that Darren _had_ a girlfriend. It's not like she'd be _jealous_ or anything, because he's no longer _with_ her, right? _(Daria looks away, now uncomfortable) (Jane arches an eyebrow at Daria's reaction, becomes a little concerned:) Right_?

DARIA: Jane, I'll tell you about the _"girlfriend thing"_ later. _(Pauses:)_ First, tell me about your _talk_ with Tom. Are you guys _back_ together?

Jane paused for a moment, expressionless, then spoke.

JANE: _(In a neutral, but dramatic tone:)_ Daria, it's _over_ between me and Tom. _Finished. Kaput_.

DARIA: _(Looks at Jane, mouth slightly agape:) Oh, boy_--what happened?

JANE: _(Looks down, still sounding neutral:)_ Well, Trent had just dropped me off at Tom's, and Tom had just parked in front of where he lived, and had gotten out. Tom _slammed_ the door when he walked in his pad, and I came up to the door--

_(Flashback--at Tom's)_

JANE: _(Pounds on Tom's door, frantic:) Damn it_, Tom--open up!

TRENT: _(From the Tank, leans through the passenger side, shouts:)_ Janey, do you want me to come in there _with_ you, and--

JANE: _(Turns towards her brother, frowns, shouts:) No_, Trent--you go back to the Zen and take the rest of the guys back home--I want to talk to Tom _alone_, all right? Don't wait here for me--_(sees Trent hesitant:)_ geez, I'm _okay_, okay? _Go_ already! See if Daria and--_(pauses for a second:) Darren_ are still there when you get back--come back for me after you take the rest of the band home, all right? _(Turns back to the door, while a still-unsure Trent slowly drives away, eyeing Jane)_ Tom, you might as well damn know I'm _not_ leaving this door!

There was a pause, then the door slowly opened. Tom stood there, _frowning_.

TOM: _(Sounding cold and quiet:) Come in_, Jane. _(Jane walks by him, gives him a slightly sheepish glance. She stands in the middle of Tom's living room as he shuts the door and gives a **cool** stare at her with his arms crossed)_ Okay, you're in here, now--I guess the _next_ thing you can do is give me some sort of an _explanation_ as to why I came into the Zen and found you trying to _examine_ Daria's brother's _tonsils_ with your _tounge. (Jane takes a deep breath, then begins to talk)_

JANE: _(Present v.o.:)_ I told him about how Darren saved my life, what led up to the uh, _"incident"_, and how I felt that I had to _owe_ Darren by _"protecting"_ him from Rocco when Darren was confronted. Like you said Daria, I didn't know Darren knew martial arts when I did what I did.

DARIA: _(Present v.o.:)_ And what did Tom say _after_ you told him all of this?

JANE: _(Present v.o., sounding unsure:)_ Well--he got really quiet for a bit and said nothing. I guess he was taking in all what I said. I simply stood there, watching him, saying nothing, but for some reason, I _didn't_ feel like I was in the _wrong_ here. _(Daria gives her an **ever-so-slight incredulous look** that Jane doesn't seem to notice:)_ Anyway, after about a minute, he spoke, and said--

TOM: I see. _(Pauses:)_ And you felt like you were _"protecting"_ him.

JANE: That's what I said. Rocco looked at us for a moment, _shocked_, probably feeling _foolish_, then turned to his girlfriend, who promptly walked off, feeling PO'd. Rocco went after her, trying to apologize.

TOM: _Um-hmm. (Pauses, then adds:)_ And how did Darren _react_ to what you did?

JANE: _(Looks at Tom, sounding unsure:)_ I--really didn't look at him _directly_, Tom. I was kind of--_stunned_ about what I did. I _thought_ I saw Daria looking at me, but she was looking _past_ me to you with a _horrified_ look on her face--at least what _passes_ as horrified for Daria, and I turned and saw you leaving. _(Present: Daria rolls her eyes, and Jane shrugs)_

TOM: _(Gives a skeptical look, nodding slowly:) Yeah_--and then you came after me with Trent after I left you.

JANE: _(Cocks her eyebrow:)_ I'm _here_, aren't I? _(Pauses, narrows her eyes:)_ You're saying you don't _believe_ me, Tom?

TOM: _(Frowns:)_ No--actually, I _do_. It's just that, for _some_ reason, I felt that you _liked_ kissing Darren--he _did_ save your life--maybe you felt like you "owed" him _far more_ than a simple "thank-you"--?

JANE: _(Now becomes angry, frowns, stunned:)_ What in the _hell_ are you _implying_, Tom?

TOM: _(Cold tone:)_ I don't know, Jane--why don't _you_ tell _me_? It's really not that _difficult_ to do, you know--just move your _mouth and say the words_.

JANE: _(Walks up to Tom with a fierce scowl:)_ Now just _wait one damn minute_! Are you saying that I _liked_ that kiss?

TOM: _(Cooly:)_ You _grabbed_ his head and wrapped your arms _around_ his neck, _French-kissing_ him, Jane! What am I _supposed_ to think? _(Gets a pained look on his face:)_ How could you _do_ that to me?

JANE: _(Now enraged:)_ How could _I_--? How could _you_ leave on your vacation with your _friends_, let me find out on your _now-fixed_ answering machine that you're _not_ going to be here when I get back from _my_ vacation--and this _after_ you had practically _begged_ me to give you _another_ chance! _(Adds:)_ Why in the _hell_ did you think I was jogging this morning so _soon_ after my mom and I had gotten back? I _couldn't_ sleep well because I was thinking about what I was going to say to you when you got back, so I figured a jog could help _clear_ my head!

TOM: _(Narrows his eyes:)_ It seems to _me_ that your jog _"clouded"_ your head _more_ instead of clearing it.

JANE: _(Raised eyebrows:)_ And just what in the hell is _THAT_ supposed to mean?

TOM: Jane, you jogged across the _unstable_ landfill--

JANE: _(Cuts him off:)_ --Which I've done _hundreds_ of times, _do_ go on--

TOM: --and you nearly _died. (Pauses:)_ Maybe if you had been thinking _more_ clearly, you wouldn't have fallen into that sinkhole in the _first_ place. I _thought_ I _told_ you to _stay away_ from the landfill when you jogged by there. _(Jane looks stunned over Tom's admonishment, especially the **"thought"** and **"told"** part)_ Then, your _kissing_ Darren. Tell me if _that_ is someone who is thinking _clearly_.

JANE: _(Present v.o., sounding shaky:)_ Daria, I tell you, I was so _angry_ I could've _screamed_, and I was _this_ close _(narrows her index finger and thumb close together:)_ to _smacking_ Tom. _(Daria looks stunned, while Jane regains her composure:)_ Anyway--

JANE: _(Furious:) T-there_ you go, again, Tom--_telling_ me what to do! _Thinking_ for me--and not one _freaking_ word about my being _okay_, like, _"Thank God you **didn't** die, Jane!" (Pauses:)_ Okay, maybe you _did_ have a point on my _not_ thinking clearly--but, _hell_, Tom--I had _you_ on my mind at the time, and where'd we go from here on our relationship. _(Pauses:)_ Can you _really_ blame me for being like that? _(Tom now looks speechless, then tries to say something, but Jane holds up her hand to cut him off:) Hold it_. You obviously didn't think that _much_ of me, Tom--or you would have been _relieved_ that I was okay.

TOM: _(Now, stunned and angry:) Damn it_, Jane, I _do_ care for you! I've _always_ cared for you from that first moment I saw you in the Zen! I needed to take that vacation with my friends to clear _my_ mind--

JANE: _(Now turns the tables:)_ --Which seemed to cloud _your_ head even more by saying something _insensitive_ as _berating_ me over falling into the damn sinkhole! Tom, I could've _died_! _(Jane looks as if she could **cry**, something **rare** for her)_

TOM: _(Becomes quiet:)_ Jane--look, I'm _sorry_. It's just that I was _so_ angry--

JANE: _(Cuts Tom off again, turns from him, holds herself, speaks in a low tone of voice:) --What_ were you going to _say_, Tom?

TOM: _(Confused a bit:) What_? Say what?

JANE: _(Turns to him, sounding louder:) What_ were you going to say to _me_ when you came back from vacationing with your friends?

TOM: _(Looking unsure:)_ That--well--uh--we should try it _again_.

JANE: _(Arched eyebrow:) --And--_?

TOM: And--_what_?

JANE: _(Rolls her eyes:) Geez_, Tom--you went with your friends to _"clear"_ your head to figure out what to say to me, and then you simply come back and say that _"We should try it again"_?

TOM: _(Shrugs:)_ It was the _best_ I could come up with, Jane! There really was nothing _else_ I could say, okay?

JANE: _(Shakes her head slowly, looking sad:)_ How about something like, _"I have **feelings** for you, Jane"_, or, _"We've gone through too much together, Jane, **don't** leave me"_? _(Pauses, grows quiet:)_ I--I _know_ you care for me, Tom--_(walks up to him, puts her hand gently on his face, looks up at him:)_ and I _still_ care for you, too--just not in the way I _used_ to. _(Tom is about to say something, but Jane gently puts her middle and index finger on his mouth:) Shush_. Tom--over the past few _months_, we've seemed to--slowly drift _apart_. The argument we had over my painting of you in front of Daria only seemed to _confirm_ that drifting. _(Turns slowly away, looks down:)_ We _used_ to understand each other, but now, because of that drifting, we're _so_ far apart, it's like we've reached a point of _no_ return--like--like there's _nothing_ there anymore, that it seems so--so--_empty. (Looks back at Tom:)_ Don't tell me that you haven't _felt_ the same thing that I have recently.

TOM: _(Tries to speak, but struggles to get out his words, beginning to look pained:)_ I--I--i-it's--really _over_ between us, isn't it?

JANE: _(Looks down, with the same pained look:) Yeah_--yeah, it is. _Damn_.

TOM: _(Looking sad, talks low:)_ No way we can get _past_ this--?

JANE: _(Slowly shakes her head:)_ Over the great _void_ that's come between us? _Nuh-uh_--I can't see _any_ way to _bridge_ it.

After a long moment, Tom reluctantly went over to Jane, and _hugged_ her. Resistant at first, Jane slowly hugged him back, and her _quiet_ tears began to flow freely, crying silently in Tom's shoulder. After a minute, both backed away and looked at each other. Tom spoke, trying to control his emotions.

TOM: I--I'll _always_ be there for you, Jane--you can talk to me _anytime_.

JANE: _(While wiping her eyes:)_ Y-yeah, I know, Tom--a-and I'll _always_ be there for _you_.

TOM: _(Pauses:)_ Jane?

JANE: Yeah?

TOM: _(Hesitates, smiles:)_ I'm kind of--_curious_, I've _got_ to ask--_did_ you _like_--

_(Back to the present)_

Jane caught herself, frowning slightly. Daria looked at her inquisitively.

JANE: _(Now changes her tone:)_ Anyway, Tom offered to give me a ride home, but I told him that Trent was coming back to pick me up. Tom then offered me to wait with in his place with him for Trent, but, well, I told Tom I needed to get out and get some _fresh air_--privately, I needed to get away from _him_ before I lost it _again_--I think he _knew_ that in a way, and seemed kind of _relieved_ himself. He said he'd watch out for me from his window until Trent came back to pick me up, which he did, and here I am.

DARIA: _(In her usual flat tone, still hiding her shock:)_ So that's _it_. It's really _over_ between you two.

JANE: _(Shrugs:)_ Pretty much so, but we're still gonna be _friends_--though I think for a while, we'll probably _not_ be around each other--the _memories_ of being together are a little too _fresh_ on our minds.

DARIA: _(Looks into space, in a rare reflective tone for her:) "It is better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all."_--Tennyson. _(Jane looks at Daria, curiously)_ From _Mr.O'Neill's_ class, Jane, remember? After _Tommy Sherman's_ death? _(Jane then slowly nods, remembering)_ Er--may I ask you a _personal_ question?

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ You're about to ask me if I ever _loved_ Tom, right?

DARIA: _(Blushes slightly, looks away:)_ Well, um--

JANE: _(Takes a deep breath:)_ I--had some _strong_ feelings for him at one time, Daria--if you don't mind, I'd--kind of like to leave it at _that_, okay?

DARIA: Um--_sure_.

JANE: Ooookay. _(Pauses:)_ So, does this mean that I'm _off_ the hook?

DARIA: _(Ponders, looks directly at Jane:)_ Provided that you answer _one_ more question.

JANE: _(Looks at Daria hesitantly:)_ Er--proceed.

DARIA: _(Looks for words:)_ Did you--um, well, _like_ that kiss that you gave to my brother? You didn't _quite_ finish what Tom had said at the end of the conversation between you two.

Jane _blushed_ furiously, her eyes were slightly wide open, and her mouth was trying to form _cohesive_ words. Daria stared at her best friend expressionlessly, then knowingly nodded slowly.

DARIA: _(Realizes:)_ Oh, my _God_--you _did_ like it.

JANE: _(Tries to cover herself frantically:) NO_! I-I did it to _help_ Darren! I _just_ met your brother this morning! How could I--_(pauses, regains her composure:)_ I didn't _feel_ anything--_(then sheepishly adds:) at all_.

DARIA: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ You _sure_ about that, Lane?

JANE: _(Narrows her eyes:)_ W-what do you _mean_, Daria?

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ Jane, I saw how you were _behaving_ around Darren after he had saved you--all the _signs_. I tried to contribute it to your being _friendly_ to him for saving your life, but then I saw that you were--well--being a tad _too_ friendly talking to him and such. _(Jane frowns slightly at Daria)_ Hey, you _were_ pretty _gregarious_ to him at just about _every_ opprtunity, hooking your arm _with_ his--don't _deny_ it--and just, well--_(pauses, sees Jane's look of confusion:)_ look, maybe you weren't _aware_ that you were like _that_ to him, you know--?

JANE: _(Now looks stunned beyond words:)_ Daria, Darren and I are just--_friends_! _(Pauses:)_ You--think--that I--_like_ your brother?

DARIA: _(Looks for words:)_ Well--uh--hey, what's _not_ to like about him? He's _nice_, maybe a little _too_ nice for his own good, he's _honest_, and he's well--ah--

JANE: _(Smirks:) --Handsome_?

DARIA: _(Blushes, frowns a bit:)_ Hey, _I_ don't have _insects_!

JANE: _(Now with a perplexed frown:) Huh_?

DARIA: _(Shakes her head, with her eyes closed:)_ Never mind--an--_inside joke_ I share with _Quinn. (Thought v.o.: And I never thought I'd share **anything** with Quinn except the same last name--and even **that's** something she tries to use **against** me with the 'ol "cousin" thing.)_

JANE: _(Trying to sound nonchalant, shrugs:) Yeeeah_. Hey, Darren's--_cool_, okay? Nothing more, nothing less. _(Blushes again, thought v.o.: He's just a **friend**, just a friend, just a fr--**damn**!)_

DARIA: _(Stares at Jane quietly for an instant, looking for any sort of emotional sign of **betrayal**:)_ Okay, then. _(Gets up with Jane:)_ Well, it's late. I guess I'd better go to that _insane asylum_ that I call home. I'll be seeing you--

JANE: --Not so fast. _(Pauses:)_ Um--you told me something about the _"girlfriend thing"_ with Darren? You know, about the one he _"had"_? Methinks you guys are _hiding_ something about that, am I right?

DARIA: _(Looks surprised, then arches an eyebrow:)_ What's the _big deal_ about the _"girlfriend thing"? (Realizes:)_ Are you telling me--?

JANE: _(Again tries to cover herself, waves Daria off:) No _! Daria, c'mon--I'm just--_curious_ about it, that's all. After all, I don't want there to be any _misunderstanding_ between Darren and his girlfriend over this--_(then adds as an afterthought:) if_ he still _has_ one--?

DARIA: _(Looks uncomfortable:)_ Um, Jane--I don't know if I should _say_ anything about _that_ now. It's really _personal_ with Darren.

JANE: _(Rolls her eyes:) Geez_, Daria--I just poured my _heart_ out to you over what happened with Tom, and you can't even tell me about the _"girlfriend thing"_ with Darren? _(Snorts:)_ It's not like she _died_ or anything, and he's trying to get over her _death_, right? _(Daria turns slightly pale, and Jane looks stunned)_ Aw, hell, tell me that's _not_ it--?

DARIA: _(Gives out a long sigh:)_ You have an _uncanny_ sense of _stumbling_ over things, _"Partner In Crime"_, you know that? _(Pauses:)_ I'll tell you what happened, _(narrows her eyes at Jane:)_ but you've got to _promise_ that you won't say _anything_ to Darren unless he says something to you about it _first_, got it?

JANE: Okay--sure, I promise. _(Sits back down on the couch with Daria, who reluctantly begins to explain)_

_(Scene changes to Gerald Woo's office, the conference room, Los Angeles, the same time)_

Gerald Woo sat at the head of the table with David on one side, and another one of Woo's employees, a thin, but tall African-American man with a crew-cut and a trimmed black mustache, sitting across from David. There were several files that were scattered on the table, as well as some empty cartons of Chinese food, and some empty soda cans. Woo let out a small _burp_, got up, and began to slowly pace around the table with his hands behind his back, all the while talking.

WOO: Okay, let's go over this _again_--following my talk with Leonard Potter this morning, I discovered that William Appleton had sent Potter out here to get Potter out of the way so William Appleton could make all of the Appleton conglomerate's business decisions free and clear of Potter's _so-called_ "legal interference", even putting in Appleton's _own_ man for the new legal head--

DAVID: _(Cuts in, nods his head:)_ --And while doing so, you discovered from Potter that William Appleton had started to have something of an _attitude_ change following a stockholder's meeting last year in the Florida Keys--

MAN: _(Now cuts in on David:)_ --Because William Appleton _knew_ something that only a _few_ other people knew of on his brother Arthur Appleton Sr. and Lucille Appleton _from_ that meeting, _(looks over at Woo:)_ at least that's what Woo believes, and it _may_ have something to do with the _murder_ of Darren Appleton's parents--

WOO: _(Takes it up from man:)_ --It's a stretch, _Leroy_, I admit. When Darren Appleton first called me to talk about finding his birth parents, he mentioned in _passing_ the meeting in which his aunt found out from her sister-in-law about Darren being adopted. Darren also pointed out that his _uncle_ said that Darren's _father_ told William about the adoption at the _same_ meeting as well--

DAVID: --Which was kind of _strange_ because Arthur Sr. couldn't figure out why William was suddenly behaving in an _odd_ way following that meeting. If Arthur Sr. _had_ told William about the adoption while there, there would be _no_ need for William to _behave_ in the way that he did, with all of the _"hints"_ William was giving out--

LEROY: _(Eyebrow cocked, looks between the others:) --Conclusion_--?

WOO: That maybe William Appleton _wasn't_ told by his brother, rather William had _overheard_ Millie and Lucille Appleton talking--

DAVID: --And heard that he had a nephew that was _adopted. (Pauses:)_ If that's the case, then why didn't William try to simply _blackmail_ Arthur Sr. and Lucille, telling them he _knew_ Darren was adopted? You know, like a cash payoff, or something?

WOO: _Compare_ the two David--the control of the _conglomerate_, and all that corporate _power_ verses giving out _"little"_ payments of _"hush"_ money? There _is_ no comparison. The only missing piece here is that William Appleton was _not_ next in line to get the Chairmanship--_Darren_ was.

LEROY: But William wasn't _sure_ that he was next in power at the time because only _Potter_ was the executor of the business will, and only he, Arthur Sr., and Lucille Appleton knew of who would next be in power. _(Pauses:)_ But since William Appleton and Potter _hated_ each other, a possible _collusion_ between the two over who was next in power after the Appletons died was probably out of the question.

WOO: _(Nods his head quickly:)_ Yes, Leroy--I certainly don't think Potter had _anything_ to do with this. The key is this _Sanchez_ fellow. Someone--_possibly_ William Appleton, or someone working _with_ Appleton, _had_ to hire Sanchez to do this. We can't _prove_ anything because the _motive_ is still _weak_, having no possible connection as of yet. Darren Appleton _chose_ William Appleton to head the conglomerate. Unless we find Sanchez--we _can't_ do much, and taking this information to the police would only serve to _alert_ whoever did hire Sanchez, and probably _move_ them to _silence_ him. _(Looks around to both men with an **urgent** look on his face:) Find_ Sanchez, gentleman, but try to keep it as _low_-key as possible--no need to bring _attention_ to what we're doing.

DAVID: _(Hesitant:)_ Woo, what about _Darren Appleton_? You told him of what you found, and for him to keep all of this to _himself_ until we found Sanchez. Do you think _he_ might be in _danger_?

WOO: Not at the moment. Darren Appleton is _relatively_ safe where he is--with his birth family in Lawndale. If anything _changes_, I'll contact him _immediately_, but remember, I want to hold _off_ saying that his _uncle_ is on my list of suspects until we can find Sanchez and see what he knows--no need to _tip_ William Appleton off if Darren Appleton _confronted_ him over this, and we turned out to be _wrong_--could you imagine the _mess_ that would occur if that happened? Now, while his uncle _does_ know where Darren is, I don't think he'll go _after_ him because Darren's _not_ interfering with William Appleton's running of the company--that and the fact that William Appleton _doesn't_ know that Darren's hired us to investigate what happened to cause the crash outside of the NTSB's official investigation. If William Appleton knew _that_, I'd _shudder_ to think what he'd do if he found out that his _nephew_ was behind our hiring, particularly if that William Appleton was _indeed_ the culprit. _(Pauses, looks down at the table, shuffles the files and papers:)_ Now, if there's not anything else--

At that moment, the door buzzer sounded at the front door. Woo, Leroy, and David looked at each other inquisitively, and Woo went out to answer it. He came up to the glass door, seeing a man with a red _goatee_ wearing small, dark, sunglasses, a white tee-shirt, a red cap, black slacks, and white tennis shoes balancing a small box of pizza on his shoulder. The man, also chewing gum, was looking through the glass door back at Woo, who opened the door for the man.

WOO: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ Yes?

MAN: Pizza delivery for a--_(pulls out a receipt with his free hand, looks down at it:)_ fellow named _"Whu". (Looks at Woo, smirks:) You_ Whu?

WOO: _(Glances down at the man's receipt, rolls his eyes:)_ You've just made a _lame_ rhyme there, fellow--_most_ amusing. My name _is_ Woo, but the name on your receipt is _misspelled_. My name is spelled W-O-O, _not_ W-H-U, and I did _not_ order a pizza.

MAN: _(Looks stunned, pauses:)_ Uh, you _sure_?

WOO: I am _quite_ positive, sir.

MAN: _(Looks around, unsure:)_ Oh, man--they must've wrote down the _wrong_ name when the person called. Geez, this is my _first_ day on the job, and I don't want to go back to my _boss_ and tell him I couldn't deliver a _hot and gooey_ pizza. What should I do? _(David and Leroy walk in the lobby from the conference room at this time)_

WOO: I am sorry, but there's nothing that I can do. Perhaps--

DAVID: _(Walks up to Woo and the man:)_ --Hey, what _kind_ of pizza is that?

MAN: Huh? Oh, pepperoni and cheese. _(Looks a little distraught:)_ Man, I wish I could get _rid_ of this pizza--guess I'll have to call my boss--_(begins to turn away)_

DAVID: _(Motions the man in:) I'll_ take it. I'm _still_ hungary, anyway. _(The man walks in, smiles, while David digs into his pocket:)_ How much?

MAN: $9.00, sir. _(David pulls out his wallet:)_ I _really_ appreciate, this, sir. _(The man takes the pizza to David, while Leroy goes up beside Woo, and both are rolling their eyes)_

LEROY: Man, I still can't believe you're hungary after _all_ that Chinese food!

WOO: _(Smirks:)_ I guess the _old_ saying holds true--and I'm _not_ saying that because _I'm_ Chinese. _(Looks at Leroy:)_ Come on and help me clean up the conference room. _(Both go back)_

David gave his money (plus a generous tip) to the man, and took the pizza, which David put on Carla's desk. While David opened the box to savour the smell of the pizza, thus turning his back from the man, the man quickly, but quietly, pulled out something from his pocket, and _slipped_ it under Carla's desk, beneath the front _lip_. David took out a slice and began to eat it while the man waved at him, smiling, and left. David went to the door, and locked it back.

The man gave a quick glance back at Woo's office, and seeing no one watching him, walked unto the next street, and got into a small, white sportscar. He took off his cap to reveal his _red_ hair--yes, it was the _same_ man who had been outside Potter's office and had seen Woo come out of it. He pulled out a cell phone, and dialed some numbers. The sound of ringing could be heard from the other end, and then it stopped.

MAN: It was successful, Mr. _Lodell_. The bug I planted is _sensitive_ enough to pick up a _fly_ buzzing in there from _500 feet away. (Pauses:)_ Yessir, it looks like they're closing up shop tonight, but I can listen in on them when they come in Monday morning. _(Pauses:)_ Right, yessir--what's that? You want me to come by here _Sunday_ morning? Yessir, I can do that--_(starts up his car, and drives off while still talking on the phone)_

_(Scene is back at the Lanes, the same time)_

Daria had just finished telling Jane about Stephanie Reardon. Jane simply _slumped_ back in the couch, taking in all Daria had said, and then shook her head slowly in disbelief. This boy had _hell-upon-hell_ put on him, all in the span of a little over two months.

DARIA: _(Gets up from the couch with Jane, goes to the front door with her:)_ --And with that, I'll take my leave. _(Pauses, hesitates:)_ Um--you _sure_ you're going to be all right, Jane?

JANE: _(Arches an eyebrow:)_ Hey, why _shouldn't_ I be, Daria? After what you just told me, if anything, it's _Darren_ who we should be worried about. I'll be--_fine_.

DARIA: _(Shrugs:)_ Okay. See you tomorrow?

JANE: No sweat--I'll call you. _(Opens door, Daria goes out:)_ Later.

Jane shut the door and leaned back against it, sighing. She slowly put her index and middle finger on her mouth, and stared forward into space, thinking.

JANE: _(Thought v.o.: Well, at least I don't have to worry about Darren **having** a girlfriend, or in his case, a **fiancee** get the wrong idea about my kissing him--poor guy.) (Pauses, thought v.o.: Problem is, **was** it the wrong idea? **Did** I **like** that kiss? **Damn** it--why can't I **answer** those two questions?) (Turns off downstairs light, goes upstairs to her room)_

Daria was deep in thought while driving back home. What had happened earlier tonight was obviously still on her mind--she couldn't help but wonder if what Jane had done somehow was the final _catalyst_ that drove her and Tom apart once and for all. Was it _really_ over between them both? Should she _talk_ to Tom _herself_ to make _absolutely_ sure if it was over? Daria closed her eyes and shook her head quickly--_damned_ if she was going to get involved in this anymore--Jane and Tom were on their _own_. Daria then began to think about her brother, who had said, even _insisted_, that he was okay with what Jane had done--he said that Jane thought she was only _"protecting"_ him from Rocco. Daria sighed to herself. Could Darren really just _shake off_ all of what had happened? She felt _sure_ that Jane was _hiding_ more about that kiss than Jane wanted her to know about--was _Darren_ doing possibly the _same_ thing?

The SUV drove up into the driveway of the Morgendorffer home, and Daria got out after turning off the headlights. A light was still on in the living room, and Daria groaned to herself. She had hoped that no one was up and that she could slip up quietly to her room, but it was now _obvious_ that that little thought had gone out of the window--too bad she couldn't sneak _into_ one of the filed-off bar ones to her room to escape detection. Oh well--just give whoever it is a little _sarcasm_, and they'd leave her be. Daria quickly made a mental note to herself to give an _excuse_ for not having the _"lucky pen"_ if her mother was the one who met her in the living room. Her _dad_? _Please_. She unlocked the door and went in.

When she entered the living room, she was surprised to see _Darren_, who had put down the book he was reading, and get up off the couch to meet her. He was wearing his pajamas and housecoat, and he looked--_concerned_?

DARIA: _(Raised eyebrows:) Darren_? What are you doing up? I thought you were gone to bed--?

DARREN: I--couldn't sleep, so I got up to read my book. I came downstairs to make some warm milk, and came across _Helen_, who was about to follow _Jake_ to bed. I told her I couldn't rest, and she asked if I could wait up for you when you got back from _(looks at Daria pointedly, then emphasizes the name:) Jane's_, so, of _course_ I said yes.

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ Okay, yeah--I went over to Jane's, and before you ask, she's _fine_. Unfortunately, her relationship with Tom is--well, _over. (Darren looks shocked)_

DARREN: _(Talks in a quiet tone, closes his eyes:) Oh, God. (Looks down guiltily, has a pained look on his face, sounding sarcastic:)_ This is just _great. Another_ thing on my mind to _worry_ about. _(Sighs heavily, looks away)_

Before she had even realized it, Daria had walked up to her brother and gently put her hand on his _chest_, now with a _concerned_ look on _her_ face, looking up at him, trying to _reassure_ him. Darren looked down at her, slightly startled by her action. Daria became wide-eyed for a moment, _shocked_ at what she had done, and backed off quickly, _red-faced_. She immediately recovered, and spoke.

DARIA: Darren, we've gone over this--you had _nothing_ to do with Jane and Tom breaking up. Don't feel _guilty_, okay? This apparently had been _building up_ for awhile--even I was _shocked_ over Jane telling me that she and Tom's relationship had deteriorated _steadily_ over the last few months.

DARREN: _(Looking surprised:) Really_? _(Pauses, cocks an eyebrow:)_ But it certainly didn't _help_ their relationship concerning with what happened tonight, you've _got_ to admit that, Daria.

DARIA: True, but you're _still_ not at fault here, bro. _(Looks at Darren, who seems to be now looking off into space:)_ Darren?

DARREN: _(Snaps out of his stare:)_ Eh? Oh, I'm just thinking about what's going to happen the _next_ time Jane and I meet, presumably tomorrow.

DARIA: _(Pauses to consider her next few words, then proceeds:)_ Darren, I want to ask you a question right out of the _blue_. Is that _okay_ with you?

DARREN: _(Looks at Daria uneasily for a moment:)_ Sure, I guess--what?

DARIA: Did you--did you _like_ Jane's kiss?

Darren's eyes widened for a second, then he turned red-faced. He stared at Daria for moment more, then spoke.

DARREN: _(Looks uncomfortable, searches for words he can **believe** himself:)_ O--of course _not_, sis--I mean, that's--well--_(chuckles uneasily:) crazy_! Sure, it was a _kiss_--but, well--she's your _best friend_! I couldn't _possibly_ bring myself to do _anything_ with Jane! _(Thought v.o.: **Could** I? NO! That's **ridiculous--isn't it**? I mean, sure, Daria **kind of** likes Jane's brother Trent--I **think**, but that's different--**right**?)_

DARIA: _(Stares at her brother for a moment to look for any sort of emotional **betrayal**, cocks an eyebrow, smirks:)_ Hey, _all_ I asked was whether or not you liked Jane's kiss, _not_ if you could have a _relationship_ with her--you didn't have to go the _extra_ mile, bro.

DARREN: _(Narrows his eyes playfully at Daria, somewhat relieved:) Heh--amusing_, sis--_very_ amusing. _(Quickly changes his tone:)_ So, ah--well, since you're here now, I'll turn in--I'm pretty tired for _real_ this time. _(Starts to go upstairs:)_ Goodnight.

DARIA: _(Follows Darren up the stairs, clicks off the living room light:)_ I'm coming behind you, bro--goodnight. _(Thought v.o.: **Crap**--damn it--I'm **sure** they're both **hiding** their feelings about that kiss--what in the hell is gonna happen tomorrow, I wonder? If something **is** there between them, how would **I** respond to it?) (Goes out of sight upstairs behind Darren)_

The next morning, Darren had gotten out of bed, stretching with his barbells in a red sweatsuit. Jake _wasn't_ there this time--Darren had suddenly remembered that Daria said the night before that she had heard Helen and Jake talk in Darren's room while he was gone jogging yesterday morning. More than likely, Helen had caught Jake sleeping in Darren's bed once _again_, and had admonished him for sitting there and watching over him. Darren chuckled to himself over visualizing _that_ particular scene for a moment, finished stretching, then went quietly downstairs, and then outside.

As he began jogging in the morning light, he thought about the _dream_ he had last night--of he and _Stephanie_ kissing passionately in a kaleidoscope of wild colors and lights--and when he had opened his eyes after the kiss, it was _Jane's_ face he saw. _Whoa--get over that, Darren--she's just a **friend**--your **sister's** best friend. On top of that, she's just had a **break-up** with Tom. So what if she's **attractive**, and is **fun** to be around with, has those **luscious lips, grayish-blue eyes**, and--and--**WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I THINKING**?_ After taking a quick, deep breath to clear _that_ thought from his mind, Darren kept jogging, slightly changing his route, (he had _three_ of them to help himself get to know all of Lawndale) and this time, he took the route that came from the Morgendorffer's, around and behind Cranberry Commons Mall, past the _"Big Strawberry"_ (the so-called roadside tourist attraction), past what Jake called _"The Speed Trap"_, Lawndale High (where he then turned around to go back), and then back to the Morgendorffer's by way of the small central business area, _Dega Street_.

Darren frowned to himself for an instant when he started his jog back--it had just occurred to him that this route was the _farthest_ from the Lane's residence. Did he _subconsciously_ and _deliberately_ do that to _avoid_ meeting Jane, who he suspected was probably jogging this morning, too? Maybe--maybe not. Darren had thought about _what_ to say when he met Jane today--he stepped up the jog, considered for a second, and decided to go with a _standard reply_--do not let Jane feel _guilty_ if possible--she had enough things on _her_ mind, just as he did on _his_.

Jane was well into her jog when she started to think about Darren. She, too, had had a dream about him, only it was a bit more--_erotic_. She had dreamed of bathing in a _waterfall_ (with her swimsuit on, mind you) on one of those tropical islands when she saw Darren come out from behind the waterfall, (in his swimming trunks, mind you) and they started to kiss while standing _in_ the waterfall--_deeply_ kissed. Jane thought about her hands feeling his hard, wet, _muscles and chest_--his thick, wavy, wet, reddish-brown _hair_--his handsome, wet, _face_--his--his--_DAMN! Get a grip, Lane! What-in-the-hell-is-the-matter **WITH** you? **Why** did you kiss Darren like **that**? Are you really and **completely** over Tom to now just think about Darren that **fast**?_ Jane _tried_ to tell herself it was because she _owed_ Darren for saving her life yesterday morning, and that she had thought that _bastard_ Rocco was going to beat the _hell_ out of Darren last night in the Zen. Jane kept telling herself _that_ reason over and over again--_yeah, that's it--**had** to be it. Nothing else, girl. He's Daria's (and I **suppose** Quinn's) Big Bro--remember that. Yeah, you've tried to get your Big Bro to be with your "Partner In Crime", but that's **different**. Darren's still trying to get over his fiancee's death. Me? I'm trying to put Tom **behind** me--you're not ready for **another** relationship. He wouldn't be **ready** for you anyw--damn it, there you go **again**!_ Jane tried to erase the thoughts from her mind as she continued to jog.

Jane's jog had started from the Lane's, past the abandoned quarry, through the _"Crewe Neck"_ neighborhood, and High Hills Park. She turned and started towards a street that ran back towards Dega Street--near the small central area of Lawndale. She wondered what would happened when she would see Darren today--what would _she_ say--and _him_?

Jane wouldn't have to wait long to find out. Both she and Darren were deep in jogging and thinking when they literally ran _into_ each other around the corner of a building near Dega Street. Jane was about to fall backwards from the collision when an alert Darren reached out and grabbed around her lower back, keeping her from falling, and inadvertently pulling her into his _arms_. Jane found herself leaning _against_ Darren, with her hands on his _chest_. Both looked in each other's eyes for a second, wide-eyed and surprised, their blushing faces only _inches_ from one another, sweating and breathing _hard_ from jogging (Or perhaps something _else_? Don't go there!). Darren then _slowly_ let Jane go, backing away from her slightly, and speaking first.

DARREN: _(Looks for words:)_ Are--you okay, Jane? I, ah--

JANE: _(Gently cuts him off:)_ --Oh, I'm fine--I should've been watching where I was, um, going, Darren. _(Blushes again:)_ Uh, are _you_ okay?

DARREN: Er, yes, I am. _(Chuckles uneasily:)_ It was _my_ fault. I should've seen where I was going.

JANE: _(Herself chuckling uneasily, then smirks:)_ Well, er--how about if we _both_ just take the blame, okay?

DARREN: _(Smiles:)_ Seems fair. _(Pauses, looks for something to talk about:)_ So--how long have you been jogging this morning? I've been out for an hour.

JANE: Oh, let's see--_(looks up, ponders:)_ um, about 45 minutes. I was heading back home.

DARREN: Same here.

Jane and Darren looked at each other uncomfortably. Darren was about to say something when Jane spoke out.

JANE: _(Blushes, looks away, speaks quietly:)_ I'm--_sorry_ about last night, Darren. I had _no_ right--

DARREN: _(Hesitant, then decides to go into his planned statement for when he met Jane today:)_ --Look, Jane--you were only trying to _protect_ me from that "Rocco" guy, okay? Daria told me last night that she _forgot_ to tell you about me knowing some martial arts, and you didn't know, so don't _worry_ about it--_(shrugs:) I'm_ not. _(Thought v.o.: **More** lies.)_

JANE: _(Looks at Darren for an instant, then smirks:)_ Nice _"speech"_ there, Darren. _(Darren looks surprised)_ I guess you went through a _hell_ of a lot of _preparation_ to get it down _pat_, so I guess I shouldn't _disappoint_ you by _accepting_ your _"comforting words of understanding". (Pauses:)_ Okay, so I _didn't_ know about the "martial arts thing"--that was still _no_ excuse to do what I did. I--

DARREN: _(Cuts her off, in an assuring tone:)_ --Tell me, Jane--what would've happened if you _hadn't_ done what you did? _Think_ about it for a moment.

JANE: _(Ponders, shrugs:)_ Isn't it _obvious_? You and Rocco would've gotten into a fight, _(sighs:)_ and I would've seen you in _"action"_--

DARREN: --And possibly draw everyone _else_ into the fray, maybe _you, Trent, Jesse_, and a whole host of _other_ people, and we may have ended up with a full-scale _brawl_, and someone could've gotten hurt--or _worse_. Instead, you--_(pauses:) kissed_ me, and Rocco backed _off_. There was no _harm_ done, and _no_ one got _hurt_.

JANE: _(In a quiet tone, looks down:)_ Save for _Tom. (Darren looks grim, forgetting that "little" detail, and Jane notices his reaction:)_ Hey, now it's _my_ turn to make a _planned_ speech. You didn't do _anything_, Darren--_I_ did. _(Pauses:)_ Did Daria tell you that I _talked_ to Tom after he saw us?

DARREN: She didn't go into any _great_ detail about it, but she said that you two weren't seeing each other anymore. _(Pauses:)_ Look, I think I _know_ what you're going to say, but for some reason, I still feel _awful_ about the whole thing--I _really_ do. Tom seemed to be a _nice_ guy.

JANE: He was--_is_. It's just that he and I started to go _downhill_ in our relationship. _(Starts to walk toward the business district, and Darren walks beside her:)_ We had a long talk last night, and decided to end it on _good_ terms.

DARREN: _(Looks contrite, talks in a quiet voice:)_ I'm--_sorry_, Jane. I kind of--_understand_ how it is to--_lose_ someone that really meant a _lot_ to you. _(Stares forward blankly, sighs)_

Jane stopped in her tracks, and Darren stopped beside her, looking at her curiously. She turned to him, staring up at Darren for a moment, then spoke in her own quiet voice.

JANE: _(Hesitates:)_ Darren, please don't get _angry_ with Daria over what I'm about to say, but she told me last night about _Stephanie Reardon. (Darren looks at Jane with no expression)_ Daria made me promise not to say anything to you unless you said something to me about it _first_, and in a way, I suppose that you just _did. (Darren then smiles weakly)_ God, I'm _so_ sorry for your loss. At least Tom and I are _still_ friends, and he's said that he'll be there for _me_, and I'd be there for _him. Your_ loss was far _greater_ than mine.

Darren stared down at Jane, took a deep breath, and spoke.

DARREN: It's okay, Jane--I _won't_ get angry at my sister for telling you about Stephanie. I suppose that you would've found out about it sooner or later, I guess. _(Pauses:)_ I know I have to get on with my life--Stephanie would've _wanted_ me to. _(Looks up grimly, clenched teeth:)_ I'm just--I'm just trying to figure out _how_ to go on without her. _(Looks back down at Jane:)_ Being here with my birth family is _helping_ me do that--_(hesitates:)_ that and talking to--_you_ about it. _(Now it's Jane's turn to smile weakly) (Changes subject, grins:)_ I don't know about _you_, but I'm _famished_. You want something for breakfast? _My_ treat.

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ How can I refuse _that_ offer? _(Pauses:)_ What about Daria and her family? Won't they be kind of _worried_ if they don't see you come back on time? _(Starts walking with Darren)_

DARREN: No--Daria said that they all sleep _late_ on Sunday mornings--I've seen that _first_ hand since I've been here. Besides, I'll call them after I've eaten breakfast with you. Choose the place you want.

JANE: _(Ponders:)_ How about _Do Me A Donut?_ It's a couple of blocks from here. They've got a _mean_ ham and cheese omelet.

_(Note to reader: I believe this was the name of a cafe/restaurant where Daria and Jane met in the episode "Monster"--you know, the one where Daria imitated Quinn by saying something like, "Which is my best side, I know they both look good", and embarassed herself in front of Trent?)_

DARREN: Yes, I've been in there before once since I've been here. _Do Me A Donut_ it is, then. _(Both go down the street)_

_(Fast forward to "Do Me A Donut", a little later)_

Darren and Jane were sitting in a booth beside a row of glass windows and talking casually, while the cafe was about half-full of patrons. The plates that had the ham and cheese omelets and sausages on them were long gone by now. Both had half-full glasses of orange juice on the table in front of them, and Jane was talking about Daria.

JANE: --And Daria in the end said, _(in a "Daria-type" voice:) "Never mind glasses. You can see things that other people can't. You can see better than other people. So to **hell** with them and what they think of you and your glasses."_ So she went back to her glasses.

_(Note to reader: This, of course, was said near the end of the episode "Through A Lens Darkly")_

DARREN: So Daria had worn contact lenses for a day, and then went back to her glasses--but the _real_ point here was that it didn't matter _either_ way because Daria is just Daria with or without her glasses--it's what's on the _inside_ that counts, and not what people on the _outside_ may think.

JANE: _(Before finishing up her glass of orange juice:)_ Yep--that pretty much sums it up, hombre.

DARREN: _(Arches an eyebrow:)_ Any idea what she _did_ with them? You know--maybe kept them as some sort of _momento_ or something, _(smirks:)_ reminding her that it's okay to be _human_?

JANE: _(Shrugs, smirks:)_ I don't know. After that day, she never said anything about them again. I know she drives _without_ them--she and Quinn came to bail me and Mystik Spiral out of jail for crossing the center line in Fremont. _(Note to reader: See "Speedtrapped") (Pauses:)_ You know about that little _"episode"_, Darren?

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ Actually, I do. _Quinn_ told me about it sometime last week. _(Smirks:)_ You weren't _drunk_, were you?

JANE: _(Rolls her eyes, smirks:)_ Oh, _that's_ funny--maybe you're not such a _stick-in-the-mud guy_ after all. _(Darren chuckles)_ Nah--just that a _backwoods deputy_ got _lucky_ that day, and we happened to help fill his _quota_, that's all. _(Pauses:)_ It seems Quinn _loves_ to see we outcasts get "ours". _(Grins sinisterly:)_ I really _laughed_ when I heard from Daria about your saying that Quinn was _your_ "cousin" to the Fashion Club, and not Daria. Boy, I bet that really rubbed Quinn the wrong way, huh?

DARREN: _(Gives a heavy sigh:)_ And I assumed that Daria told you how I felt _afterwards_?

JANE: _(Snorts:)_ Just because Quinn threw a _"temper tantrum"_? C'mon, Darren--the only thing you did wrong was feeling _bad_ about it--Daria's right--you're _too_ nice. _(Darren cocks a quick eyebrow at that remark)_ It's about _time_ that Quinn got a piece of her _own_ medicine--God _knows_ how she's done _Daria_ after all of these years. Maybe Quinn will finally learn that she's _no_ better than anyone else.

DARREN: _(Narrows his eyes:)_ Jane, she's my _sister_. Though I can't condone all Quinn has done, she _is_ trying to take her future _seriously_ now with going to the Fashion Institute--

JANE: --Only because you beat the _crap_ out of Joey, Jeffrey, and Jamie, which led them to spread the _word_ about you, and that kept the other boys _away_ from Quinn, which in turn took her mind _off_ of them, and more towards her _studies_--at least that's what _Daria_ said to me over the phone. _(Snorts:)_ As if anyone who knows Quinn can actually _believe_ that.

DARREN: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ --And you _don't_--?

JANE: _(Shrugs:)_ Let's just say that I'm gonna need some _"convincing"_, Darren--look, Daria _deserves_ to have a sister that should look up _to_ her, and not down _on_ her because of the way Daria _acts_ and _looks. (Pauses, hesitates:)_ Daria told me over the phone while I was on vacation that you said you were _proud_ to be her brother. I could tell over the phone that your saying that _really_ got to her, because she sounded--well, in a _"Daria-style"_ emotional tone of voice--and believe me, I _can_ tell--_happy. (Darren frowns slightly, deep in thought, then gives a quiet smile) (Jane then smirks:)_ Of course if you _repeat_ anything I just said about her _to_ her, I'll _deny_ it, and then _hunt_ you down, and _kill_ you--_(winks:) union_ rules, you understand.

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ Don't worry, Jane--mum's the word. _(Looks at his watch as an afterthought, and his eyes go wide:) Oooboy_-- We've been here for almost _two hours_! I'd better call and tell everyone I'm fine. I'll be back. _(Slips out of the booth to a payphone on the side wall)_

Jane watched Darren go to the phone, and put her elbows on the booth table, looking around at nothing in particular. This "little" talk with Darren about her and Daria's "adventures" in Lawndale had actually gone well--both she and Darren were getting past the kissing incident, feeling _less_ uncomfortable around each other, though Jane still found herself occasionally _staring_ at Darren when she thought he didn't notice her doing so--Jane couldn't be sure, but she also felt Darren staring at _her_ when _she_ wasn't looking, either. She glanced down on the booth table and noticed the _tip_ that Darren had left for the waitress sticking out from under the napkin holder on the side nearest the glass window, and cocked an _inquisitive_ eyebrow at the _amount_.

In the meantime, Darren had contacted the Morgendorffers, and Daria, who was dressed in her _Mark Twain_ pullover nightshirt, and eating some cereal while writing on her notepad, had answered the phone in the kitchen.

VOICE OF DARREN: Hey, it's me, Daria--I just wanted to call and say I was okay. I didn't mean for the time to slip by without notifying you guys.

DARIA: It's okay. Mom and dad are still in the sack, and as you know, Quinn doesn't come out of her beauty _coma_ until the crack of noon on Sundays. _(Pauses:) Where_ are you?

DARREN: I'm--with _Jane_. We had breakfast together and we're now just talking here at the _Do Me A Donut_ cafe. I sort of--_"ran"_ into her while jogging.

DARIA: _(After recovering from her intial shock of hearing her brother saying he was with Jane:)_ I--see. _(Lowers her voice:)_ So, um--have you two kind of--well--

DARREN: _(Sounding slightly **irritated**:)_ --We talked about what happened last night, if _that's_ what you're asking, and it's passed. _(Pauses:)_ Jane's _pretty_--er, I mean, pretty _good_ at--_conversing_. We talked about _general_ stuff, and the time just _flew_ by.

DARIA: _(Not totally convinced:)_ Umm--_yeah_. So, when will you be returning so I can tell our _genetically-shared_ parents when they wake up, and not to _sick_ the _tracking dogs_ on you, bro?

DARREN: Maybe about 30 minutes or so, Daria--I'll see you then. _(Hangs up)_

Darren went back to the booth to Jane, and remained standing.

DARREN: _(Looks down at Jane:)_ Everything's okay, Jane--I don't have to worry about Jake _"scouring"_ the streets for me. You ready to go?

JANE: _(While getting up:)_ Ready and rarin'. _(Looks at tip, motions her head at it:)_ Uh, _$20_ is a lot of money to leave as a _tip_ for a meal that costs about _$12_, don't you think?

DARREN: _(Eyes slightly wide, looks for words, tries to feign surprise:) $20_? _(Reaches to get the tip, replaces it with **$5** from his pouch while Jane slides out:)_ Whew--er, thanks for _noticing_ that, Jane--I guess I was _so_ into our talk, I didn't see it. _(Thought v.o.: **Old** habits die hard--**stupid**, Darren.)_

JANE: _(Shrugs:)_ No sweat. _(Goes with Darren to the cashier, then leaves with him)_

About 15 minutes later, Darren and Jane came up to the Lane's front porch. Jane went to the door, and looked up at Darren.

JANE: Well, thanks for escorting me back here, Darren. _(Pauses:)_ Um--you want to come _in_? _(Darren slightly raises an eyebrow, which Jane adds quickly:)_ My mom told me when I left this morning that she wanted to meet and _thank you_ for saving my life. It won't take but a few minutes.

DARREN: _(Shrugs, privately **relieved** for some reason:)_ Sure.

Both came into the living room, where Mrs. Lane happened to walk by. She stopped, stared at Darren, and cocked an eyebrow.

JANE: Mom, this is Darren Coverton, Daria's brother, and the guy that saved my life yesterday morning.

DARREN: _(Reaches out to shake her hand:)_ How do you do, Mrs. Lane.

Amanda Lane simply _stared_ at this _very_ handsome young man, her mouth slightly agape. Darren looked at his outstretched hand, Amanda Lane, and then over at Jane a little uneasily, having seen _this_ before. Jane looked at her mother and couldn't help but put her hand over mouth and surpress a _laugh_. Amanda cast a quick, rare _glare_ at her daughter before regaining her composure and shook Darren's hand, smiling.

AMANDA: _(Slightly red-faced:)_ Oh my--I'm sorry for my reaction, Darren--Jane didn't tell me you were so _handsome_.

DARREN: _(Now himself slightly red-faced:)_ Uh--thanks, Mrs. Lane, it's quite all right--believe me, I've had the _same_ reactions from _other_ women as well.

JANE: _(Smirks with a raised eyebrow:)_ Oh, are we _flattering_ ourselves, Darren? _(Thought v.o.: **I** can attest to the **"reactions"** thing.)_

AMANDA: _(Gives her soothing, but surprised scolding voice, scowling a little at Jane:) Jane_!

DARREN: _(Laughs:) Hardly_, Jane. I'm merely stating a _fact. (Sighs:)_ Believe me when I say that _"looking good"_ isn't all that it's _cracked_ up to be. It can get on one's _nerves_ after a while.

JANE: _(Chuckles:)_ You mind telling your sister _Quinn_ that?

AMANDA: Now Jane dear, that's _enough. (Looks at Darren sincerely:)_ I wish to thank you, Darren, for saving my daughter's life. If there's anything me or my family can ever do for you, please don't hesitate to ask. _(Looks at Jane:)_ I've tried to contact your _father_, Jane, but I haven't _located_ him yet, or _Wind, Summer, and Penny._

JANE: _(Mutters under her breath, rolls her eyes:)_ So what _else_ is new?

DARREN: _(Catches a little of Jane's bitter-sounding words:)_ Well, uh, thanks, Mrs. Lane--but that's okay. Your daughter and I have had breakfast and a long talk before we came back here--_(looks at Jane, gives a quick smile:)_ just knowing I was there to help her out when she fell in that sinkhole is _more_ than enough for me. _(Jane shows a quiet smile, gives Darren a grateful look)_

AMANDA: _(Smiles quietly, suddenly realizes something, then gasps in her soothing voice, puts her fingers on her mouth:) Oh_, Jane! Does _Tom_ know about what Darren _did_ for you? _(Jane and Darren look at each other a little uncomfortably)_ I meant to tell you that he called here last night just when I came in, and I remembered that Trent told us when he picked us up from the airport that Trent and his band was going to play at that "Zen" place later that same night. _I_ told Tom that you were probably there--he said that he would _try_ to go down and _see_ you. _(Jane and Darren look red-faced) (Pauses:)_ I then saw the _note_ you left me that said that Darren had saved your life. _(Sighs:)_ I just wished that I could've told Tom about _that_. Did you _see_ Tom at the Zen?

JANE: _(Sounding quiet while Darren looks away:)_ Um, Mom--yeah, I--_saw_ him--uh--I want to talk to you about that a little _later_, okay?

AMANDA: _(Waves her off, not noticing the way Jane spoke:)_ Very well, dear--but please do it as _quickly_ as possible. I have to go to an _"Art In Pottery"_ show in Bannonburg in about two hours, and I won't be back until _very_ late tonight. _(Jane sighs in an exasperated manner while Darren gives her a sympathetic look)_ It was wonderful meeting you, Darren. Jane, I'm going to take a shower. _(Leaves to go upstairs)_

DARREN: Same here, Mrs. Lane. _(Watches her leave, looks back to Jane:)_ Er, Daria said that your family--_travels_ a lot.

JANE: _Oooooh_ yeah--this place that I call _"home"_ is a regular _"revolving door"_. In one minute, out the next. It seems to me at times that Mom and dad are real _blurs_. I have to _strain_ my eyes sometimes to just see either one _still_ for a second. _You_ ever had that sort of thing happen in _your_ home with your adop--I mean, _parents_?

DARREN: Actually, _no_--and it's okay if _you_ think of my parents as "adopted", Jane--_I_ just don't. _(Jane smiles, sheepishly:)_ My (adopted) parents worked _hard_, but they _made_ time for me--me being what I _thought_ an only child and all--they _showered_ me with attention, but they didn't _spoil_ me. Our off time was _really_ off--they had a _rule_ that any business calls _not_ be made after _10:00 p.m._, and not a minute more. I guess I was _lucky_.

JANE: _(Looks down:)_ Yeah, I guess.

DARREN: _(Changes the subject:)_ So, uh--have you told _Trent_ about what happened with Tom yet?

Jane stared at Darren and gave look that said, _"Are you kidding_?", and smirked. Darren frowned slightly at Jane for a moment, perplexed, and then remembered.

DARREN: Oh, that's right--he's _still_ asleep, isn't he?

JANE: _Bingo_. I'll tell 'em after he's been up for a _few_ hours--it takes him a while to get _going_ without his customary cup of coffee, you understand.

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ Ah, yes, of course. Well, I'd better get going, Jane--_(is about to go out the front door)_

JANE: --Um, Darren?

DARREN: _(Turns to her quickly:)_ Yes?

JANE: _(Looks everywhere but at Darren, a little red-faced:)_ Er--well--I--just--wanted--to--know--if, well, uh, if that _kiss_ made you feel, well--_(adds quickly:)_ look, it's okay if you don't want to say _anything. (Her voice trails off:)_ I didn't want to _embarass_ you or something or another. _(Thought v.o.: Or **myself**.)_

Darren's eyes slowly grew wide, and his mouth was slightly open--was Jane asking him if he _liked_ that kiss? Daria tried to ask, of course, but Darren couldn't really _tell_ her because he wasn't quite sure how _Jane_ felt--and _himself_ as well. That and the fact he could not make himself believe that something _did_ happen between the two in the Zen last night--or maybe even _earlier_ when they first met--was that _possible_? Darren then took on a _determined_ look, and stared down at Jane. He _willed_ himself to get out the words.

DARREN: I--well--_(long pause:) yes_, I--_liked_ that kiss you gave me. _(Jane looks shocked beyond words)_ I--I'm _sorry_ for _feeling_ that way, Jane--I didn't want to put you on the _spot_ like that. _(Turns back to the door:)_ I'll _go_ now.

Just as Darren was about to put his hand on the door handle, he saw a _hand_ come from his right side, and it quickly _rested_ on his. With his heart beating at a _furious_ pace, he slowly turned back to Jane, who was looking up at him with a slight _frown_ on her face.

JANE: _(Tries to control her shaky voice:)_ D-don't you _dare_ leave here until you _hear_ me out, Darren! Just who in the _hell_ are you to tell me that you _liked_ that kiss, and then try to leave me _hanging_ like that--just like what you said you _didn't_ want _me_ to feel on the _"spot"_? Don't you want to hear how _I_ felt about it?

DARREN: _(Looking contrite:)_ I-I'm sorry, Jane--you're _right_. I'll listen to you.

JANE: _(Closes her eyes, looks pained, then stares straight up into Darren's eyes:)_ I--I _liked_ that kiss too--a _lot. (Now it's Darren's turn to look shocked) Damn it_--I can't believe this is happening --I mean, I _just_ met you directly for the _first_ time yesterday, and I'm--well, _(long pause:) attracted_ to you! _(Turns and walks away from a now-dumbfounded Darren, stops in the middle of the living room, hugs herself, starts to sniffle:) Crap, crap, CRAP_! It was just a _damn_ kiss, that's all! Why can't I get it _out_ of my mind? _(Laughs bitterly:)_ I told Daria that Tom had a _"pattern"_ that he seemed to follow when it came to our relationship--that he tried to _control_ me at times. _(Chokes back tears while trying to get out her words:)_ Well, it now seems that _I'm_ the one who's in a pattern. _(Darren looks confused)_ You see, I seem to be the type of girl who falls for a guy on the _first_ look. _(Snaps her fingers:)_ Just like _that_. I tried to _play_ the field to just cover my _loneliness_ until _Daria_ came into the picture. I then realized that I found a _true_ friend in your sister--she would be there for me and vice versa--I just wanted to have a _friend_, that's all. I fell for Tom at the _first_ instant--I _really_ thought it was _right_. When I saw _you_ the first time, without all that _damn_ mud on us, I did it _again. (Depressed, Jane's shoulders slump, and she looks down)_

Darren reluctantly walked up behind Jane. He hesitantly put a reassuring hand on Jane's shoulder, but she seemed to not notice him, for she kept talking.

JANE: _(While still looking away from Darren:)_ Tom and I were on the _skids_ for a while, you know? We didn't even kiss all that much in the last _two months_ or so. _(Pauses:)_ When I kissed you, I put _all_ of myself into it because I hadn't done it like _that_ for awhile--_(becomes sarcastic:)_ that and the fact that you saved my _life_ kind of _contributed_ to it, too! _(Turns to him, a slight **tear** coming down her cheek:)_ I was so damn _selfish_ to kiss you in that manner! What would've happened if your girlfriend--_fiancee_, was _alive_? _How_ would've she _reacted_? I could've maybe _pecked_ you on the _cheek_ when Rocco wanted to fight you! But noooo--I _wanted_ to kiss you like that!

DARREN:_(In a completely calm manner:)_ Jane, when you kissed me, it--well, kind of brought back memories of _Stephanie_--but I also know that Stephanie is _gone_. So what I'm saying is, is that the kiss I felt came from--_you_, and you only--_not_ Stephanie. _(Jane looks at him, deep in thought, and Darren chuckles quietly:)_ I had the _same_ feelings that you did concerning _Tom_--I mean, how would _he_ react to it? _(Jane's about to say something, but Darren gently holds up his finger to cut her off:)_ Let _me_ finish, now. I know _now_ that the relationship you two shared is _over_ following your conversation last night, and while it's true that I didn't see what you did coming, I _allowed_ you to _continue_ the kiss--I didn't--I didn't _push_ you away. _(Pauses, sighs:)_ Truth is, I guess I _wanted_ you to do it for my own _selfish_ reasons, too. _(Looks down at Jane after a moment:)_ You say that you're _attracted_ to me, right?

JANE: _(After a moment, wipes her eye:)_ Yeah, I did--_so_?

DARREN: Are you _afraid_ that the _same_ thing might happen if you and I get--well--_involved_--you know, falling for a guy on the _"first"_ look?

JANE: _(Shrugs:)_ Maybe--maybe not. _(Hesitates:)_ Are you--well--are you saying that you _want_ to get involved with me? _(Darren frowns slightly, thinks:)_ What about _Daria_ and the other members of the Morgendorffer clan? How will _they_ react? _(Pauses, carefully chooses her next words to speak:)_ Are--are you attracted to _me_, Darren?

Darren paused for a moment, then gave a weak smile.

DARREN: _Yes_, I am, Jane. _(Jane's mouth slightly opens--she's **heard** it with her own two ears, silently **delighted**)_ I don't know what Daria and the other members of my birth family might say, but it's _my_ life, and _not_ their's. _(Pauses:)_ What--what do we do _now_?

Jane stared up at Darren, and gave a _wicked_ smirk. Darren's eyes grew slightly wide, and he suddenly knew the answer as soon as he had asked it. She put her arms around his neck, and pulled him down to her, and started to _kiss_ him. Darren at first reluctantly put his arms around Jane's lower back, then held her tighter, and _returned_ the kiss. This time, there was _no_ reluctance--no, none at _all_.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 - Equal and Opposite Reactions

_(The Morgendorffer's residence, about 15 minutes later)_

Darren came up the the front door, full of _anxiety_. What would he say _now_? How would his birth family _react_ to his disclosure that he _liked_ Jane, and she _him_? He visualized the anticipated reactions--a _stunned_ Helen and Jake asking questions, like, _"Why Jane? Doesn't she like **Tom**?" Quinn_--Darren could only imagine her _anger_ and _disgust_--something like, _"EWWWW--how could you like a **loser** like Jane?"_, or, _"How could you do **this** to **me**?"_, or, _"Now I can **never** show my face in the Fashion Club again!"_ He chuckled quietly at _that_ thought.

Then there was _Daria_--Darren had told her that he couldn't _possibly_ do anything with Jane--she was Daria's best friend, the same for Jane saying Darren was Daria's brother. _What a classic case of **self-denial**, old boy_. What would _she_ say about him and Jane seeing each other? Darren sighed--this was _not_ going to go well no matter _how_ he put it to the Morgendorffers. At least there was one _good_ thing about all of this--Darren telling his birth family about Jane would be a good _test case_ for seeing their _"reactions"_ prior to his telling them later that his last name isn't _"Coverton"_, but _"Appleton"_. Of course, he couldn't _do_ that until this "Sanchez" character was caught and could point out _who_ hired him to murder Darren's adopted parents--telling anyone else could _drag_ then into this, and possibly put them in _danger_. He narrowed his eyes, deep in thought, as something _else_ entered his mind--how would _Jane_ react to his saying he was an Appleton? He suspected that she would be more _forgiving_, knowing _why_ he had hid saying anything--of course, he couldn't be _too_ sure. For all Darren knew, Jane could _side_ with Daria, and--_stop thinking, Darren--get in there and **tell** them about this **sudden** thing that's occurred between you and Jane_. He rang the doorbell and took a deep breath.

The door opened, and Daria stood there while holding her pen and pad under her arm, a cup of coffee in her other hand, showing her usual expressionless look, and still dressed in her nightclothes. She stood aside and let Darren by, then followed him into the living room. Darren looked uncomfortably at her--something Daria caught _onto_ almost immediately. She cocked an eyebrow at him, curious.

DARREN: _(Sounding uneasy:)_ Thanks for letting me in, sis. _(Looks around:)_ It's a little after _noon--(chuckles:)_ anyone other than _Quinn_ up yet?

DARIA: No problem. Everybody's still in _hibernation_ as far I can tell--you got in just in time right after the _"noon"_ curfew. _(Pauses:)_ So, what's up, bro? _(Smirks:)_ You look like you've done something _wrong_ that you feel kind of _guilty_ about--there may be _hope_ for you yet. _(Darren gives a lopsided smile at Daria)_

DARREN: _(Sighs:)_ I guess you can kind of say that I _am_ feeling guilty, Daria--_(pauses:)_ I just hope you can _understand_ what I'm about to tell you, because I guess I'm _still_ trying to understand it myself.

DARIA: Ah, now you've gotten me _intrigued--(pauses:) hold it_--you just came from _Jane's_. Does your feeling _"guilty"_ have _something_ to do with _her_? _(Darren gives a slow nod, and Daria sighs:)_ Hey, don't tell me that after your talk with her you're _still_ feeling like that kiss was _your_ fault. I kind of thought from your call to me this morning that you two were _past_ that.

DARREN: _(Looks for words:)_ Well--uh, Daria--Jane and I--_didn't_ get past the kissing incident. _(Daria raises her eyebrows in surprise:)_ In fact, _(chuckles uneasily:)_ we kind of--well--uh--_(voice gets very low, looks away, talks quickly:)_ did some _more_ of it.

Daria looked _stunned_--or as stunned as Daria could get if one could tell. Did she _just_ hear her brother say--_nah_--she must have _misheard_ him, that's it--_got_ to be.

DARIA: _(Slight smirk:)_ Hmm--you _almost_ had me there, bro. _(Darren frowns slightly at Daria, perplexed)_ For a second there, I thought I heard you say that you and Jane kissed _again_. Nice _joke_.

DARREN: _(Now looking and sounding completely sincere, totally serious:)_ Daria--I'm _quite_ serious. Jane and I, well, _did_ kiss each other _again_, and we're kind of--_attracted_ to one another. There, I _said_ it. _(Daria's eyes light up)_

Daria was about to say something when there was a collective _gasp_ from behind them the very next instant, and Daria and Darren turned around. At the foot of the stairs in their nightclothes, _Helen, Jake,_ and _Quinn_ looked at both of them, _completely wide-eyed_, with their mouths _agape_, and were _flabbergasted_.

_(Scene changes to the Appleton Towers, the same time, in William Appleton's office)_

Called in for a "special" Sunday meeting, _Constance Waters_ stood in the middle of William's office with her arms crossed, her face a mask of _fury_. William Appleton, who was sitting behind his desk, leaned back in his chair with his hands in a prayer-like position up to his chin, looking at her calmly. On his right side, Benny was giving her a neutral look. On William's left side was a nervous-looking Sam Norwood.

CONSTANCE: _(Frowns:)_ What in the _hell_ do you mean, _"You're needed in Japan?"_ I thought we were going to get someone _else_ to head our operations concerning our share of Tsunama/Fuju!

WILLIAM: _(Cocks a **menacing** eyebrow for a second, then faux smiles:)_ Now, calm down, Constance--after careful consideration on my part, and since you're the one who _spearheaded_ this fabulous deal, I thought you'd _jump_ at the chance to to go there! After all, no one _else_ is available--

CONSTANCE: _(Widens her eyes in disbelief, cuts him off:)_ --What do you _mean, "No one else is available"_? How about _(counts on her fingers:) Wild? Forman? Berry? Hass? Bronstein? That Bob what's-his-name? Neilson?_ Don't you _dare_ tell me that _Long_ or _Takis_ is unavailable--and I know for a _fact_ that either _Kilner_ or _Fox_, or even _Marley_, and that--that--_"paperpusher", Rich_--

WILLIAM:_ (Now cuts her off, rises out of his seat, glares:) --Enough_, Constance! If you _can't_ do the _job_--

CONSTANCE: _(Narrows her eyes and clenches her teeth, **slams** her hand on the desk, which causes everyone but William to jump:)_ --Oh, _no_ you don't--that _"job"_ line _won't_ work _here_! I did my _"job"_ with selling the nuclear plants, and then went _way_ beyond _that_ with Tsumana/Fuju! I've gotten entirely too much work _here_ to simply drop and go over to Japan to oversee those operations! _(Pauses, realizes:)_ You've become _brazen_ in trying to get _rid_ of me, even if you know that the Board might _do_ something if you try, haven't you, William? I heard through the _grapevine_ that I represent something of a _"threat"_ to your Chairmanship like _Potter_ did--only _worse--(sneers:) right_?

William's eyes grew _extremely_ big, clenched _his_ teeth, and he gave a glare that could've _obliterated_ a _planet_ to Constance, who suddenly had the feeling that she had just said the _wrongest possible thing_. Both Benny and Sam cut their eyes at William, privately _terrified_. The tension in the air became almost _unbearable_ for a moment, then William spoke while slowly leaning on his desk by his hands, still standing, and pointedly looking at Constance, smirking _wickedly_.

WILLIAM: _(In a dark tone:)_ Think what you _want_, Constance--it makes no _damn_ difference to me one way or the other. The fact of the matter is, is that _I'm_ the Chairman, and I'm in a _good_ position to present my reasons to send you to Japan to the Board, and you _don't_. Go to the _Board_. Go to our _shareholders_. You have the _right_ to do whatever you think is best. _(Pauses, then his voice takes on an even **darker** tone, now with no expression on his face:)_ But make _no_ mistake, my dear--if you _"think"_ that you can take _my_ position, then I'd suggest that that is _all_ you _can_ do about it--_"think"_. Do not _delude_ yourself as to assume that _I'll_ go _"gentle into that good night"_, because if you _ever_ do, that will be your _first_--if not your _last_ mistake--_count_ on it.

Constance looked at William, stunned. Did he just _threaten_ to--? She glanced at Benny Lodell, who simply kept a _poker_ face while looking at her, and at Sam Norwood, who was sneaking a peek at the _ceiling_ nervously. She thought carefully for a second before she spoke her next words, not entirely sure if William actually _was_ serious.

CONSTANCE: _(Keeping up a brave front:)_ I-I _never_ said that I _wanted_ the Chairmanship that you have, William--there's no need for _threats_ from you--

WILLIAM: _(Cuts her off, slightly lessening his dark tone, still with the expressionless face:)_ --Or _you_, Constance. We're a _team_ here, and if you're not with the _program_, then you're in the _way. (Narrows his eyes:) Are_ you going to help or _hinder_ us by _challenging_ my authority? _I_ am your _superior_, and you are my _subordinate. (Pauses:)_ The choice is _yours_.

Constance _swallowed_ the rage she felt, and decided that the _professional_ thing to do was to wait for William to dig his _own_ grave--something she figured that _Leonard Potter_ was waiting for William to do while in Los Angeles. She guessed that she _could_ win this dispute if she brought it up _before_ the Board of Directors, but it could be a _costly_ one, for a _strong_ possibility existed that there would then be a _split_ within the ranks (Constance had _much_ support in the conglomerate and on the Board--_almost_ as much as William himself, thanks to Tsunama/Fuju), and it was possible that lingering _bitterness_ could erupt from any possible _infighting_ that could occur, thus possibly _hurting_ the company--and _morale_ as well, not to mention the _negative_ publicity that could do _damage_ to the conclomerate concerning the stock market, and its shareholders. She suspected that William _knew_ this--that she _was_ a team player, and would not upset the goal in mind. _**Shrewd** move, William, appealing to my sense of **teamwork** like that--you win--for **now**_.

CONSTANCE: _(After pondering, sighs, speaks in a low, resigned tone:)_ Very well, William--I'll pack, and _leave_ as soon as possible.

WILLIAM: _(Grins, triumphant:) Excellent_, Constance--you have _two_ days to pack. I'll contact _Brault_ and _Williams_ to share in the workload in taking care of your energy position, and I'll get _Grenier_ and _Morgan_ to fill in _their_ positions. _(Walks around the desk still grinning, puts his arm around Constance's shoulder, something that momentarily **frightens** her for some reason, and leads her to the door:)_ Call me when you're packed, and we'll go over the final paperwork with _Yee_ and _Daoren_ when you leave, okay? _(Pauses, gently but firmly turns Constance to face him, looks down at her directly in the eyes, smirks coldly:)_ Now, I'm going to _assume_ that if anyone asks about _why_ you're going to move to Japan, that you'll tell them you decided of your own _volition_ to go and _personally_ oversee our operations in Tsumana/Fuju--no need to let everyone _think_ that you're going over there because I _"pressured"_ you to, right?

CONSTANCE: _(After giving a quick, unreadable glare at William, in a curt response:) No_, of course not, William. If anyone asks, I'll tell them that I'm going because the company--_(hesitates:) needs_ me over there.

WILLIAM: _(Gives a cold grin, squeezes Constance's shoulder:) Spendid_! _(Opens door:)_ Goodbye, my dear--_enjoy_ your trip!

CONSTANCE: _(While walking out, in a cold tone:) William. (William shuts the door behind her)_

William went back to his desk and sat down expressionessly. Sam Norwood had formed a big _grin_ on his face, astounded, and spoke.

NORWOOD: Boss, that was--was--_incredible_! You sure put that Waters _witch_ in her _place_, and--

WILLIAM: _(Cuts him off, frowns:)_ --Have you found any legal _loopholes_ that will give me the Chairmanship of Appleton Industries free and clear as of _yet_, Sam?

NORWOOD: _(Now looks foolish, stutters:)_ W-well, uh, I'm _s-still_ looking, Boss. I haven't f-found anything yet, but--

WILLIAM: _(Now snarls:) --THEN DON'T YOU THINK YOU OUGHT TO KEEP LOOKING UNTIL YOU **DO**, YOU NITWIT_?! _(Norwood **cowers**, and rushes out of the office, slams the door behind him in his haste)_

Benny _gulped_ as William turned slowly to him.

WILLIAM: _(Narrows his eyes:)_ Is everything set with the _Woo_ situation, Benny?

BENNY: _(Fights back his nervousness:)_ Y-yeah, Boss--our man told me yesterday that he _sucessfully_ planted that _super-sensitive_ bug in the reception area of Woo's office. He's reported that _no_ one has come in this morning, and that Woo and the people that work for him probably won't until tomorrow. He has a _monitoring system_ in his car, and is currently _right_ outside of Woo's office, _(pauses, looks terrified when William glares at him:)_ I-I _mean_, on the _next_ street over, Boss--listening in.

WILLIAM: _(Now looks off into space:)_ Tell him to stay _all_ day today, Benny--I want to keep a _constant_ watch on him and his men--no need to take _any_ chances that someone might come in and we _miss_ anything, eh? _(Benny nods)_ Good. _(Rocks back and forth in his chair:)_ Now, we've got to locate _Sanchez_--_(cocks an eyebrow:)_ anything on _that_ yet, Benny?

BENNY: Nothing yet, Boss--it's almost as if he's _vanished_ into thin air, or something. After he had called me about the second part of the payment pending the results of the NTSB findings, I thought for _sure_ he'd call back by now. _(Pauses:)_ I guess he's not taking any chances on someone connecting _him_ to the crash, eh, Boss?

WILLIAM: As he damn well better _not_ do, Benny--still, best not take _anything_ for granted. The _next_ time he calls, I want to know immediately _where_ he is. That way, we can keep an _eye_ on him in case he tries something _funny_.

BENNY: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ You _really_ think Sanchez could _double-cross_ us, Boss? I mean, wouldn't _he_ be in as much trouble as _we'd_ be if he were caught?

WILLIAM: _(Sighs--gives a **"Benny's not getting it again"** look:)_ Benny, if for _some_ reason Sanchez is somehow or another discovered by the police to have a hand in what happened to my dear brother and sister-in-law, he could turn _state's evidence_ against us, and make a deal with the district attorney, getting some sort of immunity agreement, or getting little time in jail, and putting _our_ fat in the fire. Also, remember that Sanchez was arrested for _extortion--(glares at Benny as if he wants to say something else, but decides not to:)_ as one of his many--_violations_. He could try and extort _more_ money from us--_(narrows his eyes:)_ not that he'd _ever_ even _dare_ try to do something as _stupid_ as that--I just want to make _sure_ that he's under _wraps. (Grins wickedly:)_ Of course, we might have to get _rid_ of him _anyway_ if he becomes a--_problem. (Looks out of the window)_

BENNY: Boss, with Constance gone for awhile, wouldn't that just leave--

WILLIAM: _(While still looking out:) --Outside_ of finding Sanchez, my _"nephew"_ to possibly stand in my way? Here is where Sam Norwood had _better_ find something to get Darren _out_ of the way, legally if possible--if not, I'm going to have to--_force_ the issue with my _"so-called"_ nephew, _especially_ if he's involved in trying to discover if _I_ was the one who ordered his _"parents"_ deaths. _(Cuts his eyes over to Benny:)_ Is that man that I wanted on _standby_ to spy on Darren ready to go at a moment's notice?

BENNY: Yeah, Boss--just give the _word_, and he'll go _immediately_ to this _"Lawndale"_ place.

WILLIAM: _(Resumes looking out over the city:)_ Good--still, I don't want him to just sit around and _twiddle_ his thumbs while we waste money on paying him--tell him to get some _information_ on these Morgend_weefers_, you know, just call someone--

BENNY: _(Releuctantly interrupts William:)_ --Er, Boss--I--think its Morgend_OFFERS_--

WILLIAM: _(Casts a quick, **vicious** glare at a now-slightly cowering Benny, talks through clenched teeth:) --Morgendorffers_, Benny--_(resumes his normal voice:)_ like where they _work_ and _live_ in this _"Lawndale"_ place. We know that Darren's birth mother is a _lawyer_, and his birth father is a _marketing consultant_, or something. _(Pauses:)_ See if our man can find out anything on Darren's _sisters_ as well--we might need them _all_ as some sort of--_"insurance"_ in dealing with my _"nephew"._

BENNY: Okay, Boss. _(Leaves the office)_

_(Scene is back at the Morgendorffers, the same time)_

Darren had just told everyone of Jane's kiss in the Zen, (After all, he couldn't deny it _now_, could he?) and why she had done it, and the events of the morning that led up to both he and Jane kissing each other _again_. (Including finally, the death of his fiancee, Stephanie Reardon.) After the initial shock and expressions of condolences from Helen, Jake, and Quinn over Stephanie, (Daria had wisely said _nothing_ about Darren telling her earlier, so as not to give the others the impression that Darren had _"favored"_ Daria over them by confining his secret pain to her first) Darren's guesses about what would happen when Helen, Jake, and Quinn found out about Jane were _largely_ true, as Helen was pacing back and forth in the living room _along_ with an equally-worried Quinn, and Jake standing off to the side with a _nervous_ look on his face, more than likely because of Jake's _fears_ over how Helen would react. Daria had sat down beside Darren on the middle couch while all of this was going on, and simply watched her mother and sister with her usual _"expressionless expression"_, and had not said a word--Darren couldn't tell from Daria's reaction about his liking Jane--as _if_. He then watched his birth mother and sister with an _intrigued_ expression as they paced. Helen, (as well as Quinn) had stopped, and looked at Darren with an expression of disbelief, then spoke.

HELEN: Darren--_(hesitates:)_ are you _sure_ about Jane? (_Daria_, not Darren, cocks an eyebrow as if asking, _"What's the matter with Jane?"_) I mean, I--_(looks at Jake:)_ that is _we_ know that she's a _good_ girl, but how do you know that this isn't just a--_(looks for words:) physical_ attraction between the two of you? _(Darren sighs)_

DARREN: To be honest with you, speaking for myself, _(pauses:)_ I really don't know _what_ it is--and don't _all_ relationships _start_ with a physical attraction? Didn't you two _(motions to Helen and Jake:)_ first become attracted to each other physically? _(Helen and Jake look at each other, blushing for a moment)_ I just think that Jane is _good_ people, that's all. Yes, I know she _was_ with Tom, but from what she told me, their relationship was basically _over_ for _awhile_.

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes:) Daaaarren! Believe_ me when I say that if a girl _drops_ a guy and picks up _another_ one right after, _(snaps her fingers:)_ just like _that_, it goes _up in smoke_--pure and simple!

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ And _you_ ought to know about that _"up in smoke"_ type of relationship, shouldn't you, Quinn? You do it _all_ the time, right? _(Quinn gives Daria the glare to end all glares)_ Oh--that's right--make that _"did"_--you can't right now because of the "Big Bro" _factor_ around here after the word got out about your _"admirers"_ getting their _asses_ kicked by Darren. _(Sneers:)_ You just can't stay in _"practice"_ at the moment, can you?

QUINN: _(Points at Daria:)_ Hey! It's not _my_ fault that you didn't _tell_ Jane that Darren _knew_ martial arts! _(Daria glares at Quinn's comeback, while Darren looks up and sighs)_

HELEN: _(Narrows her eyes:)_ Daria, Quinn, that's enough! Darren, _all_ I'm saying is, well, are you sure that Jane doesn't _remind_ you in some way of--well--

DARREN: _(Gives a slight frown, cuts Helen off, stands up:) --Stephanie_? Is _that_ what you were going to say? Look, let's get something _straight_--I _have_ to get on with my life--I've been in _mourning_ for about two months. If you all think that I'm attracted to Jane as some sort of--_"remedy"_ to get _over_ Stephanie--

HELEN: _(Rushes forward, gently puts her hands on Darren's chest:)_ --No, no, that's _not_ it, son--of _course_ you should get on with your life! We're just--_concerned_ over your--_"sudden"_ interest in her, that's all! _(Looks over at Jake, who has sat down on the right couch and is reading the Sunday paper:) JAKE_! Put down that _damn_ paper and get up and come the _hell_ over here and _help_ me!

Jake threw the paper aside, jumped up, and came over to Helen and Darren.

JAKE: Uh, well--_(looks over at a glaring Helen:)_ maybe, well--maybe Darren's _right_, dear. _(Adds hastily before a shocked Helen can say something:)_ You know, he and Jane are _grown, responsible, mature_ young adults. I mean, if they want to get together, then, well, that's _their_ business, ya know? _(Pauses, looks confused for a moment:)_ Is that _right_, Helen?

DARREN: _(Smiles at Jake:)_ Hey, thanks for your support. _(Daria smirks, for she knows what is going to happen next)_

Helen gasped in shock and anger, her eyes grew as big as _silver dollars_, clenched her teeth, and she grabbed the cup of the half-filled, now-cold coffee that Daria had put on the (named appropiately enough) coffee table, and promptly _poured_ it over Jake's head. Helen then stormed upstairs. Quinn glared at Darren for a moment, shook her head in disgust, then followed Helen upstairs. Darren watched them both go, stunned.

DARREN: _(Looks between the soaked Jake and Daria, lost:)_ I didn't--I mean--that is--did she--

DARIA: _(Sighs:) Relax_, bro--mom gets like that _sometimes. (Darren's eyes and mouth grow even **wider** from shock)_ I remember that something like that happened _before_--she'll calm down and apologize later. _(Looks over at Jake, who looks down, embarassed:)_ C'mon, Dad--lets go in the kitchen and get you cleaned up. _(Pulls Jake into the kitchen, followed by Darren)_

_(Note to reader: Helen got like that with Jake in the episode "Arts 'N Crass" with the "penne a la pasto", remember?)_

_(Scene shifts to the Lane's at the same time)_

Jane sat on her bed in her room, having showered and changed into her regular clothes, and now was talking with a _fully-awake_ Trent (unbelievable as _that_ was), who was sitting beside her. She had told him about her conversation with Tom the previous night, and the one earlier this morning with Darren--culminating with their _second_ kiss in the Lane's living room. Trent took in every word, at first surprised, then pondered for a moment, and spoke.

TRENT: Whoa, Janey--what did _mom_ say about this when you told her?

JANE: _(Sighs, rolls her eyes:)_ While she was _rushing_ out of the door to that damn _"Art In Pottery"_ show? _(Pauses, frowns to herself, surprised:)_ Hell, I can't _believe_ that I just used the word _"damn"_ with _"art". (Shakes her head slowly while shutting her eyes:)_ Geez, this whole situation must be _affecting_ me more than I thought. Anyway, she said in her own soothing voice: _(imitating her mom:) "Whatever calms your inner soul, Jane"_, then she _blew_ outta here like a bat outta hell. _(Looks uneasily at Trent after a moment:) Never_ mind about mom--what do _you_ think about all of this, Trent?

TRENT: _(Shrugs:)_ Hey, it's _cool_, Janey--I liked Tom, and still do, but Darren's okay, too. I'm not exactly an _"expert"_ when it comes to relationships--

JANE: _(Smirks, thought v.o.: **Tell** me about it, Mr.**"Get-with-Monique-one-week-then-dump-one-another-the-next-week"** Lane.)_

TRENT: --but I think if you _really_ like Darren, and he you, then _go_ for it. _(Pauses:)_ Do you know how _Daria's_ gonna _react_ to you liking her brother?

JANE: _(Frowns slightly at **that** thought:)_ I dunno--Darren said that he'd tell Daria and her family when he left here this morning. I'm waiting a little while before I go over there myself to face the _music--(smirks:)_ no pun intended, bro. _(Trent smirks back, then Jane adds after a moment:)_ I wanted to go _with_ him, but he _insisted_ that he wanted to _prepare_ them for me--it doesn't seem right for him to take his family's _grief_ for me--God _knows_ he did _more_ than enough for me over that sinkhole. _(Looks down, depressed, and Trent puts a reassuring hand on Jane's shoulder)_

TRENT: C'mon, Janey--_(arches an eyebrow:)_ you don't think Daria's gonna be _upset_ or something, do you? She's your _best_ friend.

JANE: _(Cuts her eyes to Trent:)_ Trent, I'm _not_ worried too much about _Daria_--it's her _family_ that has me nervous. _(Snorts:)_ I can see _Quinn_ now, worrying about her _"reputation"_ being _"ruined"_ by me seeing her brother, or _Helen_ just _screaming_ about how I might be a _"bad"_ influence on her son, or something. As for _Jake_--well, I can only say he'd probably go _with_ what Helen says--I hate to say it, but the man has _little_ backbone in standing up to her, bless his _weak_ little heart--_(thinks about Jake's minor heart attack that he had:)_ oops, _wrong_ choice of words, there--sorry.

TRENT: _(Sighs, then:)_ Janey, I think you're being too _hard_ on Mr. and Mrs. M--_(narrows his eyes:)_ though I can see _"Daria's Sister"_ being PO'd, but she _doesn't_ count, at least to _me_. Even if they _do_ have some reservations about your seeing Darren, they really _can't_ stop you two from doing so, you know? I mean, you guys _are_ grown up and all. Also, you gotta remember he's getting to _know_ his birth family--do you really think that they'd want to push him _away_ now by giving _you_ a _hard_ time? _(Shakes his head slowly:)_ I don't think so.

JANE: _(Smiles weakly, shrugs:)_ Yeah, I guess you're right, bro, but still, I don't wanna get too much on their _bad_ side because I'd like for us to all get along, if you know what I mean, which is why I'm working on a _painting_ for them that I hope will kind of get into their good graces. _(Pauses, then reaches over and hugs her brother:)_ Thanks, Trent--for being there for me--and well--for _everything_.

TRENT: _(After hugging his sister, releases her, smiles:)_ Hey, I'll _always_ be here for you, little sister--you know that. _(Stands up with Jane:)_ Well, I'm gonna take the "new" Tank back to Nick, and he's gonna take me to get my car out of the shop.

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ So, the 'ol blue Plymouth is up and runnin', eh?

TRENT: Yeah. We're gonna go to _McGrundy's_ and practice for our gig there for the first time since we "recovered" for this Friday's show. _(Pauses:)_ Hey, why don't you invite Darren to come with Daria there?

JANE: _(Shrugs:)_ Good idea, bro--I'll ask him and Daria.

TRENT: _(Goes to the doorway, then stops before he leaves, eyebrow cocked:)_ You _sure_ you're gonna be okay, Janey?

JANE: _(Gives a quiet smile:)_ I'll be fine, Trent. I'll wait about a few hours, then I'll head over to the Morgendorffer's to await _(in a self-mocking dark tone and glare, suddenly standing rigid, like a soldier at attention:) "My day of judgement". (Trent smirks, then leaves, and then Jane drops her playful look, sighs, and goes to her set-up easel, and begins to paint furiously with an **intense** look on her face)_

_(Back to the Morgendorffer's, about an hour-and-a-half later)_

Daria, now dressed in her regular ensemble, was typing on her computer keyboard when there was a knock on her door.

DARIA: _(Raises her voice slightly:)_ Is it _feeding_ time yet? If so, I ask you to slide my food _under_ the door--of course, you'll need a damn _saw_ to do the job--

VOICE: _(Sounding apologetic, chuckles quietly:)_ --Funny you should ask about _food_--I'd like to ask if you can watch _me_ eat some _humble pie_. May I come in, Daria?

DARIA: Sure, Darren, c'mon in. _(Darren enters, dressed in a casual white shirt and kahki pants having just showered)_

DARREN: Hey, sis--_(glances at Daria's computer monitor:)_ what're you writing?

DARIA: _(Gives a quick smirk, cuts her eyes at the monitor:)_ On this _outdated, crappy, slow-ass of a hardrive_ that downloads into _next_ week? It's a short story about a character I call _Melody Powers_. She's an American _secret agent_--remind me to tell you about it later. _(Pauses:)_ What's on your mind, bro?

DARREN: _(Thought v.o.: Note to self--make sure Daria gets Appleton's newest **top-of-the-line 700 MHz Sharpshooter PC** after all of this lunacy is over.)(Sighs:)_ I think we _both_ know what's on my mind, Daria--_Jane. (Daria cocks an eyebrow)_ You didn't say anything about it yet, so I'm--here to say that I'm _sorry_ for not being _honest_ with you about what I _really_ felt after Jane's kiss, and concerning Jane herself. At the time, I really didn't have a good _handle_ on my feelings--and neither did _Jane_. I--shouldn't have kept you in the _dark_ about that.

DARIA: _(Shrugs:)_ It's okay, Darren. I figured you'd want to talk to me about it without anybody around, and to be honest with _you_, I already _suspected_ that you two kind of liked each other _already_, so it's really _none_ of my business if you and Jane want to see one another.

DARREN: _(Ponders for a second:)_ Daria--I think, and I'm _sure_ Jane thinks as well, that, to a _certain_ extent, it _should_ be your business. _(Daria looks at her brother, curious)_ The _last_ thing either of us wants to do is have you feeling, well, _awkward_ over Jane and me having some sort of relationship--after all, she's your _best_ friend. Neither of us _planned_ to have this happen--it just, well, _did. (Frowns to himself, tries to convey his words:)_ Both of us were kind of _"caught up in a crossroad"_ of our lives--

DARIA: --And where you two ran _"smack dab"_ into each other. _(Darren thinks about what happened earlier this morning with running into Jane, and the apparent **irony** of Daria's words, smirks to himself) (Daria sighs:)_ Well, I gotta say _stranger_ things have happened. _(Pauses, talks in a serious tone:)_ Look bro--I'm probably _biased_, but if you gotta like someone, then I can say _without_ a doubt that Jane is the girl I'd _want_ for you to have. _(Darren smiles, relieved, while Daria gives a small smirk:)_ Don't _tell_ her that I said that--she'd _never_ let me live it down.

DARREN: _(Laughs:)_ No problem, sis--she won't hear it from _me. (Pauses:)_ By the way, _Helen_ came by my room and _apologized_ to me for her reaction to Jane, having told me also that she had done the same thing with _Jake_. She wants to take me out to _lunch_ Wednesday--I'm supposed to come by where she _works_ to pick her up--we'll use my rented car to go and eat, and I can meet her colleagues for the _first_ time--she said they're _eager_ to _meet_ me.

DARIA: Or maybe they'd want to _dissect_ you, and see if they can make you their _newest_ client. _(Darren snickers)_ Hmm--does her apology and subsequent eat-out mean that mom _approves_ of you and Jane?

DARREN: _(Smirks:)_ You know, I _asked_ her about that--and she _grudgingly_ said that she won't say anything _bad_ about Jane and me when Jane comes over later. _(Adds, shrugs:)_ At least Helen _promised_ she wouldn't.

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Maybe you'd better get that in _writing_--you know, with mom being a _lawyer_ and everything.

DARREN: _(Grins:)_ The thought _had_ crossed my mind. _(Starts to leave:)_ Well, I'd better talk to _Quinn_ about this--

DARIA: _(Narrows her eyes, gets a slight frown on her face:)_ --Why should you _care_ about what our _"beloved sister"_ thinks, Darren? It's not like she could do _much_ about it, save for _moaning_ and _complaining_ about how it's _"ruined her popular reputation"_.

DARREN: _(Casts an uncertain eye at Daria:)_ I know I'm _reaching_ here, sis, but I think I can _convince_ Quinn to _lay off_ of Jane--_(Daria rolls her eyes)_ no, _really_. I believe that just _talking_ to her can do the trick. Wish me luck. _(Leaves Daria's room)_

DARIA: _(Calls after Darren, smirks:)_ I wish you a whole _hell_ of a lot of luck, bro--a _wheelbarrow_ full of _rabbit's feet, horseshoes, and four-leaf clovers_ of it. _(Thought v.o.: My **poor, deluded, too nice of a big brother**--I wonder how much she'll try to **finagle** out of him for her silence on Jane? Better remind myself to ask Quinn later.) (Goes back to her computer, sits down, continues to type)_

Darren knocked on Quinn's bedroom door. Quinn, also dressed in her familiar clothing, had been reading _Waif_ magazine, was sitting on her bed, and had cut her eyes at the door, frowning.

DARREN: _(Sounding muffled:)_ Quinn? C'mon, it's Darren. Let me in--I want to talk about Jane.

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes, sneers:) Hmmph_! Why _should_ I, bro? You _like_ her, an' that's _that_! There's _nothing_ I can do about it, except _suffer_ an' stuff! You don't _care_ about _my_ feelings!

DARREN: _(Quietly:)_ Sis, let me in to just talk, okay? I'm getting kind of tired talking to a _door. (Pauses:) Please_?

Quinn gave a quick sigh, got off of her bed, opened her door, and let Darren in. She walked past him after shutting the door, and leaped back on her bed, facing Darren, lying on her stomach. Quinn rested on her elbows, and was looking directly at him, still frowning.

QUINN: Shoot--and it had _better_ be good.

Darren sat down reluctantly on the edge of Quinn's bed, and pondered his next words, quietly speaking.

DARREN: I like Jane, and she likes me, sis--it's as _simple_ as that.

QUINN: _(Makes a smacking noise with her mouth, as if in disgust:) God_, bro--of _all_ of the girls on the _planet_, why'd you pick _Jane_? _(Darren frowns at this, something Quinn picks up immediately on, then quickly adds:)_ Not that Jane is the _worse_ person you can get, by _any_ means. It's just that _fashion-wise_, I certainly think she can do a _lot_ better--but what is it _about_ her that you like? I mean, with _your_ looks, you can have _anybody_!

DARREN: _(Looks annoyed, gives a quick sigh:)_ Thanks for the _compliment_, but I thought we had gone _over_ this downstairs. I like Jane because she's an attractive, (Quinn rolls her eyes) nice, _wickedly_ funny and decent person. _(Pauses:)_ Look, I'll _admit_ that the kiss she gave me at the Zen kind of--_contributed_ to it, but it was a _small_ contribution. Isn't there _some_ way that you can be _nice_ to her when she comes over later? I'm _asking_ you as my _sister_ to do this for me, your _"Big Bro"._

QUINN: _(After a moment, suddenly gets a **scheming** look on her face:)_ Hmmmm--are you an' me _still_ gonna go to _Chez Pierre_ tonight, bro?

DARREN: _(Looks at Quinn, a bit perplexed:)_ Uh--sure, sis--if that's what you _still_ want--what does _that_ have to do with _Jane_?

QUINN: _(Sits up, scoots over to Darren, hooks her arm with his, and gets into her "charm" mode:) Weeeell_--I'm gonna need some new _clothes_ to put on for our date--_(pauses:)_ maybe if we can, like stop at _Cashman's_ an' kinda get a _few_ things for me before we go, I can be _real_ nice to Jane. _(Goes on quickly before Darren can say anything:)_ Besides, I haven't had a date with _any_ guy since you _beat up_ Joey, Jeffrey, and Jamie, and I _have_ been really _concentratin'_ an' stuff with you helping me on getting into the Fashion Institute with improving my grades--even though I feel like _(ugh) Daria_--becomin' a _"brain"_ an' everything. Don't you think you at least owe _me_ for that? _(Darren ponders this)_ After all, as the vice-president of the Fashion Club, I _gotta_ keep up with the _latest_ fashion trends an' everything. _(Suddenly gasps, realizes:) Yeah_! That's _right_! _(Darren raises an eyebrow, gives Quinn a quick, strange look:) My birthday gift_! You can just tell our parents you're getting that stuff as my _gift_! _(Pauses, as Darren now frowns at Quinn, perplexed:)_ Don't you remember when you an' I _first_ met, bro?

DARREN: _(Thinks for a moment:)_ Yes--yes, I do, Quinn--you thought I worked at _Cashman's_ and had met our parents at the mall to get a _"gift"_ they wanted for you. What does _that_ have to do with--

QUINN: _(Cuts Darren off excitedly:)_ --Don't you _see_, bro--? _(Darren gives a quick shake of his head, still comprehending:)_ You and I can just say you were getting my _birthday_ gift from _Cashman's_, you know, just in case our parents ask _where_ I got my stuff from. _(Smiles, looks in space:)_ It's _perfect_--they _can't_ take it _away_ from me because of _that_! _Mom_ won't go _after_ me if _you_ tell her!

DARREN: _(Looks at Quinn expressionlessly:)_ Let me get this _straight_--you want me to _bribe_ you into liking Jane by buying you some clothes at _Cashman's_, and then say to our parents that the clothes are your _birthday gift_ so they won't be able to take your clothes away if they find out, thinking that you took _advantage_ of me?

QUINN: _(Nods and shrugs:)_ It's like when I _thought_ Daria had taken advantage of you, you know, _blackmailing_ you when you sided with _her_ an' told the Fashion Club I was _your_ cousin? _(Quickly adds:)_ Not that I'm holding that _against_ you, bro--it's _history_, really. Besides, everything's _legal_ an' on the level--it _will_ be my birthday next month. _(Pauses, smirks:)_ So, what do you _think_, bro--do we have a _deal_?

Darren stared at Quinn for a second, then sighed, _resigned_ to his fate. He chuckled to himself--his youngest sister's business _acumen_ was nothing short of _remarkable_--she had accounted for virtually _every_ contingency--or so it _seemed_. In that aspect, he had to _admire_ Quinn for her _doggedness_ and _"business negotiation"_--he wondered half-seriously if she actually _could_ fit in well at Appleton's fashion division, Circa. He also supposed that if he was going to get Daria a new _computer_, then Quinn should get _something_ as well--even if it _was_ for keeping the _peace_ with Jane.

DARREN: Okay, Quinn--it's a _deal_. If our parents ask, I'll tell them I did it for your _birthday. (Thought v.o.: Although I'm sure Daria **won't** believe that--and I guess I can't blame her. She and Jane are **right**--I **am** too nice.)_

QUINN: _(Squeals with delight, hugs and kisses her brother on the cheek:)_ Thanks, bro! _(Gets off bed, narrows her eyes, begins to pace:)_ Let's see, now--our reservations at _Chez Pierre_ are for 7:00, and it's almost _2:30_ now, and that gives us, like, four-and-a-half hours--_(pauses, looks at Darren:)_ when's Jane comin' over, bro?

DARREN: I'm not sure--she said she'd be over in a while--why?

QUINN: Well, we _don't_ have too much time for us to go to _Cashman's_ and look. _(Darren looks puzzled)_ I _need_ to know what I'm gonna get, bro--one can't be _too_ careful when it comes to fashion--it takes _time_! Can't you just _call_ Jane and ask her to come here _now_ if she's not busy with her little _"art-stuff"_? _(Darren rolls his eyes)_ I mean, she's gonna have to talk to Daria about you _anyway_, so see if she can come as soon as possible, okay? The sooner we can leave, the sooner we can be ready to go to _Chez Pierre_!

DARREN: _(Smiles, talks in a good-humoured tone, puts up his hands:)_ Okay, okay! I'll call and see if she can come. _(Gets up)_

QUINN: Oh, yeah--there's something _else_ I wanted to ask you before you call Jane, bro. It's really nothing, but--um, yesterday morning I kind--of--well, heard mom and dad say that you call them by their _first_ names. _(Darren cocks an eyebrow)_ What's the deal with _that_?

DARREN: _(Gives a quick chuckle:)_ Ah, and I suppose you were _with_ Daria when you heard them say that? She didn't tell me when she asked me about it last night.

QUINN: _(At first surprised, then becomes red-faced, looks away:)_ She _did_? Well, I wasn't _exactly_ with her when she heard mom and dad say that. I heard her come by my door, and I got up to see what was goin' on, and uh--

DARREN: _(Raises an eyebrow:)_ --You _saw_ Daria listening to our parents talk? _(Grins when Quinn nods:)_ Like I told Daria, I just couldn't call them _"Mom" and "Dad"_ right out like that--_(his voice goes low:)_ you know, because it would be like _not_ respecting my deceased (adopted) parents, and all they've done for me. _(Pauses, slightly alarmed for some reason, gives Quinn an uncertain look:)_ You're not thinking of calling them by their _first_ names because you heard that _I_ did, right? I mean, I only did that when I knew you and Daria _weren't_ around to hear.

Quinn giggled, waving Darren off.

QUINN: C'mon, bro--you just gave me a good reason _not_ to an' stuff. I can understand that that wouldn't have been fair to your (adopted) parents. Don't worry--I'll _still_ call them _"Mom" an' "Dad"--(adds as an afterthought, shrugs:)_ besides, I call them _"Helen" and "Jake"_ sometimes when they're _not_ around to my _friends_.

DARREN: _(Looks at Quinn with an arched eyebrow, thinking Daria had said the **same** thing last night:)_ Well, uh, all right--I'll go and call Jane.

QUINN: _(In her singy-songy voice, smiles:)_ Okay, Darren. _(Darren leaves, while Quinn makes room in her closet for her new clothes)_

_(Scene is back at the Lane's)_

Jane looked over her newest masterpiece on her easel, with paint-covered hands on her hips, and a prideful smirk on her speckled paint-covered face. She had finished it in _personal_ record time--it was going to be a _surprise_ for the Morgendorffers. After spraying it with a clear, protective coating, Jane covered the painting (making sure it was dry) with a white bedsheet and wrapped it up carefully. She was completing the wrapping, when the cell phone in her room rang. Jane grabbed a paint-stained damp towel hanging on her bedroom chair and wiped her hands, then answered her cell phone on the third ring.

JANE: Yo!

VOICE: Hey, Jane--did I call at a _bad_ time?

JANE: _(Smiles:) Darren_? Hey! Nah--you called at a good time--I had just finished, um--some _art. (Pauses:)_ Uh--did everything go well when you got back to the Morgendorffers?

DARREN: It's okay, Jane--_(chuckles:)_ the coast is _clear_. Daria said that it was fine with her about us, so relax. _Jake_ even said it was _okay_ with him. Helen and _(pauses:) Quinn_ eventually accepted it, so you can come over with _no_ reservations--and as I told you this morning over breakfast, Quinn and I are planning to go to _Chez Pierre_ tonight, _(sighs:)_ so, _if_ you can, do you think it's possible for you to come over as soon as you deem it fit to do so? Quinn asked me if you could so she could get ready for the "date" she and I are having.

JANE: _(Snorts:)_ Well, we couldn't keep _Quinn_ waiting, could we? _(She then sighs, relieved, though she still thought she heard some sort of **reservation** in Darren's voice about Quinn's okay, playfully swings her fist:)_ Sure! Lemme get cleaned up real quick, and I'll be on my way.

DARREN: Okay--_(pauses:)_ do you--well, need for me to come and pick you _up_, or something?

JANE: _(Smirks, in a semi-mockingly playful tone:) Awww_--isn't that _sweet_. Ah, I can _use_ the walk--it isn't _that_ far. _(Thought v.o.: That and not letting you see my surprise **gift** to you and your family, Darren.)_ Gimme about 20 minutes, and I'll be there.

DARREN: Okay, see you then, Jane. _(Hangs up)_

Darren clicked off his cell phone, went to Quinn's room to tell her Jane was on her way, then came back to his room. He then went through his clothes bag hanging in the closet, looking for something appropiate to wear to this _Chez Pierre_ tonight--according to Quinn, it was _"a really fancy"_ French restaurant, so he decided to wear a black dress jacket and matching pants, his best suit, as well as the _most_ expensive one he had--the other clothes he had were basically "regular" clothing. He certainly could have brought _many_ expensive clothes made by Circa Fashions with him, but he would have possibly garnered _questions_ by the Morgendorffers over how he could _afford_ such clothing, and most definitely the vast majority of them would have come from _Quinn_. Darren felt that for sure Quinn had the _potential_ for being a very good fashion designer, (she decided after a good _cry_ that modeling was _not_ the way to go after Darren told her of the chances of succeeding in the modeling industry, even _with_ his help) the same for Daria being a very good writer, and Jane succeeding in her field of art. As he zipped open the side pocket of the bag, something _fell_ out onto the carpeted floor. It caught his eye, and he turned _pale_ for a moment. _How did **that** get in there?_

_"That"_ was a picture of him and Stephanie Reardon. He bent over and picked it up, and stared at it intently for a moment. He remembered when it was taken--about six months ago while at Eastward College, just outside calculus class by Curtis, and Darren had his arm around her waist, holding her close. Stephanie was grinning at the camera with her pearly-white teeth showing and her thick, black hair was in its regular ponytail style, with the ponytail part lying on her right shoulder, similiar to a female Native American hairstyle. Stephanie's small, round, face, and dark brown eyes were full of joy. She wore a red sweater with the Eastward reed and book symbol on the upper right part of her chest. She was gone now--_never_ to return. It would do little to no good to keep thinking about it, save for keeping the good memories. Stephanie _would_ want him to go on--no doubt about that. He grew a bit wistful, then smiled slowly as he thought about _Jane_. If there was any girl that could help him go on, he believed for some _reason_ it could be her--but he did not want to like her just to help him get _over_ Stephanie--that wouldn't be _fair_ to Jane--or the _memory_ of Stephanie, or even _himself_. Of course, it could be the same way concerning Jane and Tom from _Jane's_ point of view over seeing Darren to get over Tom, even though Jane said that her and Tom's relationship had gone _steadily_ downhill for awhile--Darren pondered on whether he should _talk_ to her later about that.

His cell phone on his bed suddenly rang on its own. Perhaps Woo had _found_ Sanchez? He quietly put the picture back in his bag, reached on the bed and clicked on the phone, and spoke.

DARREN: _(Hesitating for a moment:)_ Er--hello?

VOICE: _(Sounding quiet, and contrite:)_ Hey, man--it's _me_. I'm calling from my grandma's.

DARREN: _(Raised eyebrows, smiles, delighted and surprised:) Curtis_?

CURTIS: The one and only. Look, I want to _apologize_ for _snapping_ at you the last time we talked. I know you wouldn't do anything like keep that sort of _secret_ from your birth family if you could help it--

DARREN: _(Cuts him off, eager to make amends:)_ --No, no--you were _right_! Believe me when I say to you that if I could tell the Morgendorffers my _real_ last name, I would've by now. It's just that-- _something's_ come up, and, well--it's just not a good time right now.

CURTIS: _(Gives a sighing sound:)_ It's cool. The reason why I'm calling is that I just had a close run-in with a _reporter_ while I was out at a nearby mall with Lena. They came from the local TV station--must've made some sort of _damn_ connection through some sources concerning our friendship. They tried like _hell_ to get something, _hassling_ us, but I told them to go take a _hike_. After experiencing _that_ incident, I wanted to add that you've now gotten my _sympathy_, man--I _don't_ blame you for not wanting to talk to the media right now. I told them to stay the hell away from _Lena_--she doesn't know where you are because I _didn't_ tell her anything, and she hadn't _pushed_ me on the subject.

DARREN: _(Grinds his teeth in frustration:) Damn_. Curtis, I'm sorry for all of this--you and Lena shouldn't have had to take all that _garbage_ for me. Hopefully, it won't be long before this is all over with. Is Lena all right?

CURTIS: Yeah, she's okay. _(Hesitates:)_ I've been doing some thinking--does this--well--does this have anything to do with _Woo_ investigating what happened with your parent's plane crash? _(Darren looks alarmed)_ I couldn't help but to wonder _why_ you couldn't tell me, and I even felt Lena _knew_ something was wrong with me after she _caught_ me acting pretty _angry_ about my previous phone call to you when she and I were together the other night. She didn't say anything to me about _that_, either--_(chuckles:)_ I couldn't keep _anything_ from that girl.

DARREN: _(Thought v.o.: Too bad **I** can't say the same--**yet**. Searches for words:)_ Ah, Curtis--let's just say Woo's onto _something_, but he hasn't found anything _definitive_ that we can use yet. _(Changes subject quickly:)_ I meant to tell you--I--met a _girl_ yesterday while jogging.

CURTIS: _(Now sounds very excited, buys the change of subject:) Really_, now? Thatta boy! So, I assume she's quite a _looker_--?

DARREN: _(Chuckles:) Oh_ yeah, you'd _better_ believe she is. Her name's _Jane Lane_--she also happens to be my sister Daria's _best_ friend.

CURTIS: _(Now grows suddenly quiet, and after a pause:) Oh_. That sort of--_complicates_ things, huh?

DARREN: _(Grins:)_ Heh--I _thought_ that would bring you back _down_ to earth. Don't worry--it's _no_ big deal. Let me tell you _how_ Jane and I met--

Quinn went to Daria's room to tell her about Jane coming over.

QUINN: _(Knocks:)_ Daria, it's me. _Can_ I come in?

DARIA: _(Now off of her computer, and on her bed, propped up reading Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's **Hound of the Baskervilles**:)_ Sure, _"me". (Quinn comes in)_ Oh, and by the way, it's _"**May** I come in"._

QUINN: _(Frowns, hands on her hips:)_ Why should _you_ come in, Daria? _I'm_ the one coming into _your_ room. You're _already_ here.

DARIA: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ As _Archie Bunker_ would say: _"Dingbat, dingbat, dingbat! (Sighs while Quinn looks at Daria, confused:)_ Never mind. What do you want, oh-fashion-obsessed-_"cousin"_-of-mine? _(Smirks)_

QUINN: _(Glares:) Ha_, Daria. Anyway, Darren just told me that Jane's on her way over here. _(Shrugs, as if what she just said was a **minor** afterthought:)_ I just thought you wanted to know, or _something_.

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ Why Quinn--how _nice_ of you to to tell me that Jane was coming over _(sneers:) "just for me to know". (Faux gasp:)_ Why, you'd _think_ Jane and I _actually_ knew each other, and were _"best"_ friends, or _"something"_.

QUINN: _(Narrows her eyes:)_ Ha _again_, Daria. _(Turns around:)_ Well, I've done _my_ job. I'm going downstairs where mom and dad are, and wait for--

DARIA: _(While getting off of her bed, puts her book aside:)_ --Hold it, _"Red". (Quinn turns around)_ That reminds me--I wanted to ask you a question.

QUINN: _(Impatient, hands on her hips:) What_ is it, Daria?

DARIA: You just told me that Jane's coming over--you know, the _"Jane"_ that _likes_ our brother? You don't sound _too_ upset over this particular development _now_ as opposed to when we were downstairs when we first heard it. _(Quinn rolls her eyes while Daria continues)_ Okay, _how much_?

QUINN: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ How much _what_, Daria?

DARIA: _(Crosses her arms, looking stern:)_ How much _crap_ did you _con_ our _"too-nice-of-a-bro"_ out of to _play_ nice with Jane, _"cuz"_? Don't bother trying to _deny_ it.

Quinn fumed at Daria for a moment, then spoke.

QUINN: _Fine_. Yeah, I _did_ get something out of Darren--but it's for my _birthday_ next month--

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ --You mean, the _"cover"_ is that it's for your birthday. _(Pauses:)_ So, what was it? _Money_? _Clothes_ --? Maybe a little of _both_?

QUINN: _(Now crosses **her** arms, defiant:)_ Since you wanna know so badly, it's _clothes_ from _Cashman's_. After we meet Jane, Darren's gonna take me there to get some _before_ we come back here and get ready to go to _Chez Pierre_ tonight.

Daria looked at Quinn and slowly shook her head, quietly _disgusted_. After a moment, Quinn frowned at Daria, more out of confusion than anger.

QUINN: God, what's _your_ problem, Daria? Darren _agreed_ to say they were for my birthday in case mom and dad asked, so why're you goin' _postal_ about this?

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ Quinn, you're getting Darren to spend his _own_ money on you, not only for _Chez Pierre_, but _Cashman's_ as well. _(Pauses:)_ That money, however _little_ Darren has, came as an _inheritance_ from the _deaths_ of his adopted parents. I'm only _guessing_ that it's _not_ all that much--and all of this _after_ he's helped you with preparing for going to the Fashion Institute, _and_ getting an internship at Circa Fashions, where his late adopted mother worked. _(Quinn turns pale while Daria frowns:)_ I mean, birthday, or not--how could you just take _advantage_ of him like that? _(Pauses:)_ And now when I _think_ about it, you've just done the same thing you thought I accused _you_ of doing when you tried to pull that trick of getting Darren to go along with saying that he was your cousin, remember? How _incredibly_ prophetic. Isn't he doing _more_ than enough for you? Don't you have any _decency_ at _all_, Quinn? I thought even _you_ had at least a _little_.

Quinn stared at Daria, stunned, apparently at a loss for words. She remembered the talk she just had with Darren over calling her parents "Jake" and "Helen", and _why_ he did so. The cold reality hit Quinn _hard_--she _was_ taking advantage of Darren. She then looked down, _ashamed_.

QUINN: _(Trying to find what to say:)_ D-Daria--I--uh--_(begins to cry:)_ I'm--SORRY! _(Suddenly leaves Daria's room for her own)_

DARIA: _(Genuinely surprised at Quinn's reaction:)_ Well, whattaya know--she _does_ have a _conscience. (Goes after Quinn, thought v.o.: And I guess I **do**, too.:)_ Wait a second, Quinn!

Darren was just finishing talking to Curtis when he heard what sounded like a _crying_ Quinn run by his closed door, then a door slamming. He frowned, perplexed.

DARREN: Hey, Curtis--something's just come up--do you mind if I call you back tomorrow or some other time?

CURTIS: _(Laughing sound:)_ No problem, _"Mr. Mud Hero"_. Chill.

DARREN: Take it easy. _(Clicks off phone, gets off his bed, and looks in the hallway, sees Daria:)_ Daria, what's going on? Was that _Quinn_?

Before Daria could answer, Helen and Jake had come upstairs when they heard Quinn's crying. Helen looked at Darren and Daria for an explanation, while Jake of course, was--well--being _Jake_.

JAKE: _(Screams while holding his head:) WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH MY LITTLE GIRL_?! _(Daria, having experienced this before, remains impassive, while Darren looks at Jake with a bit of a terrified look on his face) WHAT HAPPENED_?! _(Helen rolls her eyes. She, like Daria, has seen this as well.)_

HELEN: Jake, calm down! _(Which he does, rather instantaneously, and Helen then looks back at Daria and Darren:)_ Do you two know what's wrong with Quinn?

DARIA: _(Prepares herself for the unenviable task of informing her parents as to why:)_ Well, you see--

DARREN: _(Suddenly jumps in, looks for words:)_ --I told Quinn that--that--_sequin fashion_ is out for this year, and that she's going to have to find a _new_ fabric for the fall. _(Daria looks at Darren as if to say, **"Are you nuts?"**)_ I guess she took it pretty _hard--(laughs uneasily, shrugs:)_ you know how it is with Quinn and fashion.

Helen and Jake looked at each other for a second, baffled. Daria simply watched her parents and brother, expressionless, inwardly _amused_ to see what would happen next.

HELEN: _(Now smiles with Jake, in her falsetto voice:) Ohhhh_, is that all? _(Daria rolls her eyes--Helen's brought the story.)_ Honestly--we thought something was really _amiss_ with Quinn.

DARIA: _(Supreme deadpan:)_ That's been _obvious_ for _years_--I believe this came about when she was _born. (Darren holds in his humor--**barely**, while Helen rolls her eyes, exasperated)_

JAKE: _(Now suddenly concerned again:)_ It _was_? Oh, NO! _(Looks at Helen, panicking:)_ Honey, what are we gonna--

HELEN: _(Sighs loudly, while turning Jake around and pushing him back down the stairs:)_ Come _on_, Jakey--Daria was only _joking_. Let me take you back to your Sunday paper--

DARIA: _(Calls to Helen while she's pushing Jake downstairs:)_ --And you can get back to your Sunday _paperwork. (Helen gives Daria a quick, annoyed glare before going out of sight)_

DARREN: _(Realizes something, goes to the top of the stairs and shouts down to Helen and Jake:)_ Oh, I forgot to tell you two that Jane's on her way over!

HELEN: _(From below, after a moment:)_ Oh, she _is_? Well, we'll watch out for her, son--thank you.

DARREN: _(Goes back to Daria:)_ Okay, sis--I _bought_ you some _time_ over Quinn. What happened?

DARIA: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ How do you know that _I_ had something to do with Quinn crying?

DARREN: _(Slightly smirks:)_ Call it a wild "hunch". It sounded like she was coming from _your_ room.

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ Good guess. Okay, here's the lowdown--

_(Scene changes to down the street from the Morgendorffer's home)_

Jane walked down the sidewalk carrying the wrapped-up canvas of artwork under her arm. She hoped it would help smooth over any of the "rocky" bumps she might encounter when she would see the Morgendorffers. Jane still felt that everything would _not_ be a-okay, even with Darren's assurances--after all, she felt he had _hesitated_ over Quinn saying it was fine. Jane smirked to herself over this thought. She figured somehow or another that _"The Queen"_ had gotten _something_ in exchange for her _"approval"_ of Jane seeing Darren--Daria had explained how Quinn _"operated"_ to Jane in the past, as well as Jane seeing Quinn in action herself at various times. Oh well--Jane did not expect a _rousing_ response from Quinn either way--might as well grin and bear it.

Helen would be--_tolerant_ of the relationship for Darren's sake --Trent's little deduction about her not wanting to push Darren away was probably true, but Jane _really_ did want Helen to go along with Jane liking Darren, and not just to do so for her son's sake. Jane was a little surprised that Jake actually _supported_ Darren seeing her--maybe he _was_ getting a backbone after all.

Though sure that Daria would go along with Jane seeing Darren, Jane still felt _unsure_ for some reason about Daria's _overall_ response. She would have to _apologize_ to Daria for _"misleading"_ her on Jane's feelings for Darren--and that within itself actually gave Jane some inner _pain_, for Jane had rarely kept her opinions to herself when she talked to her _"Partner-In-Crime"_ about anything. Not only that, but Jane privately believed that by liking Darren, it kind of _"twisted the knife"_ in Daria's heart--Jane could actually get with _Daria's_ brother Darren, but Daria could _not_ get with _Jane's_ brother Trent, even with Jane's "help"--though Jane could not know for _sure_ that Daria even still _had_ an interest in him. _Damn_, this wasn't fair--but then again, _what_ was? Jane decided that at least for now, _that_ little subject should be left _alone_--no need to _alienate_ her friend over such speculations.

Jane finally saw the Morgendorffer's home coming into view. Her heart suddenly began to _race_--why in the _hell_ was that happening? _You've been there **hundreds** of times, girl--what's the big deal? Is it **seeing** Darren, or hoping things go well when you see the Morgendorffers? Maybe a little of **both**?_ Feeling a bit nervous, Jane found herself clutching her wrapped-up artwork a little _tighter_ under her arm--she hoped it would do the trick in making _peace_ with the Morgendorffers--and even against hope, _Quinn_.

_(Scene is back at the Morgendorffer's--the hallway)_

Daria had finished explaining why Quinn had cried after Daria had talked to her. Darren shook his head slowly, sighing.

DARREN: _(Softly:)_ Oh, Daria--look, I appreciate your _defending_ me over thinking that Quinn was taking _advantage_ of me, and taking some of my--_minuscule_ amount of money I got from my deceased (adopted) parents. _(Pauses:)_ To a certain extent, you're probably _right_, she is--but it's _okay_--I don't mind buying something for Quinn.

DARIA: _(Arches an eyebrow:)_ You're _sure_ there's not going to be any problem, Darren? I mean, yeah, I felt _really_ bad over what I said to Quinn, but I _also_ know that it was _true_ about the things she does in _using_ people.

DARREN: _(Shrugs:)_ Yes, you told me about Quinn _"pulling the wool"_ over people's eyes, remember? _(Smiles:)_ And Daria, Quinn _did_ cry after you said that to her. If she didn't, Quinn would've just _shrugged off_ what you talked to her about, and wouldn't have felt _anything_--

DARIA: --And as I um, _thought_ to myself when she left my room, she _does_ have a conscience. _(Pauses, shrugs:)_ Well, it's _your_ money, bro.

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ Thanks, sis--now let's go and cheer Quinn up. _(Starts knocking on Quinn's door:)_ Quinn? It's Darren and Daria! Will you let us come in?

Unbeknowest to Daria and Darren, Quinn had been _listening_ to their conversation in the hallway with an ear on her bedroom door, or to at least the end portion of their talk. She really _had_ felt badly about using her brother to get some clothes from _Cashman's_--Daria sure had laid it on the "guilt trip" _thick_. Quinn could not remember Daria _ever_ going after her like that over getting something from someone--she could even say that Daria _herself_ took advantage of _her_ when Daria wanted something--more than just the _"cousin"_ thing, notwithstanding. Certainly, Daria had _blackmailed_ her at various times, such as doing Daria's chores around the house in return for not telling their parents over something bad Quinn had done, _(Note to reader: See "Malled" for but one example of this)_ or giving money to Daria for Daria to do her homework, or something else during their various _"bargaining sessions"._ With some rare exceptions, this had always been the case in the past in one form, or another.

Then _Darren_ came into the picture, and Daria seemed to _change_ somewhat _(in a very small way)_--and to a certain extent, Quinn _herself_. Daria had _refused_ to go along when Quinn approached her and offered Daria money for saying that Darren was _Daria's_ cousin--and Quinn saw the end result of _that_ little fiasco. Darren had _whipped_ Joey, Jeffrey, and _Jack_--no, wait--_Jamie_, when they thought Darren was her boyfriend, and had jumped on him in the Pizza King, thus letting them get the word out to all of her perspective suitors in Lawndale, (as misunderstood as that was) that Quinn was _off_ limits. Much to her surprise, Quinn did _not_ get angry at her brother for unwittingly doing so--and that of itself _confused_ her in a way. Having _no_ dates to go out on, she found herself _studying_, with Darren's help, and going over the curriculum for the Fashion Institute. She discovered, thanks to Darren again, that it indeed _did_ take _"brains"_ to get an _associate of arts_ degree. Normally, Quinn would've _blanched_ at doing "brainy" things, but she then began to realize that being in fashion design _was_ a "brainy" thing that she _could_ do, and she actually started to--_enjoy_ it--again, thanks to her brother's encouragement.

Then there was _Jane_. Quinn obviously did not like the _"art geek"_, Daria's _"weirdo"_ friend, especially since Quinn thought that she was seeing that _Tim_--no, wait--_Tom_ guy. Okay, _fine_--so Big Bro saved Jane's _life--any_ girl would be _grateful_ for that--especially by someone as _hunky_ as her bro--but one _kiss_, and _instant_ attraction? Come _on_! _Well then_, she had thought, _if you **really** find yourself attracted to her, bro, fine--but you're gonna have to **pay** for **my** approval_. Quinn thought about what she was going to get in _addition_ for a dinner at _Chez Pierre_ from Darren--nothing out of the _ordinary_ for her, and laid on her sisterly _charm_ to Darren--and he _fell_ for it, having _no_ other choice, of course. Then came Daria and her _damn_ talk--and Quinn finding herself feeling _genuinely_ guilty--and even _crying_ over it! She came to her senses when she heard knocking on her bedroom door, and quickly wiped her wet eyes with the back of her hand--she hoped that her _make-up_ wasn't running.

DARREN: _(Finishes knocking:)_ I guess she's _still_ upset, Daria--I've been knocking for about _20_ seconds, and Quinn's not answering.

DARIA: Well, maybe we should leave her for now, bro, and--

The door suddenly _flew_ open, and Quinn stood in the doorway, looking red-faced and red-eyed. She looked hesitantly between the two, and spoke before they could.

QUINN: _(In a contrite tone, or as contrite as someone like Quinn could get:)_ Darren, I'm--_sorry. (Darren and Daria look at each other, shocked)_ I shouldn't have asked you to buy me some clothes an' stuff like that just so that I could be nice to Jane. We _don't_ have to go to _Cashman's, (and adds after a pause:)_ or _Chez Pierre_, if you don't want to. _(Looks down)_

Daria narrowed her eyes for a second, then walked forward, and gently brushed past Quinn, going into Quinn's room, and started to look around. Quinn and Darren looked at each other, confused.

DARREN: Uh, Daria, _what_ are you doing?

DARIA: _(While still looking around:)_ I'm trying to find the _real_ Quinn. The one with us here is obviously a _replacement_ Quinn. _(Looks at Quinn:) Who_ are you, and what did you do with _our_ Quinn, and more importantly, can you keep her from _ever_ coming back? _(Darren chuckles while Quinn rolls her eyes)_

QUINN: _Look_--I just, well, decided that um, maybe you were _right_ about me wanting things from our bro, Daria--I mean, I guess Darren did help me _way_ more than I realized an' stuff, and I probably was a little _too_ selfish, that's all. _(Daria raises an eyebrow at Quinn that says, "A **little** too selfish?")_

DARREN: _(Walks up to Quinn, puts a hand on her shoulder:)_ Quinn, it's all right. I don't see any harm in you getting at least _one_ new dress for our "date" tonight at this _Chez Pierre_. You _did_ earn it--especially given what you did just now, being _unselfish_, considering everything that Daria said to you. _(Quinn looks shocked at Darren, while Daria says nothing)_ Tell you what--we'll see Jane, then you and I will go to _Cashman's_, okay?

QUINN: _(Gasps, delighted:)_ Y-you _really_ mean it, bro? I-I was really kind of _rezoned_ to staying here--

DARIA: --Quinn, that's _resigned_--

QUINN: _(Frowns slightly at Daria:) --whatever_, but if you want me to go, Darren, then I will.

DARREN: _(Grins:)_ Teriffic, sis. Now let's--

At that moment, the doorbell rang from downstairs.

DARIA: That's gotta be _Jane_, bro--the _time_ is at hand. See you guys downstairs. _(Leaves)_

DARREN: Right behind you, Daria--_(looks at Quinn:)_ coming, sis?

QUINN: _(Smiles weakly:)_ Lemme fix up my face, and I'll be down in a minute, okay, Darren?

DARREN: Okay, sis--don't be too long. _(Leaves while Quinn shuts her door)_

Jane had been let in and welcomed by Helen, who gave a nice, but somewhat _forced_ smile to Jane. Jane walked into the living room holding the wrapped-up painting she had done. Jake got up off the right couch and gave his usual _clueless_ smile, putting his paper aside, and reached out to shake Jane's hand, welcoming her as well, while Helen noticed what Jane was holding, and inquired.

HELEN: _(Raises an eyebrow:)_ Jane, what's that you've got under your arm?

JANE: _(Thought v.o.: It isn't a **bomb** or a **gun**, Helen.:)_ It's a--_"peace offering"_ of sorts, Mrs. Morgendorffer. I hope you guys like it.

HELEN: _(Looks confused, surprised:)_ A _"peace offering"_? Why, Jane, you don't feel like we're your--_(pauses:) enemy_ just because you might not think we want you to see our son, do you?

JANE: _(Thought v.o.: **"Might"** not? You're **kidding**, right?:)_ Not at _all_, Mrs. Morgendorffer--I just wanted to present you guys with something that'll kind of _"symbolize"_ your _blossoming_ relationship with your long-lost son, that's all.

Daria had just come down the stairs and caught the tail-end of Jane's remark. She walked up to Jane.

DARIA: Hey, Jane--_(smirks:)_ what's this that I hear about some sort of "symbol" and "blossoming"? _(Eyes Jane's "gift":)_ Hmmm--don't tell me you've painted a field of _condoms_ as far as the eye can see?

JAKE & HELEN: _(Red-faced while Jane smirks:) DARIA_!

Darren came down the stairs, saw Jane, and slowly _smiled_. Jane saw Darren and _returned_ the same smile--this moment was not lost on Daria, Helen, and Jake.

DARREN: Hi, Jane.

JANE: Hi, Darren.

DARREN: _(Walks up beside Jane and Daria, looks around at everybody else:)_ Quinn will be down in a minute--she's making herself _decent_.

DARIA: Now that's next to _impossible_--I thought I _told_ her that already. _(Jane smirks some more while Darren gives Daria a little of an **admonitory** smirk, and Helen and Jake look at each other, miffled)_

DARREN: _(Notices Jane's package now:)_ Jane, what's that your holding? It looks like some sort of canvas-shaped work of art.

JANE: _(Smiles:)_ Well, Darren, like I told your parents--

At that moment, Quinn came down the steps with her _sickenly_ (to Daria and Jane, at least) sweet smile, voice, and charm. Daria cocked an eyebrow when she noticed that somehow, someway, Quinn had actually been able to pull off _looking_ decent--she had shook off the rather _pathetic_, red-eyed, red-faced visage that Daria and Darren had witnessed when they went to see Quinn. Daria glanced at her brother, and saw that even _he_ had seen the difference. Though she'd _never_ admit it, Daria had to give it to Quinn--her sister _did_ have the talent to fix herself up in a _hell_ of a hurry.

QUINN: _(In her singy-songy voice:) Hiiii_, everybody! _(Looks at Jane, her voice **neutral**:)_ Um, _hey_, Jane.

JANE: _(Her voice neutral as well:) Hey_, Quinn. _(Quickly looks around to everyone else, goes to the front of the room, and sits the wrapped-up canvas on the center couch:)_ Well, folks--since you're all here now, I want to give you all something that I painted from my--uh--_heart_ to celebrate Darren being here with you all. _(Everyone looks at each other, intrigued, while Jane unwraps her "gift", and shows it:) Viola_!

Helen, Jake, Quinn, and Darren looked _stunned_, and _gasped_, while Daria simply looked at Jane's work, wordlessly, cocking a _slight_ eyebrow.

The painting was a group portrait of the Morgendorffers and Darren, Jake on the left rear and Helen on the right rear of the picture, with Jake having his right hand on Quinn's right shoulder, and his left hand on Darren's right shoulder. Helen had her right hand on Darren's left shoulder, with her left hand on Daria's left shoulder. Helen and Jake were standing behind a sitting Darren, Quinn, and Daria. Darren, dressed in a brown dress jacket and suit, and smiling, was in the center, flanked by a "cute" smiling Quinn on the left, her left arm hooked with Darren's right arm. Daria was on the right, _not_ smiling (of course), and looking at her family with a bit of _disdain_, but she _did_ have her right arm hooked with Darren's left arm, but it was done in such a way, as if Daria wanted to _hide_ it from the _other_ members of her family. Helen and Jake were dressed in their usual clothing, the same for Daria and Quinn. The background was of a greenish-gray tint. Jane had caught the facial features of the Morgendorffers and Darren almost _perfectly_.

HELEN: _(Begins to cry:)_ O-oh, _Jane_! T-this i-is so--so _beautiful_!

JAKE: _(Himself almost tearing up:)_ Y-yeah--it's _great_, Jane-o!

QUINN: _(Still in shock, but does find the words:) W-wow_, Jane! You even got _both_ of my good sides! I'm--so--so _cute_!

DARREN: _(Turns to Jane with a look of disbelief, then forces himself to speak:)_ Jane, this--is--is--_magnificent_! _(Jane gives him a quiet smile of appreciation)_

DARIA: _(Shrugs, deadpan:)_ Eh--it's _okay. (Jane simply gives Daria a look that says, **"Why am I not surprised?"**)_

Overwhelmed with emotion, Helen rushed up to a stunned Jane and _hugged_ her tightly. Jane looked like a _deer trapped in the headlights_, standing in place _rigidly_. Daria _wickedly_ smirked at Jane, figuring she _deserved_ to get the _"touchy-feely"_ hug for painting such a _stomach-turningly_ cute family portrait. While Jake was wiping his eyes, Quinn walked over to the painting, awed, and examined her painted self closer. Darren simply _smiled_ at Helen hugging Jane--Jane apparently had _succeeded_ in making peace with the Morgendorffers.

Everyone (save for Daria, who simply watched the "festivities" with her arms crossed) had talked about the picture, which Jake and Darren had hung up over the Morgendorffer's front wall in the living room. Jane was peppered with questions.

HELEN: _(While looking up at the picture, her arm around Jake's waist:)_ Jane, _however_ were you able to _capture_ us on the canvas like that? It's as if we had _poised_ for you while you painted us.

JANE: _(Shrugs:)_ Well, Mrs. Morgendorffer, _(sneaks a peek at Darren, who's standing beside her looking up at the painting:)_ let's just say that I was _inspired. (At Jane's emphasis on the word "inspired", Darren cuts his eyes down to her and smiles quietly, while everyone other than Jake gets the implication)_

JAKE: _(While looking at the painting as well:)_ How _long_ did it take you to do this, Jane?

JANE: About _two hours. (Jake whistles)_

QUINN: _(Ditto like Helen and Jake:)_ Well, I gotta say _this_ is better than those _funny-looking_ paintings you _usually_ do, Jane. _(Jane rolls her eyes, annoyed, while Darren simply sighs at Quinn, exasperated, and Daria frowns at her slightly. Helen and Jake are still too engrossed in the painting to notice what Quinn had said)_ You caught me _pefectly_!

DARIA: _(Now smirks:)_ Too bad she couldn't have caught you in your _"early-morning"_ mode--now _that_ would have been the _"real"_ Quinn we all know and love _so_ well. _(Jane and Darren look at each other, trying not to laugh, while Helen and Jake now look at Daria and give barely-noticible frowns of disapproval)_

QUINN: _(Looks at Daria with contempt:)_ Oh, that's _reeeal_ funny, Daria--

DARIA: _(Still smirks:) --I_ thought so--

QUINN: _(Either not noticing or ignoring Daria:)_ --but Darren and I have gotta get ready to go.

HELEN: Oh, that's right--you two are going to Chez Pierre tonight, aren't you? _(Looks at her watch:)_ It seems _awfully_ early to get ready, isn't it?

DARREN: We're going to _Cashman's_ to get Quinn a new dress for her to wear tonight. _(Jane cocks an inquisitve, but knowing eyebrow at this, while Daria says nothing)_

HELEN: _(Looks at Quinn with a slight frown:)_ Now Quinn, I don't think it's _appropiate_ to--

DARREN: _(Steps in between Helen and Quinn:)_ --No, no, it's all right. I _insist_ that I do this, okay? _(Looks between Helen and Jake:)_ After all, you two haven't _allowed_ me to use my money to help pay for _anything_ while I've been staying here, so the least I can do is _this_. Anyway, it's just _one_ dress. _(Smiles down at Helen, puts his hand reassuringly on her shoulder:) Please_? _(Jane and Daria look at each other knowingly--Darren's going to win over Helen--**again**.)_

Helen's face softened _considerably_, and she smiled.

HELEN: Well, all right--_(looks at Quinn, her face becomes a little stern:)_ but _only_ one dress, sweetie.

QUINN: _(Smiles:)_ Okay, Mom. Darren, I'm gonna go upsairs and get ready to go. It'll be a few minutes. _(Leaves to go upstairs)_

DARIA: _(Watches Quinn go up:)_ And the world will _never_ be the same.

HELEN: Jane, thank you _so_ much. You put a lot of effort into the painting in such a _short_ time--_(pauses:)_ at least maybe we can _pay_ you--?

JAKE: _(Comes up with Helen, begins to dig out his wallet:) Yeah_!

JANE: _(Waves them off:)_ No, no--like I said, the painting is a _gift_--nothing more, nothing _less_. Just you guys _liking_ it is _more_ than enough for me. _(Daria snorts to herself)_

HELEN: Well--all right--if you want it that way--

Daria quietly looked over to Darren and Jane, seeing that they were looking at each other and wanting to _talk_. Daria then glanced over to her mom, and began to make some very quiet _grunting_ noises to get Helen's attention. Daria succeeded, for Helen took notice, and motioned to Jake.

HELEN: Er, Jake--let's go _upstairs (motions her eyes up:)_ --I--want to _show_ you something.

JAKE: Huh? _(Looks blank for a second, then looks uneasily around:)_ Oh, well--uh, Helen--don't you think it's er, a little too _early_ for that sort of _thing_? I mean, it's not the _evening_ yet! _(Helen rolls her eyes, red-faced and embarassed, while Daria and Jane smirk, and Darren chuckles)_

HELEN: _(Takes Jake's arm:)_ Come _on_, Jake! _(Pulls him upstairs)_

JAKE: _(While being pulled upstairs, his voice fades off:)_ Okay, Helen, but don't ya think we ought to make sure the drapes are _closed_ first?

Daria looked back at Jane and Darren before going upstairs.

DARIA: I've _cleared_ the room, you two--it's your space. Jane, I'll be in my room when you come up. _(Leaves)_

DARREN: Thanks, sis. _(Watches her go up, turns to Jane, smiling:)_ So.

JANE: _(Smirks, walking up to Darren, holding his hands:)_ So.

DARREN: _(After a pause, looking down at her:)_ Well, get it out--_tell_ me.

JANE: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ Tell you _what_?

DARREN: Tell me how Quinn _conned_ me out of getting a dress from _Cashman's_ in return for her being _nice_ to you. _(Grins:)_ I _saw_ the slight _look_ you had when you heard of her getting one before she and I go out to this _Chez Pierre_ tonight.

JANE: _(Shrugs:)_ Hey, I kind of _expected_ it from Quinn, so I'm not _really_ surprised. She got what she _wanted_?

DARREN: Actually, yes _and_ no--and you could say that _Daria_ had something to do with it--and as a result, Quinn learned a _valuable_ lesson about _herself_ in the process.

JANE: _(Stares blankly:)_ Now you've _lost_ me. Who did _what_?

Darren smiled at Jane's confusion, and was about to answer when the doorbell rang.

DARREN: _(Shouts up the stairs:)_ I'll answer it! _(Goes to the door with Jane in tow:)_ Now, who could _that_ be?

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ Famous _last_ words.

Darren chuckled, and opened the door. _Tom_ was standing there. Both Darren and Jane looked at him shocked, and then at each other. For his part, Tom looked surprisingly _calm_, something that seemed to _concern_ Jane, though she did not show it outwardly.

DARREN: _(Looks at Tom, feeling foolish:)_ Oh, uh, _hey_, Tom.

JANE: _(Red-faced, in a quiet tone:)_ Yo. Tom.

TOM: _(Completely in a flat tone, "Daria-style":) Darren. Jane._

There was a long, awkward pause, then Tom spoke.

TOM: _(In slightly more of a normal tone:)_ Ah--I just wanted to _thank_ Daria for her _help_ with trying to, well--_(looks away, talks low:)_ you _know_, Jane. _(Darren looks confused, looks over at Jane, who knows all **too** well what Tom is talking about)_

JANE: _(In a small voice:)_ Yeah, sure--_(pauses:)_ you want to--come _in_ to tell her _yourself_?

TOM: _(Looks uncomfortable for a moment:)_ Er, no, that's okay, Jane, I'm not going to stay _long_, anyway--I'd appreciate if you would tell her for me, okay? _(Jane nods, and Tom turns to Darren, and hesitates:)_ I'm here also to _thank_ Darren for saving your life, Jane. _(Stiffly reaches out and shakes Darren's hand)_

DARREN: _(Now clearly uncomfortable, returning the handshake:)_ Well, as I've said, _(looks uneasily at Jane:)_ I'm just glad I happened to be around there when the sinkhole imploded.

TOM: _(Resigned, quiet:)_ Yeah--and I'm _glad_ you were, and I _mean_ that. _(Takes a deep breath:)_ I'm going out of town to _finish_ my vacation.

JANE: _(Shows some slight concern:)_ Oh? Um--anyplace in _particular_?

TOM: _(After a moment:)_ I'll probably go and see some of my relatives in Palmerville. _(Looks at his watch:)_ Well, I'd better go on. _(Turns around:)_ I'll see you guys later. _(Starts to leave)_

DARREN: Uh, Tom--could you and I _talk_ before you leave? _(Jane raises an eyebrow, while Tom gives Darren an unreadable look)_ Jane, would you _excuse_ us for a moment, please? _(Follows Tom out of the front, shuts the door before Jane can say anything, so Jane goes to the large front window and looks out through the drapes at the two, worried)_

Darren and Tom went out to the driveway.

TOM: _(Talks in a neutral tone:)_ What did you want to talk to me about, Darren? _(Adds, arches an eyebrow:)_ As if I _didn't_ know.

DARREN: _(Ponders for a second over Tom's words, then speaks plainly:)_ Tom--I--didn't _plan_ for this to happen with Jane and me--_(looks around for words:)_ it just--_did_.

TOM: _(After a pause, then surprises Darren by chuckling:)_ Hmm--it _usually_ happens that way. The _same_ thing occurred when Jane and I _first_ met at the _Zen. (Note to reader: See "Jane's Addition")_ Look, Darren--I am _angry_--but it's at _me_ more than at anybody else, so _stop_ feeling _guilty. (Pauses while Darren looks at him, shocked:)_ After Jane left with Trent following our talk over breaking up, I couldn't sleep at _all_ last night. All I could do is think about what happened between me and her, and of the _stupid_ things that I said to her. She told me that she thought I was _controlling_ her--and after I went back in my mind over what happened between us in the last few weeks, you know, she was _right. (Darren simply stares at Tom, deep in thought)_ All of those dates we had--do you know that I took her for _granted_? _(Frowns:) Damn_! Why didn't I _see_ what was happening before it was _too_ late?

DARREN: _(Tries to find something to say:)_ Tom--I--well--

TOM: _(Cuts Darren off:)_ --She _liked_ it, Darren.

DARREN: _(Looks at Tom with a perplexed frown:)_ Liked--_what_--?

TOM: The _kiss_ she gave you at the Zen. Jane _wanted_ to kiss you. She told me at the _end_ of our talk. I knew then and there that there was _no_ chance of us getting back together again.

DARREN: Yes, she _told_ me she liked it.

TOM: _(After a moment:)_ Yeah, I kind of figured that she _did_--and I assumed that _you_ did as well.

DARREN: _(Hesitates:)_ Yeah--yeah, I _did_.

TOM: _(Shrugs:)_ Can't say I _don't_ blame you. Jane was--_(looks off for a second:) was_ one _hell_ of a kisser --one _more_ thing that I took for granted. I'm going to _reaccess_ my life on my vacation, Darren. _(Adds:)_ I can't believe I was such a _jerk_--how could I have been so _stupid_? _(Pauses:)_ Look, I'm going to ask you for a _favor_.

DARREN: _(After a moment:)_ Sure--_anything_.

TOM: _(Sounding **very** serious:)_ Take _care_ of Jane for me, okay? That girl is a _wonderful_ person, and you and Daria are _lucky_ to have her in your lives. Can you do that for me?

DARREN: _(Sounding sincere:)_ Yes, Tom--I _will. (Adds:)_ But you don't seem to be such a _bad_ person yourself.

TOM: _(Smirks:)_ Oh, yes I _am_--otherwise, I'd _still_ be with Jane. _(Darren smiles weakly)_ Take care of yourself. _(Turns to go to his beat-up blue Pinto that's parked in front of the Morgendorffer's)_

DARREN: _(Quietly:)_ Yeah--you too, Tom. _(Watches him get into his car, and it starts up, and leaves its usual trail of smoke, oil, and gas fumes)_

Jane watched the conversation between the two and sighed in _relief_. It looked like they parted ways on decent terms. She was about to go outside when _Quinn_ came downstairs. Both girls stopped and looked at each other awkwardly. Quinn spoke up.

QUINN: _(Looks around:)_ So, um, where's my bro?

JANE: _(Motions with her eyes at the front door:)_ He's--outside with _Tom_.

QUINN: _(Lets out a gasp:) Tom_? You mean your _ex-boyfriend_?

JANE: _(Glares at Quinn:)_ Tom is _still_ my friend, Quinn--it's not like we parted on _bad_ terms. _(Thought v.o.: Unlike you and **your** so-called **army** of boyfriends--then they come running **back** for more)_

QUINN: _(Frowns:)_ Well, I hope Tom _knows_ what he's getting himself into if he wants to _fight_ Darren, you know?

JANE: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Quinn, I saw Darren and Tom only _talk_, and _nothing_ happened.

QUINN: Oh--that's a _relief_, I guess.

Darren opened the front door and came in.

JANE: _(Walks up quietly to Darren:)_ How--did--how did everything go between you two?

DARREN: _(After staring at Jane for a moment:)_ Actually _better_ than I thought. He's a _good_ person, Jane--I wished it didn't end up like this.

JANE: _(Looks down:)_ Yeah, I know. _(Looks back up:)_ Well, I guess I'll go up and see Daria, then.

DARREN: Sure, but before you do, _(looks at Quinn, tosses her his keys:)_ Quinn, could you wait in my car for me, please?

QUINN: _(Looks between the two:)_ Um, sure, bro. _(Leaves, and Darren shuts the door)_

JANE: _(Raises an eyebrow, curious:)_ Okay, what's up, Darren?

Darren simply walked up to her and looked at Jane with a slight smile on his face. He put his hand on her cheek, softly caressing it. Jane looked at him, dumbfounded, her heart racing.

DARREN: _(In a soft tone:)_ Nothing--I just wanted to get you alone to do _this_.

Darren leaned over and kissed Jane _deeply_, putting his arms around her waist and pulling her up to him, then after a second, Jane began to put her arms around his neck. Unlike the _second_ kiss, in which Jane initiated, (the first one was a total surprise, remember) and then Darren had followed her lead. _This_ time it was _Darren_ who took the lead. After about a _minute_, the two stopped the kissing.

JANE: _(Clearly swept off of her feet, her voice **squeaking**, looking up at Darren and hugging him around his waist:)_ Not that I'm _complaining_, because I'm _not_--oh _hell_ no, I'm not, but what was that rather _passionate_ kiss for?

DARREN: _(Smiles:)_ Because I find myself beginning to _care_ about you, Jane Lane--don't you _forget_ that. I'll talk to you after I come back with Quinn from _Cashman's. (Kisses her lightly on the lips, then speaks to her softly:)_ See you. _(Leaves)_

Darren came out to his car with a _wide_ grin on his face, something that Quinn immediately took note of. From all of her dates, she knew of _that_ look, and sighed. Her brother _really_ liked Jane, and she the _same_ about him--as much as she did not like it, she'd _have_ to _accept_ it--more for _Darren's_ sake than Jane's. As Darren got in the car, something on Darren's _mouth_ garnered her attention, and she smirked.

QUINN: Um, _Darren_?

DARREN: _(Looking forward dreamily:) Umm-hmm_?

QUINN: _(Sounding in a "matter-of-fact" tone:)_ You've got _lipstick_ on your mouth.

DARREN: _(Snaps out of his dream-state:) Eh_? _(Touches his mouth lightly, looks at his fingers and sees Jane's lipstick, turns red, and then wipes it off **furiously**:) Ohuhthankssis. (Quickly starts up car, and backs out of the driveway)_

Quinn stared at her brother for a second, then _giggled_. Darren _glared_ at her for a moment, then he slowly broke out into a _grin_.

Jane could only stare at the door with a _dreamy_ look on her face, having not moved an _inch_ since Darren left.

Daria had come out of her room, looked down directly to the front door, and happened to _witness_ the kiss near the end. She stared at the exchange _wide-eyed_, and simply said nothing, and was about to go back to her room after she saw Darren left, when she noticed that Jane kept standing there, with that _"I'm-in-heaven-and-I've-got-a-**goofy**-look-because-I've-been-kissed"_ look on her face. After about _another_ minute, in which Daria found herself looking _fasinated_ at her friend's seemingly _rigor mortis_ type of state, Daria slowly went down the stairs, came up to her best friend, and reluctantly waved her hand in front of Jane's blank-dreamy state face. Daria sighed, and pulled Jane up to her room. Jane blindly followed, still with the _same_ look.

Daria carefully sat a still-entranced Jane on Daria's bed, stared at her a second more, thought for the slightest moment to get a _paper bag_ and _pop_ it close to Jane's ear, then sighed, and started to _snap_ her fingers rapidly. It took about _15_ seconds before Jane finally came out of her stupor. Jane blinked, and looked at Daria.

JANE: Oh--uh, _yo_, Daria! _(Looks around:)_ How in the _hell_ did I get into your _room_?

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ I _retrieved_ you from the _"Land of Dreamville"_ while you were _"admiring the scenery". (Jane blushes)_ Looks like you and my bro were _"Doin' The Nasty"._

JANE: _(Laughs weakly, looks sheepish:)_ Yeah, I-I guess we _were_, huh? _(Pauses:)_ Uh, I don't know _what_ got into Darren like that, _(adds in a low voice, smirks sinisterly:)_ but I kinda _liked_ it.

DARIA: _(Shows a small smile, not quite Mona Lisa:)_ I'm _sure_ you did, _"Ms. Carnality"_.

JANE: _(Looks off again:) Yeah. (Changes her tone, becomes hesitant:)_ Oh--I meant--to tell you--_Tom_ just came by.

DARIA: _(Cocks an eyebrow:) Tom_? And he _saw_ you guys together? _(Jane nods) Damn_. What happened?

JANE: Tom came to _thank_ you for trying to keep me and him _together_ before finishing up his vacation. _(Daria looks slightly concerned)_ Now don't go and get your _dandruff_ up and everything--the conversation was civil between all parties, _(narrows her eyes:)_ although I thought I detected an _ever_ so-slight tone of _hostility_ from Tom. _(Adds, sighs:)_ He also thanked Darren for saving my life.

DARIA: _Oh_--I have to admit, _that_ was big of him. I guess if I saw my _former_ girlfriend that I just broke up with another guy, _I'd_ be a little _peeved_ myself. _(Jane arches her eyebrow, which Daria notices, and smirks:)_ Hey, now it's _my_ turn to say to you not to get _your_ dandruff up. _(Pauses:)_ Um--are you _sure_ everything's okay with what happened downstairs?

JANE: _(Ponders:)_ Yeah--I think so. Darren went _after_ Tom to talk to him, and I watched--_(waits for Daria's reaction:)_ and _nothing_ happened.

DARIA: _(Sighs in relief:)_ Good--although potentially _fasinating_, I don't think _blood_ would look too _appealing_ all over our driveway--suffice it to say, _Tom's_, with my bro knowing martial arts, and all.

Jane smiled at Daria weakly, looked up, and sighed. Daria looked at Jane, perplexed.

DARIA: Okay, what's _wrong_, Jane?

JANE: _(Looks pointedly at Daria:) Damn it_, Daria--when are you going to let me _have_ it?

DARIA: _(With a confused frown:)_ Uh--have _what_?

JANE: _(Gets up, walks around in a circle, her arms stretched out:)_ Releasing your _rage_ at me for _holding back_ what I really _felt_ for your brother after we kissed in the Zen, _that's_ what! Why do I feel that you wanna _tell_ me something?

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Ah, you think I'm going to go _after_ you because of that?

JANE: _(Looks at Daria uneasily:)_ Uh--_yeah_--?

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ Jane, if that were the case, I would've _said_ something by now. Besides, Darren had said the _same_ thing concerning _my_ feelings about you two to _me_, more or less. I told Darren it was all right with me, and it was _no_ problem, so _stop_ worrying.

JANE: _(Sounding pleased, wipes her forehead:) Great_! I'm glad everything's cool.

DARIA: _(Smirks:) Not_ quite.

JANE: _(Now confused:)_ Huh?

DARIA: _(Points down:)_ You know I think your paintings are _cool_, but what, pray tell, was the deal with that _"fuzzy-wuzzy"_ pro-family _crap_ that you painted downstairs that's hanging up in the living room? I know you said it was a _gift_, but why'd you have to paint me with my arm _hooking_ Darren's? _(Daria pauses, shrugs--Jane can tell that Daria's not **too** serious in her tone:)_ Why even paint _me_ at all?

JANE: _(Smirks, in her "motherly" tone:) Now, now, dearie--(resumes her normal tone:)_ I had to get in _good_ with your folks over Darren, right? I had to swallow my _pride_ to do that, and so I wanted to project the image of a _family_--and low and behold, it _worked_! _(Daria rolls her eyes, while Jane gets a wicked smirk, and speaks in a faux-mocking tone)_ C'mon--you're gonna tell me that you _didn't_ like to be seen beside a brother that's told you he's _proud_ of his _"Little Sister"_?

DARIA: _(Narrows her eyes, reluctant:)_ Oh, no you _don't_--you're _not_ going to hit my _soft_ spot over Darren--I mean, I have a _hard-boiled_ reputation, and I can't afford to get _weak-kneed_ and _jelly-backed_ over a fellow sibling--

JANE: _(Cuts her off, sensing something:)_ --A fellow sibling that's willing to _be_ there for his middle sister, who's willing to help both of his sisters in their future endeavors. A _genuinely_ nice guy--

DARIA: _(Holds up her hands:)_ --Ease up there, _"Booster Girl"_, I get the _point. (Pauses:)_ Okay, I gotta admit, Darren's a--_teriffic_ bro. He sort of --has this--_soothing_ effect on people. _(Hesitates, her voice grows **very** low, looks around, leans over to Jane:)_ Did you know that when I first told him when you and Tom officially broke up, that I--I--almost--

JANE: _(Leans over to Daria, listens intently:) Yeeess--_?

DARIA: _(Now almost in a whisper, red-faced:) --ItriedtocomforthimbecausehefeltkindofguiltyforthinkinghebrokeyouandTomup._

Jane stared at Daria, slack-jawed, then she began to giggle--_loudly_. Daria gave her a _piercing_ glare.

JANE: _(Covers her mouth, still giggles:) You_ tried to _comfort_ Darren? _(Playfully sneers:)_ Ohhh, that's _soooo_ cute--does this mean that you're going to _join_ the rest of the human race?

DARIA: _(Deadpan, frowns:)_ I suppose so--it's too bad that _you're_ going to have to _leave_ the rest of the human race after I _choke the crap_ out of you. _(She starts to put her hands around Jane's neck, but Jane jumps back, still laughing)_

JANE: _(Puts her left hand up to Daria while wiping her eyes with her right hand, and getting her laughter under control:)_ H-hold it, pard. Seriously, I think it's _great_ that you did that--especially since _I_ was the one that _created_ the kissing situation in the _first_ place. Hell, he's your _brother_, Daria. I do that with _Trent_--it's one of the _fringe benefits_ of having an older brother who's there for you, so relax, and _enjoy_ it.

DARIA: _(Now back to normal, gives a Mona Lisa smile:)_ Yeah--he has been there for me--and _Quinn_ as well. Maybe that's what made her feel _guilty_ over trying to take advantage of Darren.

JANE: _(Shakes her head quickly, makes sure she heard Daria right:)_ Wait a sec--you said Quinn was _trying_ to take advantage of Darren, and she felt _guilty_, but they've _still_ gone to _Cashman's_ to get her a dress, courtesy of Darren, despite Helen trying to _stop_ them, and Darren _insisting_ that he do so anyway? _(Pauses:)_ What's going on?

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Sit down, and I'll explain--

_(The scene is Cashman's, about an hour later)_

Darren sat _slumped_ in a chair, exhausted and bored, while Quinn went through what seemed like a _ton_ of dresses. He simply watched her go into the dressing room in the back to try on yet _another_ dress for him to see if he liked. To Darren, a dress was a dress, even if his (adopted) mother did head Circa Fashions--he was only familiar with the _business_ end of the industry, and had left the design details for the experts. He sighed and looked at his watch. _Theresa_, the saleswoman who had noticed him the very moment he came in with Quinn, and had _personally_ decided to handle the sale, (much to the chagrin of the other salesladies who wanted to do so, and had stolen glances at Darren when they figured he wasn't looking) came to him with a tray of cookies and tea. She had a _dreamy_ look on her face. Darren caught her look, and _groaned_ to himself--_here we go again._

THERESA: _(Smiles:)_ I thought you looked kind of tired, Darren, so I got this tray of cookies and tea for you. We usually do this for our customers, you understand. _(Sits down the tray, stares at him:)_ Do you need anything _else_? _(Thought v.o.: Maybe my **phone number**?)_

DARREN: _(Looks up at her uneasily, smiling, while making the tea:)_ Uh, no thank you, but if I do, I'll be sure to call you, Theresa.

THERESA: Okay, Darren--be sure to let me know. I'll see if Quinn needs any help. _(Leaves reluctantly)_

Darren sighed, and munched on a cookie while watching the dressing room. _Come on, sis--**pleeease** let this be the dress you want, because I can feel myself **slowly** going **insane**._ He thought about Jane again to pass the time. Why _did_ he kiss her like that? Was it perhaps to _reassure_ her that he cared about her after Tom wanted to make sure that Darren would take _care_ of Jane? Maybe he did it out of some sort of _relief_ after Tom _himself_ told Darren that Darren should not feel guilty for liking Jane? Perhaps it was a little of _both_? Whatever the case, Darren felt _alive_ for the first time in a long while, considering everything that had happened to him in almost the last three months. His birth family. Jane. Things were _finally_ looking up.

Then he _frowned_ to himself--_no they weren't, not at all._ There was still the matter of _Sanchez_, and what he had done, and of _"The Lie"_ he was giving to Daria, the rest of his birth family, and Jane. This had to stop _soon_. Curtis had already told him that the _media_ were looking for him, the same for Elenor and Claude, and his _uncle William_. Sooner or later, the media horde would _find_ him, and the secret would be out--what would Jane and the Morgendorffers think _then_ if he did not tell them first? He decided to call Woo tomorrow morning and see if he found anything, for this--this--_"waiting"_ was eating him up from the inside out. He snapped out of his thoughts when a smiling Quinn walked out in a frilly gold silk dress with Theresa. Darren's heart leapt with hope--was this _finally_ the one? He got up and walked over, grinning uneasily.

DARREN: _(In a faux-excited mode:)_ So, er, Quinn--is this the dress you want? It certainly looks _fabulous_ on you--_(adds out of hope that his next remark will convince Quinn:)_ I think that the gold really brings out the _cuteness_ in your eyes.

QUINN: _(Gasps, delighted:)_ You _DO_, Darren? _(Looks at Theresa:)_ This is _definitely_ the dress that I want, Theresa. Wrap it up for me, would you?

THERESA: _(Grins:)_ Very good, Quinn. _(Looks to Darren:)_ Will that be cash or charge?

Darren suddenly _froze_. He certainly could use his _Northolt Platinum Card_, but he chuckled to himself--seeing the name of _"Darren Appleton"_ on his card for the saleslady would obviously expose _everything_. Nope, _cash_ would be the way to go.

DARREN: _(Reaches for his wallet:)_ Er--cash. How much is it?

THERESA: _$800_.

DARREN: _(Wide-eyed:) EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS_?! _(Looks down at Quinn:)_ Quinn, she said _$800_!

QUINN: _(With a smile, singy-songy voice:) Daaaaren_! It's a Circa _Original_! Once I show it to the Fashion Club, they'll be _so_ envious! _(Pauses when she sees Darren's uncertain reaction, smirks slightly:)_ Of, course, if you want me to go _back_ and look for something _else--(begins to go back)_

DARREN: _NO_! I mean--no, that's all right, Quinn--I'll--_buy_ the dress. _(Looks in his wallet, has only $200 on hand:)_ Er, is there an _ATM_ machine around--?

THERESA: Oh, yes, Darren--in the front of the store, right where you came in.

DARREN: Oh yes--now I remember. Thank you, Theresa. I'll be back, Quinn. _(Leaves)_

Darren walked up to the ATM and after looking around quickly, put his card in and punched the "withdraw" button. He came back with the cash, and purchased the dress, much to Quinn's delight. Both walked out of _Cashman's_ and went back to Darren's car. After getting in, Quinn looked over at her brother.

QUINN: _(Smiles, in a quiet tone:)_ Thanks, bro. _(Reaches over and kisses him on the cheek:)_ You're _everything_ a sister can hope to have in a brother.

DARREN: _(Looks over to Quinn, grins uneasily:)_ You're welcome, sis--I hope you take _good_ care of that dress.

QUINN: _(Waves him off:)_ Nah, don't worry, Darren--I'll be the freakin' _envy_ of everyone at _Chez Pierre_ tonight, and I wanna look my best, so you better believe I'm gonna take care of my dress--_count on it._

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ I guess you will. _(Starts up the car)_

Darren and Quinn arrived back at the Morgendorffers just in time to start getting ready for their "date". In the meantime, Daria and Jane had talked to Darren as he was getting ready as well, trying to get out of him the _price_ of the dress after seeing Quinn show it to Helen and Jake--just out of _curiousity_. Darren gave a coy smile, and simply told them to ask _Quinn_--it was a _secret_ between the two. Daria had been tempted to ask Jane to help her to _tie up_ Darren and _force_ the truth out of him, but upon further thought, she figured that would probably _please_ Jane and her wickedly _carnal_ mind. Ah, it could wait 'till later. Darren came down the stairs dressed in his black dress jacket, tan shirt, and black tie and matching pants, with pointed dress shoes. Daria and Jane were sitting on the middle couch watching _Sick, Sad World_ on the main TV in the living room, while Jake was reading the paper and Helen was working on her cases for her return to work tomorrow. Immediately, Jane saw him come down, and looked at him, smirking _wickedly_. He was _handsome. Very_ handsome--_and he's **my** boyfriend._ Even _Daria_ had to admit her brother looked good--though of course, she'd _never_ admit it out loud. Helen gasped, and looked up from her work, and got off the couch. Jake got up, following Helen. Daria and Jane got up as well. They all gathered around him.

HELEN: _(Hugs Darren:)_ Oh, son--you look wonderful!

JAKE: _(Shakes Darren's hand:)_ Looking good, Big Guy!

DARIA: _(Monotone:)_ You look _nice_, bro.

JANE: _(Walks up to him, still with that wicked smirk, feels his lapel:) Ummm--baby_. You _do_ look _fine. (Darren, Jake, and Helen turn red-faced, while Daria rolls her eyes)_

DARREN: _(Smirks at Jane, then looks around:)_ Thanks, everyone. _(Pauses:)_ Is _Quinn_ ready, yet?

As if on cue, Quinn came down the stairs in her gold dress, with matching gold slippers, a gold purse, and elbow-length black gloves. Her make-up was added just enough to give her a radiant look. (Her hairstyle was simliar to the one she had in the episode "Just Add Water") She came down in a deliberate, slow walk, stopping dramatically at the bottom of the stairs. Daria and Jane looked at each other and rolled their eyes. They knew that Quinn was _eating up_ this attention, and _loving_ every minute of it. Still, even both had to admit that _"Princess Grace"_ was _beautiful_--in a _sickenly cute_ sort of way. Privately, Jane found herself actually _grateful_ that Quinn _was_ Darren's sister--otherwise, they would make a _dynamite_ couple. Darren and the others walked up to Quinn.

HELEN: Oh, Quinn, you look lovely! _(Tries to hug Quinn)_

QUINN: _(Flinches:) Muh--oom_! I've got make-up an' stuff on me, you know?

HELEN: _(Chuckles:)_ I know, but I'm still proud of the way you look!

JAKE: _(Smiles:)_ My little girl! _(Thinks about hugging her, but decides against it after seeing what Helen went through)_

DARREN: _(Speechless:) Quinn_? Is that really _you_? _(Quinn giggles)_ You're _stunning_!

QUINN: _(Now smug:)_ Yeah, I _know_!

JANE: _(Crosses her arms, feels **slightly** jealous:)_ Yeah, you do look like a gold _bar_, or something. _(Quinn frowns slightly, while Darren chuckles)_

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Careful, sis--you don't want to _blind_ everyone with that shiny gold dress in the restaurant--I mean even the waiters there have to earn a living with their _fake_ French accents, and falling over from the _glare_ of your dress in the lights and spilling their contents on other people won't make their job any easier. _(Quinn glares at her)_

HELEN: _(With "The Look":) Daria--_

DARIA: _(Gets the message, deadpan:)_ Eh, you look like a _million_ bucks, sis.

QUINN: _(After a second, grudgingly accepts:)_ Thanks, Daria. _(Looks at Darren:)_ Ready to go, bro?

DARREN: If you are, yes.

Everyone went to the door, and Quinn went out to the car. Darren was about to go, when Jake suddenly pulled him aside.

JAKE: _(Puts something in his hand:)_ Son, here's some _money_ for something to buy--_Chez Pierre_ is _awfully_ expensive.

DARREN: _(Looks down in his hand:)_ Oh, no, that's--

JAKE: _(Insistant:)_ --Now, son--I'm not gonna take no for an answer--show your sister a good time, okay? Don't worry about the time about coming back--I know that you'll _protect_ Quinn.

DARREN: _(Shrugs, pockets the money:)_ Well--sure, okay. _(Goes to his car, and opens the door for Quinn, who gets in:)_ Well, I'll see you all. Jane, I'll call you tomorrow morning, and we can go jogging.

JANE: _(Smiles:)_ Okay, Darren--you two have a good time.

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Just don't let Quinn order the _whole_ menu--she'll try out _everything_ under the sun.

QUINN: _(Looks out her passenger-side window, frowns:) Daria_! That only happened _once_, and you're _never_ gonna let me forget it!

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Isn't that what sisters are _for_?

HELEN: Daria, that's quite enough. Have a good time, you two.

DARREN: We will. See you. _(Starts up the car, and backs out into the street, leaves)_

Helen and Jake went back inside, while Daria and Jane stayed outside.

JANE: Well, I'd better take off--it's getting dark.

DARIA: _(Cocks eyebrow:)_ What? No _"Bad Movie Night"_ tonight?

JANE: _(Grins:)_ Nah--gonna do some painting. _(Wiggles her eyebrows up an down, smirks:)_ I'm--_"inspired"_ some more.

DARIA: _(Smirks, sarcastic:)_ Gosh, I wonder _who_ caused that? Okay--see you tomorrow--Darren and I can fill you in on the assorted details of Quinn's "wonderful date".

JANE: _(Chuckles:)_ Later. _(Leaves)_

Daria watched her friend leave, then walked back into the house.

_(End Part Four)_


	13. Chapter 13

"Revelations--A 'Daria' Fanfic" Part 5 By Steven Galloway SGall23241@aol.com 

_(Note to reader: We're in the **homestretch**, now! I hope you're enjoying yourself so far--remember, read this like a **book**! Now back to the story.)_

Chapter 13 - Individual Pursuits 

Daria sat up propped on her pillow in her nightclothes, writing in her diary(?).

From the "so-called" diary of one Daria Morgendorffer:

I'm writing in the morning for this entry as opposed to the evening before because I fell asleep last night while watching TV, and waiting for Darren and Quinn to come back from their "date", for I was too tired to write anything when they finally did come in. Mom and Dad had turned in for tomorrow's (or this morning's) return to the daily grind. It was about 12:30 a.m. when Quinn and Darren finally did return, and by chance, I had heard them come in, and I woke up. I was watching a movie--"The Invasion of the Incredible Shrinking Aliens", an asinine, idiotic piece of 1950's Cold War-era sci-fi tripe that was on TV at the time. Usually I'm with Jane at her place for "Bad Movie Night" on Sunday evenings, but she was feeling "inspired" artistically by her new boyfriend, who happens to be my brother--I'm still getting used to that--Darren being Jane's boyfriend now, as well as Darren being mine (and Quinn's) Big Bro, and mom and dad's son. I wanted to find out if my sister had worn out my poor Big Bro, and if the date had become a disaster for Quinn while they were at the "phoney-baloney" French cusine garbage restaurant "Chez Pierre"--I could only hope it fell flat for "Queen Quinn"--after all, causing bad things to happen to Quinn is one of the joys of my hellish existence. As they came upstairs, I looked out into the hallway seeing Quinn hugging and kissing Darren on the cheek, thanking him for a good time. I motioned Darren to come to my room, while "Her Highness" had retired for the night, alarmingly with a smile on her face. Crap--I had a feeling that this wasn't going to be good news.

My fears were well-founded. Darren told me the moment he and Quinn went into Chez Pierre arm-in-arm, they became the center of attention. When they sat down at what I call "Quinn's Table", (the reserved table where Quinn always sat with her dates--I overheard her mention it once to her fashion "colleagues") several waiters immediately tried to serve them, and a fight almost occurred between the waiters. Darren said Quinn asked them to stop while she was giggling--ah, that's our Quinn--she's getting back into the groove, what, with all those drooling idiots falling all over her like that. Too bad it wasn't an anvil that could've fallen on her instead.

Things only grew worse from there--from my point of view, that is. Darren said several guys that Quinn apparently knew (he told me she must have, because she had said all of their names), had come over to their table and had asked Darren if he would give them "permission" to date Quinn. Needless to say, a stunned Big Bro looked over at a smiling Quinn, who was the one that gave the "yes" nod, and there was a loud cheer from the guys--oh well, look for the "Boy Express" to return to our house by tonight--much to my consternation. Of course, the girls who were with the guys didn't like that one iota, but their fears were immediately lost when they first eyed my brother, for they started to swoon over him. Darren quickly said that he already had a girlfriend, and that he was only taking his sister Quinn out to just "hang out" together--too bad he couldn't hang Quinn while he was out. The disappointed girls, furious that they could be dumped for Quinn by their dates, while they couldn't score with my Big Bro, turned their anger out on their dates, and promptly chased out and beat their guys from Chez Pierre--after the manager made them come back and pay, of course.

Darren told me he ordered the meal in French, since it was a French restaurant--simple enough. When I think of it, it's not much of a surprise, since Darren's major is Business Administration, and he'd need to know a foriegn language or two for travelling to other countries while on business. Too bad the fake-accent waiters didn't know what in the hell he was saying, so he changed it to English, and ordered "Escalope De Veau"--French for scallops. Quinn, meanwhile, ordered the most expensive item on the menu--(surprise, surprise) "Medaillons De Bceuf Bearnaise"--beef with yellow sauce. I hope that extra money that I saw dad slip to Darren came in handy. Darren told me they talked about the Fashion Institute, and Quinn actually was listening to what he had to say--the only problem I saw with that was if what came out of Darren's mouth just didn't go into my dear sister's hollow little head, bounced around in there for awhile, then came right out again. Sure, I think Quinn's actually beginning to understand what she's going have to do with her life once high school is over and even that she's starting to actually get serious about her schoolwork, but do I really think she'd listen to Darren while enjoying herself? I dunno. Darren is ever the optimist--maybe I can break him of that particularly nasty habit--if I can't, then maybe Jane can.

Anyway, afterwards, he and Quinn went to a movie, a sudden last-minute "addition" that Quinn conned our Big Bro out of--it was the Tom Hanks movie "The Green Mile", a three hour-plus film. Maybe sis is beginning to have some taste in "deep" movies--either that, or she just wants to "die" when she sees Hanks on the big screen--at least that what she squeals about with her fellow fashion dunces when she has them over for one of their regular air-headed fashion sessions. Darren said that Quinn cried through some of the picture--now if I can only get her to cry when I threaten to torch her clothes one day in front of her "so-called" fashion friends, I can die in peace.

Overall, I suppose it was good for Quinn to get out and be with Darren--I get my turn today when he comes back from jogging with Jane this morning. I think a trip to the arcade is in order, plus a pizza, and then the library--I wonder if Jane would want to go with us? It'll be good to be with her again after she took her "bonding" vacation with her mom. Darren looked happy for Quinn's having a good time when he came back with her--but for some reason, I can't shake the fact that something's bugging him. He looked kind of distracted when he left my room last night--I asked if something was wrong, and he quickly played it off. I guess he's probably thinking about what he did with Jane yesterday--I guess I can't blame him--that was one hell of a kiss he gave her. Damn it--I'm happy for them, but why do I see when they get together, it seems like it reminds me of what it could've been with me and Trent, or even--T--no, I'd best not even attempt to go through that, even if he is "free" now. As for Trent,I'm largely over my crush on him--but I still get a damn small lump in my chest when I think about him once in awhile, though I'm sure I'm completely over him--even though Jane's occasional lapses into the yenta realm certainly doesn't help matters too much either. When she was with--Tom, she cut waaay back on her little love-matching schemes--hmmm, I wonder if she's going to try and influence Big Bro on matching up me and Trent? I shudder at that thought. Maybe I should address the little issue over Trent sometime in the future before Jane does something that will embarass me and her brother--and possibly in a way, Darren as well. At least Trent seems to finally be going in the right direction with his music career by actually moving forward on it--thanks to that "Mysterious Benefactor's" $8,000 contribution--I wonder who he or she is? What do they want from Trent and Mystik Spiral? Surely there's gotta be a catch? Ah--maybe Darren's right--maybe he or she just want to see the group succeed. Hell, I suppose anything's possible. Signing off to another hell-filled day--well, at least Big Bro and Jane are there to help share it with me.

Daria smirked, and put her diary(?) and pen back into her strongbox, and locked it. After putting it back into her closet and placing her glasses on her dresser drawer, she shuffled over to her bed, and plopped down face-first in her pillow. The moment she began to snore lightly, there was a gentle knocking on her door. Daria flinched slightly while staying face-down.

VOICE: _(While knocking:)_ Daria, hello, Daria! Are you awake?

DARIA: _(Sounding muffled in her pillow:)_ If I wasn't then, I am _now. (Pauses:)_ Is this _20_ questions? If so, the answer from 1 to 20 is a resounding _no_.

_Helen_ walked in, leaving the door open, dressed in her red power suit. She came over to Daria's bed and stood beside it, placing her hands on her hips. Daria stayed in her face-down position while Helen talked.

HELEN: Daria, your father and I are about to leave for work. We're going to need you to go downstairs and let Darren in when he comes back from jogging, sweetie--_(smirks:)_ unless you want to get up from your _"comfortable"_ bed and go downstairs when you hear the doorbell ring.

DARIA: _(Now turns over to look at her mother, props her head on her right hand, leans on her right elbow, sighs:)_ Didn't dad say that he was gonna get a _key_ for Darren this weekend?

HELEN: _(Sighs herself, exasperated:) Yes_, but you know how your father's memory can _slip_ from time to time--

_Jake_, dressed for work in his usual business suit, walked by Daria's door at the _very_ instant Helen had uttered that statement, and walked in, frowning--was she _implying_ that he was growing _old_?

JAKE: _Honey_! _(Points at his head:)_ My memory's as sharp as a _tack_! I don't remember you telling me about our son needing a darn key!

HELEN: _(Glares at Jake, talks through clenched teeth:)_ I most certainly _did_ tell you, Jake! It was this past Friday! I _distinctly_ asked you to get a key for Darren while you were out on vacation!

JAKE: _(Glares back at Helen:)_ No, you didn't! You said that Darren _might_ need a key! You didn't say so for _sure_! _(Smug, crosses his arms, thinks he has one over Helen for a change:) Ha_!

HELEN: _(Stares at Jake in mild disbelief, arms spread out:)_ What in the _hell_ is the _damn_ difference, Jake?! It's the _same_ thing!

JAKE: _(Raises his voice:)_ No, it _isn't_!

HELEN: _(Her voice now raising also:)_ Yes, it _is_!

JAKE: _(Draws his face closer to Helen's:) Is NOT_!

HELEN: _(Ditto:) Is TOO_!

Daria went back down on her bed face first and put her pillow over her head to try and block out the shouting. Bad enough that they were hollering in the middle of her _"inner sanctum"_ with her _in_ it, but to make matters worse, her parents were arguing like a couple of _children_ over a _stupid_ little key. This was _not_ happening--things could not _possibly_ get any worse.

Of course, she was _wrong_. A clearly-not-appearing-like-herself, tired-looking and frowning, frazzled _Quinn_, dressed in her nightclothes, came from the hallway into Daria's room, and shouted:

QUINN: _MUH--OOM! DA--AAD! YOU GUYS **KNOW** THAT I NEED MY **DAMN** BEAUTY SLEEP! IF I DON'T GET IT, I'LL GET **WRINKLES**! I MEAN, WE'VE LIKE GONE OVER THIS A **MILLION** TIMES ALREADY! WHY DON'T YOU TWO TAKE THE FREAKIN' ARGUMENT DOWNSTAIRS, OKAY?! (Leaves to go back to her room)_

A stunned Helen and Jake looked at each other, and then at Daria, who had come out from under the pillow during Quinn's tirade, also stunned as well. After a tense moment, Jake spoke in a sheepish, quiet tone:

JAKE: Er, I'll get the key during lunch--I promise. _(Adds after a moment:) Sorry_ about shouting at you, honey.

HELEN: _(In the same tone:)_ It's--all right, Jakey--and I'm sorry I shouted at you, too. _(Looks at Daria:)_ We're sorry for coming in your room and shouting like that, sweetie.

JAKE: Yeah, Kiddo--it won't happen again. _(Looks around, now his chipper, lovable, clueless self:) Wow_! What have you done to your _room_, Daria? It looks like it's been _redecorated_!

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ It's _always_ been like that, Dad. _(Thought v.o.: You just haven't noticed because you visit in here every **six months** or so.)_

HELEN: _(Pulls Jake along by the arm:)_ Come _on_, Jake--we've got to get to work. Goodbye, sweetie. _(Both leave Daria's room, shutting the door)_

Daria got off her bed, retrieved her glasses off of the dresser drawer and put them on, went back to her closet, and took out the strongbox that contained her diary(?). She unlocked the strongbox, took out the diary(?), opening it up to the entry she had just completed, and laid it on the bed. She took the pen and crossed _out_ the part about an "anvil" falling on Quinn.

DARIA: _(With a Mona Lisa smile, thought v.o.: **There**. I figured I owed Quinn for getting mom and dad out of my room--now we're **"even"**.) (Puts diary[?] back into the strongbox and locks it, and places it back into her closet.)(Thought v.o.: All of that damn shouting's got me **fully** awake now--might as well stay up and wait for Darren to come back.) (Goes out of her room)_

_(Scene changes to a street outside in the early-morning light)_

Darren and Jane were jogging together near the Gupty's house on their way back, and had stopped to stretch, having been out for about an hour. During that time, Darren had told Jane about his "date" with Quinn. Jane simply shook her head at the events he described, and chuckled.

JANE: _(Smirks while stretching:)_ So Quinn's back in the _"boy-getting business"_, eh?

DARREN: _(Smiles, doing the same:)_ If you mean by having the boys _"catering to her whims"_, I'd say yes. She's promised me, however, that she'll keep the number of boys that she'll date down to a minimum of _three_ a week. _(Shrugs, smiles sheepishly, while Jane arches an eyebrow at this, and smirks:)_ Yeah, yeah, I know--but it's a _start_. At least she's happy again, I guess.

JANE: I guess. _(Her smirk slowly fades, hesitates:)_ So, um--you said that those girls at _Chez Pierre "crowded"_ around you? _(Darren nods while taking deep breaths, and Jane stops stretching:)_ You didn't feel the least bit, uh--_attracted_ to _any_ one of them?

Darren now stopped his stretching and stared at Jane with a puzzled look on his face.

DARREN: What do you mean, Jane?

JANE: _(Looks a little uncomfortable, goes on reluctantly:)_ Well--you _are_ attractive, Darren--and from what I can recall with what happened at the Zen the other night with those Goth girls, uh, _pursuing_ you, you've had--_quite_ a few members of the opposite sex making _eyes_ at you, and--

DARREN: _(Puts up his hand:) --Wait_ a moment, Jane--_where_ is this conversation going? I thought I made it _clear_ yesterday that I really _care_ about you, and you _only. (Jane blushes slightly)_ As I told you and Daria the other night, I'm _not_ interested in _other_ girls. I've seen what happens when guys who think they're _"God's gift to women"_ go after _all_ the girls--they leave a lot of broken hearts in their wake, and it's just not _worth_ it. _(Pauses, looks uneasy:)_ Are you--are you having _second_ thoughts about us? Don't tell me that you're feeling--_insecure_--?

JANE: _(Now slightly frantic, her eyes wide-open:) NO_! I mean--_no_ way, bub! I'm _definitely_ attracted to you. I'm _secure_ with being with you! _(Goes up to Darren, speaks low, puts her hands on his sweaty chest, smiles, speaks in a low voice:)_ I'm just wondering why someone like _me_ could be so _damn_ lucky to find a nice, handsome, _honest (Darren winces to himself over **that** word)_ guy like you. _(Looks down:)_ I know that I might not look as _good_ as those other girls--_(Darren rolls his eyes, slowly shakes his head)_ wait, hear me out--I mean compared to _Quinn_ last night, if _I_ went out with you to _Chez Pierre_, not that I would want to go to a place like that, mind you--it might kind of--well--_(looks away:) drag_ you _down_, or something.

Darren tilted Jane's chin up to him and softly chuckled. Jane blushed and smiled as she looked up into his deep blue eyes.

DARREN: _(In a quiet tone, chuckles:)_ Jane, do you remember what you told Daria the other night while we were on our way to the _Zen_ about "nice-looking people" like myself? _(Jane stares at him for a moment, slowly nods in realization:)_ Good--I'm with _you_, and _not_ them. That should tell you _something. (Then, before Jane can say anything else, he kisses her, holding her around her waist, while Jane has her hands on his chest, then he stops:) Still_ harboring any doubts?

JANE: _(Gets that dreamy look again:) Uh-uh. (Shakes her head quickly to get out of the trance, changes subject:)_ So, ah, you and Daria are gonna spend some time together painting the town red when you get back home, eh?

DARREN: _(Gently caresses Jane's face:)_ Yes, though I don't know what she has planned yet.

JANE: _(Looks up, smirks:)_ Hmmm--lemme guess--knowing her, I'd say--the _arcade, pizza_, and the _library_--yeah, that about covers it.

DARREN: _(Grins, shrugs:)_ Good--I like _all_ of those places to relax and hang out. In fact, we went once to the library since I've been here.

JANE: Yeah, me too--_except_ the library. Daria loves to read there, but that's not my gig, so when she does go, I'm _not_ there, save to maybe get a book about art, or something. _(Notices Darren looking at her, curiously, cocking his head:)_ Hey, libraries _bore_ me--they're too--_(shudders:) confining_.

_(Note to reader: Is it just me, or does it seem that when Daria does go into the library, high school or local, she does so **without** Jane in tow? My opinion only, and as a result until proven different, will remain in the story.)_

DARREN: Ah, I see--_(pauses, smirks:)_ so, what do _you_ plan to do on this fine Monday?

JANE: I dunno. Maybe hang out at home and do some art, whatever. I've got nothing planned.

DARREN: Say, why don't you _join_ Daria and me? I'm sure she wouldn't mind you coming along with us.

JANE: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ Are you _sure_ about that, Darren? I wouldn't want to be a _third_ wheel, or anything.

DARREN: _(Looks at Jane with mild disbelief:) Why_ would you say that?

JANE: _(Shrugs:)_ I guess it's because since you spent time with Quinn last night, it would be only _fair_ if you did the same thing with Daria the next day.

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ Quinn's _different_--she seems to require my _complete_ attention--

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ --And everyone _else's_--

DARREN: --but Daria wouldn't mind _sharing_ me with you. Besides, you've been out of town for almost three weeks--that and the fact that she and I _have_ spent a little time together while you were on vacation. I'm sure she'd like to see her friend, too.

JANE: _(Ponders:)_ Weeeeell--_okay. (Darren smiles)_ Now, c'mon--we've got a jog to finish! _(Smirks wickedly, suddenly takes off in a full, playful run from Darren:)_ Catch me if you can, slowpoke!

DARREN: _(Grins:)_ Hey, no fair! _C'mere you--(goes after her)_

_(Scene changes to William Appleton's Park Avenue apartment)_

William Appleton, still dressed in his pajamas and housecoat, was talking on the phone while sitting at the dining room table to Benny, who had called. William was eating a continental breakfast of pancakes topped with strawberries and whipped cream, bacon and eggs, hash browns, orange juice, and coffee that was prepared by a just recently-departed special chef, whom he had hired just for such an occasion _every_ morning. William had an _intense_ look of curiousity on his face.

WILLIAM: --And you're _sure_ about this, Benny? Your source told you that the NTSB will announce that the crash we arranged will be ruled an _accident_? I thought for sure it would take _months_ for them to make such a ruling.

BENNY: Well, Boss--my source said that the investigators listened to the tape on the Black Box they recovered from the crash site, and decided by hearing the _frantic_ conversation between the pilots and what they did to try and keep the jet from crashing, that a busted fuel line was the cause, _period_. The evidence was _overwhelming_. They'll announce it this morning at the Peerdale Hotel downtown. _(Voice becomes excited:)_ We're _home free_, Boss!

WILLIAM: _(Rolls his eyes, frowns, grits his teeth, and shouts:)_ Benny, you _moron_, we're not off the hook yet! _(Calms down:)_ We've still got to locate _Sanchez_, who I'm assuming will be calling you after the NTSB's findings, and asking for the second part of his _"fee"_.

BENNY: Hey, that's _right_! _(William slowly shakes his head, privately wondering if Benny has **any** brain in his head)_ I guess I should be waiting by the phone at work when he does. _(Pauses:)_ What about your _"nephew"_? With Constance Waters going _bon voyage_ to Japan, and now this--

WILLIAM: _(Cuts him off:)_ --As I _told_ you, Benny--we'll do _nothing_ until and unless we know for a _certainty_ that he suspects _me_ of being involved with his _"parent's"_ deaths, _(pauses:)_ and in a possible _connection_ to that, we hear what _Woo's_ been up to, don't forget that either. You just make sure that our man we have for Darren is ready at the _moment_ we need him, got that? I'll meet you at work in an hour. _(Curtly hangs up the phone, stares out of the window at the Manhattan skyline, frowning, thought v.o.: **Soon**, my "nephew"--very soon, I'll take care of you once and for all. You'll end up in the **ground** like your "parents", and I'll **"rule the roost"** like I **deserve** to.)_

_(Scene changes to the Morgendorffer's, about 30 minutes later)_

Daria, who had been watching the morning news on the small TV in the kitchen and was now dressed in her customary attire, opened the front door to allow Darren in.

DARREN: _(While coming in:)_ Thanks, sis.

DARIA: No prob, bro. How was your jog with Jane? _(Goes back to the kitchen, followed by Darren)_

DARREN: _(Smiles:)_ It was--_pleasant. (Daria arches an eyebrow at the way he says it)_ We really covered a lot of ground.

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ I'll just _bet_ you guys did. _(Darren turns red-faced, looks away uneasily, slightly embarassed)_ Will you be ready to go with me about 10:00 this morning? That's when the _Mr. Fun's Exciting World of Games_ arcade will be open.

_(Note to reader: This was what Lawndale's main arcade hangout was called--see the episode "The New Kid", and in "The Daria Database"--though in the book, Daria writes it as "Mr. Fun's World of Games")_

DARREN: _(Thought v.o.: So Jane **was** right on the money! No surprise there, I suppose, she being Daria's friend and all:)_ The arcade you say? Sure, I'll be ready then. _(Sees TV on:)_ Is the morning news on yet?

DARIA: Nope--it'll be on in about a minute, or so.

DARREN: Good. Oh, I wanted to ask if it was all right if _Jane_ came along with us. _(Hesitates, looks at Daria a little uneasily:)_ Would that be all right with you?

DARIA: _(While pouring some cereal in a bowl on the bar counter in the kitchen, and while Darren gets another bowl and puts it beside Daria's:)_ Sure. _(Stops, cocks an eyebrow:)_ Um--why _wouldn't_ it be all right with me?

DARREN: _(Shrugs while getting the box of cereal from Daria, who's getting the milk out of the refrigerator:)_ Well--for _some_ reason, Jane seemed to think that you'd feel that she would be getting in the _way_ of us having a good time together. I told her that you and I had spent some time with each other while she was on vacation, and that you'd want to see her, since she's your friend. _(Pauses:)_ Er--did I kind of _"jump the gun"_, there?

DARIA: _(After a moment:)_ I--_appreciate_ that, bro--and no, what you said was cool--_(now surprised:)_ Jane actually _said_ that? _(Pours milk on her cereal:)_ Why in the _hell_ would she think such a thing? _(Gives milk to Darren)_

DARREN: _(Pauses, frowns, perplexed:)_ Now when I think about it, maybe _she's_ thinking that since she and I are now seeing each other, it might make you feel like--well, she was intruding on your and my time together.

DARIA: _(Sits down and eats at the kitchen bar with Darren:)_ That's _nuts_--Jane's my friend. _(Pauses:)_ Maybe she's thinking it would be like the way I was when she first met Tom. I was a real pain in the _ass_ to him because--_(hesitates:)_ I felt he was _taking_ Jane's time away from me. Jane felt that she had became caught in the middle of our little _"tug-of-war"_. Eventually, Tom and I came to an--_(hesitates:) understanding_, and all was right with the world--I had to get used to the fact that my _"Partner In Crime"_ had a boyfriend, and she'd want to spend some of her time with him too. In a way, it's _ironic_--irony being something that I'm supposed to _appreciate_ now, mind you--_(Darren chuckles)_ I had just gotten _used_ to Tom, and then _this_ happens--go figure. _(Smirks, pauses:)_ I guess I'll have to get used to it _again_, huh?

Darren gave a serious stare at Daria for a moment, then put down his spoon. Daria stopped eating and stared back at him, wondering what was up.

DARREN: _(In a sincere tone:)_ Daria, I hope that you'll _never_ feel that Jane and I would take any time _away_ from you. _(Pauses:)_ If you _ever_ feel that way, _please_ let us know, okay? I don't want there to be any _problem_ that might arise between any of us over something like this. _(Reaches over and absentmindedly puts a reassuring hand on a now-surprised Daria's hand, which makes her **freeze** and look at it, then Darren suddenly notices what he's done, and **snatches** his hand away, looks at it with his eyes **wide** open:) Daria_, oh, er--

DARIA: _(Recovers quickly from her shock, becomes reassuring:)_ --I--um--it's--_okay_, bro. I'm--not used to, you know--_contact. (Thought v.o.: Though I **initiated** it the other night when you felt guilty about thinking you unwittingly helped break up Tom and Jane when she kissed you in the Zen--**damn** conscience.) (Gives a rare, small chuckle:)_ I'm not _fragile_, you know--I won't _break_.

DARREN: _(Gives his own, uneasy chuckle:)_ N-no, o-of course not. _(Looks at the TV to ease the tension and change the subject:)_ Hey, the morning news is coming on.

DARIA: _(Follows his lead:)_ Um--yeah--let's see if the _missiles_ have been _released_ yet. _(Darren snickers)_

The morning news opened with the snazzy, important-sounding music, then a a perky-looking man and woman was on camera at the Channel Four morning news set, with the _fake_ living room background. Both did those _annoyingly_ cliched greetings to one another (to Daria it was like that, at least), and then faced the camera, smiling those _forced_ smiles.

TV ANCHORWOMAN: --And good morning, everyone, welcome to _Morningtime. (A picture of the Appleton Industries logo appears in the upper left corner of the screen)_ In a surprising late-breaking story, we've just received some information from our newsources that the National Transportation Safety Board will be announcing their findings concerning the crash of the private jet that carried the late Lucille and Arthur Appleton Sr., the parents of Arthur Appleton Jr., who has not been seen since the funeral of his parents. _(Darren's eyes grow wide in shock, and Daria casually notices his reaction)_ The press conference will be held at about 9:30 a.m. in the main meeting room of the _Peerdale Hotel_ in New York City. There has been no word over what the NTSB will say. In a related development, Appleton Industries has just announced that its Energy Division Chief, _Constance Waters_, will be transferred to _Japan. (Darren's mouth drops in shock, Daria picks this up as well)_ Waters, who pulled off a stunning business coup by acquiring a sizable share in the Tsunama/Fuju Japanese energy company for Appleton Industries, was considered to be an up-and-coming name at Appleton. A spokesman for William Appleton said, quote: _"Constance Water's trip to Japan will ensure a smooth transition into the Far Eastern market for Appleton Industries--this is a golden opportunity for Waters to show her 'stuff'"_, unquote. In other news--

Darren looked off, frowning, deep in thought. Daria sneaked a glance at her brother while she was eating her cereal. After about 10 seconds of silence, she spoke.

DARIA: Er, your cereal's gonna get soggy if you don't eat it, bro.

DARREN: _(Snaps out of it:) Hmmm--_? Oh, you're right--let me finish it. _(Starts to eat it hastily)_

DARIA: _(After a moment:)_ Um--I couldn't help seeing how you _were_ when it was announced that the NTSB was going to release their findings on that jet plane crash that killed those Appleton people. _(Darren freezes, concerned, tries to keep his reaction to Daria in check)_ I guess it was pretty _quick_ for them to find the cause of it, huh? _(Darrens sighs to himself in relief, nods)_ Usually, it'll take from a few months up to a _year_ or more for the NTSB to make their ruling on a crash like that.

DARREN: I--suppose. They certainly did find out what happened sooner than everyone thought--I guess the Black Box they recovered gave them all the information they needed, huh? _(Keeps eating, but doing so in a slower fashion, still thinking to himself)_

DARIA: _(Shrugs:)_ I guess. _(Stares at him some more, then:)_ What do you think of what happened to that _Waters_ woman? _(Darren cuts his eyes at Daria, alarmed)_

DARREN: What--do you mean, Daria?

DARIA: _(Shows a little of her sarcasm, mock ponders, looks up with a finger on her chin, deadpan:) Hmmm_--I've just worked my _female executive ass_ off for my company, enabling them to get a _hell_ of a large share of a foriegn company that apparently my company has _drooled_ after for a certain amount of time, and to show their so-called _"gratitude"_, they ship me off _halfway_ around the damn world. _(In an ironic tone:)_ What a _wonderful_ way to advance up the corporate ladder--I suppose the _old_ way of getting ahead--you know, _"being in **'bed'** together"_ can be thrown out now?

DARREN: _(Arches an eyebrow:)_ Can you _"elaborate"_ a little _further_ on that, sis?

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Darren, since business administration _is_ your major, I'll put this question to you--if _you_ were the _head_ of a corporation, and the person who worked under you, in this case, a _female_, did a great job for your company, would you _award_ her by sending her off someplace else?

DARREN: _(Narrows his eyes slightly, thinks:)_ No, of course not--I'd _probably_ consider promoting her.

DARIA: _(Now raises her own eyebrow:) "Probably"_, bro? You mean you wouldn't promote her right there on the _spot_?

DARREN: _(Shrugs:)_ It _depends_, Daria--if it were as you say, something _major_ that my company really wanted for a long while, sure, in an _instant_. If it were something _minor_, I'd mark it down on her record for future advancement.

DARIA: There--you've _proven_ my point--and this _wasn't_ something that was major?

Darren looked off in space, considering his sister's words.

DARREN: Okay, you're _right_, it _was_ major. _(Adds after a moment:)_ Are you _implying_ that the head of Appleton Industries is some sort of _sexist_ for not promoting her, and the only way _Co_--er, _Ms. Waters_ could have been promoted is to get in _bed_, with--

DARIA: _(Shakes her head slowly, cuts him off:)_ --I wouldn't go _that_ far, bro--at least not _yet_, anyway. I just think it's kind of _unfair_ and _strange_ that this happened like that, that's all. _(Shrugs:)_ But then, what do _I_ know? _(Returns to eating her cereal)_

DARREN: _(Thought v.o., now looks at Daria seriously: Apparently a **whole** lot, sis--and not just because you're intelligent.:)_ I guess it _was_ unfair and strange at that. _(Pauses, gives Daria a determined stare:)_ Look, _I_ would _never_ discriminate against anyone, Daria, and I wouldn't tolerate any _garbage_ like that in _my_ company from _any_ of my subordinates if I were the head---you could _count_ on that.

DARIA: _(Chews, looks at Darren with her deadpan expression:)_ Glad to _hear_ that, bro--of course, I never _said_ that you _would_.

DARREN: _(Chuckles uneasily after seeing how he overreacted to Daria's statement:)_ Ah, of _course_ not. _(Finishes wolfing down his cereal:)_ Well, I'd better shower and dress, sis. I'll see you then. _(Puts bowl in sink, pauses, mentions in an off-handed way:)_ Er, since the NTSB seemed to have already drawn a conclusion as to what has happened to those--_"Appleton"_ people so quickly, I'm curious as to know _how_ they reached their findings. _(Pauses:)_ Do you mind if we watch _some_ of that news conference before we go?

DARIA: _(After a moment:)_ No, I don't mind--now that you've mentioned it, I'm kind of curious _myself_. I guess we can wait for a few extra minutes.

DARREN: _(Gives a quick, quiet smile:)_ Thanks, sis. _(Leaves the kitchen)_

Daria watched him leave with a slight frown on her face, perplexed.

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: Something about that report really **spooked** Darren. I'm guessing that it somehow hit **close** to home concerning his adopted parents. Did **they** die in a plane crash, too, or some sort of **similar** accident? He never said **how** they died yet, or **when**, and no one around here has tried to ask him about it **directly**, even when our grandmothers and aunts were here. I guess everyone was so glad he was **alive**, they didn't give a damn about how he came to us--not that I could **blame** them, I suppose. Should I--? **No**. If I did, it might **"alienate"** him for some reason--best let him tell us when he's good and ready.) (Keeps eating, then stops, thought v.o.: I **don't** want to alienate my bro? Did I really just think **that** to myself? Crap, I **am** getting softer and softer--my mind's about to **go**.) (Closes her eyes, shakes her head rapidly as if to get the thought out of her mind, then keeps eating)_

Darren went up the stairs full of questions. What would the NTSB _say_ about the crash? What would the person or persons who hired Sanchez _do_ after watching what the NTSB would say? Would that _butcher_ Sanchez be watching _himself_? Darren wondered briefly if they would they come after _him_ if the report said that _sabotage_ was the cause, putting his birth family in danger --possibly even _Jane_. Woo said that whoever did hire Sanchez did _not_ consider his birth family and friends a _threat_ to them. Still, _anything_ was possible. Should he _leave_ his birth family, going somewhere _secretly_, telling them that an _"emergency"_ came up, and that he would have to go back home, or something?

_No_. That sudden little action would likely _raise_ more questions than it would answer. Besides, he was beginning to feel--_comfortable_ with the Morgendorffers, _closer_ to them. He, the _cynical_ Daria, and the _"beauty/fashion-obsessed"_ Quinn were forming a _bond_, the same with the somewhat _autocratic_ Helen and _comically clueless_ Jake (though he knew both were well-meaning in their parenting). Then, of course, there was _Jane_. There was something--_alluring_ about her. She certainly had a _carefree_ attitude that was _infectious_--Darren had not felt so good about himself since Stephanie was alive. He could not put his finger on it, but he did _not_ want to leave Jane, or his birth family hanging like that. It would not be fair to _either_ of them--or to _himself_. He would have _no_ choice but to wait for Woo's investigation--which reminded him to contact Woo later this morning to see if Woo found anything yet. Darren knew that Woo would probably be watching the news conference, too, and Darren could compare notes with him over the phone. It was still too early in the morning on the West coast--he looked at his alarm clock and it was a little after _8:00 a.m._ here. Darren decided to take his cell phone _with_ him--he would have to _call_ Woo while he was out with Daria and Jane, but to do so in a _discreet_ manner. He was beginning to _hate_ himself more and more for _lying_ to his birth family and Jane--and to everyone _else_ in and around Lawndale as well. It was _not_ in his nature to do so, and it was _gnawing_ at him. He walked into his room to shower and change with a _disgusted_ look on his face.

As he came into his room, he then thought about _Constance Waters_. Daria's question was quite _valid_--why would his uncle William send her over to _Japan_? Surely, someone _else_ could have handled Tsunama/Fuju? Darren thought about _calling_ his uncle to ask _why_ he'd do such a thing, but then he remembered his _promise_--not to question his uncle's decisions concerning the company. After all, Darren did _choose_ William to head Appleton Industries. He suspected that Constance wanted to go of her _own_ accord, probably like _Leonard Potter_ did as well. Speaking of Leonard, Darren decided to _call_ Potter when Darren got back to the mansion after all this _madness_ was over--no need to _bother_ Leonard with him being so _busy_ and all on the West coast. Darren then took out some clothes from his bag, and was about to go into the bathroom when his cell phone, which was connected to its charger on his dresser, rang. He frowned briefly, perplexed, wondering if Curtis was calling again--or maybe Woo _had_ something? A bit nervous, he answered it.

DARREN: _(Reluctantly speaks:)_ Uh, hello?

VOICE: Well, _that_ certainly sounded like a _definitive_ greeting, Darren! Hello, dear nephew!

DARREN: _(Now grins, delighted:) Aunt Millie_? Hey! _(Sits down on his bed, genuinely relieved:)_ Are _you_ a voice I needed to hear! Where are you? How are you doing?

MILLIE: I'm in _London_ in the _Royal Cresent_ hotel room, Darren--I've had a wonderful time, and I'm doing fine. I'll be back in the States late next week. I wanted to call and hear about how things are going with your birth family, the Morgendorffers. _(Darren grows quiet, begins to get deep in thought)_ How--how have they _treated_ you, since you've been there, dear? I know the _last_ time we talked the night you came there, you really didn't know know them _well_ enough to _draw_ an opinion.

DARREN: Things have gone--_well_ since I last called you, Aunt Millie--I'm starting to form a--_bond_ with my birth family. I've already met my birth aunts and grandmothers too.

MILLIE: _(After a long pause:)_ That's--that's _wonderful_, Darren. I'm--_glad_ that you're establishing your _ties_ to them.

Darren sensed his aunt's _reluctance_ over this subject, remembering their conversation over his getting to know the Morgendorffers the night before he left the mansion--she _still_ had her _"ridiculous"_ concerns over him getting _closer_ to them--and possibly _leaving_ her. Instead of saying something he knew would do _little to anything_ that would allay his aunt's feelings and fears, he smiled quietly to himself, hoping that once he _introduced_ her to the Morgendorffers, she would not feel so _"threatened"_ by them.

MILLIE: _(Continues:)_ What--what was their _reaction_ to the _"wealth"_ issue? _(Is heard chuckling uneasily:)_ For _some_ reason, I half-thought that I'd hear something in the _media_ by now, you know, something like, _"Arthur Jr. Meets His Birth Family"--_?

DARREN: _(Grows slightly pale, then decides to **partially** tell his aunt the truth:)_ Uh, Aunt Millie, I really _haven't_ told the Morgendorffers _everything_ about me, yet--especially about how _much_ money I have--

MILLIE: _(Sounding stunned, cuts him off:) --What_? Why not?

DARREN: I--_still_ want to get to know them a little bit better--that and the _"impression"_ they gave me that they kind of look _down_ on the wealthy--I found that out about my birth mother, father, and sister Daria. _Quinn_, however, I think, is--a little--_(searches for words:) advantageous_ when it comes to knowing someone that's rich. She said that she wants to _know_ someone that has money. _(Thought v.o.: And I can only **shudder** at the thought when Quinn finds out how much money I have.)_

MILLIE: _(Now with a concerned tone in her voice:)_ What did your birth mother say?

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ Don't worry, Aunt Millie--I don't think it's all _that_ serious. Let's just say that Helen, who you'll remember is a _lawyer_, had a bit of a _"sour"_ experience in a case with a _rich_ defendant she was trying to win a lawsuit from. She said that the defendant used their _"money and connections"_, and _"escaped"_ paying money to her client, the plaintiff.

MILLIE: _(Sounding unsure:)_ Oh, _dear_--and I suppose she was quite _bitter_ about the whole thing?

DARREN: _(Rolls his eyes, smiles:)_ If you could've seen her _yourself_, you'd _pray_ that she wouldn't know that _you_ were rich--at least _I_ did at the time.

MILLIE: _(Gives an unsure chuckle:)_ I can _imagine. (Pauses:)_ How about your birth father?

DARREN: _(Sighs:)_ Actually, not _all_ that different from my birth mother's experience. He has some sort of _competition_ going in his consulting business from a fellow who is _more_ successful than he's been, at least financially, and he's _vowed_ to match up with this guy in clients some day, and _beat_ him out. He says he's going to be _richer_ because of it.

MILLIE: _(After taking everything in Darren has said:)_ I see. What about your sister _Daria_? What was _her_ problem with wealth?

Darren frowned to himself, searching for words, then continued.

DARREN: She basically said that the wealthy used their money _"for **bribery** or **kickbacks, self-indulgent extravagance**, and **an overnight stay in the Lincoln bedroom."** (Pauses:)_ I could say that I _felt_ every word she said hit me like a _rock_, but she didn't sound too _mocking_ when she said that. You see, Aunt Millie, I learned that Daria has a tendency to hide behind a _wall_ of sarcasm when she speaks--she uses that to also hide her _feelings_ as well, not only _verbally_, but _facially_, too--_(chuckles:)_ I think my sister has the _"world's greatest poker face"._

MILLIE: _(Snickering sound:)_ Hmmm--are you saying that you couldn't _tell_ what she _really_ meant when she criticized those who are wealthy?

DARREN: Well--_almost_. I'm sure that my having a lot of money would mean _nothing_ to her, but it might make her think a little _differently_ of me, a little more _skeptical_. Then again, I can't be too sure of _that_, either--you see, Daria is perhaps the most _difficult_ person to read I have _ever_ met. It's _very_ hard to tell whether or not she's serious when she talks about a subject that doesn't affect her _directly_. She's _unflinchingly_ straightforward and _uncompromising_, yes--but I'm _still_ trying to _understand_ her. Now, I have seen her get _angry_ at Quinn over some things, but for the _most_ part, I really can't tell--save for her _writing_.

MILLIE: Oh yes--you said that she was a _writer_, but you didn't really get into the _way_ she wrote the last time we talked.

DARREN: Well, if you read what she writes _yourself_, it would probably _terrify_ you to your _bones_. She's quite _dark_ in her visualization of society as a _whole_ in her writings--but _real_ to the core. I'm going to take some copies of her writing _back_ with me when I leave, so that the dean of the Journalism Department at Eastward College can read it--if you'll remember that the last time we talked, I told you that Daria's _top_ choice college-wise, was _Eastward_, and I'd like to see her there _with_ me. _(Grins:)_ Speaking of which, do you think we can make some _room_ for her to stay at the mansion _with_ us if she does go to Eastward, Auntie?

MILLIE: _(Laughs:)_ I don't see why not, Darren--I suppose we can _"squeeze"_ her in somehow.

DARREN: _(Smirks:)_ Good. _(Pauses:)_ If you think that her _writing's_ something, you should see her _room_. A _schizophrenic_ used to live in there, before the Morgendorffers moved in, and the walls are _still_ padded, and she has _sawed-off_ bars on her windows.

MILLIE: _(Gasps:)_ You told me a little about _Quinn's_ room, but you didn't tell me about _Daria's_ room when you called me the night you got there. _(Pauses:)_ Forgive me for saying this, Darren, don't take this the wrong way, but you're not--_afraid_ of her, at least a _little_?

Darren grinned and laughed out loud at _that_ thought for a second.

DARREN: Aunt Millie, _believe_ me when I tell you I feel _comfortable_ around Daria, although I'll admit at first I didn't know how to _approach_ her. I think under her _veneer_ of cynicism and sarcasm, lies a really _loyal, caring_, and _good_ person--and like I told you when I last talked to you over the phone--she is a very _funny_ person to me when she uses her sarcasm, in and of itself quite _ironic_, because it's usually a _depressing_ type of sarcasm that's suppose to put people _down_, yet it _cheers_ me up. Others may see her as _"smart-alecky"_, but in reality, she _calls_ them as she _sees_ them. I can _respect_ a person like that. _(Thought v.o.: I just hope she can respect **me** when she finds out the truth about me.)_

MILLIE: Well, if that's how you feel about her, Darren--then I can't wait to meet her or the rest of the Morgendorffers. _(Lightens her tone:)_ So--have you--met any--_girls_ since you've been there? _(Sounding reserved:)_ I can--_understand_ if you haven't--

DARREN: _(Smiles, gently cuts her off:)_ --Actually, Aunt Millie, I _have_ met someone--she's the best friend of Daria, _Jane Lane_.

MILLIE: _(Sounding delighted:)_ Oh, Darren, that's _wonderful_! _(Pauses:)_ And you say she's _Daria's_ best friend? What's she like?

DARREN: She's _sort_ of like Daria, but a little more _open_ in her demeanor when it comes to people. She has a _wicked_ sense of humor, and is a little _mischievous_ as well, humor-wise. Jane's _down-to-earth_, and I feel really--_good_ around her. She's an artist, and most of her paintings are in the _abstract-expressionist_ style, sort of similiar to _Picassco_ and _Goya_, with a little of _Pollack_, and _De Kooning_ thrown in as well. Wait until you see her work--it's _terrific_, similar to Daria's writing, except that it's _art_. In fact, when I get back to the mansion, I'm going to talk to some of the _art critics_ uncle Will knows and let them know about Jane. She wants to go to the prestigious _New York City Art School. (Pauses, gets an idea:)_ Say--maybe _Jane_ can stay at the mansion with me and Daria as well while she goes there? It's not _that_ far from Eastward College.

MILLIE: _(Ponders:)_ Hmmm--if Jane _wants_ to, I certainly won't object, Darren. _(Pauses:)_ Well, I can certainly see that you're _quite_ fond of her. I'm so _happy_ for you! _(Becomes quiet:)_ I don't mean to throw _cold water_ on your knowing her, but what about when you _tell_ the Morgendorffers your _real_ last name? How will _Jane_ react?

Darren looked down, thinking for a moment about all that he knew concerning his parent's murder, and _why_ he couldn't say anything for the time being, _even and especially_ to his aunt, then he spoke.

DARREN: I--_hope_ that Jane'll understand _why_ I did _what_ I did, Aunt Millie. I really _do_ want her and my birth family to know who I am, and I _do_ plan to tell them and her before I go back to the mansion--I _promise. (Thought v.o.: No matter **what** happens with Sanchez.)_

MILLIE: _(Sighs:)_ All right, Darren--I'll leave you to your--_"devices"_.

DARREN: Thanks, Aunt Millie--now what about _you_? _(Grins:)_ Have you found anyone _"special"_ while on vacation, yet?

MILLIE: _(Laughs, sounding coy:)_ Ummm--weeell, I've met a _British gentleman--_

DARREN: Ah-hah! _(In a "British" accent:)_ And who is this, I might ask, dear madam?

MILLIE: His name's _Edward White_, he's tall and handsome, and he's a _stockbroker_ in the European Common Market. As a matter of fact, I'm scheduled to meet him for tea in an hour.

DARREN: _(Smiles:)_ Good for you, Auntie! I'd like to meet him when he comes to the States. _(Looks at watch, sees he has little less than an hour before the news conference:)_ Er, Aunt Millie, I don't want to keep you from your meeting with Edward, and I'm planning to take Daria and Jane out on a "date" after I talk to you, so if there's nothing _else_--?

MILLIE: Well, yes--actually, there _is_, Darren.

DARREN: _(Eyebrows raised:)_ Oh? What?

MILLIE: I've been watching the news on my hotel room TV, and I saw on _World Cable Network_ that the NTSB will report their findings on the--_(hesitates:)_ crash that killed your parents.

DARREN: _(Grows quiet:)_ I--know, Aunt Millie--I plan on watching some of it before I leave with Daria and Jane this morning. _(Adds as an afterthought:)_ I'm sure even _uncle Will_ will probably be watching the news conference as well. I'll probably call him later in the week to gauge his _reaction_ to the findings--I saw on the _Business Today Show_ here that he's going to be pretty busy going over some _critical_ business dealings with a group of Middle-Eastern businessmen over the next few days--since he's going to be pretty much immersed in that, I'll just hold off, because asking him on what he thinks about the crash could kind of _distract_ him, and I wouldn't want to do that.

MILLIE: A good idea, Darren--and I'm _sure_ he'll be watching. _(Sighs:)_ Darren, please don't think me _callous_ when I say this, but I probably _won't_ be watching the news conference. I--don't think I can go _through_ hearing what happened anymore. _(Pauses, sounding bitter:)_ Do you know I've been _harassed_ while I've been on vacation by some of those _damn_ European reporters? Thank God for the security I've _hired_. At times, it seems like I've felt like the late _Princess Diana_.

DARREN: That's all right, Aunt Millie--I can understand why'd you do that. _(Frowns:)_ Curtis said that he and Lena went through the _same_ thing while he was in Florida. This is becoming a _nightmare. (Pauses:)_ I hope the Morgendorffers and Jane can _handle_ the attention from the media when they find out who I am.

MILLIE: I'm sure that everything will work out in the end, Darren. _(Pauses:)_ Well, I'm going to get ready for Edward. I'll talk to you later--I love you, dear nephew, and good luck.

DARREN: _(Gives a lopsided smile:)_ I love you too, Auntie--and say hello to your _"friend"_ Edward for me. Talk to you later too, goodbye. _(Hangs up, gathers his clothes he's going to wear for his "date" with Daria and Jane, and goes to the bathroom to shower and change)_

Downstairs, the doorbell rang, and Daria went to answer it. She opened the door to find a courier from the same delivery service that gave Trent the _"Mysterious Benefactor's"_ financial contribution, and the raw results of Darren's DNA test. (But it was _not_ the same courier.) He was a small, black-bearded man, and he was holding the _same_ sort of gray envelope that held the raw DNA results--this was probably the _overall_ DNA data, Daria assumed.

DARIA: _(In her deadpan tone:)_ Yes?

COURIER: _(In a business-like tone:)_ Are _you_ Helen Morgendorffer?

DARIA: Afraid not. _(Smirks:)_ Does that _disqualify_ me?

COURIER: _(Frowns slightly, thought v.o.: The "smart-ass" girl **Luthor** told me about. Well, I'm going to get a tip--she won't blow **me** off.)_ No, miss--just sign here, please. _(Gives Daria his pad and pen, which she takes and signs, and then he gives her the gray envelope:) Ahem. (Holds out his hand, and slightly steps **inside** the doorway so Daria can't shut it in his face)_

Daria cut her eyes slightly at the courier, and looked down at the man's outstretched hand, as well as his relative _position_ in her doorway, and smirked.

DARIA: Hang on--I'll _get_ you your tip.

COURIER: _(Looks hopeful:) Really_?

DARIA: Yes, but I'm gonna have to get it out of my _boot_. I carry some money in there--_(pauses as the man looks at her, confused:)_ you know, I don't want you to _look_ at my _leg_ when I do--?

COURIER: _(Makes a disgusted face--he doesn't want to look at Daria doing such a thing anyway:)_ Oh, yeah, sure--lemme _step back and turn around. (He does so:)_ Okay, you can _get_ it.

DARIA: _(Now smirks even **more**, this time wickedly, deadpan:)_ Thank you, kind sir--I _will_ "get" it. _(Promptly and calmly **shuts** the door, walks back to the living room holding the envelope with her Mona Lisa smile:)_ The _door_, that is.

When the man heard the door shut, he knew _immediately_ that he had been _tricked_. He sighed, did not _bother_ to turn around, (there was _no_ way he was going to give that girl the _satisfaction_ of seeing him look like an _idiot_) walked with a _foolishly dignified-looking_ strut, got into his truck, and drove off calmly. About a block down the street, the man pulled over and _cried_ his head off into the steering wheel--not only did he not get a tip, but he would also have to pay the _bet_ he had made with his _fellow co-worker_ over getting one from _this_ family.

In the meantime, Daria looked at the envelope and was about to toss it on the coffee table when _Quinn_ came downstairs, stretching and yawning, having just changed into her regular clothing. She saw Daria holding the envelope.

QUINN: _(Points at what Daria's holding, walks up to her:)_ Daria, what's _that_?

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ Good morning, sis, and it's an _envelope_.

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ I can _see_ that. What _kind_ of envelope is it?

DARIA: _(Looks at the envelope and turns it over and over, smirks:)_ Well, I believe it's a _large, gray, thin_ envelope--

QUINN: _(Frowns, becomes annoyed, cuts her off:)_ --I _know_ how the envelope _looks_, Daria. What's _in_ it?

DARIA: _(With her expressionless look:)_ Do I look like I have _x-ray vision_, Quinn? I just got it from the courier service, and I don't know what's in the envelope, but I'm assuming it's the _overall_ DNA results on our bro, since it looks like the first one that came with the _raw_ results. I'm _not_ opening it, because it's addressed to _mom_.

QUINN: _(Smacks her mouth in disgust:) Daaaaria_! _(Suddenly **snatches** the envelope from Daria:)_ Mom won't _mind_ if we _open_ it! We _know_ Darren's our bro, right? This just _confirms_ it!

DARIA: _(Cocks an eyebrow in surprise:)_ You _remembered_ what Dr. Mull said? Hey, I gotta admit, that's _damned_ impressive for someone who usually reserves what _little_ memory she has for some fashion trends and what guys she chooses to go out with based on who has the best _cars, houses,_ or _yachts._

QUINN: _(Glares at Daria:) Funny_, Daria--and for your information, I promised our brother last night that I would only go out with _three guys per week_ from now on because of me takin' my studying for the Fashion Institute _seriously_!

DARIA: _(Gives a **fake** look of stunned disbelief, puts the palms of her hands on both sides of her face:) No_! _Only_ three guys a week? This _is_ earth-shattering!

QUINN: _(Daria's sarcasm going over her head yet again:)_ It _should_ be, Daria, now why don't you leave me _alone_! _(Begins to open the envelope:)_ Now, let's see if Darren's _completely_ our bro--

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ --You mean, he's only been _partly_ our bro after all this time?

QUINN: _(Fumes:)_ You _know_ what I'm sayin', Daria! _(Fumbles with the envelope, pulls out the results, suddenly **screams** with her eyes wide open:) AAAAAAH! NOOOO!_

DARIA: _(With a stunned look on her face, takes the results from Quinn and looks at them:)_ Quinn, don't tell me that Darren's _not_--

Darren, having just taken a quick shower and stepping out of the stall, heard Quinn's scream. Alarmed and still wet, he snatched his white towel-robe that was hanging on the doorknob, putting it on and wrapping the belt around himself, and _tore_ out of the guest bathroom in the hallway. Were the people who hired _Sanchez_ trying to come _after_ his birth family? He prepared himself, remembering _instantly_ the martial arts skills he knew. Darren ran down the stairs, his heart beating fast. He came to the foot of the stairs, and saw Daria and Quinn standing in the middle of the living room, looking at each other, then noticing Darren. He looked around quickly, seeing nothing, and came over to his sisters.

DARREN: _(Looking concerned:)_ What's going on? Why'd you scream, Quinn?

DARIA: _(Speaks before Quinn can for a change, smirks:)_ Oh, our sis just got a _paper cut_ on her finger while opening the envelope that contained the overall DNA results about you. _(Quinn puts her index finger in her mouth while Daria, who has taken the envelope back from Quinn and is looking down at the paper with the results:)_ By the way, the overall results _confirm_ that your our bro, lock, stock, and barrel.

_(Note to reader: Had you **going** there, did I not?)_

DARREN: _(Sighs in relief:)_ That's good--if there _were_ any mistakes, Dr. Mull would've _called_ us and said something. _(Cocks an eyebrow at Quinn, slightly annoyed:)_ Quinn, you scared me half to death shouting like that--I thought something was _wrong_!

QUINN: _(Takes her finger out of her mouth, looks and shows it to Darren:)_ Something _is_ wrong, Darren! This is _serious_! I can't wear a dress or shoes with an _unfashionable bandage_ around my finger! _(Darren looks at Quinn, amazed)_ I mean, it just wouldn't _look_ right! What color _nail polish_ would go _with_ it? I'm gonna soak my finger in some water to keep it from bleeding--

DARIA: _(Now gets into her **"Playing-with-my-sister's-feeble-little-mind"** mode:)_ --But wouldn't that _wrinkle_ your finger? You wouldn't want _that_, would you?

QUINN: _(Realizes:) Ohmygosh_--ohmygosh, you're _RIGHT_, Daria! I _can't_ do that! _(Daria smirks, while Darren chuckles to himself, shakes his head slowly)_ I'm gonna go upstairs and wrap my finger up in a towel until it stops bleeding! I'm expectin' the Fashion Club over while you guys are gone, and I can't have them seein' me like _this_! _(Rushes upstairs)_

Darren and Daria watched Quinn go upstairs, and looked at each other for a moment, then Darren spoke.

DARREN: _(Sighs, smiles sheepishly:)_ So, I'm your's and Quinn's "Big Bro" _"officially"_ official, now, huh?

DARIA: _(Gives a small smile:)_ Yep--and mom and dad's son _"officially"_ official, too--_poor_ fella. _(Darren laughs, not just at Daria's remark, but at the **irony** of her words)_ It also means you're subject to _endless_ teasing and sarcastic remarks from me, bro--next to _Quinn_, of course.

DARREN: _(Smirks, in a mocking tone:)_ You mean, _our_ little sister will be getting your "famed" barbs first? I feel _so_ offended.

DARIA: _(Now smirks herself:)_ Oh, don't worry about _that_, Darren--you'll get your _fair_ share of my "barbs"--after all, I have almost _twenty years_ worth to make up to you.

The smile Darren had slowly faded. Daria then came to realize the _true_ meaning of her words. Both stared at each other for a moment more, then Darren spoke in a quiet tone.

DARREN: Almost _twenty_ years, Daria--_(pauses:)_ I hope--_(hesitates:)_ I hope you, me, Quinn, and my birth parents can get--well--_closer_ to each other.

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ You're _sure_ you _want_ to be close to mom and dad? I mean, that _"Morgendorffer Mystique"_ must be rubbing off _onto_ you--I'll prepare the _straightjacket. (Darren smiles, while Daria becomes serious and quiet, searches for words, looks around so as not to be embarassed:)_ I thought--I thought we _were_ becoming closer to each other, Darren. _(Thought v.o.: There's goes my **mind**--the softness has **completely** taken over--**damn**!)_

DARREN: _(Looks a bit pained, smiles weakly:)_ I suppose we're _getting_ there, sis--I just hope that we'll get _so_ close that we can _(searches for words:)--"overlook"_ some of the--_"faults"_ that we might find out about each other, you know, if we might _discover_ some things that could be--taken the _wrong_ way?

DARIA: _(Narrows her eyes:) "Overlook"? "Faults"? "Taken the wrong way?" (Pauses:)_ Darren, I don't understand--what _are_ you talking about?

DARREN: _(Grimaces, bites his lip, gives an unsure shrug:)_ It's, well--

The cell phone on the living room table rang at that moment, and Darren used it to his _advantage_.

DARREN: _(Goes up the stairs before Daria can say something else:)_ --that's probably Jane, wanting to know when we'll be ready to go. I'm going upstairs to change, okay? _(Leaves out of sight)_

DARIA: _(Watches him go:)_ Um--sure, bro. _(Picks up the cell phone on the third ring, and clicks it on:)_ Hello?

VOICE: Yo!

DARIA: Hey, Jane--I'm assuming you're calling to know when we're all going out this morning?

JANE: Yeah--uh--when are you and Darren gonna be ready to go to the _arcade_?

DARIA: Well, we're--_(pauses, cocks an eyebrow:)_ how'd you _know_ that we'd be going to the arcade?

JANE: _(Sounding in her motherly mocking-admonishing tone:)_ Now, _deeear_--you know you can't hide _anything_ from _me--_

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ --Maybe I can find the perfect place to hide your _body_ from the authorities when I _kill_ you, if they ask me where you are, provided they _suspect_ me. _(Pauses:)_ Since you figured out _where_ we're going, I'm going to let you figure out _when_ we're going.

JANE: Hmmm--given your habit of _limiting_ human contact to as _little_ as you can get on any given day, you'd want us to get there as _early_ as possible, when there would be relatively _few_ people, so I'd say _10:00 a.m._--how's that?

DARIA: _(Narrows her eyes:)_ You're _good--damn_ good. However, we might want to wait a few extra minutes to leave--my bro wants to look at a news conference from the NTSB about that private jet plane crash that killed those _"Appleton"_ people almost a month ago. It's supposed to start about 9:30 a.m. this morning, and apparently, the NTSB has the _answers_ as to what happened.

JANE: The crash that killed that _mysterious_ "Arthur Jr." guy's parents? _(After a moment:)_ Yeah, I heard about that just _before_ we flew out for our vacation--_(snorts:) what_ a way to go off--hearing about the _crash_ of a plane and then going on _one_ the _very_ next day. I remember about being a little _worried_ when I sat beside my mom for a short time on our plane, then putting it in the back of my mind. _(Pauses:)_ Say, _why_ would Darren want to look at _that_? You think he _knew_ that guy, or something?

DARIA: _(Ponders:)_ Hmmm--I hadn't thought about it like _that_, but watching this news conference seemed _really_ important to him. I decided to go along with his request, if nothing else, to see his _reaction_ to what the NTSB said. I'm _half-wondering_ if the _same_ sort of a thing happened to his adopted parents. I'm sure it was an _accident_, but I'm guessing he's not telling us because it's too _traumatic_ for him to remember what happened. He hasn't said anything at _all_ about how they died. I thought about _asking_ him--but, well--you know--

JANE: _(In a quiet tone:)_ --You didn't wanna _pressure_ him. _(Pauses:)_ Girl, he's _gotten_ to you, hasn't he? _(Daria rolls her eyes, but says nothing)_ To be honest with you, I've had the _same_ feeling something was up with him while we were jogging this morning, because he seemed kind of--_zoned out_ at times, but I didn't say anything--

DARIA: _(Cocks an eyebrow:) --Are_ you gonna say anything to him?

JANE: I've--_thought_ about it, but I figure he'll say something when's he's _good and ready_--?

To Daria, the tone of Jane's voice was one of a _question_, unsure, as if Jane wanted to see what _Daria_ would do first. Daria pondered for a moment, then spoke.

DARIA: Maybe we can _both_ wait until Darren's ready. I mean, with the _hell_ he's gone through, he at least _deserves_ our patience. I'm sure he'll say something before he has to go back to Eastward, at least--still, in _private_, it wouldn't hurt us to _speculate_ on any sort of connection between Darren and these _"Appleton"_ people.

JANE: Yeah--I guess we could do that. _(Lightens tone:)_ So, do you want me to come there, or will you guys come here in Darren's car?

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ Oh, I'm in a _"What-the-hell"_ mood today--what do _you_ want to do?

JANE: _(Snickering sound:)_ You're _always_ in a _"What-the-hell"_ mood. _(Daria smirks) (Jane says nothing for a moment, then:)_ Ah, I can wait for you guys here. Blow the horn, and I'll be out there in a _New York minute._

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Okay, be out there, or we'll behave like _impatient_ New Yorkers and leave you hanging.

JANE: _(Snorts playfully:)_ Lat--

DARIA: _(Cuts her off:)_ --Hold it, _"Calamity Jane"_. I almost forgot to say something _else_.

JANE: _(Sounding surprised:)_ Oh? What?

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ Don't _ever_ think that you feel like you're in the _way_ of Darren and me getting to know one another as _brother and sister_--this isn't like what happened with _Tom_, you're _not_ like me when I acted like a _jerk_ when you two were--_(pauses:)_ going together, and I'm _passed_ all that crap now. Darren's my bro, and as of right now, your _boyfriend_, but that shouldn't stop you from wanting to be with _us_. So, from this time forth, I _adjure_ you to put such thoughts out of your _reprobate_ mind, deal?

JANE: _(Sounding relieved:) Deal_, pard.

DARIA: Okay, then--we'll see you later. _(Clicks off phone)_

_(Scene changes to Gerald Woo's apartment, Los Angeles, about 15 minutes later)_

Gerald Woo had been awakened by David's phone call about 10 minutes ago, having heard from him about the NTSB's surprising announcement concerning the private jet plane crash that killed the Appletons. After guzzling down his quickly-made cup of coffee to help himself wake up, Woo, still in his pajamas, turned on his TV, and sat down on the couch in his living room. The news conference had just started. There was a National Transportation Safety Board spokesman, heavy-set, balding, and dressed in a blue business suit, standing behind a podium that was loaded with microphones. Behind and standing on both sides of the spokesman were several people, various officials from national and local law enforcement agencies. In the foreground were media from all over the country. The NTSB spokesman was already speaking.

NTSB SPOKESMAN: --Now the jet with Arthur and Lucille Appleton and the crew went off the radar screen at about _11:25 p.m._ E.D.T., 9:25 p.m. M.D.T., and the wreckage was not located until around _12:00 a.m._ E.D.T., 10:00 p.m. M.D.T., then around 12:15 a.m. E.D.T., 10:15 p.m. M.D.T., the first reports came in that the plane had crashed, based on search and rescue aircraft that had been dispatched to where the jet's position had last been reported and seen on the radar. _(Pauses:)_ The NTSB, after locating and listening to the jet's Black Box, has determined that the cause of the crash was a _busted fuel line_. The valve that channeled the fuel into the plane's engine simply gave out and failed. The cause, we've concluded, was _obvious_. I'll take your questions now. _(Hands raised in the foreground, the spokesman points to one:)_ Yes, you?

_(Note to reader: E.D.T. is Eastern Daylight Time, and M.D.T. is Mountain Daylight Time)_

REPORTER: It's a well-known _fact_ that the Appletons were quite _insistent_ their private jet fleet have _very_ thorough flight checks. _How_ could such a thing like a fuel line valve be _overlooked_? Could someone from the jet's maintenance crew at _LaGuardia International_ been at _fault_?

In the Morgendorffer's living room, Daria and Darren, who was now dressed in some regular clothing, were sitting on the middle couch watching the TV. Darren _quietly_ nodded his head in agreement to the reporter's question, looking at the screen intently. Daria cut her eyes at her brother, looking for any show of _emotion_, and privately wondering what was going on with him. Quinn walked by the two, glanced at what was on the TV, shrugged, and went up to her room. Meanwhile, the spokesman responded to the reporter's question.

NTSB SPOKESMAN: No, we _throughly_ checked the crew at LaGuardia International, and they were _cleared_ of any wrongdoing. We were aware of the Appleton's rather _agressive_ flight checks concerning their aircraft, but based on what we heard on the tape, and the wreckage we recovered from the crash site, it was indeed an unfortunate _accident_. It's a known _fact_ that even in some of the most _thoroughly_ maintained aircraft, something could _inexplicably_ go wrong, resulting in a _catastrophic_ accident. No, we're _sure_ it was an accident.

Darren frowned slightly to himself--the NTSB spokesman seemed so _confident_. Could Woo have been _mistaken_? He immediately put _that_ thought from his mind--he had _faith_ in Woo, seeing firsthand what the brilliant detective could do, having located Darren's birth family faster than Darren could have possibly hoped for. His _uncle Will_ thought highly enough of Woo to recommend him to Darren just for that, so there was no way Darren was going to question Woo now, other than to later call Woo and ask how the search was going for Sanchez.

In his office, William Appleton sat at his desk and impassively watched the large projection TV that had been hidden behind a marble wall on the side, and now, thanks to a remote control located on his desk, had been exposed. Benny Lodell sat on the left couch, watched intently, then smirked _wickedly_ when the NTSB spokesman said it was an accident, just as his source said. Benny looked over at William, who gave a quick glance at Benny, and said nothing. Benny's smirk slowly vanished, and he looked back at the TV screen _sullenly._

Woo sat back on his couch and narrowed his eyes. _Those arrogant governmental idiots._ He then turned his thoughts to Sanchez. How in the _hell_ did he pull it off? Well, _when_ Woo and his agency located Sanchez, he'd find out. Woo got up and went into his kitchen to fix himself some breakfast after the news conference went back to a World Cable Network anchorwoman, who was talking to an aviation expert about the crash.

In the room of a seedy apartment somewhere, a short, black-haired Hispanic man with a thin mustache dressed in a tanktop and wearing pajama pants laid on his bed propped up on his pillow and _grinned_ at the broken-down but still-viewable small color TV set. _Those **saps**. You did such a **damn** good job with that fuel valve--just **loosened** it enough to let it **look** like it was tightened, and it busted on the way to Denver--they **never** suspected the deed was done at Los Angeles International. Soon, Lodell will be called, and the second part of the payment will be gotten--hell, maybe you should even get a little **more** money--you **deserve** that, right? You can get some **more** booze, and women--shouldn't have wasted almost all of the first payment of **$10,000**--ah, well, hell--the second payment will get you on **"Easy Street"**, then--_

There was a loud banging on the door, startling the man from his thoughts. He glared at the door with a deep frown.

VOICE: _(From outside the door:)_ HEY, _GONZALEZ_--WHERE'S MY DAMN RENT?!

GONZALEZ: IT'LL BE HERE SOON, JERK! GET THE HELL OFF OF MY BACK--IT'S TOO FREAKIN' EARLY FOR YOU TO COME TO MY ROOM! _(Shouts and curses are heard from the other rooms from people who have been disturbed by the loud, hostile verbal exchange)_

VOICE: I'LL COME ANY _DAMN_ TIME I PLEASE! AS FOR THAT RENT, IT HAD _BETTER_ BE HERE SOON--OR YOUR ASS'LL BE OUT ON THE STREET, YOU GOT THAT?! _(Steps fade away from the door for a bit, then the voice shouts at the curses:)_ SHUT THE HELL UP, ALL OF YOU! DAMN, LOUSY, FREELOADERS! _(Steps fade off down the hallway)_

GONZALEZ: _(Still glares at the door, thought v.o.: Go to hell--and the name is **Julio Sanchez**, you fat, sweaty, bald-headed **bastard**. I'll be out of this **hellhole** soon enough. I'll just rest, and then take my **time** and make that call to Lodell--or maybe **"The Big Apple-man"** himself.) (Lays back on his pillow with a smug grin on his face, and closes his eyes)_

_(Scene changes back to the Morgendorffer's, 15 minutes later)_

The news conference had just ended, with the TV scene going back to the two morning hosts in the studio. After this, Darren rose off the couch with Daria, clicking off the TV with the remote.

DARREN: Well, that was an--_interesting_ news conference. It seemed like the crash investigation the NTSB conducted--_quick_.

DARIA: I'll say--I'm surprised they just didn't send a _fax_ to all of the news organizations and leave it at that. _(Darren gives a quiet chuckle)_ Are you ready to go, bro?

DARREN: Just let me go upstairs and retrieve something, and I'll be ready. _(Tosses keys to her:)_ If you want, you can wait in the car for me.

DARIA: Okay--thanks, bro. _(Opens door, goes outside, sees the Fashion Club coming down the street, turns to Darren, who's about to go upstairs:)_ Better _hurry_, Darren--_"fashion fiends"_ at 3:00. _(Goes outside)_

DARREN: Thanks, sis. _(Comes into the hallway from the stairs as Quinn, who's carrying the gold dress Darren bought her last night, comes out of her room:)_ Your Fashion Club friends are coming up, sis. _(Eyes dress:)_ I see you're going to show off your Circa "Original" to them, eh?

QUINN: _(Giggles:)_ Yeah, and thanks again, bro--for the dress an' tellin' me about the Fashion Club coming up. _(Pauses:)_ I hope you have a good time--even if it's _with_ Daria.

DARREN: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ And what's _that_ supposed to mean?

QUINN: _(Smirks:)_ You know, our sis can be so _boring_ to be around sometimes, not that I'm _criticizin'_ her or somethin'--

DARREN: _(Rolls his eyes, sounding slightly sarcastic:)_ --No, _of course_ not--

QUINN: _(Shrugs:)_ --Oh, don't get me _wrong_, bro--I'm sure that being out with Daria has it's advantages, like what _"brainy"_ books to read, or studying some _history_ or something, but I think after you've gone out with her, as compared to _me_, you'll see that you had a _better_ time with me last night.

DARREN: _(Sighs:)_ Quinn, I'm trying to not _distinguish_ the differences between "hanging out" with you or Daria. Both of you have your own _ways_--

QUINN: _(Frowns slightly:)_ --You've got _that_ right--

DARREN: --I'm just trying to _accept_ the way both of you are. In my eyes, neither one of you is _better_ than the other. _(Thought v.o.: Although it seems like you're trying to make me choose **Daria** at times, sis.)_ And it isn't just Daria I'm going out with today--_Jane's_ coming with us as well. _(Quinn crosses her arms, folds the dress around them, pouts, something that Darren notices:)_ What? _(Pauses, frowns slightly:)_ You're not going to _start_ about Jane, are you?

QUINN: _(Keeps the dress in her left arm, holds up one hand with her free right hand, speaks in a placating tone:) N-no_, bro, of course not! If you wanna take Jane with you an' Daria, then that's _your_ business! _(Then adds as an afterthought, trails off:)_ Of course, _we_ didn't have anybody with _us_ last night--

DARREN: _(Snorts:)_ --No, just _half_ of the boys in Lawndale _around_ us _fawning_ all over you, and their _dates_ on _me. (Pauses:)_ Speaking of which, don't you think maybe you should cut back even _more_ on going out with the _number_ of boys per week, sis? I know you said _three_, but I've been thinking--_(hesitates:)_ maybe you should consider just _one_ guy per--

QUINN: _(Now alarmed, cuts him off:) --Daaaaren_! I _need_ to be _popular_ an' in _demand_ by the guys! I _said_ I'd be _serious_ when it came to my studies, an' I _meant_ it! Why are you tryin' to--

DARREN: _(Gently cuts her off:)_ --Fine, sis, that's _okay_. I'm sorry for bringing it up. _(Sighs:)_ As long as you promised to be more serious with your studies, I guess that's _all_ I can expect for now--excuse me. _(Goes into his room, shuts the door)_

Quinn went to the top of the stairs, about to go down to the living room, then stopped and looked back at Darren's door. She frowned to herself, frustrated, hearing the _annoyed_ tone in Darren's words.

QUINN: _(Thought v.o.: Geez, bro, why do you **have** to be so **strict** n' stuff? You're soundin' like mom and dad! I mean, it's bad enough that I gotta **accept** you an' Jane, and gettin' **serious** about my studies--now you want me to be cuttin' **back** on my dates, too? Give me a break, okay?) (Goes down the stairs, then stops halfway, sighs to herself, thought v.o.: I know he **does** care about me, though, so I shouldn't complain all **that** much--[pauses:] great, now I'm gettin' **soft**.) (Continues down the rest of the stairs to wait for the Fashion Club)_

Darren, after getting his now fully-charged cell phone, then folding it up and putting it in his pants pocket, was about to leave his room when he saw _$100_ on his dresser. Jake had given it to him last night to help out on his "date" with Quinn. Of course, he did not _need_ to spend it, and secretly put it aside during the "date". He picked up the money and went out into the hallway, going to Jake and Helen's bedroom. He quickly slipped inside, and put the cash on their dresser under Jake's belongings, then slipped back out and went downstairs. Darren hoped that Jake would think that he forgot to take his money with him when he went to work, and would pocket it back, thinking nothing of it.

Outside, Daria was waiting in the passenger seat of Darren's car reading Paul Gallico's _Love, Let Me Not Hunger_. Sandi, Tiffany, and Stacy saw her and came up.

SANDI: _(Hesitant, faux smile:)_ Um--like, _hi_, Quinn's cou--uh, _Darla_.

TIFFANY: _(Ditto:)_ Yeah...hi..._Darla_.

STACY: _(Begins to speak, then looks at both of her "friends", confused:)_ Er--Sandi, Tiffany, I think her name's _Daria. (Sandi and Tiffany frown at Stacy, who cringes:) Eep_!

DARIA: _(Looks up at Stacy, cocks an eyebrow, deadpan:)_ Oh, _you_ got my name _right_, Stacy--will wonders never _cease_? _(Pauses, does a Daria-style double-take:)_ Um--did you all just say "Hi, Darl"--I mean, _"Daria"_?

SANDI: _(Now forces a faux happy mood:)_ Like, _of course_, Darl--_Daria_. We just stopped by here to say _hello_ to you before we go and see Quinn.

DARIA: _(Thought v.o., smirks: Trying to make **"nice"** with me to get on my **"good"** side so you can get in good with **Darren**, eh? You all ought to know via Quinn that I have **no** good side:)_ If it's _Darren_ you're all looking for, I'm afraid you're out of luck--_again_.

SANDI: _(Arches an eyebrow:)_ Like, what exactly do you mean, Darl--_Daria_?

DARIA: _(In a deadpan mocking voice:)_ Darren's going out with _me_, his _dear_ sister, again, _that's_ what I mean--after all, he and I have to _catch up_ on our _lost_ past, remember? However, my _cousin_ Quinn's waiting for you guys inside, though--_(pauses:)_ go on, don't keep her _waiting_, now. _(Goes back to reading her book, while Sandi turns red with anger for being dismissed so easily, and Tiffany and Stacy look at each other, heart-broken)_

SANDI: _(Frowns, now begins to get furious:)_ Look here, you _brain_--

At that moment, Darren came out the front door with Quinn. Sandi looked over at them, and suddenly became calm, covering herself, smiling. Tiffany and Stacy came over to both of them and looked up at Darren dreamily.

DARREN: _(Moans inwardly:)_ Oh, hello, uh--Sandi, Stacy, and er--Tiffany.

SANDI: _(Tries to act above it all, but failing miserably, comes over, smiles slightly:)_ Like, um, _hi_, Darren.

STACY: _(Excited, giggles:) Hi_, Darren!

TIFFANY: _(As excited as you can imagine her getting:)_ Hiiii...Darren!

QUINN: _(Off-handedly:)_ Hi, guys. _(Notices them still looking at Darren:)_ Um, _guys_?

SANDI: _(Annoyed, rolls her eyes, glares at Quinn:) Quiiinn_! We're like, talking to your _cousin_! _(Daria looks up and smirks **wickedly** at Quinn, while Darren looks uncomfortably at both of his sisters:)_ Can't you like, _wait_ until we've finished speaking _to_ him?

QUINN: _(Silently sullen:) Sorry_, Sandi.

DARREN: _(Gently moves past the Fashion Club, goes to his car:)_ Listen, I'd like to _really_ talk to you all, but I'm going out with my sister and her friend Jane, and we're running kind of late, so maybe we'll see each other a little _later_--?

SANDI: _(Looks surprised:)_ That _"art-geek" weirdo_ friend of Darl--Daria's? _That_ Jane? _(Stacy and Tiffany smirk at Sandi's remark)_

DARREN: _(Stops, stares forward for a moment, frowns, then turns and looks directly down at Sandi:) Wait_ a moment. _What_ did you call my _girlfriend_? _(The Fashion Club, except Quinn, gasps in shock, while Daria gives a small Mona Lisa smile while looking at the scene)_

SANDI: _(Searches for words:)_ D-did y-you just say--

DARREN: _(Glares at Sandi:) --Yes_. Jane Lane is my _girlfriend_, and I don't appreciate _any_ of you talking about her like that. Quinn, tell your friends if they want to be _my_ friend, they'd _better_ lay off of Jane, okay?

QUINN: _(Gives a small smirk:) Sure_, Darren.

DARREN: Good. _(Coldly to Sandi, Stacy, and Tiffany:) Excuse me. (Brushes past the rest of the Fashion Club, gets into his car, starts it up, and backs out into the street, then drives off)_

The Fashion Club looked at each other, stunned. Sandi _glared_ down the street where Darren's car went, while a sad-looking Stacy and Tiffany glanced in the same direction, then went in with Quinn.

SANDI: _(Thought v.o.: I, like, don't know what hold that "Jane-person" has **over** you, Darren, but I'm **not** giving up **pursuing** you. What Sandi Griffin **wants**, Sandi Griffin **gets**.) (Follows the rest of the Fashion Club inside)_

In the car, Daria looked at her brother and noticed his deep frown. She could not recall at any time since he had come into their lives that he'd been so _angry_. No doubt about it now--he must have _really_ liked Jane to stand up for her like that. After that _kiss_ she saw between the two yesterday, Daria should not have been surprised.

DARIA: _(Concerned:)_ Darren--um, are you okay?

DARREN: _(Now relaxes, sighs:)_ I'm--fine, sis--the _further_ we're from those _arrogant_ girls, the better. _(Cuts his eyes over at Daria:)_ The absolute _nerve_ of that Sandi to speak of Jane like that makes me _hot_. What does Quinn _see_ in those girls--_especially_ that Sandi?

DARIA: _Popularity_, bro--popularity. The Fashion Club is supposed to be _the_ clique of Lawndale High School, at least in the eyes of most of my fellow _brain-dead_ classmates. If you're not in Sandi's group, then you're looked _down_ upon, fashion, and otherwise. Quinn got into the Fashion Club because Sandi offered her the vice-presidency the _first day_ we came to town. Sandi and Quinn _pretend_ to be friends, but they can _barely_ stand one another, _competing_ all of the time.

DARREN: Then why did Sandi _offer_ Quinn the vice-presidency of the Fashion Club in the _first_ place, knowing that she and Quinn would be at each other's _throats_?

DARIA: I have a theory about that--_(smirks:) "Keep your friends close--_

DARREN: _(Smirks, looks sideways at Daria, nods knowingly:) --But keep your enemies even closer"_. Got you. I wish Quinn would just _dump_ friends like that.

DARIA: Wishing _won't_ make it happen, bro--Quinn's gotta see that for _herself_, and the day _that_ happens, I'll be joining so many _clubs_ at Lawndale High School, Jodie Landon will turn _green_ with _envy. (Goes back to reading her book)_

DARREN: _(Not knowing about Jodie's club-joining "obsession" at the school, simply gives Daria a quick, strange look, then sighs:)_ There's Jane's house.

Darren's car rolled up in front of the Lane's, and Jane immediately came out of the house without Darren having to blow the horn, and getting into the back seat. Darren smiled as she got in, looking back.

DARREN: Hey, Jane.

JANE: _(Smiles:)_ Hey, Darren. _(Notices Daria next, smirks:)_ Oh, _hey_, Daria.

DARIA: _(While still reading her book:)_ Hey. _(Pauses:)_ Don't mind me, you guys --do the _deed_, and let's get the hell to the damn arcade and play some games.

DARREN: _(Confused:) "Deed"_, sis?

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ She means _this_, Darren. _(Reaches over the front seat and grabs Darren's head, turns it around and kisses him on the lips. Darren then slowly turns around, wide-eyed, and now light-headed)_

DARREN: Oh, _that_ deed. _(Starts to slowly drive forward)_

DARIA: _(While still reading, smirks:)_ Want _me_ to drive your car, Darren, or do you think you can handle it without _crashing_ into a _telephone pole_? _(Jane sits back in the seat, arms crossed, smirks wickedly, while Darren keeps driving, red-faced, mockingly glares at Daria)_

About 10 minutes later, Darren's car pulled up to _Mr. Fun's Exciting World of Games_ arcade, and the three got out. Jane sauntered up to Darren and hooked her arm up with his, smiling, as they went into the arcade, led by Daria. The arcade had only about five people in it (two were girls, who looked at Darren dreamily, but stopped looking when they saw Jane giving them the glare to end _all_ glares), and the three basically had a run of most of the games. Daria went straight to the arcade version of the new _CyberKron II_ game, and put in a token she had from a previous visit. Both Jane and Darren joined her there and watched.

JANE: _(Quietly:)_ Thanks for standing up for me like that, Darren, but it's _cool_--I can handle fashion-obsessed _"shallowheads"_ like Sandi Griffin and her little horde.

DARREN: _(In the same tone:)_ I--know, it's just that I can't _stand_ people that come across in that way. _I_ never had a problem like that while I was in high school.

JANE: _(Smirks, sarcastic:) You_? Never having a _"problem"_ like that? Gee, I can't _imagine_ why. What high school did you go to?

DARREN: _(Privately hesitates over this, then comes clean:)_ The _Orbison Academy_. _(Daria cuts her eyes at Darren, eyebrow cocked, then goes back to playing the game)_

JANE: What's that, a _private school_, or something?

DARREN: _(Hesitates:)_ Well--yes--like Eastward College, my (adopted) parents really, uh, worked _hard_ to get me in there. _(Laughs uneasily, adds:) "Nothing but the **best** for our son"_, they used to say. _(Changes subject:)_ Hmph--what's the use of Daria having _all_ the fun while we're standing around watching her? Isn't this an _arcade_? Let me get some tokens for us, and we'll join her, okay?

JANE: Sure thing, Darren. _(Watches him leave them to go to the token guy at the counter, turns to Daria:)_ Hey, you've almost reached the second level?

DARIA: _(While going hard at it:)_ Yep--actually, I heard that the home version is supposed to be _harder_, so I shouldn't be surprised to get there this fast. _(Pauses:)_ Didn't my bro say that he went to the _Orbison Academy_?

JANE: _(Raises an eyebrow:)_ Yeah--so?

DARIA: I've _heard_ of it--it's a pretty _swanky_ private high school--pretty _expensive_, too. His adopted parents must've really worked their _asses_ off to get him in there, _and_ then into Eastward. It's located near New York City--_not_ that far from where those Appleton people lived. _(Glances at Jane, who still does not get it:)_ The _Appletons_, Jane? You know, the people my bro and your boyfriend apparently might've _known_? _Those_ Appletons? _(Loses a man:)_ Crap!

JANE: _(Realizes:)_ Ohhh, _those_ Appletons. _(Pauses:)_ Sorry for sounding like _Brittany_ there for a second, it can happen to the _best_ of us. What's the _connection_?

DARIA: I don't know--whatever it is, I haven't figured it out yet. _(Glances over:)_ He's coming _back_, shhh.

Darren had some tokens and gave them to Daria and Jane, while keeping some for himself.

DARREN: There you all go--_(looks around:)_ I think I'll try those _virtual reality simulators_ first. _(Smirks:)_ Want to come along, Jane?

JANE: _(Smirks as well:)_ Sure, why not? Let's try the _"Underwater Pardise"_ one --I can sing _"Under The Sea"_ while we battle the evil sea monsters. _(Walks over with Darren and tells a geeky-looking, long dark-haired guy what they want, while Daria puts in another token to her game and begins to play again)_

_(Note to reader: The simulators were tried by Daria and Ted in the episode "The New Kid")_

_(Scene fast-forwards to about two hours later)_

Daria and Jane were playing a Star Wars-type of space arcade game called _"Nova One"_ while Darren watched, interested. Both were going at it rather furiously, with the game emphasizing speed through a series of button-crushing moves. There were now more people in the arcade, though still considerably less than usual (most of the students that hung out here were still out with their families on vacation). As an afterthought, Darren looked at his watch, and _gawked_. Time to call _Woo_.

DARREN: I'm going to use the uh--_restroom_, you two--I'll be back.

JANE: _(Frowns while deep in thought, with her tounge sticking out:)_ Knock yerself out, Darren.

DARIA: _(Ever-so-slightly frowns:)_ Don't let _us_ stop you, bro. _(Frowns a little more:) Damn_--I _hate_ you, Jane!

JANE: _(Grins:) Hah_! You're in _trouble_ now, amiga--now to go in for the _kill_!

Darren gave a small chuckle to himself after watching the girls for a moment more, going into the arcade's men's restroom, and into the farthest stall from the door. He pulled the cell phone from his pocket, opened it up, and began to dial.

Meanwhile, in Los Angeles, a street over from Woo's detective agency, the red goatee-haired man sat in his tinted glass sportscar eating a sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit, and listening to the sounds from Woo's office. So far, the only things he heard were that of a case that was about a missing _parakeet_ from an elderly woman, and a missing _brooch_ from a wealthy socialite. The man snickered and rolled his eyes, and drank some hot coffee he had poured out of his thermos--this was _boring_ to him, but he did not care--he was getting _paid_ for it, anyway. The man shrugged to himself, sat back, drank the coffee, and continued to listen.

Carla had a typical morning at Woo's--filing, typing, answering the phone, welcoming a potential client, and getting coffee and bagels for Woo and the client. She _sighed_ when she thought of the coffee and bagels--it reminded her of the time that the very handsome _Darren Appleton_ came by the office almost a month ago with Woo, and she had given them the previously mentioned serving just to get _another_ peek at Darren while he was talking to Woo. Carla had not had that much luck with men, despite her attractive looks--the old adage was true, she supposed: _"Good men **are** hard to find."_ The ones she met were of the _jerkwad_ variety--they only seemed to _want--enough of **that** thinking, girl_. She could not put her finger on it, but something about Darren made her see him as a _genuinely_ good guy. Was it his deep blue _eyes_? His reddish-brown wavy _hair_? Those _perfect_ white _teeth_? Carla smiled to herself over each one of those options, almost forgetting that he also was _very wealthy_ as well--which, in a way, made her feel _better_ about herself. There was more to being involved with a guy than just him having _money_, although it certainly _didn't_ hurt for him to have some--liking a _bum_ was out of the question. She was shaken out of her dreamy-stupor by the beeping of the phone. Carla pushed the receiver button and answered it.

CARLA: Woo Detective Agency, may I help you?

VOICE: I certainly _hope_ so. _(Pauses:)_ Is this _Carla_?

CARLA: _(Frowns slightly, perplexed:)_ Why, yes it is. Who's this?

VOICE: _(Sounding friendly:)_ Hi, Carla--this is _Darren Appleton_. Is Woo there?

CARLA: _(Stunned, now excited:) Darren_--I mean, _Mr. Appleton_? Y-yes, he's in! I'll connect you to him! _(Is about to push the button to connect Darren to Woo, pauses:)_ Um, _how_ are you doing? Did you meet your birth family?

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ I'm fine, Carla--and remember, it's just _Darren_. Yes, I've met and I'm living _with_ them for the summer. Are you doing well?

CARLA: _(Very excited now:)_ Oh yes, Mr.--_Darren_! I'm fine! Er--I'll connect you to Woo--_(grows quiet while pushing the button to reach Woo:)_ it was--_nice_ talking to you, Darren.

DARREN: You too, Carla.

CARLA: _(Sighs contentedly, smiles, with her finger still on the button:) Yeah_.

WOO: _(From his office, sounding amused:) "Yeah", what_, Carla?

CARLA: _(Now panics, snaps out of it:)_ Oh, I'm _sorry_, Woo! I'm on, that is, _Darren Appleton's_ on the phone! Line one!

WOO: Darren Appleton? _(Pauses:)_ I shouldn't be surprised _(adds as an playful afterthought, chuckles:)_ either by him _calling_ me, or you _behaving_ like that _when_ he called. Patch him in.

CARLA: _(After mock-glaring at the phone for a moment:)_ Here he is, Woo. _(Pushes the connecting line)_

In the tinted window sportscar, the man nearly _spilled_ the coffee all over himself when he heard Darren Appleton first talk to Carla. He hurriedly turned up the volume on his listening device and narrowed his eyes intently.

WOO: _(Smiles:)_ Hello, Darren. I expected that you'd call me after seeing the NTSB news conference this morning. I saw it as well, and suffice it to say, I'm really _not_ surprised to hear that the NTSB rule that it was an accident.

DARREN: _(Sounding surprised:) Really_? Why?

WOO: That's what whoever hired Sanchez would want us and everyone else _to_ think. Sanchez did one _hell_ of a job with sabotaging that fuel line, I'm _sure_ of it.

DARREN: _(Sounding quiet:)_ Ah, of course, you're right. _(Pauses:)_ Do you have any leads yet?

WOO: _(Leans back in his chair, sighs:)_ We're working on it. There are some _rumors_ that Sanchez is _still_ in the L.A. area, and we're checking them all out. I'm about to go out myself and look as well. _(Pauses, looks concerned:)_ How are _you_ doing?

DARREN: _(After a pause:) Lousy_, Woo--I feel as if the walls are _closing_ in on me. The media has _harassed_ my friend Curtis and his girlfriend, my aunt Millie overseas, even the staff at the _mansion_ is getting the same treatment. _(Adds:)_ I can't even trust the _security_ at the mansion or at Appleton Towers, save for my _uncle Will, (Woo looks uneasy at this)_ because someone there might be _in_ on what happened to my parents. Then, of course, there's the _lie_ I'm giving to my birth family. _That_ more than anything else is really _bothering_ me. I'm _hating_ myself for doing this.

WOO: _(Sighs:)_ I can only _imagine_ what you're going through, Darren, but try to hang in there for a little while longer. The _last_ thing we need is for whoever hired Sanchez to find out about _what_ you're doing, and possibly put you and your birth family in _danger_, since you're staying with them--

DARREN: --And my _girlfriend_, Woo. I'm just _beside_ myself for _tricking_ her, too.

WOO: _(Smiles quietly:)_ Ah, you have a _new_ girlfriend as well? It's good to see you getting on with your life, Darren. _(Becomes serious, tries to be reassuring:)_ We're going to go _around_ the clock on this case, Darren, and I've already gotten two other men working on it. You're _safe_ in Lawndale, so try to remember that--also remember this is to protect your _birth family_ as well.

_Jackpot_. The man in the car smirked wickedly, and pulled out his cell phone, and began to punch some numbers. Darren Appleton's _"safety"_ was about to be put into _questionable jeopardy_.

_(Scene changes back to the arcade, about 5 minutes later)_

Daria and Jane had finished their game, (by which Jane had won) and had now started to play another game called _"Bop The Teacher"_. Both had a large rubber hammer with a wooden handle, and were using them to hit small, mechanized "teachers" that were popping in and out of holes, on a large console, getting points for each "teacher" hit. Obviously, both girls were _naturally_ drawn to this game, which enabled them to work out their _frustrations_ at their mostly _inept_ Lawndale High instructors, even giving each of the pop-up "teachers" the _same_ names as their educational "tormentors". Judging by the _worn-out_ handles on the hammers they were holding, it was quite a _popular_ game to play among the youth in and around Lawndale. Daria was leading this game, 20 to 15.

DARIA: _(Swings, smirks:)_ Take _that, "Morris"_--that'll teach you to force _me_ to do that jogging crap! _(Hits:)_ Gotcha!

JANE: _(Swings, smirks:)_ You're goin' _down, "Li"! (Hits:)_ Hooza!

DARIA: _(While swinging:)_ Darren's taking an awfully _long_ time, don't you think? Damn--missed _"DeMartino"_!

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ Maybe I oughta _check_, eh? _(Hits:)_ Oop, there it _is, "Phelps"_!

_(Note to reader: Mr. Phelps, a math teacher, is from Kara Wild's wonderful fanfic, "Of Absolute Value"--being Quinn and Jane's math teacher, according to Kara)_

DARIA: _(Swings again:)_ You've got a _dirty_ mind, Lane. _(Hits:) Burn in hell, "Manson"_!

JANE: _(Swings, sneers:)_ And your _point_ is--? _(The pop-ups stop, she looks at score:)_ Hmm--you won. _(She and Daria give hammers back to arcade man:)_ Another game?

DARIA: Well, I--

VOICE: _(From the side:) Helloooo, laaaaaadies_!

DARIA: _(Looks at where the voice came from:)_ Heads up--here comes the _one_ person we wouldn't want to see in our _nightmares_--

JANE: _(Arches an eyebrow:)_ --Or anywhere _else_, real _or_ imagined. _(Pauses:)_ Maybe we shouldn't have given up those hammers so _soon_, Daria. _(Daria smirks at Jane)_

_Charles Ruttheimer III_, better known to the denizens of Lawndale High (and to some on the _outside_ of it, especially at the _porno_ shops) as _Upchuck_, strolled up in his usual "loverboy" mode to Daria and Jane. He grinned with the look of a hungary _tiger_, waiting to _pounce_ on its prey--in this case, both of them. Both girls looked at each other, and rolled their eyes in disgust.

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ Hey, Upchuck--we see you've returned from your vacation with your family--

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ --Yeah--when are you going _back_?

UPCHUCK: _Grrrrrr--fiesty_! Nay, me and my folks have just come back from Hawaii, and we're here for the rest of the summer! _(Puts his hand on his chest:)_ Both of you can now have the _'Ol Chuckster_ to yourselves! I've returned, and I'm a _raaarin'_ to go! You gals have entered into my _lair_, and now you should consider yourselves _caught_! Rrrrrr!

DARIA: I don't recall us entering _willingly_ into your _"lair"_--you obviously have us confused with someone or _something_ else. Maybe with your _real_ female companions--like, say, the _gorillas_?

JANE: Yeah, you're in the _wrong_ place, _"Chucky-boy"--(points:)_ though it probably wouldn't be _fair_ to the female apes for us to do this, I must inform you the _zoo's_ in _that_ direction. Go, and find your _true_ love.

UPCHUCK: _(Whines, stretches out his arms:)_ Aw, c'moooon, you _luscious_ lovelies! If you come with me on a _date_, I can give you what any gal could only _dream_ of--

DARIA: _(Smirks:) --Two_ things come right off the top of my head--your declaring that you're gonna become _celibate_ forever, and your deciding to be also _castrated_ to _enforce_ your celibacy. (Pauses while Jane tries to hold back her laughter:) Sorry, Upchuck, we're with someone _else_--use your little "pick-up" line elsewhere.

JANE: _(Sneers:)_ Why don't you go to the _dump_? You can "pick up" _anything_ there.

Darren came out of the restroom after putting his cell phone back in his pants pocket, feeling at least a little more comfortable by Woo's assurances over finding Sanchez than before. He immediately saw a grinning, scrawny and _sleezy_ looking, freckled-face, short, reddish-(almost orange-colored in nature) haired teenager that looked like a cross between _Howdy-Doody_ and _Alfred E. Neumann_ (of _Mad_ magazine) talking to Daria and Jane in the center of the arcade. Darren noticed that both girls looked slightly _agitated_, as if the fellow were giving them a hard time. Frowning slightly, more out of confusion than anger, he went over to see what was going on. Jane saw Darren coming out of the corner of her eye and smirked.

UPCHUCK: Ladies, ladies, ladies! If you're worrying that there's not _enough_ of me to go _around_, I can promise you that your concerns are _overblown_!

JANE: _(Still smirks, watches Darren coming over, which now also catches Daria's eye:)_ I have a feeling that _you're_ gonna be _blown over_ and _around_ all over the _floor_ of the arcade, Upchuck, if you don't leave.

UPCHUCK: _(Smug, puts up his index finger, waves it in a admonishing manner:) Ah-ah-ah_, Ms. Lane--this is a _public_ facility. You simply cannot _kick_ me out, my dear.

DARIA: _(Watches Darren come up, smirks:) He_ can.

DARREN: _(Cocks an eyebrow, looks Upchuck over:)_ Everything _okay_, you two?

UPCHUCK: _(Eyes Darren warily:)_ And who, pray tell, are _you_?

DARREN: _My_ name's Darren. I'm Daria's big brother, and Jane's boyfriend. _(Narrows his eyes down at Upchuck:) You_--?

UPCHUCK: _(Stunned, searches for words:)_ Uh, ah, excuse me, but did you s-say that you were the l-lovely Daria's b-big _b-brother_--

JANE: _(Grins:)_ --And _my_ boyfriend.

UPCHUCK: _(Still tries to comprehend, looks between the three:) H-how--b-but--_

DARIA: _(Smirks:) --Long_ story, Upchuck--but it _is_ true--

JANE: _(Nods her head slowly, smirks:)_ --Every _bit_ of it, "Chuckie". _(Holds her right hand up as if she is going to testify in a courtroom:) Swear_ it is.

UPCHUCK: _(Turns a little green after seeing the broad-shouldered Darren glaring at him:)_ I-I think I'll be _going_ now. _(Backs away:)_ N-nice to _meet_ you, Darren--_sir. (Quickly leaves the arcade)_

DARREN: _(Watches Upchuck go, then turns back to Daria and Jane:)_ Excuse me, but did you just call him--_"Upchuck"_, Daria?

DARIA: Um-hmm. His _real_ name is _Charles_, and how he got the name "Upchuck" is a story within itself--_somewhat. (Looks at her watch:)_ If you guys are game, we can talk about it over at _Pizza King_.

JANE: _(Rolls her eyes:) Please_, Daria--can't we talk about "The Chuckster" in Darren's car _before_ we chow down? I don't wanna risk losing my _lunch_ while we're talking about him _and_ eating, okay? _(Darren chuckles)_

DARIA: _(Shrugs, smirks:)_ Fair enough, I suppose--_(pauses:)_ of course, you _do_ realize that just _thinking_ about him after we talk in the car might not make you want to _eat_ a pizza by the time we get there?

JANE: I'll take that chance, m'dear. _(Hooks her arm with Darren's, and both leave with Daria, while some of the girls with their dates **swoon** at Darren and **glare** at Jane out of jealousy)_

_(Scene changes to the Appleton Towers, the meeting room)_

William Appleton was meeting with some Saudi businessmen at one end of the table with his secretary Lilly while Benny Lodell was sitting on the other end talking on his cell phone in a low voice, alone. He looked _stunned_.

BENNY: --And you're _sure_ about Darren Appleton asking about _Sanchez_ to Woo?

VOICE: Yessir, _no_ doubt about that. Darren Appleton _hired_ Woo to find out if the crash was an accident, and Woo knows apparently that it _wasn't_ one, which _confirms_ Mr. Appleton's fears. Woo's agency is trying to _locate_ Sanchez even as we speak--Woo told Darren Appleton that his agency is _following_ several leads.

BENNY: _(Narrows his eyes, then in a whisper, sarcastic:) Damn_--this is just--_great_! All right, anything else?

VOICE: No sir, not at the moment. You want me to _continue_ to monitor Woo's office?

BENNY: Yes. Inform me _immediately_ if something else comes up concerning Sanchez, got that?

VOICE: Yessir. _(Hangs up)_

Benny clicked off his cell phone and glanced over at William, who had caught Benny's serious-looking gaze. Benny mouthed, _"Trouble, Boss"_, and William took his cue, looking over at the businessmen, interrupting one of them.

WILLIAM: Would you _excuse_ me a moment, gentleman? My--_associate_ wishes to speak to me. I'd like to ask you to consider the offer Appleton's making to help you lay that pipeline near _Mecca_--it's quite affordable, I can _assure_ you. _(The Saudi businessmen nod, and William gets up and goes to the other end of the table to Benny)_

WILLIAM: _(Sits down beside Benny, in a low voice:)_ You said, "Trouble, Boss"--what is it?

Benny leaned over and whispered what the man who was bugging Woo's office told him in William's ear. William's face suddenly _contorted_ into a brief look of pure _rage_, something that the Saudi businessmen noticed, and looked at William with a bit of _fear_ in their faces. William promptly saw how the businessmen looked at him, and he quickly changed his attitude, addressing them in a _pacifying_ tone.

WILLIAM: _(Laughs uneasily:) Heh_--I didn't mean to _alarm_ you all with the look of my _countenance_, gentlemen. My associate just informed me that a--_(looks for words:) problem_ has developed with one of our--_employees_. You know how it is, with good help being so _hard_ to find, and such.

This explanation actually seemed to go over _well_ with the Saudi businessmen, for they began to smile, looked at each other, talked in Arabic, and went back to their consideration over taking Appleton's offer. The moment they had taken their eyes off William, he leaned over to Benny and spoke in a low voice.

WILLIAM: _Damn_ Darren _and_ Woo--_(frowns, realizes something:)_ and for that matter, _myself. (Benny looks at William, perplexed)_ I should've _remembered_ that my brother and Lucille were practically _obsessed_ with going over our jet fleet with a fine _toothcomb_ when it came to flight checks--_company policy_, remember. _(Benny now has realized what William's talking about, nods)_ Lucille lost her _uncle_ when she was young in a plane crash, and she _moaned_ and _groaned_ over it to my dear brother for _years_. I should have _known_ my _nosy "nephew"_ would've checked just in case. Tell our man on standby to _go_ to this--_"Lawndale". (Benny grins wickedly)_ I want him to _spy_ on my _so-called "nephew"_, and to get a _lay_ of the area. Tell him to do _nothing_ to Darren, to just _observe_ for now--and continue to get any _details_ on Darren's birth family. Darren _still_ doesn't know if _I_ was involved in his _"parents"_ deaths, though for some reason, I think Woo _may_ in one way or another, suspect _me_. Don't ask me _why_--I just have this _feeling_--and you _know_ my _"hunches"_ are generally almost always _right. (Pauses, looks concerned:)_ Where in the _hell_ is _Sanchez_? Why hasn't he called you yet? _Surely_ he's _seen_ the news conference.

BENNY: _(Shrugs:)_ I don't know, Boss--maybe he's just _biding_ his time, waiting until he's _certain_ the coast is clear.

WILLIAM: _(Frowns slightly:)_ I suppose I can _understand_ him doing that, but he'd better not wait _too_ long to contact you--the way Woo operates, Sanchez _will_ be located, and we simply _can't_ allow that--_(then adds as a wicked afterthought:) if_ you know what I mean.

BENNY: _(Nods slowly, gets the gist of William's inference:) Right_, Boss--anything else?

WILLIAM: Not at the moment, Benny. I'm getting back to those Saudi businessmen and close this deal.

BENNY: Okay, Boss--I'll call our man to go to this _"Lawndale"_ place and watch your _"nephew". (William gives him a quick, smug, evil smirk, gets up, and goes back to the businessmen, while Benny punches the numbers in his cell phone)_

_(Scene goes back to Lawndale)_

Over the next day-and-a-half, Daria, Jane, and Darren spent some time together during the day, with Daria and Darren reading in the public library some more (spending several hours together, getting to know one another, or what Darren _allowed_ Daria to know), and Darren and Jane going out to the movies or to a burger/pizza place at night (Daria said that she wanted them to spend some time together without her there _all_ of the time). Jane had produced a small clay sculpture of a jogging Darren that she showed to a very-flattered Darren and a smirking Daria. Jane also did some _sketches_ of Darren while he was out with her after they finished jogging together--more _"artistic inspiration"_, Daria suspected. On the side, Daria and Jane privately speculated some more as to what seemed to have _bothered_ Darren, coming up with no additional conclusions at the moment, though Daria noticed that Darren did seem a _little_ more comfortable in his demeanor. Darren also promised both he'd come to _McGrundy's_ for Mystik Spiral's appropiately-titled _"Return to the Fold Concert at McGrudy's"_ that Friday.

Meanwhile, Quinn was being _punished_ by her mother (backed up by Jake) because of Quinn's opening of the envelope that had the overall DNA results on Darren--Helen wanted to _"teach her a lesson about going through other people's mail without their permission"_. As a result, Quinn would _not_ be allowed to go out on any dates for the weekend, something that of course, had Quinn in a whiny and angry mood, claiming to having _"worked"_ hard to regain her _"popular-among-the-boys"_ reputation, only to see it _"stifled"_ by her mom _"being unreasonable"_. Darren spent time with Quinn by going over the classes Quinn would take in her junior year at Lawndale High, as well as the current fashion trends (much to Darren's private _chagrin_--more boredom). It was during this session that Quinn came up with what even Daria and Jane had to admit was _brilliant_--especially for Quinn (if they had known)--she asked (_conned_ by her charm) a reluctant Darren to speak on her behalf when he and her mom went out mid-week on their lunch "date", knowing that her brother's affect on her mother could change the tide in _her_ favor.

Between all of this, Darren had spent some more time with Jake at the Sedimentary Rock Country Club and Links, (Jake took a half-day off) _again_ allowing Jake to win the match, although Jake had his _own_ suspicions as to whether or not his son was doing so, especially after they ran into Jake's competitive "tormentor", Calvin Hopkins, and a friend, on the green. A friendly little _"wager"_ was made for the rest of the holes, and a match-play competition was born. Darren shot a 72 (even par) on the course, and with Jake's score of 81, _easily_ defeated a now-angry Hopkins, who _threw_ his bag of clubs into a pond near the 18th green. When Jake asked Darren how Darren could play so _well_ against Hopkins and his friend (not that Jake was complaining, mind you), but _not_ against Jake _himself_, Darren merely shrugged his shoulders and said that Jake's brand of play _"kind of intimidated"_ him. A now-beaming Jake patted his son on the back, and assured a kindly smiling Darren not to _"cower"_ to his _"Ol' Dad"_ on the golf course in the future, to which Darren _reluctantly_ agreed to.

On Wednesday, Darren had arrived at the law firm of _Vitale, Davis, Horowitz, Riordan, Schrecter, Schrecter, and Schrecter_, meeting every one of Helen's co-workers, including her boss, _Eric Schrecter_. Marianne was _stunned_ (surprise) at how handsome Helen's son looked, and privately, though briefly, _cursed_ herself for being _married_ and having _children_. Helen also had showed her office to Darren, and had told him of what cases they were working on. Darren was sitting by Helen's desk reading the newspaper while she was finishing up some court documents so they could then go to lunch. Helen occasionally glanced at her son _lovingly_ while watching him read--it sort of reminded her of seeing _Jake_ doing the same thing. She sighed, and went back to her work. The phone rang, and Marianne answered it while typing.

MARIANNE: Hello?

VOICE: _(Masculine, very heavy:)_ Hello, does a _Helen Morgendorffer_ work there?

MARIANNE: Yes, she does, one moment, ple--_(phone clicks off)_ Hello? _Hello_?

HELEN: _(Looks up from her work, while Darren looks over his paper:)_ Someone on the phone, Marianne?

MARIANNE: _(While hanging the phone up:)_ Somebody asked if you were here, Helen, then they _suddenly_ hung up. In all my time here, I've _never_ had _that_ happen to me before.

HELEN: Hmmm--well, perhaps the _power_ went out or something from _their_ end of the line. If they really want me, they'll call back. _(Looks at her watch, gets up:) Oh_, my! We'd better get a move on, Darren--do you mind if we go to a new restaurant called _Milligan's_? I've heard that it serves a _delicious_ beef entree. Marianne, page me if Eric needs me--are you staying _here_ for lunch?

MARIANNE: _(Thought v.o.: With all of the **work** you **usually** leave me? Do I have any choice **but** to stay here?) (Holds up her lunch bag:)_ Yes, Helen, have a good time, you two.

DARREN: _(Gets up, folds the paper:) Milligan's_ it is, let's go. _(Smiles:)_ It was nice meeting you, Marianne. _(Leaves with Helen)_

MARIANNE: _(Smiles back:)_ You too, Darren. _(Though v.o. as she watches Darren leave with Helen: Whoa, mama--that "Jane" is one **lucky** gal!)_

The 10 minute trip to _Milligan's_ was uneventful, though Helen did notice that Darren seemed deep in _thought_ over something. She thought about _asking_ him, but decided to wait until both were in the restaurant to ask.

Behind them, another car, a gray-colored Camry, was _following_ them from a distance.

When they arrived at _Milligan's_, Helen and Darren were led to and seated near the middle of the nearly-full restaurant. The place was one of those _"anything crazy-looking on the wall"_ eating establishments, with such items as old bike tires, a hat, and even a _car bumper_! Darren cocked an eyebrow at that _particular_ item. Ricky Martin's _She's All I Ever Had_ was playing low on the speakers. Both read the menus and began to order, with Helen asking for the beef shish kebab, and Darren the club sandwich. Helen then looked over at Darren and _hesitated_ for a moment. Darren noticed her reluctance, and initiated the conversation.

DARREN: _(Gives a quiet smile:)_ Something bothering you, _Helen_?

HELEN: _(Thought v.o., sighs privately to herself: Other than the fact that you're **still** calling me **"Helen"**, son?)_ It's funny you should ask _me_ that, Darren--I was going to ask _you_ the _same_ question. You seemed--to be thinking _far off_ for some reason, like something was on your mind.

DARREN: _(Slightly surprised, chuckles uneasily:)_ Was I _that_ obvious? Oh, I--guess I'm just--thinking about the _great_ time I'm having here being with you all, that's it.

HELEN: _(Narrows her eyes a bit, still not totally convinced:)_ Darren, are you _sure_ that's it? You can talk to me in _confidence_ if you want to--

DARREN: _(Grins:)_ --Oh, you mean like a _lawyer_? _(Helen rolls her eyes playfully)_ There's _nothing_ wrong. _(Thought v.o.: **Liar**.)_

HELEN: _(Looks at him a second more:)_ Well, all right, son, but you _know_ you can talk to me and _(hesitates:)_ your _father_ anytime.

DARREN: _(Smiles, reaches his hand across the table to Helen's:)_ I know, and I _thank you_ for that--I _mean_ it.

HELEN: _(Blushes slightly:)_ I--just--I just wanted you to know that Jake and I really feel like we want to be a part of your _life_ from now on. _(Darren gives a wistful smile)_ Daria and Quinn really are beginning to _bond_ with you, and you and _Jane_ are--_(looks for words:)_ well, getting--_closer_ to one another. _(Darren chuckles)_

DARREN: _(Still holds Helen's hand, in a quiet tone, takes a deep breath:)_ I--I'd _like_ for you and Jake to be a part of my life like Daria and Quinn--_(pauses:)_ and _Jane_ are beginning to be. _(Looks a little uncomfortable, pauses:)_ I--_hope_ that you and Jake can _understand_ certain--_"things"_ about me, things that I hope you can _overlook_--

HELEN: _(Frowns, perplexed:) --"Things"_, son? _What_ "things"? _(Pauses:)_ Does this have anything to do what happened to your--um, _parents_? _(Darren looks stunned)_ You haven't said anything more _about_ them, other than they died in an _accident_. I can only _imagine_ what you've gone through, son--maybe you can talk about _how_ they were, and what _happened_ to them--?

DARREN: _(Now tries to find words:)_ Well, uh--that is--I--

VOICE: _(From the side, with a bit of a sneer:)_ Now, _this_ is an _interesting_ sight, Helen--anything I should _know_ about?

Helen looked in the direction of the remark, and saw _Linda Griffin_ standing in front of her, and behind Darren, smirking.

HELEN: _(Gets up with Darren, puts on her gameface:) Ohhhh, Lindaaa_! Hellooo! Where did you come from? _(Thought v.o.: From under a **rock**, perhaps?)_

LINDA: _(Grins like the cat that swallowed the canary:)_ Oh, I'm here from my job with _Sandi_ for lunch. She went to the restroom when we first came in. _(Does a double-take when she sees Darren turn around to face her, gasps:)_ And who are _you_, young man? _(Thought v.o.: **Damn**! I have to admit, when Helen finally decided to **cheat** on Jake, she **really** cheated! This fellow's, like so **fine**--and just the **right** age for a **fling**, too.)_

DARREN: _(Extends his hand:)_ Er, hello, I'm--

HELEN: _(Jumps in:)_ --This is Darren, my _son. (Linda looks confused for a moment, but **not** necessarily shocked, shakes hands with Darren)_ I'm surprised Sandi _didn't_ tell you about him--after all, he's been here with us for about a _month_, now. _(Pauses, realizes:)_ As a matter of fact, I haven't heard _anything_ from you concerning _meeting_ my son. _(Thought v.o., smirks to herself: Maybe you'd feel **overwhelmed** by meeting him--like you **just** were, hmmm?)_

LINDA: _(While Sandi is now coming up from behind and beside her, and gives a small, dreamy smirk when she spots Darren, who looks at her stoically:)_ First of all, Helen, I have been _quite_ busy with my vice-presidential marketing job at KSBC, getting _record_ advertising revenues for the station for this quarter--as _usual. (Helen rolls her eyes)_ Secondly, this is the _first_ time I've heard that you _have_ a son. _(Helen looks surprised)_ Thirdly, Sandi told me that Darren was your _nephew_.

HELEN: _(Now shocked, wide-eyed:) WHAT_?! _(People in the restaurant look at them, Helen calms down) W-what_ did you say?

LINDA: _(Looks at Helen disdainfully:)_ You _heard_ me--your _nephew_. Isn't that _right_, Sandi?

SANDI: Like, that is so _true_. Darren said that he was Quinn's _cousin_, and Quinn like, _confirmed_ it, or something.

All eyes converged on _Darren_, who was looking _up_ at the _ceiling_.

DARREN: _(After a moment, looks back down on the others:)_ Well, uh, that's true, I _did_, but it was meant to be something of a _joke_ on _Quinn_, and--well--she asked me to _continue_ it. I really _didn't_ want to, but to Quinn, it seemed to be _important_.

HELEN: _(Frowns, perplexed:) "Joke"_, Darren? I don't understand.

SANDI: _(Ditto:)_ Yeah, like I don't either.

LINDA: _(Smirks:)_ This I'd like to _hear. (Looks at Helen:)_ Do you mind of we eat _with_ you two, Helen?

HELEN: _(Looks uneasily at an uncomfortable-looking Darren, sits down with Linda, Sandi:)_ I--don't--see why not.

DARREN: _(Grimaces, sits down slowly:)_ Ah, it's like _this_--you see--

Helen's rage began to _grow_ after she heard the story from Darren about the incident when Darren and Quinn met the Fashion Club for the first time in the Pizza King, and the aftermath of claiming Daria was her "cousin" all around school. Linda smirked, and Sandi shook her head slowly, then formed a _gradual_ smirk on her face, something that _Darren_ noticed. During this time, they were all served, and had eaten.

HELEN: _(Red-faced:)_ How _DARE_ Quinn do something like _that_--saying that Daria was her _"cousin"_ to her friends! If she thought the _envelope-opening incident_ was _something_, wait'll I get _home_! She'll be _grounded_ for the _rest_ of the summer!

LINDA: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ It seems to _me_ Helen, that this was the result of bad _parental_ guidance! _(Helen glares at Linda)_ You need to instill _stern_ discipline in your children like _I_ have with _Sandi_--for _shame_, Helen! _(Helen looks for the words to speak, but can't, so Darren intercedes)_

DARREN: No offense, Mrs. Griffin, but _I'm_ just as much to _blame_ as Quinn, if not _more_ so. I helped to _perpetuate_ her saying that _lie_ to your daugther.

Inwardly, Sandi Griffin was as _happy_ as she had _ever_ been in a long time. This was _perfect_--an _excuse_ to get _rid_ of Quinn's influence in the Fashion Club. Quinn had _lied_ to her and the Fashion Club about Darl--_Daria_ being her cousin when in fact, she was Quinn's _sister. This was just too, too bad--looks like a new vice-president was going to have to be found. Tiffany? Perfect "yes-man". Stacy? Perfect doormat. Someone else, possibly Brooke? Her nose had long since been repaired_. She'd have to consider this carefully.

_(Note to reader: Before Brooke's nose caved into her face in the episode "Too Cute", she was considered to be a **strong** candidate to replace Quinn)_

HELEN: Now, Darren, don't try to _defend_ Quinn--this--_"cousin"_ thing had happened _long_ before you came into our lives--

DARREN: --I'm _not_ defending her. I _favor_ a punishment of some sort, just that it shouldn't be so, well, _harsh. (Sees Helen looking at him, ponders:)_ I'm just asking you to _think_ about it, okay?

LINDA: _(Gets up with Sandi:) Hmmph_--well, why shouldn't I be _surprised_ that you'd _ease up_ on her, Helen? _(Now Darren glares at her with Helen)_ This has been an--_enlightening_ experience. Come on, Sandi.

DARREN: _(Gets up suddenly:)_ Uh, may I _talk_ to you for a minute, Sandi?

SANDI: _(Arches an eyebrow, then after a moment:)_ Like, I suppose. Mother, will you excuse us?

LINDA: Very well, Sandi--I'll pay for both of us, and I'll be out in the car. _(Looks at Helen, speaks coldly:) Helen. (Leaves)_

DARREN: _(To Helen:)_ I'll be back in a few. _(Leaves with Sandi while Helen looks at them go, then stares off into space, depressed over Quinn's actions)_

_(Note to reader: Any "similarities" between this fic and Kara Wild's fic "The Tie That Chokes" concerning the "cousin" thing being uncovered between Daria and Quinn are purely coincidental--there, I feel **better** now.)_

Both went to a hallway that lead off to the restrooms. Sandi followed Darren in, then folded her arms and leaned back against the wall, looking up intently at Darren.

SANDI: Like, what do you want, Darren?

DARREN: _(In a low voice:)_ I saw _how_ you looked when you heard that Quinn lied to you and your friends about Daria being her "cousin", and not her sister. _(Pauses:)_ May I _assume_ that this means Quinn's going to be _ousted_, not only as the Fashion Club's vice-president, but out, _period_?

Sandi stared at Darren for a second, inwardly impressed at his ability to see the _obvious_, then spoke.

SANDI: It's, like out of _my_ hands, Darren--_(narrows her eyes:)_ do you think a _lie_ should be _ignored_?

Darren shuddered privately at the _irony_ of Sandi's words. He briefly found himself wondering for some reason what _Daria_ would think of all of the irony.

DARREN: _No_, not by any means. I'm asking that you go _easy_ on Quinn--

SANDI: _(Smirks, cuts him off:)_ --Like your _mother_? _Why_ should I? Quinn's been nothing but a _thorn--(catches herself:)_ uh, like, she's _mislead_ us. How do we know if she's done the same thing with _fashion_, you know, like matching the right _halter-top_ with a matching set of _shoes_?

DARREN: _(Thought v.o.: **What**? Is that **all** these girls ever **think** about?:)_ Look, I think you and I _know_ that Quinn knows her fashions--_(then adds as he sees Sandi frown:)_ like _you_ do. _(Sandi then gives him an approving smirk)_ Isn't there _some_ way we can work this out, you know, so as _not_ to kick Quinn out of the Fashion Club? She _needs_ to have the Fashion Club's experience on her _transcript_ for the Fashion Institute.

SANDI: _(Now interested a little:)_ Like, what do you _suggest_, Darren?

DARREN: _(Thinks for a moment, looks around a bit:)_ Ah, how about some _money_? I could contribute to your club a small _"donation"_, or something--how about it?

Sandi thought about this for a second, then began to get a _calculating_ smirk on her face.

SANDI: _No_, I'm _not_ interested in a donation--we have like, _more_ than enough money. _Buuut--(walks slowly up to Darren, then puts her finger **seductively** onto his chest, which makes him slightly flinch back:)_ maybe we can work out something _else_.

DARREN: _(Narrows his eyes, begins to realize:)_ Oh--and what exactly _is_ this _"something else"_?

SANDI: I'll keep Quinn in the Fashion Club _with_ her position and--_(gives a small snicker:) convince_ Tiffany and Stacy to do the same--_if_ you go out on a _date_ with me this Friday night. _(Smirks:)_ Do we have like, a _deal_?

Though he knew what Sandi was eventually leading up _to_, it was still a _shock_ to actually _hear_ the offer. After a long moment, he looked down at Sandi, and sighed. Remember, this was for _Quinn, Quinn, Quinn_.

DARREN: _(Looks resigned, sighs:) Deal. (Sandi grins triumphantly) (Thought v.o.: Jane's **not** going to like this.)_


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14-Distant Rumblings

_(The scene is at the Lane's--about 30 minutes later, Jane's room)_

JANE: _(Scowls:)_ You--did--_WHAT_?!

Darren, who had come directly from taking Helen back to her job after lunch, had now stopped by the Lane's where Daria was visiting Jane, sat in a chair, while Daria was sitting on Jane's bed, who was just as stunned listening to what her brother was saying as Jane was. Jane was standing in the middle of her room.

DARREN: _(Gingerly tries to find the right words:)_ I said--I agreed to take _Sandi_ out on a _date_ this Friday night.

JANE: _(Attempts to keep her composure:)_ And run this by me _again_ as to _why_ you're doing this, Darren?

DARREN: _(Sighs:)_ To keep Quinn in the Fashion Club. She needs to have that experience on her transcript for admission to the Fashion Institute.

JANE: _(Nods her head slowly, tries to comprehend like Daria is doing as well:)_ I see--and all this came about _by--_?

DARREN: It all started _innocently_ enough--Helen and I were talking at that new restaurant _Milligan's_ during lunchtime after I picked her up from her job, and Sandi and her mother Linda Griffin had walked in. Well, Helen introduced me as her _son_, something that Mrs. Griffin and Sandi did _not_ know. _(Jane looks at him, confused)_ You remember about what happened at the Pizza King when I first met the Fashion Club with Quinn? _(Jane nods, and Daria's smirk grows **wicked** at remembering the incident)_ Anyway, Linda and Sandi had been under the impression that I was Quinn's _cousin_--something that I _helped_ Sandi and her friends to believe, I'm afraid, trying to follow Quinn's wishes, which is why I feel kind of _guilty_. From the introductions, one thing led to another, and well, Helen now knows about Quinn telling everyone in your school that Daria was her cousin.

JANE: _(After a moment:) Uh-huh_. What did Helen _do_ about Quinn?

DARREN: On our way back to her job, she was still trying to _decide_. I asked her to go _easy_ on Quinn _(Daria narrows her eyes at her bro, which he sees)_. Come _on_, sis. I'm not saying Helen and Jake shouldn't _punish_ Quinn, I'm just saying that the punishment should _fit_ the crime, and not go _beyond_ that.

DARIA: _(Arches an eyebrow:)_ And what _kind_ of punishment are we talking about that should it not go _"beyond"_--?

DARREN: _(Ponders:)_ Hmmm--how about that Quinn be _forced_ to admit before the _whole_ school that you're her _sister_--that's a pretty _tough_ punishment right there, facing down your _peers_. Quinn should either _announce_ it in the auditorium at the start of your school year, or be forced to _pay_ the money you say that she's been saving for making _prints_ of _fliers_ that _proclaim_ you as being her sister to pass around to her fellow classmates. That's what I plan to _suggest_ to Helen and Jake, though they _still_ would probably want to administer their _own_ sort of punishment to her at home, which I'm guessing will be something to do with her dating and fashions.

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ Say, that's a pretty good suggestion for a punishment--_(looks at Daria:)_ it would be _worth_ it to see Quinn admit before the _entire_ student body that you're her sister, Daria--hell, I could take a _picture_ of her _shocked_ look, and paint her _angst-ridden_ face--_(adds:)_ on a _canvas_, that is--_she_ paints her _own_ face with her mascara, lipstick, and eye-liner as you well know. _(Smirks while Darren chuckles)_

Daria stared at the two for a moment, then sighed.

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ I suppose it would be a good idea--though I would've preferred her to be _flogged_. I'll back you up on that, bro.

DARREN: _(Smiles:)_ Thanks, sis.

JANE: Okay--was Quinn at your home when Darren came back from taking Helen back to her job, Daria?

DARIA: Nope. She left with Stacy to go to _Cashman's_ about 10 minutes after Big Bro left to see mom, and hasn't been back since--said something about new shoes that _"had to be seen to be believed". (Smirks:)_ I wonder if she'll _believe_ the _punishment_ she's gonna be getting soon. _(Pauses:)_ I wonder if mom will _page_ her while Quinn is out, and tell Quinn to be waiting at home when mom and dad get there from work, or just _spring_ it on her when they get in? It should make for one _hell_ of a _reality check_ for Quinn. Maybe I'll need to buy some _snacks_ when I watch her little world come crashing down _on_ her? _(Jane chuckles while Darren shakes his head slowly)_

DARREN: _(After a moment:)_ You're really going to _enjoy_ seeing Quinn _"get her's"_, aren't you, Daria? _(Jane looks at Darren, inquisitive, along with Daria)_

DARIA: _Shouldn't_ I, Darren? Quinn's had a lot of things go _her_ way for as long as I can remember, and now the _"Chickens have come home to roost". (Frowns slightly:)_ You're _damn_ right I'm going to _enjoy_ it. _(Jane raises her eyebrows, surprised at Daria's slightly bitter-sounding outburst)_

DARREN: _(Pauses, then continues:)_ You know, sis, it seems to me that _you_ should shoulder at least a _little_ of the blame for Quinn's soon-to-be current trouble. _(Daria and Jane stare at Darren **incredulously**)_

DARIA: Darren, _how_ can you _say_ that? Do you _know_ what Quinn's done _to_ me, mom and dad, our relatives, and just about everyone _else_ most of my life?

As soon as Daria had finished her words, Jane looked at her and winced, and Daria immediately wished she could take them back. Darren simply stared at her expressionlessly, then spoke in a quiet tone.

DARREN: No, I _never_ had the _chance_, sis. _(Pauses:)_ Look, what I'm saying is that you _allowed_ Quinn to keep doing the _"cousin"_ thing to you. If you had _wanted_ to, you could have _confronted_ Quinn _way_ back then and told her to _knock_ it off. Remember, you _finally_ drew the line when she tried to _manipulate_ you into passing yourself off as _my_ cousin. _(Sighs:)_ I found myself _falling_ for Quinn's charms like everyone else--partly because I found myself wanting to establish a _bond_ with her so _desperately_ like I did with _you_ and my birth parents. _You_, on the other hand, had developed a _resistance_ to her because you _knew_ her. Perhaps you felt that it wasn't _worth_ it--to _fight_ her, that it was _beneath_ you, and maybe it _wasn't_ worth it, I have _no_ idea, obviously. All I know is, while Quinn _does_ deserve to be punished, _(hesitates:) I_ wouldn't take any _pleasure_ in seeing her punished like _you_ seem to be. I told you I don't like seeing my sisters at each other's _throats_, remember?

Daria simply looked at Darren wordlessly. Darren did the same to Daria, and Jane looked between the two, not knowing _what_ to expect next. Daria then responded.

DARIA: Let me get this _straight_--basically, what you're saying is, I should feel some _sympathy_ for Quinn?

DARREN: _(Shrugs:)_ I wouldn't exactly call it _"sympathy"_, sis. Let's just call it something similar to what _Abraham Lincoln_ said to the nation in his second Inaugural Address following the Civil War concerning forgiving the former Confederate states, and allowing them back into the Union--_"The better angels of our nature". (Narrows his eyes:)_ You're _deeper_ than Quinn is, more _mature_. Why bring yourself _down_ to Quinn's level?

DARIA: _(After a pause, takes in Darren's words, smirks:)_ Quinn's _"level"_ is about the thickness of a _fiberoptic telephone cable_, which is pretty _thin_--

DARREN: _(Smirks back:)_ --And _you're_ about as _deep_ as the _Mariana Trench_. All I ask is that the _"secret"_ is now _out_--let it _go_, sis.

DARIA: _(After a moment, looks between Darren and Jane, shrugs:) Okay_, I will. _(Jane cocks an eyebrow, surprised by Daria giving in so soon)_ I'll take _solice_ in the fact that the _"secret"_ is out, and leave it at that.

DARREN: _(Relieved, smiles:)_ Thank you again, sis.

JANE: _Allllrighty_--we're past the _"cousin"_ thing, but we've _still_ gotta deal with this _"date"_ thing. Why in the _hell_ should I give my _approval_ to you to date Sandi Griffin this Friday night, the _same_ Friday night that Trent and the guys are supposed to play at _McGrundy's_?

DARREN: _(Pauses, takes a deep breath:)_ You said that Mystik Spiral is going to be at McGrundy's for a _week_. We can catch them any _other_ day. _(Gets up out of the chair, walks to Jane:)_ Jane, I _don't_ want to do this, _please_ believe me. Previously, I was under the _impression_ that Quinn didn't _need_ to be in the Fashion Club to get into the Fashion Institute, but then I delved _further_ into the _updated_ version of the Fashion Institute's website and found out that participation in a fashion club for at least _three_ years in a high school is a _mandatory_ requirement to get into the Fashion Institute. _(Pauses:)_ Jane, if it were anything _else_, I'd tell Sandi Griffin to take a _flying leap_--I can't _stand_ the girl. It's _obvious_ she wants to _"show me off"_, like some sort of _trophy_, similar to what Quinn tried to _pull off_ at the Pizza King when she introduced me to her "friends". All I ask is that you _allow_ me to do so just this once--for _Quinn_.

Jane looked up at Darren, and sighed _audibly_, exasperated. She looked over at Daria, who looked at the two, and spoke.

DARIA: Jane--_(pauses:)_ I think we both can safely say that you can _trust_ my bro--

JANE: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ --But it's _Sandi Griffin_ that I don't trust. _(Hesitates, looks at Darren:)_ I'm not _insecure_, like I told you, Darren. It's just that--I--well--

DARREN: _(Gives a quiet smile, in an assuring tone:)_ --Okay--in that case, to _soothe_ your misgivings, Jane, I may have a _solution_--how about if you two _follow_ us on our so-called "date", _out-of-sight_? You know, to just _watch_ us in case if she _"tries"_ anything--I'll even _pay_ for your expenses. _(Pauses:)_ How about it? My treat.

Daria and Jane looked at each other, surprised, then back at Darren.

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ Hell, why _not_? As long as _you're_ paying, Darren.

DARIA: _(After a moment, looks at Darren a little uneasily:)_ Um, bro? Are you _sure_ you'll have _enough_ money to take _Sandi_ out _and_ treat us? I feel kind of like a _hypocrite_ after giving Quinn the third degree over trying to take _advantage_ of you, and I wouldn't want you to go _broke_ trying to spread your _little_ bit of money like that.

DARREN: _(Waves Daria off, chuckles:)_ Nah, it's _okay_, sis--I can afford it. _(Pauses:)_ To be _honest_ with you, Sandi Griffin makes me feel--_(shudders:) uncomfortable_. I'd like for you two to be _nearby_ as some sort of _"reassurance factor"_ for me.

JANE: _(Raises eyebrows, surprised:) "Reassurance factor"_? _We_ make you feel like _that_?

DARIA: _(In deadpan tone:)_ We're losing our _effectiveness_, Lane--we used to make people feel _uncomfortable_--

JANE: _(Now in the same tone as Daria:)_ --Now we're making them feel _comfortable_, Morgendorffer. This simply _cannot_ be tolerated. _(Darren looks between the two and starts to grin, amused)_

DARIA: Agreed, Lane--any _suggestions_?

JANE: _(Starts to walk mock-meanacingly towards Darren, smirks:) Leave_ me with the subject to _interrogate_ him, Morgendorffer.

To Daria, she could tell that Jane wanted to spend some time alone with Darren--time to make herself scarce.

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Very well, Lane--I shall take my leave in your _kitchen_ to consume liquid nourishment myself via your _Kool-Aid_. Report any _findings_ to me. _(Daria leaves)_

JANE: _(Puts her arms around a smirking Darren's neck:)_ Acknowledged.

DARREN: _(Grins, looks down at Jane, holds her waist:)_ I _warn_ you--I'm a _tough nut_ to crack, Lane.

JANE: _(Wicked smirk:)_ I just _love_ a _challenge_, bub. _(Both kiss each other)_

After the kiss, Darren smiled weakly, then backed away from Jane, sighing, and looking a little unsure. Jane immediately noticed this, arched her eyebrow, smirked, and promptly inquired.

JANE: Hmmm--am I _losing_ my kissing touch? What's up? _(Thought v.o.: Are you gonna tell me what's **bugging** you, Darren?)_

DARREN: _(After a moment:)_ Jane, please don't take this the _wrong way_, but do you think we're moving--_(looks for words:)_ well, a little too _fast_ in our relationship, here? _(Jane looks surprised)_ Before you say anything, let me explain. I've been thinking that I want to like you for _you_, and not just to get past _Stephanie_, here. After all, it has been not quite _two_ months since she died, a period that I _admit_ is a relatively _short_ time to get over what happened. _(Pauses, adds:)_ I--wouldn't want to _mislead_ you. _(Thought v.o.: As if I'm not doing it right **now**. You're a **capital** rogue, Darren.)_ I _still_ have _some_ feelings for her--she'll _always_ have a _small_ place in my _heart_--I--_(hesitates:)_ hope you can _understand_ that.

Jane stared up at Darren for a moment, then let out a small, quiet, chuckle, shaking her head slowly. Now it was _Darren's_ turn to look surprised.

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ You know, I had the _same_ sort of a feeling over how I felt about you coming so "soon" after _Tom_. Though our relationship had gone downhill _steadily_ and we eventually broke up, I _still_ have _some_ feelings for him, too, and like I told you, we're going to _stay_ as friends. As far as I'm concerned, I understand _perfectly. (Darren smiles slowly, relieved, then Jane adds reluctantly, looks at him expectantly:)_ Uh--is that _it_? _(Thought v.o.: Maybe I can get you to **open up** to me?)_

Darren narrowed his eyes down at Jane for a second, and to her for the briefest of instants, it seemed to be a _pained_ look. Darren's visage then quickly changed to an appearance of _normalcy_, then he gave a quick shrug.

DARREN: Ah--_no. You_ have anything to add?

JANE: _(Thought v.o.: **Damn!** For a moment there, I thought--)_ Er, no, not really. _(Walks up to Darren, holds his hands)_

DARREN: Okay--I been thinking about something else--do you think we should tell _Trent_ about what I'm going to do Friday night? He's going to wonder about why we're _not_ there.

JANE: _(Ponders:)_ Um, I think he'll _understand_ that we won't be able to come if we tell him something's come up at the last second. I don't want what we're doing to kind of _distract_ him while he and the guys are playing.

DARREN: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ I can see what you're saying about him possibly being distracted, but are you _sure_ he won't mind?

JANE: _(Waves him off:) Naaaah_--Trent can sometimes be _out_ of it at times when he's playing. It's cool--_(smirks wickedly, puts her arms around Darren's neck:)_ now, _where_ were we?

DARREN: _(Smiles, puts his arms around Jane's waist:)_ I think we were _here--(kisses her)_

Daria went to the Lane's kitchen, and found the aforementioned Kool Aid (_cherry-favored_, in case you're wondering) in the refrigerator. She took the pitcher out, and put it on the table. Daria got a glass from the Lane's cabinet, and poured the Kool Aid into the glass. She sat down at the table and was about to drink it, when she saw Trent come into the kitchen, groggily, scratching his head. He saw Daria at the table and smiled.

TRENT: Hey, Daria--where's Janey and Darren?

DARIA: Hey, Trent--they're--_talking_ in her room. I came down here to get me something to drink. _(Pauses:)_ I assume you just rose out of bed?

TRENT: _(Reaches into the cabinet to get some coffee:)_ Yeah--we had one _hell_ of a practice last night at Max's place. I don't remember when we had a _better_ one than that before--it was really _something. (Starts to make the coffee)_

DARIA: _(After a moment, hesitates:)_ Trent, is it _me_, or do I sense that you and the guys seem to have a _new_ sort of--_vitality_ added on to your music? Darren, Jane and I heard you guys the other day while you practiced here, _(Trent cocks an eyebrow at Daria)_ and it's like, Mystik Spiral's got a new type of _purpose_ to play, or something?

Trent stared at Daria for a moment, then slowly _smiled_, sitting at the table across from her. Daria felt that ever-so-tiny _"lump"_ in her chest again--though she _knew_ it was _nowhere_ nearly as strong as it _used_ to be--damn _dormant_ feelings.

TRENT: Huh--you noticed that _too_, Daria? Janey said sort of the same thing to me a couple of days ago. Yeah, you can say things are a _lot_ better with our music now. Man, I tell you, it's _rockin'_, Daria. it used to be that we'd play just _"to play"_, like we were going through the _"motions"_, or something, even when we were doing well on that tour we took up all the way to what happened in Reidsville. _(Pauses:)_ You know, maybe the _best_ thing that could've happened to us was what happened to the old Tank. _(Daria lowers an eyebrow at this)_ On our way back home riding on the back of that pick-up truck, we were at a point _lower_ than at any time I can remember. That experience kinda _humbled_ us, Daria.

DARIA: _(Quiet, thought v.o.: And playing at those small **carnivals** while you all were on "tour" **didn't**?:)_ Um, I suppose you felt that you guys couldn't get _any_ lower than it was, for it was the _"darkest before the dawn"_, and then suddenly there came a _"light at the end of the tunnel"_?

TRENT: _(Lights up:)_ Yeah, Daria--_exactly_! Then that _"Mysterious Benefactor"_ came in and _saved_ us! It gave us new _life_ with what he or she did. _(Grows quiet:)_ Now, we can go on and go after that _dream_.

DARIA: _(Gives a small smile:)_ I'm--_happy_ for you guys, Trent--I _really_ am. You seem to be on your _way_, now.

TRENT: Yeah, I _hope_ so, Daria--_(pauses, looks determined:)_ but we _still_ gotta work _hard_ to get where we wanna be, and practice more. We even heard some _rumors_ that a record agent might be _scoping_ us out. I dunno if that's true or not, but we're not gonna take _any_ chances on letting up. I'm glad you guys are gonna be coming to McGrundy's this Friday _(Daria looks down uncomfortably)_ --it should be our _best_ performance yet.

DARIA: Um, Trent--I meant to tell you--something _just_ came up. Jane, Darren, and I _won't_ be able to come to McGrundy's this Friday.

TRENT: _(Pauses:) Oh_. Something _really_ important?

DARIA: That depends on what you think is considered to _be "important"_. Let's just say it _can't_ be put off. _(Thought v.o.: Though I'd like to put off Quinn and Sandi on a **deserted** isle and let them fight it out to the **death**.)_ Is it okay if we take a _rain check_? You guys'll be at McGrundy's _through_ next week, and we can come anytime then, right?

TRENT: _(Shrugs:)_ Sure, Daria, no sweat--we can catch you all later. _(Gets up to boil the water to make the coffee, turns to Daria, and leans back on the counter, changes the subject:)_ So, Janey seems pretty happy being with your brother Darren. He's a _cool_ guy.

DARIA: Yeah, Darren's great--_(adds:)_ though at times, he can be a little _too_ nice for his own good--especially when it comes to helping out my sister _Quinn_. He just gets a damn _soft_ spot for her. _(Thought v.o.: Like **me** for **him**.)_

TRENT: _(Crosses his arms, ponders:)_ Hmm--well, Daria, I think I'd rather have a brother or sister that's too _nice_ than too _mean_--he could be kinda trying to _make up_ the time he missed being with you guys all those years by helping out your sister. _(Pauses:)_ Wouldn't you want him to be there for _you_ like he is for your little sister?

DARIA: _(After a moment:)_ Yeah--Darren told me and Jane kind of the same thing about Quinn before I came down here. _(Smiles slightly:)_ I guess you're right when you say a big brother is _suppose_ to be there for his little sister, Trent--like _you're_ there for _Jane_?

TRENT: _(Smiles:)_ Daria, you _know_ Janey means the _world_ to me--I'd do _all_ I could for her, and I know she'd do the _same_ for me.

At that moment, Jane and Darren walked into the kitchen, and both heard Trent's words. Jane turned a deep shade of red, and smiled sheepishly at her brother, while Darren looked over at Daria and smiled quietly. Jane walked up to Trent, and hugged him.

JANE: _(Hugs Trent:)_ Damn it, Trent, are you _trying_ to get me to go all _sappy_ here? Where in the hell did all of this _"lovey-dovey"_ crap come from?

TRENT: Daria and I were just rapping, Janey. You know that's how I _really_ feel about you, don't you?

JANE: _(Smiles uneasily while uncomfortably glances over at a now-smirking Daria and a now-grinning Darren:)_ Yeah, yeah, I do, but geez, couldn't you tell me that when _no_ one was around? Now Daria and Darren's gonna give me a _rough_ time over this _"sibling-bonding"_ thing.

DARIA: _(Still smirks:)_ Hey, what _kind_ of friend would I be if I _didn't_ give you a rough time, Jane?

DARREN: _(Still grins, comes up beside Daria:)_ Besides, why would _I_ give you a rough time, Jane? Remember, I have a middle sister that I've just found that I'm awfully _proud_ of. _(Daria cuts her eyes up at Darren, and now it's **her** turn to become red-faced) (Looks down at Daria, voice grows quiet, serious:)_ I'd do _whatever_ I could for her, too. _(Jane and Trent look at each other, then smile at Daria and Darren)_

DARIA: _(Now even **more** red-faced, [similar to the way Daria looked in "Ill"] looks up at Darren:)_ Ah, _hell_--Darren, uh--we should go back home and see if Quinn is there, you know--? _(Suddenly gets up from her chair:)_ We'll see you later, guys. _(Pushes Darren out of the kitchen)_

Jane and Trent then looked at each other, smirked, and sat down at the kitchen table.

JANE: _(Snickers, slowly shakes her head:) Poor_ Daria--she really doesn't know _how_ to handle having a _bona-fide_ bro that's _there_ for her, does she?

TRENT: Nope--but I think she'll _eventually_ figure it out, Janey. _(Changes tone and subject:)_ So, what did you and Darren _talk_ about?

JANE: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ Huh?

TRENT: Daria said you and Darren were _talking_ in your room while she was down here.

Jane's eyes got a little wide-eyed at Trent, remembering her little _"talk"_ with Darren after Daria left them in her room. She then spoke.

JANE: _(Gets in a dismissive tone, shrugs:)_ Oh, uh, we just spoke about some _art_, that's all.

TRENT: _(Stares at Jane for a moment:) Oh_.

JANE: _(Ditto at Trent, leans back in her chair:)_ Yep, just some art.

TRENT: _(Stares at Jane some more:)_ You're _not_ gonna _tell_ me what _really_ happened, are you?

JANE: _(Smirks wickedly, gets up:) Nuh-uh_--use your _imagination_, bro. I'm gonna do some painting. _(Leaves with a smug look)_

Trent watched her leave, shrugged his shoulders, then got up and went to get the now-boiling pot of water to make his coffee.

Darren and Daria's trip back to the Morgendorrfer home in Darren's car was going quietly. Daria was still gathering in her mind what Darren said to her in the Lane's kitchen--that he would do _whatever_ he could do for her, too--like Trent would for Jane. She smiled to herself over this thought, still gathering in the events of the past month. Being told by her parents that she and Quinn almost had a brother, thinking that he was stillborn. Finding out later that he was still alive, and had now found his birth parents and sisters. A generally nice, and--_handsome_ (Daria blushed at this) brother who told Daria that he was _proud_ of her, the sister who had most of her life been treated as (and she did not mind it being that way) an _outcast_. A brother who was becoming an _important_ part of her, and her family's lives. _Crap--this is becoming **unbelievable**. Me, Daria Morgendorffer, my wall that I had built up carefully over the years, only taking it down a little for Jane and Trent, have now found myself taking it down a little bit **more** for my once-thought-of-dead big brother_. Daria cut her eyes over at Darren, who was driving, and said nothing, just taking in the _new_ feelings of _sibling pride_, something she had _rarely_ experienced with Quinn (and Daria _knew_ vice-versa), that threatened to _overwhelm_ Daria. She was shaken out of her thoughts when Darren spoke.

DARREN: _(After a moment:)_ Ah--Daria, I hope I didn't _embarass_ you in front of Jane and Trent, with that, you know--

DARIA: _(Thought v.o., smirks to herself: Too late for that, bro.:)_ --Naah --it's no problem. _(Looks uneasily at Darren:)_ I--kinda--_didn't_ mind you--saying, uh--

During this time, Darren's car turned into the Morgendorffer's driveway, and simultaneously, Quinn and Stacy came out of the house to greet them. Daria gave herself a silent sigh of _relief_, especially when she noticed Darren seeing the two coming up to the car, and taking his attention off of her. Darren and Daria got out of the car.

QUINN: _(Smiles:) Hiiiii_, bro--_(gives a quick look at Daria, curt:) Daria_.

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ And a _"howdy-do"_ to you, too--_Quinn_.

DARREN: _(Gives a quick sigh, slightly annoyed with Quinn's greeting to Daria in front of Stacy:) Quinn. (Looks over at Stacy, quick smile and a nod:)_ Hello, Stacy.

STACY: _(Red-faced, looks down, in a quiet tone:)_ Um--hi, Darren, Daria. _(Takes a deep breath, then:)_ Quinn and I have been talking, and well--I just wanted to _apologize_ to you for the way I acted Monday. _(Darren looks a little surprised, Daria simply looks at Stacy expressionessly)_ I didn't mean to _act_ like that when you said that Jane Lane was your girlfriend. I just hope you can _forgive_ me.

Darren stared at her for a moment, then walked up to Stacy, and extended his hand, smiling. Stacy looked up at him, and returned the handshake, a slow smile coming on her face.

DARREN: You're _forgiven_, Stacy. _(Pauses:)_ Look, let's just _forget_ about what happened, okay? I know you're Quinn's friend, and I don't think we'd want to put her in the _middle_ of anything.

STACY: _(Grins:)_ Okay, Darren--I'm just glad we could get past this. Quinn, you're _so_ lucky to have a great _(thought v.o.: And a **gorgeous** hunk of a) cousin_! _(Quinn looks at Daria and Darren uncomfortably, while Daria gives a small smirk, and Darren simply says nothing)_

DARIA: This is a _touching_ scene and such, but if you don't mind, Stacy, Darren and I have to talk to my _(in a mocking voice:) "cousin"_ about a private family matter, _(raises her eyebrows, her voice in a dismissive tone:)_ so if you don't _mind_--?

STACY: _(Gets the message in Daria's tone of voice:)_ Oh, uh, sure. Quinn, I'll talk to you tomorrow about the _Fashion Now_ TV show that's coming up this weekend, okay?

DARIA: _(Under her breath:)_ You _hope. (Darren gives her a quick glance, and Quinn gives her a quick frown, while Stacy looks between them, a little confused)_

QUINN: Okay, Stacy--see you then. 'Bye. _(Stacy leaves while stealing one last glance at Darren)_

Quinn watched Stacy go down the street, then turned to Daria and Darren, frowning at Daria.

QUINN: Like, what's _your_ problem, Daria? Who are _you_ to get rid of my friend like _that_? I don't do the same to your art--_(looks at Darren, checks herself:)_ to _Jane_!

DARIA: _(Arches an eyebrow:)_ You're _kidding_, right? Compared to what you _usually_ do to Jane, I thought I was being _nice_ to Stacy, and we _all_ know that's a _miracle_ within _itself_ when it comes to your _"friends"_.

DARREN: _(In a soothing tone:)_ Okay, settle down, you two. _(Narrows his eyes at Quinn:)_ Quinn, I have some _bad_ news--

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ --He means _cataclysmic_ news for you, _"cuz". (Darren gives Daria a pleading, exasperated look)_ Okay, bro--no more _wisecracks. (Thought v.o.: At least not until **later**, that is--I just can't **help** myself.)_

QUINN: _(Frowns, perplexed, suddenly feels on her face:) OH NO_! What is it? Is it my _rouge_? My _mascara_? My _lip gloss_? Am I out of _fashion_? _(Narrows her eyes at Darren:)_ Don't tell me you _forgot_ to tell mom about _restoring_ my dates?

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: Substitute **"mind"** for the word **"fashion"**, and you'll be hitting on **all** cylinders, **"cuz"**--or in your case, **off** of all cylinders.)_

DARREN: _(Sighs:)_ None of the above, sis--let's just talk inside, okay? _(Goes into the house with Quinn and Daria)_

About 10 minutes later, Quinn sat back _slumped_ against the middle couch in the living room, stunned and speechless. The _"ruse"_ was over--everything concerning the _"cousin"_ thing (Daria _and_ Darren) was finally out, and that was _not_ even the _worse_ of it. Her brother--her _brother_, had decided to accept Sandi's offer to keep Quinn in the Fashion Club by going out with Sandi on a _date_, and to top _that_ off, her parents were probably going to _ground_ her for _life_--and this _after_ possibly administering the punishment Darren had suggested! This was the _worse_ nightmare Quinn had ever experienced--even _more_ than having _split ends_, and _lipstick smudges_, except that it was _not_ a nightmare, but _real_, all _too_ real. Quinn looked sheepishly over at Darren, who was sitting on the left couch, explaining, while Daria sat on the right couch, watching both of them expressionessly with her arms crossed. Darren had just finished up what he was saying when Quinn suddenly _glared_ at Daria, and _leapt_ up.

QUINN: _(Angry, points at Daria:)_ An' I just bet _you're_ enjoyin' my _predictability_, aren't ya, Daria? My life is _over_!

DARIA: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Quinn, the word is _"predicament"_, and for some reason, _(glances at Darren:)_ this doesn't seem like it was as much _fun_ as I thought it would be.

QUINN: _(Crosses her arms:)_ Oh, yeah, _riiiight_! _Suuure_ it isn't fun!

DARIA: _(Gets up, gives Quinn a serious look:)_ Quinn--listen to me just this _once_, okay? _(Quinn puts her hands on her hips, frowns, while Darren gives an inquisitive look at Daria)_ I seriously _wanted_ to _enjoy_ what would happen to to you, but well--_(gives another glance at Darren:)_ I kind of blame _myself_ a little for what happened to you as well. _(Darren smiles quietly while Quinn looks at Daria with her mouth hanging for a moment, then frowns at Daria suspiciously)_ I should have _discouraged_ you from doing the _"cousin"_ thing when you _first_ started it, but I didn't, though I kind of thought that when I made that _announcement_ in the auditorium after graduating from that "low self-esteem" class that it would do the _trick. (Pauses:)_ It was _fun_ getting _money_ from you to keep the _"cousin"_ thing secret, and I had my share of _laughs_ with Jane, but, now--I thought about it, and maybe it's time we all started to _grow up_ a little, sis. Darren was--_(hesitates:) proud_ to say that I was his sister. _(Narrows her eyes:) I'm_ willing, _always_ have been, to do the same for _you_. Why can't _you_ do the _same_ now for _me_?

_(Note to reader: Daria, of course, **did** announce in front of the school that Quinn **was** her sister in the Lawndale High auditorium in the episode "Esteemers"--more than likely, Quinn was probably able to explain it **away**, save for a few students. Hey, most of them are **shallow**, remember?)_

Quinn stared at Daria for a moment, then looked over at a stoic-looking Darren, who privately was now even _more_ proud of Daria, if that were possible. Quinn sighed, and plopped back down on the couch, looking down, resigned.

QUINN: _(Almost in a whisper, snorts, shrugs:) Yeah_, okay--why _not_? It's not I have much choice _now_, do I?

DARIA: _(Deeply frowns now, deadpan:)_ Don't knock yourself out on _my_ account--I wouldn't want you to go out of your way for _me--"cuz". (Darren moans to himself--they're about to go at it again)_

QUINN: _(Jumps up:) Look_, Daria--_if_ I accept what punishment you and Darren have come up with, not to mention if mom and dad go _along_ with it--my classmates aren't gonna look at me the _same_ way again! I _lied_ to them after all this time! _(Darren, seeing how Quinn's words have hit home, gives her a quick, pained look)_ I'll be _lucky_ if they even see me as an _outcast_ like _you_, Daria! Popularity means _everything_ to me! Don't you all _see_ that?

Quinn suddenly sat down on the couch and started to _cry_, burying her head in her hands, this time not shedding the _crocodile tears_ of trying to elicit _pity_ she usually reserved for her parents (especially Jake) in order to get something, but _real_ ones.

Daria looked down at her sister, and for the first time in a long while, felt genuinely _sorry_ for her. She could not remember the last time she saw Quinn cry, save for a moment when Daria took Quinn's (actually her) toy bear away from Quinn when Daria was eight, and Quinn was six-and-a-half. Of course, this was a rather _awkward_ situation that now had developed, and Daria was rather ill-equipped to deal with the sight before her, having put as as many emotions behind her _"wall"_ as much as possible. She was mulling over what to do when _Darren_ had gotten up and walked past her, and sat down beside Quinn, who buried her face in his shoulder, hugging him. Darren consoled her, hugging her back. Daria shrugged, went and sat down on the far end of the same couch, watching them.

DARREN: _(In a gentle tone:) Shhh_--it's okay, Quinn--it'll be all right. You'll get by this in _no_ time.

QUINN: _(While sniffling:) R-really_, Darren?

DARREN: Yes, sis--if they're your _true_ friends, _(Daria rolls her eyes at this)_ they'll _forgive_ you. _(Thought v.o.: Just as if you guys are my **loving** birth family, you'll forgive me for **my** lie--I **hope**.)_ Besides, Sandi _did_ agree to _keep_ you in the Fashion Club if I went out with her, remember?

Quinn _frowned_ at those words, and gently pulled away from Darren, getting up.

QUINN: _(Sounding a little angry:) Yeah_, I _remember_, bro--how can she _do_ that? Doesn't she know that you're seein' _Jane_? _(Daria cocks an eyebrow, slightly surprised)_ I mean, yeah, you guys said that Jane was _willin'_ to let you do it, but still, I can't believe Sandi would actually go _through_ with it!

DARIA: _(Smirks, thought v.o., **I** can.:)_ Who says that Sandi's gonna _be_ alone with our bro, sis? Jane and I are going to _follow_ him and Sandi at a _distance_ to make sure your _"president"_ doesn't try and put the _"moves"_ on him.

QUINN: _(Wide-eyed, mouth agape:)_ You and Jane are gonna _follow_ them? _(Smirks:)_ Hmmm--yeah, that'll serve Sandi _right--buuut--_

DARREN: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ --But _what_, Quinn?

QUINN: _(Frowns, considers:)_ Maybe--maybe I can _convince_ her to _not_ do this, you know? I could ask her for some sort of fashion _sabbatical_ punishment, or something--?

DARREN: _(Sighs:)_ I don't know, sis--she seemed to be _very_ determined to do this. _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ You know her _better_ than we do--do you _really_ think she would simply just _allow_ a change in punishment?

Quinn thought hard about Darren's question for a second, then slowly shook her head, looking down.

QUINN: _No_. Sandi _won't_ change her mind--though when I think about it, I wouldn't be surprised if she gave me the fashion sabbatical in _addition_ to goin' out with you--you know, to just keep up our _rules. (Pauses, looks around, tries to get out the words:)_ Maybe--maybe--I--should--should--well--um--_leave_ the Fashion Club so you won't haveta go? _(Darren, and especially Daria, look shocked)_ I know you're doin' this for _me_, bro--an' I wanna _thank_ you for puttin' yourself on the _line_ like that. _(Suddenly pulls up Darren form his sitting position and hugs him:)_ You don't have to do this, bro--you've done _more_ than enough, with helpin' me out an' stuff.

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: That's **it**--this **can't** be my **reality**. I'm having a actual talk-to-talk with Quinn, and Quinn wants to **leave** the Fashion Club to keep our bro from going out with Sandi? What's next, **Kevin** becoming a **"brain"**? If **that** happens, I'll **strip buck naked** for **Upchuck**, I **swear** I will.)_

DARREN: _(Holds her at length, looks down at her, narrows his eyes:) Hold on_, sis--let me ask you a _direct_ question, okay? _(Quinn nods)_ Do you _want_ to go to the Fashion Institute?

QUINN: O-of _course_, but--

DARREN: _(Cuts her off softly:)_ --Good, I didn't think you were going to _quit_ on me, sis. _(Pauses:)_ What good is it to do what you and I did in trying to prepare you for the Fashion Institute, and have it all go to _waste_? Don't worry about _me_, Quinn--I'll be _fine_. Daria and Jane will be there--worry about what Helen and Jake will _do_ when they come home from work.

QUINN: _(Snorts, rolls her eyes:)_ Yeah, all I have to worry about is _that_ now. _(Sighs:)_ Well, Darren, if _that's_ what you want to _do_--

DARREN: _(Smirks with Daria:) --No_, I _don't_, but I'll _survive_.

DARIA: And don't forget, _"sis"--we'll_ suggest your punishment to mom and dad, so things might not be _that_ bad.

QUINN: _(Smirks:) Hmmph_--should I kinda _worry_ about the way you _put_ that, Daria?

DARIA: _(Smirks back:)_ You know, I think I'm gonna let you _wonder_, Quinn. _(Darren looks between the two and chuckles to himself)_ And on _that_ note, I'm gonna go to my room and finish some reading and writing. _(Leaves to go upstairs)_

QUINN: I've got a--call to make, bro, 'cuse me. _(Leaves as well)_

Darren watched Quinn go into the kitchen, and then sat down to watch some TV in the living room.

Quinn picked up the cell phone on the kitchen table, and went upstairs to her room. Before she started to walk in, however, she looked around, then went in. She sighed, _dreading_ what she was about to do next, then punched some numbers. The phone rang for a few times, then it was answered.

VOICE: _(Sounding drowsy:)_ Hello?

QUINN: _(Hesitant:)_ Um, _Trent_? This is Quinn.

TRENT: _(Now a sounding like a sneer:)_ Oh, yeah--_"Daria's Sister"._

QUINN: _(Annoyed, having heard this before:)_ I _just_ told you--my name is _Quinn. (Pauses:) Look_--can I talk to _Jane_, please?

TRENT: Huh--sure--just a minute.

A minute later, Jane's voice was on the other end of the phone.

JANE: Yo--_Quinn_? What's _wrong_? _(Sounding a bit concerned:)_ Did something happen to Daria or Darren?

QUINN: Uh, no--look, I'm gonna ask you if you can give me your _word_ that what I'm about to say _won't_ reach Daria, Darren, or anyone else--_(adds as an afterthought:)_ includin' your _brother_, okay?

JANE: _(In a questioning tone:) Word_? Word about _what_?

QUINN: _(Irritated, smacks her mouth in a disgusted way:)_ Jane, would you just gimme your _word_ that you won't say _anything_ to anyone what I'm about to say to _you_?

JANE: _(Now in a slightly amused tone:) Hmmm_--you and me _sharing a secret_--I gotta admit, I'm awfully _curious_ to know what you want to tell me--

QUINN: _(Hopeful:)_ --Then I _do_ have your word you won't say anything to them?

JANE: _(Snickering sound:)_ Ah, hell--_why not_? Okay, I'll give you my word. So, lemme have it.

QUINN: _(After taking a deep breath, closes her eyes:) Ijustwantedtothankyouforlettin'mybrogooutwithSandiFridaynighttokeepmeintheFashionClub!_ There! I _said_ it, an' I got your _word_ you _won't_ say anything! _'Byeee_! _(Hangs up)_

_(Scene changes to the Lane's, Jane's room)_

Jane looked at the phone with a slightly perplexed frown on her face for the briefest of moments. She caught very _little_ of what Quinn had said, but it was _just_ enough for her to put together. Jane then gave a _slow_ smirk of _realization_ to herself, and feeling a little _grateful_, as well as _stunned_ by what the _diva_ sister of her best friend and boyfriend just did. She clicked off the phone and started to paint some more at her easel just as Trent walked by the open door to her room.

TRENT: _(Smirks:)_ What did _"Daria's Sister"_ want, Janey?

JANE: _(Smirks back:)_ Oh, to just talk about _art_, Trent.

TRENT: _(Cocks eyebrow:) Art_? _(Pauses, realizes:)_ You're not gonna tell me anything about _that_ either, huh?

JANE: You're batting a _thousand_ today, bro. _(Grins)_

TRENT: _(Shrugs, gives a lopsided smile, knows when he's beaten:) Whatever_. I'm gonna go over to Nick's and practice with the guys. _(Leaves)_

Down the street from the Morgendorffer's, about several houses down, the gray-colored Camry that had followed Darren's car to and from Helen's job, the restaurant where Darren and Helen ate, to the Lane's, and then back to the Morgendorffer's, was parked. The driver, a muscular, bald, African-American man wearing dark black sunglasses, and a diamond-studded earring, was looking down at his notepad, writing something. He looked up and around, stared at the Morgendorffer's home for a moment, looked back down to his pad, and then kept writing.

_(Scene fast forwards to the Morgendorffer's, a few hours later)_

Helen stood in the middle of the living room, pacing back and forth, with a _stern_ look on her face, cutting her eyes over at Quinn. Jake, who had been told of what Quinn had done while at the office from a call by Helen, also had a stern look (out of _backing up_ Helen, of course), doing the same. He was sitting on the left couch, while Daria and Darren were sitting on the right couch. Quinn was sitting on the center couch, alone, akin to a _defendant_ in a trial, and she had an _uneasy_ look on her face. Helen and Jake found themselves somewhat _surprised_ when Darren and Daria had interceded on Quinn's _behalf_, and had requested the punishment. Helen, after _"consultation"_ with Jake, decided to _accept_ the punishment, (thanks to _Darren's_ primary influence) and allowed _Quinn_ to decide which punishment to accept. Quinn decided to take the _announcement_, seeing as it would keep her from spending any of her money to print the fliers. Daria said that she would talk to _Ms. Li_ and arrange the announcement on the first day of school, getting the matter out of the way as soon as possble, so it would not "interfere" with the rest of the school year for Quinn (who, if you will remember, had promised her brother she'd begin to crack down on her books).

The decision now was what _additional_ punishment Helen and Jake would administer on Quinn that was _separate_ from the school-related punishment. Helen motioned to Jake, and he got up, with both going over to the side of the living room, to _"consult"_ with each other again. Quinn narrowed her eyes at her parents, leaning forward, trying to figure out what they were saying, while Daria leaned over to Darren, and spoke, whispering.

DARIA: I'm thinking it's gonna be _fashion-related_, bro.

DARREN: _(Whispers back:)_ No, I think it'll be _date-related_, sis.

DARIA: _(Smirks, sees Helen and Jake break their little conversation up:)_ Guess we're gonna find out, bro.

Helen went back in the middle of the living room, standing and looking at Quinn, narrowing her eyes, while Jake sat back down on the couch, and resumed (or tried to) his stern stare, crossing his arms. Quinn glanced at both, unsure, while Daria and Darren listened intently as Helen spoke.

HELEN: _(In a firm voice:)_ Quinn, your father and I have decided to punish you additionally by not allowing _any_ purchases of clothing for the next month. _(Quinn looks devastated, her mouth agape, while Daria smirks secretly at Darren, who shrugs) Also_, you'll not date _any_ boys for the _same_ period of time, and you'll be on an _8:00 p.m. curfew_ for this time as well. _(Darren gives a smirk right back at Daria, who actually looks surprised at the additional punishments, while Quinn's eyes get **huge**, as huge as Daria has ever seen them, and Quinn jumps up, angry)_

QUINN: How could you _do_ this to me, Mom!? Wasn't tellin' everyone this fall that Daria's my _sister_ and takin' my fashions away _enough_? I _need_ fashion _and_ guys to be _popular_! Without me keeping in _practice_, I can't _do_ that! _(Outstretches her arms:) They_ both _need_ me!

DARIA: _(Deadpan, low tone to Darren out of the side of her mouth:)_ What will they do, what _will_ they do? _(Darren tries not to laugh, looks at Daria)_

_(Note to reader: Daria's little quip [said once before by her in this fic] comes from old commercials done by pitchman Karl Malden for **American Express** traveler's checks--**"Don't leave home without them"**! Do **you** remember?)_

HELEN: Then you should have _thought_ of that _before_ you did that _"cousin"_ thing to your sister! Quinn, you have to learn the _consequences_ of your actions! Right, Jake?

JAKE: _(Jumps up, points to Quinn:)_ That's _right_, honey! Quinn, listen to your mother!

QUINN: _(Grabs her hair, starts to sob:) ARRRGH_! _(Suddenly turns around and while running up the stairs:)_ I'm _never_ coming out of my room _again_! My life's _over_! _(Darren, concerned, looks as if he is going to go after her, but Daria gently grabs his arm, and a second later, a door is heard slamming upstairs)_

DARIA: _(Shakes her head:)_ Let her go, bro--she'll come _out_ of it--remember what happened after you said she was your cousin to the Fashion Club? She came around _then_, and she'll come around over this, eventually. _(Thought v.o.: And she'll probably also come around with some sort of **plan** to **con** mom and dad to cut down on her punishments)_

DARREN: _(Still looks after Quinn:)_ I--suppose you're _right_, Daria.

HELEN: _(Sighs, sits down where Quinn sat:)_ I hope we did the _right_ thing.

JAKE: _(Gets up and sits beside Helen, squeezes her shoulder:) Sure_ we did, Helen! Our sweetie will _learn_ from this ol' _bump-in-the-road_, and will come out on _smooth_ asphalt! _(Begins to look in space, gets angry, narrows eyes:)_ Unlike _me_ when it came to my _Old Man_! _(Daria and Darren look at each other uneasily) My_ road was _never_ smooth with _him_! It was always a damn _crater_, twenty-four hours a day, with _no_ let-up! Why, there was one time when I--

HELEN: _(Glares:)_ --Jake, _please_!

JAKE: _(Suddenly smiles:)_ I'm _okay_, Helen! _(Looks over at Darren with that idiotic grin:) Right_, Big Guy? _(Gives that "thumb's-up" sign)_

DARREN: _(Responds uncomfortably while Daria smirks at him:)_ Uh, _right. (Thought v.o.: I don't think I'll **ever** get used to that.)_

_(Scene changes to the office of Leonard Potter, Los Angeles, the same time)_

Leonard Potter sat at his desk, deep in thought. The past few days had been nothing short of a complete _shock_ to him--like touching a _live_ wire off of one of those _high voltage power lines_. He had been convinced that William would not _dare_ do something as _brazen_ as transfer Constance Waters, but William _showed_ him--and everyone _else_. Within the company, _questions_ were being bandied about, but Leonard _knew_ in his heart the _real_ reason--that William somehow or another had _pressured_ Constance into heading up Appleton's stake in Tsumana/Fuju--he was _sure_ of it, though he could not _prove_ it. Leonard had tried to _call_ Constance, but had found out that she was _gone_ already--more than likely _rushed_ off to Japan by William, so she wouldn't be able to _answer_ any lingering questions. Maybe after she had settled in Tokyo, he would call her and see what she _really_ knew about what William did. Leonard sighed to himself--Arthur Sr. would have _never_ done that to her, more than likely probably _promoting_ her on the spot for getting a significant share in Tsunama/Fuju.

He frowned to himself, perplexed--would _Darren_ had done that if _he_ were involved in the company right now? Leonard had wondered occasionally about the heir to the Appleton fortune, having heard from _Millie_ when she had called Leonard a few days ago that things were going _well_ for Darren while he was staying with his birth family for the summer. _Good_--that young man had been through _enough_ hell these past few weeks, and it was about _time_ he had something _good_ happen to him.

Of course, Leonard _knew_ that Darren would _not_ take over the Appleton conglomerate following the deaths of his parents. Arthur and Lucille _themselves_ had _told_ Leonard as much. Leonard remembered them both telling him once that Darren would not be ready for a few _years_, at least until he had gotten out of Eastward, and probably going to a business-only school, then getting experience by _observing_ and _learning_ the inner workings of Appleton's business. Arthur and Lucille were _terrified_ of _"The Secret"_ getting out before Darren had turned twenty-two, and they decided to _rewrite_ the will beforehand, actually having taken it _away_ from _William_, whom they were _originally_ going to give primary control to, because of his strange _"attitude"_ change following the meeting in the Florida Keys--_what_ in the world happened there that caused William to _change_ like that? Still, after the deaths of Darren's parents, it turned out to seemingly be a _wise_ choice, Darren's choosing of _William_ as Appleton Industries' new Chairman (personal bias aside)--or so he _thought_. Now, after all that had happened in almost the past month, he _wasn't_ so sure anymore. He had experienced the _"wrath"_ of William's newfounded power, and he found himself _not_ liking it _one_ bit--and he felt the _same_ thing from the private _rumblings_ of some other business people at Appleton Industries, too.

He then thought about the detective _Gerald Woo_. Obviously, Woo _suspected_ William of _some_ sort of _wrongdoing_, what, with all of those _questions_ Woo asked Leonard when Woo visited his office--but _what_? _Who_ was Woo's _client_? Could it be someone Leonard _knew_? Perhaps he should _call_ Woo to _inquire_, or maybe offer to _volunteer_ whatever assistance he could to Woo if Woo asked any _further_ questions _about_ William? It certainly couldn't hurt to _ask_ Woo--he had _little_ to _no_ work to do here, anyway. He turned on his intercom button.

LEONARD: _Hannah_, could you find the number of the detective Gerald Woo, so I can call him, please?

HANNAH: Yessir, Mr. Potter. _(Reaches for the company's phone directory)_

_(Scene changes to the Woo Detective Agency, a few minutes later)_

Carla was typing on the computer keyboard at her desk when her phone rang. In one motion, she answered it while still typing.

CARLA: Woo Detective Agency, may I help you?

VOICE: Yes--is Gerald Woo there? This is Leonard Potter, legal counsel for Appleton Industries, West coast division, and I wished to talk to him about a --_private_ matter.

CARLA: I'm sorry, but he's out for the moment, Mr. Potter--I could try and _page_ him for you--

LEONARD: _(After a moment:)_ --No, no--that's all right--I'll try again later. Please tell him I called, thank you.

CARLA: _(Stops her typing long enough to write down Leonard's name:)_ All right, I will. Goodbye, Mr. Potter. _(Hangs up, resumes typing)_

_(Scene changes to Appleton Towers, New York City, William Appleton's office, the same time)_

William Appleton was sitting at his desk with Benny standing at his side, while a nervous-looking Sam Norwood stood before them, looking in some files.

WILLIAM: _(Scowls:)_ All right, Sam--tell me I can legally _take_ Appleton away from my _"nephew"_.

NORWOOD: _(Looks up from his file with an **ashen** look on his face, sweats:)_ B-Boss, I-I-I'm s-s-sorry, but I _tried_, I r-r-_really_ tried, I _did_, b-but P-P-Potter--

WILLIAM: _(Cuts him off:) --Damn_ it, man--just _spit_ it out! _Can_ I get Appleton?!

NORWOOD: _(Looks down:) No_, sir--it's _airtight_. P-Potter covered _e-e-every_ legal base--Darren Appleton is the _sole_ heir over Appleton Industries. _(Adds quietly:)_ I did my _best_, sir. _(Cowers, while Benny cuts his eyes warily at William)_

William's visage, to the surprise of Benny and Norwood, became _expressionless_, as if _resigned_. He slowly got up, and walked around the desk, whereas Norwood suddenly became _wide-eyed_ and _terrified_. His body became _rigid_ when William walked towards, and then at the last second, _past_ him. Norwood took a deep breath and _relaxed_ when William went to one side of the office and stared at the wall for a long moment, with his hands in his dress pants pockets. Both men stared at each other, confused. In a way, to both of them, it seemed it would have been _better_ for them if their "Boss" had gone into a _rage_, having been used to seeing it _many_ times. Instead, they were greeted with a _quiet_ response--it seemed--_frightening_ to both men in a way. William then turned around, looking pointedly at a _again-afraid_ Norwood with the same expressioness look, then spoke.

WILLIAM: _(In an eerily calm tone:)_ Very well, Sam--you did your _level_ best. _(Norwood looks at him, shocked:)_ In a way, I should have _expected_ Potter to do such a _thorough_ job. Arthur Sr. always said he was the _best_ at what he did --_(quietly chuckles:)_ and who am _I_ to argue?

BENNY: _(Carefully gets out his next words, looks at Norwood uneasily, and vice-versa:)_ Uh, Boss--are you _okay_? We thought, well--

WILLIAM: _(In the same tone, cuts him off:)_ --I'm fine, Benny--just fine. _Reality_, you see, has just hit me in the _face. (Both men look at him like he's lost his mind:)_ Don't you two _morons_ know what this _means_?

NORWOOD: Uh, nooo--Boss--what _does_ it mean?

WILLIAM: _(Now shows a dark look:)_ It means _we_ deal _directly_ with my _"nephew"_ right after Sanchez--I'll get to that in a minute. _(Frowns:)_ Speaking or which, what-in-the-damn-hell is taking Sanchez so _long_ to call, Benny?

BENNY: _(Shrugs, sighs, exasperated:)_ Beats me, Boss, we--

The intercom on William's desk suddenly beeped. William walked over and pushed the receiver button.

WILLIAM: Yes, Lilly--what is it?

LILLY: A call for _Mr. Lodell_, sir.

BENNY: Thank you, Lilly. _(Goes over to the desk, picks up the phone:)_ Yes?

William walked back in the middle of the room with Norwood, waiting, while Benny talked.

BENNY: And you're _sure_ about that? _(Pauses:)_ Good work--return to your post. _(Hangs up:)_ That was our man spying on Woo--guess _who_ just called him?

WILLIAM: _(Frowns:)_ I don't have _time_ for guessing games, Benny. Who was it?

BENNY: _Leonard Potter_--he wanted to speak to Woo, but he wasn't there at the moment.

WILLIAM: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ Oh? So now _Potter's_ asking _questions_, is he? _(Pauses:)_ I'm beginning to _wonder_--is he working _with_ Darren? _(Narrows his eyes at Benny, realizes:) Wait_ a minute--_where_ was Woo?

BENNY: Our man said that he went to get a late _lunch_, and--

WILLIAM: _(Now furious:) YOU IDIOT! (Benny cowers:)_ I wanted to keep an eye on Woo at _all_ times! He could be paged by one of his men while out eating, that Sanchez has been _located_, and we might _never_ know!

BENNY: _(Tries to understand:)_ B-but Boss--you said--

WILLIAM: _(Goes up to Benny's face, grabs his coat collar:)_ --I SAID, TO KEEP AN **EYE** ON WOO! THAT MEANT AT **ALL** TIMES, NOT JUST DURING THE DAY!

BENNY: _(Completely sputters:)_ O-oh, _t-that's_ what you meant. I-I'll get _another_ man to help out the one already there, Boss.

WILLIAM: _(Snatches his hands off of Benny, still frowns:) Do_ that, you fool--you're _lucky_ that our man has said that they haven't found Sanchez yet! _(Goes back to his desk, sits down:)_ Sam, I want you to draw up some _new_ legal papers--I'm formulating a plan in my mind now on how to get Appleton Industries from my _"nephew"_, and I'll need the legal paperwork from you to make that happen--by the time everything's over and done, Darren will have _willingly_ given everything to me _legally. (Benny and Norwood look at each other)_

BENNY: _"Paperwork"_? Your "nephew" _willingly_ giving you the whole conglomerate? Boss--_(pauses:)_ what's going on? I thought you'd want to _kill_ Darren after we've dealt with Sanchez, and leave it at that.

WILLIAM: And kill him we _shall_, Benny--but it's going to involve _"persuading"_ him to see things my way, and the way I do that is to _"secure"_ the dear boy's _birth family. (Frowns:)_ Why do you think I have our man _scoping_ out all of this _"Lawndale"_? Gathering _information_ on Darren's birth family and their friends? Their _habits_ at work and at home? I want to make sure that my _"nephew"_ sees that I hold _all_ of the cards here, and that he'll have _no_ choice, other than to _sign_ the papers that Sam here will draw up that will have Darren hand over _complete_ power to me. I simply can't _trust_ the Board to vote me in power by a majority to replace Darren after he _dies_--I need what I call _"assurance insurance"._

NORWOOD: But _how_ will you do that, Boss?

WILLIAM: _(Scowls, looks up:)_ Lord, _help_ this man--_(looks directly at Norwood, talks to him like an adult speaks to a child:) didn't-I-just-say-that-we-want-to-**secure**-Darren's-birth-family? (Norwood gets an "Ohhhh" look on his face)_ That means we _kidnap_ them, and _force_ Darren to sign the papers, then we'll _kill_ him. As for his _birth family_--weeell--I haven't decided on _what_ to do with them yet--depends on if I'm in a _"good"_ mood at the time if my _"nephew"_ cooperates fully. _(Changes tone:)_ Now, gentleman, you have your assignments--hop to it. _(Benny and Norwood immediately leave)_

_(Scene changes to the Morgendorffer's, a few hours later)_

Helen, Jake, and Daria were sitting around the kitchen table finishing eating, while Darren was gathering up the dishes, and putting them in the dishwasher. (Quinn had _refused_ to come out of her room to join the others, still pouting over her punishments, and a portion was sat aside for her to eat for later.) An offer went out to _Jane_, but she was helping Trent and Mystik Spiral out on a painting a _poster_ of them that they had asked her to do to help the "promotion" of their "comeback" tour, so she respectfully declined, also adding that Darren should spend some "quality" time with his birth family, and that they'd _"make up"_ for it later, with a _sinister_ grin. Helen and Jake had offered to help clean up, but Darren had said no, insisting that _he_ clean up--he figured he owed them at least _that_ much for their hospitality while he had stayed here, not to mention the fact that he also had _prepared_ the meal, volunteering to do so, much to the surprise of the others. Jake, who primarily did the cooking in the Morgendorffer household, was _estatic_, and had tried to _help_ out in the kitchen, but was _shooed_ out by Helen after Darren had quietly asked her to do so, saying that he wanted to _"surprise"_ them with the dish. After scavenging around in the kitchen, and a quick trip to the grocery store, Darren came up with the dish he was looking for--a _sausage and rice casserole_. Daria, ever the _cynic_, had privately found herself wondering if Darren _knew_ what he was doing, putting himself on the _line_ like that, suspecting that the _real_ reason he was doing this was to get _out_ of having lasagna _again_--not that she could _blame_ him. (She was _partially_ right after asking him out of the hearing range of the others, but he assured her he _could_ cook the dish.)

After eating their portions, Darren, who had finished putting all of the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, decided to ask for their opinions, wanting complete _honesty_. Inwardly, he felt a bit of _nervousness_--would they _like_ what he had prepared? Jake _jumped_ in first.

JAKE: _(Grins, leans back in his chair and pats his stomach:)_ Darren, that was a _great_ meal! _Where'd_ you get the recipe?

DARREN: _(Thought v.o.: From **Henri**, the chef at the mansion, but you'll know that soon enough.:)_ From--a _cookbook_, and--_experimenting_ at home, and in home ec.

HELEN: Oh, Darren, that was a _superb_ dish! _(Thought v.o.: Jake can take a few **lessons** from him.)_ Daria, what did _you_ think?

Daria looked between the three for a long moment, then spoke.

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ It didn't _kill_ me, and it _was_ tasty--so, I suppose it was _okay. (Thought v.o.: Let's see now--you're an almost-too perfect nice brother, martial-arts expert, an art critic, and now a good cook who by sheer coincidence might've known these "Appleton" people who died in that jet plane crash--what **other** secrets are you **hiding**, bro?)_

HELEN: _(Glares at her for a moment, sighs loudly:)_ Why am I _not_ surprised by your reaction, Daria? I think--

JAKE: _(Inquisitive look, cuts in:)_ --Just _"okay"_, Kiddo? Your 'Ol Dad likes to think of himself as a _connoisseur_ of fine cooking, _(Helen rolls her eyes, while Daria simply stares at him, and Darren gives a little smile)_ and I gotta say I _loved_ the taste!

DARIA: _(More deadpan:)_ How's this, then--_wowee, whoopee, way-to-go, bro? Your dish **awoke** the taste buds in my mouth, filling it with culinary delight, the likes which I can only experience once in a **blue** moon? (Pauses:)_ Now, can _that_ be considered _beyond_ "okay", Dad? _(Helen frowns at Daria, while Jake tries to understand what she's said)_

DARREN: _(Laughs at Daria's remark:)_ Thanks, all of you--I appreciate your comments. I just thought you'd all would like to have something--_different_ for a change of pace. _(Thought v.o.: And **anything**, and I **do** mean anything, would've been better than **more** lasagna.)_

HELEN: _(Gets up and hugs Darren:)_ It was _different_, son--and _delicious_. Thank you _so_ much for fixing this. _(Pauses, sighs:)_ I only wished _Quinn_ could've eaten with us instead of staying upstairs in her bedroom, _angry_ at us.

DARIA: _(Smirks:) Forget_ it, Mom--we might not even _see_ Quinn until the next _"Ice Age"_--or fashion _evolution_, whichever comes the hell first. _(Drinks some water)_

HELEN: _(Frowns for a second:)_ Now, Daria--Quinn will _have_ to come out of her room soon--

JAKE: _(Cuts Helen off:)_ --Yeah, Kiddo! She's gotta _eat_, and use the--_(motions his head up, uncomfortable:)_ you know--_"potty-room". (Darren shakes his head slowly, chuckles to himself, while Helen rolls her eyes)_

DARIA: _(Gets up:)_ Gee, I'll mark down _that_ rather _historical_ moment when it occurs, Dad. I'm going up to my room.

HELEN: _(Puts the leftover on a tray, gets up as well:)_ Daria, on your way there, could you please _drop_ this off to _Quinn_? I'm sure she's _hungary_.

DARIA: _(Caught off-guard:)_ Uh--Mom--

DARREN: _(Steps in:) --I_ can--_(stops as he sees Helen give him a **sharp** look:)_ ah, I'll finish cleaning up down here. _(Turns quickly around, starts to faux-wipe the kitchen counter with a paper towel he sees on the side)_

JAKE: _(Jumps up, eager:)_ Hey, honey, _I_ don't mind--_(sees the same look as Darren did, turns immediately into the living room:)_ eh, that's _right_! There's another baseball game on the _"Prosports" Channel_! Hey, Big Guy, when you finish cleaning up, you wanna _join_ me to watch it on the ol' "telly"?

Darren glanced at Jake for a moment, then looked between the stoic-looking Daria, and the determined-looking Helen. Though he certainly had not been around long enough to _know_ his birth mother, it was _clear_ to him that she seemed to want to talk to Daria about Quinn. Best to let them converse.

DARREN: Oh, yeah--sure. _(Looks around the kitchen:)_ As a matter of fact, I've basically finished in here anyway, _(laughs uneasily:)_ with the, ah, _dishwasher_ doing the work and all, so I'll come with you right now. _(Leaves with Jake into the living room)_

Daria watched Jake and Darren go into the living room, and turned to her mother, her eyebrow cocked.

DARIA: Okay, Mom--Darren and dad have now _abandoned_ the kitchen premises. I'm guessing that you wish for me to take that leftover dish up to Quinn so I can talk to her and bring her out of her self-imposed _"funk"_, am I right?

HELEN: _(After a moment:)_ You're _partially_ right, Daria--I just don't want Quinn to hold her punishment against _you_ in particular for no _real_ reason, maybe for a _long_ while, and risk letting her anger _fester_. I'd talk to her _myself_, but--

DARIA: --She's still _PO'd_ at you, and dad, well--_(trails off)_

HELEN: _(Chuckles a little:) --Exactly_, dear--though he does mean _well_, your father, you _know_--

DARIA: --Yeah, Mom--dad could make it _worse_ without meaning to. _(Pauses:)_ Then again, _Darren_--

HELEN: _(Cuts her off:)_ --Sweetie, we _shouldn't_ ask Darren to talk to Quinn, even though I _know_ he would do it in an _instant_. This is something that I think you and Quinn should settle between _yourselves_, seeing as this _"cousin"_ thing has been going on for awhile, hmmm--?

DARIA: _(Smirks:) "Settle"_, eh, Mom? Well, I think I may have some _boxing_ gloves somewhere in my closet--

HELEN: _(Sighs, then talks in a soft admonishing tone:)_ Daria, I'm asking you to do this _verbally_, not physically. _(Holds out the tray to her, smiles quietly:)_ Do this for me _free_ just this once, okay, sweetie?

Daria stared at her mother a moment more, then sighed--that damn _conscience_ was speaking to her again.

DARIA: _(Takes the tray:)_ Okay, Mom, but don't blame _me_ if you hear any _blood-curdling_ sounds of _shouting_ and _thumping_ on the floor upstairs after a while. _(Walks away, while Helen shakes her head slowly, smirking)_

Quinn was laying down back on her bed, fuming, her arms crossed, looking at the ceiling (like _Daria_, though she did not know that). _No_ fashions. _No_ dates. A _curfew_. Why didn't they just _kill_ her and get it _over_ with? All of these three things over the span of a one whole _month_. All because she wanted to _"protect"_ her popularity by saying that Daria was her _"cousin"_ after all of this time. She bit her lower lip in frustration, then looked on her dresser at the cell phone she had kept in her room after talking to Jane. Quinn _seriously_ thought about calling _Stacy_ or _Tiffany_, eager to explain why she pretended that Daria was her _"cousin"_, possibly putting her own _spin_ on the situation to _counter_ Sandi's newfound discovery, like Quinn had done when Daria announced practically to the whole school that Quinn was her sister after the self-esteem course during their first week at Lawndale High. It was Quinn's _greatest_ effort at spin control, but it was well _worth_ it when every one of the _"popular"_ people (_especially_ Sandi,) thought that Daria was under the _influence_ of a _"medicine"_ that had _"affected her mind"_ when she had made the speech, and, as a result, Quinn had _weathered_ the _"storm"._

Quinn then rolled over onto her stomach and sighed--knowing Sandi, she _already_ probably had called Tiffany _immediately_ after finding out the truth, and then Stacy when Stacy got home from Quinn's. _One_ thing about Sandi --she _sure_ worked fast when she needed to--especially at _Quinn's_ expense, and judging by the _control_ Sandi had over those two, they'd wait until she gave her _"approval"_ to even _talk_ to Quinn--after Sandi had taken her brother out on their "date". She half-expected for _Joey, Jeffrey,_ and _Jim_--no, wait--_Jamie_ to call by now and _cheer_ her up with their _fighting_ over her, but she then remembered that they were _out_ of town with their families--_Stacy_ had told her as much while she was over--otherwise, they would have been here as soon as they heard that the "moratorium" on any guy taking her out was _over_--not that it would any good _now_, since she couldn't go _anywhere_. She painfully closed her eyes for a moment, feeling alone.

_Where_ was _Darren_? She was _sure_ he'd be up here by now, _consoling_ her. Quinn missed her big brother's soothing words, and she felt she needed it right now. She considered about talking to _Daria_ for a second, then rolled her eyes at _that_ thought. Despite her sister's little _"appeal"_ downstairs, Quinn guessed that Daria was quietly _enjoying_ Quinn's troubles--this, on top of everything else, was the _worse_ thing from Quinn's viewpoint. The _"Brainy Sister"_ was _laughing_ at Quinn behind Quinn's back. Quinn knew she couldn't _compete_ with her sister in the _"brains"_ department--(well, until Darren came into the picture, and encouraged her to study for the Fashion Institute) having given that up long ago, but knew she had the advantages of _beauty_ and _personality_ in comparison to Daria's _intelligence_--at least it was _something_ to hold in Daria's _face_--even though at times it _seemed_ to Quinn that her sister did not _care_ at all. Now, even _that_ was gone.

Suddenly, there was a knock at her door, and Quinn shot up from her bed, expecting that her "Big Bro" had arrived to cheer her up. She literally ran up to her bedroom door, and quickly opened it, smiling.

QUINN: Oh, Dar--_(sees Daria holding a tray full of food, surprised:) Daria_?

DARIA: _(Deadpan, smirks, shoves out the tray to her:)_ I hate to disappoint you, _"sis"_, but it's just _me_--the "other" sibling. Here--mom thought you'd be hungary, so she asked me to deliver your food. You can _tip_ me, oh, say--_15%_?

QUINN: _(Scowls now:) Huh_! I'll have you to know, Daria, that I'm _not--(suddenly Quinn's stomach **growls**, Daria smirks even wider at this, and Quinn turns red-faced:) uhh_--those are just--um--_diet_ sounds! That's it!

DARIA: _(Rolls her eyes:) "Diet sounds"_, you say? _(Pauses:) Uh-huh_. Well, now--I guess I can _throw out_ this sausage and rice casserole _Big Bro_ prepared, then, so those _"diet sounds"_ can continue their _"natural noises". (Begins to turn around)_

QUINN: _(Does a double-take, gasps:) Wait_! _Darren_ made _that_? _(Narrows her eyes suspiciously at Daria, who turns back around to her:)_ You're not _makin'_ this up, are you? Since when does our _brother_ know how to _cook_?

DARIA: _(Shrugs:)_ Since he got _tired_ of eating lasagna all of the damn time. _(Holds out the tray again:)_ Are you gonna take the tray or not?

After a moment, Quinn quietly took the tray, and went to her dresser, while Daria followed her in, shutting the door. Quinn, who was so _enamored_ with the aroma of the food, did not notice her sister, and began to _ravishingly_ dig into the cassarole, obviously hungary. Daria smirked at the sight and spoke.

DARIA: _(After a moment:)_ You're _welcome_. Careful, Quinn--those _"diet sounds"_ might be _"silenced"_.

QUINN: _(Goes at it, stuffs food into her mouth:)_ Boy, I'll say--this is _great_, Dar--_(startled, some bits of food come out of her mouth:) AAAGH_! You're _still_ here, Daria? What do you want?

DARIA: _(Walks by her, sits down on Quinn's bed, while Quinn watches her for a second, then resumes eating:)_ To _talk_, sis--look, I told you I wanted us to get _past_ the _"cousin"_ thing, and I _meant_ it, at least for our _brother's_ sake. _(Pauses, obviously uncomfortable with her next words, crosses her arms:)_ So, um, how _about_ it? Can't we let _bygones be bygones_?

Quinn stopped eating for a moment, and stared at her sister, not quite believing Daria to be _sincere_.

QUINN: _(Narrows her eyes:)_ You're _really_ serious about this, Daria?

DARIA: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ And _you're_ not, Quinn? _Everything's_ out, now --so why _hang on_ to the _anger_ you feel at mom and dad--and at _me_? Besides, it's _just_ a month--practically the _same_ time we've known our bro, and _that_ month has just about _flown_ by us, so it'll be over sooner than you think. You're _still_ gonna be in the Fashion Club as vice-president, and you can always--_(searches for the right words:)_ uh--_catch up_ on the latest fashion trends. _(Pauses:)_ So--what do you _want_ to do? _Keep_ the anger--or let it _go_? I'm willing to meet you _half-way_ on this--are you gonna meet me on the _other_ half?

QUINN: _(After a moment, looks as if she is under **tremendous** strain--hesitates to get out the words, sighs:) Okay_, Daria--from this moment on, in _front_ of everybody else in _public_--you an' I are--are--_(shudders slightly:) sisters. (Gives a weak smile, extends her hand:) Shake_?

DARIA: _(Gets up, extends her hand as well, smirks:) Shake. (Pauses, while her hand shakes Quinn's:)_ You know, if the others _saw_ us like this, we'd _never_ live it down.

Suddenly, as if on cue, the door _busted_ open, and a smiling _Jake_ came into the room holding his _camcorder_, and video-taping the now-startled sisters shaking hands, followed by Helen and Darren, who were also smiling.

DARREN: _(Shrugs, in a sheepish tone:)_ I _tried_ to stop them, guys, I _really_ did.

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ And a _sterling_ job you did at that, bro--I can see the _strain_ from your doing so on your face. _(Pauses:)_ I _knew_ I should have _locked_ that damn door. _(Darren laughs)_

HELEN: _(Looks as if she is about to cry:)_ Oh, girls--this is such a _beautiful_ moment! _(Rushes up to **hug** both of them)_

DARREN: _(Smirks, remembers Daria's quip about Quinn using the "potty-room":)_ Don't forget that it's a "historical" moment, too. _(Daria glares at her brother)_

QUINN: _(Horrified:) Muh--oom_! Can't you at least let me _finish_ eating? _(Glances at Jake with the camcorder:) Daddy_! Make sure you get my _good_ side! _Both_ of them!

DARIA: _(Horrified:)_ Oh, _God_--not a _"sappy-personal-loving-family-moment"--Jane_ had better _not_ see this crap, bro--I'd _never_ hear the end of it.

DARREN: _(Smirks, leans against the doorway, arms crossed:)_ Hmmm--I don't know, sis--in fact, I might just send her a _copy_ of this _"historical"_ moment to _cherish_ forever. _(Daria glares at her brother some more while Helen still holds her and Quinn, sobbing)_

The cell phone in Quinn's room suddenly rang. Darren, nearer to it than anyone, picked it up on the dresser and answered it.

DARREN: Hello--Morgendorffer residence.

VOICE: Oh, Darren--good. Like, you're the one I've been _expecting_ to talk to.

DARREN: _(Now sounding stoic:)_ Uh--hello, _Sandi. (Daria and Quinn stare at him, while Helen and Jake are still going on about **"The Moment"**, not noticing who Darren's talking to)_ Er--could you wait a moment, please? _(Covers the speaking end, looks at Helen and Jake:)_ I was wondering if you two could leave me with Daria and Quinn for a few minutes, please?

HELEN: _(After looking at Jake, releases Daria and Quinn:)_ Of course, son--who's that on the phone?

DARREN: _(At a loss:)_ Uh, well, it's, ah--

DARIA: _(Jumps in:)_ --It's _Jane_, Mom--she wants to talk to me, Quinn, and Darren about some, uh--ah--

QUINN: _(Takes over from Daria:)_ --Some _fashions_, Mom. _(Daria and Darren look at Quinn like she's insane)_ She, uh, wants my _advice_, and Daria and Darren want to hear it as well. _(Laughs uneasily, while Daria and Darren look at each other uncomfortably)_

After a second, Helen smiled, and pulled a still-video-taping Jake out of the room--she was _so_ happy about her daughters _"bonding"_, that she did not question Quinn's _weak_ reason.

HELEN: _(Leaves:)_ Well, all right, you three--tell Jane I said hello. _(Darren gives Daria and Quinn a look that says, "She brought **that**?", while Daria and Quinn look back at him as if to say, "What do **you** think"?)_

JAKE: _(Sad look:)_ Aw, Helen, I'm not even finished yet!

HELEN: _(Sighs:)_ We can get some _more_ taping done later, Jakey. _(Leaves the room, shuts the door)_

Almost instantly, Daria and Quinn gathered around Darren to listen to the conversation.

DARREN: Sorry, Sandi--something came up. I'm assuming you want to come up with a time for Friday's _(groans inwardly:)_ ah--"date"?

SANDI: _(After a moment:)_ Ummm--yes I would, Darren, and I would like to be shown a _good_ time while we're out.

DARIA: _(Leans over to Quinn, in a low voice:)_ I think our bro would rather show her the _door. (Quinn smirks)_

DARREN: _(Clenches his teeth at Sandi's impertinence:)_ Of course, Sandi--do you have any _ideas_ as to where we should go?

SANDI: _(In her usual haughty "Valley Girl" tone:)_ As a matter of fact, I _do_. We'll go to a restaurant called _Pastroni's. (Quinn's eyes light up, and her mouth hangs open, agape, while Daria drops an curious eyebrow at her reaction)_ Afterwards, we can go to a _dance_ at a nightclub called _The Haven. (Quinn frowns, now angry, balls her fists, grits her teeth)_ If I think of something _else_, I'll let you _know_ before you pick me up at my house at _7:00_ this Friday night. _(Pauses, sneering sound:)_ I'd speak to _Quinn_, but she has to understand that she's on a--_fashion sabbatical, (Quinn narrows her eyes)_ and will not be _allowed_ to speak to the other members of the Fashion Club for a _week_. I've _already_ talked to Tiffany and Stacy, and they know the _"drill". (Snickering sound:)_ Tell Quinn to _enjoy_ her sabbatical. See you then, Darren. _(Hangs up)_

DARREN: _(Looks at the phone, frowns, clicks it off, gives it to Quinn, who tosses it on her bed, annoyed) Well_, now--she certainly has all of her ducks in a _row_, doesn't she?

DARIA: Too bad she isn't _one_ of the ducks--I'd _shoot_ her down in an instant in a booth at a carnival.

DARREN: _(Chuckles softly at Daria's remark:)_ At least Quinn was _right_ about the _"fashion sabbatical"_ thing--we don't have to worry about any _other_ Fashion Club punishments Sandi might've _imposed_ on her. Quinn, do you--_(stops when he sees what Quinn is doing)_

Quinn was stomping around in her room, _furious_, while Daria and Darren watched her curiously. She spun around, and glared at them both, frustrated.

QUINN: _Damn it_! _Pastroni's_? That's the most _expensive_ restaurant in the area, even _more_ than _Chez Pierre_, an' it's not even _in_ Carter county! I've wanted some guys to take _me_ there since I came to Lawndale, but they weren't _rich_ enough! _(Pauses:)_ The _only_ reason she's doin' _that_ is to _outdo_ me when I told her an' the rest of the Fashion Club about Darren takin' me to _Chez Pierre_!

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ And the _"Can-You-Top-This"_ competition continues.

For the briefest of an instant, Darren wondered if Sandi _knew_ of his secret, wanting him to take her to an _expensive_ restaurant, then he reconsidered--this was the _deal_ they had made to keep Quinn in the Fashion Club, and Sandi was going to get all she _could_ out of it. He _froze_ for a second, thinking--did _"could"_ also mean that he'd have to go to _b--_ no, _don't go **there**. Put **that** thought completely out of your mind._ He gave a quick glance at his sisters, and they seemed to think Sandi was getting "greedy", too.

DARREN: How _far_ is this _Pastroni's_ from Lawndale, Quinn?

QUINN: _(Snorts:)_ About _30_ miles, bro. It's in nearby _Colby_ county, near Leeville. _(Pauses, scowls:)_ Then she wants to take you to _The Haven_!

DARIA: _Dare_ I ask, _where_ and how _expensive_ is _The Haven_, Quinn?

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ About _15_ miles from here, Daria, just inside Carter county--an' it's _ultra-expensive_ like _Pastroni's_! It's a _high-class teen-themed nightclub_, an' I--

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ --Let me guess--you tried to get guys to take you there, _too_, but their _pockets_ weren't _deep_ enough for _there_ as well? _(Quinn frowns at Daria, who looks at Darren, concerned:)_ Darren, I just thought of something--what Sandi is doing seems to be awfully _expensive_ here. Yeah, I know you told me and Jane that you could _afford_ this, but that was _before_ we found out that she would _demand_ the whole damn _state. Surely_ there's _no_ way you can take her out to the _boondocks_, and treat _us_ while we're following you, too? Maybe I can _convince_ Jane that we should stay _behind_--?

Darren sighed, then walked up to his sister, and, like the time he did with Daria on the front porch, when they came back from the Zen that night following Jane's kissing him, put his hands on her shoulders, and spoke to her in an _assuring_ tone. Unlike that previous time, Daria seemed to feel _comfortable_ this go-around, for she _didn't_ flinch. Quinn looked between the two, cocking an eyebrow at the exchange, privately _amazed_ that her sister did _not_ draw back--she supposed that even _Daria_ was completely at _ease_ with her brother, now, in a way like he had been there _all_ of their lives--the _same_ for Quinn.

DARREN: _(Looks down at Daria:)_ Sis, _don't_ worry--I can--_afford_ this. I _want_ you and Jane there, okay? _(Ponders, realizes:)_ Do you think Helen and Jake will _allow_ you to take their _car_ to follow us? If not, I can maybe get a _taxi_--?

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ With the way mom and dad have been _after_ me to get _out_ more, bro, I can _swing_ it. Here's the plan: You'll tell them that you're going by Jane's to take her out Friday--in your car, of course, and I'll tell them that I'm going out with a _guy_ at the same time, leaving when you do in one of mom and dad's cars, then _I_ can swing by Jane's, and pick her up, and we'll follow you to Sandi's, and then to those places. _(Quinn snorts and rolls her eyes) What_?

QUINN: _Daaaaria_! You can't just _take_ the car and say _you're_ gonna go and pick up a _guy_! It just doesn't _work_ that way! It's gotta be the _guy_ who picks up the girl, _not_ the other way around! Believe me, I _know_! Mom and dad would be kinda _suspicious_!

DARIA: Quinn, check the _calendar_--this is the year _2000_, not the turn of the _last_ century. Mom and dad _know_ that some _girls_ pick up some _guys_ in this day and age, and they're gonna be _eager_ enough to believe that I would go out with a _biker_ if that's what it would take to get me out of the damn house. _(Sneers:) You_ pick guys up _all_ of the time, right? Only you _don't_ have to drive _cars_ to do so, if you catch my _drift. (Quinn glares at her while Darren sighs to himself)_ I'll just explain that the guy's car is being _repaired_, and that he'll be riding with me.

DARREN: Then it's _settled_--I'll give you and Jane some money for gas and food, and everything will be fine, though I don't know _what_ you'll do about the _nightclub_. It could be _hard_ to try and watch us while all of those people are around, though I'll do _my_ part if Sandi tries any _hanky-panky_.

DARIA: No problem, Darren--Jane and I can _handle_ ourselves. _You'll_ be there to cover our _asses_ if something goes wrong, like say, some _idiot_, who'll be turned _down_ by me or Jane if he asks us for a _dance_, and tries to _harass_ us.

QUINN: _(Shrugs:)_ Well, I guess you guys know what you're doin'. Don't forget to get _reservations_, too. _(Goes to her dresser, pulls out the drawer, takes out a menu labeled **"Pastroni's"**, gives it to Darren:)_ Here--call 'em for you, Sandi, Daria, an' Jane. The number's on the inside of the front cover--they can take reservations _24_ hours in advance.

DARIA: _(Deadpan, smirks:)_ Quinn has a menu to the place--_why_ doesn't that _surprise_ me?

QUINN: _(Waves Daria off:)_ Daria, I have menus to _every_ expensive place in the area! _(Smirks at Darren:)_ I could've asked _Darren_ to take me to _Pastroni's_, but, hey, he's my _bro_--I couldn't do _that_ to him, could I?

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ No, I suppose you couldn't, sis. _(Pauses, looks down at the menu, opens it:)_ Now, I'll call on my phone, and--_(cocks a slight eyebrow:) oooooh_--er, _$60_ for a _steak_? _Hmm--interesting. $45_ for a bowl of _soup_? This--is--_well, now--(looks for words to speak)_

QUINN: _(Looks up dreamily, sighs:) Yeaaah_--isn't it _great_? I'll _go_ there, one day--you'll _see--_

DARIA: --Yeah, if it doesn't work out at the Fashion Institute, you can always apply for a _job_ there serving _tables_, and _fulfill all of your dreams. (Quinn looks at her disdainfully, while Darren quietly slips out to his room to call the restaurant, chuckling)_ Well, now that our little _"bonding"_ session is over, much to my _delight, (reaches to the cell phone)_ I'm gonna call Jane if Darren doesn't first, and--_(phone starts to ring)_ I do believe that phone has a _mind_ of its _own. (Clicks it on:)_ Hello?

VOICE: Um--is _Quinn_ there?

DARIA: Yes, your fellow _"fashion-Nazi"_ is here--_(looks at Quinn:)_ so much for "Lord Sandi's" _decree_--it's _Stacy. (Gives the phone to Quinn, smirks:)_ I know you'll probably be here for the rest of the _night_ talking to her, _(Quinn gives Daria a smug look)_ so I'll ask for the use of _Darren's_ phone after he finishes calling _"Restaurant Fort Knox"_. See ya. _(Leaves)_

Quinn sat down on her bed, and spoke.

QUINN: Hi, Stacy--why are you callin' _me_? Sandi's _forbidden_ you an' Tiffany from doin' so for a _week_!

STACY: _(Now becomes frantic:)_ Hey, Quinn--_I know, I know_! I realize I'm taking a _chance_ in doing this, but _why_ did Sandi want us _not_ to? _(Gasps with realization:)_ Oh, Quinn--_please_ don't tell Sandi I called!

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes, exasperated:)_ Don't worry, Stacy, I won't. _(Cocks an eyebrow, curious:)_ You mean, you _don't_ know why I can't talk to you guys?

STACY: _(Sounding like she's about to **cry**:) No_! All Sandi said was that you were under _"fashion sabbatical"_ for an entire week! _(Adds after a second:)_ You didn't wear your _lavander polyester skirt with that lemon cotton midriff shirt_, did you?

QUINN: _(Makes a face:) Ugh_! _No_ way! I'd sooner _die_ than to do _that_! _(Pauses, frowns, confused:)_ I thought for _sure_ Sandi would've said something to the both of you by now.

STACY: _(Sniffles:)_ N-no, she didn't. _(In a quiet tone:)_ W-what happened, Quinn?

QUINN: _(Sighs:)_ You might as well know, Stacy--God knows everyone else will this fall--_(hesitates, takes a deep breath:)_ Daria's my--my--my--_sister_, an' _not_ my cousin, an' Sandi _found_ out about it, an' is _punishing_ me for it. _(Thought v.o.: Just like mom an' dad are.)_

There was a long silence on the other end of the phone, and for a moment, Quinn thought Stacy did not hear her. She was about to speak again when Stacy spoke in a _very_ quiet tone, almost a _whisper_.

STACY: _(Meekly:) O-oh. (Pauses:)_ So, uh--w-what's _wrong_ with a _"brain"_ being your sister? _(Quinn looks surprised a bit at Stacy's words, then Stacy suddenly gasps:)_ T-that means Darren's _your_ brother, too? _(Squeals, then realizes:)_ Quinn, _why_ would you be ashamed of _him_ being your brother? _(Quinn looks shocked)_

QUINN: Um--Stacy, did you _hear_ what I said? _Daria's_ my sister? Yeah, Darren's my _"Big Bro"_, but--

STACY: _(Not hearing Quinn, on a roll:)_ Daria's art friend is _so_ lucky! If _I_ had a _hunky_ brother like you, I'd _brag_ about it all over Lawndale! I'd try to make guys _jealous_ by _pretending_ he was my _boyfriend_, and I'd--

QUINN: _(Looks up, tries to be patient:) --Staaacy! (Thought v.o.: Great--now I'm sounding like **Sandi**.)_ I--well, I tried to do _something_ like that when, I--um, first _introduced_ him to you all in the Pizza King.

STACY: _(Sounding confused:)_ Huh? Quinn, I don't understand.

QUINN: _(Bites her lower lip, then grimly goes on:)_ Well, Stacy, you--_see--(phone rings on the line)_ hang on, it's probably a client for my mom, or something. _(Clicks phone off, then on:)_ Hello?

VOICE: Hey...Quinn.

QUINN: _(Raises both eyebrows, surprised:) Tiffany? You're_ goin' against Sandi?

TIFFANY: _(Hesitates:)_ Um...yeah...but...would...you...not...tell--

QUINN: _(Cuts her off:)_ --Don't worry, I won't. In fact, Stacy's on the phone, too. Lemme switch on the three-way call connect, and we can _all_ talk to each other. _(Does so, pauses:)_ I hope you guys can _forgive_ me for what I'm about to _tell_ you--if you _can't_, well--_(voice trails off, looks away)_

TIFFANY: Hey...Stacy. Quinn...what...are...you...talking...about?

STACY: Hi, Tiffany! That's what I was wondering about, too.

QUINN: _(Sighs heavily:)_ Well, like I was about to tell Stacy, it happened when you guys first met Darren--

The day-and-a-half leading to Friday passed quickly. Darren had been "briefed" by a suddenly _happy-looking_ Quinn over what to expect from Sandi, such as Sandi's likes and dislikes in food and what she does and does not do on dates, based on what Quinn had heard from boys who had gone out with Sandi (after going out with Quinn _first_, of course). Darren had been able to secure the dinner reservations from _Pastroni's_ for him, Sandi, Daria, and Jane, with Daria and Jane in a spot where Sandi could not see Daria and Jane. (Secretly, Darren had made sure of the locations--that is by sending a special _"payment"_ to the restaurant's management, and insuring the preferred spots there.)

During this time also, Darren had taken out Jane at night to a movie at the _Playhouse 99_ theatre, seeing the French film, _"Les Miserables"_, a movie Jane wanted to see, just to help _reassure_ her that he had absolutely _no_ interest in Sandi--though Jane _insisted_ that she did not feel threatened by a _"shallow, egotistical, self-centered, fashion-obsessed twit like Sandi Griffin"_. He did so _anyway_, especially when Daria had privately conferred to him that Jane had appeared to be a little _depressed_, seemingly having _second_ thoughts about agreeing to the "date" while she and Daria had gone with Darren during the same day to the arcade again.

In the meantime, Daria's little plan to get the car (Helen's red SUV in this case) _worked_, with a delighted and estatic Helen and Jake, who were happy Daria was going out on her own, and all too willing to allow her to do so. At first, Helen had suggested that Daria and her "companion" go out with Darren and Jane on a _double-date_, but Daria quickly suggested that she and her "date" were going to a _different_ place than Jane and Darren. _Quinn_ also backed up Daria, and that little gesture in itself was more than enough for Helen and Jake to allow Daria to do so.

Jake had Darren come to see what a consultant does for a living, showing Darren around the office, and generally _bragged_ about his work. Darren listened politely to his birth father, occasionally smiling between Jake's loud-yet-proud boastings. A difficult-to-please, attractive, female client that wanted to try and sell a new invention about a type of eyeglass, came into Jake's office, and after seeing and talking to _Darren_, promptly gave Jake her _okay_, signing the proper papers for a contract. Jake, completely _beyond_ delighted, proclaimed to Darren that _Jake's_ selling skills went a long way in getting the contract. Just as the woman was leaving, she slipped a piece of paper into Darren's hand--it was her _phone number_! Darren looked at it, becoming wide-eyed. He quietly balled it up, and threw it into Jake's _wastebasket_.

Privately, Darren had hoped to hear something, _anything_, from Woo on Sanchez by now, but there _still_ was nothing. Darren then knew he had to be _patient_--after all, Woo _was_ doing his best. Darren decided to concentrate on getting this _ridiculous_ "date" with Sandi out of the way for Quinn, and the sooner, the better.

Darren also remembered to call his _uncle William_ about the NTSB's findings on the crash from earlier in the week, concluding that a call to him tonight would come _after_ the "date". He was getting ready for the "date" for this evening in his room with Daria, who was sitting on his bed. Darren was looking over his clothes he was going to wear when Quinn came in, smiling.

QUINN: _(In her sing-songy tone:) Hiii_, guys!

DARREN: _(Sounding a little depressed:)_ Hello, sis. _(Goes back to looking in his bag)_

DARIA: _(Smirks at Quinn:)_ You're sounding awfully _happy_ for someone who's bro is about to make the ultimate _sacrifice_ for you.

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes:) Pleeease_, Daria--I'm the _last_ person that would wanna see our bro out with Sandi tonight, you _know_ that. I'm just happy 'cause mom an' dad are lettin' me go over to _Stacy's_ tonight for a _slumber party_, an' Tiffany's comin' over there, too! _(Daria and Darren look at each other, surprised)_ I've been _workin' on_--er, _talkin'_ to mom an' dad since right after I got off th' phone with Stacy an' Tiffany.

DARREN: Ah, _that's_ why you've been sounding _happy_ the last day-and-a-half. _(Goes back to looking in his bag)_

QUINN: _(Looks away slightly:)_ Well, um--that's _partly_ true, bro. I was happy _first_ 'cause Tiffany an' Stacy _forgave_ me for lyin' to them about Daria an' you, Darrren.

DARIA: Hold the _phone_--and I don't mean the one you're always _talking_ on--you were able to get _"Dumb and Dumber"_ to _forgive_ you for lying to them, _defying_ Sandi in the process, I might add, as well as arrange this apparent _secret_ sleepover with those two--and _then_ you got mom and dad to let you get _off_ of curfew to go over to Stacy's and have your little _"fashion powwow"_? What did you do--catch mom and dad _making out_ on the couch again, and are holding _that_ over their heads as some sort of _guilt-trip_ to get them to let you go? _(Darren stops looking in his bag for a moment and looks at Daria strangely)_ I'll explain _later_, bro.

QUINN: _(Closes her eyes, shakes her head, disgusted at the thought of seeing such a sight:) EWWWWWW_! Don't _go_ there, Daria! Actually, it was 'cause of what happened between you an' me the other night, with makin' up an' all. _(Giggles:)_ I just took _advantage_ of our parent's _good_ feeling's at th' time, and my natural _charm_ took over from there!

DARIA: _(Rolls her eyes:) Naturally_.

QUINN: I still can't go out on a date for at least _two_ weeks, _includin'_ tonight, the _same_ for buyin' any clothes. Th' curfew will last for _three_ weeks, with th' exception bein' _tonight_. I tried to get mom an' dad to make it _two_ weeks as well, but mom said if I did that, I couldn't go over Stacy's tonight. So, I said I'd do it.

DARREN: _(Glances at her while looking at his dress shirts:)_ You'd trade a _day_ for a _week_, sis? I don't get it.

QUINN: _(Gets a small scheming smirk on her face:)_ Oh, tonight will be _worth_ it, bro--_trust_ me. _(Daria cocks an eyebrow at this)_

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Does the _Fashion Now_ TV show have a special on not wearing baggy _clothing_ while you have baggy _eyes_?

QUINN: _(Snorts:) Really_ funny, Daria. _(Pauses, looks her over:)_ You're not gonna wear your--ugh--_regular_ clothin' to _Pastroni's_, are ya?

DARIA: _(Gets up off the bed, twirls around with her arms stretched out, similar to a ballerina:)_ Do you _like_ it? I call it, the _"To hell with what anybody else thinks"_ look. _(Darren tries to hold back his laugh while Quinn frowns)_ And get _this:_ --I don't have to put on _any_ damn thing _else_! It's _amazing_! I've already convinced _Jane_ to do the same, too. Maybe we could both go into business convincing _others_ to do it as well! What do _you_ think? Could we pull it _off_?

QUINN: _(Clenches her teeth:)_ Damn it, Daria! _Pastroni's_ is a _high_-class restaurant! You should at least _look_ like you belong there! _(Sneers:)_ Besides, you an' Jane don't wanna draw any _attention_ to yourselves by people lookin' at you _strangely_, do ya?

DARIA: _(Sits back down:)_ People do that all the time _anyway_, Quinn. Jane and I will keep our "unique" styles, thank you. _(Quinn slowly shakes her head)_

DARREN: It's okay, Quinn--Jane and Daria will be sitting _away_ from us, out of the way. _(Looks for some pants to go with his shirt)_

QUINN: _(Walks up beside Darren, snorts:)_ Well, I suppose that's a relief--at least you guys won't _embarass_ Darren if you do draw attention. _(Looks at Darren's clothing:)_ Do you need any help with matchin' your stuff for tonight, bro?

DARREN: _(After a moment, shrugs:)_ Sure, Quinn. _(Holds up a charcoal-colored dress shirt:)_ What do think of this color with my white dress pants?

QUINN: _(Puts her index finger to the bottom of her mouth, ponders for a moment:)_ Hmmm--that could work. Maybe you can match your black coat with that.

Having just come in from work, Helen came into Darren's room smiling, and began to _beam_ with pride at seeing her daughters and son together.

HELEN: _Hellooo_, everyone! I see you're getting ready quite _early_ for your date with _Jane_, son. _(Looks at her watch:)_ It's only _5:15_ in the afternoon.

DARREN: _(Uneasily chuckles:)_ Oh, uh, right--5:15. Well, one can't afford to be _too_ unprepared, right? I'm just--looking for the right thing to wear with Quinn's help.

HELEN: I see--Daria, maybe you should be getting ready for _your_ date with--what was his _name_ again? _Martin_, I believe--?

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Yeah, Mom--and for the record, I _am_ ready. Ask _Quinn. (Darren chuckles to himself quietly)_

HELEN: _(Looks at Quinn, confused:) What--_?

QUINN: _(Sighs:)_ Never mind, Mom--I'll tell you about it later. Speaking of gettin' ready, I'd better get ready to go over Stacy's tonight. Bro, that outfit will look _perfect_ on you! Sis, um, have a good time with that _"Marty"_ fellow! Byeeee! _(Leaves)_

DARREN: Thanks, sis--have a good time.

DARIA: Yeah, don't let the _"fashion bugs"_ bite. _(Looks at Helen:)_ Where's _dad_? Is he gonna burn the late-afternoon oil, or something?

HELEN: Your father had a late after-work meeting with a client. He'll be here in another hour.

DARREN: You two have any _plans_ while we're all gone?

HELEN: _(Smirks:)_ Oh, we'll think of _something_, Darren--we'll think of something. _(Daria shudders to herself, knowing what her mom means, by **"something"**, while Darren shrugs, and tends to his clothes)_

_(Scene changes to Woo's Detective Agency, Los Angeles, about an hour later)_

Gerald Woo just came in from yet _another_ cold trail, slumping down in his chair, looking frustrated, and staring into space. It was as if the whole _ground_ had swallowed up Sanchez, for there was _absolutely_ no sign of anyone seeing him anywhere. Yet, for all of this, Woo's gut instincts told him that Sanchez _had_ to be nearby. He and his staff had checked at all of the nearby airports and bus and train stations, quietly flashing Sanchez's picture, but no people who worked at any of those places could recall seeing him--that could indicate that Sanchez was still in the L.A. area, having never left--if that were the case, _why_ had he not?

Woo and his people had also checked in any old hangouts they thought he'd be at, going back over Sanchez's history, according to his police records. They had a _small_ break when a prostitute (Woo had discovered from the hacked police files that Sanchez had a "weakness" for these types of women) told Leroy of meeting someone of Sanchez's description, but a subsequent check in a nearby hotel turned up nothing. When Woo called Leonard Potter to return Potter's call, Woo half-expected some sort of new information Potter may have had, only to receive _disappointment_ when Potter told him nothing of any value.

Woo leaned back into his chair, rubbing his face, and closing his eyes, trying to catch a quick nap. He had had very little sleep since promising Darren Appleton about working _nonstop_ on finding Sanchez. The quiet darkness became a welcome distraction, as he began to slumber off into dreamland, snoring lightly.

He was suddenly jarred out of his sleep by a smirking _Carla_, who was nudging his shoulder.

WOO: _(Blinks his eyes open:)_ Uh, whatzat, Carla? Who--

CARLA: Geez, Woo--I tried _beeping_ you, but you must've really been under. It's _David_, and he has some info about Sanchez. Line two. _(Leaves)_

WOO: _(Wipes his eyes:)_ David about Sanchez? Thank you, Carla. _(Punches line two:)_ Go ahead, David.

DAVID: Woo? I _know_ where Sanchez is.

WOO: _(Suddenly sits up, alert:)_ You _do_, David? Where?

DAVID: At some run-down apartments called--_(pauses:)_ let me make sure I wrote this down right on my pad here--the--_"Suni Apartments"_.

WOO: _(Looks up, tries to remember:) Suni_--Suni--_(realizes:)_ that _dump_? I thought it was _condemned_ by the building inspector last year! How far are you from it?

DAVID: About 15 minutes. I'm standing here at the corner of _Hikhali_ and _Nobles_ with a _vagrant_ who said that he saw Sanchez coming out of a Hispanic-themed nightclub located near the Suni night before last with a prostitute. He remembered it because the vagrant tried to ask Sanchez for some money to get some food, but Sanchez _pushed_ him down, and _kicked_ him a couple of times, then Sanchez and the prostitute left _laughing_, while the vagrant lie on the ground in pain.

WOO: _(Shakes his head slowly, frowns:) Charming_ fellow.

DAVID: _(Snorting sound:) Tell_ me about it--anyway, the vagrant happened to watch them go into the Suni, then crawled away to nurse his wounds. I guess uh--one moment, Woo--_(voice goes off:)_ what's your name, again?

VOICE: _(In the background, sounding bitter:) Lew_.

DAVID: Yeah--Lew, here--thought that calling the police would do _no_ good since he's a, well, a _"lowly"_ vagrant, and they wouldn't give a _damn_.

WOO: _(Gets up out of his seat, stretches:)_ I see. _(Pauses:)_ Does uh--_"Lew"_ want _something_ in return for his--_"troubles"_?

DAVID: Yeah--he wants about _$50_ and Sanchez's _ass_ in jail.

WOO: _(Smirks:)_ Heh--give "Lew" _$300_, and give him that number at the employment agency where I can _guarantee_ that he'll get a _job_ where he can get back on his feet--he can buy some clothes and clean himself up. Oh, and call _Leroy_ so he can join us. Stay where you are. After I call _Darren Appleton_ to let him know we found Sanchez, I'm on my way.

DAVID: I _figured_ you'd want Leroy, so I've _already_ called him. We'll be here waiting for you, Woo--and I'll see to "Lew" like you said.

WOO: Excellent, David--thank "Lew" again. See you. _(Hangs up, dials some numbers)_

_(Scene changes to the Morgendorffer's, the same time)_

Helen Morgendorffer was going over her documents from her law firm while walking down the hallway to go downstairs to be with Jake, who was now at home and fixing dinner for the two in the kitchen. The work had _piled up_ while she was on vacation, and she _still_ had not caught up yet. She wanted to finish it up as soon as possible so she could be with him for a quiet--and maybe a _sexy_ time alone with Jake, while Daria, Quinn, and Darren were out. She sighed contentedly when she thought about how they were all getting along, and how her son had helped bring Daria and Quinn closer together. As she was walking by Darren's room, the cell phone he had in there had started to ring. Helen smirked for a moment--it was the _first_ time she could recall hearing it ring. She had known that her son had used it to talk to his friends or relatives about his birth family while staying with them, but she and Jake had decided that when he was ready to discuss them, he would do so on _his_ terms--like his _adopted_ parents, and _how_ they died. She had _regretted_ privately about inquiring about them that day while they were at _Milligan's_, and it _bothered_ her slightly. Helen was about to go in his room and get Darren's cell phone when she stopped, somewhat _hesitant_--perhaps feeling that she would be _meddling_ in his private affairs if she picked up his phone. After a moment more, she quietly pushed his door open, and answered the phone--out of a sense of _curiousity_ more than anything else, maybe she could get an _idea_ about how his friends or relatives were.

HELEN: _(In her falsetto voice:) Helloooo_?

VOICE: Uh, hello--is Darren A--er, _Coverton_, there?

HELEN: No, I'm afraid not. He just left for the evening, and won't be back until later tonight. May I take a message?

VOICE: _(After a moment:)_ Yes--tell him to call _(pauses:) "G.W. about Sanchez"._ He'll know what I'm talking about, Ms.--

HELEN: _Mrs._ Morgendorffer, and you may call me _Helen_, Mr.--

VOICE: Uh, _Gerald_--Mr. Gerald. It was nice talking to you, er, _Helen_. Thank you. _(Hangs up quickly)_

Helen frowned slightly, perplexed, looked at the cell phone, then clicked it off. She scribbled what _"Mr. Gerald"_ told her on a small sheet of paper, then put it beside the charger.

HELEN: What an _odd_ man. _(Puts back the phone on the charger, then leaves the room)_

_(Scene changes to William Appleton's Park Avenue apartment, about five minutes **earlier**)_

William Appleton sat on his couch looking in some business-related files. He decided to leave the office early today to get a quick start on the weekend, having put up with a _hectic_ week, with what the NTSB "found out" about the crash, _Potter's_ attempts to supply Woo with information, which fell _flat_, (much to William's amusement) and Sam Norwood's _futile_ efforts in trying to find a legal loophole that would enable William to take the Appleton conglomerate from his _"nephew"_. Add the deal he just completed with the Saudi Arabian businessman over the pipeline near Mecca, and putting _Constance Waters_ on a plane to Japan, thus _effectively_ putting her in a corner of the world where she'd poise _no_ threat to him, not to mention speculating where that _ignoramus_ Sanchez was, and he felt he _deserved_ some time off. _Benny Lodell_ suddenly emerged from William's bathroom, wiping off his hands with a towel, then sitting down beside William on the couch.

BENNY: What do you want to do about dinner, Boss? _(Smirks:)_ Wanna _paint the town_? Find some girls, and--

WILLIAM: _(While looking in the files, cuts him off:) --No_. We have too much work still to do, so we can order in. I want--

William's cell phone suddenly rang, and he answered it.

WILLIAM: _(Curtly, while still looking in his files:)_ Yes, what is it?

VOICE: _(Sneering sound:)_ Hey there, Mr. Appleton--you're just the man I've been wanting to talk to, _not_ your little _"guard-dog"_, Lodell. I tried to call you at your office, but you were gone home already. I called Mr. Lodell's apartment, but I was told he was with you, so I called here.

WILLIAM: _(Cocks an eyebrow, now curious:)_ Eh? Who _is_ this?

VOICE: Why, don't you know me? It's _Sanchez. (William's eyes light up, and his mouth is suddenly agape, which draws Benny's attention)_ I'm calling about my _"second"_ payment.

William quickly motioned to Benny, who turned on the intercom that connected the speaker to the phone so they could both hear, much like they did when Darren had called a few weeks ago.

WILLIAM: _(Gets up, faux smile and friendly tone:)_ Why, _Julio_! _(Benny's eyes light up, gets off the couch)_ We've been _trying_ to locate you, so we can give you your second payment! Obviously, the NTSB has concluded the crash was an _accident_, so we can _close_ out our _"business"_, and go our separate ways. It was _$20,000_ as agreed upon, right?

JULIO: Well, I've been _thinking_ about that amount, and for _some_ reason, I don't think it's _enough--(William and Benny frown at each other)_ I did a _great_ job on that fuel valve, making _fools_ out of the NTSB, and no one suspected a _damn_ thing. Don't you think I deserve a little _more_ than $20,000? I'm kinda running _low_ on cash reserves here, if you know what I mean.

WILLIAM: _(Clenched teeth while talking:) Oh_? How _much_ more do you think you deserve, Julio?

JULIO: Oh, about _$200,000-- (Benny is about to say something when William motions to him to silence)_ that should make us even. What do _you_ think?

WILLIAM: _(Tries to keep his composure:) Hmmm_--that _much_, huh? Maybe--_(the phone rings on the line:)_ could you hold on for a second, Julio? There's another call coming in, okay?

JULIO: _(Begins to sound angry:)_ Hey, don't cut _me--(William cuts him off)_

WILLIAM: _(Clicks his phone on, again:)_ Yes, this this William Appleton.

VOICE: _(In the background, it's obvious there's a moving car sound interminged with the voice:)_ Boss, I'm following _Woo_ with our _other_ man in our car--Woo's _found_ where Sanchez is. What should I do? _(Benny gets a panicked look on his face, while William stays calm)_

WILLIAM: _(His voice matching his calmness, then begins to grin slowly in realization, which Benny picks up slowly, then he grins the same way:)_ Do you know _where_ Woo's going?

VOICE: A place called the _"Suni Apartments"_. Woo's going to meet his men first on the way there, and they're then going there to see Sanchez.

WILLIAM: _(Narrows his eyes:)_ Do _you_ or the man you're with _know_ where these _"Suni Apartments"_ are? Talk to your partner--this is _very_ important.

VOICE: _(After consulting with the man beside him:) Yessir_, we do.

WILLIAM: _(Grins sinisterly:) Excellent_. Hang on a second, would you? _(Clicks line to Sanchez, in a faux codensending tone:) Julio_? Are you still there?

JULIO: _(In a furious tone:)_ You're _damn_ right I am! I didn't like to be cut off like that, and--

WILLIAM: _(Cuts him off:)_ --I'm _so_ sorry for doing that--we had a _$100 million_ deal that we have to close today--you know how it is, business and all. _(Pauses:)_ You said you wanted _$200,000_, right?

JULIO: _(Sounding bitter:)_ Yeah, and if I'm cut off _again_ like that, the price will _double_, got that? _(William's visage turns dark along with Benny's)_

WILLIAM: _(Then smirks sinisterly, resumes his calm voice:)_ Of course, Julio, I understand _perfectly_. There's _no_ need for _hostility_ here, we're all _friends_. I _agree_ to your amount. _Where_ are you?

JULIO: _(Sounding stunned for a second, then delighted:)_ You DO? I mean--uh, a place called the _"Suni Apartments"_ in Los Angeles. I can meet one of your men--

WILLIAM: --Yes, of course! I'll _send_ a man over to these _"Suni Apartments"_ and have him give you what you so _richly deserve_. What's your room number?

JULIO: _(Still sounding excited:)_ Room 308, Mr. Appleton, under the name _"Gonzalez". When_ will your man be here so I can expect him? I could give him _directions_--

WILLIAM: _(Looks up, faux concern:)_ --No--no, that _won't_ be necessary. I'm _sure_ he knows _where_ it is. Now, as for when he'll arrive there--ah, say _10 minutes_? Be _sure_ to be there, now--and _stay_ in your room--we don't want to draw _attention_ from any curious tenants.

JULIO: No sweat. _(Hangs up)_

WILLIAM: _(Frowns:) "No sweat"_, indeed. _(Clicks phone back on:)_ All right--here are your orders--_eliminate_ Sanchez--he's become a _problem_, and has to be _dealt_ with, understood? Break off from Woo, and get to these damn _"Suni Apartments"_, and do the deed, then get the _hell_ out of Los Angeles as soon as you can, and meet me in this "Lawndale" place _tomorrow_ around 3:00 p.m., you understand that? I want you to get in touch with our man there, and he'll give you directions on how to get there, and what _other_ things we'll need to _deal_ with my so-called _"nephew". (Benny looks at William strangely)_

VOICE: Yessir--we'd like to add that Woo also tried to call _Darren Appleton_ about Sanchez, but he wasn't there. He left a message with Darren Appleton's birth mother.

WILLIAM: Don't trouble yourself about my _"nephew"_--at least not _yet_, anyway --I have a man watching him--you just deal with Sanchez first, got that?

VOICE: Yessir--Sanchez is as good as _gone. (Hangs up)_

BENNY: _(Comes up beside William:)_ Well, that's that, Boss--what did you mean by wanting those two with you in that _"Lawndale"_ place tomorrow? You said you wanted to deal with your _"nephew"_ personally, but I never thought you'd want to--

WILLIAM: _(In a calm voice, turns to Benny, cuts him off:)_ --No, you _didn't_ think, Benny, and I'll tell you what I'm going to do in my _own_ time, but _first_--

Before Benny knew it, William had _backslapped_ him across the face, doing it _so_ hard, that Benny had gone over the coffee table, falling down on the Oriental rug, along with the business files, and spilling a pitcherful of water that was on the table as well. He looked up at William holding his face where William hit him, stunned.

WILLIAM: _(Looks down at Benny darkly:) That_ was for _hiring_ that _exortionist_ in the first _damn_ place. I _suggested_ to you to hire a professional hit man, but you wanted someone _"cheaper"_. Well, that little "cheap" _bastard_ would've _bled_ us to death, Benny--we'd _always_ be blackmailed by Sanchez--we'd be his money "lifeline" _forever_. You were supposed to make this a _clean_ thing, Benny--no muss, no fuss. Instead, I found out I had to do the cleaning _myself_. I don't like to _sully_ my hands, Benny--save for the one that I'll have _personally_ for my _"nephew"_--otherwise, I have _others_ who can do that for me--like _you_--or so I _thought_.

BENNY: _(Speechless, looks foolish:) B-but--_

WILLIAM: _(Cuts him off:) --Shut up_. Clean up this mess, and get the _hell_ out. Don't come back until I call you tomorrow. Good night. _(Leaves the living room with a still-stunned Benny on the floor looking after him)_

_(Scene changes to Darren's car, about 15 minutes later, somewhere inside of Colby county)_

Darren was driving his car down the highway from Lawndale, trying to look straight forward, with _Sandi Griffin_ sitting beside him. He found himself stunned that Linda Griffin would _allow_ her daughter out with her dressed like this--to kind of think of it, Sandi's mom was all _for_ the "date"--even _encouraging_ Sandi to stay out as _late_ as she wanted with Darren, saying she _trusted_ "Helen's Son" _implicitly_ because of _Quinn_ telling Sandi about his "gentlemanly manners"--_thank you, dear sis_. Sandi's father _Tom Griffin_, simply said _nothing_ over this, watching Darren _sadly_--Darren drew the conclusion that he was being _intimidated_ by his wife. Sandi's brothers--what were their names again? Oh yes--_Sam and Chris_--had _peppered_ him with _"kissyface"_ questions--pure _"hilarity"_, he had thought sarcastically. Darren guessed that this was Linda's way of getting _back_ at Helen for the perceived "wrongdoing" against Sandi (he could tell the two did _not_ like one another from the restaurant meeting), and he was caught in the _middle_ of it, though Helen did _not_ know that Linda was doing so, having thinking that Darren was out on a date with _Jane_. Helen would have probably _stopped_ the "date" if she would have found out (something Darren would have jumped at if not doing this for Quinn) and that probably would _insure_ that Quinn would be out of the Fashion Club, which in turn would _hurt_ her chances of getting into the Fashion Institute.

Darren was feeling _uncomfortable_ because of what Sandi was _wearing_--a strapless off the shoulder red sequin dress with a _very_ low-cut front, her cleavage pushed up most _profusely_--covered only just enough by a white flower corsage that Darren had purchased for her (by her _insistence_ when she had called _back_ the next day to add that one little item). She wore a white cotton shawl that draped her shoulders, and strapped red high-heeled shoes. Her hairstyle was different, done in a obviously fashionable style. (The same one as in the episode "Just Add Water") It was _beyond_ clear that Sandi was _"dressed to kill"_--was she trying to close in on him _for_ the "kill"? He _shuddered_ at that thought, shaking his head quickly, and closing his eyes. He then repeated the chant he had going in his head to himself--_this was for Quinn--this was for Quinn, and Jane and Daria were following them--relax, relax_. He snapped out of his private thoughts when Sandi spoke.

SANDI: _(Looks over at him uneasily:)_ Um, Darren?

DARREN: _(Glances at her out of the corner of his eye:)_ Yes, Sandi?

SANDI: Don't I, like, look _pretty_ or something? You really haven't said a _word_ to me since we left my house.

DARREN: _(Cocks an eyebrow, somewht suprised at Sandi's straightforwardness:)_ Eh? Well, yes--yes, I suppose you _are_, Sandi. You look _very_ pretty.

SANDI: _(Smirks:)_ Thank you, Darren.

DARREN: Mind answering a question?

SANDI: Like, sure, I suppose.

DARREN: Why _me_?

SANDI: _(Narrows her eyes:)_ What do you mean, Darren?

DARREN: _Why_ me? Sandi, with _your_ looks, you could get _any_ guy you wanted--

SANDI: _(Smugly:)_ --That is _so_ true--

DARREN: _(Sighs, rolls his eyes:) --Riiight_. So, why are you doing this? Why couldn't you have just punished Quinn some _other_ way, not just by putting her on this _"fashion sabbatical"_? Something like a _suspension_--?

SANDI: _(Now with a wicked smirk:)_ Because I think that by going out with _you_ is the _worse_ thing I can _do_ to Quinn--she'll be wondering _what_ we're doing together. _(Darren frowns, and Sandi notices)_ But, well, it isn't _just_ that--you are kinda, uh, like _cute. (Looks away, flushed)_

DARREN: _(Slightly surprised by Sandi's comment:)_ Uh, ah, thanks, I'm really flattered, but I--

SANDI: _(Rolls her eyes disdainfully:)_ --Have a girlfriend _already, Joanne_, or something, right?

DARREN: _(Sounding a bit annoyed:)_ It's _Jane_, Sandi, and yes, she is my girlfriend, and before you ask, I like her because she is a genuinely _decent_ and _down-to-earth_ person with a _twisted_ sense of humor, which is actually something I find myself _attracted_ to about her.

SANDI: _(After a moment:)_ I see. _(Pauses:)_ You _can_ do _so_ much better, you know--no offense to Jo--uh, Jane. I can _offer_ you _much_ more than she can.

DARREN: _(Having heard this before, gamely goes on:)_ Oh, really--what can you offer me that she can't? _(Thought v.o.: Other than just pure **meanness**?)_

SANDI: _(In an arrogant tone, put her hand on her chest:)_ I do have the _looks_, the _charm_, and the ability to _manipulate_ others to do my bidding for you. Does _Jane_ have this?

Inside his mind, Darren _fumed_. He had encountered this type of girl _several_ times in the _country clubs_ he and his (adopted) parents had frequented during some parties--which incidentally _bored_ him to tears at times. These girls were _snobbish, rude, and arrogant,_ talking all the time about their parent's _wealth_ they were going to inherit, or _themselves_. It was not until _Stephanie_ had Darren met a girl he _really_ liked--her, and--_Jane_. It took all of his willpower not to simply _stop_ the car, and toss Sandi _out_ then and there. Instead, he gathered his words (and his temper), putting both under control, and spoke.

DARREN: Sandi, I like Jane--_period_. It's nothing _against_ you, really. _(Sighs:)_ Can't we talk about something _else_ while on our way to this _Pastroni's_, please? _(Sandi shrugs, indifferent, while Darren ponders, then:)_ How about what you're going to do _after_ high school?

SANDI: _(Startled a bit by Darren's question, cocks an eyebrow:)_ Well, I'm er--um--

DARREN: _(Smirks slightly, cuts his eyes sideways at her:)_ --Don't tell me you haven't _made_ any plans as of yet?

SANDI: _(Red-faced, indignant:)_ I _do_ have plans! I--just haven't _worked_ them out yet.

DARREN: Well, I certainly _hope_ you do soon. You _do_ know Quinn aspires to go to the _Fashion Institute--_? She's been _preparing_ to go there with my help, brushing up on her studies, and starting to take more _difficult_ classes for her junior year in your high school.

SANDI: _(Snorts:)_ Quinn wants to be a _"brain"_ now like your _other_ sister? Ha, that's _rich_! _(Darren cuts a slight scowl at Sandi)_ Wait 'till I _tell_ Stacy and Tiffany! They'll tell everyone _else_, and--

DARREN: --Er, Sandi, this is the _Fashion_ Institute--you know, what you're _supposed_ to be an _expert_ in? _(Pauses:)_ Are you telling me that there's something _wrong_ with being a _"brain"_ when it comes to being knowledgeable about _fashion_?

Sandi frowned at Darren, deep in thought, saying nothing for a long moment. Darren wondered if anything he said had _actually_ gotten through this girl's brain. Sandi then spoke, talking in a low tone.

SANDI: Um, I've--uh, been thinking about my _future_ since you asked me--I'll become a _model_, or something after high school.

DARREN: Sandi, I have to be _honest_ with you--from what my (adopted) mother told me, it is _extremely_ difficult to make it in the modeling business. I heard from Quinn that an _Amazon Modeling Agency_ came by your school once to see if they could find the next "superstar" model, and I believe that _Kevin Thompson_ guy was chosen--

_(Note to reader: See "This Year's Model", of course)_

SANDI: _(A bit angry:) --I_ should have been the _one_ to get that contract, not that _jock-boy_, Kevin! He didn't even finish it _out_, he was _soooo_ pathetic an' everythin'--

DARREN: _(Smirks:)_ --You know, that's almost the _same_ thing _Quinn_ told me. I guess you two kind of think on the _same_ wavelength, eh? _(Sandi glares at Darren for a moment)_ Look, if you pursue the world of fashion as an occupation, Sandi, then the _safest_, and eventually most _profitable_ route is something like the courses the Fashion Institute offers, such as Fashion Design, Interior Design, perhaps something like Fashion Merchandise Marketing--

Sandi, of course, was so _overwhelmed_ by the courses Darren had filled her _(air)_head with, she closed her eyes and began to _shake_ her head _violently_, unable to take anymore.

SANDI: --_Daaaren_! Please! Like, can't we talk about the _date_? I mean, aren't we on _that_? People on dates talk about _looks_ and _charm_, and--

DARREN: _(Gets a scheming look, thinks he's onto something, remembers the talk he had with Daria about the competitiveness between Quinn and Sandi:)_ --It's _okay_, Sandi, we can talk about the "date" if you want--_(adds as an faux afterthought, shrugs:)_ I understand if you believe you can't _compete_ with Quinn in fashion--

_That_ solicited the _exact_ response Darren wanted.

SANDI: _(Enraged:)_ --I can _too_ compete with Quinn, and _then_ some! _(Narrows her eyes:)_ Tell me some _more_ about those courses!

DARREN: _(Looking a little smug:)_ As you _wish_--

A little ways behind them, in Helen's SUV, Daria, who was driving, and Jane, who was in the passenger seat, were riding. Daria kept cutting her eyes over to her friend, _concerned_. Jane, her arms crossed, and glared forward, then spoke in an _irritated_ voice.

JANE: Did you see _what_ that little _tart_ was _wearing_, Daria? _Did_ you? I just _know_ she's probably trying to _snuggle up_ to Darren! The b--

DARIA: --_Down_, girl. _(Smirks:)_ Darren's _car_ hasn't _swerved_ yet if she's tried that, so we're still in the _clear_ about the _"snuggling"_ thing.

JANE: _(Gives a really rare death glare at Daria:)_ That's _not_ funny, Daria. _(Sighs, then looks down, puts her hand on her forehead:)_ Geez, why in the _hell_ did I allow _this_? What was I _thinking_?

DARIA: _(Tries to look for words:)_ Um, _sorry_--I was just trying to _lighten_ the moment, Jane.

JANE: _(Now resuming her old, mischievous way, smirks:) You're_ trying to _lighten_ a moment, amiga--thought I'd _never_ live to see the day.

DARIA: _(Smirks back:)_ You're the _first_ person to hear me _say_ that--you might not live _long_ enough _through_ the day to _repeat_ it to anyone else. _(Pauses:)_ Seriously, Jane--we've gone _over_ this at least a _dozen_ times since we _left_ Lawndale. Darren likes _you_, and _only_ you. He's not--I repeat--_not_ interested in Sandi Griffin--I really believe if Sandi Griffin was the _only_ girl in the whole damn _universe_, he wouldn't be interested in her. Darren's _not_ the type of guy who'd go for a girl like that--you _should_ know that yourself. _(Adds:)_ I think _I_ can say that for sure.

JANE: _(Smiles quietly:)_ Yeah, yeah, you're _right_. I _shouldn't_ be thinking like this. Darren--likes--_me. (Points to hereself:) Me_. Damn, I'm _lucky_. I'm the _envy_ of a lot of girls. _(Smirks:) No_ more feeling any _doubts_.

DARIA: Okay, then. New subject?

JANE: _(Leans back in the seat:)_ Yeah--go.

DARIA: _(Looks at Jane, hesitates, then proceeds:)_ Uh--_Trent_.

Jane looked at Daria, surprised, wide-eyed, and feeling a bit _delighted_, began to _grin_ slowly. Daria, of course, rolled her eyes.

JANE: Oh, _what_, my dear, dear, Daria, do you wish to ask about my bro?

DARIA: Get your dirty little _mind_ out of the _gutter_, Lane. It _does_ concern my _feelings_ for Trent, but it's _not_ what you think. _(Pauses:)_ Trent's only--a _friend_. _(Pauses:) Nothing more, nothing less_. You can _stop_ playing _yenta_ now.

_(Note to the readers, especially the "'shipper" ones: I suppose some of you will believe that I've fallen off my **"fence"** and are now into the **"anti-shipper"** camp--and I guess I can't blame you for getting that perception, though I'd **still** like to think of myself as a something of a "Fence-Sitter". I just believe like Michelle Klein-Hass, the TV show has made it seem that Daria and Trent are now just **friends**--at least after the third season finale, that "kiss" notwithstanding, and with what seems to be going on in the fourth season, and I'm going with that train of thought--for now.)_

Jane's smile slowly faded, then she looked away, and sighed. At least privately, she would not have to feel a little _guilty_ anymore about being able to see Daria's brother while Daria and Trent did not do the same (or neither took the initiative) with each other, and feeling that she was "twisting that knife" into Daria's feeling's for Trent by being with Darren.

JANE: _(Shrugs:)_ Well, it was worth a _try_. It would have been _great_ to see you two with me and _your_ bro. _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ You're _sure_ about this?

DARIA: _(Smirks:) Positive_. Trent and I have _different_ priorities. _(Pauses:)_ His newly-burgeoning music career might take him _places_--places that I see as _not_ to where I want to go. I'm _99%_ sure that I'm _over_ Trent.

JANE: _(Smirks:) Only_ 99%? Are you saying--

DARIA: _(Smirks back:)_ --I'm saying that I'll _always_ remember the _first_ uh, um--_(turns red because she is telling Jane this for the first time, though Jane heard it first from Darren:)_ crush that I had was _Trent_, no matter _what_ happens in the future to me.

JANE: _(Slowly nods in an understanding manner:)_ And if my bro hits it _big_ then--?

DARIA: Then I can say I _knew_ the _"Great Rock Star Trent Lane"._

JANE: _(Raised eyebrows:)_ That's _it_?

DARIA: _(Mona Lisa smile:)_ Afraid so. _(Pauses, looks at Jane suspiciously:)_ One question though--have you tried to get _Darren_ to _help_ you get Trent and me together?

JANE: _(Faux gasp and indignation:) Moi_? Do _that_ to Darren? _How_ could you _think_ of something like that? Why, Daria, I'm _so_ insulted!

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ You _did_, didn't you?

JANE: _(Snorts:)_ Yeah, I _tried_, but your bro didn't _bite_. He said that you and Quinn could decide on what to do with your _own_ lives, or something to that effect. He said he'd be there for _"moral support". (Shrugs:)_ Sheesh--the boy's got a _lot_ to learn about being a sibling.

DARIA: _(Really smirks:)_ Ah, that's my _wise_ bro. He's _everything_ a sister could hope for in _having_ one.

JANE: _(Stares insightfully at Daria for a moment:)_ Daria, may I ask you a _personal_ question about Darren?

DARIA: _(In a curious tone:)_ Um, sure, Jane--what is it?

JANE: _(Quietly:)_ Have you come to--well--_love_ him as your brother? Like me and Trent?

Daria looked at Jane wide-eyed for the slightest second, and struggled to say something, then saw Darren's car up ahead.

DARIA: Uh, Jane--look. Darren's car has turned into _Pastroni's_. We're here.

JANE: _(After a moment:)_ You're _not_ gonna answer my question, are you?

DARIA: _(Gives Jane her "expressionless expression", in a flat tone:)_ What do _you_ think, Jane? The answer should be _obvious. (Looks off to the side:)_ Darren and Sandi are going into the swanky joint. Let's _join_ them, shall we?

Jane got out the the now-parked SUV and followed Daria into _Pastroni's_ wordlessly. Behind _them_, the gray Camry rolled up, and parked in the far corner of the parking lot. The interior light came on, and the man inside started to write something down again, only occasionally looking up and around.

_(Scene changes to the front of the Suni Apartments, Los Angeles, the same time)_

Gerald Woo's car, with David and Leroy riding in tow behind him in their own car, came up and parked behind a white sportscar on the street. Just as they were going into the buliding, two men, a tall, thin, red-haired goateed man wearing dark sunglasses, and a short, stocky, brown-haired man with a thick beard, also wearing dark sunglasses, came out calmly by them, going to the sportscar, and getting in. Woo stopped for a moment, and looked at them just as he was about to go in. Leroy caught his gaze, while David continued into the building.

LEROY: _(Comes up beside Woo, looking in the same direction as well:)_ Something up, Woo?

WOO: _(Still watches the men in the sportscar, which has started up, and is leaving slowly away:)_ I don't know, Leroy--something seems--_familiar_ about that red-haired man--_(narrows his eyes)_ I--can't--place my _finger_ on it, but--_(voice trails off, shakes his head:)_ it can _wait_. Let's go inside. _(Leroy follows Woo into the building)_

Both men found David waiting at the scratched-up and cracked desk with a fat, bald-headed, sweaty-looking man in a tee-shirt, blue jeans, and sandals, holding the newspaper in one hand, and a beer in the other hand. He was smoking a cigar, and scowling. Leroy looked around, and saw that the walls and ceiling seemed to be ready to fall _apart_ at any second. There were _cobwebs_ on the walls as well, and what appeared to be a rather thick coating of _dust_ on the railing that led upstairs. The elevator beside it had an _"Out of Order"_ sign on it--_why_ did that not surprise him? The man then spoke.

MAN: _(In a heavy, gravelly voice:)_ Yeah, what in the _hell_ do you all want? A _room_ to rent for a month, or somethin'?

DAVID: _(Leans over to Leroy in a low voice, sarcastic:)_ What a _wonderful_ welcome we've just received from this rather _"respectable-looking"_ gentleman.

LEROY: _(Smirks, in the same voice:)_ Yeah--it makes you want to get a room for a whole _year_. I wonder if they do _room service_ here in this _"well-refined"_ establishment?

WOO: _(Reaches into his coat pocket, pulls a picture of Sanchez out:)_ We want no rooms, sir--rather, we're looking for this man--have you seen him? We were told he was _(looks around, slightly disgusted) "living"_ here.

MAN: _(Narrows his eyes at the picture, ponders:) Hmmm_--yeah--yeah, that's _Gonzalez_. The damn _bastard_ just _paid_ me the rent he owed--took em' _long_ enough. Said he was gonna hit the freakin' _jackpot_, or something. _(Pauses:)_ You know, you're the _second_ set of guys who've come to ask for him today. _(Woo looks back at David and Leroy, concerned:)_ Those two guys that _just_ went out past you, wanted to see him, _too_.

WOO: _(Alarmed, suddenly wide-eyed, realizes:) DAMN_! _(Grabs the man's shirt:)_ Which room is _"Gonzalez"_ in?

MAN: _(Startled:)_ Hey, lemme go--

WOO: _(Now furious, pulls the man to over the desk to him, face-to-face:) WHICH --ROOM_?!

MAN: _(Terrified:) 3-3-308_! I-I-I've got the _key_! If ya want _money_, I ain't got much--

WOO: _(Turns to David and Leroy:)_ --Get up to that room--if I'm right, we're too _late_! _(David and Leroy rush up the stairs) You_ come with us! _(Drags man up the stairs with him)_

It only took a minute to reach room 308, and when David and Leroy got there, the door was closed, but unlocked. They pushed the door open, and Woo's hunch was right--much to their _chagrin_. Woo, dragging the man with him, came in behind them and saw the _body_ of "Gonzalez", A.K.A. Julio Sanchez, on the floor, partially hidden on the other side of his bed, with only his legs showing. Woo left the man, and brushed past Leroy and David, going on the other side of the bed to look closer, crouching down. The fat man timidly came up, and looked over the bed with a disgusted look on his face.

MAN: _(Gets wide-eyed:)_ Aw, geez--is he--

WOO: _(Looks up gravely at Leroy and David:)_ --He's _dead_. A bullet to the _head_--probably a _silencer_, since no one in any of the other rooms heard anything. Judging from the position of the body, they did it the moment he turned his head _from_ them, "execution-style".

DAVID: _(Almost speechless:)_ How--how did they _know_--?

LEROY: _(Slowly realizes, turns pale:)_ That _red-haired_ goateed man--

WOO: _(Narrows his eyes at Leroy:)_ The _pizza man_. He must've slipped a _bug_ in the office when he came in--that's how they _knew_ where to find Sanchez--we didn't bring any _attention_ to ourselves when we were looking for him--

DAVID: _(Looks between the two, begins to realize:)_ --Wait a second--you're saying--that--guy--_(grows angry:) DAMN IT_!

MAN: _(Puts his hand over his mouth:)_ I--just--_had_--pizza--for--lunch--and--it's--comin'--_up--(vomits on the bed)_

WOO: _(Through clenched teeth, rolls his eyes, frustrated and angry:) Wonderful_--just--wonderful. _(Thought v.o.: This **isn't** going to be good for Darren--**not** good at all...)_


	15. Chapter 15 - Conclusion

Chapter 15 - Showdown!

_(The scene is "Pastroni's", about 30 minutes later)_

The dinner with Sandi had actually gone quite well for Darren. He ordered a _$60_ veal steak, while Sandi had ordered a _$75_ salmon salad. He had gotten her to talk about going to the Fashion Institute, and not about _him_, which more than suited Darren, whose mind was still on _Sanchez_, and whether or not Woo had found anything. He chastized himself privately for _not_ bringing his cell phone, fearing that any sudden "interrupting" calls would _anger_ Sandi, and thusly put Quinn's chances at staying in the Fashion Club at risk. In the meantime, he tried to keep his attention on Sandi as she continued to drone on in her "Valley-girl" voice.

SANDI: --And like, I think I can be _sooo_ much better than Quinn in the Fashion Designer field. _(Takes a nibble from her salad)_

DARREN: _(Shrugs while cutting into his steak:)_ I suppose. You'll have to bone up on your English, computer, math, public speaking, and drafting in high school to get better grades if you want the Associate of Arts degree. Did you know you need at least a _"B"_ average to get in?

SANDI: _(Turns pale:)_ A _"B"_ average? Quinn told the Fashion Club that you could get her into Circa as an intern, but she didn't say _anything_ about the _grades_ to get into the Fashion Institute! That is like, _sooo_ hard!

DARREN: But _true_, I'm afraid. _(Eats)_

SANDI: _(Hesitates:)_ Um, look, Darren--speaking of Circa, Quinn showed us the _dress_ you bought her. It was a _"Circa Original"_.

DARREN: Ah, yes--I remember. _(Pauses:)_ Your point _being_--?

SANDI: Well, like--it's _expensive_, right? _(Adds after a moment:)_ Do you have a _lot_ of _money_, or something? _(Darren looks slightly alarmed)_ I, of course have been to _Cashman's_ many times, and I know for a _fact_ that the dress Quinn had was worth about _$800_. 

DARREN: _(Quickly covers himself:)_ Oh, uh, well--my (adopted) parents left me _some_ money, and I used some of it to buy Quinn that dress.

SANDI: _(Not backing off:)_ But that was an _$800_ dress! Are you like, a _millionaire_, or something? How could you _afford_ that?

DARREN: _(After a moment:)_ Sandi, I used a _little_ bit of my money to buy Quinn a--_birthday_ gift. So it cost $800. So _what_? Here, I'm spending a _lot_ of money on _you_ on this _"date"_.

SANDI: _(Smirks:)_ That's _exactly_ my point. I _suspected_ that you had money when Quinn told us that you brought her that dress, so that's why I wanted you to take me _here_, and find out if you could afford this, which _obviously_ you could--an' you also offered to give the Fashion Club some _money_ to keep Quinn in. _(Narrows her eyes:)_ How much money _do_ you have, Darren?

Darren looked at Sandi, slightly caught off-guard. This girl _had_ caught on that he seemed to have a lot of money, and wanted to know the amount. He thought about it for a second, then, rapidly formulating a plan in his mind, suddenly _chuckled_ to himself, which Sandi picked up on, then frowned out of perplexity.

SANDI: _(Arched eyebrow:)_ Like, did I say something _funny_, or something, Darren?

DARREN: _(Now in a serious tone, the smile gone from his face:)_ That _depends. (Pauses, narrows his eyes:)_ Why would you _care_ about how much money I have? Is that what this is _really_ all about?

SANDI: _(Wide-eyed, speechless, now caught off-guard herself:)_ Like, _no_! I, uh, was just _curious_, that's all! _(Hesitates, then adds hastily:)_ If you don't want to say anything about how much you have, um, you _don't_ have to!

DARREN: _(After eying her over quickly, then satisfied that she seems serious, adds with a ever-so-slight hint of sarcasm:) Good_--after all, I wouldn't want to get the _wrong_ idea about your--_"real"_ intentions, now, would I? _(Pauses, then talks with an air of nonchalance:)_ How's your salmon salad?

SANDI: _(Looks down at her salad, sheepishly for her:)_ It's like, uh --_delicious_.

DARREN: _(With the same tone of voice:) Good. (Resumes eating)_

Both continued their meal in silence, with Darren secretly _relieved_ about Sandi not delving in any further about his money.

In the meantime, at another table across the dimmed restaurant, just about out of sight of Darren and Sandi (but enough for both Darren and Sandi to be seen by _them_), Daria and Jane sat at a candlelight table in their regular clothing eating amidst some curious stares from the well-dressed patrons. Both girls occasionally gave their own _"intimidating"_ stares right back, which usually would more than cause the _"well-heeled"_ diners to turn away in fear, and back to their own meals _(and business)_. Both girls had ordered a _$30 cheeseburger plate_ that consisted of onion rings, soda, and fries (usually the plate reserved for _kids_), which drew an _exasperated_ sigh from the waiter of their table, who had already _dreaded_ serving such _"common-looking"_ people in the first place. Daria, picking up on the waiter's indifference, smirked, and promptly pulled out and waved a _$50_ bill from the front of her jacket, and pretended to talk to Jane in a deadpan _"snooty"_ voice about the _"wonderful"_ service she _"expected"_ from the _"servants"_ of this _"fine establishment"_ (much to Jane's amusement), and the _big_ tips she usually gave when she came in--of course, this was the _first_ time she was in here--and if Daria would have her way, the _last_ time ever. The waiter's attitude then suddenly _changed_ when he caught sight of the bill, and he was only _too_ glad to serve them, coming up almost every _ten_ minutes to ask if either girl wanted anything, or to inquire if everything was all right while he was constantly filling their glasses with soda. Jane would usually answer with an _"a-okay"_ sign with her hands, (Daria with a slight, affimative nod) and the waiter would eagerly smile, relieved. Both were still eating their burgers when Daria spoke.

DARIA: How's your cheeseburger?

JANE: _(With her mouth full:)_ Eh--it's okay, but it _still_ doesn't beat _Cluster Burger_, or even the _Zen's_, for that matter. The onion rings taste like a _"rubbery salty tire"_.

DARIA: Yeah--I think the meat's too damn _dry_ or something. The _spit_ in my mouth is _struggling_ to keep the food _moist_. I have to keep drinking the soda to _"back up"_ my saliva. _(Drinks soda:)_ Maybe _that's_ why _"Jovo"_ here keeps coming around with his pitcherful of soda to pour--he _knows_ about the _crappy_ food they serve. _Hell_ of a way to _waste_ almost _$70_.

JANE: _(Drinks her soda as well:)_ Yeah. _(Pauses:)_ By the way, are you _really_ gonna give that poor _sap_ of a waiter a _big_ tip?

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ If he keeps kissing our _asses_, I'm _thinking_ about leaving him a _$1_ tip for all of his _"hard"_ work--I _still_ can't get over that _"look-down-my-nose-at-you-two" sneer_ from him when he first laid his eyes on us, you know. _(Bites into burger some more)_

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ My, but you're the _big_ tipper, girl. _(Sneaks a glance at Darren and Sandi's table:)_ Everything seems to be on the up and up over at _"Table Ground Zero"._

DARIA: _(Looks in the same direction:)_ Yeah--Sandi seems to be _behaving_ herself--for the _moment_, anyway.

JANE: _(With a bit of irritation in her voice, which Daria picks up on:)_ And hopefully, she'll _keep_ it that way. _(Lightens up her tone:)_ So, how _much_ did Darren give you again?

DARIA: About _$500_ for gas and this, which should leave us with _plenty_ left--no need to worry about _washing_ the dishes if we come up short.

JANE: _(Snorts:)_ Not that we _would_, anyway--the _dishes_, that is. _(Pauses, frowns slightly, perplexed:) Geez_--Darren's really _shelling_ the _"moolah"_ out, isn't he?

DARIA: _(Ponders:)_ Uh-huh--and I've been _wondering_ about that. _(Pauses:)_ Before I left to pick you up, I sneaked a quick _peek_ into Quinn's room after she left for Stacy's--Darren was getting ready in the bathroom while I did this, mind you--I was still kind of _worried_ about my bro's ability to pay for _"Miss Congeniality"_, himself, and you and me for tonight, _despite_ his assurances. I took a _real_ close look at the dress Quinn _conned_ Darren to get her from _Cashman's_ in her closet--

JANE: --The _gold_ one where Darren was _coy_ in not telling us how much he _paid_ for to get Quinn? _(Smirks:)_ Wished you had one _like_ it, eh?

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ Actually, I was studying it to see if it could fit _you_ so I could _bury_ you in it after I _kill_ you, that _bridemaid's_ dress from my cousin Erin's wedding notwithstanding. _(Jane chuckles)_ Anyway, I looked at the clothes tag on the collar, and saw it was something called a _"Circa Original"_ --ironically the _same_ company Darren's late adopted mom worked at. Anyway, I was able to make a quiet call to _Cashman's_ out of _curiousity_, and I found out something _very_ interesting--

_(Note to reader: The bridesmaid's dress that Daria wore was a "Running Gag" in the episode "I Don't", of course)_

JANE: _(Grins:)_ --You found out they had one in your _size_?

DARIA: _(Narrows her eyes:)_ How about if I just _get up_ from here, pay _my_ tab, and _leave_ you twisting in the wind, my fellow _deviant_? _(Smirks:)_ Remember, _I_ have the money _and_ the car.

JANE: _(Faux pleads, laughs:)_ Okay, okay! No more _snide_ remarks--_(smirks wickedly:)_ at least on _this_ subject, anyway. Seriously, what'd you find out, amiga?

DARIA: That the dress cost _$800. (Jane cocks an eyebrow, surprised, whistles to herself)_ I think I can safely say that my _doubts_ about Big Bro's possible money problems for tonight have gone _out_ the window. My guess is that his adopted parents left him with a _sizable_ amount of money when they died.

Jane looked away for a moment, deep in thought, then spoke.

JANE: You know, I just thought about something myself, Daria, especially after your little _"tip quip"_ about our _kiss-ass_ waiter--do you remember when Darren called you from _Do Me A Donut_ that morning when he and I first ran into each other following what happened at the _Zen_ the previous night when I--well--_kissed_ him? _(Daria frowns, tries to remember)_ He told you we had breakfast? _(Daria then slowly nods, now remembers)_ Well, while he went to call you after we finished eating, I noticed that he left a _hell_ of a large tip--_$20_--on the table. _(Daria cocks an eyebrow)_ I pointed it out to him, and he seemed to be _shocked_ when he saw what he tipped, and replaced it with $5. _(Pauses:)_ I didn't think much of it at the time, but do you think he _meant_ to do that, and then took it _back_ when I pointed it out, so he could _(hesitates:) cover_ himself?

DARIA: _(After a second:)_ Hmmm--_why_ would he do that? You don't think he has something to _hide_ concerning the _money_ he has, do you? That wouldn't make any _sense_. I mean, I don't really give a _damn_ about my bro's money, just--_(catches herself)_

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ --Just about _him_, right? _(Daria glares at her slightly)_ Well, neither do _I_, for the record, pard. _(Pauses:)_ The other night while we were going out to the movie, he tried to buy me--_(pauses:)_ a bouquet of _roses. (Daria begins to smirk wickedly)_ Shut up, don't say a _damn_ thing, you--anyway, it was a _sweet_ gesture, but I said _no_. Did you know those flowers cost _$50_ a dozen?

DARIA: Whoa. _(Gets in a low voice:)_ You didn't take _one_ rose at _all_?

Jane looked away, red-faced. Daria carefully looked over her friend's reaction, then slowly began to give her Mona Lisa smile, which made Jane _frown_.

JANE: Okay! I let him buy me _one_ rose! _(Adds quickly:)_ I didn't want him to go to all that trouble of spending a whole lot of money on _me_, all right?

DARIA: _(Enjoys this:) Awwww_--how _romantic--one_ rose. _(Wiggles her eyebrows up and down in a suggestive way:)_ Did he whisper _sweet nothings_ in your ear, too?

JANE: _(Glares:) ANY_way, my _point_ is, is that he was willing to spend _that_ much money on me, capeesh? I now agree with you that's he's _got_ to have a _sizable_ amount of money--_(pauses:)_ now that I think about it even _more_, I can't recall a time that he _didn't_ pay for _everything_ for us since I've come back here from vacation with my mom. I mean with the _pizza_, the _arcade tokens_, the _movies, this--_

Daria looked into space for a moment, frowning, then gave Jane a look that seemed to say, _"Is **that** it?"_, a look that Jane picked up on immediately.

JANE: _(Sounding eager, slowly twirls her hand to will out the answer from Daria:) Sooo_--?

DARIA: The _Appletons_, Jane--somehow or another, their _deaths_ have something to do with Darren having _money. (Jane ponders this)_ Hmmm--Darren said his adopted mom worked for Circa clothing, which we've since found out is _part_ of Appleton Industries, right? _(Jane nods)_ He said his adopted dad worked in _computers_, and Appleton has a computer _division_--

JANE: _(Cuts her off:)_ --Daria, are you saying that _both_ of Darren's adopted parents _worked_ for Appleton Industries, and that somehow or another they were _beneficiaries_ when those _filthy-rich_ "Appleton" people died?

DARIA: It makes _sense_ when you think about it, Jane. The question we know is--_how_ did Darren's adopted parents die? They weren't _in_ the same crash as that "Arthur Jr." guy's parents unless--unless--_(slowly gets a look of realization on her face:) no_--that's _nuts--(looks at Jane uneasily:) isn't_ it?

JANE: _(Hangs on Daria's every word:) What? What?_

DARIA: _(Tries to convey her words:)_ That--that--those--those--"Appleton" people who died in that jet plane crash _were_ Darren's adopted parents? _(Jane stares at Daria, stunned, her mouth agape)_

_(Scene changes to the Suni Apartments, the hallway outside of Sanchez's room, about the same time)_

The body of the late Julio Sanchez, now covered in a bodybag and on a stretcher, was being rolled out of his room. Meanwhile, Leroy, David and the fat man were leaning on the cracked plaster wall talking to a police officer in the hallway when the body rolled by. The fat man took a glance at it, and promptly began to vomit _again_, this time on the _floor_. David, Leroy, and the officer looked at the fat man, rolled their eyes, _disgusted_, and shook their heads slowly. Several people down the hallway who were held back by another officer, presumably the other tenants, turned their heads away in disgust, more by the fat man's display of _"tact"_ (or lack of it), rather than by the sight of the body, for they had seen _many_ bodybags on stretchers _before_ in this run-down _hellhole_ of a building, some from _drug overdoses_, some from _murder_. The custodian, an old man in a tanktop and baggy beige pants, and who had cleaned the bedsheet that the fat man had vomited on earlier upon seeing Sahchez's dead body, was allowed to come up and clean the contents. He glared at the fat man while sprinkling some powder on the vomit, and spoke.

CUSTODIAN: This is absolutely the very _last_ damn time that I'll do this, you lousy, cheap-paying, fat _slob_! Have you got _no_ stomach, or something? _(The fat man glares back briefly at the custodian while wiping his mouth, embarassed, while Leroy, David, and the cop chuckle quietly)_

Meanwhile, Gerald Woo sat in a chair in the middle of Sanchez's room, rolling his eyes, while a scruffy-looking, black and grey-haired short man in a ruffled black suit, presumably a police detective, stood in front of him, writing on a notepad, while a poilce photographer was nearby, taking pictures of the apartment, now a crime scene. The detective then spoke in an annoyed, _angry_ tone.

DETECTIVE: _(Frowns:) Damn it_, Woo! Why in the _hell_ didn't you tell _us_ when you found out that Sanchez wasn't everything he _seemed_ to be after you discovered he worked on that fuel line on the Appleton's plane at LAX? _We_ could've hauled his _ass_ into the damn station, and found out _who_ hired him!

WOO: _(Through clenched teeth:)_ I _told_ you, _Lt. Keller_, I had only _circumstantial_ evidence! That's why _I_ wanted to find Sanchez, and get him to tell us who hired him! Don't you realize that if you had put out a _full-scale_ manhunt on Sanchez, that it would've _alerted_ whoever hired him to _silence_ Sanchez--

LT. KELLER: _(Cuts Woo off, his voice even louder:)_ --Which happened _ANYWAY_! It didn't make a _damn_ bit of difference, Woo!

WOO: _(**His** voice becoming louder, which is rare for him:)_ Only because they _sneaked_ an electronic _bug_ into my office, which I obviously didn't know about, and found out where Sanchez was! _(Adds:)_ I called my secretary _Carla_ to look for it and any _others_ while you guys were coming over here, and she _found_ only one under the front lip of her desk--

LT. KELLER: _(Still loud:)_ --And that doesn't do us a whole damn lot of good _now_, does it?

WOO: _(Ditto:)_ You can check it for _fingerprints_!

LT. KELLER: _(Glares:)_ Oh, we'll do _that_, don't you worry--not that I suspect that _that_ will do any good, either! _(Pauses, looks down at his notepad:)_ We have an _A.P.B._ out on the suspects that you, your men, and _fat-nasty_ out there described, as well as the sportscar they were in, with the license number _"TAFKA". (Looks up, narrows his eyes:) Who's_ your _client_, Woo?

_(Note to reader: "A.P.B." means "All points bulletin"--duh!)_

Woo took a deep breath, then spoke.

WOO: I'd--rather _not_ divulge that information right now, Lt. Keller --only to say that my client is--_associated_ with Appleton Industries. _(Lt. Keller frowns)_

LT. KELLER: "Associated", huh? May I ask _why_ you don't want to tell me, Woo?

WOO: On the _simple_ fact that my client's _life_ could be in _danger_ if I do.

LT. KELLER: In _danger_, eh? Are you saying that this _"client"_ of yours is _working_ at Appleton right now?

WOO: Actually, _no_, but still, I think it's best if he or she stays in the _background_, for now.

LT. KELLER: _(Ponders:) Uh-huh. Background_, you say. _(Adds with a bit of a sneer in his tone of voice:)_ Well, _I'm_ wondering if you think that whoever hired Sanchez might go _after_ your client, since he or she was the one that hired you to find Sanchez and expose _them_? You were _bugged_, remember? Is it possible you or your men might've _leaked_ something that whoever hired Sanchez overheard, and that could possibly _threaten_ your client?

WOO: _(After a moment:)_ I--don't _think_ so.

LT. KELLER: _(Snorts:)_ Yeah--_right. We_ could _protect_ your client, you know.

WOO: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ From _what_, Lt. Keller? Do you _honestly_ think that whoever did this would go _after_ my client if they _knew_ the police or even the _F.B.I._ were protecting him or her? No, my client's _safe_ where they are, and even if they _took_ the protection you offered, they could feel like they were in a _bubble_, possibly for the _rest_ of their lives, looking _constantly_ over their _shoulder. (Pauses, thinks a second more:) Forget_ it.

LT. KELLER: _(After staring at Woo for a long moment:)_ Is that your _final_ answer?

WOO: _(Smirks:)_ Is this _"Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"_, now? _(Lt. Keller gives Woo a warning look)_ Sorry. Look, it's possible now that whoever did this might _not_ go after my client since Sanchez, the _one_ obstacle who could've _exposed_ them, is dead.

LT. KELLER: _(Gives Woo a look of doubt:)_ Do you _really_ believe that?

Woo slowly looked at Lt. Keller, deep in thought, then spoke.

WOO: _(Sighs:)_ I don't know _what_ to believe. _(Pauses:)_ All I know is, is that I _failed_ my client, and I _don't_ like having that feeling.

LT. KELLER: _Who_ does? What do you have to _lose_, Woo? Tell us who he or she is, so we can _protect_ them.

WOO: It's _not_ that simple, Lt. Keller. You see, my client is staying with their _birth family_, a family that is laying their eyes on my client for the _first_ time ever, due to a rather _tragic_ set of circumstances. In fact, my client's birth family _doesn't_ know _who_ my client _really_ is. If I tell you who it is, _they'd_ know, too, and it could create a bit of a--_messy_ situation, what, with all of the _questions_ that would be asked by them, and such, not to mention that my client's birth family could be put in danger _themselves_.

LT. KELLER: Hm. That _does_ rather _complicate_ things, doesn't it? _(Adds:)_ You _do_ realize that I could get a _court order_ and _force_ you or your men to disclose who your client is?

WOO: _(In a cool tone, leans back in the chair:)_ Of course--the choice is yours--_if_ I or my men _cooperate_, that is. _(Smirks smugly)_

Woo's tone _frustrated_ Lt. Keller, having heard this _before_.

LT. KELLER: You and your men _aren't_ going to cooperate, are you? _(Woo slowly shakes his head no, then Lt. Keller adds:)_ Are you willing to risk _jail_ time to prove your freaking _point_? _(Woo slowly nods his head yes)_ Woo, we've known each other for how long--_15_ years, now?

WOO: Just about--and this means--_what_?

LT. KELLER: _(Glares, sighs:)_ It means I'm _wasting_ my time, having seen you do something like this on _several_ occasions _before_ for your clients. _(Through clenched teeth:) Go_, get the _hell_ out, Woo. _(Woo gets up and starts to leave)_ Oh, and by the way--_(Woo stops, then turns to Lt. Keller, who gives Woo a warning look:)_ your _ass_ is _grass_ if your client _dies_, got that? _(Gets into Woo's face:)_ I'll come down so _hard_ on you, you'll wish that you had _never_ even became a detective, that you never even came into this _city_, that you were never even _BORN_!

WOO: _(Cooly, smirks, looks up:)_ Let's see--that's now a _hundred_ times you've given me this _threat_, right? _(Lt. Keller turns red with rage)_ I'm _still_ here--_(looks Lt. Keller in the eye, now in a serious tone:)_ and my _client_ will be too--_count_ on it. _(Leaves the room)_

Woo walked out of the apartments with Leroy and David, while several TV reporters and cameras tried to go past them into the apartments, and promptly got into an argument with two officers who were trying to keep them out. Woo made a quick motion with his head, and both men gathered with him in front of his car.

WOO: _(In a low voice:)_ You know the _drill_--Keller will send some men to _follow_ us so he can try and locate our client. _(Leroy and David give curt nods)_ Of course, he doesn't know that our client is on the _other_ side of the country, so we're _okay_ for now. Go straight to your homes, gentlemen, and rest. We'll meet at the office at _7:00 a.m._ tomorrow morning--following _another_ bug sweep of the office, of course.

DAVID: _(In the same tone:)_ Woo, what do we do about _Darren Appleton_?

WOO: _(Sighs, shrugs, starts to sound depressed:)_ I'll have to inform him that Sanchez is _dead_, and we'll have to figure out our _next_ move. _(Pauses:)_ I'm willing to guess that this whole thing is _not_ over yet.

LEROY: Do you think _Darren's_ going to be the _next_ target, Woo?

WOO: I'm almost _sure_ of it for some reason, Leroy, though I don't know _when_ they'll go after him. I'm working on a small _hunch_ in my mind, but it's going to have to wait for the time being. _(Bites his lower lip, looks around after a long moment:)_ For the moment, I'm trying to figure out _how_ to break the news to Darren--_(gets a pained look on his face, voice goes down to a whisper:)_ this is the most _difficult_ thing I've _ever_ had to do--something like this has _never_ happened before. Damn it, we were _used_ to find someone so they could be _killed_! _(Frowns:) Used_--and you _know_ how much I _hate_ that! We must look like _fools_! _(Pauses, narrows his eyes:)_ No, scratch that--_I_ must look like a fool!

DAVID: _(In a soothing tone:)_ Woo, we _didn't_ know--

WOO: _(Now enraged, cuts him off:)_ --BUT WE _SHOULD_ HAVE KNOWN, DAVID! THERE WAS NO EXCUSE! _(David and Leroy are taken aback by Woo's tone, and the reporters and officer stop their argument and look at Woo, startled) (Woo goes into a whisper again:) I_ should have known. Now, we might _not_ catch whoever did this, and it's all _my_ fault. All of that searching and hard work, gone up in _smoke. (Suddenly brushes past Leroy and David, gets into his car, and starts it up)_

LEROY: _(Goes up to driver's side window:)_ Woo! Hey, man--

Woo simply stared forward for a moment, then slowly looked at Leroy. To Leroy, it was a look of _defeat_, a look of _wariness_, a _cold_ look, one devoid of _any_ feeling.

WOO: _Tomorrow._ 7:00 a.m. Remember. _(Suddenly takes off, and Leroy jumps back, just barely)_

A female reporter holding a microphone came up to both shocked men, followed by a cameraman, who was filming them.

REPORTER: _(Smirks, shoves the microphone in David's face:)_ I _thought_ I recognized that man! That's the detective _Gerald Woo_, isn't it? You two _work_ for him, don't you? _(Realizes:)_ Say, you came out of the Suni Apartments, right? What _happened_ in there? We heard someone was _murdered_!

David and Leroy simply looked at each other expressionessly and got into David's car. The reporter followed David as he got into the driver's seat.

REPORTER: _(Annoyed:)_ Hey, all I'm asking is a _question_, here!

DAVID: _(Starts his car up, glares at the reporter:)_ And I'll give you an _answer_ here--take a _hike, Lois Lane_! _(Speeds off, leaves the reporter and the cameraman in a cloud of smoke, coughing)_

_(Scene is now in Helen's SUV, on a highway, about 30 minutes later)_

Daria and Jane were following Darren and Sandi again, this time going to _The Haven_ nightclub. Nothing more was said between Daria and Jane concerning Daria's startling _revelation_ that Darren _had_ to be the adopted son of the deceased Appletons during dinner--in fact, nothing else was said _at all_ while the girls finished their food, occasionally looking over at the table where Darren and Sandi were, privately wondering amongst themselves about Darren. True to her word, Daria left _$1_ as a tip for the waiter, and a _written_ tip on a napkin beneath the dollar--_"Improve your damn **attitude** sir, and you can improve your damn **lot** in life--hell, anything's possible"_. The two girls now sat in the SUV in an uneasy silence. Jane then broke it, cutting her eyes over at Daria.

JANE: _(Hesitant:)_ Um--Daria?

DARIA: _(Ditto:)_ Er, what, Jane?

JANE: Ah, _why_ didn't we kinda just _ask_ Darren if he's that "Arthur Appleton Jr." guy? _(Adds:)_ I thought _you_ would've gotten up and went _over_ to their table, and you know--?

DARIA: _(Smirks:) Funny_--I was thinking the _same_ thing about _you. (Sighs:) Two_ reasons I didn't, Jane--(1) he's with _Sandi_--if we _confronted_ him, it could _mess up_ Quinn's standing in the Fashion Club if she _saw_ us, and (2) I want to be _absolutely_ sure he is _the_ mysterious "Arthur Appleton Jr.". _(Pauses:)_ If you're game, I'd like to _check_ on a few things tomorrow, okay? We don't want to be _wrong_ about this, and I'd rather we'd want to have _overwhelming_ evidence on our side.

JANE: _(Grows quiet:)_ Yeah, yeah, you're right--good idea. Geez--he's _gotta_ have a _good_ reason if he's that "Appleton" guy, right?

DARIA: _(Looks distant:)_ I--guess. I should have _detected_ all of the _clues_ he was _inadvertently_ giving me, with all of the _hesitation_ in trying to tell me the _truth_, his wanting me to _"overlook"_ certain things, and it's--that--well--

JANE: _(Cocks an eyebrow:) --Gooo ooon--_

DARIA: --If he's been--_misleading_ us--

JANE: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ --Oh, now, you're being _coy_, Daria--you _really_ want to say _"lying, to us"--(Daria glares at Jane)_ but I'm willing to listen, _anyway_--

DARIA: --_IF_ he's been _misleading_ us, then I wonder if he's been misleading us about what happened with his fiancee Stephanie Reardon, and well--_(in a very low voice:)_ whether or not he's really _proud_ that I'm--his _sister_.

Jane looked at Daria, stunned at her remark, actually more by Daria's _candor_ than by Daria's wondering about Darren's brotherly pride over his sister or about Darren's late fiancee. Daria had always been a _master_ at hiding her feelings, though Jane could ever-so-slightly see the subtle _twitches_ in her best friend's facial and vocal features whenever Daria would convey her opinion about something. Here, it was a feeling of _disappointment_, of being let _down_ a little by her brother. Whatever the case, Jane, privately believing in Darren's reasons in possibly pretending he was someone else for her _own_ reasons, had to _stop_ her friend's slowly forming _doubts_, or risking seeing Daria's cynical nature, which had actually gone _down_ some, thanks to Darren's presence, come back with a _vengeance_. Quietly, but confidently, Jane spoke.

JANE: Look, Daria--I don't know _what_ to think about why or if Darren has done what he's done. I do believe that he _is_ telling us the _truth_ about Stephanie Reardon--there's really _no_ reason he'd _lie_ about something like that. And girl, there's no way in _hell_ that I can believe he _lied_ to you about his being proud that you're his sister. He _beamed_ with _pride_ when he talked about you to me, the _same_ for Quinn, though he seemed even more enthusiastic about _you_ and your writing. Remember, he told the Fashion Club --the _Fashion Club_, mind you--that Quinn was his _cousin_, and _not_ you--that in _itself_ was _proof_ enough for _me_.

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ I--suppose, Jane--_(pauses:)_ you--you're not _angry_ over Darren and what he's possibly done, are you?

JANE: _(After a moment of silence, in a quiet tone:)_ Daria--he saved my _life. How_ could I get _"angry"_ over someone who did _that_? I'm kind of _confused_ over what he did, IF he did it, yeah--but I _like_ him--_period_. He's a _great_ guy. _(The corner of Daria's mouth turns up ever-so-slightly)_ Like I said, he's gotta have a _good_ reason if he _pretended_ to be someone else. We'll just find out once and for all tomorrow, _(adds, looks determined:)_ and even if he _is_ this "Arthur Appleton Jr.", well, it's not gonna change a _damn_ thing for me, and how I'm starting to _feel_ about him. _(Daria cocks an eyebrow, then Jane sighs)_ Sorry--I guess liking someone does that sort of _thing_ to you.

DARIA: _(After a moment:)_ I guess it does, oh _"Partner-In-Crime"_. Now when I think about it, you're _right_--he _is_ mine and Quinn's bro, and my mom and dad's son--the DNA tests _confirmed_ that--so I guess he _does_ have a good reason to do what he did--at least I _hope_ he does--

JANE: _(Smirks:) --IF_ he's "Arthur Appleton Jr."--

DARIA: _(Ditto:) --IF_ he's "Arthur Appleton Jr.". _(Narrows her eyes, realizes:)_ Hmmm--I just thought about something _else_ concerning my Big Bro--

JANE: --I'm almost _afraid_ to ask, but _do_ go on.

DARIA: I'm wondering if he's "Arthur Appleton Jr.", then if he's _also_ our _"Mysterious Benefactor". (Jane frowns, deep in thought)_ It _would_ make a certain amount of _sense_, here. He _was_ with me when I talked to Trent and Mystik Spiral in the cellar when they came back from their "tour". He knew about the guy's disdain for _insurance_, though I'll admit he _didn't_ know about their disdain of _banks_, at least I don't _think_ so. The only other problem I can think of with all of this is that he didn't _know_ you or Trent at the time, so he _couldn't_ have given the band that money for _you. (Pauses:)_ Sooo --_why_ would he do that if he did it?

JANE: _(Shrugs:)_ I guess that's something _else_ we can mark down when we check tomorrow. _(Glances in the passenger side mirror absentmindedly:)_ Hmmm--call me _crazy--_

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ --Okay, _"Crazy"_--what's up?

JANE: _(Still looks in the mirror:)_ Is it my _imagination_, or have those _same_ headlights behind us at a distance been _following_ us since we left _Pastroni's_?

DARIA: _(Now glances in the driver side and rearview mirrors:)_ I don't know--headlights are just _headlights_ to me. How can you tell?

JANE: I dunno--I could've _sworn_ those were the _same_ headlights, that's all. _(Shrugs, looks forward:)_ Ah, it's probably just eating too much _dried_ cheeseburger.

DARIA: Or eating too many _rubbery-tasting_ onion rings. Hey, we're here at this _uppity-disco_ dance hall. _Strap_ yourself in for _"stupidity personified". (Gets out with Jane)_

Darren and Sandi walked into the vestibule to the high-class teen-oriented nightclub, where they promptly met a huge, muscle-bound bald man with an earring, probably a bouncer, to Darren almost as large as that "Rocco" he met that night in the _Zen_. The man had a stern look on his face, with his arms crossed, looking Darren and Sandi over. Another man, much smaller and thinner, with a bony face, and obviously wearing a toupee, came from behind him, and took the money that Darren paid ($50 each for him and Sandi), and let them by. A minute later, Daria and Jane came up. By this time, several other people were in line ahead of and behind them, waiting to get in. Jane, in front of Daria, leaned back to her, and spoke.

JANE: _(Glances at the man, in a low voice:)_ Hellooo--_King Kong_ at 12:00.

DARIA: _(Smirks, in the same voice:)_ Hmmm--I wonder if that guy could take on your _"good buddy"_ Rocco?

JANE: _(Cocks an eyebrow:) Pardon_? How, my dear friend, is _Rocco_ my "good buddy"?

DARIA: If it _wasn't_ for Rocco, you wouldn't kave _kissed_ my bro in the _Zen_, and you two would've _never_ gotten together. _(Jane rolls her eyes, blushes slightly)_ Ahhh, _"Fate"_ occurs in the _strangest_ of ways.

JANE: If _that's_ "Fate" with Rocco, I'd rather take my chances with _"Luck"_--it sounds like a _hell_ of a better term.

Both girls moved up in the line, and came to the big man, who took one look at the two and smirked.

MAN: Huh--you two don't look like you _belong_ here. _(Daria and Jane frown)_

DARIA: _(Deadpan:) Wow_--you've read my _mind_--I was thinking the _exact_ same thing about _you_--I think you'd be right at _home_ in one of those _scientific research labs_--I hear they're looking for _muscle-bound lamebrains_ who show off their usual _inordinate_ amounts of _stupidity_ to compare to the _superior_ intelligence of the _amoebas_ that are in those little _petrii dishes_. If you call _now_, I'm sure that the scientists there will make an _appointment_ for you--_(glances cooly at the now-scowling man, while Jane smirks, and couples behind them snicker:)_ though in _your_ case, they'll take one _look_ at you, and probably hire you on the _spot_.

MAN: _(Furious:)_ Why you _little_--just for _that_, you can--

Daria pulled out _$200_ from her pocket (part of the money Darren had given her), and _waved_ it just as the other man came from behind the large man. The smaller man's eyes lit up when he saw Daria's money.

SMALL MAN: Well, just don't _stand_ there, _Curly--(Jane snickers a little at the name, and whispers something into Daria's ear, and Daria smirks)_ let these two young ladies through!

CURLY: _(Red-faced:)_ But _Mr. Shaw_--

MR. SHAW: _(Scowls, cuts him off:) --No_ buts, Curly! Let them through, okay? _(Frowning, Curly lets a smirking Daria and Jane by)_ I'm _so_ sorry about that scene, ladies--enjoy yourselves.

Daria gave Mr. Shaw $100, and Jane looked around to Curly, who was still watching them with a surly look, and spoke, smirking.

JANE: Hey _"Curly"_--say hello to _Moe_ and _Larry_ for us, will you? I just _loved_ those scenes where Moe _smacked_ you upside the head when you did something _stupid_--which, now when I _think_ about it, usually occured _all_ of the time--_nyuk, nyuk, nyuk! (Walks off with Daria, and both follow Mr. Shaw, while Curly clenches his teeth at them for a second, then grudgingly goes back to checking out the patrons who are still in line.)_

Both girls walked into a huge, open room packed with young people. Unlike the _Zen_ or even the slightly better-kept _McGrundy's_, this place was basically _clean_ in appearance, with a section of tables and a bar on the side (that sold only non-alcoholic drinks--this _is_ a teen-oriented nightclub, mind you), and brightly-colored walls and floors, with flashing neon lights. The patrons were _"ordinary-looking"_ (as opposed to the Goth-looking teenagers in the _Zen_), and clean-cut, (though most of the young ladies were wearing skimpy dresses similar to Sandi's) or as either Daria or Jane would label them, _"Preppies"_. TLC's _Unpretty_ was playing, and everyone was dancing to the beat. Mr. Shaw turned to the girls and shouted over the loud music.

MR. SHAW: Well, here we are, ladies! _Enjoy_ yourselves! If you need anything, just _call_ me!

DARIA: _(Just as loud, looks around at the scantily-dressed girls:) What_ should we _call_ you--_"The Head Pimp"_?! _(Jane smirks)_

MR. SHAW: _(Leans over to Daria:) What_?! I _still_ can't hear you! Ah, it doesn't matter! Have _fun_, ladies! _(Leaves, while Daria rolls her eyes)_

JANE: _(Looks around with Daria, in her loud voice:)_ What do you want to do, Daria?!

DARIA: _(Ditto:)_ Actually, to get the _hell_ out of here, but since I can't, let's go over to that _phony_ bar for some _fake_ martinis, or something!

JANE: Sounds perfectly reasonable, amiga! _(Follows Daria, but steals a look in the crowd for Darren while she does)_

Meanwhile, after coming in, (by which Sandi had gotten _stares_ from _jealous_ girls who _swooned_ after Darren, something Sandi had _anticipated_ and _thoroughly_ enjoyed seeing), Darren and Sandi had started to dance, though it seemed to Sandi that Darren's _heart_ was not in it, for he kept _looking around_, as if he were trying to _find_ someone (Jane and Daria, of course). She spoke in a _mildly_ annoyed tone, above the throng of humanity.

SANDI: Darren! Like, is there something _wrong_?! You look like you're dis--dis--_distracted_, or something!

DARREN: _(Quickly looks back down at Sandi:)_ Eh?! Oh, I'm just uh--looking at how big a _crowd_ is in here, that's all! This _Haven_ can really _pack_ them in, huh?!

SANDI: _(Shrugs, gives a quick look around herself:)_ I, like, guess! I heard it's _always_ like this! _(Gets a wicked smirk:)_ Come on--show me what you can _really_ do, Darren! _(Suddenly snuggles up **against** him, in a **gyrating** motion)_

Darren's eyes lit up as _wide_ as they could get, and he froze at Sandi's rather--_suggestive_ dance movements for a moment, then backed off, shocked, while people around them continued to dance.

DARREN: _(Now stops dancing, scowls:) Sandi_! What do you think you're _doing_?!

SANDI: _(Scowls herself as well as stopping her dancing, too:)_ I'm like, trying to get you to have some _fun_, Darren! It _is_ part of the _"deal"_, remember?!

DARREN: _(Narrows his eyes, in a firm tone:) No_--the _"deal"_ was for me to go out with you so you wouldn't kick Quinn _out_ of the Fashion Club, nothing more, nothing _less_! Trying to do--_(motions:) this_ wasn't a _part_ of it! I _told_ you I _have_ a girlfriend, Sandi! Maybe you're _used_ to going out with guys who don't give a _damn_ about _two-timing_ their girlfriends, but I _won't_ do that to _Jane_, got that?!

SANDI: _(Pouts:)_ Hey, you don't have to, like, be so _postal_ about it, okay?! I _won't_ do that anymore, if you feel so _strongly_ about it!

DARREN: _(Calms down somewhat:)_ I _do_! _(Sighs:)_ Now--are you ready to _continue_ without the--_"intimate"_ contact?!

SANDI: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ I, like--guess! _(Begins to dance again with Darren, though at a bit of a further distance from him)_

Daria and Jane went up to the _"bar"_, and sat down. The _"bartender"_, a brown-haired woman in her early twenties, came to them, talking over the current loud music.

BARTENDER: What'll it be, ladies?!

DARIA: _(Puts her hand on her forehead, and her elbows on the counter:)_ An _asprin_ and some _water_, please--and a _tommy-gun_ to _quiet_ this _damn_ crowd! _(Jane smirks, but so does the "bartender", who reaches under the bar counter and gives Daria the asprin and a small glass of water, which surprises Daria a little)_

BARTENDER: Yeah, it _is_ pretty _loud_ in here, isn't it?! It's like this _most_ of the week, but especially the _weekends_, as you might imagine! _(Looks at Jane:)_ What will _you_ have?!

JANE: Gimmie a club soda, bartender! _(The "bartender" does so)_ You seem to be the first _"normal"_ person here we've met since we came into this _"preppy-rathole"_! Is this just a _part-time_ job for you, or something?!

BARTENDER: _(While giving Jane the soda:)_ Yep! I go to a _college_ nearby, and this _"job"_ provides me with some extra dough, though I could use a little more cash from that _miser_ of an owner, _Shaw_! Did you guys _meet_ him when you came in?!

DARIA: You mean that ol' _Hugh Hefner_ wannabe?! _(Smirks:)_ Yeah--we were _escorted_ in by him--I waved some _money_ in his _face_, and he _drooled_ at it! _(Pauses:)_ He's a regular _bloodhound_ when it comes to _getting_ money, huh?!

BARTENDER: Uh-huh! Too bad he doesn't _give_ it out as much! I'd _quit_, but this is the _nearest_ best-paying job to my college! You _sure_ you don't want anything else?!

DARIA: _(Shrugs:)_ Well, I suppose I can get something else--give me a _root beer_! _(The "bartender" does so)_

Just as the music was dying down and changing to another, quieter song, two teen-age boys, one, a tall fellow with a ring in his eyelid, and the other, a short one with a crewcut, came up to the bar, with the tall one going over to Daria, and the shorter one going over to Jane. Both boys had _leering_ looks.

TALL BOY: _(Grins, gets into a "seductive" tone:) Hello_, ladies! _(Looks around:)_ Are you two all _alone_ in this big ol' place?

DARIA: _(Deadpan, looks around as well, sarcastic:) Gosh_, I _think_ we are, but I could be _mistaken_, you know. I suppose if one _eliminates_ all of these people in this building that are here right _now_, including the bartender, here--we _would_ be alone. Otherwise, I can't be _too_ sure. _(Narrows her eyes at the boy:)_ What do _you_ think?

TALL BOY: _(Grin slowly goes from his face, looks foolish:)_ Oh, uh--yeah--_right_. What I _meant_ was, did you two _come_ here alone?

JANE: _(Smirks:) Nope_--we came here with _each other--(raises her eyebrow up and down in a **suggestive** way:) if_ you know what I mean. _(Daria looks at Jane out of the corner of her eye, and smirks ever-so-slightly)_

SHORT BOY: _(Looks between Jane and Daria, alarmed:)_ Y-you mean you two--

DARIA: --_Uh-huh--alone. Just-me-and-her._

TALL BOY: _(Frowns:) Crap_. Sorry, uh, _excuse_ us--_(leaves quickly with the short boy while the "bartender" smirks)_

BARTENDER: May I ask you two a _question_?

DARIA: _(While drinking her root beer, looks at Jane, who nods while drinking her club soda:)_ You may proceed.

BARTENDER: _(Leans on the counter:)_ Are you two, well--

DARIA: --_No_, we're _not_. That _idiot_ asked if we came here _alone_, and Jane told him the _truth_. We _did_ come here with each other, and _not_ alone--

JANE: _(Shrugs:)_ --It's not _our_ fault if that guy and his friend took it the _wrong_ way.

BARTENDER: _(Grins:)_ Oh, I see--_shrewd_, ladies. So, you two are just hanging out, or what?

DARIA: Try the _"what"_. Actually, my bro and _(motions at Jane:) her_ boyfriend are out there fulfilling an _"obligation"_ to my sister--

JANE: _(Frowns:)_ --By being with a damn _she-wolf_.

BARTENDER: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ Now I _am_ curious. What's up?

Daria and Jane looked at each other, then Jane began to explain.

At the same moment, a small, tan car came into the _Haven_ parking lot, and drove past the grey Camry with the man in it. He looked at it, and then did a bit of a double-take when he saw who was getting out of it after it had parked. _Quinn, Tiffany,_ and the driver, _Stacy_, got out. All three were dressed to _kill_. Quinn wore a white, off-the-shoulder sequin dress, Tiffany, a green, short-sleeved rhinestone dress, and Stacy, a light blue, long-sleeved sheer dress.

STACY: _(Nervous along with Tiffany:)_ Gosh, Quinn--are you _sure_ about this? I mean, I don't know if we should _stand up_ to Sandi!

TIFFANY: Yeah...

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Stacy! Tiffany! We're _not_ gonna be doing _any_ of that, okay? All I sayin' is that we kind of _"run into"_ Sandi with Darren! I mean, she _didn't_ tell you about what she was gonna do, right? _(Narrows her eyes:)_ Do you guys think that was _fair_ to _you_? _(Stacy and Tiffany look at each other, ponder Quinn's words)_ Besides, she _abused_ her office when she made that _"deal"_ with my bro to keep me in th' Fashion Club! _(Then as an afterthought, adds:)_ I know you two were--_attracted_ to Darren, and Sandi _competed_ with you over my bro, and _outmanuvered_ you to get to him! Do you want her to get _away_ with that? _(Pauses:)_ Hey, I know what I did was _wrong_ when you all first met Darren, but do you think what she did was any _better_?

STACY: _(Looks down, still unsure:)_ I--guess that's _true_, Quinn--

TIFFANY: _(Ditto:)_ I...suppose...you've...got...a...point...Quinn--

QUINN: _(Smirks:) Damn_ straight I do! _(Pauses:)_ Look, it's not like we'll be confronting her _together_ at first, so she can't say that you're _defying_ her by being with me, 'cause she _doesn't_ know that we came in together! Remember the _plan_--I'll come up on her _first_, then you two _"happen"_ to come up behind me.

STACY: O-okay, Quinn--d-did you really _mean_ it when you said you'd _pay_ for us?

QUINN: _(Sighs:) Of course_ I did, Stacy! My _dad_ let me use his _credit card_ to get some cash, an' I have it right _here_! _(Shows the cash to them)_ Now, let's carry out _"Operation Cookiejar"_, okay? _(Leads the two girls to the club with a determined look on her face, and all three pay Mr. Shaw and go into the club past "Curly", who is **ogling** at them until Mr. Shaw **whacks** him on the back and motions him to continue to check out the customers)_

Meanwhile, Daria and Jane were finishing telling the story to the _"bartender"_, who _whistled_ in awe.

BARTENDER: Oh boy--and _you're (looks at Jane:)_ allowing your _boyfriend_ to _do_ this? Girl, that takes _guts_.

JANE: _(Snorts, rolls her eyes:)_ Don't forget a healthy dose of _stupidity_. I'm not giving my _permission_ to allow Sandi Griffin to date Darren for my _health_, you know--_(frowns:)_ and if Sandi's _smart_, she'll be able to _keep_ hers if she _behaves_.

BARTENDER: _(Smirks:)_ Then I suppose you're allowing it for Daria's _sister_? _(Daria now smirks herself, while Jane **gags**.)_

JANE: _(Puts her hand on her forehead, shuts her eyes, sighs:) Don't_ remind me. It's just that, well--

_Quinn_ suddenly came up beside Daria, Jane and the "bartender", surprising both girls, sitting up beside them at the counter, and _smirking_.

QUINN: _Hiiii_, guys! _(Daria and Jane roll their eyes)_

DARIA: Speaking of which--say hello to my _sister_, Quinn. _(Smirks sinisterly:)_ Say "hello" to the nice bartender, _"siiis". (Quinn glares at Daria, while Jane gives a very smug look at Quinn)_

QUINN: _(Remembers her new "agreement" with Daria over saying Daria's her sister in public, now:)_ Uh--hi, sis--Jane, um--_(looks away and around quickly)_

BARTENDER: _(Cocks an eyebrow, smirks:)_ --Just call me your _"bartender"_--did you want something to wet your whistle, honey?

QUINN: _(Puts her hand up:)_ Um, no thanks.

BARTENDER: _(Notices:)_ Excuse me, gals--other customers. _(Leaves to the other side of the bar)_

DARIA: Behold--it's an _illusion_ of _disastrous_ proportions, Jane. Quinn, what in the _hell_ are you doing here?

QUINN: _What_ does it _look_ like, Daria?

DARIA: _(Looks over the way Quinn's dressed:)_ It seems to me that you're trying to allow _dollar bills_ to be placed in your dress for a free _show. (Jane smirks)_

QUINN: _(Frowns:)_ Oh, you're _really_ funny, Daria.

DARIA: No, _seriously_, why are you here? I thought you were going to join _"Laverne and Shirley"_ for an _"overnight clandestine fashion-ego booster get-together"_, or something. Aren't you _concerned_ about what _mom_ and _dad_ will _do_ if they _call_ over at Stacy's to _check_ on you? You might not _ever_ leave _home_ again until you're _21_.

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes:) Daaaaria_! You gotta remember that mom and dad are at home _alone_, an' are--_(shudders, disgusted look:)_ you _know_--they're gonna be _so_ into each other, _(ick)_ the _last_ thing they'll think about is _me_! Besides, the curfew is _off_ for tonight, remember? Oh, and if you're worried about a _guy_ bringing me here an' _breakin'_ my stupid punishment rules an' stuff, it's _cool_--Stacy drove her mom's car, and me an' Tiffany rode with her here.

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Well, _you_ were the _last_ thing _I_ was thinking about while I was sitting here with Jane. _(Quinn narrows her eyes and glares at Daria while Jane smirks)_ Anyway, what about the _Rowes_? Don't you think _they_ might think _something's_ amiss when their daughter and her friends are missing from their humble abode?

QUINN: _(Smirks:)_ Stacy's parents are _out_ of town for the weekend, an' the Rowes _trust_ their daughter--

JANE: --_Unlike_ Helen and Jake _not_ trusting _you_? _(Daria smirks)_

QUINN: _(Glares at Jane:)_ Hey! _You're_ one to _talk_, you know! You're _trusting_ Darren to be with Sandi!

JANE: Only to keep _you_ in the Fashion Club so you can go to your _"little"_ Fashion Institute, and for the record, it's _Sandi_ that I don't trust with Darren!

DARIA: Back to my _original_ question--_why_ are you here, Quinn? Jane and I are keeping an eye on Sandi, so what's the deal?

QUINN: _(Smirks:)_ I'm gonna get _back_ at Sandi--do you know that Tiffany an' Stacy didn't know about what she's done, other than me bein' on fashion sabbatical? Sandi's _abusin'_ her office!

JANE: _(Faux alarm:)_ Uh-oh--time to _impeach_ the "prez"--

DARIA: _(Deadpan, smirks:) --**"What** does President Griffin know, and **when** did she know it?"_ Will the _trial_ be conducted in front of a _"Fashion Tribunal"_? If so, I'll inform the _media_ for you--

QUINN: _(Gets up off the barstool:) --Laugh_ if you must--

JANE: --Oh, we _will_--

QUINN: --But I gotta _expose_ Sandi! Excuse me! _(Goes off into the crowd)_

DARIA: _"Expose"_ Sandi? If that's the case, all she has to do is _touch_ Sandi's _flimsy_ dress, and it would _fall_ off for the _ultimate_ exposure!

JANE: Of course, if someone would do that to _Quinn_, the _same_ thing would happen--

DARIA: --To Quinn and all the other _scantily-clad_ girls in this place. If guys want to get their fill of _"hoochie"_, they've come to the _right_ place here.

JANE: _Tell_ me about it. _(Changes tone, scans crowd:)_ Seen _Darren_ yet?

DARIA: _(Also scans:)_ No, not--_hold it_--there he is--over there. _(Points to the left side of the room:)_ You see them now?

JANE: _(Narrows her eyes:) Nooot_ yet--_yeah_! _(Pauses:)_ He doesn't look like he's _enjoying_ himself--this _really_ makes me feel _relieved_, you understand.

DARIA: _(Scans, smirks:)_ He's got _"Jane on the brain"_, I _told_ you that. _(Scans some more:)_ Ah, _now_ the _fun_ begins--look over to the _center_ of the room. _(Jane follows Daria's lead)_ There's Quinn dancing _"towards"_ Darren and Sandi from the center, with a _barrelful_ of boys _"sniffing"_ behind her--

JANE: _(Brightens up:) Ooh_--and _there's_ Tiffany and Stacy with a _handful_ of boys dancing _"towards"_ Darren and Sandi from the _right_ side! Y'know, this should actually prove _interesting_, amiga.

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ And here I thought we were gonna be _bored_ out of our skulls. _(Eyes bowlful of peanuts, gets it, passes it to Jane:)_ Nuts?

JANE: _(Takes the bowl:)_ Hey, thanks--that _dry_ burger didn't fill me up. _(Starts munching:)_ How perfectly appropiate--_eating_ nuts while _watching_ them--save for _Darren_, of course.

DARIA: _(While munching as well:)_ That's not _quite_ true for my Big Bro--after all, he's _"nuts"_ for _you--(Jane smirks)_ now, let the _show_ begin.

Sandi had tried to _entice_ Darren with her _suggestive_ dance movements, but he had not bitten at her _"bait"_, even when the two slow-danced, for he was the _perfect_ gentleman while he held her--much to her _chagrin_. He kept his hands lightly on her back and shoulders, but that was about it--no attempts to _"lower"_ them. She had tried to once again _lean up_ against him, but he gently held her back at a _respectable_ distance--_several_ times, in fact. This was becoming like a _game_--and Sandi was _losing_. It was getting _frustrating_ to Sandi--here, she was the _envy_ of many of the girls who had watched the two come in, and she couldn't take _full_ advantage of him in _front_ of them. Sandi was thinking about trying _one_ more trick, when suddenly a girl _"bumped"_ into Darren from the back. Sandi looked around Darren, who had not looked around himself yet, and _frowned_. Several people stopped dancing, and watched, and in the meantime, the music had started to die down as well.

SANDI: _Quinn_! What are _you_ doing here?!

DARREN: _(Surprised:) Quinn_?! Where'd you come from?!

QUINN: _(Faux shock, gasps:) Darren! Sandi_! This _is_ a surprise! It's a _small_ world, isn't it?!

SANDI: _(Narrows her eyes:)_ I don't know what's going _on_ here, but I think you're _up_ to something! Did you _know_ we were going to be _here_?!

QUINN: _("Innocent" look on here face:) What_?! I don't know what you're talking about Sandi! Hi, bro!

DARREN: Uh, hi, Quinn--I thought you were with-- _(flinches when he's bumped from behind again:) eh_? _(Looks behind him:) Stacy_? _Tiffany_?

SANDI: _(Shocked:) Staaacy_? _Tiiiffany_? What are _you_ two _dooing_ here?

STACY: _(Really nervous, but bravely goes on:) S-S-S-Sandi_! _Q-Q-Q-Quinn_! _D-D-Darren_! _T-T-Tiffany_! F-f-fancy m-m-meeting y-you guys here! _EEP_! I'm not supposed to _talk_ to you, Quinn! Sorry!

TIFFANY: _(Same way as Stacy, but I'll spare you her stammering:)_ Uhhh...hiiii..guuuys...IIIII..mean..Sandi...Darrrren....

SANDI: _(Looks between the girls, suspicious:)_ Something's like, _definitely_ not right here, but I sure as _hell_ intend to _find out_! _(Goes to the "weak link", laser-beam focus:) Staaacy_, did _Quinn_ put you _up_ to this?!

STACY: _(Sweats profusely, while Quinn mouths to her out of Sandi's sight, "Be strong":) N-n-no_, S-S-Sandi! I-I-I c-can't t-talk _t-to_ Q-Q-Quinn, r-r-remember? H-h-how c-could she p-plan to do s-something w-with m-me if w-we c-couldn't t-talk t-to e-each o-other?! _(Weak laugh)_

Sandi looked at Stacy with her iron gaze a moment more, then rolled her eyes over to _Tiffany_. Stacy let out a silent, deep breath of _relief_ the moment Sandi turned away, holding her rapidly-beating heart, and closing her eyes. Darren watched the scene with the other dancers, both _fasinated_, and _amused_.

SANDI: _(Gives the same look to Tiffany, but in a more "diplomatic" way, tries to play up to the "yes-woman":)_ Tiiiffany, I'm sure you had very _little_ to do with this, right? Did you follow Quinn's _instructions_, and come out here with her?

TIFFANY: _(Slightly more cooler, but with Tiffany, it's kind of hard to tell:)_ I...don't...know...what...you're...talking...about...Sandi...

Sandi looked at Tiffany and _grimced_. It was clear the _"yes-woman"_ was not going to _crack_, and point the finger. Sandi began to slowly turn _red_ with rage. Quinn, sensing an _opening_, pounced.

QUINN: _(With faux ignorance:)_ So, um, Sandi? What are you doin' here with _Darren_? I mean, isn't he _Jane's_ boyfriend, or something?

SANDI: _(Gives Quinn the glare to end all glares:)_ We weren't like, doing anything! Just a little dinner and dancing, that's all, _(frowns:)_ you probably _asked_ him where we were going, and you knew _why--(suddenly stops, checks herself, realizes she's said more than she intended)_

QUINN: _(Narrows her eyes:) --"Why"_, Sandi? _"Why"_ what? Do _Stacy_ and _Tiffany_ know _"why"_, huh?

SANDI: _(Looks lost, which is unbearable for her in front of the others, especially Quinn, tries to re-take the high ground:)_ Like, uh, because um, Darren _chose_ to take me out on his _own_! _(Suddenly hooks her arm with Darren's:) Right_, Darren? _(Quinn gasps in anger, while Sandi smirks)_

Darren couldn't believe what was going on--first, there was some sort of verbal _"battle"_ between a suddenly-appearing Quinn and Sandi, and he was being dragged into it _against_ his will! He looked around for a moment, dumbfounded, and spotted _Jane_ and _Daria_ at the bar. Both were leaning back on the counter, and watching with great interest, eating peanuts and _smirking_ at the situation. _If only **I** could be up there **with** them instead of--_

SANDI: _(Looks up at Darren:) --Darren_! Did you _hear_ me?! I said you _chose_ to take me out, right?!

DARREN: _(Gives a quick look between Sandi and Quinn, looking unsure:)_ Uh, ah--that is--

Suddenly, _Mr. Shaw_ and _Curly_ made their way through the crowd, and both were frowning.

MR. SHAW: _(Looks between everyone:)_ What in the _hell_ is going _on_ here, people?! I won't tolerate _violence_ in _my_ club!

DARREN: _(Calmly:)_ No problem, sir, there was only a _misunderstanding_, right, girls?

SANDI: _(Angry:) Oooooh, nooo_--there's _no_ "misunderstanding" here! _(Glares at Quinn, releases Darren's arm, goes up to Quinn's face:)_ I know you _had_ to be _behind_ this, Quinn! I can't _prove_ it--_yet_, or how you've _turned_ Tiffany and Stacy _against_ me, but I suspect you had a _hand_ in this!

QUINN: _(Cool exterior, in a calm voice:)_ You're right about _one_ thing, Sandi, there's _no_ "misunderstanding" here--you, like _abused_ your office when you took Darren out with you just to keep me in th' Fashion Club, _admit_ it!

SANDI: _(Smirks:)_ Hey, _I'm_ not the one who _lied_ about having a sister after all this time, and passing her off as my _"cousin"_! _(Gasps in the audience)_

QUINN: _(Furious, begins to step forward:)_ Why you--

_Curly_ suddenly stepped in between the girls, and gently separated them, which still did not stop Sandi from speaking.

SANDI: Quinn, using my power and authority as president of the Fashion Club, I hereby excu--excumun--_kick_ you _out_ of the Fashion Club! _(Darren and Quinn looked shocked, while Daria and Jane look at each other, surprised)_

QUINN: _(Mouth agape:)_ Y-you can't _do_ that! _(Looks at Tiffany and Stacy, pleading look:)_ Guys, _help_ me!

Tiffany and Stacy looked at each other and then Quinn, sheepishly, then looked away uneasily.

DARREN: _(Frowns:)_ Sandi, we had a _deal_! _(Quinn gets a **very** sinister look on her face, while Tiffany and Stacy look at each other)_ You're now going _back_ on it?

SANDI: _(Haughty look, not realizing what Darren has said:)_ It's not _my_ fault that Quinn forced the _issue_ here! All she had to do was to say and do _nothing_, and--

QUINN: _(Lights up, points at Sandi:) AH-HA_! You _admit_ you wanted to go out with Darren in return for me staying in the Fashion Club?! _(People in the audience make "ooooh" and "aaaah" sounds, looking at each other, then Quinn grins wickedly:)_ Even my _bro_ said you guys had a deal! _(Darren sighs, exasperated)_

SANDI: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Like, uh, that is _so_ not true--

MR. SHAW: _(Having enough:) --OKAY, THAT'S IT_! I don't care who did what, I want all of you people _out_ of here, right now! Curly, start with _him. (Points at an astounded Darren:) "Escort"_ the _"lover-boy"_ out of here first, then the _others_ in his party.

DARREN: _(Glances up at the ceiling with a look of disbelief on his face:)_ Why does _everyone_ seem to think that _I'm_ after _all_ the girls?

CURLY: _(Starts to walk over to Darren, grins wickedly, cracks his knuckles:)_ With _pleasure_, Mr. Shaw. _(Quinn, Tiffany, Stacy, and even Sandi look at each other, uncomfortably--this was definitely **not** expected)_

Daria and Jane watched the spectacle intently, and the "bartender" had stopped doing her work, watching intently as well.

BARTENDER: Oh _crap_--it looks as there's gonna be some _trouble_ for your boyfriend, Jane.

DARIA: _(Begins to smirk:)_ Oh, I don't _know_ about that. Let's see _what_ happens.

JANE: _(Cuts her eyes over at Daria, a little uneasily:)_ You seem _awfully_ sure Darren can _handle_ this guy, Daria. _"Curly-Joe"_ looks pretty _big_--

DARIA: _(Still smirks:)_ --Maybe if you _rushed_ out there to Darren and _kissed_ him, Curly might _not_ fight him. _(Jane mock-glares at Daria, while the "bartender" looks at them oddly for a second, then resumes to watch what will happen on the floor)_

Curly grinned as he came up to Darren, who had backed up a bit, and was _sizing_ Curly up, narrowing his eyes.

CURLY: You can go out one of _two_ ways--you can be _carried_ out, or you can be _thrown_ out. What's it gonna be?

DARREN: _(After a moment:)_ Look, I really don't want any _trouble_--how about if I just _walked_ out on my _own_?

CURLY: _Wrong_ answer.

Curly lunged at Darren, who smoothly ducked under him, leaped in the air, and _kicked_ the bouncer in the head. Curly stumbled forward, and fell down on the floor on his back. He looked up at Darren, dazed and stunned. Quinn looked at an _impressed_ Sandi, Tiffany, and Stacy and _smirked_. Others in the crowd talked amongst themselves, impressed, especially the _females_.

QUINN: I _told_ you my bro can take care of himself, Sandi.

SANDI: Like, I guess he _can_, Quinn.

MR. SHAW: _(Looks down at Curly:)_ Get your _ass_ up, you _lummox_! I don't pay you to just _lie_ there on the floor and look like an _idiot_!

Curly foolishly looked at his boss for a moment, then _glared_ at Darren, and got up in a rage, _snarling_ like an animal. Once again, he rushed Darren, but Darren again smoothly avoided him on the side, and _chopped_ Curly on the back of his neck, knocking him to the floor, and out _cold_. Mr. Shaw looked down at his fallen bouncer, stunned. The whole room was totally the same--save for a _proud_ Quinn. Daria, Jane, and the "bartender" looked at each other, and _smirked_.

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ Well, _that_ certainly was over _fast_. At least I got a chance to actually _see_ my bro in "action", and I must say, he's one _hell_ of an _ass-kicker_.

JANE: _(Wicked smirk:)_ Oh, I'm _sooo_ damn _lucky_--I've _gotta_ take some _"lessons"_ from that boy--

BARTENDER: _Wow_--and Curly usually had his way with _everyone_ in here--I've _never_ seen anyone taken out _so_ fast. Jane, you've got a _rare_ gem there--_don't_ lose it. _(Pauses, coy voice:)_ Of course, if you want to _pass_ him on--

JANE: _(Same smirk, still looks in Darren's direction:)_ Heh--_fat chance. (Daria smirks)_

Darren took one more glance at Curly, just to make sure he did not get up, then turned towards the now-terrified Mr. Shaw, who was _shaking_ with fear. Darren was _scowling_, and spoke.

DARREN: _(Through clenched teeth:)_ All you had to do, _"sir"_, was let me leave on my _own_. I _told_ you I didn't want any trouble. Now, if you don't mind, I'll be _leaving_--on my _own. (Shaw nods his head in agreement quickly, and stands aside, then Darren brushes past him and starts to leave, but turns back towards him with a slight smirk:)_ Uh, your _pants_ are _wet_. Maybe you should _change_ them? _(Mr. Shaw looks down on himself, turns red with embarassment, then runs off the floor while everyone laughs at him)_

SANDI: _(Becoming wide-eyed:)_ Uh, Darren, what about--

DARREN: _Sorry_, Sandi, but if you're going to kick my sister _out, (Quinn glares at Sandi, while Tiffany and Stacy look heartbroken)_ then we have _nothing_ more to do with each other on this _"date". (Starts to leave)_ I'm sure you can find your own--

SANDI: _(Becomes alarmed:) Wait_! _(Darren stops, turns around, while Sandi strains to look at Quinn, and be civil at the same time)_ Er, um, perhaps I was a bit _hasty_--

QUINN: _(Scowls:)_ A _bit_ hasty? You--

DARREN: _(Glares at Quinn, cuts her off sharply:) --Quinn_! Let Sandi _speak_! _(Quinn looks at her brother, stunned, while Sandi gives a quick, smug look at Quinn)_ Go on, Sandi.

SANDI: Oh, um, yes--anyway, like I said, perhaps I was a bit hasty, Darren --I will _not_ kick Quinn out of the Fashion Club, but _only_ if Tiffany and Stacy _admit_ that they were in _league_ with Quinn against me! _(The crowd "oohs" and "ahhs")_

QUINN: _(Stunned with Tiffany and Stacy:) WHAT_! But--

STACY: _(Suddenly jumps down at Sandi's feet, pleads:)_ Oh, _YES, YES, YES_, I did it, Sandi! I didn't _mean_ to! _Please_ forgive me! _(Starts to **cry** into the **hem** of Sandi's dress)_

TIFFANY: _(**Bows** down to Sandi on one knee, **kisses** the back of her hand, similar to what a Catholic saint does with the Pope:)_ I...did...too...sorry...Sandi...please...forgive...me...

Quinn rolled her eyes, full of _rage_, with her arms crossed, while Darren (and others in the crowd) viewed the scene with stunned disbelief. Sandi, of course, was on top of the world, with an arrogant smirk that ended _all_ smirks. Daria and Jane simply looked at each other and shook their heads slowly.

DARIA: _(Deadpan, flat tone:)_ The status quo has been _restored_, Lane.

JANE: _(Flat tone as well:)_ Yes, Morgendorffer--_"Queen Sandi"_ has _forgiven_ her _"subjects"_--all _hail_ the queen.

DARIA: _(Same tone:)_ I'd prefer to tell her to _go_ to hell.

Darren then gave Sandi a _serious_ look.

DARREN: If you're _finished_, I want to leave now. You ready to go?

SANDI: _(Comes down after her "high":)_ Like, sure, Darren--I suppose, since everything's back in it's _proper_ place. If you want to go, we can.

DARREN: _Let's_. I'm _sick_ of being here. _(Turns to a fuming Quinn:)_ Quinn, we'll talk _later_. Catch a ride back with Tiffany and Stacy. _(Leaves with Sandi as the crowd parts to let them through, but as he sees Jane and Daria, his visage softens, and he gives Jane a quick wink and a smile, the same for Daria. Jane smirks contentedly while Daria shrugs, but gives a tiny Mona Lisa smile)_

Daria turned back to the "bartender" and pulled out the same $200 she had shown to Mr. Shaw while getting up from the bar with Jane.

DARIA: _Here_--you've _earned_ this tip.

BARTENDER: _(Stunned as she takes the money:)_ Y-you're giving _this_ much money to _me_? A-are you _sure_--

JANE: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ Uh--yeah, Daria--_are_ you sure?

DARIA: _(Shrugs at Jane, then looks back at the "bartender":)_ Why _not_? Our business is done here, and we don't really need this much money anymore for tonight anyway. I'm sure that my bro won't mind if we gave it _away_, especially if he's really--_(glances at Jane:)_ well, you _know_--

JANE: _(Picks up on Daria's lead:)_ --Oh, uh, yeah--_"that guy". (Looks to the bartender, who frowns slightly, perplexed by what Daria and Jane are talking about:)_ Go on--take it. It'll kind of _help_ you out for college.

BARTENDER: _(Smiles as she pockets the money:)_ Thanks! _(Smirks:)_ I guess I won't be seeing you two around here anymore. Kind of a _shame_--you two were the most _intelligent_ people I've met since I've been working here.

DARIA: Oh, I _doubt_ that--otherwise, Jane and I _wouldn't_ have come _here_ in the _first_ place. _(The "bartender" smirks with Jane, and then Daria and Jane leave)_ Take it easy. _(The "bartender" watches them go, and then resumes her work)_

Daria and Jane were leaving the _Haven_ when _Quinn_ came up to them, looking _angry_. Both girls stopped for a moment, looked at her, and then kept going to the SUV, while Quinn followed them as she was talking. Darren's car had just left the parking lot. Unbeknown to any of the parties, the grey Camry that had followed them all there had _gone_.

QUINN: Daria, take me back home _with_ you!

DARIA: _(Cocks an inquisitive eyebrow with Jane:)_ What about going back with Stacy and Tiffany?

QUINN: _(Scowls:) No_ freakin' way! They _stabbed_ me in th' _back_--like _Darren_! I'm not gonna _speak_ to either one of them for awhile, an' I'm thinkin' about doin' the _same_ thing with my _bro_! _(Looks as she's about to **cry**:)_ How could Darren _snap_ at me like that, _defending_ Sandi, of all people, against _me_, his _sister_?!

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ Perhaps it was because you were about to do something even _dumber_ than just coming out here in the _first_ place with Stacy and Tiffany while Darren and Sandi were out--

JANE: --Like, oh, almost getting yourself _kicked out_ of the Fashion Club, and _not_ being able to go to that Fashion Institute place?

QUINN: _(Even more shocked:) YOU_ guys are sidin' with Sandi, _too_?!

DARIA: _(Rolls her eyes, sighs:)_ Quinn--_please_. I'd sooner have _bouncy_ hair and get a new _wardrobe_ full of your _crappy_ fashions than side with Sandi on just about _anything_. What we're saying is, is that you didn't have to do _anything_ tonight. Jane and I were here. _(Frowns:)_ You risked _everything_ to come out here just to _show up_ Sandi, and it almost _backfired_. If anything, I'd wager to guess that Darren _saved_ your ass from _embarassing_ yourself any further--_(smirks with Jane while Quinn glares:)_ although I must say it would've been a _glorious_ battle if you and Sandi actually went at it _physically_.

JANE: _Surely_ you're not gonna blame _Darren_ for _"making"_ you come out here with your _little_ friends, and doing all of this to _yourself_, are you?

Quinn scowled for a moment more, then looked indignant as she got into the back seat of the SUV while Daria and Jane got in the front, _not_ responding to Jane's question, something that wasn't _lost_ on Daria, but she decided to say nothing for the moment.

DARIA: _(Puts on her seat belt:)_ Hey, what about your small bag of _clothes_ you took while supposedly staying over Stacy's tonight?

QUINN: _(Waves it off:)_ Oh, Stacy or Tiffany will _bring_ them to me over the weekend--they'll wanna get back _into_ my good _graces_.

JANE: _(Cocks an eyebrow, turns around:)_ You're _sure_ about that? Based on what happened here tonight, those two looked as if they'd _climb a whole damn mountain_ for Sandi to stay on her good side.

QUINN: _(Narrows her eyes, explains with a passion:)_ For th' _moment_. Stacy considers me to be her _best_ friend in th' Fashion Club, an' Tiffany would wanna _play_ me _against_ Sandi like she _always_ has. _(Smirks:)_ She doesn't _think_ that I know, but I _do_. Give it a _couple_ of days, an' they'll both be _crawlin'_ back to me, 'cause they know they won't be gettin' the _respect_ from Sandi like they'll get from _me_.

DARIA: _(While starting the SUV:)_ Ah, the _"intricacies"_ of Fashion Club _politics_--

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ --You gotta _love_ it.

DARIA: --Or, in _our_ case, be _indifferent_ to it. _(Smirks, while Quinn rolls her eyes)_ Got another question for you, Quinn--what about _mom_ and _dad_? What are you gonna say to them when you come up with me dressed like _that_, and you're _not_ at Stacy's like you _promised_ our parents you would be?

QUINN: _(Now becomes wide-eyed as she looks down on herself:)_ Uh, um--well--_(becomes panicked:)_ you _gotta_ help me, Daria!

DARIA: _(Faux concern:)_ Gee, sis, I _don't_ know--help like _that_ doesn't come _cheap_--

QUINN: _(Pulls out Jake's credit card, smug:)_ I can get some money out of the ATM for you--

DARIA: _(Smirks:) --No_.

JANE & QUINN: _(Shocked:)_ Huh? Come again?

DARIA: Obviously, you two seem to have a _hearing_ problem, so I'll _repeat_ myself for clarification purposes--_no_. I want you to give me something _more_ valuable than money, sis--I want your _pride. (Quinn frowns, confused)_ Quinn, if you want me to get you past mom and dad, I want you to _promise_ to try and not to _stay_ angry at Darren for what happened tonight, and admit you were _wrong_ about what you did about coming out there, and _apologize_ to him.

QUINN: _(Mouth agape, stunned:)_ Daria, are you _crazy_? _I_ wasn't the one who--

DARIA: _(Cuts her off:)_ --Quinn, it's this, or _"The Wrath of Helen", or_, you can figure something out on your _own_--

QUINN: _(Crosses her arms, pouts, bites her lower lip, slams herself back in her seat:) Fine! Okay!_ I _promise_ I _won't_ get mad at Darren for tonight, an' I'll say I'm _sorry_ to him, okay?! _(Sneers:)_ Is that _it_?

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Yep.

JANE: _(Leans over to Daria, in a very low tone out of the side of her mouth:)_ Did I just hear you let Quinn off the _hook_? You could've gotten a lot of _"moolah"_ off of her!

DARIA: _(In the same tone:)_ Nah--I've already had a lot of the _"moolah"_ in my hands for tonight, and Quinn would really just be giving me _dad's_ money. Besides, if we're gonna be looking to see if Darren's _really_ is this "Arthur Appleton Jr.", I'd rather have Quinn and Darren on _good_ terms, and--

Quinn suddenly leaned forward between the two between the front seat, listening.

QUINN: What are you two talkin' about? _(Narrows her eyes:)_ It isn't about _me_, is it? 'Cause if it is--

DARIA: --Jane and I were just talking, _"Nosy"_--go back to your _"fashion fantasies"_ and dream of _"walkway visions of glory". (Jane smirks)_ Besides, if we _were_ talking about _you_, Jane and I would be _laughing_ so _hard_, I'd probably lose _control_ of the SUV, it would _flip_ like crazy, and we'd all _crash and burn. (Quinn scowls at Daria, while Jane tries not to laugh)_

JANE: C'mon, Quinn--we're just _"shooting the breeze"_, you know, _girl_ talk and all--no need to get all _riled up_ and everything.

QUINN: _Oh. (Sits back in the backseat slowly this time, sighs, looks out her door window:)_ You know, I'll bet Sandi's probably havin' a good _laugh_ at me right now--

Up ahead, Darren was driving back to Lawndale with Sandi, who looked as _smug_ as she had been in a long time. To her, Darren had put _down_ his _own_ sister, her greatest _enemy_, in front of that crowd--all for _Sandi_, and after he cut _down_ that bouncer in a _heartbeat_. She cut her eyes over at the seemingly _impassive_ and quiet Darren, who looked like he was _thinking_ about something--possibly _her_? Sandi hoped _against_ hope--did he _like_ her enough to _defend_ her like that? Maybe Darren and that--that--what was her _name_ again? _Janet_? _Jill_? _Jo_? No--wait--_Jane_, yes, that was _it_--were on the _skids_? Sandi wondered if she should _ask_ him _right_ out, then _lost_ her nerve at the last minute. She decided to wait for _later_, perhaps just before they--_kissed_ to end the date, then go over to Quinn's tomorrow, and _rub_ it in about being with her brother--_that_ would teach her not to _challenge_ Sandi's _authority_. She slowly smiled to herself and looked back out of her car door window, dreamily. _Oh, Darren--by the time you feel my kiss, you'll never want to go back to that "art geek weirdo" again_.

Darren drove at a steady pace on the way back to Lawndale consumed by three things on his mind--_Sanchez, Sandi,_ and _Quinn_. He was beginning to wonder if Woo could _ever_ find him, and to end any and all speculation about who hired Sanchez to kill his parents. He began to feel _frazzled_ by the _building_ pressure on him--this was beginning to get more and more _unbearable_ everyday. He wished he could be with _Jane_ right now--she could take his mind _off_ of all of this. Darren cut his eyes over at the _surprisingly_ quiet Sandi, who was looking out of the window. _Good_--the _last_ thing he needed was her saying _anything_ right now to him about Quinn. In reality, Darren wanted to get _out_ of that place when Quinn and Sandi had their little _"powerplay"_--he was _tired_, and simply wanted the date to end, but that "Mr. Shaw" and "Curly" would not _let_ him leave, and he found himself _fighting_. He wondered about his recent _"drawing"_ power when it came to _trouble_--it almost rivaled his _"girl-drawing"_ power. First, that "Rocco" guy, then this "Curly" fellow--what was it about _him_? _Why_ did it seem that _he_ was some sort of _lightning rod_ when it came to _trouble_?

_Quinn--why_ did she _do_ that? Daria and Jane were there, she didn't have to--he immediately _berated_ himself over such a _simple_ thought as that--to get _back_ at Sandi, of course. If only she could have chosen _another_ time--_anytime_ to play her little _"games"_ with Sandi, but _nooo_--it had to be _then_ and _there_. If Quinn had not brought Stacy and Tiffany, the night would have gone smoother (and quieter), and he would have never been in that fight in the _first_ place. He looked over at Sandi again. Perhaps he should say _something_ to her--to stay quiet would be _rude_, even if it _was_ this girl. He spoke in a tepid manner.

DARREN: _(Glances over at her:)_ Ah, uh, Sandi? About what happened back there--I'm _sorry_ about--

SANDI: _(Smirks, looks over at him with a gleam in her eye:)_ Like, it's _okay_, Darren--what you did was so _noble_ an' stuff.

DARREN: _(Looks surprised, thought v.o.: **Oh no**. She doesn't think that--)_ Look, Sandi--perhaps we should get something _straight_ here. I only shouted at Quinn like that to _stop_ her from making the situation any _worse_. I did _not_ take _your_ side, if that's what you're thinking. Yes, I'll admit Quinn did come to the _Haven_ and _instigated_ the situation, but--

SANDI: _(Still has the same smirk:) --Suuure_ you didn't, Darren--_whatever_ you say.

DARREN: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ You _don't_ believe me?

SANDI: _(Throws her hair back in a flippant manner:)_ Like, you can be _honest_ with me, Darren. _(Gives him a **"seductive"** look:)_ You went _against_ Quinn, your _own_ sister, and took _my_ side. That _alone_ told me that you were _attracted_ to me. _(Begins to slide **over** to Darren)_

DARREN: _(Wide-eyed, shocked, flinches as he sees her do so, but still controls the car:) WHAT_?! This _isn't_ happening, it _can't_ be. _(Glances back over at Sandi, trying like crazy to control his rising anger:)_ Sandi-I-told-you-that-I-do-NOT-like-you! I have _Jane_ as a girlfriend, remember?!

SANDI: _(Now stops sliding, looks at Darren, confused:)_ But, don't you _like_ me? I thought for _sure_ after what happened tonight that you _did_!

DARREN: _(Looks at her out of the corner of his eye:)_ Where did _THAT_ come from?! _(Thinks for a moment:)_ Look, Sandi--is this about your thinking that I have _money_ again? I'll admit that I, er, have _some_, but that's it, and--

Sandi looked at Darren, actually _shocked_, or at least that what it seemed to Darren. She suddenly _sighed_, grew very quiet, then began to slide _back_ to her side of the car. Darren was stunned by the sudden change in persona on Sandi's part. _Whoa--now what_? Darren did _not_ expect that--a _trick_ perhaps? He remembered what had Quinn told him about Sandi's _"habits"_ of _tricking_ people to get what she wanted (Quinn herself doing the same thing, of course)--maybe this was _one_ of those times?

DARREN: _(After a long moment:)_ Er, Sandi? Are you all right? _(Grows quiet:)_ Look, about the "money" crack--I'm _sorry_ about saying--

SANDI: _(Now looks at Darren quietly:) --No_, it's _not_ about the money, Darren--it's like, about what you just _said. (Looks away)_

DARREN: _(Frowns, looks perplexed:)_ Eh? _"Said"_? What are you _talking_ about? I'm _sorry_, but--

SANDI: _(Points at him:) --There_! _That_! What you said! _"Sorry"_!

DARREN: _(Now even more confused:)_ Huh? _"Sorry"_? I don't understand--

SANDI: _(Pouts, crosses her arms, looks ahead:)_ --It's, like, you're, well--uh, so _nice_ an' everything, an' so much of a _gentleman_. You never took _advantage_ of me or anything while we were on th' dance floor, even though I gave you _every_ chance to do so, an' stuff. You even, like, asked me about my _future_ after high school an' everything. _(Pauses for her next words, speaks very low:)_ No guy's _ever_ been like that to _me_, you know? It's usually like, _"Backseat Time"_, an' I like, get _carried away_ in th' moment, and we like, _make out_! But _you're_ not like that! You're--you're--

DARREN: _(Now finding himself suddenly interested:)_ --I'm--I'm--_what_?

SANDI: _(Looks down, red-faced:)_ --you're really a _good_ guy. You seem to like, _respect_ me an' stuff. I just thought that maybe after what happened with Quinn, and the way you _beat_ that muscled guy who _bullied_ us, that you kind of _liked_ me, by, like, _defending_ us, that's all. _(Quickly looks everywhere but at a now-shocked Darren:)_ I, well, I really _do_ find myself liking you because of that. _Stupid_, huh? _(Adds:)_ I guess Jane's, like, _lucky_, an' stuff, an' I'm _not. (Sighs)_

DARREN: _(After a moment of getting over his shock:)_ S-Sandi, I-I don't know _what_ to say, except that, ah, uh--

SANDI: _(Cuts her eyes over at Darren, smirks:)_ --That you're _"sorry"_, Darren?

DARREN: _(Smiles slightly while looking forward:) Yes_, I guess you _can_ say that, Sandi. _(Sighs:)_ But like I said, you can get _any_ guy you want. _(Thought v.o.: Maybe after you've improved your **haughty** attitude, that is.)_

SANDI: _(Thought v.o. while looking out of the window: Yeah--just not **you**. [Smirks:] At least not **yet**. You're **everything** I could **hope** for in a guy, Darren--you're handsome, nice, smart, you can, like, **handle** yourself, an' you're probably **rich**. Jane's gonna find herself in a **battle** an' stuff, an' I plan to come out on **top** like I **always** do, an' really make Quinn **mad**, too--havin' her **brother** an' everything--I'll just, like, have to **bide** my time an' stuff.)_

_(Scene changes to William Appleton's apartment, the same time)_

William Appleton was up for a late-night conversation on his cell phone while propped up in his bed. He had several files strewn about on it, the _same_ files he had collected from the coffee table that Benny had put back on after William had smacked him down on the floor. He was speaking to the man whom he had sent to Lawndale to spy on Darren.

WILLIAM: _(Smirks:)_--That's right, ah--_Oscar_, right? I just got off the phone after talking to a _"Lt. Keller"_ of the L.A.P.D., and he _"broke"_ the news of Sanchez's death to me, and _"informed"_ me of what he found concerning what Sanchez had done to cause the crash that killed my _"poor"_ brother and sister-in-law, and of his _"suspicions"_ that someone _"may have"_ murdered them to somehow or another to get control of Appleton Industries. _(Laughs:)_ The _fool_ told me that I _wasn't_ considered to be a suspect because I was _chosen_ to be Chairman by my _"nephew"_, and thusly there was _no_ motive for me to kill Arthur Sr. and Lucille--what an _idiot_--he didn't even say that _Woo_ had to have told him about Sanchez, as if Lt. Keller and the L.A.P.D. _themselves_ came up with the answers! I added that I would get in _"contact"_ with my sister and _"nephew"_ to let them know about the _"stunning"_ news during this time also. I, in my _"grief"_ and _"shock"_, also asked the good detective to ask his superiors to _wait_ until _Monday_ before announcing what Sanchez actually did to the media, so I could inform the Board and the stockholders of this _"incredible"_ development. I've already called my secretary Lilly at her home, and told her that I'm going out of town for the next _few_ days in a _private_ location because I'm _"bereaved"_, and wouldn't be back until Monday morning. Benny and I will take _Norwood_ with us, and slip out of town to this _"Lawndale"_ and _join_ you and the other men via _minivan_--no need to bring _attention_ to ourselves by coming in on a private jet.

OSCAR: Yessir. I've checked around this _"Lawndale"_ just as you've said, Boss, and I think I've found the _isolated_ spot you're looking for to _"deal"_ with your _"nephew"._

WILLIAM: _(Grins:)_ Excellent, Oscar--where is it?

OSCAR: Near the _waterfront_, about _five_ miles outside of the town. It's called _(pauses, is heard shifting some papers:)_ the _Carter County Bay Warehouse District_, consisting of several old, huge, mostly-abandoned warehouses that are sitting by some docks, and are _innerconnected_ with each other, which surround an inlet there. I sat there in my car for several _hours_ yesterday after tailing Darren Appleton and his friends around, trying to see if anyone around here even knows if the place _exists_. It seems that the local _"Barney Fife"_ cops don't come around here at _all_, so whatever you want to do with your _"nephew"_, you'll have _plenty_ of time to do it.

_(Note to reader: I'm taking the "waterfront" location from "Just Add Water", in case you're wondering, since it seems that Lawndale apparently is located near water because of that episode.)_

WILLIAM: _(Sinister grin:) Excellent_, Oscar--I _knew_ I could count on _you--(frowns, mumbles:)_ unlike some _other_ people.

OSCAR: Huh? What do you mean, Boss?

WILLIAM: _(Sighs:) Never_ mind, Oscar. Anyway, I'm _still_ not going to take any chances--I want you on _top_ of one of those warehouse roofs to act as a _lookout_ when I get my _"nephew"_ to _come_ there. In the meantime, I'm going to put in _"Phase Two"_ of my plan.

OSCAR: _"Phase Two"_, Boss?

WILLIAM: Yes--to _lure_ in his "birth family" to those warehouses. Based on the personal info you've given me concerning these--_"Morgendazzers"--_

OSCAR: _(Gently interrupts:)_ Uh, Boss, I think it's Morgen_DORFFERS_--

WILLIAM: _(Rolls his eyes, talks through clenched teeth, looks down to his right side for some reason:)_ --Morgen_DORFFERS_, Oscar, I think I know how to _reel_ them in as _"insurance"_ to get my _"nephew"_ to sign over _everything_ to me before I _kill_ him.

OSCAR: How's that, Boss?

WILLIAM: You told me based on the information you acquired that my _"nephew's"_ birth parents fit the _"workaholic"_ mold when it comes to their careers, looking for an additional _"edge"_ to get ahead, staying out _extra_ hours to work, and such. I can use this to my advantage by appealing to that part of their careers. _(Pauses:)_ You know, in a _way_, it's too _bad_ they're my _"nephew's"_ birth parents--I could _use_ people like that to do _business_ with, that is, with all of their _ambition_ and such. _(Shrugs:)_ Oh, well--

OSCAR: _(Snickers sinisterly:)_ --I think I see what you're _planning_, Boss--_(pauses:)_ what about their _daughters_, your _"nephew's"_ birth sisters?

WILLIAM: I'll try to get them to come _along_ with my _"nephew's"_ birth parents--if I can't, then possibly _separately_. Either way, I want to try and have Darren's _whole_ birth family there, as well--the more _"insurance"_, the better.

OSCAR: Does that include his _girlfriend_, too, Boss?

WILLIAM: _(Amused look on his face:)_ Oh, that's _right_--my _"nephew"_ has a _new_ girlfriend, too. _(In a sneering tone:)_ Looks as if he's gotten over his _"Dear Stephanie"_, it seems. Well, if you can, get _her_, too.

OSCAR: Will do, sir--does this mean that you've decided to _eliminate_ them _all_ as well? There are an awfully _lot_ of people we're dealing with, here, Boss--you know, _"loose ends"_, and all.

WILLIAM: _(After a moment:)_ Hmm--yes, I've--_considered_ that. Well, as I've told Benny, I've no _real_ quarrel with these--_"Morgendeckers"--(looks down to his right side again:)_ I mean, "Morgendorffers", despite the fact that they _"spawned"_ Darren--or with his _girlfriend_, for that matter--they represent _no_ threat to me. _(Pauses, ponders:)_ I haven't _decided_ on what to do with them yet _when_ we get them. I'm probably going to still be deciding up until the _last_ minute--have those _masks_ and that _other_ equipment ready for our men to help _"secure"_ our _"insurance"_ so they can't identify any of you when you take them. In the meantime, have you found a _very_ low-key place for me to _stay_ in this--_"Lawndale"_?

OSCAR: Sure, Boss--I got an _"ordinary-looking"_ room at a _low-budget_ motel called _Knight's Inn_ that's only a mile-and-a-half from the warehouses. I thought about a place called the _Stopover Motel_, but it was a little _too_ well-known around here, and you said you didn't want _anybody_ to know that you're coming here.

WILLIAM: That's _right_--I don't. Good work, Oscar--you'll earn an _extra_ bonus after this is over. Now, I'm going to put my _"plan"_ in action. I'll call you tomorrow morning in the minivan and we'll go over any potential _flaws_ we might see in the plan. Get some sleep, now.

OSCAR: Okay, Boss. _(Hangs up)_

William began to dial, but looked once again down to his right, to some files and a pad lying _beside_ him. On the pad was the name _"Morgendorffer"_.

_(Scene changes to the Morgendorffer's, the same time)_

Helen and Jake were sitting in the living room on the center couch, leaning against each other, sighing contentedly, and drinking red wine with a lone lighted candle that was sitting in the middle of the coffee table. The evening had gone quite well. Jake had prepared a small dinner of cornish hens, and wild rice on the side, just large enough for him and Helen, and it was actually _delicious_. Both had a slice of cheesecake for dessert, and were now listening to _Mona Lisa_ by Nat King Cole on a CD player that was sitting beside the cell phone on the coffee table.

HELEN: _(Dreamily:)_ Oh Jake--isn't this wonderful? We have the house all to ourselves, Daria out with this _"Martin"_ fellow, Darren out with Jane, and Quinn being over at _Stacy's_.

JAKE: _(Ditto:) Yeeeeah_--Ol' Nat on the CD, and you and me, sweetheart--what could be more romantic? _(Pauses, realizes:)_ Uh, Helen, do ya think we ought to call the _Rowes_ and _check up_ on Quinn? You know, just to make sure everything's _okay_?

HELEN: _(Surprised, looks up into Jake's eyes:)_ Hmmm? Why, honey? Quinn's _safe_ where she is with her friends. Let her _enjoy_ herself, Jakey--she's _earned_ it after _making up_ with Daria.

JAKE: _(Shrugs:)_ Yeah, I guess you're _right_, honey--our sweetie-pie's entitled to have some fun with her friends. _(Looks at his watch, cocks an eyebrow:)_ Besides, it's kinda--_late_, anyway. I wouldn't want to wake 'em up if they're _sleeping_.

HELEN: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Jake, it's a _slumber_ party. Quinn and her friends could be up _most_ of the night, and--

The cell phone on the coffee table suddenly rang. Helen was about to reach for it when Jake gently _grabbed_ her wrist. She looked at him, a bit surprised.

JAKE: Aw, _let_ it ring, honey--it's probably that _"Eric"_ guy calling you, and wanting you to come in tomorrow _morning_! _(Frowns:)_ Why can't he just wait until _then_ to call you?! I mean we're trying to have some _quiet_ time here, and he decides to call on his damn _pet_ to--_(turns pale:) oops_!

HELEN: _(Frowns herself now:) --Ohhhh_--so I'm a _"pet"_, am I, Jake?

JAKE: _(Suddenly nervous:)_ O-oh _no_, sweetheart! I-I mean, well, uh--

HELEN: _(Glares, cuts him off:)_ --We'll _talk_ about this, _later_, Jake. You know as well as I do that my job reqiures me to be ready at _any_ time! This could be _one_ of those times! Besides, it could Daria or Darren calling us for some _help_ if their car _broke down_, or something. _(Turns off CD player, grabs phone on fourth ring, clicks it on, in her falsetto voice:) Hellooo_?

VOICE: _(Sounding "cheerful":)_ Hello, is this the uh--_(pauses:) Mor-gen-dor-ffer_ residence?

HELEN: _(Sits up, while Jake sits back in the couch with a pout and an eye roll, arms crossed:)_ Why, yes it is, Mr.--

VOICE: --_Smith--John Smith_. I'm sorry for calling so late, but I figured that I could catch you at this time.

HELEN: _(Sounding slightly annoyed:)_ Well, Mr. Smith, my husband and I _were_ relaxing here at our home, and--

SMITH: _(Cuts her off gently:)_ --I won't take up too much of your time tonight, Mrs. _(pauses:)_ Mor-gen-dor-ffer, and please, call me _John_. I've been--_watching_ you and your husband for a while from _afar_.

HELEN: _(Cocks an inquisitive eyebrow:)_ You've been--_"watching"_ us, er--John? I'm afraid I don't _understand_, and please call _me_ Helen.

SMITH: _(In an assuring tone:)_ Please don't be _alarmed_, Helen. I meant that I've been watching your _work_ you and your husband have been doing in your perspective careers, you as a _lawyer_, and he as an _marketing consultant_, and I must say, I am quite _impressed. (Pauses:)_ I thought what happened on the _Van Reefs_ case was a _travesty_, an utter and complete travesty. Your firm should have _won_ that land case.

HELEN: _(Now impressed in spite of herself:) Oooh_, well--thank you, John--_(frowns:)_ those rich _bastards_ had the _money_ to get their way, and we couldn't _counter_ that. _(Ponders:)_ Now when I think about it, I wouldn't have been surprised if the Van Reefs _paid_ the judge or some of the jurors off to help rule in their _favor_.

SMITH: _(After a pause:)_ Of--_course_. Anyway, I also wanted to say that your husband--er, Jake, did a terrific job on that _eyeglass_ account, too. _(Laughs:)_ I like the ad slogan: _"An Eye For An Eye With Us"_! _Sheer_ genius!

HELEN: _(Cocks an eyebrow, looks over at Jake:)_ You _know_ about my husband's _eyeglass_ account? _(Jake now perks up at her, interested, goes over and listens to the phone next to Helen)_ W-why, how did you _know_ that, John?

SMITH: _(Chuckling sound:)_ Like I said, Helen--I've _watched_ you and your husband's remarkable work for some time, and I'd like to _meet_ you and your _family_, if I could, or at least you and your husband, Jake. If you do, it could be very _lucrative_ for _me_--er, I mean _all_ of us. You see, I am an aspiring _inventor_ that _inherited_ a rather large amount of money from a dead _relative_, and I used most of the money to create a _"product"_ that I want to share with you and your husband--it involves a _combination_ of endorsing a _very_ special, yet very _secret_ product that I want to introduce to the public, with your husband's _expertise_ in selling, and your _legal_ opinions of--protecting my "product's" _copyrights_ for when I show it to the _world. (Adds:)_ My "product" is _so_ secret, I can't discuss it over the phone. It could mean _millions_ of dollars for you and your husband. If you're interested--

JAKE: _(Wide-eyed, and screams in the speaker part, while Helen winces from hearing Jake's scream in her ear:)_ --YOU'RE _DAMN_ RIGHT WE'RE INTERESTED!!

HELEN: _(Frowns, covers the phone:)_ JAKE, WILL YOU PIPE DOWN?! _(Jake cowers a bit, but still stays near the phone, listening, while Helen regains her composure, and uncovers the phone:)_ Now, (ahem)--um, John--this all seems too _good_ to be true--

SMITH: --I'm sure it _is_, Helen, and I don't _blame_ you for having some _doubts. (Pauses:)_ How about if I offer a _fee_ for you and your husband just for coming out to _meet_ me and viewing my "product"--say about _$25,000_?

JAKE: _(Before Helen can say anything:) $25,000_?! HELL YEAH, HELEN--_TAKE IT_!! _(Once again, Helen winces from Jake's screaming)_

HELEN: _(Through clenched teeth, warning tone, covers the speaker part:)_ Damn it, Jake--DON'T-DO-THAT-AGAIN!! _(Jake jumps back in fear, while Helen goes back on the phone:)_ I've uh, _"talked"_ to my husband, John, and we're _definitely_ interested--

SMITH: _(In a delighted tone:) --Spendid_! I'd like to arrange a meeting tomorrow _night_ if that's all right--?

HELEN: Very well, John--is there some _restaurant_ that you might want to go to here in Lawndale, or something--?

SMITH: Actually, Helen, I'd--like to--meet you all at a--_secret_ location first, and look at my "product", then we can go to a restaurant, if that's okay with you. I'm--_protective_ of it, you understand--is there any place you want to go after we meet each other?

HELEN: --Of course I understand, John, and we can then go to a place here called _Chez Pierre_--where do you want to meet us to see your "product"?

SMITH: At the _Carter County Bay Warehouse District_. I _know_ we'll have _absolute_ privacy there to--_"conduct"_ our business.

JAKE: _(While leaning over to the phone:)_ Boy, _I'll_ say! That place is almost _decrepit_! I've read that some _developer_ plans to _bulldoze_ everything and put up some _shops_ and _homes_ there--

HELEN: _(Frowns, covers the speaker part again:)_ Yes Jake--the _Van Reefs_ own _part_ of that land out there--_(mutters to herself:)_ and just about every _other_ damn thing around here. _(Resumes her normal voice on the phone after she uncovers it:)_ We'll be there, John--what _time_ do you want to meet?

SMITH: _(Pauses:)_ Oh--how about _6:30 p.m._, Helen? _(Adds:)_ Er, do you think you and your husband will be able to bring your _family_ there as well?

HELEN: _(After a moment:)_ I'm--_not_ sure. I think I heard that my son and middle daughter plan to go to a place called _McGrundy's_ tomorrow night with a friend, but I'm sure my _youngest_ daughter will come with us. She's _grounded_.

SMITH: _(Chuckling sound again:) Grounded_ you say? Ah, yes--well, _children_ will be children, I suppose. I'll see you all there, then. Goodnight.

HELEN: We'll be there, John. Goodnight. (Hangs up) 

Jake suddenly jumped around, and started to _dance_ in a circle, then _grabbed_ a _giggling_ Helen, laughing, and spinning _her_ around, as well.

JAKE: _(Grins like a fool:)_ We're on our way, honey--we're on our _way_! YAHOO!! _(Thought v.o.: Now **"Mister High-And-Mighty"** Hopkins will get **his**!)_

HELEN: _(While being spun around:)_ I hope so, Jakey--if this pans out, I'm _sure_ to get Eric's attention for that _partnership_ at the firm! _(Thought v.o., smirks: **Linda's** sure to seethe after I rub this in her **damn** face)_

_(Scene changes to the Griffin's, 30 minutes later)_

Darren's car pulled up to the front of the Griffin home, and he got out and went to the passenger side to hold open the door for a slightly smirking Sandi. Down the street, Helen's red SUV, with Daria, Jane, and Quinn inside, slowed to a crawl about two houses down, just in sight of the Griffin residence. Daria turned off the headlights so Sandi would not notice them. There was silence in the SUV for a moment, then Quinn spoke.

QUINN: _(Frowns:)_ You guys know how all dates _end_, don't you? _(Pauses, smirks slowly:)_ Well, I'm sure _Jane_ knows at least. _(Daria gives a small glare in the interior rearview mirror at Quinn)_

JANE: _(Narrows her eyes at the Griffin's, clenched teeth:)_ Oh, _crap_--

DARIA: --Steady there, Lane. I'm sure Darren won't let Sandi _kiss_ him.

JANE: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Unless she _surprises_ him--

QUINN: _(Wicked smirk, enjoys Jane's sqirming:)_ --Like _you_ did my bro at that weird _Zen_ place? _(Now Jane glares at Quinn through the mirror)_ I dunno--Sandi's pretty _slick_ with her _tounge, (adds:)_ if you know what I _mean_--

DARIA: --Oh, so _you've_ experienced that _first_ hand, sis? I didn't know you went _both_ ways. _(Jane for once, does not smirk at Daria's barb, but still looks apprehensively at the Griffin residence, while Quinn looks at Daria wide-eyed and disgusted)_

QUINN: _EWWWWW_! That's _really_ gross, Daria! I _meant_, I _heard_ a guy _tell_ me how she kissed! _(Pauses, then adds:) After_ he went out with _me_, of course.

DARIA: _(Deadpan, looks in the mirror at Quinn:)_ So it's not only fashions and the amount of boys you both compete over, but now over who _kisses_ the best? _(Smirks:)_ What's _next_, who's gonna be better in _b--(sees Jane getting out of the SUV:)_ Jane, where in the hell are you going?

JANE: _(Looks back through the passenger side window:)_ Where do you _think_, Daria? This is her _last_ chance, and she's gonna try _something_, I just _know_ it! _(Leaves)_

QUINN: _(Narrows her eyes:)_ Not with _my_ bro, she isn't! _(Gets out and follows Jane)_

DARIA: Uh, guys? _(Thought v.o.: Wonderful--now we're on a damn **reconnaissance** mission--too bad I didn't bring my **infra-red** goggles.) (Sighs, gets out and follows Jane and Quinn)_

Darren and Sandi came up to the door.

DARREN: Well, I hope you had a good time, my sister's little _"interruption"_ notwithstanding, so if there's nothing _else_--? _(Starts to turn around to leave)_

SANDI: _(Alarmed, grabs Darren's shoulder:)_ Uh, like, _wait_, Darren! _(Looks up at the starry night sky:)_ It's like, a beautiful night, isn't it? The _moon_ looks so _pretty_ an' stuff. _(Begins to pucker her mouth up, thought v.o.: Just a little **closer**--)_

DARREN: _(Steals a glance at the sky, then at Sandi:)_ Oh, uh, yes it is, Sandi --all of those stars are making me feel--_tired_. Well, I've got to _go_, goodnight--_(starts to leave, again, this time goes down the walkway quickly)_

SANDI: _(Starts to frown, then:) DARREN_!! _(Darren flinches partway down the walk, slowly turns around)_ I, like, think you should uh--

DARREN: _(Sighs heavily:) --Kiss_ you to end the _"date"_, Sandi? _(Looks at her pointedly:)_ You _know_ I can't do that.

SANDI: _(Walks towards him in a **seductive** manner, smirks:)_ And why _not_? Jane doesn't like, _have_ to know.

At the same time, Jane, Quinn, and Daria were standing behind some tall bushes a house down from the Griffins, watching and hearing the exchange. The girls began to speak in hushed tones, with Jane beginning the exchange.

JANE: _(Glares:)_ But I _do_ know--and I'll be _damned_ if I'm gonna let that _tramp_ kiss Darren!

QUINN: _(Ditto:)_ You an' me _both_, Jane! I'm not gonna let Sandi rub _that_ in my face!

DARIA: _(Deadpan voice:)_ You two _do_ realize that if she sees _either_ one of you, _especially_ you again, Quinn, that she'll _kick_ you _out_ of the Fashion Club, and that all of the _begging_ and _flattery_ in the _known_ universe won't change Sandi's mind in letting you back _in_ this time? _(Looks at Jane:)_ Jane, I think you should _trust_ Darren's _judgement_, and let him handle this.

Jane looked like she was about to say something to Daria, then looked down and sighed. Incidentally, Quinn glared at Daria for a second, then did the _same_ thing.

JANE: _Damn_--you're _right_, Daria--you're right. I gotta _trust_ Darren.

QUINN: This just makes me _so_ mad--an' I can't do a _damn_ thing except _watch_ it! _(Crosses her arms, pouts, resumes watching with the others)_

Darren held Sandi out at arm's length, and spoke.

DARREN: No, but _I'd_ know, Sandi--I couldn't face Jane and pretend to tell her that _nothing_ happened _(thought v.o.: Especially since I **know** she's probably **watching** me right **now**.)_ when something _did_. I couldn't, er--_live_ with myself if we kissed.

SANDI: _(Rolls her eyes, stomps:) Damn it_, Darren--why do you haveta be so _straight_ all of the time? It's just a _little_ kiss! If she asks, you can, like, tell Jane that you wanted to like, uh, _end_ the date on a _"positive"_ note, or something or another! _(Jane and Quinn roll their eyes, while Daria watches impassively)_

DARREN: _(Narrows his eyes, speaks in a determined tone:) No_, Sandi--the deal was for a date, and I've _fulfilled_ my end of the bargain. Goodnight. _(Turns around to leave)_

SANDI: _(Looks desperate, thought v.o.: If **this** doesn't work, **nothing** will.)_ Darren, wait, I, _oooops--(suddenly faux stumbles forward to the ground)_

In a flash, Darren had grabbed Sandi around her waist, keeping her from falling, and she _leaned_ against him to keep her balance, on his chest. Jane, Quinn, and now even _Daria_ looked at the scene, wide-eyed, and surprised.

JANE: _(Alarm bells going off:) Ohhelldamnitall--(looks at Daria, exasperated:)_ sorry, Daria, Quinn--but I can't allow _this--(starts to come out of the bushes)_

QUINN: _(Gasps at the scene, frowns:) Hell_ no, I _don't_ think so, Sandi! _(Begins to follow Jane, thought v.o.: I gotta try that **myself** on a date!)_

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ And all _hell_ promptly breaks loose. I hope Quinn enjoys _beauty school. (Begins to follow both through the bushes)_

Simultaneously, Darren's face was only _inches_ from Sandi's. He looked at her wide-eyed. _Darren, you idiot! You should've known this was a **trick**!_ Sandi smirked wickedly--she had him just where she _wanted_ him.

SANDI: _(Closes her eyes, thought v.o.: You're **mine**, Darren! **Pucker up**!) (Begins to close the remaining distance)_

Suddenly, the front door of the Griffin's residence opened, and _Tom Griffin_ stood in the doorway in his pajamas and housecoat, frowning. Jane and Quinn stopped in their tracks when they saw Mr. Griffin, doing it so fast, Daria almost _stumbled_ over both of them. Both Quinn and Jane looked at each other foolishly, then went back into the bushes, _dragging_ a surprised Daria _back_ with them on each arm, then resumed their watching. Mr Griffin started to speak as he walked down the small walkway to Darren and Sandi.

MR. GRIFFIN: _(Looks incensed, but struggles to actually **appear** to be:)_ And um--just _what_, pray tell, were you _doing_ with my daughter, young man?

DARREN: _(Wide-eyed, gently pushes Sandi away from him:)_ Er, ah, it's not what it looks like, Mr. Griffin, really! You see, your daughter fell forward, and--

SANDI: _(Cuts him off, glares at her father:) Fatheeer_! You like, _ruined_ a _private_ moment, here! Would you like, _leave_ us alone now, _(pauses, smirks:)_ or should I like, get _mother_ to come out here, an' stuff?

For the tiniest instant, Tom Griffin turned _pale_--for the _tiniest_ instant, that is. He then frowned even _more_ deeply, and turned a _very_ deep shade of _purple_, something both Darren and Sandi caught onto _extremely_ quickly.

MR. GRIFFIN: _(Roars, points to the open front door:)_ SANDI FELICIA GRIFFIN, GET YOUR ASS IN THE HOUSE THIS INSTANT! _(Sandi is stunned at his outburst, then sheepishly goes by her scowling father, only to stop at the doorway, turn around, and give Mr. Griffin a cold glare) (In the bushes, Quinn is trying like **crazy** not to **bust out** laughing, but is just **barely** doing so, thanks to Daria and Jane holding their **hands** over her mouth and **her** while watching Darren and Mr. Griffin)_

_(Note to reader: Hey, I'm only **guessing** Sandi's middle name, here!)_

SANDI: We'll see what happens _tomorrow_ when _mother_ finds out what you've _done_, Father. _(Looks at Darren, her face softens a bit:)_ Goodnight, Darren--I really _did_ have a good time with you tonight. Perhaps we can do it _again_ some time. _(Turns around, goes into the house and saunters cooly up the stairs)_

DARREN: _(Thought v.o., sighs, watches her go up: Not in **this** lifetime, or any **other** one, if I can help it.)_

Mr. Griffin gave a very relieved sigh of his _own_, and turned to a now-_worried_ Darren.

DARREN: _(Holds up his hands:)_ Uh, Mr. Griffin, I know you might not believe me, but I _swear_ I did _not_--

MR. GRIFFIN: _(Breaks out into a slow smile:)_ --It's _okay_, Darren--I _believe_ you.

DARREN: _(Dumbfounded beyond belief:) Whaaaat_? But--but--

MR. GRIFFIN: _(Smirks:)_ I _sneaked_ out of bed and waited downstairs for the two of you to come in. I've been watching the _whole_ scene since you two came up to our home. I figured you needed a _break_ from my daughter's--er, _"advancements"_, sort to speak.

DARREN: _(Now regains his senses:)_ I--don't--understand, Mr. Griffin. Why--

MR. GRIFFIN: --Why did I do what I did? _(Grows quiet:)_ Well, son, it's like this--my wife basically _runs_ this house. I suspected you probably _guessed_ this was _true_ when you came here for Sandi tonight, am I right? _(Darren looks uncomfortable, says nothing)_ Well, it's the _truth_, I might as well _admit_ it--Linda basically makes _all_ of the decisions here, and I'm just a _stooge. (Smirks:)_ I'll just _bet_ that your birth father _Jake_ is more in _"control"_ of _his_ home than I am. _(Darren holds his tounge, though it's quite a **challenge** for him to do so, while Quinn snorts, and Jane and Daria smirk)_ Anyway, my daughter basically is a _spoiled brat_, even _more_ so than my two sons, thanks to my wife. Sandi gets her way with _everyone_, save Linda, _(sighs:)_ including _me_. My daughter, as you've just witnessed, has at times even _used_ Linda as a sort of _"shield"_ against me. _(Quinn gasps in surprise, smirks some more, while Daria and Jane shrug)_ Generally, when she comes home late on a date, I don't say _anything_ because I know Linda will take _her_ side, saying _(in a slightly bitter tone:)_ that Sandi's _"responsible enough"_. I'd tell you _why_ this is so, but it's kind of--long and--_complicated. (Pauses, looks at Darren, frowns in thought:)_ Tonight, however, I decided to make an _exception_ in _your_ case. You looked as if you _didn't_ want to be here, correct? _(Darren slowly nods in the affirmative)_ Ah, good--I wondered why you looked sort of _depressed_ tonight when you came to pick up my daughter. I wanted to _ask_ you out of curiousity, but _Linda_ was there, and I couldn't. Sandi's been _raving_ about you around our dinner table since she first saw you with your--_cou_--er, no, that's not quite right--_sister_ Quinn at that pizza place she goes out to with her Fashion Club friends. I've _never_ seen her go on about a young fellow like she did about _you_, Darren. _(Darren cocks a surprised eyebrow, while Jane and Quinn look at each other shocked, and Daria simply continues to look at the scene impassively)_

DARREN: Ah, don't take what I confirmed to you _wrong_ about not wanting to go out with your daughter tonight, Mr. Griffin--as I told Sandi, she could have _any_ guy she wants--it's just that I _already_ have a girlfriend that _(raises his voice a tad louder to enable Jane to hear)_ I like _very_ much _(Jane gives a contented smirk, while Quinn rolls her eyes, and Daria continues to look impassive)_, and I'm kind of _eager_ to get back to her after I leave here tonight.

MR. GRIFFIN: Of course, Darren--though I am _curious_ to know one thing--_why_ did you go out _with_ my daughter tonight if you _already_ have a girlfriend?

DARREN: _(After a moment, sighs:)_ Well, Mr. Griffin--I basically did it to keep my sister Quinn _in_ the Fashion Club--_(Quinn looks down a bit red-faced, a little ashamed, while Jane glares at her for a moment, and Daria continues her impassive look)_ your daughter would've kicked her _out_ if I didn't. Actually, you just _said_ the reason yourself without _realizing_ it--that Quinn is Daria's and mine's _sister_, and not cousin. Sandi, your wife, and my birth mother found out about it this week while we were eating at that _Milligan's_ place. Sandi was about to use Quinn's--er, _lie_ as an excuse to do the deed.

MR. GRIFFIN: _(Nods:)_ Ah, _now_ I'm beginning to understand what's going on here--Linda seemed quite _excited_ about your going out on this _"date"_ with Sandi--_(ponders:)_ I wonder if Linda _knew_ what Sandi was _up_ to?

DARREN: _(Speculates privately, tempted to say "yes", but shrugs instead:)_ I don't know, sir--I'm just glad that it's _over_ for tonight--_(hastily adds:)_ no offense against your daughter again, sir.

MR. GRIFFIN: And none _taken_ again, Darren. _(Hesitates:)_ You know, it's too _bad_ in a way--I kind of would've _liked_ to have have a nice young man such as yourself date my daughter--_(Darren, Jane, Quinn, and now even Daria shudder at that thought)_ you seemed to really _get_ to Sandi like no other fellow as I've said--making her seem--_nicer. (Smirks:)_ Are you _sure_ I can't _change_ your _mind_ about dating her some _more_?

DARREN: _(Wide-eyed, starts to back up slowly:)_ Uh, ah, that's _quite_ all right, Mr. Griffin--_(looks at watch:)_ boy, look at the _time_! Well, I've _got_ to go, sir! _(Turns around quickly, starts almost **running** to his car)_

MR. GRIFFIN: Wait, son, I was just kid--_(cuts himself off, sighs, thought v.o.: Well, **partially** kidding, anyway.) (Turns around, goes inside his house, shuts the door)_

Darren quickly came to his car, and took the keys from his pocket so _fast_, he _fumbled_ with them, and dropped them on the street. He sighed, and squatted down to pick them up. As he grabbed them and rose back up, he saw Daria, Quinn, and Jane come out to the car from behind the bushes. He smiled when he saw them, going over.

DARREN: _(Hugs Jane, relieved:) God_, am I glad to see you all! 

JANE: _(Smirks wickedly at him with her arms around his neck:)_ Likewise. _(Suddenly gives him a quick kiss on the lips, while Quinn rolls her eyes, disgusted, and Daria gives a quick smirk)_

DARREN: _(Recovers, smiles down at Jane:)_ I'm certainly not complaining, but what was _that_ for?

JANE: _(Ponders playfully for a moment:)_ Call it--the _"official"_ end of your _"date"_ with Sandi, only _I'm_ the one giving you the _"closure"_, and _not_ Sandi.

DARREN: _(Smiles:)_ Fine by me. _(Pauses:)_ Eh--about what _happened_ in front of the Griffins, when Sandi, ah, _"stumbled"_ into me--

JANE: _(Waves him off, dismissive:) Ahhh_--no sweat. I _wasn't_ worried in the _least_!

QUINN: _(Comes up with Daria:)_ Neither was _I_, bro--I _knew_ you wouldn't fall for Sandi's tricks! _(Daria gives both girls her **"Give me a break"** look)_

DARREN: _(Frowns slightly:)_ I see _you're_ here, Quinn--let me guess--Stacy and Tiffany let you _down_ in your _"hour of need"_, and you're so _angry_ with them, you decided to ride back here with Daria and Jane.

QUINN: _(Now sheepish:)_ Uh, yeah, you _could_ say that. _(Sighs, glances over at Daria, looks down:)_ Um, Darren, I'm--_sorry_ for comin' out there tonight an' almost _ruinin'_ my chance to stay in th' Fashion Club. It was--_stupid_ an' _dumb_ to do so, and I hope you can _forgive_ me. _(Suddenly brushes past a surprised Jane, and hugs Darren tightly:) Please_ don't _stay_ mad at me!

DARREN: _(Surprised, pats her lightly on the back while seeing Daria and Jane give **monumental** eye-rolls, sighs:) Okay_, Quinn--okay, you're _forgiven_! _(Holds her from him, looks down at her pointedly:)_ Just _promise_ me that you won't do something _foolish_ like that again, okay? _(Quinn eagerly nods)_

DARIA: _(Deadpan:) "Promises, promises"_. If _Dionne Warrick_ were _dead_, she'd be turning in her _grave_ by now--but since she's still _alive_, she's just _turning_--her _stomach_ would be anyway--just like _mine_ is right now. _(Quinn glares at Daria, while Jane smirks, and Darren tries not to laugh)_

DARREN: Now, now, Daria--_(looks back down to Quinn:)_ and I owe _you_ an apology, too--I'm sorry for _snapping_ at you like that on the dance floor. I just--_(pauses:)_ was _tired_, and I didn't want you and Sandi to go at it again. _(Gives a quick smile:)_ Can _you_ forgive _me_ for that?

QUINN: _(Giggles with that singy-songy sound, squeezes Darren, lays her head against his chest:)_ Of _course_ I can, silly!

DARIA: Well, now that we've had our share of sentimental _crap_, can we go _home_ now? It's getting _awfully_ damn late. _(Pauses:)_ Jane and I have some um--_"personal stuff"_ to do first thing tomorrow morning.

JANE: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ We _do_?

DARIA: _(Narrows her eyes slightly:) Yes_, Jane--we're going to look _into_ something tomorrow, _remember_?

JANE: _(Now remembers:)_ Oh _yeah_--tomorrow! _(Looks sheepishly between Darren and Daria:)_ I--guess--I won't, um, be able to have our now-customary jog tomorrow morning, Darren?

Darren and Quinn looked at each other, confused for a moment, then Darren spoke.

DARREN: Uh, _oookay_--I'll take a _raincheck_ on that then, Jane. Will you two need any er, _help_ with your, ah, _"personal stuff"_?

DARIA: Nope, bro, we'll be fine, but thanks for inquiring anyway. _(Quickly leaves, but grabs Quinn's arm:)_ Come on, _"sis"_, and let's get on home. We can't forget that our bro here is supposed to be out with _Jane_, and I've gotta _"smuggle"_ you home under mom and dad's _noses_ if they're not asleep already. We'll see you guys later. _(Leaves with Quinn to the SUV)_

Darren and Jane watched watched them get into the SUV and leave.

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ Why would Daria need to _"smuggle"_ Quinn home, Jane?

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ I'll explain while you're taking me home, Darren.

Darren opened the passenger-side door for Jane, and then got in on his side, and then drove off. Unknown to them, _Sandi_ had witnessed the scene (including seeing Daria and Quinn) from her street-facing dark bedroom. She narrowed her eyes for a moment, _deeply_ frowned, then changed into her nightgown, and got into bed.

_(Scene is the Morgendorffer's, a few minutes later)_

Daria drove the SUV into the driveway and turned off the headlights. Quinn became a _nervous wreak_ when she saw that the lights were _still_ on in the living room.

QUINN: _(Bites her lip:) Gaaawd_! Why do mom an' dad _still_ haveta be _up_? _(Narrows her eyes at Daria, warning stare:)_ You'd better keep _your_ end of the _bargain_, Daria--if they _catch_ me dressed like _this_, an' _not_ at Stacy's--

DARIA: _(Sighs:) --Relax_, sibling--I told you that I would get you in without them seeing you, and I will. _(Pauses:)_ I guess you weren't _really_ serious when you apologized to Darren for making a _fool_ out of yourself earlier this evening at that nightclub.

QUINN: _(After a moment:) Daaaaria_--I _was_ serious about apologizin' an' stuff, an' I know I did the _right_ thing 'cause Darren apologized to _me_ for _snappin'_ at me in front of Sandi. _(Looks down, grows quiet:)_ I guess that old sayin' about _"One good thing deserves another"_ is _true_.

DARIA: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Quinn, it's--_(sighs:)_ never mind. C'mon, let's get out. _(Gets out with Quinn, goes up to the door:)_ Now, I'm gonna go in first, but I'll leave the door unlocked and _barely_ open for you to sneak in after I _distract_ mom and dad. Keep an eye out, now. _(Unlocks door, goes in, while Quinn peeps through the crack in the door)_

Daria took a quick deep breath and walked into the living room, where she saw Helen doing some work, while Jake was nodding on the couch watching the TV. Both got up when they saw her. Instead of stopping, however, Daria _kept_ walking.

HELEN: _(Surprised tone:)_ Daria? Is something wrong, sweetie? Why aren't you _stopping_?

DARIA: _(Still walks:)_ Can't stop. Thirsty. Follow me into the kitchen, and I'll give you the _lowdown_ about the date. _(Helen and Jake look at each other for a second, and follow Daria into the kitchen, while Quinn takes the opportunity to slip in when they do so, and tiptoes upstairs to her room.)_

Daria went to the refrigerator to get a can of soda while Helen and Jake _eagerly_ sat down at the table to await hearing their daughter's account of something that both of them knew all too well happens _rarely_--their oldest daughter had gone on a _date_ with a boy. Daria opened the soda and leaned against the counter while drinking.

HELEN: All right, sweetie--your father and I are waiting--_how_ was your date?

JAKE: _(Frowns, jumps in:) Yeah_--and did the _punk_ put his _hands_ in places on you where they _shouldn't_ have been, Kiddo? _(Eyes turn red, dangerous tone:)_ Because if he _did_, I'll _destroy_ his--

HELEN: --JAKE!

JAKE: _(Smiles suddenly:)_ I'm _calm_, honey! How'd the date go, Kiddo?

DARIA: _(Shrugs, takes a sip of soda:)_ We went to a place _outside_ of Carter county. It was _dull--"Martin"_ and I just weren't _compatible_ with each other--he, um--just talked about his _computers_ and _web sites_ the whole date. I listened politely, occasionally adding my _"world-renowned"_ wit and humor in between, and that was that. I dropped him back off at his _"place"_, and then I came home.

HELEN: But sweetie, it's so _late_! You mean to tell us that's _all_ there was to the date, him talking about _computers_ and _web sites_ up until you took him home?

DARIA: _(Finishes her soda:)_ Yep--sorry. _(Faux yawn:)_ Boy, I'm _exausted_--these _"dates"_ really _wear_ a gal _out_--good thing I don't go on too _many_ of them. _(Starts to leave the kitchen:)_ Goodnight--

HELEN: _(Smiles:)_ Hold on, sweetie--your father and I have some _wonderful_ news we've received while you and Darren were out--

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ --Quinn's _moving out_? _(Helen rolls her eyes)_

JAKE: No, Kiddo! Your mom and I are gonna hit it _rich_ tomorrow! _(Helen glares a little at Jake, which he notices)_ Uh, I _hope_ we will, at least.

DARIA: You're gonna _rob_ a bank? A _relative_ died and left you some money? Quinn's _beauty tips_ actually are gonna become _crappy_ best sellers for a _idiot_ publisher who's decided to sign her to a long-term book contract?

HELEN: _(Shakes her head:)_ No, no, Daria! _(Sighs:)_ We'll tell you, Darren, and Quinn tomorrow. If it works out, you and Quinn will be able to go to college _without_ the financial _burdens_ of tuition to worry about--

DARIA: _(As she begins to walk out:)_ Funny--I thought _"financial burdens"_ were for the _parental units_ to worry about--we of the _offspring society_ just are supposed to concern ourselves with _bumming_ money off from the parental units while attending the aforementioned higher institute of learning. This is _quite_ a _new_ development, here--I'll have to _comtemplate_ this while I happily dream of _new_ ways to _torture_ Quinn. _(Leaves while Jake looks confused, and Helen rests her head in her hand on the table, sighs in an exasperated manner)_

Daria went upstairs, and was about to go in her padded room, when she saw Quinn quickly peek out from her own room, curious.

QUINN: Did mom and dad suspect anything, Daria?

DARIA: You're still _alive_, aren't you? Relax--you're safe and secure in your own little bedchamber now--_(adds:)_ of course, if Stacy or Tiffany suddenly _call_ you tonight to _beg_ for your _forgiveness_, and mom and dad happen to _answer_ the phone, then I'd consider making out a _last will and testament. (Smirks, goes into her room)_

Quinn suddenly gasped, turned _pale_, and slowly went back into her room, privately _terrified_.

Darren drove up to the Morgendorffers having dropped off Jane at her home. He got out of his car, and using the key Jake had gotten him, came into the living room. Darren gave a quick look around--there was no _shouting_, so he assumed that Quinn was successfully _"smuggled"_ in by Daria. Helen and Jake were coming out of the kitchen when they saw him.

HELEN: _(Smiles:)_ Oh, Darren--how was your date with _Jane_?

DARREN: _(Uneasy tone, shrugs:)_ Oh, uh, it was ah--_fine_, Helen, Jake--just your _standard_ date, nothing to write home about. We ate at a restaurant, went to the movies, and so-and-so. _(Pauses:)_ Er, I saw the SUV in the driveway when I came in, which I'm assuming means that Daria's here from _her_ date. Jane and I were _eager_ to know how it went.

HELEN: _(Sighs:)_ It was quite _dull_, son, according to Daria at least, and--

JAKE: --Boy, first _Daria_ has a _dull_ date with that _"Marty"_ fellow, and then you say you and Jane had a _"standard"_ date, son? _(Starts getting into rage mode, frowns, while Helen and Darren give each other uncomfortable looks:) Ohhhh_--when I was about your's and Daria's age, I knew how to have a _good_ time on _my_ dates! The _Old Man_ wanted me to stay under his _thumb_, but I _showed_ him! I _sneaked_ out at night, and went to the _drive-ins, dance halls_, and _all_ the _damn_ make-out points! _(Gets a deranged look, which spooks Darren a bit:)_ Ol' _"Mad Dog"_ couldn't stop me until he sent me to that _damn_ military school, and--

HELEN: _(Rolls her eyes:) --Enough_, Jake! _(Jake immediately does)_ Darren, your father and I have some _fantastic_ news we want to share with you and the girls tomorrow. When Quinn comes in then, we'll tell you. _(Gasps:)_ Oh, dear--I almost forgot to tell you that a _(looks up:) "Mr. Gerald"_ called concerning a _"G.W. about **Sanchez**". (Darren's eyes are now huge)_ He said you'd _know_ what the message is all about.

DARREN: _(Mouth agape, walks up to Helen and puts his hands on her shoulders, excited:)_ About _"Sanchez"_? _(Looks down at her pointedly:)_ Are you _sure_?

HELEN: Why, yes, son, I'm sure, but what--

DARREN: _(Now begins to rush up the stairs:)_ --I'll tell you two _later_! I _promise_! _(Goes up and out of sight while Helen and Jake look at each other, confused)_

Darren rushed into his room and grabbed his cell phone, only pausing long enough to take out the business card that Woo had given him while Darren had visited Woo's office earlier this month. Darren guessed that Woo _wasn't_ at work since it was so late here (and on the West coast as well), so Darren was going to try Woo's _home_ number first, then if Woo wasn't there, then his _pager_ number. _Finally, a break. Perhaps the nightmare of living the **lie** would be over_. He glanced at the card long enough to ascertain what numbers he'd need to call, then punched the numbers.

In his apartment, a _rumpled_-dressed Gerald Woo leaned against the wall in his living room, staring out of the window at the distant nighttime skyline of Los Angeles depressed through a _drunken_ stupor, thanks to a bottle of _Chablis_ white wine that was sitting on the floor beside him, and with _good_ reason, at least to him. He had let _down_ his client, and was made to look like a _fool_ in the process. One of the _oldest_ tricks in the book, and he _fell_ for it. _What an **fool** you are, Woo. Maybe you should just **advertise** your **stupidity** to every potential client in the city and to the whole damn world. You were **used**, you **moron**, the very thing that you're supposed to **avoid**, and you walked right **into** it._

Woo poured another glass of the wine, and was about to take another drink, when the cell phone on his sofa rang. Woo _stared_ at the phone for a _long_ moment. He _knew_ for some reason it _had_ to be his client _Darren Appleton_, a client who was expecting to hear some _good_ news about Sanchez. Woo _dreaded_ answering the phone, but he knew he _had_ to. He had to tell his client the _truth_. He sighed heavily for a second, _staggered_ over to the sofa, then gripped the phone tightly, and clicked it on following the _sixth_ ring. He _clenched_ his teeth when he heard Darren's _excited_ voice.

DARREN: Woo? _Hey_! For a moment there, I thought you _weren't_ home! You left me a message about _Sanchez_! Please tell me you have _good_ news!

WOO: _(Gathers up his wits, speaks in a bit of a **slurred** tone of voice:)_ Uhh, Daarren? II--have ssoome _bad_ news--

DARREN: _(In a dreaded tone:) --Oh, no_--Woo, what _happened_? _(Pauses:)_ Say, you don't _sound_ right--is something wrong--_(now in a very stunned low voice:)_ have you--have you been _drinking_?

WOO: _(Frowns:)_ Neeever _mind_ that, Daaaren! II juust have to tell you II've _failed_ you! SSanchez iss _dead_!

There was a _very_ long silence on the other end.

DARREN: _(In a low voice:)_ Woo, what did you say? S-Sanchez is _dead_?

WOO: Yeess, Daaarren--I _failed_ you. II waas _trrricked_. My offfice was _bbuuuged_.

DARREN: Your office was _bugged_, Woo? Do you have _any_ idea _who_ did it or who could've murdered Sanchez?

WOO: _(Tries to stay coherent:)_ Nnnoo, weee don't, Daaarren--II'm _sssorry_. III must loook like a d-d-damn _foool_ to yooou. II d-did my b-best, annd I acc--acce--_take_ full resp--respon--reshib--_blame_. Ifff yoooou want to _f-f-fire_ me, III'll _understand_. T-the _p-pooolice_ are i-inveestigating now.

There was _another_ very long silence on the other end.

DARREN: _(Sighs:)_ Woo--look, uh--maybe you should _sleep_ this off, and maybe you can, ah, call sometime _tomorrow. (Pauses:)_ I don't know if hearing this will do any good, especially in your--ah, _condition_, but, you--you did your _best_, and you can't _blame_ yourself--

WOO: _(Cuts him off:)_ --Ooooh, yes III _can_, Daaaarren! III _s-s-screwed_ it up! III waas an iji--idi--_idiot_!

DARREN: _(In a very quiet voice:)_ Uh, goodnight, Woo. _(Hangs up)_

WOO: Waaaait! Dooon't you shang--hang up ooon me, Daaarrren--_(gets quiet himself:)_ dooon't--hang--up. _Damn. (Pauses for a moment, then **drops** the phone on the floor, and plops down on the sofa, leans back, and deeply sighs, stares at the ceiling, then suddenly **passes out**.)_

Darren sat down on his bed, shocked beyond words. Sanchez was--_dead_? Woo had apparently been--_drinking_ out of _guilt_ that he could not stop it? What in the _world_ was going on? He looked down at the floor for a moment, feeling _completely_ at a _loss. Who_ could he turn to now? As far as he could tell, Woo said that the _police_ were on the case now. What would that _mean_? Darren couldn't be sure if he could trust _anyone_ outside of the Morgendorffers, Jane, Curtis, his aunt Millie, Elenor, or Claude--even his _uncle Will_--certainly he couldn't _drag_ any of them into this--everything had been riding on Sanchez being captured--_now, however_... perhaps he _should_ call the police and tell what _he_ knew, since they knew about Sanchez? It would expose _risking_ attention, or at the least, provide _protection_ for Jane, his birth family, and friends, after he talked to the police, and told them his story. If whoever killed Sanchez came after _him, fine_. Just as long as they wouldn't go after the _others--_

His cell phone rung on its own, and Darren wondered for a moment whether Woo was calling him _back_ to try and _explain_ what had happened--he _hoped_ not--as far as Darren could tell, Woo was _out_ of it. Darren turned on the phone.

DARREN: Hello?

VOICE: Ah, hello, nephew. I didn't mean to _wake_ you.

DARREN: _(Cocks eyebrow in surprise:) Uncle Will_? You're the _last_ person I would expect to call here! No, you didn't wake me--I just got back from a--_"date"_. I was going to call you about the NTSB's report from this week concerning the crash--

WILLIAM: _(Cuts him off:)_ --Good, very good--uh, I don't know how I can break this _news_ to you, Darren, it's _strange_, but since you were going to tell me about the crash, there's something I _have_ to tell you--_(faux dramatic pause:)_ it--_wasn't_ an accident.

DARREN: _(Stunned, narrows eyes:) How_--how did _you_ know it _wasn't_ an accident, Uncle Will?

WILLIAM: Why, the _police_ told me when they _called_ me earlier tonight, my boy. They said that the _killer_ of your--_parents_ was _murdered_. They added something about a _sabataged_ fuel line. _(Pauses, faux surprise:) Hold it_--how did _you_ know it wasn't an accident, Darren? Did the police call _you_, too?

DARREN: _(A little sheepish:)_ Uh, _not_ exactly, Uncle Will. _(Sighs:)_ Well, since the police told you what happened, I'll fill you in on what _I_ know--

Darren told William of retaining _Woo_, and of _everything_ Woo told him.

WILLIAM: _(Faux disbelief:)_ I can't--I can't _believe_ this! The police didn't tell me Woo told _them_ that he found out what was going on! _(Faux gasp:)_ Why, I was under the _impression_ that _they_ told me! This is _incredible_! _(Pauses:)_ What about _Woo_? He _failed_ you--did you _fire_ him for _allowing_ this _bastard_ Sanchez to die?

DARREN: _(Hesitates, decides not to say anything about Woo's drinking:)_ Uncle Will, er--can we discuss something _else_? I--don't want to _talk_ about Woo anymore tonight, you know--?

WILLIAM: Of course, nephew, of course--and who could _blame_ you? _(Pauses, becomes angry:)_ Well, I know he'll _never_ work for us again--and when I'm _finished_, never for anyone _else_, either!

DARREN: I--_guess_, Uncle. _(Realizes:)_ W-what about _aunt Millie_? She doesn't know about--

WILLIAM: _(Cuts him off gently:)_ --Calm down, Darren--_I'll_ tell her the--_horribly tragic_ news. _(Pauses:)_ What are _you_ going to do now, my boy?

DARREN: I-I'm going to _tell_ the Morgendorffers who I am _tomorrow_, Uncle Will--I can't _stand_ to do this anymore--that and the fact that I can't put them in _danger_--

WILLIAM: _(Slightly alarmed, but goes into "control" mode:)_ --Uh, Darren, don't _misunderstand_ me, but I'd like to ask you to _hold off_ telling them until at least _Monday_ morning.

DARREN: _(Frowns:) What_, Uncle Will? _Why_? I might as well--

WILLIAM: --Darren, please _listen_ to me. I'd like to inform your aunt, the Board, and the stockholders _first_ before you tell the Morgendorffers--I asked the police to _wait_ until then, and they agreed as well. We have to _prepare_ them all for the incredible _onslaught_ of _attention_ this is going to bring, not to mention how this is going to affect our company's standing on the _world markets_. I'm not trying to sound _cold_ here, Darren, but we all have to stand _together_ on this--this--_unbelievable_ situation. All I ask is for _two_ more days, and everything will--_come_ in place. _(Pauses:)_ Will you _please_ let me have that time, my boy?

DARREN: _(After a long moment:)_ I--I _guess_ so, Uncle--but I'm worried about my birth family and girlfriend. What if--what if whoever killed Sanchez tries to come after _me_, and goes after _them_ to get to me, instead?

WILLIAM: _(Faux surprised tone:)_ Oh, you have a _girlfriend_, too, eh? Excellent, Darren--I'd like to _meet_ her!

DARREN: _(Gives a slightly exasperated sigh:)_ Perhaps later, Uncle, but what about her and my birth family?

WILLIAM: Hmmm--yes, I see your _dilemma--(pauses:)_ have you seen anyone or anything _suspicious_ going on while you've been in this _"Lawndale"_ place, Darren?

DARREN: _(With a **wretched** look on his face:)_ N-no, none that I've noticed--

WILLIAM: --And _no_ one outside of _me_, your aunt Millie, Curtis, Elenor, and Claude know where you are, correct?

DARREN: Y-yes, Uncle Will--what are you _getting_ at?

WILLIAM: What makes you think that whoever killed Sanchez knows _where_ you are, then?

DARREN: I-I'm not sure--_(narrows his eyes:)_ but what if someone goes after one of _them_, and tries to _kidnap_ them to find out where I am, Uncle Will? For that matter, what about aunt Millie, Curtis, _you_, and the others?

WILLIAM: In the case of your _aunt_, Darren--remember, she has a _security_ detail with her while she's in Europe. As for Elenor, and Claude, they're _safe_ at the mansion with the security there, and I _personally_ can _vouch_ for _each_ and _every_ of the people who work there around the clock, so our staff is _secured_ in place--despite what _Woo_ said about _trusting_ them. Now, as for _Curtis_, I could _order_ some people to _protect_ him and his family with their _permission, (adds with doubt:)_ though I'm _still_ not convinced if anyone would _really_ do something, especially after I've heard that the media's been after _him_ trying to find out where you are. Someone would have to be a _fool_ to pursue a person who's currently in the _spotlight_, and draw _attention_ to themselves.

DARREN: _(Ponders:)_ You're _right_, Uncle--you know, in an _ironic_ way, Curtis is actually _safer_ being in the _"spotlight"_ as you've said, so I guess I don't have to worry about _him_, either.

WILLIAM: _Exactly_--and as for _myself_, I'm certainly _not_ going to _move_ without having some people _around_ me. To be _honest_ with you, Darren, I'd wager to say that _everyone_ is safe, including _yourself_, and your birth family, and girlfriend. _(Adds:)_ I mean even if they _did_ know where you were, and came to this _"Lawndale"_, you'd be the _only_ one they'd go after--they wouldn't see your birth family and girlfriend as _important_--no offense.

DARREN: _(Smirks:)_ None taken, Uncle. Better _me_ than them if they did. I--suppose you have a _point. (Sighs:) Okay_, Uncle--I'll--I'll wait until _Monday--(frowns:)_ but _not_ beyond that, I don't care _what_ you say, _got_ that?

WILLIAM: _(After a pause, in a very low, slightly **dark** tone:)_ Oh, I've _"got"_ that, Darren. _(Lightens tone:)_ Don't fret, my boy--in fact, I think that things will _brighten up_ soon, I _really_ do.

DARREN: I wish I could _share_ in your _optimism_, Uncle Will--_(looks at alarm clock, eyebrow cocked:) whoa_--it's almost _1:30 a.m. (Pauses:)_ If there's nothing _else_, Uncle Will, I'm really _bushed--_

WILLIAM: --Nothing that I can _think_ of, Darren--and, well--try to get some _sleep_, all right? I'll start _contacting_ your aunt, the stockholders, and the Board first thing in the morning, and I'll call you--_(pauses:) Sunday_ morning to see how you're doing.

DARREN: All right, Uncle Will--goodnight.

WILLIAM: Goodnight, nephew. _(Hangs up)_

Darren clicked off his phone, turned off his bedside lamp, then laid down on his bed, looking at the _ceiling_. He wondered briefly if anyone _else_ in his birth family did such a thing while deep in thought for some reason, then _tenatively_ closed his eyes, thinking about Monday when he would tell his birth family and Jane who he really was.

William smirked _wickedly_ as he turned off his phone, and laid back in his bed, smugly.

WILLIAM: _(Thought v.o.: Enjoy your **last full day on earth** tomorrow, Darren, my dear "nephew".) (Closes his eyes)_

The morning sun had shown through the curtains of Darren's room. Darren opened his eyes wearily and looked at his alarm clock, and became _wide-eyed_. The time was _10:30 a.m._--Darren almost _berated_ himself for forgetting to turn the alarm clock on, then sighed--it was just as well--he did _not_ sleep too well last night, and he figured he needed the extra time anyway. He had slept through _most_ of the morning, and _missed_ his daily jog--it would be too _warm_ to start now. He remembered that Jane wouldn't be able to go with him, anyway, with this _"personal stuff"_ she had to do with his sister, Daria. Darren briefly wondered _what_ it was--a _birthday_? His wasn't for another _two_ months (just before he went back to Eastward), and he didn't _recall_ telling anyone, save his _grandmothers_, though he certainly didn't _need_ anything. Maybe it was _Quinn's_ birthday? It wasn't that far around the corner. He _chuckled_ at that thought--_Jane_ would _never_ go that far to do something for Quinn as to get up in the _morning_ to find a birthday gift for Quinn--_Daria_ wouldn't either, for that matter. Perhaps it was for _Helen_ or _Jake_--? Whatever the case, he decided to put on the _backburner_ for the moment, getting out of bed, and stretching, then getting some clothes out of his bag, and preparing for the upcoming day.

Darren was going to the bathroom to change out his housecoat and pajamas, when he ran into _Helen_, who was coming upstairs, fully dressed in her casual clothing.

HELEN: _(Grins:)_ Good morning, son--how was your sleep? I thought about _waking_ you, but you came in so _late_ last night, I decided to let you sleep in.

DARREN: _(Smiles quietly:)_ I--appreciate that, and it was--_fitful_, Helen. _(Looks around:)_ Is everyone _up_, yet?

HELEN: You just missed Daria by about _30_ minutes, Darren--she wanted to get out and get to Jane's for some reason--said she wanted to get some _"personal stuff"_ done. Jake's out with a _client_, and took him for a _golf_ match--he wanted to take _you_, but after I--_(frowns slightly:) "spoke"_ to him, he thought the _better_ of it, and left. _(Darren cocks an eyebrow at the way Helen said "spoke")_ Ooooh, and _Quinn_ came in _early_ this morning--she _told_ me so when I came into her room to put away some of her clean clothes, and _found_ her in her bed. _(Darren shows a very tiny smirk)_ She said she couldn't sleep too well at Stacy's, so she left there, and came back to catch a few hours _more_ of sleep. _(Shrugs:)_ Oh well--

DARREN: _(Thought v.o.: Quinn thinks **quick** on her feet, er--I mean, on her **back** when she wants to, I'll give her that.)_ Ah, yes--well, I hope Quinn had a--_good_ time with her friends last night.

HELEN: I'm _sure_ she did, son. _(Realizes:) Oh_, I almost _forgot_! _(Begins to grin:)_ Last night, your father and I had an _incredible_ financial opportunity _drop_ into our laps. _(Pauses:)_ Jake and I've already told _Daria_ about it, and I'll tell Quinn after she gets up. Darren, I'd like to tell you during breakfast, if that's okay--

DARREN: _(Smiles, shrugs:)_ --Sure, I'd like that--let me take a shower, change, and we can then talk. _(Prepares to go into bathroom)_

HELEN: Oh, Darren--I meant to ask--did everything work out with this _"Sanchez"_ fellow? You seemed so _excited_ about him for some reason--

DARREN: _(Downcast look, sighs, in a low tone:)_ Sorry, Helen--it--didn't work out, I'm afraid--excuse me. _(Goes into bathroom, while Helen watches after him sadly)_

_(Scene changes to the Lawndale library, the same time)_

Daria and a _very_ tired-looking Jane sat at a table in the reference section, surrounded by a large amount of microfilm and old newspaper articles. Daria was intently looking over the articles, while Jane was _barely_ holding up her head, nodding. Daria arched an eyebrow at Jane's situation, then spoke in a low voice.

DARIA: Jane? _(Smirks:)_ Wake up--I know you're having a _difficult_ time in being here, but I need you to help me in finding out whether or not my bro and your boyfriend is who he _says_ he is. Don't _die_ on me now--_(pauses, adds:)_ at least not until we _find_ something.

JANE: _(Yawns:)_ Sorry--of course, you didn't give me _enough_ time to get my _customary_ cup of coffee this morning, so it's _partially_ your fault, amiga.

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ So _noted_, but I wanted to start as early as possible, and get this out of the way--besides, I could've woken you even _earlier_, so you shouldn't _complain. (Points near the front:)_ You obviously haven't been here for a _while_, or you'd know about the _coffee shop_ that was put in at the same time that they'd installed the _new_ roof several months ago--the local politicians said they wanted to add a little _"spice"_ to our library--too bad they _forgot_ to add more _books_.

_(Note to reader: The library where I live has a coffee shop in it--I'm doing the same thing with the library in Lawndale, too.)_

JANE: _(Sits up, looks wearily where Daria pointed:)_ Really? I _missed_ that? Damn! _(Gets up:)_ I'll be right back. _(Leaves)_

Daria looked at all the information she had concerning the Appleton family, which stretched back almost _150 years_ in wealth, from a profitable _shipping_ trade. There was the story of how Arthur Appleton Sr., an aspiring techno-geek, had _inherited_ most of the wealth from his father, industrialist _Richard Appleton_ (the rest to his brother and sister), and proceeded to create a _computer_ business, that, while not having the same _growth_ as say, _Microsoft_, nevertheless, grew quite _large_, and began to diversify along the way into other business interests, such as energy, fashion (headed by Arthur Sr.'s wife Lucille), food, and the media. Along the way, Arthur's younger brother, _William Appleton_, had helped Arthur Sr. _orchestrate_ many of the acquisitions throughout the years. Though there had been several takeover attempts of Appleton _itself_ over the years, Appleton had just been _large_ enough to _thwart_ any such threats.

Daria examined the _pictures_ of the Appletons, but there were _none_ of their son, _Arthur Jr._, save for some _baby_ ones. Jane can back with a large cup of cappuccino coffee, sitting down at the table, looking a little more alert. Daria glanced at Jane, privately _amazed_ that her friend could _"perk up"_ so fast after a cup of coffee.

JANE: So, what did you find, amiga--anything to go on, yet? _(Sips her cappuccino)_

DARIA: _(Looks down, shuffles articles:)_ Nope, just some baby pics of the Appleton's son--I certainly can't tell from those if he's my bro. I've heard that his parents were _very_ protective of their son, but this is _incredible_. You'd think in this _modern_ media age, that _someone_ would've taken his picture recently. _(Pauses:)_ I can't even find any _clear_ ones of Arthur Jr. at his parent's _funeral_--just some _fuzzy_ ones, or pics that have someone in the _way_.

JANE: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ Hm--that _is_ mind-boggling. _(Smirks:)_ My boyfriend might be a master _magician_, or something.

DARIA: _(Not looking up:)_ Or _something. Princess Diana_ might've _lived_ if she took some _lessons_ from the Appletons concerning privacy. _(Pauses:) Hello_.

JANE: _(Smirks:) Howdy. (Daria turns her mouth down momentarily at Jane's attempt at humor, while Jane leans over to her, looks at the article:)_ Got something?

DARIA: _Oh yeah_. One article here from his parent's funeral lists Arthur Jr.'s _middle_ name as _"Darren"_--

JANE: _(Ponders, shrugs:) --So_? Darren's a _fairly_ common name.

DARIA: Wait, I'm _not_ finished--his parent's _middle_ names were _Walter_ and _Grace--(Jane's eyebrows raise up)_, the _same_ names he told us that his adopted parents were called. It also says that his dad was head of the _technology_ division--Darren told us the first night he was there, that his dad worked on _computers_, and created programs for them, what the article here _says_. His mom was head of the _fashion_ division, and get this--she was also the head _fashion designer_, what Darren told Quinn _his_ mom did. Also, it says Arthur Jr. is attending _Eastward College_, and here's the _kicker--(dramatic pause:)_ the article says that, quote, _"Arthur Appleton Jr. was still trying to recover from the death of his girlfriend, Stephanie Reardon, from a sudden cerebral hemorrhage."_ Now, unless there's _more_ than one _"Stephanie Reardon"_, and that _she_ had a cerebral hemorrhage, _too_, we've got _enough_ info here to ask my bro and your boyfriend what's up with the _ruse_.

There was an _inordinately_ long pause between the two young women as they simply _stared_ at each other.

JANE: _(Hesitates:) Ooookay_--so, do we _show_ Darren the _"evidence"_ we have now, or what?

Daria's face slowly frowned in deep thought for a long minute. Jane watched her intently, occasionally sipping the cappuccino. Daria then pointedly looked at Jane, and spoke.

DARIA _(Sighs, shakes her head slowly:) No_, Jane--I just--I just _can't_ do it. _(Jane sighs, privately relieved)_ He _was_ telling the truth about what he's been through these past two months, _especially_ his late fiancee's death, thank goodness, and going to Eastward--just not _completely_--as if he was _wanting_ to tell us the truth, but has just stopped _short_ of doing so for some reason. Whatever my bro's _up_ to, I think I've--_we've_ known him _long_ enough to _trust_ him. _(Pauses:)_ You know, he might be pretending to be someone else to get away from the _intense media attention_, and could tell us who he really is just before he goes back to Eastward.

JANE: _(Nods her head:)_ Yeah, that's possible, Daria--of course, it's a little _ironic_--Darren gets a _hell_ of a lot of attention from the _opposite_ sex when he goes _out_--

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ --Much to your _chagrin. (Jane snorts, rolls her eyes)_ So, I guess we should _wait_, then.

JANE: _Agreed_, amiga. _(Adds:)_ Um, I told you I didn't _care_ about the _money_ that he has, and I _don't_, really, but I'm just kinda _curious_--does that article say _how_ much he's _worth_?

DARIA: Nope--but it says the Appleton _conglomerate's_ estimated worth is about _$70 billion (Jane's eyes almost pop out her head, and her mouth drops)_, so suffice it to say that my bro's probably _loaded_, and _then_ some. _(Starts to gather what's lying on the table:)_ Help me put this all back, will you, Jane? _(Looks up at Jane:)_ Um, _Jane_?

Jane was still in _stun_ mode, having kept the _same_ look on her face, and looking foreward in space, as if _mesmerized_. Daria waved her hand in front of Jane's face, and sighed.

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: I can see it now--**"My name is Darren Appleton, gazillionaire--I own a mansion and a yacht. Again. My name is Darren Appleton, gazillionaire--I own a mansion and a yacht. Again"** I can only **imagine** what **Quinn's** gonna do when she finds out--she'll probably **buy out** Cashman's and the whole damn mall, and **all** of Lawndale, just for good measure)_

_(Note to reader: Daria's little quip here comes from the 1955 Warner Brothers Bugs Bunny/Elmer J. Fudd cartoon **"Hare Brush"**, in which Bugs thinks he's Elmer and vice-versa, thanks to a psychologist and hypnosis!)_

_(Scene changes to Gerald Woo's apartment, the same time)_

The constant _pounding_ of the door continued until a worn-looking Gerald Woo finally woke out of his slumber on the sofa. Of course, it did not help that the noise _coincided_ with the constant pounding of the throbbing pain in his _head_. He wearily got up off the sofa, holding his head, and staggered to the door, pausing only just enough to look through the peephole to see David and Leroy in the hallway. He unlocked and opened his door.

WOO: _(In a tired tone:)_ Gentlemen, good morning.

LEROY: _(Cocks an eyebrow:)_ Well, _good morning_, Woo--it's about _time_ you let us in! For a second there, we thought you _weren't_ here! Didn't you remember you wanted us to meet you down at the _office_ this morning? David and I were _tempted_ to call _Carla_ and get her to let us in your apartment!

DAVID: We tried _paging_ you, and calling, but the operator said your phone was _out of order. (Smirks:)_ You _forgot_ to pay the _bill_, Woo?

WOO: _(Glares:) Not_ funny, David. _(Turns around, while the others come into the apartment behind him, picks up the cell phone off the floor, and clicks it off:) This_ was why the operator thought my phone was out of order. _(Plops down on the couch, rubs his throbbing head)_

David and Leroy suddenly looked around, then at each other, and stared at Woo for a moment. Woo frowned up at them for an instant, perplexed.

WOO: Is something _wrong_, you two?

DAVID: Well, uh--_(motions head at the empty wine bottle on the floor:) that_.

Woo followed David's look, then sighed.

WOO: _Yes_, I was--_drinking_ last night. I was--_depressed_.

LEROY: Aw, Woo--man, we told you yesterday--

WOO: _(Gets up, cuts Leroy off, frowns:)_ --You told me yesterday that I did _nothing_ wrong, and I couldn't have known about the bugging, but I also remembered that I said there was _no_ excuse for me not suspecting something, and there _wasn't_! _(Grabs sides of his head, winces:) Uhhhgh_!

DAVID: _(Rolls his eyes:) Okay_--so you've just found out that you're not _perfect_ like every other P.I. in this city, Woo--_(Woo narrows his eyes at David)_ but _get over it_! Darren Appleton still _needs_ you! _(Woo looks away for a moment, ponders)_ You can't just sit here feeling _sorry_ for yourself, while whoever killed Sanchez is still _out_ there, and may now go after Darren Appleton!

LEROY: David's _right_, Woo--you've gotta shake this _off_.

Woo sat back on his sofa, and sighed, deep in thought. He then clenched his teeth, and got a _determined_ look on his face, looking up at David and Leroy.

WOO: You're--you're _right_, the both of you. What in the _hell_ was I thinking? I can't let Darren Appleton down now, and--

Woo's eyes suddenly went wide in realization, and he turned _pale_.

DAVID: Er--what's _wrong_, Woo?

WOO: --_oh no_--I just remembered something--I was _drunk_ when I talked to _Darren_ last night! He called to ask about _Sanchez_! _Damn_! What he must _think_ of me right now! _(Reaches for cell phone, clicks it on, punches buttons)_

At the Morgendorffer's, a-trying-to-look-interested Darren was downstairs listening to an very _animated_ Helen (no pun intended) talking about her and Jake's _"good fortune"_ over a late breakfast of _waffles_ and bacon (fixed by Darren) in the kitchen. He did _not_ hear his cell phone ringing upstairs in his room (partly because of Helen's excited voice describing what the "good fortune" was). The cell phone ran about _ten_ times before it stopped.

Woo clicked off his cell phone, and sighed, looking down in a _defeated_ daze.

WOO: Well, I can't reach him--either he's not there at the moment, or--_(in a very low, resigned tone of voice:)_ he's _choosing_ not to talk to me because of what happened last night.

DAVID: _(Tries to sound reassuring:) C'mon_, Woo--Darren's probably just not there right now--it _is_ Saturday, you know. From what you told us, he's a pretty _understanding_ client. I find it _hard_ to believe that he'd not want to talk to you today.

LEROY: _(Ditto:)_ Gotta go with David here, Woo--you can call him _later_.

WOO: _(After a moment:)_ I--suppose. _(Thinks, then begins to punch some more numbers on his cell phone)_

DAVID: Who are you calling now, Woo?

WOO: Just checking out my _"small hunch"_ I told you two about yesterday. _(Pauses:)_ Hello? Is this _Appleton Industries_? My name is _Payne Wouger_, and I'd like to arrange an _appointment_ with a _Mr. William Appleton_ about a--_lucrative business merger_. Do you know if he'll be _in_ today? I know that he comes in almost _all_ the time on Saturdays, and--_(pauses:)_ ah, I see--and you said he won't be in until _Monday_? _(Pauses:)_ Something _suddenly_ came up, eh? Do you know _where--(pauses:)_ you _don't_ know? _(Smirks:)_ That's _never_ happened since you can _remember_, eh? Oh well--maybe I'll just meet him _later_, then--thank you. _(Clicks off phone:)_ Now, I find _this_ interesting.

LEROY: Judging from the _bits_ and _pieces_ we picked up, William Appleton's not going to be at work today, and that he's _never_ decided to do something like that at the _last_ moment before.

WOO: _(Narrows his eyes:) Exactly_--and this the day _after_ Sanchez, the one _obstacle_ that could have _fingered_ who had hired him to sabotage the Appleton's plane, had been murdered.

DAVID: Well, what does that _mean_, Woo? William Appleton might've just wanted a day _off_ today--it could've been just a _coincidence_. You _still_ think he had something to do with Sanchez's murder?

WOO: My gut instinct _screams_ to me that William Appleton had something to do with this, David. After I told _Lt. Keller_ what I found, I _assumed_ he called _William Appleton_--Appleton being the _chairman_ and all--and told him what had happened. It's possible Appleton had _left_ town to plan what to do about Darren Appleton next, since Darren's the _lone_ obstacle left, with Leonard Potter and Constance Waters now transferred _"safely"_ out of the way, and Sanchez dead.

LEROY: If you really think William Appleton's going to try something, Woo--it seems kind of _foolish_ to do it so _soon_ after Sanchez's death --wouldn't the police suspect _something_ if _Darren Appleton_ suddenly turned up _dead_?

WOO: _How_ would they _connect_ it to William Appleton, Leroy? They didn't with _Sanchez_, did they?

DAVID: He's--got a _point_, Leroy--out of _habit_, I called my _source_ that hangs around the station, and he _confirmed_ to me last night that Lt. Keller _had_ informed William Appleton that he _wasn't_ a suspect because Darren Appleton _chose_ him to head the conglomerate, just as we _suspected. (Woo nods his head slowly in agreement)_ Not only that, but my source also overheard that William Appleton got Lt. Keller and his superiors to _agree_ to wait until _Monday_ before announcing what actually happened with Sanchez, so William Appleton could contact the Board and shareholders, and his sister and nephew _Darren_. (Woo arches a very high eyebrow at that) As far as the _media_ is concerned, it's just a _random_ murder, possibly _drug-related_. The _crap's_ gonna hit the _fan_ when the public finds out the _real_ reason why Sanchez died.

WOO: Hmmm--William Appleton possibly contacted _Darren_ about what the police said to William about Sanchez? _Why_ would he do that?

LEROY: To throw _off_ any possible suspicion, or, well--_(hesitates:)_ maybe William Appleton might really _not_ be involved? I mean, the man had just been told his brother and sister-in-law had been _murdered_--he could've needed some time to _recover_?

WOO: _(After a moment:) No_, Leroy--_again_, for some reason, I'm _convinced_ William Appleton _is_ involved in this. I wished I could've gotten in touch with Darren, and found out if his uncle had called him yet.

DAVID: Well, like Leroy said, maybe you can call him _later_, Woo.

WOO: _(Gets up:)_ Perhaps, but I have a _better_ idea at the moment, gentleman--I can talk _directly_ to Darren _face-to-face_. We're _going_ to Lawndale _today. (David and Leroy look at each other, surprised)_ I'll be _damned_ if we're out of place if someone tries to come after Darren Appleton--I won't _fail_ him again. I suspect that you both believe we should call the _police_ and tell them what we _think_ could happen, but if William Appleton or someone else finds out that there's a _sudden_ large police and F.B.I. presence in Lawndale, he wouldn't _dare_ come within a _hundred_ miles of the place.

LEROY: Uh, Woo, there were _two_ plainclothes cops that _followed_ us here, just as we saw one plainclothes cop watching _your_ apartment as we came up. _How_ will we get _by_ them?

WOO: _(Smirks:)_ Leave them to me. I'm calling _Carla_--the police will _not_ be watching her like us--to them, she's a _"lowly"_ secretary. I'm going to get her to swing by the _airport_ and get some _tickets_ for us on the flight to a city near Lawndale, then we can drive to there, and keep an _eye_ out on Darren. As for getting by the police--_(grins:)_ how would you fellows like to go to a _baseball_ game? The _Dodgers_ are playing today.

DAVID: _(Smirks:)_ Ah, _that_ old trick, Woo?

LEROY: _(Ditto:)_ I have to admit, it works _every_ time.

WOO: Then it's settled--_"Operation Copdumpers"_ is set in motion--I'll call Carla, and then you guys can swing by your places and get some clothes, and _leave_ it in your apartments for _Carla_ to pick up _after_ she gets the tickets--

DAVID: --While _we_ go the ball game and _lose_ the cops who are following us in the _crowd_--

LEROY: --And we can _double back_ to the airport and go to Lawndale.

WOO: _(Punches the cell phone's numbers:)_ Excellent--we'll meet at _Dodger Stadium_ in an hour. Take off. _(Leroy and David leave)_ Hello, Carla? _(Pauses, grins:)_ Yes, I _know_ this is your day _off_, but this is an _absolute_ emergency--

_(Scene changes back to the Morgendorffer's, 10 minutes later)_

Darren was considering all of what Helen had told him about her and Jake's _"good fortune"_ while watching TV in the living room. Helen had left for awhile to to do a few hours of extra weekend work at the firm. (Helen also had given Quinn the details when Quinn had gotten up--Quinn began to _whine_ about wanting to stay at home, but _perked up_ when Helen said they'd go out to _Chez Pierre_ after seeing the _"product"_ Mr. Smith planned to show them.) It certainly was an _incredible_ offer--_$25,000_ even if they turned it down. Darren remembered some of the deals _his_ parents had worked out over the years--of course they were a _bit_ more--_hundred_ million to _billion_ dollar ones. He smiled quietly to himself, happy over Helen and Jake's news, and of the memories of _his_ parent's _remarkable_ business acumen.

Still, there were a few things that _nagged_ a bit at him--this _"Smith"_ character was quite _secretive_--granted he wanted to protect his _"product"_ from being _spied_ upon by a possible competitor, something Darren understood _perfectly_ well in business, but did he have to want to meet Darren's birth family in such a _"desolate"_ place (at least that's what _Helen_ had told him when he had inquired as to where) at some nearly-abandoned warehouses near Lawndale's waterfront? Darren hoped it would _not_ be in one of the buildings, but _outside_ of it--there was a possibility of an _accident_ if the _floorboards_ gave out, or something--were they _condemned_?

What about the _"Smith"_ name? _Common_ enough--perhaps a bit _too_ common? He shook his head quickly at that thought. _You're becoming paranoid, Darren--uncle Will's right--who knows you're here other than your friends and family? You haven't seen anything **strange** happen around the town, save for some of the **people** that live here. You only have to wait until Monday for all of this to be out, so **relax**._

Suddenly, a _Sick, Sad World_ episode appeared on the TV, and Darren started to _grin_ in anticipation for the _funny_ story--he wondered where Daria and Jane were, for they were missing this. He did not notice that both girls were coming into the living room.

TV ANNOUNCER: _(While theme music is playing, showing some birds sitting around a table in a dark room:)_ Do birds _really_ get together to _scheme_ when to put their _droppings_ on just-washed cars? The _"Bird Conspiracy"_, next, on _Sick, Sad World_!

Darren was _laughing_ at the TV when he caught a glimpse of Daria and Jane, and got up to greet them. Daria gave a quick glance at Jane, which basically said, _"Remember, say nothing"_. Jane gave her a knowing glance back.

DARIA: Hey, bro--uh, Jane and I caught the last part of that--the _"Bird Conspiracy"_ ep--

JANE: _(Goes over to hug Darren:)_ --Yeah, that was the one where certain birds are supposed to be rumored to _extort_ bird seed from _city municipalities_ in return for not _messing up_ their citizen's cars. It's a classic. (Sits down beside him on the middle couch, while Daria sits on the right couch)

DARREN: _(Grins, chuckles:)_ You've _got_ to be _kidding_ me.

DARIA: _(Smirks:) Alfred Hitchcock_ could've made a _sequel_ to _"The Birds"_ with _this_ ep, bro. _(Notices Darren still smiling:)_ Say, is it _me_, or do you seem to be really _happy_ for some reason?

DARREN: _(Looks over at Jane quietly, then Daria:)_ Well, besides having _you_ two here with me--

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ --The boy _obviously_ has _good_ taste, here--

DARIA: _(Ditto:)_ --That he does, indeed--you may _continue_, bro--

DARREN: --I have a--_major_ announcement that I want to make on Monday, _(Daria and Jane look at each other)_ it's a--_surprise. (Pauses:)_ I've been kind of feeling--_under the gun_ for awhile, as you may have _noticed_, and I feel _relieved_ that I can say something then--it'll help _explain_ why I've been the way I've been.

JANE: _Really_? I _haven't_ noticed. _(Takes another quick glance at Daria, who secretly rolls her eyes:)_ So, um, you can't even _share_ a _tiny_ little bit of the _"surprise"_ to us? _(Daria narrows her eyes a bit at Jane, who gives a quick shrug)_

DARREN: Well, I'd prefer to wait until Monday, Jane, but let's just say that when I tell you, it'll be a _load_ off of my back--and hopefully, more importantly--_yours_.

DARIA: _(Glances at the stairs, smirks:)_ Speaking of _"loads"_, here comes _one_ right now--

_Quinn_ came down the stairs on her cell phone, smirking.

QUINN: Don't _cry_, Scott--it'll just be just for _two_ weeks, an' then I'll be _free_ to start dating again! _(Pauses:)_ Yeah, I can put you down on my _list_, no problem! Of course, you haveta realize that I'll _still_ have _another_ week after that before I can be off of my dumb _curfew_, so you might wanna wait until then to date me, unless you wanna bring me home by _8:00 p.m._! _(Pauses, gasps:)_ You _WILL_ wait?! All right--see you then--byeee! _(Clicks off phone, comes into living room, delighted:)_ Boy, that's the _tenth_ guy who's called me in the past _hour_!

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Lining up your _suitors_, sis? Can't wait for that _dam_ to burst open and _flood_ the town--prepare for _evacuation_, everyone. _(Darren chuckles, and Jane smirks)_

QUINN: _(Frowns, confused:)_ Huh? Daria, Lawndale is near an _ocean_! They wouldn't have _dams_ for the water, they'd have--uh--_(looks up, then:)_ what do they call those walls that hold _back_ and _control_ th' water--?

DARREN: --I believe they're called _dikes_, Quinn--though some _seawalls_ can hold back and protect the land from _erosion--(pauses, frowns to himself:)_ uh, aren't we getting off _track_, here?

DARIA: _(Smirks some more:)_ I only think that _Quinn_ is the one who's getting _"off track"_, Darren--as _usual. (Quinn rolls her eyes at Daria)_

JANE: Speaking of the _ocean_, that reminds me--are you guys going to that _"invention thingamabob session"_ near the waterfront that Daria told me about while we were out _instead_ of _McGrundy's_? Daria wanted to check with _you_, Darren, before she told me.

DARREN: No, though it would be somewhat _tempting_ to see what this _"invention"_ is--and Helen _understood_ that--she said she and Jake would be taking _Quinn_ out tonight to _Chez Pierre_ following that meeting--we can go out to _McGrundy's_, Daria, Jane.

QUINN: _(Giddy:)_ An' I _can't_ wait to go to _Chez Pierre_ to eat! Even though I'm gonna be stuck with mom, dad, and some _dumb_ guy, I'll be at my _favorite_ eatin' place, so it won't be _that_ bad--

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ --And you can even lure _more_ male _"patsies"_ to round out your little _harem_ of _guys_.

QUINN: _(Smirks:)_ Hey--it's like a bear _collectin'_ food for th' winter, an' puttin' it up for _storage_ in his _cave_, or somethin'--you gotta always have like, a ready _stock_ available for when times get _hard--(Darren gives Quinn a **stunned** look at her "logic", while Jane snickers, and Daria slowly shakes her head, smirks)_ though that'll _never_ happen to _me_!

DARREN: Uh, Quinn--

JANE: _(Gently cuts him off, pats Darren's arm:) --Now, now_, Darren--let's leave Quinn to her little _"philosophies"--_

DARIA: _(Watching the TV:)_ --And quite a _fasinating_ group of little _"philosophies"_ they are, too--one of these days, I'm gonna write a _book_ titled, _"Quinn's Words of Wisdom"_, available at a bookstore near _you_.

QUINN: _(Gasps, delighted, once again misunderstands Daria:) Really_, Daria? Well, when you're _ready_, let me know, an' I'll tell you all about _how_ girls should get guys, while lettin' the guys think _they're_ gettin' the girls, such as what clothes an' make-up to wear an' all--_(looks at a still shell-shocked Darren:) ooops_--that's right! Even though you're my bro, Darren, I can't say how in _front_ of you--_female trade secret_ an' all!

JANE: _(Smirks, faux admonishment:)_ That's _right_, Darren--it would be a _crime_ for you to hear Quinn's female trade secrets--even though they'd _eventually_ get published in a book for _everyone_ to read, anyway! _(Darren drops his head down, starts to laugh)_

QUINN: _(Smug:) Exactly_, Jane! _(Pauses:)_ You know--don't take this th' _wrong_ way and all, but I guess I'd prefer to see _you_ with Darren than _Sandi_! I mean, I suppose like, I could _tolerate_ you far _better_ than I ever could her! _(Jane, Darren, and even Daria, who has turned down the TV out of shock, look at her, stunned. Quinn notices their reaction)_ Hey, w-why are you guys _lookin'_ at me like _that_ for?

Daria was about to say something when the cell phone rang again. Quinn clicked it on.

QUINN: That's for _meee_! Hello?

VOICE: _(In a cold tone:)_ Like, hello, Quinn--am I like, _disturbing_ you, or something?

QUINN: _(Surprised:) S-Sandi_? _(Everyone looks at Quinn, intrigued)_ What are you callin' _me_ for? _(Pauses:)_ Have you decided to have a _fashion meeting_ or somethin'? _(Thought v.o., smirks to herself: Or maybe you're tryin' to rub in my face what "happened" last night with Darren, "Felicia"?)_

SANDI: _No_--I'm calling you to let you know that I _know_ about your little _dirty trick_ you, Jane, and Darri--Dariann--_Daria_ pulled last night, because I _saw_ Darren talking to you all, an' I'm _not_ happy about it, not _one_ bit! _(Quinn turns pale, while Darren, Daria, and Jane get up and crowd around the phone to listen)_ No _wonder_ Darren wouldn't kiss me last night! You all must've been _spying_ on him, and he couldn't go _through_ with it, because he _knew_ you were there! _(Darren rolls his eyes, and Jane grins, amused, while Daria slightly smirks)_

QUINN: _(Nervous:) N-now_, Sandi, uh--

SANDI: _(Cuts her off, angry tone:)_ --I like, demand _retrospect_! I want something to _make up_ for my _embarassment_ and _humiliation_ last night!

DARIA: _(Smirks some more, in a low voice to Jane and Darren:)_ Sandi wants to _remember_ the _past_? Possibly go _back_ into it? Maybe that inventor guy that mom and dad will be seeing this evening has created a _time machine_. Sandi could go _along_ with Quinn and find out for herself. _(Quinn glares at Daria, while Jane and Darren snicker)_

DARREN: _(In the same tone:)_ I think Sandi means _retribution_, sis.

DARIA: _(Wicked smirk:)_ I know, bro--I couldn't _help_ myself--it was too _easy_ of a target for my _wonderful_ sarcasm. _(Jane gives the same smirk)_

SANDI: _AHA_! That's _Dari's_ voice, isn't it? I _knew_ it! _(Pauses:)_ Now when I think about it, Dari has a _good_ idea about goin' out this _evening_! You can pay me _back_ in that manner, Quinn! I don't know _how_ or _where_, yet, but--

QUINN: _(Stunned look:)_ --H-huh? _P-pay_? What are you talkin' about, Sandi? I'm not gonna _be_ here tonight, because I'm goin' with my mom an' dad to see some guy, an' then we're going to go to _Chez Pierre_, an'--

SANDI: _(Sneering sound:)_ --Even _better_! You _owe_ me, an' if you don't lemme go with you to _Chez Pierre_ tonight--you _paying_, of course--you'll be kicked _out_ of th' Fashion Club!

Frowning, Darren suddenly reached over and _snatched_ the phone from an astonished Quinn.

DARREN: _(Snarls:)_ Now, _look_, Sandi--if you're going to _blame_ someone, blame _me_. It was _my_ idea for Daria and Jane to _spy_ on us--leave Quinn _out_ of it!

SANDI: _(Her voice turns a little softer, surprised:) D-Darren_? Uh--um--_(Daria, Quinn, and Jane look at each other, surprised at Sandi's sudden change of tone, while Darren doesn't notice)_ er, don't you think I deserve _something_ for what happened last night? _I_ didn't know that they were spying on us, even though it was _your_ idea--_(pauses:)_ an' I do _forgive_ you for it, by the way, because I know you were under _pressure_ an' all--_(Quinn and Jane roll their eyes, while Daria looks impassive)_

DARREN: _(Through clenched teeth:)_ --I _wasn't_ "under pressure", Sandi, and--_(pauses, sighs:)_ look, if _I_ give Quinn some _money_ for tonight to help pay for you to go to _Chez Pierre_ with her, will that help _patch_ things up, and keep Quinn in the Fashion Club? _(Daria and Jane give knowing looks to each other)_

SANDI: _(After a moment:)_ Like, sure, Darren--that'll do. _(Pauses, grows **very** quiet:)_ Like, um, I'm really _sorry_ for gettin' angry like that an' stuff. I wouldn't want _you_ mad at me, or something, or another, Darren. _(Jane's mouth goes agape, then she grits her teeth, while Quinn looks dumbfounded, and Daria retains her "expressionless expression")_

DARREN: _(Calms down:)_ Well, I suppose no harm's been done, Sandi--I'll put Quinn back on the phone, and she'll give you the time when she, Jake, and Helen will pick you up tonight, okay?

SANDI: _(In the same soft tone:)_ Um, okay, Darren, and uh, like, _thanks_.

DARREN: _(Cocks an eyebrow, glances over uneasily at Jane:)_ Ah, you're--_welcome_, Sandi--here's Quinn. _(Gives Quinn the cell phone back, goes over to the side with Jane and Daria)_

JANE: _(Sounding annoyed, slight frown:)_ Well now--_someone's_ beginning to have a _melting_ effect on _"The Ice Witch"_, aren't they?

DARIA: _(Before Darren can speak, smirks:)_ My bro's done what a _facial sledgehammer_ couldn't do--_tame_ "The Griffin".

DARREN: _(Sighs:)_ Jane, I hope you don't _think_--

JANE: _(Softens, walks up and pecks Darren on the mouth:) --Nahhh_. I guess you seem to have that _effect_ on just about _every_ girl you meet, Darren--even on the _"Debutante"_, there--I can't _fault_ you for that. Besides, while Quinn and Sandi exchange fashion _horror_ stories at _"Chez Crapola"_, you, me and Daria will be at _McGrundy's_ tonight having a good time.

DARREN: _(Smiles:)_ Yes--at least I won't have to _put up_ with Sandi anymore tonight. _(Pauses:)_ Oh, I meant to ask--did you two take _care_ of that _"personal stuff"_ that Daria said she wanted to get done today?

DARIA: _(Looks over at Jane:)_ Uh, _yeah_, bro--it's taken care of--in fact, Jane and I will tell you about it _Monday_ as well, probably after you make _your_ "surprise" announcement.

DARREN: _(Raised eyebrows:) Really_? _(Shrugs:)_ Well, I hope it won't get _lost_ in my announcement.

JANE: _(Smirks, glances at Daria:)_ Oh, I don't think it will, Darren --I don't think it will. _(Darren cocks his head at Jane, gives an inquisitive look)_

DARREN: O--kay--anyway, anyone in the mood for some _pizza_? We can call it in, if you want.

DARIA: _(Glances over at Jane, smirks:)_ Sure--we're _always_ in the mood for that--and I'm assuming that _you're_ treating, bro?

DARREN: _(Smiles:)_ Of course.

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ Of _course_.

QUINN: _(After finishing her talk to Sandi, clicks off the phone, gives it to Darren:)_ As long as you order me a small cheeseless one, Darren, it's okay. _(Darren starts dialing on the cell phone to the Pizza King)_

_(Scene changes to a highway, the same time)_

A silver-colored tinted-glass minivan went down the highway at a modest rate of speed through the hot and humid air. Inside the TV supplied, air-conditioned interior, Benny Lodell was driving, with Sam Norwood sitting shotgun, and going through some legal briefs. In the middle rear seat, wearing modest summer apparel like the other men, sat a bespectacled William Appleton, who was talking phoneless on a specially-connected intercom system while looking through some files. In the very rear, there were several duffel bags, and an icebox.

WILLIAM: --And you say that the men who _dispatched_ Sanchez arrived in Lawndale very early this morning, Oscar?

OSCAR: Yessir--_Bert_ and _Ernie_ are sleeping in a room beside my room here at the _Knight's Inn_. They had _no_ problems getting on the plane in Los Angeles. They told me they _ditched_ the car in the _Pacific Ocean_--it'll take the cops _weeks_ to find it _(snickers:)_--if at _all_.

WILLIAM: Good, I--_(cocks an eyebrow, pauses:) excuse me_, I'm sorry, Oscar, but did you say their names were _"Bert"_ and _"Ernie"_?

OSCAR: Uh, yessir, Boss--_(pauses:)_ is there--a _problem_, sir?

BENNY: _(Glances through the interior rearview mirror:)_ Yeah, Boss--what's the problem? _(Norwood looks up and back at William as well)_

WILLIAM: _(Looks over his glasses:) Shut up_, and keep driving, Benny. _(Frowns:)_ What in the hell _is_ this, Oscar? I find myself half-wondering if _Big Bird_ and the _Cookie Monster_ will be _joining_ us along with _Elmo_ and _Mr. Snuffalufacus_, and we suddenly break out into some sort of damn _educational-type of song-and-dance about a "rubber-ducky"_! _(Benny and Norwood look at each other strangely, then slowly turn foreward, **wide-eyed**, saying nothing)_

OSCAR: Huh, Boss? I don't understand.

WILLIAM: _(Sighs:)_ Never mind, Oscar--I find myself feeling a little _tense_, that's all--wake up, er, _"Bert"_ and _"Ernie"_, and get to that old warehouse area, and _set_ things up. Continue to also scope out the surroundings--we want _absolute_ privacy when I _"deal"_ with my _"nephew". (Adds:)_ Make sure you also check out where the _"players"_ are before we get there--got that? I don't want any _last-minute snafus--(pauses, grins:)_ oh, yes, and have you gotten in contact with that _courier service_ concerning delivering _"The Message"_ to my _"nephew"_?

OSCAR: Yessir, though when I at first told them what _house_ I wanted them to deliver _"The Message"_ to, the courier service seemed a little _reluctant_ for some reason--however, when I offered them an _advance_ payment to deliver _"The Message"_, they _jumped_ at the opportunity. How far are you all from Lawndale, Boss?

WILLIAM: _(Looks up:)_ Benny?

BENNY: _(Looks over at the dashboard clock:)_ Estimated time of arrival is _two_ hours, Boss.

WILLIAM: Did you hear that, Oscar?

OSCAR: Yessir--see you then. _(Hangs up)_

WILLIAM: _(Scowls:)_ Sam, is everything _set_ for my _"nephew"_ to sign over the company to me legally?

NORWOOD: _(In a nervous tone, swivels his chair to face William:)_ Y-yessir. I-I have the legal documents all prepared for your _"nephew"_ to sign, Boss.

WILLIAM: _(Sits back in his chair, smug:)_ Good--very good. I want us to make sure this all goes down as _quickly_ as possible--I have to be back in New York City by early Sunday _morning. (Grins sinisterly:)_ We have to bid my _"nephew"_ a _fond_ farewell, after all, and everything has to be _"just right"_ for his _demise. (Benny smirks wickedly, while Norwood wipes his forehead nervously with a hankercheif)_ When we get to this _"Lawndale"_, we'll rest up, and then go over to that warehouse area to _"greet"_ my dear _"nephew's"_ birth family.

_(Scene changes to a jumbo jet, the same time)_

The _Airdale Airlines_ jet was now at 40,000 feet. Near the rear, Woo, was sitting in the aisle seat, while Leroy sat in the middle seat, and David sat in the window seat, looking out at the cumulus clouds that effortlessly stretched across the bright late-morning sky. A petite brunette stewardess came up to them, smiling, while rolling a cart of drinks and snacks.

STEWARDESS: Would you all like something to eat or drink, gentleman?

LEROY: Uh, yeah--gimme a Coke and peanuts--thanks.

DAVID: Iced tea and that snack cake, please.

WOO: Just black coffee, thank you.

The stewardess gave them what they asked, and continued on her way down the aisle to the other passengers.

LEROY: _(Sits back in his seat, sighs in relief:)_ That was kind of _close_, there, Woo--I thought for _sure_ we wouldn't be able to give those plainclothes cops the _slip_ at the ballgame! I'll just bet Keller's gonna be _PO'd_ when they come back and tell him they _lost_ us! _(Sips his cup of soda)_

DAVID: _(Rolls his eyes, chuckles, sarcastic tone:)_ Oh, that's just _tough_--still, I found myself occasionally looking _back_ over my shoulder when we left _Dodger Stadium_.

WOO: A _good_ thing that we were able to lose the police in the narrow _hallways_ just inside the stadium because there were so many people in attendance--it was _"Bat Day"_ after all, and a _sure_ sell-out--

LEROY: _(Smirks:)_ --And you had the _tickets_, Woo, don't _forget_ that. _(Pauses:)_ Carla didn't _waste_ any time in having our plane tickets and bags, huh?

WOO: _(Smiles:)_ Yes, Leroy--Carla, as you _both_ know, is _like_ that--we can _always_ count on her. _(Changes tone:)_ All right, gentleman--the moment we arrive in Lawndale, we'll go to the _Morgendorffers_, and check on Darren. I already have a rental car ready to be waiting for us when we come to the local airport. The flight is scheduled to arrive near Lawndale about _7:00 p.m._ We'll talk to Darren, and then we'll get a hotel room for the next few nights.

DAVID: Woo, as you know, we're taking a _chance_ on your _"hunch"_--William Appleton, or whoever, might _not_ go after Darren Appleton--_(Woo nods slowly, then David hesitantly adds:)_ are you--are you trying to _make up_ for what you perceive as a--a _personal failure_ to Darren? _(Leroy looks uneasily at David, then over at Woo)_

Woo stared stoically at David for a moment, then unbuckled his seat belt and got up. He turned to David, frowned, leaned over, and spoke in a _cold_ whisper.

WOO: Of _course_ it was a _personal_ failure, David--I _told_ you that. I said I wanted to talk to Darren face-to-face, as well, and offer my _apologies_. Don't you forget that I--_we_ were _used_, too--_(narrows his eyes:)_ and like I _also_ told you, I _hate_ being used--did you forget _that_, too? _(Stands straight up:)_ I'm going to try and call Darren again on the plane's phone--he might as well know that we're coming. _(Leaves)_

Leroy watched him go, then turned back to David with a look of _admonishment_ on his face.

LEROY: What's the _matter_ with you, man? You know what this is _doing_ to Woo!

DAVID: _(Glares:)_ That's just my _point_, Leroy--he's taking this _too_ personally--I mean _look_ at us! We're going to a _hick_ hi-income suburban town across the country because he's _PO'd_ that someone _"used"_ him to kill a piece of _trash_ like Sanchez!

LEROY: _(Cocks an eyebrow, feigns surprise:)_ Well, _damn_--what'd you _expect_, David? He wants to get _back_ at whoever did this--and _I_ want to, too! Don't _you_?

DAVID: _(Looks up, exasperated:) Of course_ I do, Leroy--it's just I've _never_ seen him this worked _up_ over a case before. I just hope this isn't some sort of wild _goose_ chase and that something actually _happens_ to get him out of his little _"funk"_.

LEROY: _(Finishes his snacks, puts trash in a container in the rear of the seat in front of him:) Relax_, we'll be _ready_ if it isn't a wild goose chase--_(lowers his voice to a whisper, looks around quickly:)_ thanks to that security woman _Maxine_ letting us _pass_ by with our _weapons_ through the metal detectors.

DAVID: _(Ditto:) Huh_--Woo must've paid her a _pretty_ penny to take a _chance_ like that.

LEROY: _(Grins, closes his eyes, crosses his arms, leans back in his seat:)_ It's _more_ than just that, bud--Woo's kind of _attracted_ to her--Carla _told_ me the other day. _(David looks at Leroy, stunned)_

Woo stood in line impatiently in front of several other passengers, waiting for a _heavy-set_ woman, who was wearing a _large straw hat_ and a green summer pants suit, finish her conversation.

WOMAN: That's right, dear--I'll be arriving at the airport near _Middlebury_ about 7:00 p.m. _(Pauses:)_ I'll see you then--goodbye. _(Hangs up the phone, leaves)_

WOO: _(Watches the woman leave, frowns in mild disgust along with the other passengers in line who were watching her as well, thought v.o.: That is one **ugly** straw hat--it looks like it could go on the head of a **horse** on a farm--oh, well--) (Picks up phone, dials)_

_(Note to reader: Yes, this is the "Aunt Bernice" of Jane and Trent from the episode "The Teachings of Don Jake"--I couldn't resist!)_

_(Scene is back at the Morgendorffer's)_

Quinn was in her room eating a slice of the cheeseless pizza Darren had ordered for her, talking to a _pleading_ Stacy on _Darren's_ phone. Downstairs, Daria Jane, and Darren were watching _Sick, Sad World_.

QUINN: _(Smug look:)_ Oh, I don't _know_, Stacy--you an' Tiffany really _hurt_ me last night when you didn't come to my _rescue_--why _should_ I _talk_ to you?

STACY: _(Almost crying:) Pleeeease_, Quinn--I got sooo _scared_ of Sandi, and I didn't want to be put in the _middle_! _Pleeease_ don't hold it _against_ me!

QUINN: _(Enjoying this while picking at her pizza slice:)_ I _dunno_, Stacy--I mean, _Tiffany_ just called me, an' wanted me to _forgive_ her, too--_(pauses:)_ tell ya what--you come over with my bag of clothes _tomorrow_, an' I'll _consider_ forgivin' you, okay?

STACY: _(Now estatic:) Oh THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU_, Quinn! _(Quinn smirks slowly--Stacy's back to Quinn's side--just like Tiffany is)_

_(Scene goes back to the plane)_

Woo listened to the busy signal, then hung up the phone slowly and quietly. Darren obviously was talking to someone else. Woo decided to not call anymore to Darren, simply just to _show up_ at the Morgendorffers--when Woo thought about it, it was probably _better_ that way--perhaps Darren would be _grateful_ for the surprise visit--and be more forgiving of how and why Woo behaved the way he did last night--one could only _hope_. He sighed and went back to his seat, while another passenger picked up the phone.

_(Scene fast-forwards to the Morgendorffer's, about 6:00 p.m.)_

Helen came downstairs to the living room, dressed in a slightly more upscale version of her power suit--a gold-colored one, while an _impatient_ Jake waited, standing in the center of the living room, pacing, and looking at his watch. When Helen had at first heard from Quinn asking if she could take _Sandi_ with them to _Chez Pierre_ for a _"mini-fashion/food summit between the president and the vice-president"_, Helen had almost said _no_--then she remembered the possibly _lucrative_ meeting she and Jake were going to have with this "John Smith" fellow, and put on a _deliciously wicked_ smile. Helen figured that Sandi could inform a _jealous_ Linda of Helen's "good fortune"--in and of itself an _ironic_ situation, and Helen promptly changed her mind, _enthusiastically_ giving her support for Sandi to come along.

In the meantime, Quinn was putting on her "finishing touches" on herself in her room. There was _no_ way Sandi was going to look _prettier_ than her at _Chez Pierre_. Quinn's "plan" of getting even _more_ boys to date after the dating/curfew ban was somewhat _thwarted_ by her greatest rival being there _with_ her, but in a way, it could work to Quinn's _advantage_--both she and Sandi could _compete_ over the number of boys that would go out with them when the boys _compared_ the two there--and Quinn was _very_ confident that she'd _easily_ outdo Sandi.

Daria was in her room reading, waiting for when Darren would be ready to go, while Darren was in his room talking to Curtis, and telling his friend that Monday would _definitely_ be the day to tell his birth family who he really was (he did not add that he also was going to tell them about _why_ he could not say who he really was until then as well--the same for his friend until then), _"Come Hell or Highwater"_. Curtis was relieved when told so. Darren said goodbye to his friend, and clicked off the phone, going downstairs. Helen was waiting with an _increasingly_ angry Jake in the living room.

JAKE: _(Looks at his watch, becomes wide-eyed:)_ GAH! DAMMIT! _(Looks up, frowns:)_ QUINN, GET THE _HELL_ DOWN HERE SO WE CAN GO! WE GOTTA PICK UP YOUR LITTLE FRIEND, SANDI, TOO, YOU KNOW! _(Darren flinches at Jake's rant)_

HELEN: _(Frowns at Jake:)_ Jake, calm down--we'll get there in time! _(Looks at watch, gasps, looks up, frowns:)_ QUINN, GET DOWN HERE _NOW_, YOUNG LADY! _(Darren flinches at Helen's rant as well, Helen then calms down a bit when she sees Darren:)_ Oh, Darren, when are you, Daria, and Jane going to that _McGrundy's_ place?

DARREN: Uh, about _7:30_, Helen. I don't know what time we'll be coming back--

HELEN: _(Smiles:)_ Never mind, sweetie, I _know_ you'll take _good_ care of your sister and Jane. _(Looks up again:)_ QUINN, WE'RE NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER!

QUINN: _(From upstairs:)_ MUH--OOM! You can't rush _perfection_!

DARIA: _(Also from upstairs:)_ But mom and dad _are_ rushing _you_, sis.

QUINN: _(Still from upstairs:)_ Shut up, Daria!

Quinn finally came in view down the stairs in the same _"dramatic"_ style that she had when Darren took her to _Chez Pierre_. She wore a lavendar sleeveless _chiffon_ dress, white strapless dress shoes, and a lavandar chiffon scarf with a matching white purse. Her make-up was modest, but it brought out her face quite well. Quinn's hair was done in a wrap-around fashion (similar to the episode "Pierce Me"). Daria also came down behind her. Both Jake and Darren did a _double-take_ when they saw Quinn, who immediately caught their looks, and turned on the _charm_.

QUINN: _(Smiles triumphantly:)_ Well, Daddy, Darren, what do you guys think? _(Thought v.o.: Sandi's **doomed**.)_

JAKE: _(Proud smile:)_ My little girl's a young _woman_!

DARREN: _(Smiles:)_ You look _stunning_, Quinn, I have to admit.

HELEN: _(Ditto:)_ Sweetie, I _must_ say you look _beautiful_!

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ I know _I_ must _not_ have to say it, so I'll just say _good_ luck on trying to _outdo_ Sandi, sis. _(Quinn and Helen frown at her)_ Hey, I'm _cheering_ for Quinn to _win_ the _"Who-looks-better-than-who"_ contest with Sandi, you know, so it really wasn't an _insult_--after all, _"blood is thicker than water"_--and all that blood that's gonna be _spilled_ at _Chez Pierre_ has to be _washed out_ by the _water_ that's gonna be spilled from the _sweat and tears_ that are gonna be _falling_ during the _fashion-fight. (Darren chuckles quietly to himself)_

QUINN: _(Narrows her eyes, becomes angry along with Helen:)_ DARIA--

DARIA: _(Waves her hands, cuts her off:)_ --Off with you all, now--_shoo, shoo_--you don't wanna be late trying to hit it _big_, do you, Mom and Dad?

JAKE: _(Before Helen and Quinn can say anything:)_ Hey, that's right! Let's go, you two! You and Darren have a good time at _McDonald's_, Kiddo! _(Pulls a surprised Helen and Quinn out with him, Helen shuts the door behind her)_

DARREN: _(Laughs, looks back at Daria:) McDonald's_?

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Yeah--haven't you heard, bro? We're gonna see _Ronald McDonald_ sing _"Icebox Woman"_ and give out _Happy Meals_ simultaneously. It's the restaurant's _new_ way of drawing in customers because their _crappy-tasting_ food isn't doing the _trick_ anymore--they need some new _gimmicks_.

Darren, still laughing, was about to say something else when the doorbell rang. He opened it, and saw _Jane_ standing there.

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ Hey, do I really look _that_ funny? _(Goes up and kisses Darren)_

DARIA: _(Ditto:)_ Define _"funny". (Jane mock-glares at Daria)_

DARREN: _(Grins:)_ C'mon in, Jane. _(Jane does, and they all go into the living room)_

JANE: Got some _news_ for you guys--Mystik Spiral's gonna be a little _late_ coming in tonight--Trent called me just before I started to come over here, and told me that during their last practice, Max's new drum got a big _hole_ in it--they're gonna be _delayed_ an hour in getting to _McGrundy's_ because the shop where they got it from was in _Leeville_. They're gonna get a _free_ replacement there--part of the _"company guarantee"_. Trent's really _bummed_ out about it.

DARIA: _Ouch_--damn cheap drums. So it'll be _8:30_--okay. What'll we do in the _meantime_ to occupy our _sinister_ little minds for the next two hours?

JANE: _(Smirks:) Sick, Sad World's_ having an _early_ evening show. We could check it out.

DARREN: _(Arches an eyebrow:) Hmm_--that show is on a _lot_ here, isn't it?

DARIA: I _never_ noticed. Anyway, I'll make some microwavable popcorn, and we can watch another _"SSW Gem"_ on the TV. _(Leaves for the kitchen)_

JANE: _(Sits down on the couch, pats it, looks at Darren seductively:) C'mere_, you.

DARREN: _(Smirks, comes over:)_ Be _gentle_ with me. _(Sits down beside her)_

JANE: _(Puts her arms around his neck, snorts:)_ Yeah, _right_--since when have I done _that_? _(They both start to kiss each other deeply)_

Daria was about to come back in the living room when she saw Darren and Jane on the couch making out. She sighed quietly to herself, and slipped back into the kitchen.

_(Scene changes to Jake's Lexus, the same time)_

Jake was driving like a _madman_ on the way to the Griffins. Helen looked over at him, annoyed.

HELEN: Jake, slow down! This is a _residential_ area! We'll get to see _"Mr. Smith"_ in time--_(adds, low voice:)_ unless you get a _damn_ ticket, that is.

QUINN: _(Jostled around a bit:)_ Yeah, Daddy! My hair's gonna be all _over_ th' place, an' I can't have it messed-up in front of _Sandi_!

JAKE: _(Now slowing down a bit:)_ Okay, okay, you guys--sorry--I'm just _really_ excited about this opportunity, Helen. I _still_ can't believe our _luck_!

HELEN: _(Smiles:)_ I know what you mean, Jakey--it's wonderful that we're _finally_ being _recognized_ for all our hard work. Now, we can finally get the things for the girls--and _Darren_ that we want.

JAKE: Hmmm--in _Darren's_ case, Helen, have you noticed that he seems to have _some_ money, and I don't mean what his--_(pauses:) parents_ left him? _(Helen and now Quinn look at Jake inquisitively)_ I mean, when I was out with him the other day playing golf, he _insisted_ on paying the _steep_ playing fee--_(Helen **glares** at Jake)_ n-now _calm down_, honey--he said he wanted to _return_ the favor for our kindness, so I let him pay for it just this _once_, and I happened to notice while he was taking some money out of his wallet, that I thought I saw he had a _Northolt Platinum Card_! _Whaho_! I've heard that those cards have a _$500,000_ line of credit!

HELEN: _(Stunned along with Quinn:) WHAT_?! Jake, you _had_ to have _thought_ you saw that card! I can't _believe_ Darren would have _that_ much money, honey!

JAKE: _(Shrugs:)_ Yeah--I guess you're _right. (Eyes brighten up:)_ Hey, there's the _Griffin's_! _(Pulls the car in their driveway)_

Quinn sat back in her seat and thought about what her father had said, and began to remember--the quick _$50_ advance for getting her that pink silk blouse. The paying for the Circa Original--_$800_, the same night while taking her to _Chez Pierre_. Taking Sandi to _Pastroni's_ and the _Haven_ the same night _along_ with Daria and Jane. Getting money from him over Sandi and _Chez Pierre_ for tonight. She gasped, now actually wondering if Darren had more money than she thought--Quinn decided to _inquire_ to Darren when she got back tonight. For the moment, Quinn turned her attention to _Sandi_. What would she be _wearing_? Could it _compete_ with Quinn's outfit? She didn't have to wait long to find out, because Sandi came out of the house with Linda and Tom Griffin, and Sam and Chris. Fluffy the cat came from around the back yard.

Quinn _fumed_ when she saw Sandi's attire--Sandi was wearing an even _more_ expensive-looking tan-colored short-sleeved short dress with matching earrings, strapless shoes, elbow-length gloves and purse. Her hair was actually done in a swirled fashion--not that different from Quinn's own look, but even _more_ stylish. Sandi smirked when she saw Quinn, stopping at the passenger door of the Lexus, then looked over _smugly_ at her parents, Tom and Linda. Linda smirked when she saw Sandi's look, then _glared_ at her husband, who caught his wife's look, then _ran_ to Sandi, and opened the door for his daughter, who got in. Jake leaned over Helen and greeted Tom.

JAKE: Hey, Tom, my man! How's it hangin'?

TOM: It's fine, Jake--_(looks timidly over at Linda, who's coming over, while Sam and Chris go at it in the front yard)_ it's--_fine_.

LINDA: _(Smirks, in a sneer:) Hellooo_, Helen, Jake--I trust you'll both show my daughter a _nice_ time like your _son_ did last night?

HELEN & JAKE: _(Shocked:) WHAT_?! _(Quinn turns ashen, sinks slowly in the back seat, while Sandi watches her do so, and smirks)_

LINDA: _(Looks at both of them disdainfully, then gives a wicked grin:)_ It's _quite_ true--Sandi said your son was such a--_tiger_ last night--who knew Darren could be so much of a--_lover_? _(Quinn then grows quietly furious, while Sandi gives a triumphant smirk at her)_

HELEN: _(Tries to find the words:)_ W-what do you _mean_, Linda? Darren was with _Jane_ last night! _(Pauses, frowns:)_ You _must_ be _mistaken_--my son would _never_--

LINDA: _(Cold tone, cuts her off:) --No_. He _was_ here last night--my husband and sons saw him here. According to Sandi, they had the time of their _lives_ last night. _(Tom looks as if he's about to say something, but another quick **glare** from Linda silences him.)_

HELEN: _(Speechless:)_ B-but _why_--

LINDA: --Maybe it's because he knows a _superior_ girl when he _sees_ one like Sandi in comparison to this _"Jane"_ girl, Helen? There's _no_ shame in admitting that, you know. Maybe this will be the start of something between our _families_? Darren's certainly a _handsome_ fellow. _(Thought v.o.: Though if I weren't married to my simpleton of a husband, and if Sandi didn't like him, and if I were **23 years younger**--oh well--)_

QUINN: _(Turns to Sandi, in a low tone:) Damn it_, Sandi--what's goin' on here? _Why_ are you sayin' all this? You know that you an' Darren didn't--

SANDI: _(Ditto, to Quinn, haughty:)_ --Like, what's the matter, _Quh--inn_? If Darren and I _didn't_ have such a _"good"_ time, why don't you tell your _parents_ about it--_(faux shock:) ooops_--that's right--you can't say anything like _"I was there with **Doreen** and **Jasmine**, and saw th' whole thing"_, 'cause you were _supposed_ to be at _Stacy's_ last night. _(Quinn looks shocked:)_ I _got_ it out of Stacy while she was falling _all over herself_ this morning when she was _still_ apologizing to me along with _Tiffany. (Smirks:)_ You shouldn't have said _anything_ to them about your _"punishment". (Looks away arrogantly:)_ Oh, well--_(Quinn clenches her teeth, frustrated, then looks down, closes her eyes to calm herself)_ perhaps _this_ will teach you _once and for all_ to not challenge my _authority_ in the Fashion Club. _(Notices Quinn's closed eyes:)_ Quinn, if you continue to _frown_ like that, you'll get _worry_ lines, and that is like, _sooo_ not fashionable.

QUINN: _(Sighs, resigned:)_ Y-yeah, Sandi--not fashionable. _(Looks out of the window while Sandi looks forward haughtily)_

Helen simply became quiet, looking ahead, shocked. Jake then waved goodbye to the Griffins, and started to back out of the driveway.

HELEN: How--how could Darren _lie_ like that to us, Jake? _Why_ would he _do_ that? _(Thought v.o.: Darren should **not** do something like that to Jane--I'm going to have a little **talk** with him when we get back tonight.)_

JAKE: Gosh, honey, maybe he really _does_ like Sandi, and didn't want to _hurt_ Jane's feelings? Something could've happened _between_ those two, and he decided to go out with Sandi? I mean, who are _we_ to tell him who he should and shouldn't like, right? _(Sandi grins and **blushes**, while Quinn secretly sticks her finger in her mouth in a "barfing" mode)_

HELEN: I thought for sure--_(pauses:)_ I--guess, Jake--_(looks back, ashen:)_ did you er, have a _good_ time with my son last night, Sandi?

SANDI: _(A **very** big grin:)_ Oooooh, _yes_, Mrs. Morgendorffer--Darren was like, _sooo_ wonderful, an' stuff, an'--

Quinn rolled her eyes in disgust, and put her hands over her face--this was going to be a _bad_ night.

The grey Camry that had previously followed Darren in Lawndale, now was following the Lexus from a distance, only this time it was driven by the short, beared man who had been with the red-haired goateed man in Los Angeles, known as _Ernie_, and not Oscar. He was talking on the cell phone in the car while watching the Lexus.

ERNIE: --Yessir, Boss--they're _finally_ on their way--and with a _bonus_--you worried about how we were gonna get Darren Appleton's _girlfriend_--well, sir, she's coming _with_ his birth family to you!

WILLIAM: _(Estatic:) Fantastic_, Ernie! This is _outstanding_--better than we planned! All right, double back to the Morgendorffer's, and continue to watch for when _"The Message"_ is delivered to my _"nephew"--(pauses:)_ we have another _20_ minutes when that courier service is suppose to arrive. _(Snickering sound:)_ I'll bet when he reads _"The Message"_, he'll _tear_ out of that house like his _life_ depended on it--which it _does_, but it won't matter after _tonight_, anyway. _Follow_ him when he does.

ERNIE: _(Starts to turn the car down another street to head back:)_ Right, Boss--er, what about your _"nephew's"_ other sister, _(looks down at the pad:) Dar-ee-ah_? She's there with _another_ girl who came up right after the Morgendorffers left to go to the Griffins.

WILLIAM: _Damn_! Knowing Darren, he'll probably want to keep this _"Da-ri-uh"_ and her friend _out_ of it by _not_ telling them--_(pauses:)_ ah, so much the _better_, I suppose--don't _worry_ about them, Ernie--we'll have _more_ than enough _"insurance"_. Just follow Darren back to the warehouses.

ERNIE: Okay, Boss. _(Looks up at the darkening cloudy sky:)_ Boy, it looks like some _serious_ rain is on the way, sir--I heard that there's a lot of summer storms in this part of the country this time of the year--do you think your _"nephew"_ will come if there's a _storm_?

WILLIAM: _(After a moment:) Ernie_, is it?

ERNIE: Uh, yessir--

WILLIAM: --When I want your _weather report_, I'll _ask_ for it, Ernie--my _"nephew"_ will come for his birth family and girlfriend--you just follow him back here when he does, all right? _(Hangs up)_

ERNIE: Uh, yessir. _(Quietly clicks off the cell phone)_

_(Scene changes to the Carter County bay Warehouse District, about 15 minutes later)_

The blue Lexus came up to wooded bay inlet located beside a staggered row of about five, large, brick and wood old, two-story abandoned warehouses with some windows in at least two of them that were cracked and worn from years of abuse by rock-throwing kids, surrounded by a rusting barbed-wire fence that had fading, equally-rusting signs that said _"Private Property, Keep Out"_. There were weeds protruding out of the cracked gray asphalt. The Lexus drove through the open gate unto the old driveway beside one of the warehouses, stopped, and Jake got out. Quinn and Sandi looked at the sight and each other with horrified looks on their faces, then simultaneously formed a well-known word known throughout the Fashion Club:

QUINN & SANDI: EWWWWWWW!

HELEN: _(Turns to both girls, falsetto voice:)_ Now, girls--we _won't_ be here long, and if you wish, you can _stay_ in the car while we talk to this _"Mr. Smith"_, all right?

QUINN: _(Frowns, crosses her arms:)_ Don't worry, Mom--I'm _not_ leavin' the car to go out _there_, no _freakin'_ way! Do you know what that _ground_ out there could do to my _high-heeled_ designer shoes?

SANDI: _(Ditto:)_ Yeah, and how about what the sea _air_ would do to my _face_! Can you, like, _imagine_ the _dryness_ that could occur to it?

QUINN: _(Mumbles to herself, looks out over the place again:)_ One could only _hope_ what the air would do to your face, Sandi.

HELEN: Well, all right, girls--we'll see you in a few. _(Turns around, leaves to follow Jake)_

SANDI: _(Glares:)_ Quinn, like, when you said your parents had to make a little "stop" before we went to _Chez Pierre_, you never said we'd be stopping at _this_ dump!

QUINN: _(Ditto:)_ Well, _I_ didn't know they meant _here_, Sandi! I thought it would be at some _store_, or something!

SANDI: _(Looks around, motions with her arms:)_ Does all of this _look_ like a _store_, Quh--inn?

QUINN: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Well, of _course_ not, Sandi--maybe my parents wanta talk to this guy about a new type of _fabric_, or something.

SANDI: One can only _hope_, Quinn--though I think a _better_ place could've been chosen, such as _Cashman's_, or the _mall_.

QUINN: _(Waves in a nonchalant way:)_ Oh, most _definitely_, Sandi.

Meanwhile, Jake and Helen looked around, confused.

JAKE: We're here, honey--where in the _hell_ is this "Smith" guy?

HELEN: Um, yes--what _is_ going on here? We _are_ on time. You don't think--

Suddenly, coming from around one of the warehouses, _three_ masked men armed with guns came towards Helen, Jake, and the Lexus.

JAKE: _(Grins when he sees them:)_ Hey, what's goin' on, fellows? Are you guys here to provide some sort of _protection_ for _"Mr. Smith's"_ product? Kinda _warm_ for those masks, dontcha think, guys?

HELEN: _(Becomes alarmed, backs away from the men:)_ Uh, Jake, I don't think they're here for _"protection"_--

QUINN: _(Wide-eyed:)_ W-what's happening?

SANDI: _(Ditto:)_ Errr, Quinn--is this some sort of _revenge_ against _me_ for _Darren_? If so, you're _not_ going to get the presidentcy, and you risk being put _out_ of the Fashion Club for _good_ this time!

MAN #1: _(Calmly to Helen:)_ Put up your hands, please. If you _cooperate_, nothing will happen to you.

JAKE: _(Starts to get angry, shakes with rage:) Cooperate_? _COOPERATE_? WHO-IN-THE-HELL-ARE-YOU-GUYS?!

MAN #2: _(Walks up, points his gun nozzle **between** Jake's eyes, still-calm-voice:) We're_ the _"guys"_ with _guns_, and _you're_ the people who're going to do _exactly_ what you're told if you want to leave here _alive_. Anymore _questions_?

HELEN: _(Terrified, while hands put up:) JAKE_!

QUINN: _(Frantic:) DADDY_!

SANDI: _(Ditto:) HEEEEEELP_! IT'S _THEM_ YOU WANT--I'M _TOO, TOO_ VALUABLE! _(Quinn glares at Sandi)_

JAKE: _(Suddenly calm now, in a meek voice:) N-no_, sir! N-no questions at _all_!

MAN #2: Good. _(Motions with his gun:)_ Move. _(Jake does with his hands put up)_

MAN #3: Okay, you two--out of the car. _(Quinn and Sandi get out, and follow Jake and Helen, with the three men behind)_

Everyone went into the middle warehouse, and came into a series of small, abandoned rooms--formally offices for management. Jake, Helen, Quinn, and Sandi were put into one of the cobweb-filled rooms, which were dimly lightly by portable lights, and were forced to sit down, and be tied up back-to-back in chairs. The men then left the room, shutting the door. Jake then barely turned his head to Helen, and spoke.

JAKE: Honey, what's goin' on? Is this some way to _treat_ a person whose gonna make you _millions_ of bucks?

HELEN: _(Through clenched teeth:) Jake! (Sighs:)_ I think it's obvious they _want_ us for something--_(narrows eyes:)_ but for _what_? What could we possibly _have_ that these men want?

QUINN: _(Whines:)_ This isn't _fair_! I just had my nails _manicured_! These ropes are gonna _mess_ them up!

SANDI: _(Ditto:)_ And don't forget about our _wrists_! These _icky_ ropes will _scratch_ our _delicate_ skin! _(Looks at far corner, screams:)_ AH! A _RAT_!

QUINN: _(Screams, looks around:)_ WHERE, _WHERE_?!

SANDI: _(Motions her head in the direction of the rat:) OVER THERE_!

HELEN: _(Looks around, frantic as well:)_ OH, DEAR LORD! JAKE, _DO_ SOMETHING!

JAKE: _(Utterly lost:)_ Geez, honey--I can't _move_! If we don't do anything, _it_ won't! _(Adds:)_ After all--the _cheese_ isn't on your _heads_!

QUINN: _(Sees the rat, now:)_ EEEEK! THERE IT IS!

SANDI: SOMEBODY _DO_ SOMETHING!

As if on cue, one of the masked men came in, and suddenly pulled out his gun, and _shot_ the rat, which when up about _ten_ feet in the air, and landed with a _thump_. Helen, Quinn, and Sandi looked at what happened, horrified, while Jake simply looked _awed_.

MAN: There! That rat won't _bother_ you anymore! Now, _shut up_ and behave! _(Prepares to close the door)_

HELEN: _Wait_! Why are you _doing_ this? If it's _money_ you want--

MAN: _(Chuckles, amused:)_ Lady, _your_ money couldn't _compare_ to _this_ money! Look, just do as you're told, and you and your family and friends will _live_, okay? _(Shuts door)_

JAKE: _(After a moment:)_ Gosh, what'd he mean by _"Your money couldn't compare to **this** money"_, Helen?

HELEN: _(Sighs, looks down:)_ I--don't know, Jakey.

QUINN: D-Daddy? M-mom? I'm _s-scared_.

HELEN: _(Coos, tries to soothe Quinn's fears:)_ Shhhh--we'll be _fine_, sweetie--_(strains to look behind her:) right_, Jake?

JAKE: _(Looks down, sniffs:)_ Oh, _God_--my life has been _such_ a waste--

HELEN: _(Furious:) --JAKE_!

JAKE: _(Snaps out of it:) Huh_? Oh, uh, _yeah_, that's right, Quinn! We'll come out smellin' like a _rose_! Even now, your ol' dad's comin' up with a _plan_ to get us _out_ of here!

QUINN: _(Hopeful:) Really_, Daddy?

JAKE: Oh yeah, sweetie! _(Lowers voice:)_ Helen, _you_ thought of anything, yet? _(Helen rolls her eyes and sighs, looks up, exasperated)_

SANDI: _(Tries to put up a brave front:)_ N-now, Quinn--w-we have to be a-above it _all_--to panic is _soooo_ unfashionable! We c-can't afford to, like, have _tears_ mess up our _clothes_ an' all--and--and--_(starts to weep silently so Quinn would not hear her, which Helen sees, and takes **pity** on Sandi)_

HELEN: _(Using the same tone on Sandi as on Quinn, but even lower on Sandi:)_ It'll be _okay_, Sandi--you'll see. _(Sandi looks up at Helen, her mascara running, but smiles a little, which Helen returns)_ Hmm--maybe--maybe they'll _question_ why we haven't arrived at _Chez Pierre_ for our reservations.

JAKE: _(Starts to smile:) Heeey_, that's _right_! They'll call our home, and wonder _where_ we are, and Daria and Darren will eventually call the _cops_ when we're reported _missing_!

QUINN: _(Perks up, gasps:) Yeah_! They do that _all_ the time when people don't show up! _I_ ought to know!

SANDI: _(Perks up as well:)_ Like, it's _possible_, right?

At that moment, one of the masked men came in.

MAN: Sorry to _burst_ your _"bubble"_, but we just _abruptly_ called and _cancelled_ your reservations to _Chez Pierre_. Remember, you told _"Mr. Smith"_ where you wanted to go after you "met" him.

HELEN: _(Angered:)_ You certainly can't believe you can keep us here, and no one would _notice_ that we're _gone_, do you? We're _well known_ around Lawndale!

MAN: Lady, if things go well, we'll be _gone_ by _midnight_ from here, and you guys can go _home_, and it won't matter what _anybody_ around here does. All we need is a few _hours_--now, _pipe down. (Shuts door)_

Everyone grew quiet--so much for _that_ idea.

_(Scene changes to the Morgendorffer's, the same time)_

Daria was sitting on the right couch, and Jane and Darren were sitting together on the left couch, sharing popcorn and watching _Sick, Sad World_. On the TV was that familiar woman with the British accent talking to a dirt farmer with a country twang in a potato field.

INTERVIEWER: And you say that the ground _swallowed_ you up _whole_?

INTERVIEWEE: That there's _right_, ma'am--I was trying to collect my crop of potatoes, an' then I fell into another _world_ that had _underground_ people in it!

DARIA: _(Offscreen:) Jules Verne_, take a _bow. (Darren is heard chuckling)_

JANE: _(Offscreen:)_ I wonder if he's found that huge lost nugget of _gold_ in the center of the earth? _(Darren is now heard laughing harder)_

DARIA: _(Offscreen:)_ If he did, do you think _"Ol' MacDonald"_ there would _still_ be a farmer?

JANE: _(Offscreen:)_ Good point.

DARREN: _(Offscreen, gets in on the "action":)_ Hey, I thought _"MacDonald"_ there was giving out _"Happy Meals"_ while singing _"Icebox Woman"_.

DARIA: _(Offscreen:)_ Oh, he _still_ does, bro--this is just his _part_ time job--_someone_ has to grow those potatoes where the fries come from. It's the _only_ good thing about _"Mickey D's"_ left. _(Darren is heard laughing again)_

JANE: _(After a moment, offscreen:)_ Uh--you guys have now completely _lost_ me.

The doorbell then rang. Daria was about to get up, but Darren got up instead.

DARREN: Relax, sis--I'll get it--you two continue your _"reviews"_ of the show. _(Goes to the door)_

JANE: _(Leans over to Daria, low voice, smirks:)_ Darren could probably _buy_ that nugget of gold, you know.

DARIA: _(Smirks back:)_ Either that, or he'd pay an _expedition_ to go and _get_ it so he could have it himself. _(Reaches over and gets some popcorn)_

Darren opened the door and saw the _same_ courier that brought he and his birth family the _first_ DNA results (his name is _"Luthor"_, remember). Luthor had a white envelope, and presented it to him.

LUTHOR: Hello--are you _Darren Coverton_?

Darren _froze_--who knew he was using his "phony" last name here other than his aunt Millie, uncle Will, Curtis, Elenor, and Claude? Could it have been one of _them_? Wouldn't they have just _called_ him if--

LUTHOR: _(Snaps him out of his thoughts:)_ Sir, are you Darren Coverton?

DARREN: Eh? Oh, uh, yes, I _suppose_ I am. _(Takes envelope, signs:)_ Thank you--_(starts to reach for his wallet)_

LUTHOR: _(Backs up, holds up his hands, smirks:)_ Oh, no you don't--I'm not gonna _fall_ for that _trick_ again! _(Takes off, jumps in his truck, and drives off)_

DARREN: _(Stares after him, closes the door:)_ There's _no_ doubt about it now--most of these people _are_ crazy around here. _(Looks down at envelope, then opens it, takes a letter out, and reads it)_

Dear Mr. "Coverton":   
As of this moment, your birth family and girlfriend are being held at a place called the **Carter County Bay Warehouse District**--you should be **familiar** with hearing that--it was used to **lure** them there. If you want to see them alive, then come **alone** right now, and **immediately**--tell no one. No police, of course. If a siren is as so much as even **heard**--fire, and ambulance, even--your family and girlfriend are **dead**. We're also **watching** for any **suspicious** activity as well--if we see anyone that even **looks** like a law enforcement officer, your family and girlfriend are **dead**. Surely you wouldn't want to lose **them** like you did your **adopted** parents, would you? We think not. We assume that you probably have a **map** of the entire area of Lawndale to get there, so you shouldn't have any **trouble** in finding where we are. You have **20** minutes to find where it's at. We're waiting, now--the clock is **ticking**. See you then. 

Darren turned _pale_, shocked, and his heart _raced_ with fear. _You **fool**--you should have known--that place, wherever it was, was **out** of the way! If they die, it's **your** fault!_ The killer or killers had _found_ Darren, but instead of going after _him_, they did the _worst_ possible thing--they _kidnapped_ Helen, Jake, Quinn, and--and--his _girlfriend_? He looked over at Jane. _**She's** my girlfriend. Who were they talking about?_ Darren frowned for a second, then came to a realization--_Sandi Griffin_ had to be the _"girlfriend"_--she was to go along with the Morgendorffers tonight, but _why_ would they think _she_ was his girlfriend? Darren now figured that someone _was_ watching him all of this time, though he couldn't be sure how long it had been going on--perhaps since he _first_ got here? He looked over at Daria and Jane, who were _absorbed_ into the _Sick, Sad World_ show. _Thank God they weren't caught. I'll have to leave them out of this._ It was at that moment that Daria looked over at Darren, and spoke.

DARIA: Who was that, bro?

DARREN: _(Frantic, scrambles for an excuse:)_ It--was--someone asking for _directions_, that's all.

JANE: _(Now looks as well:)_ Hey, why didn't you just ask one of _us_, Darren? We could've told them--

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ --To go to _hell_, that is. _(Jane chuckles)_

DARREN: _(Waves them off:)_ No, no--it was to a place that I'm _familiar_ with--er, _Dega Street_--besides, you guys were really into _Sick, Sad World_, and I didn't want to disturb you. _(Pauses:)_ Er, will you two _excuse_ me for a moment? I've got to run upstairs and use the--uh, _bathroom. (Suddenly rushes up the stairs)_

Daria and Jane looked at each other, perplexed.

JANE: _(Arched eyebrow:)_ Boy, he must really have to go _badly_, huh?

DARIA: _(Turns back to the TV:)_ This ep would want to make _anybody_ go the can. _(Jane chuckles, and resumes watching the TV with Daria)_

Darren rushed into his room, and grabbed his keys and the map of Lawndale he had used on his jogs when he first came. He then turned back, and hurried out. He stopped at the top of the stairs and slowly came down them, watching carefully to see if Daria or Jane would notice him. When he saw that they were once again absorbed in the TV, he looked at both of them _longingly_ for a moment--wondering for a moment if this would be the _last_ time he saw them, then quietly slipped out of the front door, and rushed to his car. He got in, put the key into the ignition, shifted his car into neutral, and _coasted_ the car into the street, so as not to let either of the girls hear the car, and started it up, slowly accelerating down the street.

Ernie, who had watched the scene from in the gray Camry down the street, immediately dialed on his cell phone after starting up his car, and started to follow Darren from a distance. The sky had grown _very_ dark, and it had began to rain.

ERNIE: _(Grins:)_ Boss? Your _"nephew's"_ on his way, and he's as _agitated_ as you thought he'd be.

WILLIAM: Let the "show" begin!

_(Scene changes to the warehouse)_

William clicked off his cell phone, and got out of his minivan, which was located _inside_ one of the warehouses along with some other vehicles and equipment, including now the Morgendorffer's blue Lexus. The lighting was dim inside the large bay, which was almost ringed by a railed, wide ledge located about twenty feet in the air. The rain was heard outside, pelting the roof. There were occasional bursts of thunder and lightning intermingled with the rain, and some wind as well. One of the men came into the bay, and took off his mask--it was _Benny Lodell_. He came up beside William, who was now looking over a very-nervous Sam Norwood's legal paperwork concerning forcing Darren to give up the Appleton conglomerate on a makeshift "desk", a long, old board suspended between two old barrels.

WILLIAM: Hmph--everything _seems_ to be in order on my final check on these legal documents here, Norwood.

NORWOOD: T-thank you, Boss. _(Wipes his forehead with a hankerchief:)_ I-I'll be glad when this is _over_.

WILLIAM: _(Looks up from the files:)_ Eh? Something wrong, Norwood?

NORWOOD: _(Gulps, then goes on:)_ W-well, Boss--are you _sure_ we should _do_ this? I mean, I don't think _much_ of Darren Appleton either, b-but _murder_?

WILLIAM: _(Scowls with Benny:)_ Where in the _hell_ did _this_ come from, Norwood? Are you beginning to have _second_ thoughts about this?

NORWOOD: _(Frantic:) N-no_ sir! I-I'm just wondering if there wasn't _another_ way we could've _handled_ this, that's all! I-I've never been _directly_ involved in a murder before, Boss.

BENNY: _(Snickers, rolls his eyes:) Never_--? You're _kidding_, right? You represented _Mafia_ figures for _years_! Surely you _had_ to have known they were _involved_ in killing people who didn't pay them _"protection"_ money, or had gone after their _rivals_!

NORWOOD: W-well, I didn't want to _know_ if they did, so I kind of put it in the _back_ of my _mind_ and just thought of them as my _"clients"_.

WILLIAM: _(Wicked smile, pats Norwood on the back:)_ And you _sold out_ your _soul_ in the process, you old _dog_! _(Norwood sighs, and looks down)_ Well, _tough_--you're in this as _deep_ as we are, Norwood, so _shape up--(smile leaves William's face, replaced by an intense glare:) got_ that?

NORWOOD: _(Draws back, cowers:)_ Y-yessir, Boss, y-you can _count_ on me, sir!

WILLIAM: _(Wicked smug:) Good_--I wouldn't want you to end up like _Sanchez. (Norwood trembles with fear)_

The other two masked men came into the bay area from the outside thru a garage-sized metal door, soaking wet. Both took off their masks to reveal _Bert_ and _Oscar_. William scowled at Oscar.

WILLIAM: Oscar! Why aren't you outside watching for my _"nephew"_? 

OSCAR: But Boss--it's coming down _cats and dogs_ out there!

William stared at Oscar stoically for a moment, then suddenly pulled out _his_ gun from a holster he had around his shoulder and waist, and pointed it at _Oscar_, who backed up in fear. Bert backed away from Oscar.

WILLIAM: Get _out_ there and watch for my _"nephew"_, or the _next_ thing that'll be _"coming down"_ in _here_ will be your _blood_! Got that?

OSCAR: _(Backing up, wide-eyed:)_ Y-yessir! _(Goes back through the door)_

Benny, Norwood, and Bert looked at each other warily. The _"Boss"_ was playing for _keeps_, even to those who worked _with_ him--best not to _"upset the apple cart"_--or _William_ himself. William watched Oscar leave, then put the gun back in its place.

WILLIAM: _(Turns back to Benny, low voice:)_ You've got to make sure you mean _business_ when it comes to _"those people"_, Benny--otherwise, they'll take you for all that you're _worth_.

BENNY: _(Blinks foolishly:)_ Y-yessir.

WILLIAM: _(Resumes normal tone of voice, slaps his hands suddenly together, startles the others:) Well_! Let's prepare to _meet_ my _"nephew"_, eh? _(Smirks wickedly, sneers:)_ I can't _wait_ to see Darren's _face_ when he finds out who killed his dear _"parents". (Walks back to the minivan, rummages through the icebox, gets a bottle of water and drinks it)_

_(Scene changes to the Morgendorffer's, the same time)_

Daria clicked off the TV with the remote when _Sick, Sad World_ went off, while Jane got up to stretch. Daria looked at her watch.

DARIA: Hey, we've got another _hour_ before Mystik Spiral arrives at _McGrudy's. (Looks up:)_ Where in the hell is _Darren_? He's taking a mighty _long_ time in the bathroom--_(slight concern:)_ you don't think he's _ill_ or something?

JANE: _(Smirks, mocking tone:) Awww_--is _"widdle sister"_ worried about her _"big brudder-wudder"_? _(Shrugs while Daria frowns at her:)_ Hey, he could be up in his room calling one of his _friends_, or something.

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ I guess--let's go upstairs and find out when he wants to go.

Daria and Jane were about to go up the stairs when the doorbell rang. Daria opened the door and saw a burly Asian-American man with two other men standing behind him in the rain.

DARIA: _(Eyebrow cocked:) Yeess_?

MAN: _(Reaches into his coat lapel, shows I.D.:)_ Good evening, miss--my name is _Gerald Woo_, and I'm a detective--is Darren er, _Coverton_ here?

Daria and Jane looked at each other, surprised.

DARIA: Gerald Woo--the _detective_ that my bro hired to find my family?

WOO: _(Eyebrows raised:)_ He _told_ you about me? _(Both girls nod)_ Oh well, I shouldn't be surprised, I suppose--and the name is just _Woo. (Motions to his men behind him:)_ This is _Leroy_ and _David_. I wanted to know if we could _speak_ to him, Miss--

DARIA: _Daria Morgendorffer_. Call me _"Daria"_.

JANE: _Jane Lane_. Call me _"Jane"_.

LEROY: _(Shivers with David:)_ Uh, Woo? It's kind of getting _wet_ out here--?

WOO: Eh? Oh, of course--may we--?

DARIA: _(Stands aside with Jane:)_ C'mon into the living room--I'll call Darren. _(Goes to the bottom of the stairs shouts up:)_ Hey, Darren--you've got _company_! _(Pauses, no response:) Darren_?! Hmmm. Would you all excuse me for a sec? Make yourselves at home. _(Goes up stairs)_

WOO: Thank you, Daria. _(Takes off coat with the others, hangs them on a coat rack in the living room near the door)_

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ Caught out in the rain _without_ an umbrella, eh?

WOO: I'm afraid so, Jane--we just came across the _country_ from your airport--we didn't know about the forcast for rain, or we would've had hats and umbrellas.

JANE: _(Cocks an eyebrow:) Across_ the country? Where'd you guys come from?

DAVID: _Los Angeles_.

WOO: Yes, you see--

Daria _hurried_ back down the stairs, interrupting Woo's talk, and immediately went to the front door while drawing perplexed looks from everyone, and gave a brief look-see outside, quickly shutting the door back, more from _confirmation_ than the driving rainstorm outside. She then came back into the living room, puzzled.

JANE: Daria? What's up? Where's Darren?

DARIA: That's what _I'd_ like to know. He's _not_ upstairs, and his car's _gone. (Woo and his men look at each other)_

JANE: _Gone_? You mean he's not here? _(Daria gives her a look that says, "Duh", which Jane does not notice)_ Why would he _leave_ all of a sudden like that? _(Pauses:)_ And for _that_ matter, why not tell _us_? This doesn't make any _sense_ at all.

Woo was about to say something when the phone on the coffee table rang. Daria picked it up and clicked it on.

DARIA: Hello?

VOICE: _(Sounding snooty:)_ Yes, is this the _Morgendorffer_ residence?

DARIA: People _live_ here by that name, yes.

VOICE: This is _Chez Pierre_--when you _abruptly_ cancelled your dinner reservations for tonight, you got off the phone so _fast_, you forgot to _reschedule. (Daria frowns, perplexed)_ We certainly don't want to _lose_ such _valuable_ customers--particularly a _Quinn Morgendorffer_. Does she _live_ there as well?

DARIA: _Unfortunately_, yes--_(pauses:)_ er, we'll have to get _back_ with you on that rescheduling, okay?

VOICE: Of course--thank you, and have a _pleasant_ evening. _(Hangs up)_

DARIA: _(Clicks off the phone:)_ That _depends_. I just received some _very_ interesting information. The reservations my parents had at _Chez Pierre_ were suddenly _cancelled. (Jane raises an eyebrow, while Woo and his men look at each other again)_ Why wouldn't my parents _call_ us and say anything?

JANE: Maybe they went somewhere _else_ at the last second, because their meeting with this _"Smith"_ guy went a little _too_ long, and they decided to eat somewhere _else_? Remember, your parents thought we were going to _McGrundy's_, so they probably assumed we'd be _gone_ by now, and didn't _bother_ to call us?

DARIA: _(Ponders:)_ Maybe--but that still doesn't explain _Darren's_ absence from our premises.

WOO: _(Steps up:)_ Uh, excuse me, but _who_ is this _"Smith"_ fellow?

DARIA: He's some guy that called my parents late last night, and wanted them to see some _dumb_ "product" he _invented_, or something. Both of them thought it was some sort of _"incredible good fortune"_ to make some _serious_ money. My mom claimed he was a quote, _"aspiring inventor that **inherited** a rather **large** amount of **money** from a **dead** relative"--_

WOO: _(Cuts her off, urgent tone, put his hands on her shoulders:) --"Inherited money from a dead relative"_? Are you _sure_ about this, Daria?

DARIA: _(Looks uncomfortablely at Woo's hand's:)_ Umm--_yeeees_--what does that mean?

WOO: It could mean that your brother and your family are in _deadly_ danger, Daria. _(Daria and Jane look shocked) Where_ is this _"place"_ your parents are suppose to meet this _"Smith"_ fellow?

DARIA: _(Recovers:)_ At a bunch of old warehouses that comprise an area we call the _Carter County Bay Warehouse District_ near Lawndale--it's almost in the middle of _"Nowheresville"_.

WOO: _(Grabs his coat:)_ Come on, gentlemen--let's go--_(David and Leroy grab their coats)_

JANE: _(After glancing at Daria, frowns:)_ Hey, just one _damn_ minute! What in the _hell_ is going on?! You tell us that Darren and Daria's family is in _"deadly danger"_, and then you just _cut out_ on us?!

WOO: _(Opens the front door, David and Leroy rush out:)_ I'm sorry, Jane, but we can't _explain_ right now--_(starts to leave)_

DARIA: --Um, before you go, you're gonna need to _know_ something--

WOO: _(Rushed:)_ --What's that, Daria?

DARIA: _How_ are you gonna _get_ there if you don't know _where_ it is? _(Jane smirks at Woo)_

Woo paused, sighed, and motioned to the front door, and Daria and Jane started to go out.

WOO: Aren't you going to get a _coat_ or something?

DARIA: Nah--_we_ can survive the _rain_--I'm more worried about my _family_ and _bro_ surviving if you're right about them being in _"deadly danger"_.

WOO: Very well. _(Follows Daria and Jane out through the heavy rain to the rental car, gets in the back with Daria and Jane)_

As David was backing out of the driveway, Jane turned to Woo.

JANE: Just out of curiousity--does this have anything to do with Darren's _real_ last name of _"Appleton"_?

WOO: _(Shocked with his men:)_ Y-you _know_ about Darren's real last name?

DARIA: Yeah--we found out about it this morning, but we didn't say _anything_ to him--we figured _"Arthur Appleton Jr."_ wanted to have some _privacy_ before he told us who he really was, and after everything he's gone through with his adopted parents and dead fiancee, we didn't want to _add_ to his _"woes"_ by asking him certain--_questions_.

Woo grew quiet, and he glanced at his men. Daria and Jane watched them, intrigued.

WOO: _(Sighs:)_ Despite all that you've just told me, that's only a _small_ part of it, Daria, Jane--while you're directing us to this place, I'll give you two the _full_ story of _why_ Darren did what he did. _(Daria and Jane look at each other, then listen as Woo begins his story)_

_(Scene changes to Darren's car, the same time)_

The thoughts were flowing through Darren's mind at an _incredible_ pace, almost as fast as his _heart_ rate as he was driving through the heavy rain. His parents and _gi--Sandi_ were held hostage by the _same_ people who had _killed_ his parents through Sanchez. He frowned and clenched his teeth--if they did _anything_ to his family--_easy, Darren--they want **you**, not them, only using them as **bait** to get to you--you **hope**._ If there was anything _good_ in any of this _nightmare_, it was at least he'd get to _see_ who hired Sanchez. _Who_ would it be? It _had_ to be someone at Appleton, but _why_ go after his _family_? Why not _him_?

Darren stopped at an intersection, and snatched his map of Lawndale up to look at where this _"Carter County Bay Warehouse District"_ was. He was sure he was going in the _right_ direction as he traced his finger along the route, then turned left. Darren glanced at his watch--there were _10_ minutes remaining. He held back his _fear_ that if he didn't get there in time, that they'd--_no, don't think about that, keep going._ He absentmindedly caught a glimpse of a lighted billboard on the side of the road as he was driving by it. It said:

"Get Mental In the Morning" on Zee-93! Catch The news, weather, and sports at 11:30 a.m. on the radio with Sal "Our Pal" Benidino! 

_(Note to reader: Of course, the "Zee-93" radio station comes from the ep "Jake of Hearts")_

Darren's thoughts suddenly _froze. 11:30_. Why did that time seem so _familiar_? The flashbacks then began to run through his mind:

He had been called at _11:30 p.m._ that _hellish_ night, and being told of the crash.

The NTSB spokesman had said:

_"Now the jet with Arthur and Lucille Appleton and the crew went off the radar screen at about **11:25 p.m. E.D.T., 9:25 M.D.T.**, and the wreckage was not located until around **12:00 a.m. E.D.T.**, 10:00 p.m. M.D.T., then around **12:15 a.m. E.D.T.**, 10:15 p.m. M.D.T., the **first** reports came in that the plane had crashed, based on..."_

It all _hit_ him at once--Darren tried to hold back the _tears of sadness, shock_, and _rage_ that were threatening to _explode_ from his eyes while still driving. It couldn't be _him_--it just _couldn't_ be. Darren was beginning to _trust_ him, and he had played him for a _fool_.

_(Scene changes to the room where Helen, Jake, Quinn, and Sandi are being held)_

Quinn and Sandi were trying to deal with the situation as best as they could by talking about and comparing the latest _fashion styles_, while Helen and Jake were quietly contemplating to themselves, with Helen thinking about Daria and Darren, secretly relieved that they were at least at _McGrundy's_, and not here, while Jake was thinking about--about--well, just _thinking_. Helen broke his train of thought when she spoke in a very low _nervous_ whisper, so as not to _alarm_ Quinn or Sandi.

HELEN: Jake?

JAKE: Hmm--oh, huh, Helen?

HELEN: _What_ were you thinking about, sweetie? You seem so _quiet_.

JAKE: Uh, ah, _nothing_ in particular, honey. My mind was in a _blank. (Pauses:)_ What were _you_ thinking about?

Helen thought about answering, but decided that there was _enough_ tension in the air--why _add_ to it?

HELEN: _(Sighs, looks down:) Nothing_, dear--like you, I was thinking of--nothing.

Outside, Darren's car pulled up to the old warehouses in the downpour. A throughly _drenched_ Oscar, who was stationed on the roof on the middle warehouse, started to call on his (waterproofed) cell phone.

OSCAR: _(Shouts in the cell phone over the rain:)_ Boss?! He's _here_!

WILLIAM: Good. Is he _alone_?

Oscar looked through the wind-driven rain to the surrounding woods as best he could.

OSCAR: None that I can see, Boss--he's _alone_! _(Pauses:)_ Boss, can't I come _down_ now?! I think I'm catching a _cold_!

WILLIAM: Oh, very _well_--taking into consideration my _"nephew's"_ martial art _abilities_, another body might not be a _bad_ idea. You may come down, Oscar.

OSCAR: _(Relieved:)_ Thanks, Boss! _(Starts to go down by a door on the roof)_

Darren got out of his car through the heavy rain. As soon as he did, he saw a garage-sized door from the middle warehouse slide open. After a momentary pause, he slowly walked towards it, and into the warehouse.

As the soggy-Darren came into the warehouse, the door suddenly slid shut behind him, and he found himself in almost _total_ darkness and silence, save for a small _spotlight_ in the middle of the warehouse, and the sound of the rain outside. In the middle of the spotlight was a simple wooden _chair_. Darren walked towards the spotlighted chair, and when he had come into the spotlight, he suddenly _shouted_ in a _rage_, his face filled with _fury_.

DARREN: _(Looks around:)_ Come on out, _Uncle Will_! I know you had _something_ to do with _killing_ my parents! Didn't you?! _(Pauses:) DIDN'T YOU_?!

The spotlight widened a bit more to show a _calm_ William standing near the edge of the darkness.

WILLIAM: _(In a calm tone:) Well. (Pauses:)_ How'd you _figure_ it out? For a while, _"nephew"_, I thought I had _overestimated_ you.

DARREN: _(With a look of pure **hate**, glares, through clenched teeth:)_ Call it a sudden _"revelation"_. You called me at _11:30 p.m._ the night my parents were killed. The NTSB reported that the plane went off of their radar at _11:25 p.m._ Eastern Daylight Time, and it wasn't until _12:15 a.m._ that the _first_ reports came in that the plane had crashed. _(Begins to grow furious, frowns deeply:) How_ could you have known JUST _FIVE_ MINUTES AFTER THAT THE PLANE HAD CRASHED, UNCLE WILL?! THE NTSB DIDN'T KNOW FOR SURE UNTIL 12:15 A.M.!

William simply gave a _cool_ look at Darren, then broke out in a _slow_ grin.

WILLIAM: _(Smug, playful tone:) Ooops--silly me_--I guess I should've waited a bit _longer_ to call and tell you the news. Well, you know, Darren, that's a _good_ question, and there's a good _explanation_ for it--_(chuckles:)_ you see--

DARREN: _(Cuts him off, enraged beyond words:)_ --YOU THINK THIS IS SOME SORT OF A DAMN _JOKE_, UNCLE WILL?! YOU _BASTARD_! YOU KILLED MY PARENTS! YOU KILLED YOUR _OWN_ BROTHER, AND MY MOTHER! I'M GOING TO--_(starts to rush towards William)_

At the next instant, Benny, Ernie, a soaking-wet Oscar, and Bert stepped into the spotlight with their guns _drawn_ and pointed in a circle _at_ Darren, who stopped when he saw them. William simply kept his composure, then suddenly gave Darren a _very_ deep scowl, and spoke.

WILLIAM: _(In a cold, low, dangerous tone:)_ Let's get something _straight_ from the get-go, _"nephew"_--all of the damn _"kung-fu"_ in the _world_ won't save you from a _bullet_. I'd strongly suggest that you _remember_ that. Now, sit down in the chair.

Darren looked around at the guns, then back at his uncle, glaring, and not moving.

WILLIAM: _(In a more forceful tone:)_ I-said-_SIT_-down. _(Darren then moves slowly to the chair, and lowers himself unto it, all the while glaring at William)_ Good. Benny, grab the _rope_ and tie him up good and tight. _(Benny vanishes into the darkness while the others keep their guns pointed at Darren, then comes back and starts to tie Darren's arms and legs to the chair with the rope)_

DARREN: _(While Benny does the tying:) Benny Lodell_--why aren't I _surprised_? Want to give me a _reason_ why you _hate_ me so much?

BENNY: _(Smirks, sneers:)_ Sure--why the _hell_ not? I worked my _ass_ off in the _salt mines_ of the mailrooms and offices, while you ate _cavier_, took _sailing_ jaunts and _hobnobbed_ with your _rich_ friends living a _lie_, though I didn't know it until last year. _Mr._ Appleton here had taken me under his _wing_, and gave me a _chance_ to become _important_. When he found out what had transpired at that resort in the Keys, it _changed_ him--made him more _focused_--and _determined. (Pulls the rope deliberately tighter on Darren's arm, makes Darren flinch in pain:)_ Oh, did I make you feel _uncomfortable_? I'm _so_ sorry.

After about a minute, Benny finished up and backed away from Darren, giving him a _contemptable_ look, and Darren more than giving him one back in kind. William then came up to Darren.

WILLIAM: _(In his cold, calm voice:)_ Now, as I was saying before I was so _rudely_ interrupted, there's a _good_ explanation for it--you see, I hired Sanchez to install a _very_ small device within the _inside_ of the fuel valve that was _set_ to go off at a _specified_ time. I found out from your _"father"_ that he and your _"mother"_ were going to use that plane a day after it had been serviced at Los Angeles International, then to LaGuardia, then flown to the local airport near the mansion. _(Darren looks apalled as William continues)_ The device is something of _my_ creation, while _secretly_ using our _Technology Division's_ technological know how. The device was about a little smaller than the radius of a _dime_, and just a _tad_ thicker than one. It had a tiny _timer_ on it, and get this--_(grins sinisterly:)_ a tiny _sac_ of some _very special corrosive acid_ contained within it, too. The acid was _released_ on the fuel valve that was connected to the fuel pump when the time expired, creating a hole _juuust_ big enough to allow the fuel to escape _damn_, it's _scary_ how far we've come in _creating_ things this _advanced_, isn't it? _(Darren simply looks at him, silent)_ I'll admit it was _touch-and-go_ there for awhile, _"nephew"_, not knowing if your _"parents"_ would go at the last second, or such, but fortunately, they _did. (Darren now looks at his uncle hard, stunned at his reserved nature while casually explaining. William continues:)_ Do you realize it took a good _six_ months to get such a device worked out to my _specifications_? Benny and I pulled some _long_ hours in designing it just right, _(Benny smirks wickedly)_ but in the end, we hit the _jackpot_.

DARREN: _(Looks at his uncle sadly, shakes his head slowly in disbelief, weak, shaky voice:)_ W-why, Uncle Will, _why_?

William gave Darren an _incredulous_ look, as if his _"nephew"_ had lost his _mind_.

WILLIAM: You're _kidding_, right? Tell me you're _kidding_?

DARREN: _(Suddenly red-faced, strains to get out of his ropes at William, screams:)_ DO I _LOOK_ LIKE I'M KIDDING, UNCLE WILL?! WHY DID YOU DO IT?!

WILLIAM: _(Narrows his eyes, cold voice:)_ Why do you _think, "nephew"_?! For the _power_, my boy, for the power! _(Adds in a nonchalant manner, looks at the back of his hand cooly:)_ I wouldn't just kill your _"father"_ and _"mother"_ for _nothing_, you know--I _had_ to have a _reason_.

DARREN: _(Tries to calm himself:)_ L-let me see if I _understand_ this correctly--y-you killed my parents just so you could _take over_ the conglomerate? B-but--

WILLIAM: --_You_ were chosen to head the conglomerate _instead_? _(Frowns:)_ Yes, I know--of course, at the time, I _didn't_ know that they had chosen _you_--what _idiots. (Darren glares at William with daggers) Why_ did you think I was so _upset_ at the reading of the business will when your _"da-da"_ choose _you_? I _assumed_ that _I_ would take over after he and his wife died--I couldn't just kill Arthur Sr. _alone_, you see--I also had to kill _Lucille_ to _ensure_ that I could take over--no need for _her_ to step into his shoes after he died. Imagine my _surprise_ and _anger_ when your parents chose _you_ to become Chairman. _(Snorts:)_ I guess my brother and sister-in-law had the last _laugh_ on me, eh? Anyway, I immediately began of thinking of _new_ ways to _eliminate_ you down the road when you _shocked_ me, my boy. You chose _me_ to head the conglomerate--quite the _ironic_ thing, don't you think? Choosing your _"parents" killer_ to take over in their stead? I couldn't _believe_ my good luck. You should be _grateful_, Darren--when you chose _me_, you _extended_ your _life_. In fact, if you had simply turned over _everything_ to me then and there on a _permanent_ basis, I had actually _seriously_ considered in letting you _live_ out of _gratitude_ for your _"seeing the light"_ in letting me take over--_(frowns:) "letting"_ me, mind you, as if I was some sort of _damn temporary caretaker_ after all the years and _hard_ work I put into this company, but _noooo_--you had to get _nosy_, and hire _Woo_ to do some _snooping_ behind the crash after he had found your _real_ family. _(Pauses, considers:)_ I should have recommended someone a little more _incompetent_ to assist you in finding your birth parents, Darren, but, oh well--_"hindsight is 20-20"_, and such--

DARREN: _(Shakes with fury, clenched teeth, looks down:)_ I can't believe I was such a _fool--(Benny mouths, "That you were")_ I knew you were _ambitious_, Uncle Will, even _harsh_ in business, but-but, _this_--?

WILLIAM: _(Draws his face close to Darren's, narrows eyes:)_ Actually, there's a _deeper_ reason as to why I did all of this, _"nephew"_. Do you want to know? _(Adds:)_ I mean, _really_ want to know?

DARREN: _(After a pause, glares:)_ For _some_ reason, _no_ I don't, but I think you'll tell me _anyway_, so _knock_ yourself out.

William gave a sharp laugh out loud.

WILLIAM: _That's_ the _spirit_, my boy--give me some of that _fire_! All right, here goes--you remember when I told you about the _stockholder's meeting_ in the Florida Keys last year at the mansion, you know, the part about when I told you that your _"father"_ told me about your being _adopted_? Well, I _lied. (Darren says nothing, narrows eyes)_ I _overheard_ your _"ma-ma"_ tell Millie that you were adopted on the beach one night while we were there. I think you were actually gone with your _"father"_ and _Stephanie_ to attend some _party_, or something, I can't remember. Well, anyway, I was just walking on the beach alone after I had spent some time with a female, er, _"colleague"_, when I happened to stumble upon dear Lucille's _"confession"_ near some palm trees. I hid behind a nearby sand dune while she talked. _(Sneers while Benny chuckles:)_ The poor dear was _devastated_, I can tell you that. Lucille talked to Millie about _how_ you came to be adopted while she and Arthur Sr. were out for that _glorious_ year they put _me_ in charge, and about the _Barnes Adoption Agency_. Well, you can imagine how _stunned_ I was when I heard it, then I started to become _angry_ over the _lie_ your parents had given us after all of these years. _(Pauses:)_ In a way, it made a certain amount of _sense_ when I thought about it. _(Darren looks at William, baffled)_ I mean, I always thought you were a little out of _place_ as I observed you growing up, Darren--and not just from the fact that you didn't _look_ like your _"parents"_, oh no. You seemed--_(searches for words:)_ oh, like you didn't have that certain _confident_ air about yourself as an Appleton, as if you were little _unsure_ of yourself for some reason, as if you felt you didn't _belong_--and that made me _resent_ you somehow--that and the fact that you were the _heir_ to the fortune and the conglomerate. I seriously thought about _blackmailing_ your _"parents"_ by _demanding_ the chairmanship from Arthur Sr., even _investigating_ myself on how you came about to be adopted, but I didn't want to take a _chance_ on being _exposed_--I figured _you'd_ give me the lowdown on how you were _cursed_ into coming into our family--oh, and the fact that your _"daddy"_ and _"mommy"_ were considered such _"saints"_ by every DAMN one, I was afraid that the Board and the stockholders would _sympathize_ with _them_, and make _me_ the _bad_ guy for exposing their secret--which I guess I _am_ now, _(frowns, bitter tone:)_ as I've _always_ been in my life--God only _knows_ what I did to _please_ your _"so-called"_ grandfather, but in _his_ eyes, Arthur Sr. could do _no_ wrong while we were growing up. Don't tell me you didn't _feel_ like an _outsider_ at times--in fact you _told_ me _yourself_ a very long time ago when you were about _seven_ years old. I'm sure you _don't_ remember--

Darren looked away, shocked, and wide-eyed, then spoke in a _whisper_.

DARREN: _(Cuts him off:)_ --I _do_ remember, Uncle Will--I remember an _argument_ my parents had one night in the study--it was a _terrible_ one about _me_, that's how I could still remember it. _(Frowns, ponders:)_ My mother seemed about to say something concerning _me_ to my father when I came into the study to ask what was going on--I was--_crying_ because they were doing so, and I blamed _myself_ for some reason. They stopped arguing immediately, and my mother _hugged_ me, telling me that she and my dad's argument had _nothing_ to do with me--I _didn't_ quite believe her, though.

BENNY: _(Faux sympathy, sneers:) Awww_--how _touching_--did _"mommy"_ make the _"pain"_ go away? _(Snickers come from everyone but William, while Darren glares at Benny)_

WILLIAM: _(Now smirks, faux admonishment:)_ Now, now Benny--my poor, poor _"nephew's"_ in enough _"hot water"_ as it is--no need to _rub_ it in. (Ahem) I remember you coming to me the very next day when your _"father"_ had some business to conduct at the office, Darren, and he took you along like he _usually_ did at times on the job. You told me of your _confusion_ about the argument, and I really tried to be the _"caring"_ uncle--I went to Arthur Sr., and he _assured_ me that nothing was _amiss--(pauses:)_ obviously, the _bastard_ lied to me, _(Darren scowls)_ just as _Lucille_ did, and to everyone _else_ after all of these years. _(Looks at Darren stoically:)_ Your entire _existence_ as an Appleton was a _lie_, Darren.

DARREN: _(Wide-eyed, stunned beyond belief:)_ How can you _say_ that, Uncle Will? I was _raised_ as an Appleton! I _feel_--

WILLIAM: _(Cuts him off, gets in Darren's face:)_ --DON'T TELL ME ABOUT WHAT YOU "FEEL", BOY! _(Pauses, tries to put his anger under control:)_ How-_DARE_-you say that you're an Appleton? You weren't _born_ as one! You don't have the _blood_! You were _conceived_ by a _career-driven_ lawyer who has always put her job _ahead_ of her family, and an _idiotic_ career-driven father who was called a _"sissy-wimp"_ by his _domineering_ military daddy, and sent off to military school because of it! _(Darren grits his teeth in hidden fury at his uncle)_ Face it, _"nephew" (leans over almost face-to-face to Darren, emphasizes each word:) --you-were-**never**-an-Appleton_!

DARREN: _(Shouts:)_ THAT'S NOT TRUE, UNCLE WILL! I _AM_ AN APPLETON! THE _TAPE--(stops himself)_

WILLIAM: Oh _yes_--that _tape_ you have--the one where your _"parents"_ told you the _truth_ about your being adopted? _(Darren looks at William, surprised)_ In case you're wondering how I found out about it, _Millie_ told me about it. _(Pauses:) Where_ is it by the way?

DARREN: _(Looks down and away, sneers:)_ Gee, I don't know--did you check the planet _Pluto_, Uncle? _(Benny takes a step towards Darren, who looks at Benny with contempt, but William immediately motions for Benny to stop, which he does)_ I don't give a _damn_ about what you think, Uncle--I _am_ an Appleton.

WILLIAM: _(Grins, cool tone:)_ So you _say_, Darren, so you say--let's just _forget_ about the tape. Now, if's that's _true_ about your being an "Appleton", then why hadn't you _told_ your birth family of _who_ you really are, _before_ Woo told you of what he found out about Sanchez, eh? You had _ample_ opportunities to do so--maybe you were starting to feel _attached_ to your birth family, you know, getting a feeling of _familiarity_, of _belonging_ with them instead of with _us_? Maybe you were thinking of how they'd _react_ to you when they found out your _wealth_, and how _differently_ they'd think of you, dear boy? I took that into _consideration_ when I _filled_ your head on the notion that the _Morgendwillers_ might do just that when they found out who you were. _(Benny and the other captors of Darren think about **correcting** William, but chose **not** to do so out of **fear**)_

DARREN: _(Through clenched teeth:) Shut up_, Uncle Will--that's _enough_--in fact, I think I'm _more_ of an Appleton than _you_ are, because a _"true"_ Appleton would've _never_ done what you did! _(Pauses, realizes, while William scowls at him cooly:)_ You wanted me _out_ of the way trying to find the Morgendorffers to _consolidate_ your _power_, didn't you? That's why you transferred _Leonard_ and _Constance_, isn't it?

WILLIAM: _(Sighs:)_ Never let it be said that you can't see the _obvious_, Darren--_of course_ I did that! _(Pauses:)_ But now when I think about it, I'm not _finished_ with those two yet.

DARREN: _(Narrows his eyes:)_ What do you _mean_, Uncle Will?

WILLIAM: Here's what I mean, dear boy--I intend to _kill_ Leonard and Constance _later_ on down the road--probably like _you_ when we take your _dead_ body, and cause an _"accident"_. They had the _audacity_ to _challenge_ me--and believe you me, I _never_ forget a _challenge_ to _my_ authority. _(Looks off into space, glares:)_ It may take a _year_ or _two_, but they'll get _their's_.

Darren looked at William, _horrified_--his uncle was _two bricks short of a load_. It became all too clear to Darren that this man would _destroy_ anyone and anything that would get his way.

DARREN: You said you were going to _kill_ me, Uncle Will--why then did you _kidnap_ the Morgendorffers and Sandi Griffin? They have _nothing_ to do with _any_ of this! _I'm_ the one that you want! Leave them _out_ of it!

WILLIAM: _(Shrugs, faux concern:)_ I _tried_, Darren, I _really_ tried, but there was no _legal_ way to get you to turn over the _entire_ conglomerate otherwise--_you_ left me with no _other_ choice. Potter did such a _damn_ fine job with the paperwork--yet _another_ reason why he's got to taken _care_ of--that I _had_ to resort to this!

DARREN: You could have just gotten to _me_ instead of dragging them into this! _(Pauses, realizes:)_ And what about _aunt Millie_? _How_ are you going to _explain_ my death to her?

WILLIAM: Ah, but then, I had to make _sure_ you'd _cooperate_ with me, Darren. I had to ensure that you'd do what I told you _exactly_ to keep your birth family alive--and as for Millie, don't you _worry_ about her--_I'll_ be there to _console_ her in her grief.

DARREN: You _bastard--now_ I see--you want me to sign over _everything_ to you so you can show the _Board_ and the _shareholders_ my _"approval"_ for you to take over the company!

WILLIAM: _(Smiles:)_ --And to keep your birth family and girlfriend _alive_, don't forget that.

Darren sighed, then looked pointedly at his uncle.

DARREN: I'll _sign_--but only when the Morgendorffers and Sandi Griffin are released _first_.

WILLIAM: _(Raised eyebrows:)_ Why, Darren, don't you _trust_ me, dear boy?

Darren gave his uncle the _same_ incredulous look that William gave him after Darren had asked why William had killed Darren's parents. _Turnabout was fair play._

DARREN: _(Sneers:) "You're **kidding**, right? Tell me you're **kidding**?"_

WILLIAM: _(Laughs now:) Very good_, Darren--very good, indeed! I suppose you got me there! _(Suddenly grows serious:)_ Of course, you're going to _have_ to trust me--you have _no_ choice, _"nephew"._

Darren bit his lower lip, rapidly moving his eyes around, thinking of something, anything--he needed to buy some _time_, somehow. He hoped against hope that someone would figure out that his birth family and Sandi Griffin were _missing--right, and **Batman** would come in and make **short** work of his uncle and his goons_. He found the will to _chuckle_ to himself over that thought despite the situation--his sister's and Jane's _sarcasm_ was rubbing off on _him_--a least a _little_, anyway.

DARREN: _(Sighs:) All right_, Uncle Will, I'll _sign. (William and Benny smirk wickedly:)_ But I want to _examine_ the document _thoroughly_ myself--think of it as a _"last request"_ on my part.

WILLIAM: Fair enough. _(Turns toward the spotlight, looks up:) Norwood_! Get out from behind that _spotlight beam projector_ and get down here with that file!

Darren heard some grunts in the dark, like someone climbing down a _ladder_, a quick shuffle of some papers, then hurried footsteps that grew louder. _Sam Norwood_ timidly came out of the darkness holding a file about 30 seconds later, coming up beside William, gasping.

DARREN: _(Sardonic, rolls eyes:) More_ surprises--quite a _leap_ from representing Mafia figures to _murder_--hmm--now when I _think_ of it, it's more of a _short hop_ than a leap.

NORWOOD: _(Offended:) H-hey_! I'm _not_ the one wanting to _kill_ you, Mr. Appleton!

DARREN: _(Cocks an eyebrow:) Oh_, so it's _"Mr. Appleton"_ now, is it? I should be _flattered_, I guess-- _(pauses, scowls:)_ as if _that's_ going to _clear_ your _conscience_? _(Smirks:)_ Take a good _look_ around, Mr. Norwood--you're about to actually _join_ some _murderers_, and not just by _representing_ them anymore.

NORWOOD: _(Frowns:) S-shut up_!

WILLIAM: _(Rolls his eyes:) Enough_! Norwood, show my _"nephew"_ the document, and let's get this _over_ with!

NORWOOD: Y-yessir, Boss. _(Pulls out the document from the file)_

_(Scene changes to Woo's car, the same time)_

Woo was finishing his story about Darren, and Daria and Jane were _beyond_ flabbergasted. All of this on _top_ of what happened to Darren, made Daria look at her brother with a _newfound_ appreciation, Jane, the same. This story had all of the elements of a _Greek tragedy_, with some _Shakespeare_ thrown in for good measure. Daria then spoke with a certain _clarity_ in her voice.

DARIA: Darren was trying to _protect_ us? He took all of this _crap_ and then some because of some _bastard_ or _bastards_ who killed his adopted parents, making it _look_ like an accident, and they're now going to try and kill _my_ family? _(Frowns:)_ I'll be _damned_ if I let that happen--I'll _admit_ they get on my _nerves_ sometimes, but they're my _family--(adds:)_ even _Quinn_.

JANE: _(Same frown:)_ You and me both, amiga. Damn it, Woo, who do you think it is?

WOO: I'm only _guessing_, but I believe that Darren's uncle _William Appleton_ is behind this, or a _part_ of some larger group of people who want to take over the company. I checked to see if he was going to be at work today, but his secretary told me he was out, something that had _rarely_ occured until this weekend. He left a day _after_ Sanchez was killed, which evens adds _more_ to my suspicions.

DARIA: Wait a minute--_the_ William Appleton--the guy who's running the _Appleton Conglomerate_? Why in the _hell_ would he want to do _this_ crap? Isn't he in _charge_ now?

WOO: Yes, but your brother only put him in _temporary_ control--I'm not sure, but William Appleton may be using your family's kidnapping to somehow make sure that his stay is _permanent_, Daria, though I can't see _how_ he could pull it off.

JANE: _(Slumps back in her seat, low voice, looks down:)_ Darren and your family, Daria--_oh, geez_--do you think we can get there in time? _(Puts her hand on her forehead, Daria, sitting beside her, reluctantly puts her hand on Jane's shoulder)_

DARIA: It'll be like the _cavalry_, Jane--we'll _ride_ in and kick some _ass_.

WOO: _(Frowns:)_ No, I _don't_ think you or Jane will, Daria--this isn't a _movie_--it's quite _real_. Me and my men have _enough_ things to worry about in your family, this "Sandi Griffin", and your brother. You are _not_ to come in with us, do you _understand_? You're only here because we needed you to _find_ the place, and that's all!

DARIA: But--

WOO: _(Cuts her off sharply:) --NO_ "but's", Daria! Let us _professionals_ do our jobs!

JANE: _(Sits back with her arms crossed, frowns:)_ Like you did when you _allowed_ that "Sanchez" guy who could've been able to point to the _S.O.B._ who hired him to kill Darren's adopted parents to _die_? _(Daria looks at Jane as if to say, "Oh, hell, Lane--even **I** wouldn't have said that")_

Woo gave a cool _glare_ at Jane, who was now looking out through the window which she had just rolled down to get some air, closing her eyes in pain away from the others (the rain had let up for the moment just enough for her to do so). Daria looked at her quietly, then at Woo out of the corner of her eye, while Leroy and David, who had been silent all of this time, looked at each other uncomfortably. The car pulled up at an intersection, stopping at an traffic light.

The van carrying _Mystik Spiral_, better known as the _"Tank"_, drove along the now dark road. Nick was at the wheel, with Trent riding shotgun, and Jesse and Max in the back. All were _not_ in the best of moods, particularly Trent.

TRENT: _(Frowns:)_ First, the new drum gets _busted_ and we have to go to Leeville to get a replacement, which was to _supposedly_ make us an hour _late_ for our gig at _McGrundy's_, then we get _stuck_ in the damn _mud_ on our way back because of this rainstorm, which put us so _far_ behind, we had to _cancel_ our gig for tonight! This _bites_, man!

JESSE: Hey, man--at least we were able to call _McGrundy's_, and _explain_. They said that _most_ of the people weren't gonna make there _anyway_ because of the rain washing out some of the roads, so _chill_. We can come back _tomorrow_ night.

TRENT: _(Swivels around in his seat, scowls:)_ Hey, Jess--remember the _rumor_ about a _record agent_ being there, man? We might've _blown_ it because we couldn't make it back, and he couldn't _see_ us? You gotta take into account that those guys are _busy_ all of the time--this could've been our _only_ chance!

MAX: Don't worry, Trent, we're _criminales_! We've got the reputation! There are _other_ agents, dude!

TRENT: _(Swivels back, mumbles:)_ Yeah, yeah--_(sees a car quickly go by, eyes light up:)_ hey, am I _seeing_ things, or was that _Janey_ I just saw with some _strange_ guys in a car?

NICK: _(Shrugs, in a nonchalant tone:)_ Wouldn't be the _first_ time, man. _(Trent **frowns** at Nick)_ Hey, man--I didn't mean it like _that_, okay?

TRENT: _(Narrows his eyes:)_ That _was_ Janey--_follow_ them, Nick.

NICK: _(Surprised with the others:)_ Huh? Why--

Trent gave Nick the glare that said, _"Don't screw with me, man"._ Though he wasn't a _fighter_, Trent was a _leader_, and he could _communicate_ what he wanted by just showing the right _bodily motions_ to the group. Nick and the others knew he was _serious_--to Trent, Jane was _his_ responsibilty, and no one else's, not until she was _married_, at least. To take up an issue over his sister would be _dangerous_ indeed, at least Nick and the others _thought_ so, though they _never_ found out personally, save for _Jesse_ once, when Trent thought he was taking _"advantage"_ of Jane in the _Zen_ a while back, even though Jane _herself_ had said it was just some _necking_. Jesse _never_ talked about what happened that night to the others, save for the fact that he did not want to _"tangle with Trent over Jane like that again, period"_.

NICK: Hang on, man, we're on it. _(Turns the "Tank" to follow the car)_

_(Scene is about five minutes later, a little less than a quarter of a mile from the warehouses)_

Woo's car pulled up to a clump of trees without the headlights on, and stopped on the muddy road. About this time it had started to rain heavily again, as well as get windy. Woo turned to Daria and Jane to speak while David and Leroy got out of the car and went to the trunk, presumably to get their _weapons_.

WOO: We don't _dare_ get any closer because there may be _lookouts_. The rain is a _welcome_ addition, as well as the dark, for both will provide _cover_ to us while we make our way there.

JANE: Why in the hell can't we go with you a _little_ ways at least? Daria and I wouldn't be any _trouble. (Thought v.o.: I never thought I'd **ever** say anything like that.)_

WOO: Jane, _please_--we've talked about this. It's _too_ dangerous. I can't _guarantee_ your safety.

JANE: So when did we pay any damn _money_ for a _warranty_? We can take care of ourselves, Woo!

WOO: _(Scowls now:)_ I'm _not_ going to _argue_ the point, Jane--I want you and Daria to _promise_ me that you two _won't_ follow me and my men! You've _fulfilled_ your _duty_ by getting us here--now, let us do our jobs!

JANE: But--

WOO: --PROMISE ME!

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ We--_promise_, Woo. _(Jane scowls at Daria)_ Jane and I _won't_ follow you.

WOO: _(Satisfied:)_ Good. _(Tone grows lower:)_ Look, I'm really sorry about this, but I just don't want to see either of you get _hurt_, or possibly get even _killed_. I've failed Darren _once_ before--I don't want to do so again. I _promise_ to try and get your family, Sandi Griffin, and Darren out. _(Pauses:)_ If we don't come back in _30 minutes_, take the car, and call the _police_.

Woo got out of the car and went to meet David and Leroy in the rain. Both girls saw Woo reach into his jacket and pull out a _huge_ gun, checking it for ammo. Jane glanced at the gun and spoke to Daria.

JANE: Woo's got a _44 Magnum. (David and Leroy pull out their guns and check for ammo as well:)_ Those guys have _Glocks--(Daria looks at Jane, intrigued)_ that's some _serious_ damn firepower they have, amiga.

DARIA: You know your _guns_--are you in the _N.R.A._ or something?

JANE: _(Shrugs:) Nope_--but I have read some gun _magazines. (Smirks:)_ There's so much _potential_ for _bloody violence_, I just can't _resist_! It's a _great_ subject for a _nihilist_ painting! I'll call it _"The Guns of Nihilone--Existence is Useless!"_

DARIA: _(Deadpan, smirks:)_ You have such a _positive_ outlook on life, my friend.

JANE: _(Smirks back:)_ Hey, _you're_ one to _talk_, amiga. _(Daria gives her Mona Lisa smile)_

Daria and Jane watched the men go into the now-dark windy and rainy night.

JANE: Okay, they're _gone_, Daria--let's get the _hell_ out and _follow_ them--_(starts to open the door)_

DARIA: _(Hesitates:) --No_, Jane.

JANE: Yeah, and we'll--_(pauses:) huh_? I'm sorry, I didn't quite _hear_ you right--did you just say _no_?

DARIA: Yeah, I said _no_.

JANE: Hey, where did all of _this_ come from? A few minutes ago, we were the _cavalry_, now suddenly, it's _"no"_? Daria, your _family_, and Darren being a _part_ of it, mind you--is _in_ there--_(adds as an afterthought:)_ oh, and _Sandi_ is as well! How in the _hell_ can you just _sit_ out here and wait?! We gotta--

DARIA: _(Cuts her off:)_ --Jane, as much as I would like to _charge_ in there and beat the _hell_ out of the bastards who have my family--_(adds as an afterthought as well:)_ and _Sandi--(sighs:)_ we _can't_. I've been condsidering what Woo said, and he's _right_--the _bad_ guys probably have _guns_--Woo and his men have guns--we _don't_ have guns--not that I'd ever _carry_ one, mind you. We'd only be in the _way_, and could get ourselves _killed_ in the process.

Jane looked at Daria, shocked, then frowned.

JANE: I _never_ thought that Daria Morgendorffer would _ever_ be _scared_ of anything! You've _always_ stood up for what you _believed_ in! Don't you _believe_ we need to _save_ your family--and _Sandi_?!

DARIA: Of course I do, Jane--but I believe in standing up for my _principles_, not in standing up and _charging_ in there and possibly getting a family member or myself _killed_. I'm not a _violent_ person by _nature_, Jane--I only use sarcasm as means to put people in their _place_, and call things as I see them.

JANE: _(Opens the door, shakes her head slowly:)_ You're telling me things I _already_ know, amiga--and I'm going to call something as _I_ see it--you're a _coward_, Daria! _(Daria looks stunned) I'm_ going in there to help save Darren and his family--and _Sandi_! You can stay in this car and _cower_, but not me!

DARIA: Jane, wait--

Jane got out in the rain, and started to walk in the direction where Woo and his men went. Daria stared at Jane for a moment, then mouthed _"Ah, hell"_, and got out of the car, too. She jogged a little to catch up to Jane, who had stopped when she saw Daria.

JANE: _(Shouting over the rain, grins:)_ I figured that would _shake_ you to get off of your _ass_!

DARIA: _(Ditto:)_ Oh I'm _shaking_, all right--shaking in my damn _boots_! I guess if I'm gonna _die_, it might as well be in a blaze of _glory_! _(Starts to leave with Jane)_

Both stopped when they saw headlights coming towards them in the road. For a moment, the headlights appeared that they were _not_ going to stop, but they did. The headlights shut off, and _Trent_ got out with the others. He rushed up to a shocked Jane and _hugged_ her.

TRENT: _Janey_, it _was_ you! I _knew_ it! _(Sees Daria:)_ Hey, Daria--we thought we had _lost_ you guys a ways back!

DARIA: Hey Trent! Fancy meeting you out here in the _"Great Outdoors"_! _(Sees the rest of the band:)_ Welcome to the _abyss_, gentleman--leave your _sanity_ at the door--I know I _just_ have! _(Jesse and the others look at each other, confused)_

JANE: Trent, what in the _hell_ are you and the guys doing _here_?! I thought you'd be at _McGrundy's_ by now! _(Pauses, realizes:)_ Hey, did you say you were _following_ us?!

TRENT: Yeah! Our gig at _McGrundy's_ got cancelled because we couldn't get back from Leeville in time! We saw you go by _(points at Woo's car:)_ in _that_ car with some guys! Why are _you_ guys out here, _who_ are those guys you were with--_(looks around:)_ and where's _Darren_?! Wasn't he _with_ you two?

JANE: Trent, Daria and I will try to tell you and the guys in _bits and pieces_ on the way to the warehouse district--c'mon, we might not have _much_ time! _(Pulls Trent with her as she goes with Daria and the others into the darkness)_

_(Scene changes to the warehouse where Darren and his captors are)_

William kept looking at his watch impatiently while Darren was "carefully" looking over the document. Save for the rain outside, there was silence in the dimly lit-to-darkened warehouse. Benny glared at Darren, while Oscar and Ernie were standing around, and talking. Bert had gone to check on Helen, Jake, Quinn, and Sandi.

DARREN: _(In his most deliberately slow tone:)_ Mr. Norwood, will you explain paragraph four, section three to me _again_? I want to make absolutely _sure_ I _understand_ it--_(adds:)_ and please, call me _Darren_.

NORWOOD: _(Perfectly in his "element":)_ Why, _certainly_, Mr.--er, Darren, you see--

BENNY: _(Cuts him off, takes gun out of his holster, points it at a flinching Darren:)_ He's _stalling_, Boss! I think your _"nephew's"_ up to something!

DARREN: _(Sneers:)_ How can I be _"up to something"_, Benny, while I'm all _tied_ up here? You haven't seen anyone _else_ come in here trying to _rescue_ me, have you?

BENNY: Not _yet_. Boss, can't we _check_ outside?

WILLIAM: _(After a moment:)_ I don't see why not--good thinking, Benny--maybe you haven't _lost_ your _usefulness_ to me. _(Benny sighs in relief)_ Take _Oscar_ and check out there. _(Oscar gives a slight frown of disapproval from having to stand in the rain previously, but says nothing)_

BENNY: Right, Boss. _(Smirks:)_ C'mon, _"Grouch". (Oscar scowls at him as he takes out his gun as well while they leave out into the dark warehouse and outside)_

WILLIAM: Now, my patience is wearing _thin, "nephew"_. You've had _more_ than enough time to examine the document--it's time for you to _sign_ it so you can save your girlfriend and family. _(Pulls out a pen:)_ Get it _over_ with, dear boy.

DARREN: _(Glares:)_ And _how_ do I do that, Uncle, with my _mouth_? You're going to have to _untie_ me, you know.

WILLIAM: _(Chuckles:)_ Oh, no you don't--I'm no _fool_, Darren--the _moment_ you get _loose_, you'll try some _fool_ martial arts _stunt_ to free yourself. Instead, I'll loosen _one_ of your arms so you can sign the document, and since you're _right_-handed, it'll be that one. Norwood, do the _honors_, and loosen his arm. _(Bert comes out of the dark:)_ Ah--_Bert_--take out your _gun_ along with Ernie and _point_ it at Darren to keep him from _trying_ something. _(Both do so)_ How are the _Morgendopplers_ and that _"Griffin"_ girl?

BERT: As well as can be _expected_, Boss--_(adds:)_ though the Griffin girl and that _"Quinn"_ girl were _arguing_ over who's _dress_ was _dirtier_, and your _"nephew's"_ birth mother and father were _arguing_ over who was a _better_ parent to their kids. _(William looks at Bert strangely, while Darren gives a weak smirk while thinking about both scenes)_

DARREN: _(Now resumes a serious look to William:)_ You _do_ realize if you _shoot_ me, you won't get my _signiture_, and the document will be _void_.

WILLIAM: _(Ponders:)_ Yes, I guess that's _true_--but what if we shoot someone in your _family_, or something? _(Smiles:)_ You get my _"drift"_?

DARREN: _Loud_ and _clear_, uncle.

WILLIAM: Spendid--Norwood?

Norwood began to unravel Darren's right hand as Bert and Ernie pointed their guns at Darren.

_(Scene changes to outside, the same time)_

The rain was getting even _heavier_ as Woo, David, and Leroy made their way towards the warehouses, which were now in sight. All three had split up in a zig-zag pattern, yet keeping each other in sight, all the while constantly looking around for anything out of the ordinary. All three stopped about 300 feet from the warehouses, hiding behind the trees that ringed the inlet. Suddenly, _Benny_ came out from behind one of the warehouses, looking around, his gun cocked. He glanced in the direction of Woo and the others for a moment, then continued to look around. A moment later, Oscar appeared beside him, and both started to move forward to one of the other warehouses. The instant both went out of sight behind it, Woo motioned to Leroy and David to come to him.

WOO: _(Shouts:)_ There's a _fence_ that's surrounding the site! Either we make our way to the _front_ gate and get through there, or try to find a place and _climb_ it! Suggestions!?

LEROY: Trying to climb it could leave us _vunerable_, Woo!

DAVID: Going to the front gate could do the _same_ thing, Woo--they could have someone _waiting_ there! I vote we should try and _climb_ the fence in a place! There's no _barbed wire_ on the top of the fence, and it could only take a _minute_ to get over for each one of us! We could keep _watch_ for anybody who might suddenly show up!

LEROY: I _agree_ with David, Woo! It could be a little _difficult_ in this rain to try and climb the fence, but I think it can be done!

WOO: Okay! Let's try it! Once I get over to the other side, I'll move to a the side of one of the warehouses, and watch over you two from there, then Leroy goes next, and David watches him on this side while Leroy climbs over, then Leroy and I can watch for David while David climbs over to the other side, and we can all go to a warehouse! _(Both men give curt nods while Woo runs up to a spot, then starts to climb it while David and Leroy act as lookouts)_

About 500 feet over to the right, Daria, Jane, and the members of Mystik Spiral came out of the woods towards the warehouses. They did not see Woo and his men, thanks to the combination of the heavy rain, wind, and the darkness. After going behind some bushes, Daria and the others formed a circle and talked loud over the driving wind and rain.

DARIA: Okay, we're here--now _how_ do we get _in_?!

JANE: We _could_ try climbing the fence in one place!

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ Oh, sure--and some _goon_ could come out of one of those warehouses, _spot_ us, and use us for _target_ practice! Without guns, Jane, we'd be _sitting ducks_!

TRENT: How about trying the _front gate_? We could come up to it and see if it's open, and get in! If someone's there, we can find _another_ place to climb over, away and behind the warehouses! We might not have any _weapons_, but we have our _wits_, man! _(Daria's about to say something sarcastic in response, but Jane cuts her off)_

JANE: Why, bro--that's a _splendiferous_ idea! Let's _go_ for it! _(Takes off for the front)_

Daria was about to say something, but everyone else had followed Jane before she could. Daria sighed, and shuffled after the others through the heavy rain.

Woo finally was able to finally get over the fence in the driving rain and wind, and he immediately pulled out his gun and started to go in the direction of the warehouses while Leroy climbed over next. David, still on the outside, had his gun out, and was watching for Leroy. Woo carefully came up against the far right warehouse, and moved against it in a _stealthy_ manner while watching the other two. He took a quick look at the warehouse he was leaning on, looking through the windows. He could not see anything at all --Darren, his family, and this _"Griffin"_ girl must be in one of the _other_ warehouses.

As he turned back to David and Leroy, he suddenly heard a _shot_ from around the corner of the warehouse he was beside of being fired, and it was aimed at _David_, who dove to the ground in a ditch which was beside the fence on the other side. David fired back in that direction. _Leroy_, who had just jumped from the fence unto Woo's side, pulled out his gun, and quickly made his way over to Woo, who himself was out of the line of fire. The shots had apparently come from around the corner of a warehouse beside the one Woo was at. Woo started to fire his gun around the corner in that direction as well to help cover for Leroy, who joined him. They were now _discovered_--all _hell_ was about to _break_ loose. Woo looked over at David, and _screamed_ over the rain and wind.

WOO: David, you _okay_?!

DAVID: Yeah, Woo! Don't worry about _me_!

LEROY: Woo, there's _nothing_ we can do for David at the moment. We gotta move as _quickly_ as possible! They could go after the _hostages_!

WOO: _(Through clenched teeth:)_ Yes, you're _right_--let's go! _(Suddenly turns to the locked door of the warehouse:)_ Let's cut _through_ here!

Woo _shot_ the lock open, and went into the warehouse, followed closely by Leroy.

_(Scene changes to the front gate, a minute **earlier**)_

Daria and the others had come up to the front gate. Trent tried it, and it came _open_, while the others had been watching in the direction of the warehouses.

TRENT: _All right_! Let's go in!

DARIA: _Carefully_, that is!

JANE: Enough _gabbing_! Time's a wastin'! _(Starts to walk forward)_

Suddenly, _several_ shots erupted, followed by some _shouts_, and everyone _dived_ on the ground, looking around, wide-eyed in fear, with their arms over their heads.

NICK: W-what in the _hell_ was _that_!? It s-sounded like _gunshots_!

DARIA: You _don't_ say! What made you come to that _sterling_ conclusion, Nick!?

JESSE: Hey, I don't think they were aimed at _us_!

JANE: _(After a moment:)_ Jesse's _right_--those shots seemed to go in the _opposite_ direction! We just _heard_ them!

MAX: M-maybe _we_ should go in the opposite direction _too_, man --_away_ from here!

TRENT: _No_ way, Max--we _gotta_ help Daria's family, Darren, and that _"Sandi"_ chick!

NICK: But what _good_ will we be if don't have anything to _defend_ ourselves, Trent?!

JESSE: Maybe we can _find_ something inside or on the grounds?!

JANE: I _agree_ with Jesse! Let's move out! _(Gets up with the others, who are now muddy, and move cautiously towards the warehouses)_

_(Scene changes to the room where Helen, Jake, Quinn and Sandi are, **two** minutes **earlier**)_

Jake and Helen were struggling to free themselves, though Jake was humming a _meaningless_ tune while doing so. Helen had _blocked out_ his humming in her head, concentrating on getting free instead. Sandi and Quinn were talking about fashion in the meantime, though a _now-bored_ Quinn was about to tell Sandi the _unthinkable_.

QUINN: --Uh, Sandi--no _offense_, but I'm kinda _tired_ of talkin' about fashions an' stuff right now, you know?

SANDI: _(Shocked, frowns:) Quh--inn_! Did I _heeear_ you right?! You're getting _tired_ of the latest _gowns_ and _pants_, and--

QUINN: _(Faux offense, rolls her eyes:) Sannndi_! Um--it's not that I'm _tired_ of fashions, I'm just saying that I'm tired of talking _about_ fashions! If we talk about the latest fashions right _now_, what are we gonna talk about in the _future_ fashion meetings? I'm suggesting that we should _save_ such talk until then--_(pauses while Sandi reflects:)_ I mean, dontcha want _Tiffany_ and _Stacy_ to be in on our talks?

SANDI: _(After a moment:)_ Very well, Quinn--like, what do you want to talk about?

HELEN: _(Cuts in, while struggling:) I_ have a suggestion, you two--how about instead of _talking_ about something else, why not _do_ something else?

QUINN: What do you mean, Mom? Do _what_?

HELEN: How about trying to _free_ yourselves from these _ropes_ we're in? Those _horrid_ men _say_ that they're going to free us _later_, but we don't _dare_ wait until then to find out! They could _change_ their _minds_, and--

QUINN: _MUH--OOM_! If Sandi and I try to free ourselves, we'll (ugh) rub our wrists _raw_, and _damage_ our _delicate_ skin! We've already have our (ew) dresses _dirty_!

SANDI: Well said, Quinn--an' it's _sooo_ unfashionable to do so! Mrs. Morgendorffer, you have to understand--

The next instant, several _shots_ rang out, _scaring_ everyone, including Jake, who was shaken out of his _"little humming world"_.

JAKE: _(Jumps:)_ AGH! WHAT IN THE HELL WAS _THAT_!?

HELEN: OH GOD! _GUNSHOTS_! _(Starts to struggle even harder against the ropes along with Jake:)_ THEY'RE COMING TO _GET_ US!

QUINN: _(Now panicked:)_ OHMYGOD! Uhhh--_Sandi_--?

SANDI: _(Suddenly struggles aginst the ropes:)_ LIKE, QUINN, WHAT'RE YOU _WAITING_ FOR!? LET'S GET FREE!! _(Quinn glares back at Sandi for a second, then joins Sandi and the others in trying to get free)_

_(Scene changes to the inside of the middle warehouse, back to Darren and his captors, a minute **earlier**)_

Darren had just finished _signing_ the document. William picked it up and looked at it like it was the most _precious_ thing in the world--and to William it _was_. Darren glared at him while William did so.

WILLIAM: _(Grins:) Finally_--the Appleton Conglomerate, all of it's _mine_, all mine. This is the _greatest_ day of my life!

DARREN: Okay, Uncle Will, you have what you want--now I _assume_ you'll _keep_ your word and _release_ the Morgendorffers and Sandi Griffin?

WILLIAM: _(Snaps out of his "trance":)_ Eh? Oh, _yes_, I'll _release_ them--into the _next world_, that is. _(Folds up, puts paper into his shirt)_

DARREN: _(Stunned:) WHAT_!?

WILLIAM: I've decided to _change_ my mind. Oscar was _right_--we can't afford _any_ loose ends. There are too _many_ people _involved_ in this, my boy.

DARREN: _(Enraged:)_ YOU DAMN BASTARD! THEY DID **NOTHING** TO YOU!

William stared at Darren stoically, then pulled out his _gun_ and pointed it at _Darren_, whose eyes grew _huge_.

WILLIAM: Oh yes they did, _"nephew"_--they knew _you. Goodbye. (Is about to pull the **trigger**, when shots are fired outside, which makes Darren flinch, then take a deep breath in relief:)_ What-the-_hell_? Bert, Ernie, check that out!

BERT: Right, Boss--c'mon, Ernie! _(Both he and Ernie leave)_

WILLIAM: _(Ponders:)_ Best not to take any chances. Darren, it looks like my _personal execution_ of you will have to _wait_ for the time being! Norwood, stay here with my _lucky "nephew"_ while I check that out with Bert and Ernie! _(Starts to leave)_

NORWOOD: B-but Boss--I-I _don't_ have a gun! _(Darren narrows his eyes slightly at this)_

WILLIAM: _(Rolls his eyes:)_ You _idiot_! He's all _tied up_, save for his right arm! All you have to do is _watch_ him! _(Leaves into the darkness)_

NORWOOD: O-okay, Boss.

Darren listened to his uncle's footsteps fade, then he stole a quick glance at Norwood, who was about _ten_ feet from him, then began to _whisper_ something to himself, turning his head _away_ from Norwood. Norwood frowned, perplexed.

NORWOOD: _(Narrows his eyes:)_ Hey, what are you _doing_?

Darren ignored him, and continued to whisper to himself with his head turned away from Norwood.

NORWOOD: _(Draws closer:)_ I asked you a _question_! _What_ are you doing?!

Darren still whispered to himself. Norwood began to get _angry_, drawing even _more_ closer.

NORWOOD: DON'T _IGNORE_ ME! I SAID WHAT ARE YOU--

Before Norwood could _react_, Darren had used his free arm, and _grabbed_ Norwood around the _neck_, pulling Norwood to him. Darren whispered in a low, but _dangerous_ tone, while Norwood _gasped_ for air, struggling.

DARREN: Don't _shout_. Since you were so _curious_, I was trying to _lure_ you to me, that's _what_ I was doing I'll say this just _once_--untie me right _now_, or I'll _break_ your _neck_, I _swear_ I will. I know certain martial arts _holds_ that will do the _trick_, and with the way I'm _feeling_ right now, _don't_ think I won't _snap_ it, you _got_ that? _Grunt_ once if you _understand_ me. _(Norwood grunts once)_ Good--now start to _loosen_ the ropes. If you even _think_ about shouting, you're _dead. (A terrified Norwood awkwardly reaches down and starts to loosen Darren's ankles while Darren continues to hold Norwood's neck)_

DARREN: Do you know _where_ my family and Sandi Griffin are held?

NORWOOD: _(Gasps:)_ T-they're in the _next_ warehouse _over_!

DARREN: Good--once you've untied me, we're going over there to _free_ them--_hurry up_!

_(Scene changes to outside of the warehouses, where Oscar and Benny are, the same time)_

Benny and Oscar were stationed around the corner of a warehouse, watching the fence through the driving rain, with their guns drawn.

BENNY: _Hah_! I _knew_ I saw something!

OSCAR: We didn't get that guy who was running across and behind to the _next_ warehouse over, Benny--and somebody _else_ fired some shots at us from where he ran to! How _many_ do you think are out there, and are they _cops_?

BENNY: I don't know, and I don't _care_, Oscar--all I know is that _you're_ going to keep an _eye_ on that _bastard_ out there near the _fence_! I'll go back inside and get the Boss and the others! _(Leaves while Oscar scowls after him, then looks back to the fence)_

_(Scene changes to the warehouse nearest the front gate)_

A completely-soaked Daria, Jane, and the others had worked their way up to beside the warehouse, still constantly looking around for anyone, but finding no one. Trent, at the front, was about to motion everyone to go on, when he _stumbled_ into a water-filled open barrel, which was sitting beside the outer wall, and almost had tipped it _over_, making a _rattling_ sound while splashing some water out of it, but was held up at the last second by Nick, Jesse, and Max. Jane, who along with Daria had been trailing in the rear, scowled at her brother, then came up to him, and spoke.

JANE: Geez, Trent, why not just _announce_ our arrival with an _airhorn_, why dontcha?!

TRENT: _(Scowls right back:) Hey_, Janey--lay off! It's still raining pretty _hard_ out here--I don't think anybody _heard_ us! Besides, I didn't _see_ the barrel, okay?

JANE: It was right there in _front_ of you! It wasn't exactly _invisible_, you know!? _(Pauses:)_ And _remember_, we _did_ hear those _shots_ in the rain!

While Trent and Jane were glaring at one another, Daria noticed something protruding out of the top of the barrel. She made her way between Jesse and Nick and looked in it, then turned to the two Lane siblings.

DARIA: Um, guys!? _(Starts to reach into the barrel with both hands)_

JANE: _(While still glaring at Trent:)_ Yeah, Daria!?

Daria pulled out some old, rusted _pipes_ in each hand, about an inch-and-a-half in diameter, and about two feet long in length. She started to smirk as Jane and Trent looked at her with everyone else.

DARIA: I think we've found Jesse's _weapons_--there's _several_ more in here. _(Jane and the others look at each other, and begin to smirk as well as they all reach into the barrel)_

_(Scene changes to the middle warehouse)_

Bert and Ernie were about to go outside through a side fire door and find out what was going on, when they suddenly ran into a soaked _Benny_, who came from outside through the same door. He was about to say something, when William came up behind Bert and Ernie.

WILLIAM: _(Frowns:)_ What in the hell's going on, Benny? Were those _shots_ we heard?

BENNY: _(Wide-eyed, gasps for breath:)_ Y-yeah, Boss--Oscar and I saw some people outside while we were making our round, and we fired some _shots_ at them, and they fired _back_ at us! I don't know how many are _out_ there, but Oscar has one _S.O.B._ in a ditch _pinned_ in on the other side of the fence! Another guy had just scaled it, and apparently, he was following yet _another_ guy who had already climbed the fence, because _that_ guy _fired_ at us! I think he and the other guy are in the next warehouse over!

WILLIAM: _DAMN_! All right--Bert, Ernie, I want you to see if you two can find the _asses_ that took some shots at Oscar and Benny--take off. _(Both go outside by the door and do so)_ Benny, I'm going to go back into the bay area and _finish off_ my _"nephew"_, then join them--that _dimwit_ Norwood is watching over him until I get back!

BENNY: Aww, geez, Boss--I wanted to _be_ there to _see_ you do it!

WILLIAM: _(Chuckles:)_ Now, now, Benny--tell you what--why don't you go and finish off Darren's _family_ as a _consolation_ prize?

BENNY: _(Brightens up:)_ You really _mean_ it, Boss?

WILLIAM: Sure! I had told my _"nephew"_ I was going to get _rid_ of them _anyway_! Knock yourself _out_!

BENNY: _Thanks_, Boss! _(Leaves to the next warehouse over by the same door as Bert and Ernie)_

William went back to where he left Darren and Norwood in the large bay, holding his gun. As he looked at the spotlight in the center of the bay, he began to _frown_, confused at the sight. He went closer, and saw that the chair that had Darren was _empty_, laying over to one side with the ropes strung out on them, and Norwood was _gone_ as well. He stared at the chair for a second more, _realized_ something, then quickly ran back into the darkness.

_(Scene changes to David in the ditch, outside)_

David couldn't move without being shot at, and he _knew_ it. From his rainy vantage point, he could only see the warehouses, but knew at least one of the men were _watching_ him, _waiting_ for him to move out. David felt _helpless_, cursing his luck--Woo and Leroy were somewhere in there, and he was stuck out here unable to do _anything_ but stay in the ditch. He frowned to himself.

DAVID: _(Thought v.o.: The **hell** with this--I gotta do **something**, maybe find better cover. Maybe the rain will provide enough of a cover--here goes) (Starts to get out of the ditch)_

Oscar watched the ditch intently, shivering, and soaked to the bone. When this was all _over_, he was going to ask for a _triple_ bonus--he felt he _deserved_ it for all of this _mess_. Oscar started to think about what he was going to do with the extra money, when he saw the man who had been in the ditch suddenly _jump_ out. Oscar _grinned_.

OSCAR: _(Aims his gun, thought v.o.: So long, **chump**)_

Oscar was about to fire when he felt a _thud_ on the back of his _head_. He slumped forward face-first, and fell to the pavement. _Trent_ looked him over along with the others.

TRENT: _Got_ im'! _(Looks back at Daria and Jane:)_ Uh, he _is_ one of the _bad_ guys, right?!

Daria and Jane turned the man over and looked at him.

DARIA: He wasn't with Woo and his men, so _yeah_, I think you did!

JANE: _(Grins:)_ I _concur_, amiga--_one_ bad guy down, a _million_ more to go!

NICK: What should we _do_ with him?

TRENT: _Move_ 'em some place out of the way, dudes--he won't be waking up for _awhile_! _(Picks up the man's gun, while Nick, Jess, and Max do so:)_ Now, we got a _real_ weapon!

DARIA: _(Looks uncomfortable:)_ Uh, do you know _how_ to _use_ a gun, Trent?!

TRENT: _(Waves it around:)_ How _hard_ could it _be_, Daria!? Just _point_ and _shoot_ it!

JANE: Hey, _I_ can--

TRENT: No offense, Janey, but _reading_ a gun magazine, and actually _holding_ a _real_ gun are two _different_ things! _(Jane frowns) I'll_ keep the gun--it'll be _safer_ if _I_ do it!

JANE: _(Curt:) Fine_! _(Turns to a surprised Daria, begins to pull her by the arm:)_ C'mon, Daria--

TRENT: --Hey, Janey--where are you going?!

JANE: To get my _own_ gun! We can help out Woo and his men better by _splitting up_ anyway!

TRENT: _(Alarmed:)_ Janey, _wait_--it's _not_ safe for us to be separated!

JANE: _(Turns back to Trent, sneers:)_ You've got a _gun_, bro--so why shouldn't _you_ feel _safer_!? _(Continues on, pulls Daria)_

TRENT: But--

DARIA: _(Looks back at Trent:)_ --I'll try to watch out for her, Trent! You guys see if you can find my family and Sandi, too! _(Fades off into the rainy darkness with Jane)_

TRENT: _(Watches after them:) Damn, it_ Janey--you're _stubborn_, you know that!? _(Thought v.o.: Watch out for her, Daria.)_

_(Scene changes to one of the warehouses)_

Bert and Ernie started to go down a long, dark, wide area with their guns drawn--the area was currently being used as a storage space for several stacks of crates. They thought they had heard some sort of _noise_ up ahead. Ernie leaned over to Bert and whispered.

ERNIE: You _sure_ Benny said these guys are over here?

BERT: _(Whispers as well:)_ Yeah, I _did_--now _shut up_! We don't want to _give away_ our _position_!

The next instant, a stack of crates that both men were standing beside of, suddenly fell on _top_ of both men, pinning them and simultaneously knocking the wind out of them. _Woo_ and _Leroy_, who had been on _top_ of the stacks beside the one that fell on the men, jumped down and looked at the pile of wood, arms, and legs.

WOO: _(Smirks:)_ Too _late. (Looks at Leroy:)_ Nice _kick_.

LEROY: _(Smirks as well:)_ You too--I used to be a _punter_ on my college football team.

WOO: _Midfielder_ for me on my college soccer team. Think you can handle this?

LEROY: Got you _covered_. I saw a roll of packing _twine_ nearby --you find the hostages, and I'll join you after I tie them up--be _careful_, Woo.

WOO: I _always_ am. _(Leaves)_

_(Scene goes to the warehouse where Helen, Jake, Quinn, and Sandi are)_

Benny checked his gun clip for the right amount of ammo just as he walked into the warehouse. He wanted to make sure he had _enough_ for the job. Benny _paused_ for a moment. He was going to _cold-bloodedly_ kill some _helpless_ people. Benny had _never_ done such a thing before, but he decided _long_ ago to not _allow_ his _conscience_ to bother him--_especially_ when it came to business. He remembered _toiling_ in the mailrooms as a just-graduated-from-business-school office worker until that fateful time _22 years ago_ when he had first met _William Appleton_ while delivering some _mail_ to him in his office. Awed by William's _"commanding"_ presence, Benny remembered having asked him _countless_ times about how to get _ahead_ in business, and William had _marvelled_ over Benny's _eagerness_ to learn. William then took Benny on as a _protege_, and Benny's career took off. Having _never_ forgotten, Benny felt _complete_ loyalty to his _"Boss"_, and now Benny _smirked_ to himself, feeling _nothing_--to him, _this_ was _business_ as well. He was about to go to the far _back_ of the warehouse where the hostages were, when he heard what seemed to be _struggling_ and _muffled_ sounds up ahead in the dim light. Benny cocked his gun, and cautiously proceeded forward.

Benny went about _50_ feet, and was _shocked_ to find a wide-eyed and panicked _Norwood_ looking at him tied up _face-first_ and _gagged_ with his arms around each side of one of the large columns that held up the ceiling of this particular warehouse. _Hold it_--if _Norwood_ was _here_, then where was--

Before he could _finish_ that thought, he felt a _kick_ in his lower back from _behind_, which threw him forward onto the floor, and also _dislodged_ his gun, which slid on the concrete floor into the darkness, and away from the dimmed lights. Wincing in pain, he grabbed his back and turned around while on the floor--even before he did, he knew _instantly_ who had _done_ it. Before him standing was a sight that _terrified_ him--an enraged _Darren Appleton_, who began to speak in a _savage_ tone of voice, whispering, as he began to slowly _advance_ on Benny.

DARREN: _(Sneers down at Benny:) Hello_, Benny.

BENNY: _(Trembles, hold up his hands:)_ O-oh, _God_, Darren--p-please don't _do_ this! I-I was only _following_ William's _orders_!

DARREN: I _could_ and _should_ kill you, Benny--but you're _not_ worth it, oh, no--_that_ honor goes to my dear _"uncle". (Reaches over in the dark, pulls out a rope, and a rag:)_ Get up--go ahead, make a _sound_--give me an _excuse_ to _beat_ you into the ground--assume the same position Norwood has. _(Benny timidly stands up, goes over to the same column Norwood's at on the other side)_

Darren gagged Benny, then tied Benny's arms around the post like Norwood's, making sure to pull a little extra _hard_ on Benny's arms, which made Benny _wince_.

DARREN: _(In a mocking tone:)_ Oh, did I make you feel _uncomfortable_? I'm _so_ sorry! _(Leaves)_

_(Scene changes to the other side of the same warehouse)_

A throughly-soaked Daria and Jane had found an unlocked door and had entered the warehouse through the side. The wall that they were beside of consisted of old and cracked windows, _not_ broken like on some of the others, and it overlooked the inlet. Both were still carrying their pipe _"weapons"_. Daria looked over at a _brooding_ Jane, speaking in a whisper.

DARIA: We shouldn't have _left_ Trent and the guys. I know that you think he treats you like a _baby_ sometimes, but it's only because he _cares_, Jane.

JANE: _(Through clenched teeth, slightly louder voice, frowns:)_ Damn it, Daria, you don't think I _know_ that? I'm just freakin' _sick-and tired_ of people who keep _suffocating_ me in the name of _"love"_ and _"care"_! I can take care of _myself_!

DARIA: _(Small smirk:)_ Hmmm, I'm _wondering_--did _Tom "suffocate"_ you like that--_(Jane glares at Daria)_ and if so, will you be that way with my _bro_ when _he "suffocates"_ you with _"love"_ and _"care"_, too?

JANE: _(Stops, cocks an eyebrow:)_ Just what _are_ you getting at, Daria?

DARIA: _(Realizes she may have hit a nerve here, gingerly tries to handle the situation:)_ That, um, well, you sometimes have this _tendency_ to want to do everything your _own_ way, Jane. From what I understand, a relationship has to be a _team_ effort, not just a _one-way street_.

JANE: _(Frowns, angered:)_ Whoa--where did _this_ come from? I gave _more_ than I got with Tom! He wanted to control _me_, remember? Darren's _not_ like that!

DARIA: _(Frowns herself:)_ I never said that Darren _would_ control you, Jane--but I can see that my bro does _care_ for you. I think he might feel kind of _hurt_ if you don't let him be there _for_ you.

JANE: _Waaaaait_ a second, amiga--Darren _was_ there for me when he saved my _life_--

DARIA: _(Cuts her off gently:)_ --No, that's _not_ what I'm talking about, Jane--I mean, when Darren's gonna want to _help_ you down the _road_ if you two start to become--more _(pauses:)--"serious"_ with each other? _(Jane looks away for a second, red-faced)_ You know, with his _money_, or something--like when you go to _college_? _(Jane frowns again, this time out of **confusion**)_ Are you gonna _allow_ him to do so if he offers, or are you gonna say, _"No thanks, I can do this on my **own** like everything **else** in my life, and I don't need anybody."_

JANE: _(Rolls her eyes:)_ Daria, _please_--I _told_ you I don't give a _damn_ about Darren's wealth--I-like-_him. (Shrugs:)_ If he wants to offer a _little_ money to help me, well, I'd uh--_consider_ it.

DARIA: _(Sarcastic:)_ Oh--well--that's _different_, then--that you'd _"consider"_ my bro's offer of _"help"_, and _not_ accept it _outright_. I'm sure Darren would understand _that_ little _quirk_ of yours _perfectly_.

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ Would _you_?

DARIA: _(Arches an eyebrow:) Come_ again?

JANE: Like I said--would _you_ accept your brother's offer of money for college, or in that fact, something _else_?

DARIA: _(Narrows eyes:)_ "Something else", liiiiike--

JANE: I dunno--what if he wanted to get you a new _car_, or something? He would _do_ it, you know, if you _asked_ him to. _(Pauses, smirks:)_ I know _Quinn_ would do it in an _instant_.

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Quinn would ask Darren for a whole damn _lot_ of cars, _planes_, and _yachts_, not to mention _expensive_ wardrobes, _mountain retreats_--

JANE: _Exactly_, and stop giving me the _obvious_ crappy _runaround_, here. Would _you_ accept _money_ from your bro if he _offered_ it? _(Pauses:)_ It would seem to me that you _would. (Daria frowns at Jane, angered)_ Hey, before you answer, _think_ about it for a second--you take money from your _parents_ when they _offer_ it--

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ --Jane, my parents offer me money outright about as often as Quinn _refuses_ to take it when they offer it to her--which you know what the _answer_ is to that. I have to sometimes get them into my little "guilt-trip" schemes, and such--

JANE: --Which you no _longer_ would have to do now that your bro--

DARIA: --And your _boyfriend_--

JANE: _(Annoyed slightly:)_ --is _Richie Rich_. You've basically got it _made_.

DARIA: I'd _never_ take _advantage_ of my bro, Jane, I--

JANE: _(Grins:) --Care_ about him too much to do so?

DARIA: _(Glares for a moment:)_ I just want to make it on my _own_, that's all. I wouldn't want to become a--_sponge_ like Quinn. I have my _scruples_.

JANE: _(Quietly:)_ But if Darren offered to help you out of--brotherly _love_?

Daria stared at Jane wide-eyed for a moment and looked away. Jane smirked. _Gotcha, amiga--admit you're **fond** of him._ After a long pause, Daria was about to answer when both were _interrupted_.

VOICE FROM THE DARK: _Boooooring_. I _knew_ Darren would be _perceived_ differently once his birth family found out he had the _moolah_! _(Daria and Jane jump at the voice, hold their pipes in a defensive stance)_ Oh, come now--do you _really_ think _those_ "weapons" would do any good against _my_ weapon, ladies? _(Source of the voice comes out of the dark into the dim lights, points a gun at them, grins, speaks in a perky voice:) Hi_!

DARIA: Who in the _hell_ are you--the answer to the _"Good Humor Man"_?

MAN: Nooo--I'm far _worse_--the name's _William Appleton_, and Darren's _uncle_, and little _ringleader_ of the people who have your family hostage. You know, I don't think I would have _noticed_ you both a second ago if you hadn't said anything--those are the _breaks_, I guess. _(Smirks:)_ Drop your "weapons", please. _(Both girls look at each other, do so, and the pipes hitting the floor make a noise) Oh, dear_ --that'll probably get my nephew's _attention_, if _Benny_ doesn't get to him _first_.

JANE: _(Scowls:)_ So _Woo_ was right! You're the _bastard_ who's behind all of this!

DARIA: _(Rolls her eyes, thought v.o.: Way to go, Lane--give up the element of **surprise** to this slimeball--he'll know to watch out for Woo and his men now.)_ What do you mean, _"If Benny doesn't get to him first"_? _(Pauses, smirks:)_ Are you saying Darren's running around here _free_ to cause some _mischief_? _(Jane smirks)_

WILLIAM: _I_ wouldn't worry about Darren if I were _you_, my dear. _(Looks around:)_ So, _Woo's_ behind all of the _trouble_, eh? _(Scowls:)_ I _knew_ I should've went on ahead and _eliminated_ that _S.O.B._ when I had the _chance_! Well, I'm _sure_ that my men will take _care_ of him. _(Pauses, frowns:)_ Who _are_ you two, anyway?

DARIA: _(Deadpan:)_ I'm _Betty Crocker_.

JANE: _(Ditto:)_ And I'm _Sara Lee_. We can make some _pastries_ for you--

DARIA: --And then we'll gladly _shove_ them up your _big, greedy corporate ass_.

WILLIAM: _(Scowls slightly:)_ Oh, I have two _wise-asses_, here, eh? Well, if you're here to _"rescue"_ the hostages, I'm afraid you're too _late_.

DARIA: _(Turns pale with Jane:)_ What--do you mean, _"too late"_?

WILLIAM: _(In a calm voice:)_ Why, my assistant Benny has _killed_ them all, that's what I mean, _"Betty Crocker". (Daria's eyes grow big with horror)_ Oh, they must've meant _something_ to you, eh? You must be the _other_ sister--huh--you're not much of a _looker_, are you? _(Daria and Jane frown at him while William grins wickedly:)_ This is _delightful_--first I take _Darren's_ adopted family away, and now _your_ family too--and Darren's _birth_ family!

DARIA: _(Scowls deeply, horrified:)_ YOU BASTARD! YOU--YOU KILLED _MY FAMILY_!? _(Starts to go toward William in a **rage**, which surprises Jane and even William)_

_(Scene changes to somewhere in the same warehouse, a minute **earlier**)_

Darren was making his way to the room where his birth family and Sandi were being held when he had heard what sounded like a _metallic_ sound on the other side of the warehouse. He had paused for a moment, wondering if he should _ignore_ the sound and continue on, since he was pretty well-hidden in the dark, but on a second thought decided to _check out_ the source of the sound--Darren had been sure that _Benny_ was probably sent to _kill_ Darren's birth family and Sandi since Benny was in this warehouse, but Darren had _"secured"_ Benny (as well as Norwood), so Darren figured his birth family and Sandi were _safe_ for the time being.

A _second_ thought went through Darren's head--what was the _source_ of those _shots_ he had heard? Not that he was _complaining_ of the _timing_ of them occurring, of course, but could his _prayers_ have been _answered_? Was someone _helping_ him and the others? Darren was still on this thought when he heard a _cry_ that _resonated_ throughout the warehouse, about _200_ feet in front of him--it sounded somewhat _familiar_, but he couldn't quite place it. He quickened his pace in the direction of the cry, and came out to the edge of the darkness, _stunned_.

About 100 feet in front of him, he saw a wet and dirty _Daria_ and _Jane_, and his uncle _William_ standing, but even _more_ shocking was what _Daria_ was doing--she was rushing _toward_ his uncle in a full _fury_--and this as William had a _gun_ on her. Horrified, Darren rushed forward.

_(Scene changes to a warehouse **beside** the one Daria and the others are in, about **five** minutes **earlier** than Darren seeing Daria and Jane)_

Trent, Jesse, Nick, and Max came inside and dried themselves off, in a dimmed space, looking around carefully.

TRENT: Damn it--Janey's somewhere around here, and she could be in _trouble_! Why didn't I just _force_ her to come with us?

JESSE: Hey, c'mon, man--you know Jane's got her _own_ mind, right? There was nothing you could do--

TRENT: --Except get herself and Daria _killed_! I'm going _after_ them both--

VOICE FROM THE DARK: _Hold_ it--_drop_ your gun and thoses pipes you're all holding. _(Trent and the others look around)_ I _won't_ ask _again. (Trent grudgingly throws down his gun, and the others drop their pipes)_

MAX: _(Terrified voice:)_ S-so much for being _criminales_, man--we're _dead_.

TRENT: _(In a weak voice, pale:) Janey, Daria--_

The source of the voice came out, and a wet, blond-haired, goateed burly-looking man came out of the darkness with a gun pointed at Trent and the others.

NICK: _(Scared:)_ H-hey, man, d-don't _shoot_--I-I've got a _daughter_--

JESSE: _(Ditto:)_ Y-yeah, er--me _too_, dude--

MAX: A-and _me_!

TRENT: Uhhh--I guess we can't make a _deal_?

MAN: _(Looks at them strangely:)_ You all don't _look_ like _bad_ guys--other than the fact that you're _wet_ and _dirty_--

MAX: Hey, man--speak for _yourself_! _(Trent, Nick, and Jesse scowl at him)_ W-what?

TRENT: We don't wanna get this guy _upset_, Max--_(realizes:)_ hey, did you say we don't _look_ like bad guys?

MAN: That's what I said. Who are you?

TRENT: We're a band called _Mystik Spiral_--

MAN: _(Raised eyebrows:) Mystik Spiral_? A _Jane Lane_ told us about your band on the way over here! _(Trent cocks an eyebrow)_

JESSE: Hey, man, you came here with Jane and Daria?

MAN: Yes--how do you know Jane and Daria?

TRENT: I'm her _brother_, man--we were coming from a nearby town called Leeville, when I saw her riding in _your_ car. I got _concerned_, we followed your car, and came here. You work for that _"Woo"_ guy?

MAN: _(Lowers his gun:)_ Yes, I'm _David_. Gerald Woo is my employer, and I have another partner, _Leroy_, who is with Woo somewhere around here--_alive_, I hope. I was able to only come in here after I made my way through the _front gate_ by an _incredible_ stroke of luck.

TRENT: Yeah, we came here with Daria and Janey through the front gate, too. We made our way around some of the warehouses, and I was able to _whack_ a guy who was leaning against the side of one of them watching the _fence_ for some reason--_(pauses:)_ uh--I hope he wasn't that _Leroy_ or _Woo_ guy--Janey and Daria said he wasn't. Jesse, Max, and Nick put him in a _tool_ shed beside one of the warehouses--he's gonna be out for awhile.

DAVID: _(Grins:)_ So _you're_ the ones who kept that fellow from firing at me when I got out of that ditch! Good work, and for the record, _(looks at the gun on the floor which Trent had dropped:)_ I can say for a _fact_ that was _not_ Woo or Leroy, because they didn't carry a _Smith & Wesson_ with them in here. _(Looks around, becomes alarmed:) Wait a minute_--did you say your _sister_ and Daria Morgendorrfer came in _with_ you? _Where_ are they _now_?

TRENT: _(Looks down:) Uhhh_--me and my sister had a little _argument_, and they went off on their _own_--I don't know _where_ they are.

DAVID: _(Scowls:)_ You let your _sister_ and her best friend _go_ to God-knows-where, and you don't know where they _are_!? They could be in _danger_!

TRENT: _(Scowls back:) Chill_, man! Janey and Daria can take care of themselves!

DAVID: Oh!? Do _they_ have a _gun_!?

TRENT: _(Looks at the gun on the floor:)_ Uhhh--not _really_--

David was about to say something else, when _Leroy_ came out of the dark.

LEROY: _(Sees David, smiles:) David_, my man!

DAVID: _(Smiles:)_ What's goin' down, Leroy?

LEROY: _(Looks at Trent and the others:)_ I see you got some _more_ bad guys?

DAVID: Nope--these are _good_ guys--it's kind of a long story to get into. Where's _Woo_?

LEROY: He's gone after the _hostages_. He and I took care of some bad guys in one of the other warehouses--there were _two_ of them. I tied them up.

DAVID: Great--and Trent and his friends here took care of _another_ one--_(Leroy looks at Trent and the others, impressed)_ so that makes _three_. Do you think there are any others?

LEROY: I don't know--let's find out.

DAVID: Right behind you--_(starts to leave with Leroy)_

TRENT: Hey, what about _us_?

DAVID: Maybe you guys should _stay_ here--

TRENT: --C'mon, man--this is my _sister_ and her best friend and her family we're talking about--besides, we took care of that guy that had _you_ pinned down. _(Leroy cocks an eyebrow at David)_ The way I figured it, you _owe_ us!

DAVID: _(After a moment, sighs:)_ Okay, all right! You guys came come _with_ us--but let Leroy and I _lead_, okay? _(Trent and the others nod)_ And you'll have to do _exactly_ what we tell you to do if we encounter _trouble_, got that?

JESSE: It's _cool_, man.

LEROY: Then pick _up_ that gun and those pipes, guys, and let's _book. (Leaves with the others behind him and David into the darkness)_

_(Scene changes to the room where Helen, Jake, Quinn, and Sandi are--the same time as when David first meets Mystik Spiral)_

Helen and Jake were _resting_ for the moment from their struggling from the ropes while Quinn and Sandi were _still_ going at it, so much so that both girls had fallen over onto the _floor_.

SANDI: Come _on_, Quinn--like, I can feel the ropes _loosening_! _(Thought v.o.: This floor is **sooo** icky--I'll bet **my** dress is still **cleaner** than Quinn's!)_

QUINN: Y-yeah, Sandi, I think they _are_! _(Thought v.o.: Sandi's color is pickin' up a whole lot **more** dirt than my dress is!)_

Helen nudged her head to bump Jake's.

HELEN: Come on, Jakey--rest time's _over_--we've _got_ to get free--the girl's say that _their_ ropes are _slipping_--I think _our's_ are, too! _(Struggles, ponders:)_ I wonder why no one came in _here_ after we heard those _shots_?

JAKE: Don't tell me you're _complaining_ about that, honey--I know _I'm_ not! _(Struggles while Helen glares back at him for an instant:)_ UHHGGH! Helen--I don't think these ropes have budged _one_ damned inch! That masked guy must be a _world-class knot-tier_!

HELEN: _(Sighs:)_ Jake we have to work _with_ each other, not _against_ one another! Now go in the direction _I_ go, okay?

JAKE: A-okay, honey! _(Starts rocking with Helen back and forth:)_ Hey, this is kinda _fun_! _(Helen glares back at him again)_

QUINN: _(Red-faced:)_ Just-a-little-more--_(ropes start to **loosen**)_ Sandi, they're comin' _loose_!

SANDI: _(Ditto:) Quh--inn_! Getting _over-excited_ is _very_ unfashionable--but you are _correct. (Ropes start to fall off both of them:)_ We're like, _free_!

HELEN: Then help _us_, you two! _(Quinn and Sandi go over, untie the loosened ropes off of Helen and Jake, and they get up as well)_

After stretching for a moment, everyone went to the door to the room. Jake slowly put his finger to his mouth, motioning everyone to keep quiet, and then tried then doorknob. It was _still_ locked.

JAKE: _(Jiggles the knob:)_ Aw, _crap_! _(Starts to get **angry**:)_ Why in the HELL DOESN'T THIS _DAMN_--

HELEN: JAKE! _(Whispers:)_ Will you calm _down_? Those _evil_ men may be _outside_ the door or nearby!

QUINN: _(Whines in a whispering tone:)_ We'll _never_ get outta here!

SANDI: Now, Quinn--_negative_ thinking is a Fashion Club _no-no_!

QUINN: Uh, _sorry_, Sandi--you're _right. (Sandi nods curtly)_

Helen was about to suggest something when the doorknob started to move from the _other_ side. Everyone backed up from the door wide-eyed, save for _Jake_, who _stood_ his ground.

JAKE: _(Angry, frowns:)_ I'll be _damned_ if I allow any of you to be _tied_ up again--or _shot_! When this guy comes in, I'll _take_ 'em on!

HELEN: _(Alarmed:)_ Jakey, _no_!

JAKE: _(Determined look, growls:)_ Sorry, honey, but it's either him _or_ us!

QUINN: Daddy, be careful!

SANDI: Like, what Quinn said!

The door _opened_, and Jake promptly _charged_. He ran into a _wet_, burly, Asian-American man, and _immediately_ fell _back_ on the floor, dazed. Helen and Quinn rushed to Jake's aid, while Sandi backed against the far wall, scared out of her wits. The man spoke to them in a _calming_ voice.

MAN: Please don't be _alarmed_--I don't wish you _any_ harm--in fact, I just came here from the _rear_ of the building to _rescue_ you. My name's _Gerald Woo_.

HELEN: _(Pauses, realizes:) Gerald Woo_? The--the _detective_ our son _told_ us about? H-how did you--

WOO: _(Serious tone:)_ --There's _no_ time to explain Mrs. Morgendorffer--I have to get you all _out_ of here, and--_(hears a **scream** from the far right end:)_ what in the _world_--

HELEN: _(Appalled:)_ That sounded like--like--_Daria_! _(Woo rushes out, Helen and the others follow him)_

_(Scene changes to the **present** time, same warehouse with Daria, Jane, Darren and William)_

Daria went at a surprised William so _fast_, he did _not_ have time to point his gun and _shoot_ her, so he did the _next_ best thing (to him)--he used the _butt_ of the gun he was holding, and _struck_ Daria in the _face_, knocking her back onto Jane, and both fell onto the floor. William quickly regained his senses, and pointed his gun at the girls.

WILLIAM: _(Wicked sneer:)_ Good riddance to bad _rubbish_, I always say--say hello to _Darren_ in _hell_ for me, will you?

The next few seconds went like a _blur_--before William could pull the trigger, _Darren_ came _running_ out of the dark in a _rage_. As William turned towards him, Darren _leapt_ up, and kicked his uncle _hard_ and _flat_ in the _chest_ with all the force he could muster, and _then_ some. This action made William drop the gun, and it _discharged_ when it hit the floor--hitting _Darren_ squarely in his left _shoulder_, and knocking him back to the floor. A _screaming_ William meanwhile fell through the _window_ beside them all simultaneously, and into the black darkness of the heavy rain and wind-driven storm, hitting the water inlet. A stunned Daria and Jane jumped up off the floor, and rushed to a now-wounded Darren, who looked up weakly to his sister and girlfriend. _Blood_ was _pouring_ out of his shoulder. Both girls _snatched_ off their jackets and put them on Darren, Jane's going on the top, and Daria's on the bottom, beneath Darren. Darren struggled to speak, shaking from the intense pain of his shoulder, and looking between the two.

DARREN: A-are b-both of you a-all r-right--?

DARIA: _(Holds down Jane's jacket on Darren while on her knees, tries to hold back her **tears**:)_ Y-yeah, we are, b-bro--oh, God--Darren, don't--don't try to speak.

JANE: _(Tears roll down her eyes, does the same:)_ D-Darren, D-Daria's _right_--don't s-say anything. P-please don't say anything.

DARREN: L-let me s-say t-this, please--I-I'm s-sorry f-for the _lies_, sis, Jane--

DARIA: _(Now tears slowly come down from her eyes:)_ I-it doesn't matter, bro--just rest, okay? _(Looks desperate:)_ J-Jane, we-we gotta get some help!

JANE: _(Sobs, gets up, screams:)_ SOMEBODY **HELP** US, DAMN IT! IS ANYBODY HERE!?

Gerald Woo ran out of the darkness, and was _stunned_ by the sight in front of him for a moment, then he reached into his jacket, and pulled out his cell phone. He _fervently_ dialed 911.

WOO: Hello? 911? We need an _ambulance_, damn it! We have a person that's been _shot_ at the--_(looks at Jane again, turns the phone to her)_

JANE: _(Frantic:)_ THE CARTER COUNTY BAY WAREHOUSE DISTRICT!!

WOO: Did you _get_ that?! _(Pauses:)_ Good--bring the _police_ as well! We'll have someone out there waiting for you to show you where the injured man is! _(Clicks off his phone)_

Helen, Jake, and the others started to come out of the darkness, having heard Jane's screams. Helen took the lead, fearing something had happened to _Daria_--what she saw in front of her was just as horrible, the same for Jake and Quinn--and even for _Sandi_.

HELEN: _(Screams, sobs:)_ DARREN!! _(Rushes up)_

JAKE: _(Ditto:)_ SON! _(Rushes up)_

QUINN: _(Screams, sobs:)_ BRO!! _(Rushes up)_

SANDI: _(Stunned:)_ D-DARREN?! _(Is about to rush forward, but sees that everyone else has done so, quietly comes up behind the others, secretly horrified)_

Jane suddenly stepped in _front_ of the Morgendorffers, _furious_. Helen, Jake, and Quinn looked at her as if she had lost her mind. Before Helen could say anything, Jane cut her off.

JANE: Mrs. Morgendorffer, Darren _needs_ air! If you all rush up to him like this, it could cut it _off_! You gotta give him _room_ to breathe! _(Leans over to them, tries to overcome her fear, whispers:)_ T-The _last_ thing Darren needs is to see you all like this--it could make his i-injury _worse_. Bad enough that _I_ screamed myself.

Helen held back her _fury_ at Jane, and _softened_ her face, the same for Jake and Quinn--through their red haze, they somehow knew that Jane was _right_--even _Jake_. Helen went first, stooping beside a _silently_ sobbing Daria, who was still holding Jane's jacket over Darren's wound.

HELEN: _(Tears up, in a soft tone:)_ S-son, oh dear Lord--Darren--_(caressess his face gently while Darren simply mouths to her "I'm sorry")_ it'll be all right, son--the ambulance is on it's way--just don't move or say anything, okay, sweetie? _(Darren smiles weakly)_

Jake then came over beside Helen and stooped down as well, putting his hand gently on his son's chest. He struggled to speak, trying not to cry.

JAKE: E-Easy, Big Guy--_(smiles weakly, quiet tone:)_ d-do what you _mom_ says, okay? _(Darren mouths "okay" to Jake)_

Quinn suddenly brushed between her parents, got down on her knees on Darren's right side, bent over, and laid her _head_ on Darren's chest, trying to hold back her sobs.

QUINN: _(Whispers:)_ P-Please d-don't _die_, Darren--please don't--don't--die. _(Begins to sob gently into his chest, and Darren weakly places his right hand on Quinn's hair, gently rubs it)_

As Sandi watched everyone gathered around Darren quietly, her tears started to flow, and she privately started to shed her _own_ tears.

SANDI: _(Thought v.o.: Oh, Darren--like, you can't die--you--just--**can't**!)_

The next instant, there was a sound of a door opening nearby (the same door Daria and Jane had come through), and Woo pulled out his gun, slowly going up to the source of the noise. The Morgendorffer women covered Darren, while a determined Jane, and even _Sandi_, stepped in front of them--there was _no_ way anyone was going to come in here to do something now--_woe_ to whoever did.

WOO: _(Glances behind:)_ Stay here, I'm going to--

VOICE IN THE DARK: Woo, is that _you_?

WOO: _(Lowers his gun a bit:) David_?

David, followed by Leroy, and the members of Mystik Spiral, came out of the dark. Trent saw Jane, and ran up to her, relieved, hugging her.

DAVID: _(Smiles:)_ Yeah, it's us, Woo.

LEROY: _(Ditto:)_ We're all okay--we've checked through all of the other warehouses but this one--besides our two guys, _(motions over to Trent:)_ this _"Trent" _guy and his friends got _another_ one stored in a tool shed.

TRENT: _Janey_! Oh man--I'm glad you're all right--and the Morgendorffers as well! _(Looks at Sandi:)_ Oh, and uh, you _too. (Sandi looks at Trent stoically)_

JANE: _(Quietly:)_ I'm glad you're okay, too, Trent--_(looks back towards Darren and the others:)_ but not _all_ of us are all right.

Trent and the other band members, along with David and Leroy, looked past Jane and saw Darren lying on the floor in a small pool of blood, ringed by the Morgendorffers.

TRENT: (Stunned along with the others:) D-Darren? Geez, what happened, Janey?

JANE: _(Tries to control her emotions:)_ T-That _ass_, William Appleton, was about to _shoot_ me and Daria, when Darren came out of the dark, and _kicked_ him _out_ of the window. _(Sobs:)_ When that _bastard_ dropped his gun, it went _off_, and hit Darren in the shoulder. _(Begins to cry into Trent's shoulder)_

Woo came over to the stunned David and Leroy.

WOO: _(Authoritative tone of voice:)_ Okay, you two--_(looks over at Jesse, Nick and Max, as well:)_ come out of those _stun modes_, or whatever they are, and _move_ it! David, you and Leroy go out front and direct the ambulance and the police to where Darren is! _(David and Leroy immediately do so)_ As for _you_ fellows, _find_ something to cover that _hole_ in the window--the rain is starting to come in _here_! _(Jesse, Max, and Nick start looking through the warehouse for something)_

JAKE: _(Comes up:)_ Uh, Mr. Woo--?

WOO: _(Smiles politely:)_ Just _Woo_, please, Mr. Morgendorffer--

JAKE: _(Returns the smile:)_ Well, you can just call me _Jake_, then--over our _objections_ that he talk, my son just told us they're two _other_ men in this warehouse on the _other_ side! _(Beams proudly:)_ Darren said he took _care_ of 'em!

WOO: _(Raises his eyebrows, surprised:) Really_? Well, I'll check them out, then--be right back. _(Leaves, while Jake goes back to his family)_

Daria silently and sadly looked down on her brother while pressing Jane's jacket onto his left shoulder, trying to _coagulate_ the flow of his blood from his body. Her tears still flowed in a slow _trickle_ down her face. Darren looked up at her, and smiled weakly, trying to _reassure_ her, though personally, he was _scared_ as well. Daria gave her small Mona Lisa smile back to him in return. Quinn, on the right side, stayed on her knees, and held his right hand, trying to stay brave. Jane and Trent came up, and watched the scene, with Jane crying quietly into her brother's shoulder, and leaning her head on his chest. Helen was doing the same to Jake.

Sandi swallowed hard, and came up slowly, looking down at Darren, scared, trying to hold back her emotions. Darren caught her look--_she really does like me--maybe she's finally trying to become a decent person_. Quinn and Daria looked up at Sandi, and Quinn motioned for Sandi to come down _beside_ her. Sandi was taken _aback_ for a moment by Quinn's invitation, then she reluctantly got down on her knees beside Quinn. Darren smiled at her quietly, then began to _speak_--Daria and Quinn were trying to keep him from speaking, but he weakly put up his right hand to cut off their protests.

DARREN: J-Just one more time, you two--I _have_ to say this to Sandi, okay? _(Daria and Quinn nod reluctantly)_ I-I'm _sorry_ you got _dragged_ into this, too, Sandi--

SANDI: _(Now sheds tears in a **proud** manner, gently puts her index finger on Darren's mouth, in a soft tone of voice:) --Shhh_--like, don't say anything more, Darren--you just _rest_, o-okay? _(Darren smiles weakly)_

Sandi then looked up at _Jane_, and motioned _her_ to come down beside Darren, to which a slightly surprised Jane did. After Jane got down beside them, Sandi put _Darren's_ hand on _Jane's_. Daria, Quinn, and especially Jane were _shocked_ by this act from Sandi (though Darren did _not_ seem to be), who then slowly raised herself up in a dignified manner, brushing her skirt off, and went over beside Helen and Jake.

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: Well, who would've **thunk** it--Sandi **does** have a **conscience**--she **is** human.)_

SANDI: _(In a low voice to both:)_ Like, Jane's _place_ is beside _her_ boyfriend, don't you think? _(Helen and Jake look at Sandi, confused, but saying nothing)_

It would take the ambulance and the police an _agonizing_ 15 minutes to show up, thanks to the rain, which was finally starting to _recede_. David and Leroy, along with Woo, directed the paramedics to Darren, while the police arrested Benny, Norwood, Oscar, Ernie, and Bert, charging them with kidnapping, attempted murder, and _"anything **else** they could find"._ Woo and his men stayed behind to talk to the police, saying they'd come right after to the hospital, while Helen and Jake went with their son in the ambulance, and Daria, Jane, Quinn, and Sandi took the Morgendorffer's blue Lexus and followed in _silence_, promising later to give statements to the police as well. Trent, Jesse, Max, and Nick stayed behind to give their statements, and would come to the hospital afterwards like Woo and his men. Helen called on her cell phone she took from the Lexus to her _mother_ and _mother-in-law_, giving them the _gist_ of what happened in the warehouses, and asked her mother to call _Amy_ and _Rita_ (and it would be _assumed_ that _Erin_ and _Brian_ would tag along as well). Needless to say, both mothers were _beside_ themselves and declared they'd be at the _Cedars of Lawndale_ hospital within a matter of _hours_.

In the meantime, the police and Coast Guard had searched the inlet for William Appleton's body--_not_ being able to _find_ it. The _assumption_ was that Darren's kick had knocked William _out_, and William had hit the water and _drowned_, and he was _washed_ out to the ocean.

It's been said that while good news travels _fast_, bad news travels even _faster_, and this bad news had traveled _so_ fast, that when the ambulance had arrived at the hospital by the emergency entrance, the _media_ and a large _crowd_ were _waiting_ for it. As Darren was taken out of the ambulance on a _stretcher_, news cameras began to roll, and pictures began to _flash_. Several reporters tried to come up shouting _questions_ to a thoroughly _confused_ and _angry_ Helen and Jake, but hospital security began to hold them back. The blue Lexus pulled into the hospital's parking lot nearby. Daria and Jane _frowned_ at the sight while they got out with Quinn and Sandi, and went into the emergency room past the throng of reporters and crowd.

DARIA: _(Bitter sarcasm:)_ Those damn _vultures_--they _already_ know who Darren _really_ is, Jane.

JANE: _(Ditto, narrows eyes:)_ Yeah--the _bastards_ didn't waste any _time_, did they?

QUINN: _(Puzzled with Sandi:)_ Huh? Daria, what're you _talkin'_ about? What do you _mean_ "who Darren _really_ is"? Why are all those _reporters_ and people _out_ there an' stuff?

SANDI: Yeah, like, what's _going_ on?

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ Well, you're gonna find out _anyway_, but let's hold off until _later_, okay? Right now, our first concern should be _Darren_.

As the girls went into the waiting room, one of several on the first floor, they found that the _Griffins_ were _already_ there, with Linda and Tom sitting in the chairs, and Sam and Chris _wrestling_ on the _floor_. When Linda saw her daughter, she _leapt_ off her chair, ran over to her, and hugged a surprised Sandi _fiercely_. Tom Griffin got up and _reluctantly_ patted his daughter on the back in a _reassuring_ manner. Sam and Chris looked at their sister, _shrugged_, and _resumed_ wrestling.

LINDA: _(Distraught:)_ Oh, Sandi! Are you all right?

SANDI: _Motherrrr_, like _how_ did you _know_ I was _here_? I was gonna _call_ you!

LINDA: _(Raised eyebrows:)_ You mean, no one's _told_ you yet? Your _boyfriend_ is _Arthur Appleton Jr._, the mysterious _multibillionare_ bachelor! _(Jane frowns at Linda's "boyfriend" statement, perplexed, while Daria rolls her eyes, and begins to **frown**)_

QUINN: _(Stunned:) WHAT_? My bro's _who_?

LINDA: _(Snorts:) You_ didn't know about your brother, Quinn, Daria? _(Pauses:)_ What kind of _bad_ mother wouldn't tell her daughters that her son is--

Daria _exploded_ in a _rage_, walking right up into a shocked Linda Griffin's _face_.

DARIA: _EXCUSE ME_, Mrs. Griffin, but my brother is fighting for his _life_ right about now, and you're worried about something as _stupid_ as about how much _money_ he has?! Don't you think we ought to worry about whether or not that he'll _live_!? _(Pauses:)_ I don't know about _you_, but I don't give a _damn_ about how much money Darren has--_(looks at Quinn:)_ and I don't think anyone _else_ should, either! _(Leaves the waiting room in a **huff**, while Tom Griffin secretly **smirks**)_

The waiting room was full of stunned _silence_ for a moment, then _Jane_ spoke up.

JANE: Uh, Daria's having a _bad_ night--like we _all_ have had, you understand. I'll go and _find_ her--excuse me. _(Leaves)_

QUINN: _(**Scowls** a little at Mrs. Griffin:)_ Um, I'm gonna go and find my parents, Sandi--see you later. _(Leaves)_

LINDA: _(Begins to frown:)_ What in the hell was all _THAT_ about?! How _dare_--

SANDI: _(Cuts her mother off, frowns:) Mother_! Like, that was _sooo_ not right! _(Frowns:)_ An' for th' _record_ an' stuff, I'm _not_ Darren's girlfriend--_(pauses:)_ that girl _Jane_ is! _(Linda looks at Sandi, stunned)_

Daria went to the end of the building, an encased glass area of couches and chairs, and _slammed_ herself into a couch. _At last, blessed silence_. Several minutes (or far _more_, she couldn't tell for sure) had past while she looked out into the now-late cloud-clearing nighttime sky, thinking. The _secret_ of who Darren was was _officially_ out now, but _so_ what? Why in the _hell_ did it matter about how much _money_ he had to people so much? To Daria (and she suspected mostly to Quinn), Darren was the long-thought-of-dead big brother, nothing _more_, nothing _less_, and to Jane, a _boyfriend_--_period_.

Now, he was a brother who was _fighting_ for his _life_, a life she had only shared with him for about a _month_. Possibly one _month_ to have gotten to know him, possibly only one _minute_ to _lose_ him. She looked down and shut her eyes in _pain_, determined not to cry anymore _tonight_--it was bad enough she had let _loose_ at those _damn_ warehouses--that short little _outburst_ at Linda Griffin, while feeling _good_ at the outset, did _not_ alleviate her private _turmoil_. If Darren _dies_--

Daria shook her head quickly, and _blasted_ that thought out of her mind. _Hell no--don't think like that, Daria--he's not gonna die._ She found herself shivering without her jacket that she had used to stop her brother's _blood_, putting her arms around herself, privately wondering if it was the cold air of the _air conditioning_ system, or out of her _festering_ fury from lowering the _boom_ on Mrs, Griffin. At that moment, she felt a _presence_ behind her. Daria was not in the _mood_--if it was anyone _outside_ of her family or Jane and Trent, they were going to get _another_ dose of her _ass_. She turned around, _frowning_.

_Tom_ was standing there with his jacket in his arms.

DARIA: _(Surprised:) Tom_? Where'd you come from?

TOM: _(Smirks:)_ I'd say I _dematerialized_ out of nowhere, but I'll just say from out in the _hallway. (Daria smirks)_ I happened to see you in here. I was about to leave you _alone_ and find out how Jane was doing--_(pauses:)_ but then I saw you without your _trademark_ green jacket, and you looked like you were cold, so I came in here to _offer_ you the _use_ of mine.

DARIA: _(Weak smile:)_ Still think that's a _"second cape"_, I see. _(Shrugs, sighs:)_ Ah, why the hell _not_? Sure, thanks. _(Tom puts his jacket on Daria's shoulders, sits down beside her on the couch)_ I guess you heard about the news, too, huh?

_(Note to reader: The "second cape" reference comes from the episode "I Loathe A Parade")_

TOM: Yes--I couldn't help _but_ to hear about it. It was on the local TV and radio stations--there are already _national_, and I've heard _international_ news organizations are converging on our _proud_ little community.

DARIA: _(Snorts:)_ What _Ms. Li_ wouldn't _give_ to get that sort of attention for her _Laaaawndale_ High.

TOM: _(Grows serious:)_ How's Darren?

DARIA: _(Looks away:)_ He--he was turning _pale_ when they put him in the ambulance, Tom--I'm no _expert_, but I think he had lost a _lot_ of blood. Jane and I had used our jackets to keep him from bleeding as _best_ as we could, but--it might not _still_ be enough.

TOM: _(Quietly:)_ Daria--Darren strikes me a being a _strong_ guy, not just _physically_, but _mentally_ as well--he doesn't want to _leave_ a family that he's just _found_. Don't give up--he's going to need your _strength_ like he needs everyone else's.

DARIA: _(Looking tired:)_ That's my _problem_, Tom--I-I don't know if I _have_ any strength left.

Tom hesitated for a moment, then slowly put his _hand_ on Daria's, offering support. Daria grew _wide-eyed_ for a moment, then relaxed, _slightly_ red-faced.

TOM: Then I'll offer _my_ strength for the _both_ of us. _(Offers a quiet smile)_

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: He's just gotten over Jane, and that's **it**, nothing more--**remember** that, Daria--he was being **nice** to you in that damn homecoming parade--so why in the hell am I getting that **same** feeling I had about **Trent**? Why do I feel **guilty**?)_ Um, er, _thanks_, Tom.

TOM: You're _welcome_, Daria--_(pauses:)_ uh, are you _hungary_? I could get you something from the hospital _cafeteria--(smirks:)_ the food there is a _little_ more _edible_ than what they serve in the hospital _rooms_.

DARIA: _(Smirks back:)_ That's because the hospital room food is the actually the _leftover_ food from the cafeteria. _(Thought v.o.: An **excuse**--get **rid** of Tom--**now**)_ Yeah, now when I think about it, running around in the _rain_ and surviving being _shot_ has given me an _appetite_.

TOM: _(Gets up:)_ Okay--anything in _particular_?

DARIA: As long as it doesn't _move_ on it's own, _anything_.

TOM: Gotcha--see you in a few. _(Leaves)_

Daria watched Tom leave, and breathed a _long_ sigh of relief after a minute. She was about to sit down, when _Jane_ showed up behind her.

JANE: Hey, _there_ you are! I've been looking all over for you for an _hour_! _(Daria jumps) Whoa_, sorry!

DARIA: An _hour_? I've been gone for _that_ long? _(Pauses:)_ Uh, _how_ long have you been there?

JANE: I just came in--I've been looking for you since you laid it on Sandi Griffin's _mommy_.

DARIA: _(Frowns:)_ I _don't_ feel _bad_ about that, if that's what you think.

JANE: And you _shouldn't_, amiga. She had it coming _big_ time. _(Pauses:)_ I just ran into _Tom_ in the hallway, and he told me you were in here while on his way to the _"barfeteria"._

DARIA: Um, _yeah_--he came in to see how I was _doing_.

JANE: _(Smirks:)_ And he offered you his _jacket_, and is buying you _food_--how _sweet_.

DARIA: _(Off-guard a bit, frowns:)_ What's _that_ supposed to mean?

JANE: _(Taken aback:)_ Huh? What do you _mean_? I was just saying that Tom could be _sweet_ at times--just like _Darren_, that's all. He offered to buy _me_ something to eat, but I wasn't hungary.

DARIA: _(Sighs:)_ Sorry to _snap_ at you like that, Jane--I'm just worried about Darren.

JANE: _(Quietly:)_ Just as _I_ am, amiga--it's okay.

Just then, the hospital intercom came on.

INTERCOM: Would Helen, Jake, Quinn, and Daria Morgendorffer and a Jane Lane come to the _critical care ward_, please? Would Helen, Jake, Quinn, and Daria Morgendorffer and a Jane Lane come to the the critical care ward, please? _(Daria and Jane look at each other, turn pale)_

_(Scene changes to another waiting room, near the critical care ward, a minute **earlier**)_

After leaving Sandi, Quinn had found her parents, and had sat with them for a little more than an hour while awaiting the results of the surgery in silence, saying nothing about the shocking _revelation_ of who her brother really was to them--it didn't seem *right* to do so, especially after seeing how Sandi's _mother_ had gone on about it--to Quinn, in a rather _insensitive_ way. She waited to see if her mother or father would bring up Darren's real identity--who was it again--_"Arthur Apple"_, or something--but apparently her parents had either _not_ known yet about who Darren really was, or did not _care_ at the moment given Darren's condition--and who could _blame_ them? As for Quinn, she thought to herself about Darren. _Why_ would he _pretend_ he was someone else? Her _suspicions_ were confirmed--Darren had money--_lots_ of it by all accounts--and he was a _billionaire_! Quinn perked _up_ for the briefest of moments when she thought about how much he had, then _frowned_ to herself--what _good_ would it do to think about something as _stupid_ as money at this point? Her _brother_ was fighting for his _life_, and she was wondering about his _wealth_? Quinn _berated_ herself for thinking like _Mrs. Griffin_. She suddenly then considered Daria's reaction to Mrs. Griffin, and what Daria had said to Quinn herself--_"and I don't think anyone else should, either!"_ What did her sister mean by _that_ remark? She pondered about that silently to herself, frowning.

Helen and Jake had talked to Dr. _Phillips_ and several specialists about Darren while Darren was being operated on, and had offered to give their _own_ blood. Dr. Phillips had said that it was _not_ necessary, and that the hospital _had_ Darren's blood type (A), and that Dr. Phillips would let them know as soon as possible about their son's condition in the _critical care ward_. Both had quietly went back into the waiting room, where they had seen Quinn sitting, but _not_ Daria or Jane. Helen had considered both girls getting called over the _intercom_ (she eventually asked for the staff to call Daria and Jane by it if they weren't around by the time an announcement was made over Darren's condition by Dr. Phillips), but decided that both probably wanted to deal with what had happened in _their_ own ways--_especially_ Daria. Helen was worried over how her middle daughter was taking this, after seeing her brother in such a state firsthand. At least Quinn was here--Helen could keep an _eye_ out on her. Helen then looked over at _Jake_, who was looking off into space, and gently rubbed his back. He smiled and returned the favor by holding Helen close to him. They had _found_ their son alive--now, they were close to _losing_ him, all because of some--some--_kidnapping_ over--some--_money_? _Is that what that masked **bastard** had said_? Helen remembered the _throng_ of people and reporters that had greeted them when they came up--like a pack of _jackels_. Why in the _hell_ would they come up like that? Granted, it was a _news_ event of _some_ sort, but to command so much _attention_? _Something doesn't seem **quite** right here_. Helen looked over to her youngest daughter, who seemed _deep_ in thought--probably wondering if her brother was going to _live_. Helen spoke to her in a quiet tone.

_(Note to reader: Dr. Phillips was seen in the episode "Ill")_

HELEN: Quinn, how are you doing, sweetie?

QUINN: _(Sighs:)_ I'm--okay, Mom.

HELEN: Well, that's good. _(Pauses, sighs:)_ I wonder how Daria and Jane are doing?

QUINN: Well, Jane went after Daria, so they probably are together to keep each other company, an' stuff.

JAKE: _(Looks off again, sad tone:)_ Yeah. _(Helen holds him next to her)_

The hospital intercom suddenly came on.

INTERCOM: Would Helen, Jake, Quinn, and Daria Morgendorffer and a Jane Lane come to the critical care ward, please? Would Helen, Jake, Quinn, and Daria Morgendorffer and a Jane Lane come to the critical care ward, please?

It didn't take but a _minute_ for Helen, Jake, and Quinn to rush over into the critical care ward where Dr. Phillips was waiting for them--he seemed to have a _neutral_ look on his face. Jake was about to ask him Darren's condition, but Helen _cut_ him off, wanting to wait for Daria and Jane, who came in a few minutes later. Daria had a _strained_ look on her face, while Jane _shut_ her eyes, and _cringed_ as she waited for the news. Quinn looked about ready to _cry_, while Helen and Jake held each other, looking at the doctor with _expectant_ looks on their faces. Dr. Phillips began.

DR. PHILLIPS: _(Begins to **smile**:)_ He'll be _fine. (Everyone breaks out in a delighted cry, even Daria gives her patented Mona Lisa smile, closes her eyes in relief)_ We we able to _stop_ the bleeding and get blood back into him. Fortunately, the bullet went _all_ the way through, and did not lodge into Darren's shoulder muscle, or any _bone_, for that matter. As a result, the wound was _smooth_, and we were able to deal with the damage to his shoulder muscle. It was good, however, that you did _stop_ the bleeding, or it would've been _far_ worse.

HELEN: _(Cries out of joy, hugs an equally happy Jake:)_ Oh, thank God! When can we _see_ our son?

DR. PHILLIPS: He was _just_ wheeled out of surgery, Mrs. Morgendorffer--I think you all should go _home_ and get some _rest_--he won't be awake until the morning.

HELEN: _(So happy, she **hugs** Dr. Phillips:)_ Oh, thank you, Dr. Phillips! _(Jake shakes his hand)_

DR. PHILLIPS: _(Happy himself:)_ It was my _pleasure_, Mr. and Mrs. Morgendorffer. We'll see you all tomorrow morning.

JAKE: _(Estatic:)_ Well be here bright 'n early, Doc! _(Gives thumbs up:)_ C'mon, gang--let's go home and rest--'course, I'm gonna be _so_ excited, I might not be _able_ to! _(Leaves with everyone into the hospital lobby)_

Jane closed her eyes, and gave a _large_ sigh, then broke out into an _larger_ grin. She was about to say something when Trent, Jesse, Nick, Max, and Woo and his men came into the hospital.

JANE: Trent! _(Runs over to hug him:)_ They say Darren's gonna be _okay_! _(Voice grows quieter:)_ But we won't be able to see him until tomorrow morning.

TRENT: _(Grins:)_ Oh, man, that's _great_, Janey! _(Frowns:)_ We didn't think the cops were _ever_ gonna let us go with all their questions, then we waited for Woo and his men to finish being _drilled_ so they could follow us here, not knowing where the hospital was, and when we got here, there was a _lot_ of media and people outside--we had to be _escorted_ in--_(smirks:)_ kinda _cool_. Don't worry, sis--we'll be back here _first_ thing in the morning.

WOO: As will _we_. Do you all know where a good hotel or motel are in the area where me and my men could stay for the night?

TRENT: Try the _Stopover Motel_, man--take highway seven south beside the hospital, and you'll be there in no time.

WOO: Thank you. _(Starts to leave with his men)_

_Daria_ and _Jane_ stepped up. Helen, Jake, and Quinn watched on the side with the others.

DARIA: _(Small, uncomfortable smile:)_ Um, before you leave--Jane and I want to _thank_ you for being there and helping out.

JANE: Yeah--if it wasn't for you guys--

WOO: _(Smiles:)_ --You're welcome, and it was our _job_, Jane--_(pauses:)_ we--_I_ owed him. _(Leroy and David look at each other knowingly, while leaving with Woo, and Daria and Jane look at each other and the others, perplexed for a moment)_

Daria and the others watched Woo and his men leave through the lobby and outside, where they were _swarmed_ by a crowd of people. Helen and Jake looked at each other, baffled, then Helen looked at Daria, frowning, and confused with Jake for a moment, then spoke.

HELEN: Daria, do you know _what's_ going on with that large crowd of people in front of the hospital? Why are there so many _damn_ media types outside, and why in the _hell_ did they come up to us when we got out of the ambulance with Darren? We didn't hear their _questions_ too well, and Jake and I have been _wondering_ what all of this is about!

JAKE: Yeah--_(grins:)_ is it because they heard of the _Jake Morgendorffer Consulting Agency_? _(Helen and Quinn roll their eyes, while Daria and Jane smirk, and Trent and Mystik Spiral look at each other strangely--Jake then pauses, realizes something:)_ Hey, Kiddo--_who's_ jacket are you wearing?

Daria's face turned _red_ for the briefest of instances, something _Jane_ picked up on, and _smirked_ briefly--her _"Partner In Crime"_ was _blushing_. Tom's _kindness_ must've _embarassed_ Daria once _again_--similar to that time after the _homecoming parade_.

DARIA: Um, _never_ mind that now, Dad--I know _why_ those _idiots_ were out there, and--

_Tom_ walked in the lobby with a bag of food, interrupting Daria, and the _Griffins_ came behind him a second later into the lobby, and stopped with him with everyone else.

TOM: --_There_ you are, Daria. I went to the critical care ward from the cafeteria when I heard you and Jane were called, but you were gone, and I thought I might have _missed_ you--_here_ you go. _(Hands her the bag:)_ It's a couple of _cheeseburgers_--I figured your _family_ might've wanted something to eat as well.

DARIA: _(Red-faced again:)_ Um, thanks, Tom--how much--

TOM: _(Holds his hand up:)_ It's okay, Daria--with everything you and your family have gone through tonight--it's on the _house. (Pauses:)_ So, how's Darren _Appleton_? Is he going to be all right?

DARIA: _(Along with Jane looks over at her parents, who frown, confused:)_ Uh, Tom, he's gonna be okay, but he needs his _rest_--we'll be back here tomorrow morning to see him.

TOM: _(Smiles:)_ Great! Well, I'm going to go on--Daria, you can _keep_ my jacket--I'll pick it up sometime tomorrow or Monday _(Daria turns red yet again, and Jane smirks yet again)_--see you all--goodnight. _(Leaves through a side door to get away from the crowd outside)_

HELEN: Goodnight, Tom, and thank you again! Did he say Darren _"Appleton"_? That _can't_ be right, Daria--Darren's last name is _Coverton_.

LINDA: _(Steps in, gives a quick **glare** at Daria, who **returns** it:)_ Don't tell me _you_ didn't know, Helen? Your son is the _multi-billionaire_ Arthur Appleton, Jr.! It's all over the _airwaves_! _(Helen and Jake look stunned along with Trent and Mystik Spiral)_ Sandi here _claims_ that a _"Jane Lane"_ is Darren's _boyfriend_ for _some_ reason, but _Sandi_ is the _real_ girlfriend of your son!

SANDI: But _Motherrr--(Quinn looks uncomfortable, slowly tries to slip off unoticed, but Daria sees her and **smirks**, saying nothing--it's all going to hit the **fan**.)_

JANE: _(Cuts her off, angry:) --Hey_! Darren _is_ my boyfriend--your daughter's _right_--where in the _hell_ did you get the idea that Sandi Griffin is Darren's girlfriend? Okay, so I _let_ him go with Sandi last night on that _damn_ "date" with your daughter, _(Helen looks surprised with Jake)_ but Daria and I were _watching_ Darren and Sandi every step of the way! _(Now Helen and Jake look at a **red-faced** Daria and frown)_

DARIA: _(Thought v.o., sighs: Now it looks like what has hit the fan is gonna be spread out on **me**.)_

LINDA: _(Glares:) "Let"_? Now _see_ here, "Jane", is it? My Sandi _likes_ Darren, or Arthur--_(Sandi turns red)_ and she told me though it was part of a _deal_ to keep _Quinn_ in the Fashion Club, that she had developed _feelings_ for him, _(Sandi turns even **redder**, embarassed)_ and that those feelings were _real_! Even when Sandi _ran_ into Quinn at that _Haven_ place _last_ night, it didn't _ruin_ the date!

HELEN: _WHAT_!? Quinn was at _Stacy's_ last night for a slumber party! _(Looks around, then sees Quinn ready to sneak out of the side door:) QUINN_! _(Quinn winces, slowly turns around, then shuffles back to the group)_ Is this _true_? Your father and I thought you were at _Stacy's_ last night!

QUINN: _(Whines:)_ But, _muh--oom_, I was just, um--

HELEN: --We'll speak about this _later_, young lady!

JAKE: _("Back-up":)_ Yeah, _later_! _(Quinn rolls her eyes)_

LINDA: _(Sneers:)_ Can't keep them under _control_, eh, Helen? Well, I guess we'll all talk later--good bye--_(glares at Jane:)_ Sandi can talk to _her_ boyfriend then. _(Leaves with her family, and Jane **scowls** after them, Trent puts his hand on her shoulder to calm her down)_

SANDI: _(While leaving:)_ Um, _sorry_, Quinn, Jane--

JANE: _(Mutters:)_ That _arrogant_ witch! Now I know where Sandi _got_ it from!

TRENT: Easy, Janey--_(realizes:)_ um, is that why you guys couldn't come to our gig at _McGrundy's_ last night? You had to watch Darren take this _"Sandi"_ girl out on a _date_ with _Daria_?

JANE: _(Sighs:)_ Well, uh--it's a _long_ story, Trent--I'll tell you on the way home. We'll see you guys tomorrow morning, okay? _(Leaves with Trent and the members of Mystik Spiral)_

DARIA: Okay, see you then.

HELEN: _(Scowls, hands on hips:)_ Daria, _why_ did you tell us that you were dating a _"Martin"_ fellow when you were really with _Jane_ and Quinn watching Darren date Sandi?

JAKE: _("Back up":)_ Yeah, _why_? _(Helen glares at Jake)_

DARIA: _(Pauses, deadpan:)_ Do you know how _weird_ that just _sounded_, Mom? _(Sighs:)_ Look, can we talk about this _later_? You wanted to know about _Darren_, remember? I'll tell you about it on our way _home_, okay?

HELEN: _(After a moment:)_ Well, all right, and I'll call your grandmas and aunts on the way, and let them sleep _over_ at our house tonight, and then we'll all come here tomorrow morning to see Darren.

The Morgendorffers left the hospital, and ran into a _huge_ crowd of cameras, reporters, and _questions_, ignoring them all, and had to be _escorted_ to the Lexus, then off the parking lot by the police. On the way, after Helen had called their relatives, finding out that they found a hotel to stay at instead of sleeping over--(much to Daria's _secret_ delight, save of course for her aunt Amy) Daria, while eating the cheeseburgers Tom had given her, explained why Darren had done what he had done, according to what Woo told her. Helen, Jake, and now Quinn were _stunned_ beyond belief. Darren had tried to _protect_ them from the murderers of his adopted parents--taking all of the _burden_ for himself, and of the plane crash "accident". They barely had time to _react_ to this news when they were greeted at their home by _another_ large crowd of reporters and cameras in and around their _yard_ and _driveway_. Jake was about to _lose_ it, when the police yet _again_ had to escort the Morgendorffers into their own home. Quinn had been _tempted_ to try and get the _attention_, but a quick _glare_ from Helen took care of that. The police offered to keep everyone off the Morgendorffer's lawn for the _night_, and Helen and Jake _gratefully_ accepted the offer.

When the Morgendorffers got inside, the phone answering machine was _bursting_ with messages, and out of curiousity, Jake turned it on, hearing interview and _investment_ offers from a variety of sources thanks to their knowing _Darren_--he was _considering_ some of them, when Helen _screamed_ at him to stop it, and took out the batteries from _all_ the cell phones in the house--there had been _enough_ calls for tonight--to Daria, in of itself an _ironic_ thing to happen concerning her mother. There was a message for Daria from _Kevin_, who asked if Darren would _"give up"_ his _"invisibility secret"_ that Kevin believed had made Darren rich. Daria shook her head slowly at this, and went upstairs with Quinn--the time was _2:00 a.m._. She stopped at Darren's room when she heard the cell phone in there ring. After pausing for a moment, Daria went in, and _answered_ it.

DARIA: Um, hello?

VOICE: _(Frantic:)_ Oh thank _God_ someone _finally_ answered! _(Pauses:)_ W-who _is_ this?

DARIA: This is Daria Morgendorffer, a _tired_ teen-ager. Who is _this_?

VOICE: _(Surprised:)_ Darren's _sister_? This is _Millie Appleton_, Darren's aunt! I'm calling from a _private jet_ at _40,000_ feet about my nephew's _condition_! I just tried to call your hospital, but the lines were _jammed_! I-Is Darren--

DARIA: _(Now more alert, gently cuts her off:)_ It's okay, Ms. Cov--Appleton--your nephew's gonna be _okay_--he came out of surgery with _flying colors_.

MILLIE: _(Sobs:)_ Thank God! I'm on my way _there_, and I'll arrive in this _"Lawndale"_ by _7:00 a.m._ Sunday, your time--and please call me _Millie_, okay? I'm going to call Darren's friend _Curtis_, and tell him the _wonderful_ news, and the staff at the _mansion_! _(Pauses:)_ I haven't reached his _uncle_ yet, but I'm still trying to _contact_ him at his _apartment_--

DARIA: _(Turns pale:)_ Uh, _excuse_ me, but you didn't _hear_ about, um--

MILLIE: Hear about _what_, Daria? I was flying on my way home when my pilot told me of hearing something about a _report_ that my nephew had been _shot_, but we were _cut off_ before the _entire_ report could be broadcast--something my pilot called _"magnetic sunspot interference"_ up here that _disrupted_ our radio and _TV_ broadcasts, even my _laptop_ computor. We _just_ got it back--the _phone_ part, that is. _(Gets excited:)_ I'm sure _William_ will be _delighted_ that Darren's all right, Daria!

DARIA: _(Thought v.o.: I seriously **doubt** that.)_ Uh--Millie, about your _brother_, um--

MILLIE: --Yes, dear?

DARIA: _(Bites her lip:)_ --Maybe--maybe he's _already_ heard that Darren's okay, and is _asleep_. Perhaps you should _wait_ until you've _seen_ Darren before you _talk_ to him, and for that matter, your uh, _"staff"_ at the um, _"mansion"_? They're probably _asleep_ as well, having haerd the good news as well, the _same_ for Darren's friend _Curtis_. In fact, maybe _you_ should get some sleep like _I'm_ gonna do.

MILLIE: Oh, I'm _sorry_, dear--do-do you know _what_ happened? Was it an _accident_, or something? Did anyone _else_ get hurt?

DARIA: Uhh--_something_ like that, and uh, I can say of a _certainty_ that no one else was _hurt (Thought v.o.: But **died** instead). (Yawns for real:)_ Uh, if you don't _mind_, Millie, I'm gonna get that sleep. I'll see you at the hospital tomorrow morning, okay?

MILLIE: Of course, Daria--and you're _right_--I _need_ my sleep if I'm going to see my nephew. William will probably _be_ there at the airport to meet me, anyway. It was nice talking to you--goodnight.

DARIA: Goodnight--see you then. _(Clicks off Darren's phone, and out of insurance, decides to take **out** the batteries in his phone to keep **others** from calling, following Helen's lead) (Thought v.o.: Best if **Darren** tells her tomorrow than if she finds out from anyone else.) (Goes into her room, changes into her "Mark Twain" pullover pajamas--considers writing about the days events in her "so-called" diary, and decides **not** to--at least for now, turns off light, goes to bed)_

The following morning, after an surprisingly _uneventful_ sleep, Helen was told by her mother _Evelyn_ and mother-in-law _Ruth_ that they'd be waiting at the hospital for them with _Amy, Rita, Erin_, and _Brian_. Jane had also called, telling Daria the same thing. Daria had also told her family of Millie's phone call last night, which made Helen and Jake turn _pale_ over what she'd hear from her nephew over this. After everyone had cleaned up and had gotten ready, they went out, and were promptly greeted by another _throng_ of reporters and cameras while being escorted by the police to their car, this time the SUV. PO'd, Daria had been seriously considering giving the press the _"bird"_, but decided to go with her _better_ judgement--these people _weren't_ worth it.

Once again, the crowd was _huge_ at the Cedars of Lawndale hospital as the Morgendorffers got out of their car, and the police and hospital security had to slip them in. When they got into the lobby, their relatives were there along with Jane and Trent, Woo and his men, and Millie Appleton, a red-haired, _attractive_ woman, who had explained that she had just gotten in only _minutes_ before the Morgendorffers, slipping in _unobserved_. Daria sighed to herself in relief--Darren could break the news to her himself. Then, an _argument_ broke out over _who_ should see Darren first outside his _immediate_ family among Evelyn and Ruth--an _angry_ Amy intervened and said that _both_ grandmothers could go in after the family. Daria asked if _Millie_ could go in first, and Helen and Jake, after hearing what Daria had said this morning about her call, quickly _agreed_, much to the _shock_ of both grandmothers, whom Helen pulled to the side privately to explain why.

Darren had been awoke from his sleep for about an _hour_, and he looked over at his left shoulder--it was badaged heavily, and in pain. Dr. Phillips had talked to him about his injury, and said that he would _not_ be able to use the shoulder for at least _three_ weeks--no weights--he sighed to himself--at least he was _alive_, and he couldn't _complain_ about that.

But alive unto _what_? Darren was informed by Dr. Phillips and the TV about what happened last night--it had been like some sort of _dull_ nightmare. Darren laid back unto his pillow, thinking--the secret was _out_--he had _lied_ to his birth family and _everyone_ around here, even if it was to _protect_ them. Would they _forgive_ him? He noticed that the door to his room began to _open_, and _Millie_ came in. He gave a _wide_ grin when he saw her, which she more than returned in kind.

MILLIE: _(Begins to cry:) Darren_! _(Rushes over, gingerly hugs him:)_ Thank God you're okay! How-how are you _doing_?

DARREN: I'm _tired_, of course, and my shoulder _hurts_, though the _pain-killers_ the doctors have prescribed to me have done the trick in _numbing_ the pain. Say, I'm kind of _surprised_ that my birth family let _you_ in _first_, not that I'm _complaining_, mind you.

MILLIE: I think they considered my _travel_ here when I heard what happened to you, and gave me a wide _lattitude_ in seeing you. _(Grows quiet:)_ How-how did you get like _this_, Darren?

DARREN: _(Turns pale:)_ You mean--you mean, you _don't_ know? I thought for sure--

MILLIE: _(Waves him off, smirks:)_ --It's quite an _interesting_ story, nephew, involving _sunspots_--remind me to tell you _later. (Grows serious:)_ Now, how did you get like _this_? _(Frowns, perplexed:)_ And for _that_ matter, where is your _uncle William_? He should've been here right about _now_!

Darren _grimaced_, and looked down, then back up at his aunt, looking _distraught_. Millie cocked her head at him inquisitively, caressing his face.

DARREN: _(Gathers the courage to speak:)_ Aunt Millie, there's something I have to _tell_ you about what happened--and it _involves_ uncle Will--and what happened with my _parent's_ crash--

Daria, Helen, Jake, and Quinn were down the hallway from Darren's room, waiting next to see him while sitting in some chairs. Helen, sitting beside Daria, leaned over and spoke to her in a quiet tone of voice.

HELEN: Sweetie, do you think we did the _right_ thing in doing this? Perhaps we should've told Millie _ourselves_.

DARIA: No, Mom--I think Darren would probably want to tell her _himself_--it's gonna be a _huge_ shock to her to have lost _another_ brother, and even _worse_, hearing that her _nephew_ had to do the _deed_ to protect _us_--

The next instant, there was a wild, sobbing _scream_ from Darren's room, a scream that _resonated_ throughout the hallway. Quinn grabbed her father, scared, while Helen, out of a sense of _caring_, got up, and went _into_ Darren's room to help _console_ the now-grieving Millie Appleton, along with _several_ orderlies. Daria watched, seemingly _impassive_ on the outside, but _sadly_ on the _inside_. Death itself is _never_ a pleasant experience, but having someone you _love_ carry out the _act_ is even _more_ of a tragedy. _Damn it, bro--haven't you been through **enough** already_?

After several minutes, Millie had been taken to _another_ room, under _sedation_, with the orderlies _assuring_ Darren that she'd be all right. The Morgendorffers came into the room, and after the customary hugs and kisses, Darren reluctantly spoke.

DARREN: _(Quiet tone:)_ Please don't _interrupt_ me until I'm finished, okay? I'm _sorry_ for all of the _lies_. I should have just told you all who I was the first time you all met me. You might've _thought_ I didn't tell you out of _protecting_ you, but that wasn't the case at _first_. I didn't tell you because like an _idiot_, I followed my _uncle's_ advice, and deliberately _hid_ my past, only pausing enough to give you all _half-truths_, and _half-lies_. You took me _immediately_ into your home with _no_ questions asked, which _alone_ should have told me of your _decency_ and _honesty_. Instead, I _continued_ to _lie_ to you, occasionally building up the _courage_ to tell you who I really was, but like a _coward_, backing off in the _end_--not that I didn't _try_ to tell you. As you now know, I then found out about what had _really_ happened to _my--(hesitates:) parents_, and, following Woo's advice, had to _continue_ to keep you in the _dark_--you don't--you don't know _how_ much I wanted to _tell_ you--I mean _really_ wanted to tell you--_(Helen, Jake, and Quinn look like they want to **cry**, while Daria looks at her brother with a slight look of **compassion**)_ and I just _couldn't. (Looks at Quinn:)_ Quinn, I told you to tell the _truth_ about Daria being your _sister_, but I couldn't tell you all the truth about my _real_ identity, and in that, I was a _hypocrite_. I'm sorry for that. _(Quinn gives him a weak smile, then Darren looks at Daria:)_ Daria, I know honesty is _tantamount_ to your _life_, and I _violated_ that, and I'm sorry. _(Looks down, snorts bitterly:)_ Some _"protection"_--it nearly got you all _killed_. I can only hope you all can _forgive_ me for what I did.

DARIA: _(Before anyone else can speak:)_ Bro, _listen_, and listen _good_, because I'm only gonna say this _once_--you weren't _perfect_, but here's some _"shocking"_ news--_none_ of us are. Okay, so you didn't tell us _right_ off the bat that you were _"Arthur Appleton Jr."--**big damn hairy deal**_. My--uh, _our_ parents didn't tell us about what they thought was a _miscarriage_ for _20_ years, and Quinn and I _forgave_ them, and we can forgive _you_ for about a _month_ of these so-called _"lies"_. Oh, and in between these _"lies"_, you did what--saved Jane's _life_, actually brought some _sanity_ to our family _(Helen, Jake, and Quinn look at her funny)_, helped Quinn with her studies _(Quinn nods)_, uh, _"bonded"_ with _each_ of us in one way or another, and saved me and Jane's lives while getting _shot_ and fighting for your life in the process. All of this on _top_ of having an uncle who plotted and schemed to _eliminate_ you behind the scenes, having done it already to your--_parents_, and _manipulate_ the company's inner workings. _(Pauses:)_ Oh, and your trying to _"protect"_ us didn't almost _kill_ us--it was your _damn_ uncle who did that. These things, I might add, make your _"so-called"_ lies look like little _fibs_. Bro, I think I can safely speak for everyone in this room when I say that you're _forgiven_, and _then_ some.

DARREN: But--

QUINN: _(Soft giggle:) Hush_, bro--_(looks at Daria, smirks:)_ I can say that this is the _first_ time I _completely_ agree with my sis on _everything_, an' stuff. _(Daria looks surprised)_ Th' only thing I care about is that you're _alive_--I don't care _how_ much money you've got. _(Helen suddenly reaches over and **feels** Quinn's forehead, while Daria takes her pulse, which makes Darren laugh)_ What are you guys doin'?

DARIA: Trying to understand if the heat hasn't affected your _brain_--what _little_ of it that's _left_. Our bro's _loaded_, and you're not gonna _charm_ him into giving you a _dime_?

HELEN: _(Gasps:)_ Daria!

QUINN: _(Snorts:) Daaaria_! Why should I _care_ about how much money Darren's got--_(looks at Darren, shrugs, indifferent:) what--_

DARREN: _(Smirks:) --10 billion dollars--_

QUINN: _--10 billion dollars_, Daria! _See_? I'm _not_ affected in the _least_ by Darren's _wealth_! _(Thought v.o.: OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!)_

There suddenly was a _sound_ in the room, like a _thump_. Daria, Helen, Quinn, and Darren looked down on the floor, and saw _Jake_ sprawled out, having _fainted_.

HELEN: _JAKE_! _(Goes over with Quinn to help Jake up in a chair)_

DARIA: _(Deadpan, smirks:)_ So noted, sis--it looks like Dad _was_, though. Better get the _smelling salts_. _(Pauses:)_ At least we know it wasn't the _ether_ that made him faint _this_ time. _(Helen gives her a quick glare while Daria leans over to a snickering Darren, in a **low** voice:)_ Bro, there's something _else_ I gotta _ask_ you--

DARREN: _(Senses Daria wants to confide something to him, leans closer:)_ --Yes, Daria?

DARIA: Were you the _"Mysterious Benefactor"_ for Mystik Spiral?

DARREN: _(Smiles:) Yes_, I was.

DARIA: You didn't _know_ Jane or Trent at the time--_why_ did you _help_ Trent and the guys?

DARREN: _(Raised eyebrows:)_ Why, isn't it _obvious_, Daria? I did it for _you (Daria looks shocked)_--other than the fact that I wanted to use my money to help out somebody.

DARIA: _(Still stunned:)_ You-did-that-for-_me_? _Why?_

DARREN: Uh--because you're my _sister_? _(Daria smirks) (Looks over to a now-recovering Jake:)_ Ah, is he okay?

HELEN: _(Pats Jake on the back gently:)_ He'll be fine, Darren.

JAKE: _(Mutters, in a daze:) 10 billion bucks--_

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ Anyway--I wanted to ask you all if you and Jane, and Trent and the others can _come_ to the _mansion_ where I live after everything settles down in a few _weeks. (Quinn's eyes light up, gasps)_ I'd like to introduce you to _my_ world. The mansion my aunt and I live in sits on _450_ acres of land by a large _lake_, is about _12,000_ square feet, with _18_ bedrooms, and _15_ bathrooms--

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ --Quinn will have a _ball_ with those bathrooms--we may _never_ see her again. _(Quinn rolls her eyes at Daria)_

DARREN: _(Chuckles:)_ --Anyway, we also have a _huge_ study of books for _you_, Daria--_(Daria cocks an intrigued eyebrow)_

QUINN: _(Smirks:)_ --And we'll _never_ see Daria again--_(Daria now rolls her eyes)_

DARREN: We also have horse _stables_, and a _helipad_--one can have _absolute_ silence on the estate--something I think _Jane_ would appreciate when she paints.

HELEN: _(Smiles, laughs:)_ You don't have to roll out the _red_ carpet for us, sweetie!

JAKE: _(Has now recovered somewhat:)_ Yeah, Big Guy! We're _just_ your _family_!

DARREN: _(Arched eyebrow, grins:) "Just"_ my family? Well, I intend to treat my _"family"_ to a _good_ time, so get _used_ to it! You've been _warned_.

DARIA: And who, pray tell, are _we_ to say _no_? I know _Jane_ will _jump_ on your offer, bro.

DARREN: Good--Quinn, you can bring your _Fashion Club_ friends, if you want.

QUINN: _(Gasps, excited, runs over and gingerly hugs her bro:)_ Oh, _thank you_, Darren! I'm sure they'll wanna go!

DARIA: There go the _rest_ of the bathrooms.

HELEM: Well, now that we've gone through all of that, I know there are some _other_ people who want to see you as well, Darren--I'll bring up everyone else after checking on your aunt Millie. _(Leaves)_

DARREN: Thanks. Speaking of checking up on people, I'd better call my friend _Curtis_--he must be _beside_ himself by now. _(Is handed the phone by Quinn, who dials the numbers that Darren tells her)_

The next several days consisted of visits (particularly the _"fun"_ ones by _Jane_), phone calls, and an _exclusive_ interview with _Meg Rosata_, with Darren issuing out an _apology_ to all of Lawndale for what he had done. Darren had also called an _emergency_ meeting of the Board and the stockholders via a special monitor system from his hospital bed--after careful consideration, he had chosen a stunned _Constance Waters_ (much to the delight of an equally stunned Daria) to become the new Chair(wo)man of Appleton Industries. When asked by some members as to _why_ he chose Constance, Darren had said it was a _"important decision he made after taking into consideration something that a person who is becoming more and more important in my life had said to me"_, which made Daria turn red-faced, and Jane _snicker_ with delight. Constance also announced that _Leonard Potter_ would be reinstated as head legal council of Appleton Industries. Leonard also agreed to be the _personal_ lawyer to Darren, much like he was to Arthur Sr. and Lucille.

The shoulder had healed properly enough to where Darren could get up, and make his decision to go _back_ to the mansion and finish recuperating there, much to the chagrin of the Morgendorffers and Jane, but Darren said he wanted to "prepare" for the visit of his family and friends. Millie had gone on ahead to the mansion--rather _subdued_, Darren had noticed--and for _good_ reason--she had lost _two_ brothers. He confided to Jane and Daria that he would spend some _time_ with his aunt when he got back to the mansion.

As for _Woo_ and his men, they were given _generous_ bonuses for their work by Darren. _So_ generous, that Woo proclaimed a _two_ week vacation for _everyone_ in his detective agency. Woo also agreed to be on _permanent_ retainer for Darren, in case Darren needed him in the future.

The time would come for Darren to _leave_ for the mansion, and before he did, he told Daria to expect the top-of-the-line _Sharpshooter_ computor system in a few days to replace her _old_ system. Daria was _stunned_ to get this top of the line system, but accepted it because Darren _insisted_ on it, having gotten Quinn the _Circa Orginal_ dress. On the side, he had ordered special _camel hair_ brushes for Jane, who promptly painted a "farewell" portrait for Darren--for the _time_, at least.

Darren had been chauffered with the Morgendorffers and Jane and Trent to the airport via a rented _limousine_ courtesy of Darren--much to Trent's _delight_--the limo would take them back from the airport after Darren left. He got out of the limo with the others and went up to the private plane.

HELEN: _(Softly hugs her son, sobs:)_ We'll see you in a few _weeks_, Darren--you take care of that shoulder, son.

JAKE: _(Ditto:)_ Yeah, Big Guy--you gotta have it ready for our _golf_ outing, right? _(Darren nods)_

QUINN: _(Hugs her brother, who kisses her on the cheek:)_ Now, bro, we gotta go to those _exclusive_ designer shops while in New York City--Sandi and the rest of th' Fashion Club are Lookin' _forward_ to doin' that--

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ --And of _eating_ up _"The Big Apple"_ and leaving a _core_ for us all. _(Quinn gives her a quick glare)_

DARREN: Don't worry, sis--we can do all those things.

TRENT: _(Shakes Darren's hand:)_ Hey, man--we _owe_ you for the _money_.

DARREN: Trent--you guys in Mystik Spiral have to _follow_ your dreams and _make_ them happen--that's how you'll pay _me_ back--don't sit _back_ and _wait_ for them to happen, because if you _try_ that, you'll _never_ reach your goal.

Jane walked up to Darren with a _wicked_ smirk.

JANE: See you in a _few_, Darren.

DARREN: _(Returns it:) Likewise_, Jane. I'll call, of course. _(Both begin to kiss each other deeply)_

About _two_ minutes later, and after a rather--_uncomfortable_ waiting period by everyone involved, Darren and Jane _finally_ stopped kissing, then Darren got onto the plane. Daria motioned to everyone for a moment.

DARIA: Um, I forgot to _give_ something to Darren--be right back. _(Goes up on plane)_

Darren had sat down in his seat when he saw Daria come up.

DARREN: _(Slightly concerned, gets up:)_ Something _wrong_, sis?

DARIA: _(Red-faced, smirks:)_ Bro, I _forgot_ to give you something--promise me you won't go _spreading_ it around.

DARREN: What, Daria?

Daria looked around quickly, seeing no one, then quietly walked up to her brother and gave him a gentle _hug_. Unlike the previous one she had given him following finding out they were brother and sister, this was a _genuine_, more _comfortable_ one. Darren hugged his sister as best as he could with the awkward dressing on his shoulder, then _kissed_ a red-faced and surprised Daria gently on the forehead.

DARREN: _(Softly:)_ See you in a few weeks, sis.

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ Make sure you have that _study_ ready for me to _devour_, bro--I'm getting a _hankering_ for some reading.

DARREN: _(Grins:)_ It'll be ready, I promise.

Daria came out of the plane and went back with the others. The plane's doors shut, and everyone watched the plane begin to taxi on the runway, then when cleared to go, began to build up speed, and took off. After about a minute, everyone got back into the limo, and it drove off.

DARIA: Damn it, I miss him _already_.

JANE: _(Sighs:) Tell_ me about it, amiga.

QUINN: _(Looks down:)_ Yeah.

JAKE: _(Frowns:)_ DAMNIT!

HELEN: _(Hooks her arm with his:)_ Now, Jakey--he'll still _call_ us, and everything will be fine! It's only a couple of _weeks_ before we'll see him again!

JANE: Trent, what do you--

Trent was _asleep_ on the limo's seat with his head tilted back, snoring.

DARIA: _(Smirks:)_ I guess he's _"thinking"_ again.

JANE: _(Ditto:)_ Then methinks my bro thinks _too_ much. _(Pauses:)_ You know, Daria--you can't say that this has been a _boring_ summer now, can you?

DARIA: _(Shrugs:)_ If I _wanted_ to, I _could_, Jane--but I'll settle for _"mildly amusing"_ instead. _(Jane smirks while the limo goes down the road)_

_Epilogue_

_(Scene changes to the Appleton estate, a few hours later)_

Darren sat down beside the _graves_ of his dead parents, in the cool and softly breezy summer afternoon among the delicious trees and oaks, and began to speak:

DARREN: Mom, dad--I want to tell you that I've found _another_ family--my _birth_ family. I want you two to know that I'll _always_ be an Appleton, but I'll have a little bit of _Morgendorffer_ in me as well. _(Pauses:)_ I'm _sorry_ about _uncle Will_, mom, dad, and what he did to _you_--I'll do what I can to help aunt Millie through all of this--I know she kind of still feels _threatened_ by the Morgendorffers, and we'll have to work _through_ that. _(Smiles:)_ I have a new _girlfriend_--her name's _Jane Lane_. You'd _like_ her--she's a little more _open_ than Stephanie was. I think she'll like the peace and serenity of the estate where she could _paint_ without any _distractions_. I hope my--_new_ family will _enjoy_ themselves here, as well. I want to thank you both for being _there_ for me in my life, and I'll try to live up to both of your _expectations_, I _promise_.

Darren got up from the site, and quietly strolled back to the mansion.

_THE END..._

For _now_, that is. I plan on possibly doing (much shorter) stories (or follow ups) in my own time, based on what happens after Season Four, and possibly after the TV movie (or before, I'm not quite sure)--if the demand is there, mind you. There are still _soooo_ many loose ends after this story, am I right? Oh well, anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this fic, possibly the _longest_ 'Daria' fanfic of all time. What you've read was the culmination of about _ten_ months of work, starting during the "Drought" of Season Three. All of this simply came from an idea that kept going on in my head--I then jotted down a quick outline, some new characters, and went off--just like that. There weren't too many stories that I saw that had a bona-fide full-blooded sibling for Our Heroine, so why not give her and Quinn one, in this case, an older (lost) brother? I originally had Jane fall for Darren right off after she came back from her vacation, but then the 'Daria' writers threw me for a loop when _Tom_ was introduced, and I seriously thought about _gutting_ the whole thing, but then I decided that I had started this story, so why not see it out to the end? As I kept writing, I felt a little awkward as I saw how Season Four was going concerning how Tom and Jane were getting along--but thanks to Kara Wild's essay about the canon approach, I kept going. Then lo and behold, "I Loathe A Parade" came up, and new ideas flowed in my head! Believe or not (and I wouldn't blame you if you _didn't_ believe me), the story plot just kind of fed itself throughout. I stayed away from jotting down scenes on a paper, then typing it on the screen, oh no--that isn't _my_ style. I just allowed the story to _come about_ in my mind, and I typed it down. Hey--if it didn't work, I _deleted_ it, and went with something else! We've got the technical know-how to do it, so why _not_ do it that way? (For me, anyhow.) There were times that I became _stuck_ with where to go--(writer's block), so when that happened, I simply stopped doing it, and walked away to cool my mind, and do something else. A good lesson to learn, by the way--never _force_ the writing--simply go with the flow. I had a _fantastic_ beta-reader (who will be thanked in a second) that helped to point out some scenes that I could have added or taken out. All in all, it was a good learning experience, and I hoped that you truly enjoyed it, I really do. I know that there were not the customary commercials and songs that you're used to seeing, but I was simply trying to tell a _story_--nothing more, nothing less--I'll leave something like that to the expert 'Daria' writers.

Time to thank some people.

I'd like to thank Diane _(Smoochy)_ Long, Canadibrit, Crazy Nutso, John Takis, Kendra, J, Nemo Blank, the 'Daria' fanfic addict, Desanera, and the others who did so as well, encouraging me along the way.

But the one I hold out above everyone else here is one:

_Kara Wild!_

Take a bow (or curtsy), Kara! I want to thank you for beta-reading this mega-fanfic throughout the entire process, _your_ encouragement, and of giving me permission to use some of your _"Driven Wild"_ continuum, and of the characters. Your advice was invaluable.

_Notes:_

There really _is_ a _Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising_. It has campuses in Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego, and Orange County, California. Check what it is on www.fidm.com.

I have some trivial questions that I'd like to ask you all for fun. Could you:

Spot any "Running Gags" in the story?

Figure out if any of the titles of the chapters have any double meanings?

Questions, comments? The address is SGall23241@aol.com--please be kind. Thanks.


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